messages to stellarrobot:
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from annanotbob2 :
Haha - I thought for a moment I'd get thin as I had that nervous knotted up belly during the day she died but next morning me and her brother and sister went down the caff for big plates of fry up - full English all round - and I haven't stopped since. I'm glad you're back - I can't remember if you're a Brit or not but I expect you know what a full English is. Take care of yourself too - yoga has saved my life - so far at any rate. Big hugs xxx
from annanotbob2 :
Thanks for your kind note xxxx
from annanotbob2 :
Thanks for your kind note xxxx
from cloudy-night :
I'm glad things are getting better and that you can type a bit. So you're still in pain? That really does suck, I truly hope you make a full recovery. And thanks, I'm doing my best on the whole education front. I'll be roughly 39 when I'm finished (God willing), going to make it hard to get into the tech field, but I'll do what I have to do. Please feel better.
from annanotbob2 :
Fuck them all, the bastards. Glad you can type a bit, sending big hugs and wishes for less pain. I hate people who do this, recommend alternative cures, but I'm going to do it anyway, because I know it's helped loads of people with pain - golden paste? ie turmeric, oil and pepper. xx
from cloudy-night :
I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing such pain. I hope that things aren't as horrible as you think they are. I never google anything when concerns health. Trying to diagnose any symptoms you may have on the internet is kind of like a death sentence. I hope that you won't have to wait a year and that you can be seen and diagnosed quickly.
from annanotbob2 :
Thanks - I deleted you a while back in a purge of people I thought had given up blogging but I'm glad to see you back, though sorry you're in pain. Best wishes for a solution x
from cloudy-night :
That is the problem with today's youth, they just don't give a flying fuck. It is great to see you're back, even if it is for a short time.
from cloudy-night :
I came across many different feminist types in my day. The Betty Friedan, the Belle Hooks, the Susan B. Anthony, etc. etc. It just seems that someone adopts a view of what it means without looking at all aspects. I won't get into my views of it, since you were just ranting. But I agreed with everything you said and it seems you are colorful as ever. I've missed you. Good to see you posting again!
from rumblelizard :
That was a righteous fucking rant. Susan Sarandon, come on down with your lavish plate of dicks! Ba ha ha ha!
from cloudy-night :
I SERIOUSLY MISS YOU!!!
from cloudy-night :
I SERIOUSLY
from ping-island :
i just read your note and i found it very sweet! so um thanks and stuff. i know it was a while ago when you wrote it, but i hope you are feeling less anxious now.
from cybers1ut :
No really, I wanna know! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-5EwdEEN24
from cloudy-night :
I guess I haven't read your entries closely enough, never would have imagined you were shy. That makes you seem cooler. You have such a magnetic personality, so I'm pretty sure that you don't need a crowbar to open your world up. With a smile - it will crash open. No need to imagine, you have everything you need. I'm happy that you're happy. :D
from annanotbob2 :
Big hugs, darling. From one toy-cuddler to another xxx
from ping-island :
i believe the key is forgetting everything you know about social cues, and the rest follows from there. people might insist on hitting on you for a while but just keep being oblivious when people are subtle and upset when people are obvious and they'll learn! then just pick up a dorky and obscure hobby and you're golden. you're welcome!
from integrating :
Thanks for the comment. Not quite there yet. lol
from cloudy-night :
Some people just have a hard time expressing their feelings in relation to death. I do find it hard to believe that any friend of yours would be an ass during such a difficult time. But those are the breaks - I guess. Forgive me if that part seemed harsh. I hope everything is going well. I bet your hair rocks! Oh and it's not insane to talk to your father, I mean he still exist - just on a higher plane. I still talk to my friend and he died years ago, but it's something comforting about it. It's like I know what he would say after most of the statements I make. Do you feel like that?
from rumblelizard :
Stella, you don't know me from Eve, but I am really sorry for your loss.
from acornotravez :
Here here to tree-lined street walking in the morning.
from cloudy-night :
I truly hope that you will be okay. I'm at a loss for words, but I truly hope that you'll be okay.
from acornotravez :
Ugh, family. OR you could tell them you have sex with Jesus. That would fuck em up even more! You're welcome. =]
from annanotbob2 :
So sorry for your loss, darling Stella. Big hugs and best wishes for 2012. ps I'm at a new diary now, annanotbob2, where I'm trying to be more discreet about other people's lives xxx
from cloudy-night :
I'm sorry for you loss. Damn, that's effed up. May his soul be blessed.
from acornotravez :
Hey man, sorry about your dad. That sucks. =[
from cloudy-night :
Damn, women have it hard. Periods, child-birth, menopause - it all seems to be a bitch! I hope that you're feeling better and if you ever need of punching a guy for no good reason, give me a call. The face, the stomach, your choice. I always laugh at those tampon commercials. They always show women dancing in the clubs or singing at a karaoke bar or hang gliding or something wild. I was about ten or eleven when I learned the difference between a tampon and a pad ( all thanks to my mama and sister sending me to the store to retrieve them) - um where was I going? Kind of forgot ( :P ). Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS & a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
from the-grey-one :
a shaman once told me that during a woman's 'moon time' the emotional body is more activated than usual. much of what we feel is a months worth of stored emotional/mental pain.
from ping-island :
i'll probably be asking you for help! i hear a lot that sociology is 'soft', and i think it's because sociology, like psychology and business and some other stuff, is something that people who don't have any particular interests end up majoring in. i actually had that problem in soc 101 last year - i was the only soc major in the class and the only person with any actual interest in the subject. i'm excited to start doing gender studies classes just because i don't think anyone would take them unless they had an interest.
from ping-island :
heheh thanks! i feel pretty hardcore. except not really, i pretty much just giggled my way through jail. although it is nice to know that i'm capable of doing something like that when something means a lot to me! also: are you a sociology major also? because if so i have questions!!
from cloudy-night :
Why did you go through all the trouble of bleaching it? Was it really that noticeable? Hope the burn heals.
from cloudy-night :
I like "She's All That", it wasn't a life changing film or anything, but it was good. Glad to see you're on that "Champagne Supernova" shit - hee hee :P Really glad that you're enjoying your break and you don't seem to give yourself enough credit. Seems like you have things figured out, I really love how you seem comfortable in your own skin. And yet, you still seem to question things, really cool. Oh yeah, a lacto-ovo vegetarian is someone who doesn't eat meat or poultry but still consumes dairy and egg products. Also, I'm glad to have helped you solved your mystery. Chances are, he may like you and if he's anything like me. A woman he finds extremely beautiful bugs the hell out of him.
from cloudy-night :
I'm happy to hear that you have some time to relax. Sit back, relax, and roll up a fat one - just make sure it isn't laced. :)
from the-grey-one :
instead of indulging in a panic attack tonight, i have been perusing and loving your diary. to an almost ridiculous amount.
from annanotbob :
Hello - your hair sounds fabulous. Hope you are well and past the hangover now. I locked my diary as someone local had read loads and I'm not very discreet about my kids' lives. If you're still reading I'll send you the p/w. Love and best wishes xxx
from cloudy-night :
You're my kind of gal. Smoking, drinking, strumming the bass. You're like Cortney Love...zing! Anyway don't slack off or no ice cream for you!
from cloudy-night :
tsk tsk tsk. Avoiding the book are you? So I guess you won't be getting any ice cream! You know, when I was in school, I never studied. I waited last minute to do it because all I wanted to do was listen to music, play video games, do some light reading or sleep. Look were it has gotten me. Do what you have to do, I know it's hard to concentrate, but maybe if you give yourself a reward as an incentive, it will work. Also, studying at the library or something is better because there aren't a lot of distractions. Do your best!
from cloudy-night :
If it matters at all, I like you! I think you're effin awesome! But you know the axiom, "not everyone in the world will like you." That's just the way it is. But that was uncool of that person to express his feelings about you so publicly and right in your face like that. But I won't lie to you, I play the role of a guy who doesn't give a fuck, but I want everyone to like me too. Well, not like - I just want to be seen and accepted for my differences and that's it. I don't really care if I'm liked or not. Anyhow, just keep doing you and I'll cut that noose. :D
from cloudy-night :
Wow, that's an interesting dance. I'm pretty sure it will catch on with the masses. It's hard for people to see past their own fears and thanks to years of being taught to fear certain things, that fear manifested into hatred. Things will definitely change and people can be jerks, but they can't be blame fully, just partly. Cheer up, things are changing for the better!
from ping-island :
thank you!! yeah that's my real voice, such as it is. :/ i sound like a 9 year old with a cold! i didn't even realize it, until i made that recording and listened to it, and then i was like, oh wow, is that why people don't take me seriously?? haha.
from fangbanger :
ring ring...
from fangbanger :
It makes me happy when you update.
from annanotbob :
You are doing great. The hardest thing is to be proud of small achievements when you feel you should be capable of more, but you are a star. I took a photo of my hairy chin but haven't quite had the nerve to post it. Are you on facebook? I could sneak it to you to either a)make you laugh or b)make you despair at what your future holds. I'm trying to live with it and not pluck it. Maybe dye it blue, like Billy Connolly xxx
from raygirl999 :
Thanks for the note. And just know you are not alone in the freak-hair world. I am 30 and I feel like I have lost control of my stupid face hormones.
from annanotbob :
Aw thanks Stella! I only knew knit and purl till I discovered everything else is just them in different orders. http://www.knittingonthenet.com xxx
from acornotravez :
Bath yoga sounds fucking AWESOME.
from cloudy-night :
I'm sorry that your job sucks and you have to quit. Sometimes we are placed in positions that test our patience and our character. At times, we are placed even place there to learn something that will greatly influence our future, I hope that you learned something. Not everyone in the world is kind as you, the world is filled with assholes, but compassion is something that we can give, even from a distance (hopes that makes sense). Also, right on for sticking it to the man! Don't look back!
from raygirl999 :
Haha thanks for the note. I see you like Anne Rice and I adore her so that makes me happy. And i figure if the sock wearing is mutual or agreed upon than it is A-OK. I hate one-sided sock wearing. I have very odd pet peeves.
from fangbanger :
I am also glad our affair has been reignited. There was a big black gaping hole in my heart and now it has been filled. And go you for quitting your job tomorrow! I want to quit mine and get a new one - but that's just boredom rather than ill treatment. Some boob massage would make you feel better.
from raygirl999 :
Well not to be morbid but you can call the local morgues, possible the newspaper as well. maybe the police station...? Sorry I hope everything is OK.
from fangbanger :
Haha, nice work indeed! Love it. One time I was having phone sex, I was naked on my bed with my vibrator. I thought I had locked my door. Then my flatmate walked in. Hahahahahaha. How embarassing. Not really the same thing... but that is what your entry reminded me of.
from ping-island :
in the movie he hardly ever wears a shirt. so you are basically correct.
from cloudy-night :
Sorry for the late response. My sister and a friend of hers got shot recently. It was an horrible experience for all involved. But she's okay and is healing up quite well. Welcome back to DLand, for a while I was starting to think you was a figment of my imagination. You know, like an unicorn or an elf or like the thousands of women who sit outside my door waiting for a glimpse of me. Oh wait, the last one is a figment of my imagination because I just recently seen an elf riding a unicorn and that's not the drugs talking. ;)
from cloudy-night :
Right on! You can't let those feelings linger on like that. Speak them, acknowledge them! I don't know how you're feeling, but I do know that I'm sorry that you feel that way. I don't want to ever hear that you are sad, I want you to be happy. I really hope that you and your sister can work things out, but if not, that's her fault, not yours. Let me tell you one thing, that bf of hers, give me an address and I'll talk to him about how to treat women and if that don't work, I'll just break his nose!!!
from ping-island :
if i have to go for it, then so do you! overly passive people solidarity (i mean, if that's okay with you, i don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, no really, it's okay, i don't mind)!
from ping-island :
I FEEL TERRIBLE NOW BECAUSE I MADE A GROWN LADY CRY, THANKS A LOT. and! also! i just now noticed you are into steinbeck. you are right, everyone should be! i did a tiny fistpump, when i saw that.
from cloudy-night :
Wow, so he never bothered to ask you any questions about your period? He didn't even think to prescribe anything? I'm sorry to hear how you were treated. We live in a world where guys ignore a womans vagina until they want some. I have four sisters and I although they never mention it, I can tell when they're going through "the cycle". It's hard, it's pain, and sometimes it leaves them feeling insecure. Hell, they even got to the point where they don't want me to buy their tampons or pads and I can understand that. Anyway, you should complain to someone about that. Or maybe you should go to a doctor whom would listen to you and try to get to the source of your problem. But that's what happens when you're broke, doctors tend not to give two fucks (sorry about the language) about your problems.
from svenhard :
doesn't oz have socialised healthcare ? flimsy doctors should be fucked off quick and keep changing them until you find a good one, we've met some shockers over the last few years, never again.
from annanotbob :
Does the acupuncture clinic have deals for poor people? Worth checking out - I've not known anyone have period problems sorted out with anything else, other than going on the pill, with dodgy results, or a hysterectomy - pretty fucking major. But acupuncture has made a big difference. Wishing you well, dear stella xx
from phaythles :
Awww thanks duckie! Belated or not...its all bout the warm n fuzzys...and I second u on the whole 'stupid ppl in glass jars'...when u figure out how to do so lemme kno...Ive got a few ppl who deserve the treatment...
from newschick :
ugh it's so annoying! the ONLY person i have ever said anything like that to was my childhood best friend, who SERIOUSLY looks IDENTICAL to sandra bullock. and who the hell would be upset about that? she loved it and i don't blame her! anyway i'm sure you don't look like the athlete, people are just lame! ;)
from ping-island :
thanks for the advice. a lot of people have been trying to give me advice but it's coming off as "I, as an ADULT, know more about you than you do, being a mere CHILD, and here is what you should do with your life:" and it's amazingly obnoxious, so i appreciate your not doing that. and you're right, now that i've gotten my diploma things do seem a lot easier.
from stellarrobot :
9th June 2010
from svenhard :
thanx miss for your kind words, it's nice that you took the time and we appreciate it. we're doing one day and night at a time, there is an end in sight (end of july) but it seems such a long way off, should get a prescription for morphine today so that may help ease the effects of the radio, radio sucks arse.
from alienamiss :
It kind of fucks me up in several parts of my mind. I have a severe fear of middle-aged men. I'm repulsed by men in general. I have this flickering idea that I need to become more man-like, but, the more I get exposed to men and their sexual wants, the more I want to distance myself from their lead.
from cloudy-night :
You sure do study hard, rock on! 100 pair and you still have thirty clean, get the eff out of here! Damn, you don't need to was any for about three months! I'm happy to hear that you have so many things to look forward to, even if some of those things aren't in the books right now! Makes me happy to hear that you're happy! Oh and be careful when it comes to sun bathing, some men would do a mission impossible to sneak a peek. Wouldn't you be flattered if your upstairs neighbor was suspended on a thin string to look at you? LOL, wild!
from ping-island :
i'm flattered! i made bunches of cupcakes today and thought of you. and yeah, you're right about the high school thing. funnily enough though, after all this fuss about my not graduating, it turns out i can get my diploma and i just have to do some tests and stuff online...but i feel almost obligated to not graduate, you know, to make the point and all...
from cybers1ut :
heroin, even
from cybers1ut :
High Art - Patricia Clarkson is a heroine addicted model german lesbian in a relationship with a heroine addictedm photographer played by Aly Sheedy.
from cloudy-night :
Hmmm, seems like you had a lot to say this time around. I can't really comment much on the issue. From time to time, I joke with my sisters about how they will never get a man if they don't know how to cook or if they never clean. But I don't honestly believe that shit, it's just a way to get under their skin. Society place all these stigma and standards up everyone. What the media calls "juggling" is just something my mama would refer to as Tuesday. Sure men get the short end of the stick when it comes to "juggling" work and family life, but sometimes it's with good reason. I won't go much into it b/c it would take me all day. As far as the hair straightening, I never gave it much notice. I will say this, a lot of women are probably following that writer to a T.
from cloudy-night :
I think Geena is hot too. Hell, she was damn sexy in A Long Kiss Goodnight and very sweet and classy in A League of Their Own. What I don't understand is, how come I didn't make the cut? Am I hot or what, I'm like sun. You touch me and it's painful agony. I'm sad because I wasn't included, but I won't hold it against you or maybe I will. You can't hear me, but I impersonated Peter Griffin while I wrote that.
from cybers1ut :
The only time I ever found Patricia Clarkson attractive was in High Art. Also the only time I ever found Radha Mitchel attractive, as it were.
from alienamiss :
Man; if I drank that much chai.. I'd never sleep again.
from annanotbob :
Sending you big hugs and wishing you lots of giggles and happy happy joy joy. Never feel guilty for being irritated by wankers - hell, if we were accountable for the thoughts in our heads we'd all be in the shit. xxx
from alienamiss :
I'm sticking with white and chai lately. Bought some shit called Bengal -- it tastes cool, but, it's a strong fucking tea.
from cloudy-night :
I hope you feel better. I know you're probably behind on your school work and all, but I'm pretty sure an email from you doctors will clear it up. If you want, I can do a little get well dance from you. Maybe a tango, two-step, waltz thing. But I'm praying you're back to your old self in no time. Just rest, eat well, and make sure you drink plenty of liquids. Don't go yelling at your room-mate for being messy, just take care of yourself for now. Oh and whatever you do, make sure you wash your hands frequently, some people forget to do that after blowing their noses and such. Lol, I sound like someone's parent, sorry for the lecture, but still do as I say or you'll be sorry when I take your toys and gizmos away!
from cybers1ut :
One of my six roommates picks his nose constantly and unabashedly. I find it revolting, and feel that he should hide in the shadows racked with shame for doing it. Keep those behaviours to the confines of locked bedrooms. Another of my roommates feels the necessity to do hand stands in the house every day, multiple times a day. Well, one day his flip flop took an aerial shot and ended up on my dinner plate. He then went on to bitch about the quality of his shoes... not his inappropriate in-door handstands. Another roommate leaves all of her shit around the house then bitches about everyone leaving their possessions in shared spaces. She will even go so far as to enter your private bedroom to "put your things away" while her shit is sitting out in the open, unabashedly, like that one guy's boogers. In short, learn to take the good with the bad... or some shit like that. I dunno.
from rumblelizard :
Like good ol' Sartre said, "l'enfer, c'est les autres." That's French for "Hell is living with fuckin' roommates." Before I met and married The Person Who Suits Me Fine, I found that I was never truly happy unless I was living alone. It might be worthwhile to try and find a single apartment that you can afford on your own. Hope you feel better soon, chica.
from svenhard :
you are without a doubt a towering, sweary beauty of the modern world, more power to the fractions of society, for there in the corners, there you shall see the truth of the matter
from cloudy-night :
Wow is all I can say. You have a unique taste and it's hard to find anyone who would be open about such things, except men in Europe. Hmmm, hope you find someone who can fulfill your appetite, bon appetite! :D
from alienamiss :
Oh baby.
from cybers1ut :
http://www.logotv.com/shows/rupauls_drag_race/season_1/series.jhtml
from cybers1ut :
P.S. You can't have her. P.P.S. I've actually met her, so nyah nyah nyah.
from cybers1ut :
Vibes as a gift? Bah, I'm an anti-hero, and have no idea how to use such gifts. Couldn't I get x-ray vision or the ability to make people spontaneously shit themselves?
from cybers1ut :
Erika Norell is my t-queen drag goddess: http://ftltea.podbean.com/2008/11/25/erika-norell-american-boy/
from giggleshit :
Pppsssh, whatever man, you were already on my list of people to chopper out. <3
from stellarrobot :
08.04.10 I've decided to date my notes. It's genius! Watch me work my organisational skills. Cha-cha-cha.
from ping-island :
pingly is adorable, i only wish i had a name that cute. and honestly, i dunno about the whole dream interpretation thing. i just think it's fun/funny, and sometimes it happens to be relevant. i'm never too sure what i think about the whole thing. :/ generally i'm kind of a proof whore, but once i really did dream about a thing that happened later on, and sometimes i've realized stuff because of dreams. so i don't know.
from sexyatheist :
i agree that the lack of choice in our vag hair care is a problem. it's like if we want to go crazy and let it all grow out, partners will just not be okay with it. kind of sucks really.
from alienamiss :
Allow me to add another homily: "I'd ride that bitch like a cowboy on a tub-of-flub fat lady -- yeeehaw!"
from alienamiss :
I hate to add to the brouhaha by crying, "But I kind of enjoy shaving. It's like beards -- some gotta have a different style." I feel less sweaty with less hair, no clue why.
from annanotbob :
Back already to say I am so with you regarding hair. But I include all hair - what is it with this idea that women don't have hairy legs or underarms? That's CHILDREN, fuckers, not women. I have been resolutely hairy since reading aforementioned Ms Greer, age 16 in 1970. It never had a noticeable impact on my sex life (I was an Olympic standard shagger in my day) - most men seem to actually like it. Now I have a bit of a beard and I'm not so sure I can stick with that, but so far so good. x
from annanotbob :
Thanks, hon. Hope you're feeling better. God, I love your profile - Germaine Greer and John Steinbeck... x
from omfggwtf :
well, thank you very much for that hah :D i guess i should have your outlook on that sorta thing, with the weight issue thing. i should think like that more aha, xo.
from cloudy-night :
Sorry that you're sick. Soon as spring hits, people usually get sick, it's ironic or somethiing. At least your dad is trying to make amends, I doubt it will help because you're probably carrying around a heavy load and although you let him have it, that wasn't 1/4 of the cup. Still, if he's willing to put forth any effort, it's good to except it, right? And you're welcome. I don't think you'd like to adopt me, I'm not properly trained. I'd cause you a big mess. Get better and good luck with the paper. "YOU CAN DOOOO IT!" That was my best Adam Sandler impression, you won't hear it again...
from cloudy-night :
I'm sorry that happened to you. Those sorry assholes are going to get what are coming to them. I can't believe that asshole spitted in your eye, definitely hit up the doctor a.s.a.p. It's no telling what they have since they share the same needles like it's a fucking cup of water. I am really pissed, if I knew where they were, I would seriously fuck them up and call the cops on myself. I will say this, it was better that you didn't provoke them because if he came back and spitted in your face, he would have probably did worse things if you mouthed off. I'm not saying submit, I'm saying know your environment. It's like what I tell my sisters, if you see something that you can use as a weapon, fuck them up and explain the shit later. I'm sorry for all the profanity, I'm just pissed. If you could have found anything in that laundry mat to use as a weapon, I still wouldn't have suggested it because you were alone, but it's still a good idea to know where things are just in case you have to defend yourself. Never break and I really hope this experience didn't make you view the world in darker tones.
from alienamiss :
Aw shit, why didn't you teach that shithead a lesson?
from cloudy-night :
Lol, I want to be a back-packer. So, if you're going home, why not stay with your family? I do remember that you mentioned having problems with them, but it's only for a few days I reckon. No harm in that, is it? 24 hour cake delivery? I will keep that idea in mind. Lol, so you'll bath in icing, the insects are going to love you! Keep in mind, the more you scream and jump around, the more excited the bugs are going to get.
from alienamiss :
Imagine the dirt I'll have on you--!
from cloudy-night :
Racism in America, really? People are idiots and no matter how upset you get, fear of difference will always loom its ugly head. I'm happy to hear that you're not accepting it. No matter how much I think about it, I never seen scientology as a real religion. I though old Ron was just using that in one of his Battlestar stories or something, but what the hell do I know? Also, I would buy a diaryland t-shirt or mug, I mean if it keeps them from shutting down then I'll definitely do the damn thing.
from alienamiss :
Hmmm.. I could be; lurking on D-land for depressive disciples. I will be watching.. and making notes to the great god.. of whatever Scientologists pray to.
from alienamiss :
Hmm. Ever wonder what history will say about Scientology later?
from alienamiss :
I was getting pretty butt-hurt about thinking I was losing my old diary. I'm in the process of cataloging the entries for personal printing.
from alienamiss :
HOORAH; WE DON'T HAVE TO EMIGRATE TO OTHER SITES. I'm so excited about that. I was a total puss and sold out to LJ for about 24 hours. Goddamn! What a soul-less site!!
from ping-island :
I'd buy dland merch too, if it looked all snazzy and stuff! Someone should offer to design some shirts and mugs and buttons and stickers for Andrew. It's better than a donate button!
from phaythles :
Lol...thanks...I was just surprised at the things that were comin outta my sis mouth...her thought process is crazy...she wants to start a book called the Adventures of Bill n Fred...hah!
from gonzoprophet :
If you ever browse through the diaries listed on the recent public entries box or the users online right now one, usually if it's a word a number and then a word, i.e., tom75turing...if you go to read the diary, it's just a marketing paragraph with links to a store website. and some bot is just churning these things out, it's really quite a nerdly epidemic
from cloudy-night :
So things are finally moving in the right direction, eh? That's good. You're never too old to work in a cafe, especially if it's something you enjoy doing. You should do it, that were some of the best stories originate from! I do agree with you about the fashion trends, I don't like looking like everyone else. Then again, I never tried to fit in or stick out. I bet that your head isn't big. You shouldn't worry about things like that, your head is probably well-proportion to your body. If that didn't make you feel better, I don't blame you. I don't know what to say in regards to that. I bet you're effin beautiful and that your mind is playing tricks on you.
from ping-island :
thank you :* there's something kind of appealing about being a creepy recluse though. it's almost...thrilling. i should begin acquiring cats to get a head start on things.
from fangbanger :
I am looking forward to some xbox game playing woo. P.S. I love old men. So hot.
from omfggwtf :
lily allen ^__^ mm. nice diary xo.
from ping-island :
i think you are right! if i knew someone else exactly like me (and i do know people similar to me) i would probably think they were pretty cool people (and i do!). i guess it's just hard for me to get past what some people think of me. :/ and thank you. :)
from cloudy-night :
I hope that your stomach feels better! You must have been doing some crazy sit ups or is it that time? Either way, I hope you feel better! I truly hope everything is okay in all aspects.
from annanotbob :
Big hugs, honey to help you through the dog days. This will pass. You are a star and will shine again soon. Meanwhile rest up and be very very kind to your lovely self. xx
from svenhard :
sounds terrible for you, he sounds like a knob, eject my girl, eject.
from svenhard :
sadly Oz still has a very conservative right wing core attitude that pervades society, you should dress demurely and go to church while the boys drink and play with cars, manly stuff. in reality you should get what you want/need as you want/need it and enjoy every depraved perversion like it were your last
from cloudy-night :
Ouch. I know a lot of nice guys who love nothing more than getting laid. But I think you should do what you feel like doing, fuck what others have to say. Just don't get caught up in some Roseann Quinn shit, have you ever seen "Looking for Mr. Goodbar"? Be safe and use sound judgement.
from sexyatheist :
amen. enjoy yourself
from rumblelizard :
Ah, Nice Guys(TM). What a pain in the ass they are, indeed. http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html My diary is locked, but uname: thunder pw: lizard if you're interested
from ping-island :
do you mean those nice guys who think women are helpless flowers who owe them sex as a reward for pretending to be a decent human being? because those guys completely suck.
from wifemotherme :
"Loneliness shouldn't have a stigma. It's a motherfucking righteously worthy lifestyle choice" Since this might be the most basic truth ever written in the history of mankind, I feel compelled to steal it and post it not only to my own blog but also my face book status!
from cloudy-night :
You don't know who The Eagles are? They're one of the great 70's bands. How can you know of Led Zepplin and fail to realize the greatness, which is The Eagles? I guess I have to hunt you down and take care of you now. It won't hurt, I promise...well, not much.
from gonzoprophet :
I sure freakin hope so, or i'm royally fucked. Howdy, btw. I enjoy the way you see the world.
from fangbanger :
Haha, I love S.O.A.D., my fav song is Violent Pornography. Now I am horny.
from cloudy-night :
So you're finally hip to S.O.A.D? Cool band, why the hell are you getting into it now? I'm one to talk since I've just discovered The Eagles and Fleetwood Mac. It's like you knew of their existence, but you couldn't quite relate to them just yet.
from fangbanger :
and then would you fuck the shit out of me too?!
from svenhard :
muse jiuce is the most nutritious and satisfying of all juices
from ping-island :
thank you! i'm so barely legal that it's still completely thrilling to be carded. i haven't even mailed in my voter registration form yet! and hell yeah team jacob. mmm that back.
from cloudy-night :
Me, cute? I thought I was more of the cool, rugged, take-no-prisoners sort of guy. I read your last entry and all I could say is...wow. It's good that you are so free and it's nothing wrong with masturbation. I could never talk about it as openly as that, I may as well have grown up catholic. Penis envy, so Freud was right? Then Karen Horney (lol, Horney) could correct about womb envy. Damn it, maybe I want to have children myself. Tipsy-topsy world sister, pass the hash...
from cloudy-night :
You're a bi-sexual, that's cool! You seem to be in a precarious position, surrounded by hypocritical assholes --- feels like high school or dare I say, church on Easter? At one point in my life, I used to abhor bi's and homosexuals and why, because somebody told me I should. Later I learned that people can't help who they like and that that I have no right to condemn anyone for any reason. I know men who has married guys, I know women who can't get enough of women parts ( hell, I can't either!), and I met men and women who can't get enough of their sex and the opposite. I think it's great to be who you are and love who you are and if you need any help sticking it to the nay-sayers on either side of the fence, put me in coach! What is the name of the documentary anyway?
from ping-island :
another bisexual reporting for duty, and oh man i know exactly what you mean. i don't even like the word bisexual anymore because everyone associates it with indecisiveness and promiscuity and they make all kinds of assumptions about me. i don't ever say i'm straight but these days i just say i'm a lesbian because it's easier than explaining my issues with the idea of a gender binary, and then i feel like some kind of goddamn traitor. anyway, i really liked your entry, it was full of truth.
from minstrelite :
Our society is all screwed up over what is a choice and what is a condition. I think mainly that people like to think that something is a choice that is actually a condition when either they are threatened by it or when they don't want to assume responsibility for their own choices. I'm not sure if that made any sense, but that's what I thought about when I read your entry, not that I'm bisexual, I'm quite straight, but I have a couple other conditions that I often get blamed for as though they were moral issues. I believe it all boils down to one word: XENOPHOBIA. Thanks for the great entry.
from warpednormal :
people are silly. BISEXUALS UNITE!!!!
from annanotbob :
Ha. I used to be bi- (before I became a-)sexual, so I know where you're coming from on that. Here (UK, but probably specific to Brighton) it's all about LGBT, Lesbian, Gay, Bi or Trans, so it's at least more inclusive on paper, but less so in life. For me it was always about the person - some people make me want to get physical, most don't. Now none do, but I empathise with you. xxx
from svenhard :
i had assumed that from your handle, although i don't think i've read yet where you explicitly say you are a robot, prior to you my only other experience of a stellarrobot was SOHO(nerd pun, sorry), so you are a proper robot then, wicked, hows yer input ports holding up ?
from cloudy-night :
I'm offended, I'm left-handed and I've yet to hurt myself while cooking. Sure, I almost burned down my mama's house and injured a few by-standers, but that stuff happens to everyone. I hope that you're kidding about the golf ball sized lump and I hope that you avoid catching a cold. Good luck with your culinary training, remember to put a pinch or salt into boiling water, that prevents rice and pasta from sticking. ;)
from cloudy-night :
Everyone wants to be loved by someone, it's normal. Don't fight it, it's one of those never-ending battles. It's great that you love yourself, but don't be greedy, spread the joy. Oh yeah, of course you're effin hot, no doubt. I can't believe you were trying to get some girl on girl action going. But honestly, I feel sorry for the woman who was flirting with you. She kind of put herself out there and now she can never take it back, no matter how truthful it was or how sincere her intentions. It's must be hard to face someone you're interested in everyday and realize that what you dream of can never become reality. Look at what you're doing, you got me all concern for everyone, shame on you. Also, I'm thankful that you're not going to hunt me down. I didn't want have to go Bruce Lee on yer arse! I hope you find love because you are a catch and anyone who is lucky to capture your heart should consider himself lucky.
from cloudy-night :
That's one hell of a nightmare, I can't imagine. Maybe you should take a vacation, a little peace and quiet would be good for you.
from fangbanger :
Do eyelash curlers really work? I want to buy one now... you can never over wank. wanking is good, no matter how often.
from svenhard :
in men it's either sudden onset carpal tunnel syndrome, or the point at which you shoot blood out of your knob
from svenhard :
no need to shout dear, strong words softly spoken and all that, ps. xxx
from cloudy-night :
Sorry to hear about that. You may not have your parents support, but I bet their are a lot of people in your life that support you. Hopefully your parents will change and become the kind of parents you can turn to. Cheer up, things will be okay...
from fangbanger :
where are you!! I crave my entertainment.
from mystokryst :
Sure are some interesting diaries on this site. I like #6 the best on your list. And #1 blasted my psyche as though it were a message from God or something. Right on.
from svenhard :
there's never been any doubt in my mind that your balls are both reflective and substantial. balls should be kept out of sight so as to maintain the advantage, life's a big poker game, don't want to give your balls away early, might lose the initiative. also, thanks, i didn't know i'd been away x
from cloudy-night :
Thank you for the comment, maybe I will go out on a limb and compliment a woman on her beauty. But after reading your latest entry, specifically the part about social interactin, I'm not sure I will have the nerve. Also, I'm happy that all that swimming is paying off for you. Hard work always produce results, eh? Let the guys down gently, they can't help it that they find your beauty intoxicating (I love those kind of cliche's). Oh yeah and about the police thing, they can be assholes at times.
from fangbanger :
next time I decide to become a lesbian (and then change my mind) I will be sure to make sure you are aware! If you mend your sleazy ways I will be sorely disappointed and it will make me very sad. Why do I need a longer pee cycle?! Haha. I hold in my wee all the time because I can never be bothered to go... so lazy.
from ping-island :
i dunno man i think porn penis is pretty gross too! it's really scary. if i was with a dude and he took off his pants and it was a giant porn penis i would probably cry. bear showed me pictures of his penis once and it's an actual big porn one. i suggested that he allow me to tie little ribbons to it so it wouldn't be so intimidating.
from fangbanger :
are you really?! I will have to complain to andrew then haha. I don't want my comments blocked!!!
from ping-island :
well...the subculture is kind of hard to explain. i guess i should just say a furry is a person who enjoys looking at, drawing, or writing fiction about anthropomorphic animals. usually these animals are things like tigers, wolves, and foxes, because they are often romanticized. the subculture itself is known for attracting a lot of creeps and social rejects and deviants because it's so inclusive and accepting.
from fangbanger :
I am pretty sure my cock is the biggest in the world... haha
from cloudy-night :
Ah, being a slacker is very easy for me. It's like, to quote Liz Phair, "my favorite underwear, it just feels right!" Me and slackerdom is like a fish to water. Thanks for your kind words and the next time I feel like that, I'll definitely remember what you said.
from fangbanger :
I feel better after reading your comment(s) because you like me, this is all I need, hehe. I hate the old men, I get plenty of those, and one tried to force his slobbery face on me, yuck. Why do they think they are good enough? We should party naked star jump stylee.
from cloudy-night :
your parents are pretty cool. there are still things to rebel against. I don't know what though, all the good things have already been done. Also, I doubt you have list of things you abhor, but if you do - I probably can talk you down to loving a few things.
from fangbanger :
make sure you record the naked star jumps and let me see! I think your parents may be cooler than my mum when she is drunk, and that is saying something.
from annanotbob :
Darling, you are at least as cool as me and indeed anyone else, deffo. At risk of over-exciting, I've not only heard of Steinbeck but I've written a modern version of 'Of Mice and Men' set in the UK, all female (apart from someone's unnamed husband), using East European immigrant cleaners. It fucking works as well. If only I could be arsed to edit it...
from annanotbob :
(Just noticed you list Germaine Greer and John Steinbeck - I do just LOVE you) Liked that entry about naughty parents. My eldest daughter has rebelled by being spotlessly clean, mainly wearing pink fluffiness, having a killer work ethic and never touching drugs despite having MS which means you're ALLOWED to smoke dope. So it can be done, but there's not much fun in it x
from cloudy-night :
So the older men were eyeing you? Hey, you know what they say about old men and younger women? Nothing anymore. I'm happy that you're living life today. French maids? I want one. Maybe if I'm good enough, santa would put one under my tree this x-mas. I'm not picky, she doesn't have to cook or clean equally well, I'll take the former because I love doing the latter. Also, I doubt you abhor anything - you're a peach.
from fangbanger :
Naked star jumps! Now that is definitely the way to go.
from fangbanger :
Haha, awesome stuff. I would keep it in my private collection. I am going to be on stiffy watch tonight to see if I can tell when my friends bf gets one. I will keep you updated.
from fangbanger :
I would love to see that video. I am not sure if I possess the gift of telling if guys have stiffies, because everytime I have looked at boys crotches they appear to not have a stiffy. I need to do more research! More crotch watching!
from cloudy-night :
Who here doesn't dig Zepplin? It's a real shame that you can't multi-task. Cleaning and cooking goes hand in hand, it's a real shame. You know guys like women who can cook and simultaneously, right? Lol, just kidding! I read about the problem that has no name. Another thing I abhor is when someone tries to push their beliefs on you. When my friend go saved, I was happy for him. He found God and he felt he found his reason. But just because you find God, don't force it down my throat! What do you abhor? Or would these things I described to you be considered pet-peeves?
from cloudy-night :
One of the things I abhor is helping someone who doesn't really need help at all. Have you ever gave someone money only to find out that they have a better job than you? It turns out that you need it more than they did.
from cloudy-night :
At least you attempted to cook. Hey if you don't suceed... LMAO, sorry I can't help myself. You said your cooking tasted like ass, omfg!
from fangbanger :
That is exactly why I consciously choose not to cook, and let my mother do it haha. Or the take away people.
from ping-island :
That Taylor Lautner dude is younger than I am ahaha.
from fangbanger :
I will know! I am like father christmas, I know whether you are naughty or good. You are definitely naughty!
from fangbanger :
You are like a naughty child! Haha. Stop it this instance and get to bed!
from fangbanger :
Thanks for the input, I would totally bang her too! I will listen to the song again... haha I heard a high pitched I-just-came noise 'ohh'. Funny. Manchild orgasm noise.
from fangbanger :
Haha, I listened to Revolution, didn't here the eh eh eh bit, but when he was saying alright over and over at the end that sounded kinda retarded orgasms. Anyways, you should listen to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8i70445t88 and go 4 mins 37 seconds in. They are some good sex noises (It is a Metallica song).
from cloudy-night :
Ah, I can't wait to hear what you have to say about Tori. I want to find out what you know about this "menace".
from fangbanger :
Haha, no I don't think it is weird you have now been tweaking your nipples... others might though. Or maybe they will just find it arousing. I am glad you still have sensitivity... that was the thing I was most worried about because that is the thing that turns me on the most. I love having my nipples played with. Awesome stuff. Did it really hurt, and why did you take them out?
from cloudy-night :
We all need a good cry every once in a while, it's okay. So you don't like Tori, eh? Where's the love?
from fangbanger :
Shucks, you make me blush! I am glad I am somebodies dream girl!!
from cloudy-night :
You can't let people like her get to you, maybe she is harboring a secret crush.
from ping-island :
aww well thanks. i never found me to be especially profound, myself.
from giggleshit :
SMUT?? I want smut. Why am I sick of smut, smut is my middle name. It's Swedish. True fact.
from ping-island :
i don't care about man-hands i am making a formal request for smut anyway.
from fangbanger :
Haha, yeah I am not sure how it is spelt either... tattooooooooed. Well all I can say is she got a good fucking by some rather hot guys before she was killed, and if I were to die, I am sure I would be pretty happy if I had been done by a hot sexy vampire and hot sexy Jason Stackhouse. Ooooh yeah.
from fangbanger :
Haha, yeah he is, the exact one. He is hot. Especially when he is fucking Maudette Pickens. :D x
from fangbanger :
So which bangable babe in the picture are we talking about? The bald, tattoo'd vamp? If so, then he is in season one of True Blood, episode one I think. Hot stuff. :D
from blacksheet :
Send the pictures to your followers at DLand!
from fangbanger :
I think bringing a vibrator to work, so you can get yourself off in the toilet is more than a valid life option. :D. Let me know how the engagement goes. haha xx
from annanotbob :
Ha ha - you make me laugh and I always like people, well, women (you are a woman, aren't you?) who use the word cunt so I'm adding you. My diary is fucking boring right now, but I've had my moments and will do again. xx
from svenhard :
corset sounds hot.as.fuck
from warpednormal :
hey! Thanks for the message...i needed that! I mean, i know all you said is true...and i would probably be saying the same thing to ANYONE else going through it. but i'm pretty much good with whatever results come my way now...heart heart. LOVE your writing by the way. you are quite the sass machine. (haha idk)
from cybers1ut :
I have nothing at all against open relationships. I think for some people who are mature and honest enough to maintain that kind of lifestyle, they are great. However, it angers me when I see critically selfish people defend their selfishness by thinking of themselves as free spirits and in avid approval of "open relationships" that are only open for THEM. Do unto others, you know?
from ping-island :
haha, no problem. i'm glad you enjoyed it, i had fun with it too.
from fangbanger :
I am glad I have amused you :), I amuse myself. I laugh at my own jokes. Anyways, let me know if you get anyone to massage your head while having sex, and let me know how it goes! Har-har. I also prefer public toilets to bf/gf. This one time I left a floater in bf's toilet, but I hadn't realised. I only found out when he went into the toilet a little bit later and then told me. I was only 16, and mortified, so much that I still remember it! Funny. Anyways, I have a read a few entries of yours and you make me giggle :). awesome stuff.
from ping-island :
I dunno...we don't have a working fireplace and I hate camping and nobody I know smokes and I never liked candles. It's just never come up until now! In my next entry I will interpret the fuck out of your dream.
from svenhard :
good point, well made. cleavage wins every time as it's far more attractive than cocks. buying your own drinks is commendable and independent behaviour, but you shouldn't discount dim men as a source of free alcomahol, so easily led they are
from svenhard :
must be that the boys in your social circle aren't 'heavy' enough to cause distortion of their trousers through wood. try talking filthy to them, show some cleavage, then get them to go buy the drinks
from svenhard :
everyone loves peaches, they're so peachy. I'm decked out with 32 hole DM's, leather chaps, torn white singlet and a white suede codpiece marked with the sign of jesus in gold leaf, and a pair of shotguns, rapture-ready mofo's
from svenhard :
for girls they do a range of rapture-proof hotpants, capri pants and gym shorts, so whatever the occasion you can be sure there's a garment that fits with YOUR style
from svenhard :
thought of another, how about marziflange ?
from blacksheet :
Sure.. give me your email, I'll delete it from my notes as soon as I get it.
from svenhard :
now corrected, i've also added sugar-mice for that old skool '70s feeling
from blacksheet :
I can give you the password, but I warn you.. It's really quite dull!
from svenhard :
i love the term sugar-tits but its use in conversation is a veritable mine field of social faux pas, i usually chicken out...
from phaythles :
I just wanted to leave a totally random note sayin that u crack me up...i somehow stumbled across ur shit n found u entertainin bout handjobs n cussin n all the other random shit u write...u amuse me...good job...lol...
from svenhard :
i've been told i swear too much and i should go back to the off-beat entries of yesteryear which (admittedly) tended to be cleverer and funnier. saying that i swear alot at work so you'd think i'd have got it out of my system by the time i start typing stuff. i think in the entry it was justified though, bastards
from giggleshit :
ELOPING?!?! RIGHT FUCKING NOW. *Hip thrust*
from enurta :
omg i just checked out tvtorrents.com and there's like 3 seasons of brothers and sisters. which one should I download? which one are you watching?
from svenhard :
also, sally field is still way tasty...
from svenhard :
miasmic is a word that never gets used much, annanotbob used the word apposite in a note to me, i've never heard of that word ever until then, dland is turning into some kind of free-for-all english lesson.
from cybers1ut :
Are you a psych student or a BPD patient? ^_^
from enurta :
'Has anyone else noticed that Rihanna has freakishly over-sized thighs? ' HAHAHAHAHA I laughed so hard when I read that. keep writing, you are good at it.
from liquid-stun :
and it's not access denied, it's diary deleted. you know where to find me, anyway.
from mrnihil :
i still have good hair. moving doesnt make my hair bad.
from giggleshit :
Wow that was like, the longest note ever. I just keep taaalkiiiingg
from giggleshit :
I'M FATTER. I AM LIKE THE QUEEN OF BUTTER ROLLS AND CHEETOS. ANYA VON BACONGREASE HURFF Heheh, I actually found your diary when I was like hurr what's this, diaries that list my diary as their favorite diary? Can I say the word diary again diary diary? Anyway, so I read it like forever ago (month, two?), but I thought you died because it seemed like you haven't updated in a while. But then I go and check my mail and holy balls, you left me a note! Then I rolled around a bit and giggled like a fat kid. Um. You make me laugh. You're all like, fuck yeah, and shit. I AM SO GOOD AT THIS OH GOD I'M SOCIALLY RETARDED hjfhskdhfdk With love, Anya.
from th3dhorseman :
I still live. gatorhoy@gmail.com
from dinosaurorgy :
Yes! I encourage you to wear a cape!
from dinosaurorgy :
Hey, stellar -- I've been a fan of your for a while. You don't know me or anything, but I was wondering if you would be interested in joining a little diaryland club (question-it)? I have a feeling that you'd have some really cool questions to ask, so I thought I'd see if I could pique your curiosity. (Hope you don't find it rude for me to ask you like this, all of a sudden and whatnot.)
from bettyford :
stellar - email me for the pw! annehymarie at yahoo dot com. or leave your email in my notes. our mutual girl crush will neva' end. NEVA'!!!
from bettyford :
"ohhhhohhh, here she comes. watch out boys she'll chew you up. she's a man eater." and, hello? a few more details about "the love of your life" would be nice.
from bettyford :
worldwide! lucky.
from bettyford :
oh, i think that i have. i may have taken a more animal-friendly approach. but other than that . . . my new found insanity is completely stella-esque.
from bettyford :
hahahahahaha. ok, yes - WHY is sucking cock an insult? i'm not a huge fan of sucking cock. i do it as a favor, you know? is it masochism? maybe if "eat my pussy" were a more popular way of telling someone to fuck off, i might think so. and why does this intrigue me? YOU (and your able bodied self) were at least pondering the thought. you should have looked at that old bitch in the store and yelled, "Holy Crip! It's a crapple!" does that make any sense down under? anyway, fucking hilarious, love. you should drink more often.
from bettyford :
Tarjay is Target in French, right? hahahaha. Either way the shoes made ground beef out of my feet. Hamburger, anyone?
from stellarrobot :
Nobody uses my notes.
from stellarrobot :
My vagina looks funny.
from stellarrobot :
Well thats just dandy.
from stellarrobot :
I touch myself. I want you to love me.
from spudfarmer :
Stell DHARLING!! You know when I say "fucking fuckhead" I mean god dam I wish I was a smart and pretty and charming and sexy and witty and boobie-scanning-licious as you are. :)
from stellarrobot :
Talk to the hand, girlfriend.
from super :
& DINNER, MMM
from starla-june :
hey you can read me whenever you want! :) heh heh...
from stellarrobot :
Note to self: Do not talk to self. Good day, that is all.
from sleeky :
The potato song One potato, two potato, three potato, four! five potato, six potato, Seven potato, MORE!!
from asteroidbelt :
this is a neat-o read. beep borp
from suckass :
You rock. That is all.
from ladiebug :
i love that song you posted today! sort of... okay, i do. heh, issues much? anyway, love your diary, ill be back for more. :)
from ladiebug :
i love that song you posted today! sort of... okay, i do. heh, issues much? anyway, love your diary, ill be back for more. :)

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