messages to red-river:
(click here to add new message):

from jaded20 :
i used to read your diary before, and id really like to read it again and catch up with what has been happening with you, if i can u can email me at [email protected]
from paleblue- :
hey red-river
from raven72d :
I do want you to tell me about your memories of travel... I miss your voice.
from raven72d :
I love your entries and your thoughts, girl. And your memories...
from raven72d :
Feel safe, feel better, Becky. And you do have me to talk to.
from tcklyrpharsn :
any place you can feel safe is a place you don't have to justify. if you need it, take it. you don't have to make excuses to anyone, even if it is starfucks.
from skeeetball :
i used to read your diary. i miss reading. may i come in? you can email me at [email protected] i had to lock my diary because someone who wasn't supposed to, found it.
from rubycoquette :
remember, potato bugs are potato bugs, goldfish are goldfish, thimbles are thimbles and life is life
from raven72d :
I hope things are going better... Feel safe and cared for, Becky. You can call me if you need a listener or kindness.
from bluephonic :
I don't know how much comfort it is to recieve messages from strangers on the internet, but I hope things work out and/or get better.
from raven72d :
We spoke last night. I wanted to thank you for that. You've been kind and affectionate for me, and you're someone I enjoy talking with. Thanks for all that. You haven't let me down...and you did tell me things about DXM.
from tcklyrpharsn :
hey, hugs to you from me, virtual and anonymous though they be. courage, mon amie! (hey, all that rhymed.)
from raven72d :
Landscape architecture is a whole wonderful thing to know about.
from chumped :
hello. let's get coffee—i emailed you at tribelostbyfinding it, are you still there?
from tornadobird :
new york is awesome. I'll be there in late july/ early august if all goes as planned... I'm moving to oakland in about two weeks. my friend Haley in NY says she'll write a play with a part for me with her experimental theatre company, and she lives in a warehouse with the band !!! (pronounced tchk tchk tchk or pow pow pow).. anyways, it's nice to have you updating more again. I'll try and remember the names of some of the places I went (best indian food ever for $2 out of a convenience-store sized storefront, thriftstore with 10,000 records, hidden art galleries, etc.) and tell you about them. be there now!! (haha)
from raven72d :
NYC sounds like fun for you... Take a bus and go see The Cloisters in Ft. Tryon Park!!
from tcklyrpharsn :
love reading all your updates...road trips are just the fucking best. i'm jealous, even though i just got back from a trip of my own...keep on truckin.
from thatmarygirl :
ha, i don't know what was going through my head when i left you my last note. it looks scary. anyhow, what i meant was if you'd needed a place to crash in savannah, that number would have worked. so... yeah, i'm glad you made it out alive. the south. ha. oh yeah - happy birthday, kidface!
from rubycoquette :
Happy Birthday!!
from yaysarahj :
Portland is a better place for having known you. I would love your password so I can whisper your life to the Portland trees and the glowy mornings. [email protected] We miss you.
from rubycoquette :
Dude, I traveled that same route. Don't trust campgrounds in New Mexico that say they're camps with lakes. I have a total nuclear meltdown at one of those. It was just dry cracked creepy earth, with little sharp, spiny plants that said "step on me with bare feet, I dare you".Trees that in a nother life time must have been totally tirans, adn this is there karmic punishment. Then theres the wind, Which will flip a tent faster than, well, really realyl fast. The bathroom was broken, I ran out barefoot in the dark, it was eery and lasty, I saw no lake.
from thatmarygirl :
you'll be in georgia. 478-714-4877
from tcklyrpharsn :
can't say it better than tornadobird.
from tornadobird :
I'm back in sf. hope the south treats you well. you have my sincerest best wishes and love, minus judgement. I hope that's an equasion you can enjoy
from rubycoquette :
Cursive typewriter! Woah!!! Just remember, oakland can have some pretty nasty cops.
from tcklyrpharsn :
"the goal is to make it seem like positive time instead of negative time. i mean in how you define it. positive like there's something there, instead of negative like something's not there. defining things by what you have rather than by what's missing." yes. (i've been catching up...)
from tcklyrpharsn :
i'm slow on the uptake...just found you again after wondering where you went. password a possibility? if not i'll understand...and languish without your beautiful words. jeejeenAThotmail.com
from rubycoquette :
PC heros are clogging the arteries of our future. So I have decided. You inspire me.
from girlsdontcry :
Now I really really want to go to San Francisco -- have fun there. I hope you don't mind that I gave your password to unhappyboy -- I thought that you probably wouldn't. He's really very nice.
from tornadobird :
I just wrote a letter to a friend in new york saying I would be out there to see her this summer even if I had to go in a canoe made out of gum wrappers. you can borrow that canoe if you like. it's trusty.
from softblossoms :
o! i saw gabe at the guthrie last week. (i got romeo and juliet tickets for my birthday). he smiled and waved! such a charming young man. :)
from threeletters :
Summer doesn't usually begin in March here. Even all us deep bronzed Californians marvel at this weather. Enjoy it while you can!
from raven72d :
I love the image of the brass ring you wear around your neck.
from tornadobird :
wow. theres a new one. I have no memory of leaving you that last note. I was really wasted last night. drinking whiskey and climbing trees w/ savannah, and somehow wound up online before sleep.
from tornadobird :
smmooth colorized boundaries, half airbourne tress, band practice, arguments, air, smashing telepathy.
from jimbo9 :
Actually, you're not new to Seth. You're just relearning what you forgot in order to experience the joy of learning it again just like the first time. Heh. My pleasure to join the Seth diary ring! Thanks for the welcome note!
from chiv :
Hello. Just passing by to say it's nice that you write.. I think that I should like you. Yeah, there's no way to keep that from sounding tacky. Ho hum.
from threeletters :
Yeah, the crumbling white dusty city by sea. It was my home last year. I've promised it I'm gonna make it back soon. Currently, tho, I'm living almost an hour North, which would probably be inconvenient for crashing. But if you come back, you know my email....
from threeletters :
Hey, the SF Bay Area! Welcome to my corner (sliver?) of the country.
from softblossoms :
so glad that you're ok. over in the golden land. hey my co-worker lent me an incredible string band DVD! i haven't watched it yet, but it looks crazy mystical. i'm sending healing thoughts your way.
from rubycoquette :
if its not too much to ask, could I pardon you for the password? [email protected]
from delighted :
at the risk of sounding petulant:let me in!let me in! let me in! Password, please! it'[email protected]
from wateryone :
Wow. You met someone who is friends with Billy Bragg, who is maybe my favourite singer ever. He's a utopian, they played Woodie Guthrie songs together. That's so cool.
from delighted :
could I have the password [email protected]?
from softblossoms :
jesus becky. i would never presume to know what's best for you but as your friendster i must say: i am so so glad you're going to california. hang in there! it will be all right.
from softblossoms :
haha friendster! i'm going to add you. :)
from tornadobird :
I think the answer is c. you never said you were falling in love with someone else, just "the people in chicago." he was looking for something to use as a reason to explain his distance, and the fact that he chose such a shoddy excuse is also telling.
from chiv :
Hello, how do? Why I am a little drunk yes, thank you. I think that I was going to say something about how that last update made me chuckle. I forget which part. Probably it related to Belinda. I did like how you jumped from the Manifesto to a return to The Party, mind. I believe that's all. Good day to you.
from wateryone :
I'm planning to send you lots of little pieces of New Zealand next week!
from wateryone :
I've decided you Chicago photos remind me of Nan Goldin... "My desire is to preserve the sense of people's lives, to endow them with the strength and beauty I see in them. I want the people in my pictures to stare back."
from wateryone :
Mmm, soup with red chard and collard greens, potatos, salad, and bread... a graduate student and heaps of books. Sounds good.
from rubycoquette :
many people in Montana do meth, that should be a deterant itself.
from bluephonic :
thanks. (also, i don't think the guestbook itself is password protected, so someone could have just saved the URL. if you want to be totally sure, get a new guestbook and link to it instead.)
from bluephonic :
Hey, uh ... can I have a password? Ditto for all the things the other people said. (Or at least can I have the password to your old diary again? I lost it and I want to go and look at some of the entries i never got to. [email protected] )
from softblossoms :
i think we have the same phone! mine's a samsung. i just got it for christmas and i'm obsessed with it. i'm going to try sending you a text message.
from tornadobird :
thanks for the mention. seeing my name in your diary filled in the last gap in what has been an overall lovely evening... (funny how my evenings last until 5 or 6 in the morning) radiant, radiant
from rubycoquette :
oh, how terribly sad. I so looked forward to reading your entry and now they're all gone and locked away.
from apparitional :
can i have a password? [[email protected]] (if not of course i understand)
from wateryone :
Kia Kaha. Stay tall. You'll be okay.
from delighted :
password please?
from nijmarye :
I was so sad to see your diary locked again! I hope things are okay with you. If I could have the new password, I would be so happy. If not, I understand. [email protected] mary
from wateryone :
meep. Can I join the list?
from chiv :
Hello hello.. if you should feel inclined to share with complete strangers the oft mentioned password then this- [email protected] should very much like to be one.. of those strangers. 's funny, that was English in my head.
from elgan :
Dear Becky: You are locked and I am bereft! Please may I have the password, please?
from tornadobird :
my incorrect clock says 4:44 I find much that is beautiful and glorious. Your picture of minneapolis-- the sun through the trees. I have a counterpart. I'll send it. Family sometimes misunderstands and that is painful. Aleleuijah.
from whatlight :
yeah, password for me too! [email protected]
from vesselland :
please - send me the password. diaryland without your entries wouldn´t be the same... [email protected]
from circusfreak :
yes, becky, please send me a password toooo. [email protected]
from wateryone :
My favourite Portland photo from your fanclub was the one of the sky on thanksgiving... those big grey clouds that look like they're bleeding at the edges into the sky... thank you
from tenable :
Heh. Actually, I didn't mention this in my entry, but men who are beautiful or brilliant (BOB) may achieve some level of success by being "persistent". I'm one of the few who actually likes being "stalked" by a man. A man who is BOB, of course.... BOB's can get away with pretty much anything, in my opinion. But the guys who write to me for advice are not BOB's...!
from cdghost :
enjoyed your words
from ktdream :
Very red layout but I like the photos in them! They look great.
from rubycoquette :
a halluncination eh,hmm and the plot thickens.
from tenable :
Oh, me, too. It seems that the ones who have enough balls to hit on me are the ones who have very little to lose, with no job, no home, and no education. Decent, brilliant, and beautiful men just like to stare and never take a chance....
from wateryone :
and even though I don't live in Portland and know -that- city, when I move through Dunedin... houses look different. I love my altered eyes.
from wateryone :
I just read Donna's diary entry (http://sythy.diaryland.com/030327_20.html) about the set of things that signify the way a person feels about the world... that are like you, but bigger than you, because they are the part of you that goes on forever. She was talking about how she met you, and your sets are the same, and how when she realised this, her world started to change, because it incorporated yours as well. Anyway, that long ramble explanation was to try and say that I understand your sets, yours and Donna's. I understand the trees and cats on the sidewalk and the bend of the river and highways and monkey puzzle trees and hidden paths and bay windows and the magic of forest cities. It sounds silly, but I feel like we are sisters in place.
from tornadobird :
Reed gives me THE FEAR too. I came closer to nervous breakdown there than anywhere else. Pressure cooker. But I love visiting it now that I don't go there anymore. Anyone for Renn Fayre 2004?
from wateryone :
Oh! I know exactly what you mean about Sigur Ros and light through frozen waterfalls. I can't wait to see the pictures.
from rubycoquette :
Do you know of any other universities/colleges that have similar dispositions as Reed in the Northwest? Reed seemed rad, but it's so very in Portland.
from apparitional :
thank you! i've actually been reading your diary for a little while (also through the beckett ring), but haven't left a note before since i can never think of anything to say, and also a lack of internet access. but it's wonderful.
from vesselland :
thanx for leaving me the password for bicyclelove.
from rubycoquette :
I guess I'm not doing that super. Loosing friends due to bad habbits it's never a jolly thing. But thank you for putting in a good word.
from rubycoquette :
Lincoln to me was just crazy because of all the social situations with the school. The community just wasn't strong or as open minded as I woudl have hoped.
from softblossoms :
i'm busy during the day on sat, but evening? also i'm not really near a computer (just at school for a few minutes right now). i'll e-mail you my cell phone number. if not today, we should have coffee sometime soon certainly!
from rubycoquette :
Woah, you went to Lincoln.. crazy place. Oh, and interesting article about Smith. http://www.chartattack.com/damn/2004/01/0206.cfm
from thatmarygirl :
you inspired me to make my own 100 things list.
from tornadobird :
I too have a weakness for the cigarette flavored kiss... though I don't smoke
from thatmarygirl :
if your diary were a book, my copy would resemble your tropic of cancer.
from sliverqueen :
I always said I would shovel elephant dung to learn how to fly on the trapeze. And make a photo documentary about the journey. I'd love the password to your old diary, if you wouldn't mind offering it. My email: [email protected] (I found your diary via the Anne Carson diaryring. Have you read The Glass Essay"?)
from threeletters :
We're in d-land at the same time, and that's my favorite White Stripes song, so i tried to wave across the plumes of all the diaries. Yours is still very good and i'm happy that i get to read it.
from softblossoms :
he *does* owe you an explanation, as well as an apology. i'm sorry you're suffering. p.s. at my work we're going to be carrying a book called "bicycle love: stories of passion, joy, and sweat" !!! funny.
from valkang :
Hey. Thanks for your note. I am still very angry and traumatized, but your note did help take off the edge a little bit. Boys are ghastly, aren't they...and perhaps girls even more so for wanting them....
from raven72d :
Do you ever listen to Joan Osborne sing "St. Teresa" in your head and walk through winter mornings?
from vesselland :
can you please send me the password to your old diary? [email protected]
from tornadobird :
I'll be here, on the west coast, when you got back. arr. hangover. alcohol is stupid. woke up with a pounding head, a gap in memory and a phone # scrawled on my arm in sharpie!!
from tornadobird :
Waukegan is a bit creepy... I used to go there every year, to visit grandparents... my grandmother still lives there, along with a couple of aunts. My experience of the place is pretty limited, though, mostly just family gatherings, barbecues, backyard games of bocce ball and humidity. Sorry to hear about how everything is.. would like to offer some consolation if I could... but how much can really travel through these phone lines? sometimes I think everything... My Chicago grandmother is here right now. I'm on my way to a party pretty soon. Have you left Chicago for good? are you coming back to Portland? We should hang out and take some interesting drugs sometime. (I'm in a k kind of mood these days)
from rubycoquette :
what if teh tree comes out to just look like an arrow on yoour arm?
from gelert :
I shouldn't expect that you're requiring of votes of confidence from the likes of me, but this boy-whom-you-could-bankrupt-in-minutes still finds you and yr diary terribly interesting. Eh, I suppose that's that.
from scarydoll :
How lucky was that? (Your friend didn't get arrested.) You sound like you are doing well in your new city.
from valkang :
Hi. I found you through the Pynchon ring...and must say that I really enjoyed your entries. I've added you to my list of favorites. Take care.
from tornadobird :
Waukegan is my dads hometown. Also mentioned in a tom waits song, on rain dogs, gun street girl is the song.. "left waukegan with a slammin' of the door.." also ray bradbury is from there, and his story "dandelion wine" features a park in waukegan. and thus concludes waukegan trivia hour.
from scarydoll :
We are all walking graveyards you know. Remnants of other people's lives. I think its beautiful.
from rubycoquette :
You and I both adore Portland, and I too was thinking about heading east to the land of Illinois for schooling. What are the major adjustments you would recomend? Oh and do you know anything about Knox college or Galesburg?
from rubycoquette :
Would I be imposing if I asked for the recipe of this magical tea?
from tokyo69 :
hi becky. thanks for keeping me on. i like to stay uptodate with you. can i still read bicycle?
from wateryone :
What exactly -is- in Sam's magic tea. Is it a secret? I love home-made herbal tea blends. It's so much more fun than cooking.
from tornadobird :
sign me up
from vesselland :
wow - an amazing diary. i just came across and read through a little. put you on my fav list as well...
from wateryone :
Thankyou so much for the photos. They have such a halcyon quality to them. They make me homesick, even though I've never been to Oregon or California.
from softblossoms :
oh but i want to add that i agree with you that actions aren’t universal ..... instincts/action/meaning would have to be individualistic..... but origination, perhaps, is the same.
from softblossoms :
oof, instincts. i think humans are far too cerebral to have very good instincts, or to understand them well. and for that reason maybe our instincts are manifested mostly in what we DO, rather than what we think, or feel. for example sometimes every part of me wants to do one thing, but for reasons i don’t understand or even know of, i do something else entirely. ???
from boombasticat :
Command: Don't forget. You're a beautiful person.
from bluephonic :
*right-clicks celebratorily* I like your new tree picture, by the way.
from threeletters :
Hi Becky. I went to see Brian Eno speak in San Francisco last weekend and was certain i saw Donna or a girl with a similar soul sitting in front of me. It was a very distinct feeling, although all I know of her is what i've read in your diary. i thought i'd tell you. -jess
from softblossoms :
hey becky, i like your new “red” self! oh my god. the 24hr waiting period is so insulting. well you seem like you’re doing fine, but i must say: you are right to trust your instincts. stay brave! (surely you will be ok :)
from red-river :
hello, self.

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