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I love your most recent entry on stumbleine. I've been feeling... today... the exact way you're feeling! Life is fucked up, people are fucked up, I'm fucked up, but... there's hope, like the sky through the black gnarled trees. It sounds like you're falling in love with someone... I'm not, but, I think for the first time in my life I may be learning to fall in love with myself. To have faith (I know you may not like that word). Hell, speaking of being turned on, I masturbated for the first time in so long last night... I didn't know I even still had sexual feelings in side me! Sorry if that was too much information. But anyway, no matter how hard it gets, please remember that you rock, and that even if there are no happy endings, there will always be happy moments, at least from time to time.

from foxinsnow :

what is the url to your blog that you had a link to here up until recently? If you don't want to leave it in my notes you can email it to me at [email protected]

from masca :

Still wishing you the best ♥

from ravynespeaks :

Just want to wish you a very Happy New Year. May 2005 be your best year ever!

from pink-circle :

{Circle Invite} On behalf of the circle, I would like to invite you the our writer's group. We are in the middle of a reform, to rebuild our group. I have noticed your displayed interest in poetry &/or writing, please visit our site. If you're interested, leave a note to this account. -Circle Council

from iamhubpluh :

If you are voting AGAINST Bush, check out http://BADNARIK.com he is for 100% EQUALITY right for the Gay/Lesbian community as well as for stoping the war in Iraq, and NOT sending more troops as Kerry is for (based on his debate answers). Vote your heart, not the less of two evils!

from insane-whore :

I hope you stay safe and can be truly happy ♥ My thoughts are with you always *Hugs*

from pallorpallet :

I love you, and I hope you don't leave, but I get it at the same time. :) I'm going through serious erin withdrawl! But I get paid in two weeks and I'd like to come down and visit!! and we can do some e! maybe?! k well, I'll post an entry sometme tomorrow.

from foxinsnow :

As much as I don't want you to leave diaryland, I understand what you mean about everyone you know having your diaryland URL and you feel inhibited about posting certain things. The way I resolve that is to just post a private entry. But sometimes that feels unsatisfying if I want diaryland members to read it, just not the people in my life who have my URL. If you don't mind my asking, what is your lj URL? You don't have to answer that question if you don't want to.

from velvetclash :

alright!! thanks for the note, i'm so glad you are back! <3 don't ever leave!! <3

from foxinsnow :

Thank you for your note. Please don't ever stop shebreathes, it's my favorite diary on Diaryland!

from foxinsnow :

I figured out why I like your writing so much. It's because you write beautifully about ugly things. Peace.

from velvetclash :

you're leaving?! *sad face*

from velvetclash :

would it be cool if i added you to my favorites?

from foxinsnow :

Oh, nevermind, my bad, I just had to scroll down. silly old me! :) I'm really honored to be on your favorite diaries list.

from foxinsnow :

I'm leaving you a note here instead of in your guestbook because when I submitted it to your guestbook, it didn't work. Just FYI. Anyway, I love your new template (I have a secret crush on Courtney Love), but why'd you take away the pic "seeing god" from your "as a kite" series? That was my favorite one!

from atwowaydream :

I know too few people understand how devastating an animal's death can be. Sometimes, it's just if not more emotional than when someone you know passes away; animals know our secrets, hear us complain randomly, are there for us wide-eyed and unconditionally no matter what. I'm sorry you lost buttons, I can tell he meant so much to you. But as someone who's lost an animal, I also know that any random "sorry" just doesn't feel good enough. . . but think, he probably had a better, more full life than most goats who are ten years older than he was. He had love. That doesn't always happen.

from muse8h :

such pretty words ♥

from m6twenty3 :

hello, this is Aly... at halo-x-choke... I have a new diary. just so you know, I have added you onto my new diary's buddy list. good day.

from hysteria-x- :

kool diary!

from atwowaydream :

In the midst of saying things, sometimes I forget to say other things: your words are fierce and rapid, pinpricks of breath.

from lady-crystal :

You write very powerfully Erin. I came across your diary whilst browsing and I've spent a while reading entries at random - and I feel as though I've come across an oasis in a desert. I will be returning, I promise. Crystal. xxx

from atwowaydream :

Well who wants to hear that what they feel is understood? I mean, I feel so cliche to say, "yes, darling, I know that darkness" because maybe that would be presumptuous. What I will say is that you have survived so much, so many people and struggles, it has prepared you to survive your mind. Some people never have that fight mode, in you, it is already instilled.

from icomeundone :

Hello darling. Much thanks for the note. Sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. The comment I made was all true of course. Hope to keep in touch with you more and more. You're a shining star for sure! ♥ ♥ ♥

from pallorpallet :

psst...psst... you're amazing! I have a crush on you.

from deadrosescry :

hi. first of all you're gorgeous... wish i knew how to look that good... anyway i saw your livejournal entry... southampton in VA? cuz i live close to there and i know someone named seth... just curious... i <3 your diary and i hope i didn't freak you out.

from anti-lies :

You're welcome to speak your mind here ♥ Lets help the truth be heard

from pallorpallet :

I think people should speak out too!! you're brilliant :} I don't know why people are dick heads....they just are. It seems to be a circulating epidemic. those people were being cocks!(literally, they are both men)

from baby-bebop :

you are such an awesome writer! your diary is the best i've read here at dland so far. it's honest and beautiful. may i add you to my favorites?

from dalyrical1 :

you know what i see. i have to save you as a fave. i hope you dont mind. your writing is absolutly exquisite.

from speak-out :

Hi SheBreathes! I've been revising Speak-Out and I'd love if you'd stop by. Take care. ~ Inkdragon

from atwowaydream :

I know how it is to regress to old methods and old dyfunctions, sometimes it just feels safer to be something you're already familiar with than to become something unexpected. You still have the drive, and even if you swerve sometimes, I think you have the strength and ambition to find the horizon again.

from pallorpallet :

woot! you finished your third zine! thats awsome. I would like one... indeed. Usually the things you want and need the ones are the ones your most scared of thats so true.

from hatexbreathe :

Hey I was just wondering if it was possible for me to get those two zines you mentioned, because I'm interested.

from atwowaydream :

Sometimes it does seem like not having a compass is the only way to get to the places you need to be. It's kind of weird, how being lost makes some. . .ready to just snap one day and tear some barriers down.

from glassboxgurl :

Maybe you should make yourself a map of all the places you'd LIKE to go and start from there.

from raven72d :

I just found your diary... You have so much to say that I identify with... And you have so much strength... And so much intelligence and depth in those eyes...

from atwowaydream :

It's frightening how they take not only our security from us, but our breath and our hope. You're right, it's like a death-- it seems abysmal, there's no going back to before. You still write and you still live and you still breathe, so exhale slowly, because that's strength.

from glassboxgurl :

I don't think I remember the first time that I died. I think my uncle does though. He said maybe at as young as three. I only remember 9-10. Maybe thats a good thing.

from for-you-only :

Glad you like my diary. :)

from sleepingstar :

i just wanted to say i love your writing because your words are real and you are amazing. <33

from glassboxgurl :

thanks. let's just hope that I nail him, right?

from pallorpallet :

I'm glad we're friends too. And we do have lots in common. Yeah, action grlz! we should pump out zines so fast that people wont know what hit them!

from glassboxgurl :

hey, yeah I was SO upset that I couldn't get down there for the parade(either one) but stuff came up and prevented me from doing it. my email is [email protected]. Even if I dont show up here for a few days I'm usually checking my email every day.

from heartshaped :

hey love. sorry about the late reply but. i was actually reading 'fall on your knees' when you left me that note. and i thought that it was absolutely beautiful. got anything else for me? <3

from pallorpallet :

your idea for an apartement sounds pretty fuckin cool. I'd do it. If I had money. I'm working on doing something similar myself.

from pallorpallet :

oh I forgot to ask you? is anyone coming with you to the brunch aside from me? casey? or one of your other female friends?? e-mail me and let me know or leave it a surprise. Either way. Your diary rocks my world! :}

from pallorpallet :

hye gorgeous lady! Can I tell you seriously how psyched I am for pride! yeah, this much!!! maybe more. Your writting reminds me sometimes of what I'm saying in my head.

from atwowaydream :

I know I don't really know you, but I know that exquisite sort of pain that you know so well, too. Be careful, it wears so many disguises, and it can be so damn tricky to not fall into. You seem so strong and determined now, and if anything, your struggles and your hardships, they've given you an armor. Maybe even wings.

from dangelic :

hey, mind if i add you? <3 dangelic

from glassboxgurl :

thank you! hey I really want to see you, what are you doing for pride? my mother is trying to ship me off to montreal so I cant go *rolls eyes* I'll bloddy well come back on a bus if I have to.

from glassboxgurl :

erin, i picked up a copy of yap at a gay pride meeting on monday. all your stuff is fucking awsome. I showed it around and everyone especially likes "playing femme". I like all of what you did. I also really like the hand drawn picture ;) email me will you?

from downwithigby :

I found your diary and I don't even know what to say, you are awesome! I hope you don't mind, I added you to my favorites list.

from heartshaped :

hey.

from atwowaydream :

Pretty words, pretty contradictions. I like your complexity, it seems endless in the most luscious way.

from pallorpallet :

hrm, your fan club seems to be growing! ;) Well it's decided then, calling you tommorw, being your friend and we'll turn the world around! woohooo! and yes damn it, you get a gold star!

from kisstiara :

Oh, you are beautiful. Fantastic taste. :) I like your diary. Pretty <3

from ifeelhatred :

alright. swell then ^_^

from ifeelhatred :

words are only words until someone breathes life into them like you. your words are like poetry. they are beautiful to me. can i add you as my favorite,doll?

from insanewindow :

I'm likin' your spunk....or your insanity.... whatever suits you best. I filled out a survey by you and so I figured I'd drop you a note.

from glitteradore :

she asks me, "do you masterbate in the shower" all eyes are on me i reply..."i dotn shower"

from pallorpallet :

Hey...All I have to say is that it fucking amazes me how much power comes out of you. How much strenght, how many words and acts of resistence. It really fucking blows my mind. It's true what you said about how just because someone is similar and understands similar things doesn't mean they understand you. whoa....and liars! fuck That I do understand and I know because I was lied to and I know because I've lied...You've said the epitomy of what I couldn't say and what's been in my head for a long time.

from gloryxxfades :

hey♥

from glitteradore :

little bird carcasses floating around in my purse go to bed.

from margot08 :

then thank you for the compliment. your writing is so beautiful. :) ~margot

from chaosreverie :

used to be bleakreverie...

from margot08 :

um...are you serious about my poem? i think its horrible, i just went back and read it. are you talking about the one about my best friend, or the one before that? anyways, thanks, but i really dont think so. unless you were being sarcastic, then i agree. ~margot

from mess-age :

Hi Erin! I read your diary and love your writing. I could copy lots and lots of your words and paste it on my blog. About the guy.. I had such toxic relationship too. He used me as much as I let him to, then he dumped me. He was pissing on me for most of the time. I know I deserve soooo much more, but I still miss him and feel bad. I am not going to give you any advice here. I just want to twell you you deserve the best. I wish you to meet other guy, who will love you the right way and appreciate how amazing you are. You are!!! I know it's easy to say "forget about him, he's not good". I just want you to know there's someone out there wishing you well. lotsa <32 you special grrrl, joanna ps. sorry if my english is not correct, I'm foregin:)

from margot08 :

i just wanted to let you know, that i'm fascinated with your writing. dont worry, i'm stalkerish/obsessed..i just think that you are an amazing writer.

from glitteradore :

i heart you erin.

from halo-x-choke :

ack. don't die. ever.

from psychodyke :

i climbed up on a rainbow just to see if i'd fall off... i didn't. still clinging... talons digging into the ribbons.

from sexmo :

hey... i didnt know you knew tegan and sara!

from sexmo :

hey babe... Just wanted to tell you that i finally got the new ani cd!! you are SO right, it DOES make me want to die because it is SO GOOD!! (thanks for the advice :P :D)

from ayden :

you've learned how to smoke pot!!! i've smoked way too much this week. (but i quit smoking cigarettes, so...)

from emo-panda :

i've been reading your diary for a few days and i just wanted to say you are an amazing writer. your words are like, wow! i'm adding you to my favorites list if you don't mind. take care... emo-panda

from amber-darko :

Hi! My name's Amber and I'm 23. I am writing a book about my personal account of self hate and self harm. I'd like to include some personal stories from different stages in healing, different sexes and different ages to show that no one is the same, but we all are hurting in ways that we are unable to convey. I do not intend on printing names, there is no length restriction and I will not censor. I have decided to also include poetry or just general opinions. Please email me if you are interested. [email protected]

from ayden :

thanx:)

from cherryfire :

you are abseloutely amazing. your words take my breath away with every letter. gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. <333 [i am adding you to my favorites].

from sexmo :

just wanted to let you know that i admire your writing and appreciate your words. you blow me away...

from snobxcore :

eating kicks ass.

from dombilly :

hey! your diary is great, hun! the self-harm entry/extra is good, thankyou. hehe great pictures keep the diary going

from foxinsnow :

I LOOOOOVE your diary! It's right up my alley. thank you so much for leaving me a note!

from darkmetal182 :

hey whats up? anyways i thought i would leave a note, nice peircings by the way. =D well im iris and nice to meet you =P

from bleakreverie :

i <3 you more!

from bleakreverie :

username shebreathes password chance04

from his-wallaby :

You asked where I went...thanks for caring! I'm at http://livejournal.com/users/klytemnestra

from tishbite :

Hey, I just noticed on you profile that you're Pagan. Cool.

from complexlogic :

I love the movie Get Real. Wonderful. Take care.

from glassboxgurl :

I figure he'll understand. He's bi, right, and I know that if he ever wanted to stop the relationship to persue something with someone else of the male gender, or female, for that matter, I'd understand. I don't want to have like, the same lover/partner for half my high school years. I want to be able to explore, have fun, not be tied down by anyone. I'm just grieved by the fact that I know how much he likes me, and I still want to be friends with him because he's such a great guy... *sigh* but I know what I have to do. <3

from glassboxgurl :

I know, I know. He'd prefer truth to lies. But I'm just afraid of how he's going to react when he finds out WHY I'm breaking up with him. I don't want him to feel used, or like I was just jerking him around.

from glassboxgurl :

thanks for the imput. you're one of the only people who ever bothers to reply when I ask for help. You wouldn't happen to be able to help me work out a way to break up with my boyfriend, given my current situation, would you? <3 glassboxgurl

from her-noise :

hey, thanks for the note. yeah, some days i hate ethan, but other times i find that i still have feelings for him. and i hate it so much. i'm glad you like my diary, i love yours too. you are such a great writer. take care <3

from her-noise :

hi, i found your diary through another diary link. you are a really good writer! *happy birthday* <3

from godxisxdead :

Happy birthday!! :D [ T a r a ]

from heartfuck :

happy birthday beautiful!! <3

from sephiragrace :

thank you. as is yours, dear. <3

from whyme321 :

Happy day before your birthday!!!!!!!

from sephiragrace :

i read your most recent entry. and right now it feels like im going through something similiar with someone i am close to. <3

from heartshaped :

it's been a while. happy holidays and all of the good things.

from blood-star :

merry christmas!

from heartfuck :

merry christmas! youre so beautiful. i loved your "christmas eve rant". and i hope you finally get out into the world like you want. much love <3

from cutie1083 :

Happy Holidays!

from london--rain :

i love the way you love yourself. i wish i could be like that. xoxo.

from halo-x-choke :

you look/seem waaaay older than almost 17.

from godxisxdead :

I've looked around you're journal a bit, and I think you're really pretty. :) I'm gonna read a little more now, hehe. [ T a r a ]

from darkpoison :

neat, long, deep diary. nice.

from blood-star :

thank you for the note!

from blood-star :

hey, i stumbled across your diary. you are an amazing writer.

from raiznhead :

I'll be your friend! My name is Audrey, or raiznhead... If ya wanna read my diary it's raiznhead.diaryland.com. I have MSN: smile_God_luvs [email protected] so jes add me if ya wanna talk. I'm grounded for the rest of the week lol but I'll be on then. Or if you want to email me it's [email protected]. Hope to hear from you soon!!!