DiaryLand members area

I've missed you and was excited to see your name in red. If you're letting anyone read, I'd like have your pw. If not, I hope you're well and still writing somewhere. xo

from misfitstray :

I miss you!

from tiedupinyou :

hi, its me aka recentmoon... just thought of you not long ago, and see it's been a while since you're been here. hope all is well with you.

from swordfern :

Do you have any idea how much I love Kathleen Edwards? I drove 9 hrs down to Vancouver to see her earlier this year. I know every word, every breath. I listened to a live concert podcast of hers every time I went night skiing this winter. Her voice is so familiar that it never fails to comfort me. I'm glad that you got to see her. Thank you for sharing.

from hitch-hike :

Hi Steve! It's me, your wandering-librarian-adventure mate from the blogosphere! **Waves from Florida** Nice to hear from you!

from swordfern :

10 months! You know how you can go and travel all over the place and see tonnes of things and gain new perspective, and then when you return home everyone is eerily going about their lives just the same as when you left? Well, that's Diaryland. Miss you! :)

from xnamehere :

things are going rather swimmingly my friend. thanks :D

from xnamehere :

hey man, hope you're doing well. i was wondering if you could possibly delete that note in which i leave my email addy. sorry... just gettin a little paranoid out here. >.>

from misfitstray :

I know that you are reading here from time to time. I really hope that everything is ok with you. Thinking of you from time to time. Take care oxo

from fightn4life :

Wow...it has been forever that I have written and come to find out you too are at a loss for words. I stopped by today and there are so many writers moving to other blog sites...must be the "free" part that takes them away. Google, Blogger both have free sites Lord only knows who else. Not sure yet what I plan to do,I still have the itch to write now that I have my life back. But when my gold membership ends I might follow the flow. It is beginning to feel a bit like a ghost town here. It has been such an honor to have "known" you for so many years...your pictures and words have helped me over many a mountain. I want to thank you with all my heart for your continued support, friendship and those glorious photos that made this life feel just a bit more special. Hope to see an update here and there...some day I too will just fade away. It has been a wonderful journey here even through the pain and sorrow. Thanks Steve...Sandyz out...

from hitch-hike :

Hello Steve! Happy Summer to you! Thanks for the Nadya trilogy. I enjoyed reading it; it took me to lands I've never seen... I've been taking a bit of a hiatus, and it's good thing every so often! **Hugs**

from fightn4life :

Every time I try to write comments, the phone rings or something out of my control slams into me. Well tonight�ditto. Smile. I have little by little been backing up and reading your book�what an awesome and interesting read. Even when I went for a long time with out checking back�I recalled where I left off. That is a sign of great writing. I also wanted to thank you for all your support during these trying times. You were so right when you said I needed to get out more. I did and feel alive. I know the road will not be smooth running, but I do believe I made leaps and bounds in this last week. Thanks so much for your inspiration, advice and much needed support. (I will continue to back track until I am able to catch up) Sandyz

from sunpowered :

Sorry for the wah-wah-poor-me voicemail! I know there are worse problems in the world. In fact, mine got worse. Hahah! But I guess I'll live. === Have been wondering how you are, and I see you're still writing, so I'll let you get back to it. I'm thinking all this Nadya-writing means you're probably doing very well. === TTYS.

from swordfern :

I like how this is building... Long time no regular update re: Steve? Hope everything is great and spring-like down on over there! BTW your entry comments aren't working properly :(

from fifidellabon :

Thank you for your good wishes! XOFifi

from sassymcgee :

Did your entry pass it's test? Sorry. I'm such a smarty pants sometimes lol.

from fifidellabon :

This is Big Leg weekend is it not? Have fun, take lots of vids! I can hear the "woooooh!" even now! XOFifi

from thisismywish :

Thanks, friend. ineedamission at hotmail dot com .

from thisismywish :

Boo, let me in!

from swimlady0 :

Hey Steve, I never received my key through my email. try sending it again please. [email protected]. Thanks, Steph

from sassymcgee :

I would like the key when you decide to lock and load. My email is [email protected].

from misfitstray :

Thank you! :)

from swimlady0 :

Ahh, yes I did switch providers a long time ago. Anyways, email addy is [email protected]. Good hearing from you. :)

from swimlady0 :

Hey, I wanted to let you know that I'm one of the locals that still read your diary every day. I would like a key. Don't know why, but it has never let me comment on your entries, just says the page is out of order. Sincerely, Stephanie (swimlady0)

from sassymcgee :

I'm alive! LOL! I freaked out for nothing...I expected to wake up to no electricity and everything outside looking like crystals but that wasn't the case. I never lost power and was warm and cozy in my bed. Unfortunately while the rest of the town was at home I had to go to work so the kids could eat on campus. Oh well at least I didn't lose much time from work.

from sassymcgee :

Sure I can try. I am not the best at putting photos and such on here but I'll give it a whirl.

from sassymcgee :

Actually I agree with you on how fast it's going...I don't feel like I'm accomplishing everything on my list either. I'm doing well...I have a new smile and am making plans to try and find another job. I'm just not making the money I need to get ahead, so unfortunately that means a new job. Concerts...have you ever gone to Rock on the Range? That's the one concert I am going to this year.

from sassymcgee :

Hello! Are you enjoying this wonderful weather? Me either. How's your winter going?

from fifidellabon :

Happy Christmas, Swimmmy. XOFifi

from fifidellabon :

Its the breakfasts. The bread there is my new boyfriend! They make it themselves and it is soooo delicious!XOFifi

from sassymcgee :

Stupid snow and 0 degree weather.

from fifidellabon :

Yes, Mister, let's have some of that SNOW!!!! XOFifi

from fifidellabon :

It really was a lovely, lovely day for a hike! And yes, you were that friend! It wasn't exactly a WWSD moment, but you deffo crossed my mind. I am going to try another one this weekend, in between all of the other activity. XOFifi

from fifidellabon :

Thank you Swimmmy, for your kind words. I really do value your insights...XOFifi

from fifidellabon :

"AND, how could anybody ever be mad at YOU??!!" Thank you for that, Swimmmy. Sometimes I bumble about like a horse in a closet, and I get overly sensitive and think that EVERYbody is mad at me, but forch, I am usually wrong. What I need is about three days worth of sleep to put me right! But Swimmmy, she was TOTALLY angry with me and that has rattled me. Except that as I tell Biba, in two weeks no one will even remember this. I hope that you had a grand time at the concert. If I had had my act together and I was certain that you'd have access, I'd have given you a real message for Andy, just for the fun of it. XOFifi

from sassymcgee :

I know right? The thing is that I grew up in this neighborhood and it was NEVER this bad. It's not like I live in a large city where there's an actual bad part of town.

from sassymcgee :

PFFFT!!! That's the sound I made from the Pepsi spewing out of my nasal passage LMAO!!! I really can't help you with what to say to Bee...I come from the bootyliciousness side of the issue...

from sassymcgee :

How are you and Bee getting along? ;)

from sassymcgee :

I used to follow politics MORE than I do now...I used to think I could do something about how horrible this government is. And then I realized I can't fight all the stupid people in the country...it would kill me. lol

from sassymcgee :

Oh I'm about there. It's ridiculous...I sure don't care about watching them anymore. As for the Indians, it's almost fishy how they're running that team. It's almost guaranteed if someone is traded that player is going to be awesome on another team(effin' Sabbathia and Ramirez for example). I'm just tired of the suckiness.

from sassymcgee :

The chantal version is my favorite also. It's really a much prettier song her way. Have fun and I can't help being a TAD jealous...;D

from sassymcgee :

Yes. It's a pretty sweet pic.:D Actually my parents have a permanent campsite around Pymatuning Lake...They've gone there since I was a kid. They JUST bought land up there. Are you around that area?

from sassymcgee :

OH! You're close to me...I live about two hours from Cleveland. Is the waterfall in your pic from the Poconos? It looks like the falls I went to years ago and "accidentally" hiked lol.

from fifidellabon :

XO from Fifi! XOFifi

from sassymcgee :

LMAO!!! Yeeeessssss it is supposed to be. I just thought I couldn't read your stuff because DL was being tarded again. I am such a dork lol

from killsoft :

skeet skeet

from ninabean :

Good luck with your round trip drive!! Hope what you want/need will be accomplished.. and thanks for the words of assurance... i have no guilt for telling her what i did and a third perspective helps me stand tall with how i handled it. xoxo

from winteranfang :

Hmmmm... Positivity is.. well, always a little bit of work for me. My discriminatory intellectual nature impedes it. That's why I have to think about all these things so much. Don't think for a moment it's not like being in chains to the writing. Capote did it too. I thought about that so much I made myself get in chains out of curiosity for writing.

from winteranfang :

Hahahahaha, what Fifi said was so smart. Hmmm... don't let the love gods ignore you. I have always seriously thought you need some love gods a little bit more. (I hope that doesn't offend you in any way.) Whatever makes you happy, Swimmmy.

from winteranfang :

Ay, dude... Hmmm... Other people tell me it doesn't work all the time. I never believe them. I think it's the only thing that works well for me. Maybe some day I'll change.

from fifidellabon :

What?! The love gods are ignoring you?! Well, we'll have to change that, won't we? Only how?XOFifi

from winteranfang :

Hey Swimmmy.... I see you're online. Greetings to you. I will catch up on your diary, soon. XO!

from winteranfang :

Awwwwww, you always care about me. <3 Thank you, dear.

from fifidellabon :

Huh. Wise? Don't know. Wise-acre? Deffo! Well, I do believe that most friendships come with an expiration date. It is foolish to put energy into something that is not there. There is a brilliant expression that relates---it is like putting sand down a rat hole. I've never been one to hold on to a wraith. Conversely---if you are my friend once, you are my friend forever. But I have been known to mutter "only just make sure that you actually WERE my friend..." between clenched teeth! XOFifi Pee Ess Yes, although never met, you are a friend.

from fifidellabon :

Hallo, Swimmmy! I've just been reading the lovely notes that you've left to people here and there. You are deffo wise! Huh huh huh, remember how I found you? I was leaving a note to another 72 but I left it with you instead. What a brilliant serendipity! Deffo glad that it worked out that way! XOFifi

from winteranfang :

Yeah, the nurse just stopped it overnight because it was affecting my musculature. Anybody could have told her that that's not how it's done. That medicine was savage, I never want to take it again -- ever.

from winteranfang :

I think Pennsylvania is a lovely state to visit, Swimmmy. It would be fun to pay you a visit one day and have some coffee. You're a very well-grounded person, dear Swimmmy.

from winteranfang :

I don't know, but you might like West Virginia. To tell you the truth, I didn't pay much attention to cultural aspects of the town while I was living in Morgantown. But that place is full of life! XO

from winteranfang :

Ohhhh, I see. Well, I think you've summarized it in a nice and precise way. I don't generally watch TV, so I'm out of touch with the pop culture. The only thing I do on TV is watch telenovelas every now and then... but lately, I've sort of become intrigued in finding out what is going on in pop culture.

from winteranfang :

Hahaha :) Thank you, Swimmmy. Let's see if I start writing about much more interesting things from now on.

from winteranfang :

You are very kind-hearted, my friend.

from xnamehere :

right on! i love the outdoors. i wish i could travel more... someday. :D

from winteranfang :

I don't really hate guys that much, Swimmmy. It was a bit of a drama queen moment. ;-) XOXO P.S. -yes, I love the fiddle. Improvisation on the fiddle is the best!! :)

from winteranfang :

Hi Swimmmy. Thanks for your perspective. What happened I didn't post on the blog. He made some really nasty hateful comments to me, that I left out. And that's why I had that reaction. But I woke up today, and I hardly even care. It's just the way he is, hateful.

from winteranfang :

Ahhhhhh Swimmmy, when I first heard about Coolidge's pronouncement in history class. I was thinking, What was that guy thinking? He was crazy. But you take a good look at American society, and it doesn't seem so odd. Anyway, times have changed -- of course, many decades ago that would have been true to say too. And I'm good at things, but it's a struggle still trying to get ready for the job market.

from winteranfang :

Thanks Swimmmy, about this last note you left me. I think you are talking about the German guy. Yeah, I am over him. I think I can find a guy who is much better and will give me what I need in a relationship.

from corposant :

Thank you for the compliment. Modesty would prompt me to protest that it is undeserved, but I thumped Modesty on the head and locked her in the bathroom.

from winteranfang :

Thanks, Swimmmy. I am 26, not 27 yet, but at my age it really doesn't matter. I'm still old enough! Hahaha! :D

from fifidellabon :

Blast it all I still haven't gotten to the music videos. Soon, I pray! And then I shall no doubt weigh in. What do you think of "10% Wild Card" as a band name? We might just slap one together for a wedding. I think that we ought to have a name! XOFifi

from ninabean :

Your videos brought such a calm to me at just the right time. Usually when Im upset or angry I can look up quotes online to help me put things in perspective (cheesy, i know).. well tonight that wasnt working. But the sights and sounds of nature always do the trick. Thanks for sharing them :0)

from fifidellabon :

Yes, Swimmmy, I was indeed in the Outer Banks. The Ribbon of Sand, if you will. I won't tell exactly where I was, because we all have been sworn to secrecy. It is more southerly, and not as popular as some places. Popular enough, I'd say! And although it is difficult to leave, it is veree easy to be home! I do love Okracoke, and sometimes we go there. I have studied Okracoke, the language usage, and it is fascinating. The way that they use "anymore" has somehow passed into common vernacular, and I still have not traced how. At any rate, oh yes, we all adore the Outer Banks. I have still not hang glidden at Kill Devil Hills, but I have flown in a biplane from Kitty Hawk. And now, on to the laundry! XOFifi

from winteranfang :

PS-- Thanks for your insight on my life, I feel you are very perceptive.

from winteranfang :

Ohhh, I know Swimmmy. I think a lot of it is just part of my personality. For example, things from all different eras of my life seem to get 'glued' to my mind, and I in general have a good memory for many different kinds of things. (This can be bad for me, as well.) I am having an easier time now that it's all out in the open, I feel I can move forward with my life because I actually said what I thought and felt. So I'm feeling a lot better than, say, last year. :)

from ladyluck92 :

Well I appreciate everything you and Fifi have to say, so I guess that makes both of you "adorable." lol You give me something deep to think about! I know what you mean about things happening because of age... I find myself doing and needing things I thought seemed like an eternity away. BTW, that picture of the sunset is gorgeous.

from winteranfang :

I know, Swimmmy. I feel a bit guilty because maybe I'm really biased and I paint him in the worst light. But when breaking it all down, that looks like facts, what you said.

from misfitstray :

Thanks for your note. Well, I'm not an "only-nice-weather-triathlete". So, I start everywhere no matter how the weather conditions are. I collect experiences and maybe learn out of them. And so I decided to never start again with water temps below 60s :) How is you achilles tendon?

from ninabean :

you may be correct! I've always watched friends of mine pick up and just leave.. some with plans, others without. Some with thousands of dollars saved up, others with a almost nothing... And I've always been in awe of that.. i think, whats keeping me from doing the same? .. it's fear. Perhaps this is one fear its time to get over :0)

from fifidellabon :

Swimmmy, that was me in your archives. I just wanted to let you know. I am doing a lot of thinking. But I won't ask any questions yet. We're about to have a big cocktail party instead of dinner! Then fireworks! XOFifi

from onlylittle :

:) i know i jump around a lot, blog-wise, but this one's a keeper i think, can't seem to unload my thoughts properly anywhere else. thank you for readding me!! xo

from winteranfang :

Swimmmy, I am a bit na�ve, I think, and so I JUST HAD to put in my diary-blog to see what you older friends would say. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom! :) XOXO

from onlylittle :

i'm sad that you removed me from your faves. please don't readd me because of this note. i'm just sad. i still read you! take care.

from winteranfang :

Thanks, Swimmmy!! What a nice invitation. If you are ever in Danville, we can go for coffee! :)

from ladyluck92 :

Thank you for the note and the advice. I really enjoy hearing different opinions and perspectives. Feel free to read, comment, or ask questions anytime! I just want to warn you that I am sometimes boring, random, and I rant a lot!

from winteranfang :

Thank you for that insightful note. Recently I've discovered going and sitting outside in the yard near the trees. I notice I start to think and feel what I'm REALLY thinking and feeling UNDERNEATH of what I'm working on or doing inside at the house, near the computer or whatever! It feels great. I am still scared of snakes and all, but it feels good. :) And to be fair, good things have come out of Facebook sometimes -- like getting reacquainted with folks from kindergarten and so on for example, but at the end of the day I "unplug" it. I disactivated my account last night cos I was sick of it! Really like your perspective, Swimmmy. :) XOXO

from winteranfang :

Dear Swimmmy, I hadn't seen your note until now. But I ended up with the same thought: Andrew is saintly. If I were him, I would have sent this project down the drain a loooong time ago. ;-) XOXO!

from voicescarry :

If you click on the italicized sentence when I was talking about the death of my boss, it will take you there. Don't know why links are so hard to recognize w/ this particular template.

from voicescarry :

Good to hear from you! You were the only one on my buddy list who'd updated in the last three months. It's weird to be back here, especially because the majority of my online communication happens via Facebook and Twitter these days. This time of year always makes me think of Diaryland, probably because I spent so much time writing about the pool. I love my full-time gig, but I REALLY miss working there. I'll keep ya posted. And did you find the link to my IRL blog? Feel free to keep an eye on that, too. I'm required to update that more than once every year and a half!

from sunpowered :

Hi there. Talk to you when you get back from Rochester. ---------- Hey! Wait a minute! The box down to the bottom right says you're ONLINE right now. What the hecks??

from ninabean :

thanks.. day 2 and i failed to upload a pic.. way to go me lol ive always loved that you post pictures just about daily! you've done it since i can remember :0)

from ninabean :

oh goodness, yes I did send u that shania cd!! i had forgotten about that. crazy how we remember such things huh? :) ah diaryland!

from fifidellabon :

Yes, there will be pics. I just need to make the time to get them posted! XOFifi

from textinglife :

i was on dland from 02-05 as ninabean.. its amazing to see you remain here, i wish i wouldve never left! i miss it... i definitely must catch up on ur latests!!

from xnamehere :

i hope dland never ends as well. i've been in love with it for it for 7 years. :D

from saudades :

Hey Swimmmy. How've you been? I'm just checking in and saying hello since you've been MIA, I just hope it's for a good reason like living tons of life. Hugs!

from saudades :

Swimmmy, I am replying to you late -- sorry about that! Well, all I can say is that I'm the opposite. I stake a lot in people, have a lot of faith in them. At least that's who I think I am, but these days I just don't even know or care. XOXO

from saudades :

Thank you Swimmmy. I'm like that too, I love doing my thing and going nuts with it. LOL. :) At least you don't have to work!! (I'm guessing?) Here in the private college I go to, they slap the Civil Rights Movement right in the face and ignore MLK Day.

from fifidellabon :

Stay away from sharp objects? Does that include Sharp Dressed Men and razor sharp wit? Swimmmy, I did indeed go to the ER, clutching a wet flannel in my hand. I was near the border about stitches or not, but was on the "no stitches" side. Didn't hit anything important, well you know what I mean. So all will be well. I am having the devil's own time trying to do things, though. Some things are VEREE difficult! XOFifi

from fifidellabon :

No, I deffo spilt more than a drop. Remember when Biba gashed her forehead? We have the Blood Head Towel from that incident. Now we have the Blood Hand Flannel from this one. I knew right away that it was bad, which is why I kept saying "this is bad" before I has the presence of mind to holler out "Bring me every plaster (band-aid) in the house!!" Ned and Biba were a dream team. Everything is all fine, now, though, thanks be to God! XOFifi

from saudades :

How cool! :) I think you would like it there, it's a really special town... :)

from sunpowered :

Great end-of-year wrap-up! Incredible pictures and stories. Very fun to read. Thanks for posting it all!

from saudades :

Peace to you too, Swimmmy! <3 Happy New Year

from fifidellabon :

Oh, Swimmmy...there is no such thing as a NJ accent. They are all NY or PA derivations, although in the southernmost parts of the state there seems to be a slight Delaware influence, or perhaps Maryland, but I really am not 100% on that...XOFifi

from fifidellabon :

Got it! V. cute, and you know, I simply adore pugs! Not to have, just to squeal over...XOFifi

from fifidellabon :

Oh, Swimmmy, and I thought that my return addy was so clever! Well, at the very least, amusing...XOFifi

from saudades :

Swimmmy, I know that is so! It's quite true. Thank you! :) -- I am really happy (lucky, too) that I have this weeks for vacation. XO! :)

from xnamehere :

ohio, kinda of borderline between college town and the ghetto. i have no doubt it's my neighbors. my boyfriend collects vintage video games and for them to unbundle a mess of chords (they were all ductaped together) only to take one gaming platform indicates a major lack of intelligence on their part. but yeah, moving is definitely in the cards. i do online college, so school isn't an issue. it's just pulling together enough money...

from saudades :

I got one comment there, but I guess the first one didn't get through. Thanks for trying again by notes. Hugs!!

from saudades :

I have some coverage through my mother's insurance, but I think my coverage ends in January? The molar or whatever it can be called now hopefully will get pulled out by then. :) Thanks for the wishes

from saudades :

I hear ya. That's what people who know tell me :) but yeah, whatever like I said. <3

from being-you :

Hey :-) O really like the photos, they look beautiful.

from saudades :

PPS- The bit about English idioms was mostly a joke, I have a bad sense of humor...

from saudades :

PS-- And that it gets less stressful pretty soon, at the latest after that month!! Hope your week gets more pleasant. :)

from saudades :

Thank you! I wasn't sure, I thought it meant maybe that he was removed from work because he was spending more time on the next job. !! I hope that you don't get a job position that you dislike... I'm sorry that things have gotten complicated in your work life. xo!

from saudades :

good luck with your medical tests, i hope everything is okay!

from benzene :

Hey, thanks for the encouraging message! Feel free to take a look at what I have so far. Since I can't procrastinate forever, I decided to adopt a CSS template and learn how to wrestle that into submission first. Anyway, thanks again, and take good care!

from violetwoman :

"monumental clusterfuck" ooo, I like that expression. I've not seen the movie but will add it to my ZipList. Shame about the tendon - those things can be hard to heal being in such a major location! Keep icing it, I guess, and a nice LONG rest! And I love the pic of the fence. Can you email that to me so I can use it as my screensaver? I suppose there's no way to send your music over the internet, eh? :)

from violetwoman :

Hey Steve, Love the mini - they are pretty funky little cars. So, you'll be towing it behind your motor home then? :)

from saudades :

Hi Stevie, thanks for commenting on your own experiences with diaries. Some points I didn't consider at all. It's always refreshing and energizing to see a problem from another angle. I think sometimes I spend more time analyzing what I like to do more than doing it, but that's fun too, ha ha! Sometimes I get bored or frustrated. It [the diary] used to mean a great deal more as a way of finding creativity or expression, but now I'm just happy to get through the days. Ha, ha! I guess my sense of humor is bittersweet now. ((Hugs!))

from violetwoman :

Hey Steve, thanks for your thoughtful words. I'm thinking maybe we often see inspiration in others when we don't give ourselves credit. Like you - determined to run the marathon, pain be damned. We're all so different, aren't we, what makes us tick, what drives us to do the things we do. As for your aches and pains, I read somewhere that runners are notorious for body (joint/muscle) afflictions - no surprise there! But it's obvious it doesn't stop any of you! Fantastic pic, btw - I do love fall colors.

from saudades :

I don't get sleepy from reading your notes, Steve. :P About the atmosphere at Dland, I think I have had a similar experience here since the beginning. There have been few problems in interacting with others. I feel just about everyone I've come across understands how it generally works, if not everyone. Now I know that whatever that was (regarding the diarist and the experience I mentioned),it must have involved misunderstanding or something bothering her that I have absolutely nothing to do with. I like Diaryland a lot, and I'm happy I'm here. I hope you're having a good day in Pennsylvania! Oh, man, I love that state!!! Fred Waring and the Pennsylvanians! I could list a great thing about Pennsylvania every day for the rest of my life. xoxo!! :)

from saudades :

Oh you're welcome, Steve! Thanks to you, too. :) Bear hugs for you.

from saudades :

I especially like New Mexico, and I want to see Colorado.

from saudades :

hey dude. what's up? I see you're dealing with some medical things. I hope that they're all cleared out soon and that the coming months are a blessing for you. thanks for the message you sent me, and I love the west too. XO for you, Mr. Steve friend!

from violetwoman :

#1 - Gorgeous picture - those colors, wow! #2 - Listen to you, so calm and collected in the face of, gasp, surgical procedures. I was a nervous wreck for my CT's - drinking the possibly fatal drinks (haha) and then getting that iodine shot through my veins - didn't you get the contrast dye injected? You lucky dog! The actual x-ray is a piece of cake after all that. Hope you hear back soon - don't forget to let us know!

from violetwoman :

oh yes, get that appendix out NOW! Even if they say it's not so bad, blah blah, tell them you want it out. ALL of my problems stem from my ruptured appendix. If they'd taken it out earlier ... As for recuperation, even for me it wasn't so bad. Pain is irrelevant, really. It wasn't that bad - I only took morphine right after the surgery, and after that, it was tolerable. But I wasn't allowed to drive for two weeks - I wonder if they'll tell you that? Took me awhile to do sit-ups, though!

from saudades :

Oh yeah, the missing part of the story is that the girl didn't want to pay back several months after her loan.

from saudades :

hey Steve!! Yeah, things are great here. Are they great over there? I hope so. And I looked up the exact weight of the text on Amazon, it's 5.8 pounds and 1264 pages. ISBN-10: 0073526991 Hahaha, that's more info than you probably would like. Guess where the gentleman who teaches that class spent most of his life? Uniontown, PA. A friend of mine from WVU once lent a sum to a girl from Uniontown, and that's when we became friends. Cos he was trying to find some legal help, and since I went around studying some "law" classes for undergraduates, I said to him, listen how about we go to the students' lawyer. It's free! I mean, can it be any more fun? And he did get his money back.

from violetwoman :

jeez, Steve, I don't read for a couple days and you get a colonoscopy! I'm glad it went well, barring the prep. Always good to keep an eye on things inside, hah hah!

from sunpowered :

HI!!!! Should I call? Are you awake yet? I'm so glad today's over, for me, and for you. Your day was no better. Good time for sofa and hot chocolate and favorite show. I want cozy and familiar. You all there yet? Coming off your anesthesia? You'll probably still be loopy. Loooooopeeeeeee... LYMY. :-)

from saudades :

I think what h2ophobic said is right on the mark. You are a good friend to him, and I'm sure to your friends in general dear Steve. Take care, and I'm glad you are all right. XO

from h2ophobic :

One of the hardest parts of being an adult is seeing your friends get so sick. The feeling of helplessness is scary. You're a good friend to go see him. It's often human nature to avoid others at a time like this. I think it's because we're so afraid of saying the wrong thing. How great it would be if we all learned that saying anything is better than saying nothing. Your friend is lucky to have you in his life.

from violetwoman :

Ah, the siren song of living alone. No mess, no fuss, no arguments, no expectations. It's all about ME! :)

from hadassah :

wow a half marathon way to go steve.I walk ten kms a day in my house but that doesn't really count Love your pictures.

from fifidellabon :

My dear Swimmmy, what exactly is a sister-in-law test? Sounds fascinating. Oh! Unless the SIL is the aforementioned doctor? XOFifi

from h2ophobic :

(I've tried twice to leave this in your comments. CreCaptcha is hating on me again.) West Glacier, MT is my Moab. I have a physical longing to be there. When I'm there, I'm the me I wish I were every day. I'm relaxed and in continual awe of the beauty. Like your Moab, we cannot afford to go there often enough. We save and save. It's the one vacation that we never scrimp on. We can't wait to get there and never want to leave when it's time. How lucky we are (you and I) to have a magical place to visit. That place in our dreams that doesn't disappoint our reality. Dream on, friend!

from saudades :

Oh, but North Carolina is like 15 minutes away, haha. Durham is 1.5 hr away. :)

from saudades :

Good morning, Steve! Yes, it's new. But I am in Virginia still :) I hope you have a great day. XO!

from cocoabean :

October is the Third Annual Javelina Hunt! Why not join us?? http://javelinahunt2009.wordpress.com/

from violetwoman :

Steve, love the chalk pictures - they really are quite amazing. More please!

from sunpowered :

I just got your note tonight, the one you wrote after my house heartbreak. I didn't get it until tonight, now that I'm over the trauma. But I'm glad I didn't call you when I was freaking-out. It was ugly. Anyway, we had much better talks since all that. Thank you for your grounding. I don't know what I'd do without you. I hope I provide you with something you need, too. You are irreplaceable. Love you, love you, love you, love you.

from saudades :

Ha ha ha ha!! =D Sorry Swimmmy, that's just my dark sense of humor. I don't really think I look too much like a terrorist. My brother does, though -- for real! Oh, and your story is so funny. The university handed you guys beer???

from saudades :

I will e-mail you some questions on photography one day, thanks Swimmmy! XO to you too! :)

from saudades :

What a sweet guy you are! Thank you for the note. I enjoy reading your entries, too! I hope you have a great weekend over there. :) Hope it is less sauna-like outside than it is here!

from saudades :

sent! :)

from saudades :

Hey Swimmmy! Mentioning this in the diary helped me get it out and feel better, as did your words. I'm not sure if I'm a good friend all the time, but it is a priority often. I won't let Miguel's comments affect my self-concept (that needs healthier attention from me anyway); I kind of doubt they're even true. Thank you very much for your note and encouraging words always! :) XO!

from sunpowered :

Love you. Love you. Love you. Call me sometime this weekend if you get a chance. Love you. Love you. Love you.

from saudades :

Thanks, Swimmmy. I didn't know her personally, but I'm very sorry that she had to die so tragically and early in life.

from violetwoman :

Hey, feeling more awake now? I wish I could fall asleep after procedures - nope, I go all manic and freaky. Methinks it has something to do with personality, though ...

from violetwoman :

Steve, no cancer allowed, y'hear? I had a similar experience a few years back - got the all clear for surrounding areas but it left one heck of a scar.

from saudades :

Oh, no! I've only had it one year, that's why I can't claim to know how to keep a computer running for so long. ;) The city I moved to is where it all has been happening. I just lived 20 miles away before where there was hardly anything. :) I am enjoying thinking about the new possibilities...!

from saudades :

Thank you, Swimmmy. What you say is true. I understand that, it's just so difficult to remember it now. I just don't want to try, it seems. But I'll feel better soon enough. Hug for you.

from boann7 :

from saudades :

I mean I don't remember the man from the photo, but some of the music is just something to go crazy for.

from saudades :

Well, thank goodness that it's not the worst thing you could have, but I'm still worried about you! Gotta watch out for that sun. I'm sorry about your work schedule situation. I hope something good makes up for it. XO's to you too, Steve! :) Oh, also I've been lucky to see some amazing bluegrass being played in Morgantown's many interesting places. Although I don't remember Keith and his band, it's possible that I've seen them. :)

from violetwoman :

Ah, I'm so jealous. You are going to have so much fun! You're doing it right, Steve - making the most of what life has to offer.

from violetwoman :

Hoy Steve! Fiddle music is my favorite! And in two weeks we're going to a 'bluegrass gospel' concert. Should be interesting! As for your brother, I'd have jumped out of the car, too. Who needs it?

from saudades :

Hi Swimmmer! Thanks for stopping by and for your very nice comment. I didn't know anyone else was reading, and I am happy to make your acquaintance after seeing you around too.

from violetwoman :

Steve, I was worried you were becoming a stalker of that poor girl. HAH! That being said, you never know with fate. The same thing happened to me many years ago - met the person, never followed through that night and dwelled on him for months afterwards (and yes, I drove down his street a few (hundred) times! I knew the street, just not the house) Almost a year later I ran into him downtown, just like that, and he told me he'd thought about me, too, and wished for something more. At any rate, we ended up being together for ten years - not my soul mate, obviously, but I'm just saying ... you never know! I sure hope you meet her again!

from benzene :

Yup, I'm back in Conneaut Lake. It's so gorgeous here, and I'll be so sad to leave in a few weeks. One of our lab mates is recording swamp sparrows (the species I worked with last year) and might swing by Erie soon! Hope you're well!

from misfitstray :

I so always avoid to make decisions. Especially when they might hurt me. It's just a thing of being strong. I'm not strong, when it comes to things concerning my heart. Thank you Steve for all your notes! Why don't you live nearer? Damn! I guess we would have some good conversations when we would meet in real.

from misfitstray :

you are so right! He should know and stay professional. Besides all the other differences between us. Religion, age, body height and -weight... But I really enjoy the time with him. We can talk endlessly about everything. He's a good man. Too good for me.

from misfitstray :

so, what were your times on the 800 and 1500? I count with a time around 21-23 minutes today. I never was a sprinter and never will be. Not in swimming nor in running or elsewhere. I guess I would probably be "good" in marathon or longer distances in swimming, but the thought alone to have to run for such a loooooong time makes me not wanting to do long distance at all. I'll stick with Olympic in Triathlon.

from fifidellabon :

Swimmmy, thank you! You have been such a big help in my recent troubles. You have helped to steady me and have helped me to look outside of myself better. Thank you! XOFifi

from misfitstray :

Thank you Steve! As far as I am informed there's noone else who wants that job. They were searching for someone for quite a long time. And I know that they want me, because I have some experience with GMP and Quality systems in pharmaceutical industry. That interview is going to be all about salary, working time, working place, working conditions etc. So, I'm 99% sure... And I am really really glad. Now it depends all on my will if i take it or not. Salary will play the most important role now.

from misfitstray :

two men wouldn't be bad too ;) Fact is, that there are more than one standing in line for me, but I don't want them... No, we don't have Walmart over here anymore. They tried to get a foot in the german market but weren't very successfull with their american working policies and had problems getting/keeping employees, etc.

from annanotbob :

xxx

from annanotbob :

Thanks for your note, Steve. I am, I'm fucking knackered. It's awesome, but I'm knackered.

from misfitstray :

well, I trust PT in this with my training. I would train even more, if he would let me. He says "Regina you'll get faster in your recreation phases". So I train exactly what the schedule says. Don't worry about me, Steve :) I'm going to be fine and I will win the World Championship ;) you'll see

from misfitstray :

Thank you Steve :) I really am going to train that really intensive as I don't want to loose hardly worked out minutes with crappy transitions. You know I am ambitious ;) Sometimes I wish I would have your peace to enjoy and not be the competitious... but then again I have to know...

from lobo21 :

hi ya, just a Happy Easter note.

from lobo21 :

hi ya, just a Happy Easter note.

from fifidellabon :

Nah, I think that you will always be THE Swimmmy and we'll all just pick up what we need! Happy Easter! Don't eat too many chocolate eggs! XOFIfi

from fifidellabon :

Everybody likes haggis, silly! They just mightn't know it yet. Just close your eyes and think of it as spicy meatloaf. Well, you are the second person to decide that Fifi is from Scotland. I think that I rahther like having no concrete info on this. It makes me happier to have anybody think that Fifi is what they get from reading her. I didn't explain that very well, did I. Like this---my Swimmmy is most likely different from Anna's Swimmmy, and Misfits' Swimmmy, and anybody else's Swimmmy because we get different things from you even when we are reading the same entries. And I think that that is wonderful! XOFiFi

from annanotbob :

Thanks for the add Steve and the advice. I'm too brain-dead to respond tonight, but I'll look into it tomorrow. Cheers.

from fifidellabon :

Swimmmy, you are a very sweet man. Thank you for all of your wonderful notes lately! XOFifi

from misfitstray :

http://www.autoplenum.de/Bilder/P/p0015769/OPEL/OPEL-Corsa-1-7-CDTI-Enjoy-mit-Style-Paket--2004-2004-.jpg That's a pic of a car like mine. Mine's just blue. It is an Opel Corsa enjoy 1.7 CDTi. Diesel engine with 101 PS. Build in 7/2005. Normally I would get around 7000 EUR for it but they offered me just 3500 EUR for it. Government gives people 2500 EUR for very old cars if they wrack them and give them 2500 EUR again if they buy a new one. So, not very good chances for sellers of used cars at the moment. Government wants to get rid of old and not ecofriendly cars... I don't have that much time as I guess that this development of the economy will last longer than my bank is willing to wait 'sigh'

from violetwoman :

Steve! I've just joined a great writer's site chock full of online courses - one yearly fee gives you access to at least 200 courses, from one to six weeks long. Only $69 a year, but the first year they tack on an extra $30 for 'processing.' Anyway, it looks like fun, HOWEVER... If you want to try a course for FREE, they offer a trial beginner creative writing class called F2k, and I've signed up for it. Why don't you? We could do it together. You have the talent, you know! As I do, I just need to learn so much more to improve my writing. Anyway, think about it, here is the main link http://writersvillage.com/100/index.htm And here is the free course link http://writersvillage.com/f2k/fiction-course-syllabus.shtml It starts May 20th. Be brave, Steve, you know you want to!!!! *hugs*

from misfitstray :

+ am ;) and that sounds like a very good and healthy attitude towards sports to me. At the moment I am more into competition. I guess I need to show myself that I can do it. And yes I can :)

from misfitstray :

I relieved ;) Yes, training is getting heavier. But PT says that I'm in a pretty good shape right now and he's afraid that I will get too early into the competition-shape. How about you and competitions this year? Any plans?

from misfitstray :

hypocrite? hm I hope it isn't me as I can't identify with that at all. :)

from misfitstray :

Took the quiz and it says "Organized Healthy Tree Hugger" hm don't know if I m a tree hugger...

from misfitstray :

Thank you Steve. But I always pressure myself and have too hig expectations... *sigh* I know I'm dumb.

from fifidellabon :

Ah, that's "assume", not "assune"! XOFifi

from fifidellabon :

Swimmmy, those beers are all brewed by Yard's. I heard yesterday that there will be a wider distribution of them than they are now. I'm going to presume that one could assune that PA will be in the first widening of the circle. There are about six of the beers that I know of, and they all seem to have presidents' names on them, and Jefferson's is deffo from a recipe of his. But really, it is a lot more fun to go to the tavern. The craic is brill, even though the building was actually reconstructed, so it is a replica, not the real thing. XOFifi Pee Ess I loved your idea about the language change!

from violetwoman :

Steve! Just dropping in to say HI. I don't seem to frequent Dland these days - I don't know - the days are just whizzing by! and I'm keeping busy which surprises me. The cold is still with us, as you well know. Hurry up spring. I hope you're enjoying your trip very much and have a good time with your sis! xxxooo

from seattle-rain :

Mmm, the east is beautiful in October. Yes, being free to wander is something I look forward to doing with my husband.

from seattle-rain :

That's really weird! I sure do know how to fix it but I had some problems even in coding this template. Of course, I don't have the patience to put anything REALLY quality out and I put all of 30 minutes into this template:) It seems to be working now, how about on your end?:) Anyway, the big move east is 32 days away!:) What is your next destination?:)

from fightn4life :

I hope this isn't a double post...once again DL thought me to be a "spammer." Sigh...I love the contrast between the two photos�as I looked; I thought about this�with out one it might not be possible to see the true beauty of the other. From each they project a splendor of their own. I pondered on this only a few days ago when the cold and blowing snow gave the impression of the surroundings as being desolate�I felt an aching for spring when life around me felt �alive.� I know you will feel a void as you no longer have an opportunity to �dance� with one that you have felt a connection with. It is sad at times that some come into our lives to waltz for a lifetime while others just a season. Those that have touched my life for only what feels like a moment once they are gone I continue to visualize even today. How I move forward with out the void is to have a �knowing� we will once again continue our �dance� with them, although, maybe not in this life time. I believe there is a �spark� of sort that allows us to meet souls/spirits we knew before our time in the flesh�they are not forever lost to us and we will meet once again when our time here has ended. It will be at that time we will understand what we are incapable of comprehending as we continue our journey through this life. Just my thoughts�Sandyz

from misfitstray :

yes, camping for two more weeks. I did run three times during the week I was there. But it was pretty cold in the early morning hours when I used to run. But the moon was shining brightly, pretty romantic, huh? :)

from violetwoman :

Hey Steve, great pic! Always nice to put a face to the name! You know, it's the strangest thing...I was logging into d-land and wondering if you were getting the same Arctic blast as we were. So I also opened up my weather page and entered a search for Erie. Meanwhile, your blog page comes up and voila! there you are in the freezing weather! *listen, it's weird, eerie music playing....* Anyhoo, it HAS been stupidly cold - supposed to go down to -27 yet. Coldest I've been in - my nostrils tried to freeze shut on me! Yikes! Have fun on your 'balmy' winters' hikes, eh? :)

from violetwoman :

Steve... The main thing is that 98%, isn't it? That is so much more than most people have, and too many pine after the 'ideal' of love and settling out of desperation. I hope you find your gal on some mountain trail one day - keep your eyes open! *hugs*

from misfitstray :

it's easier to stick to plans and camp when you don't have that much money left for something more expensive ;)

from violetwoman :

Ugh, I know we're in for the long haul. I remember when we arrived here on May 8th last year, I was shocked that it was still so cold - no leaves on the trees, daffodils JUST popping up... But as I may have said? (not sure) it isn't the cold that bothers me, it's the danged high winds and blowing snow. Scary type weather! Ah well, here now, must endure!!! :)

from nudeplatypus :

While NYC may be quite different from Oklahoma, I've come to the sad conclusion that a heck of a lot of people never leave middle school behind. It's quite sad really.

from misfitstray :

ok, and I do enjoy my time off, most times. I at least try to. But it is totally wonderful to not have to got to work! Thank you!

from misfitstray :

protect not pretend

from misfitstray :

I know, but as far as I know, do stones not have that much feelings and that will pretend me of doing some really dumb mistakes!

from boxx9000 :

MERRY CHRISTMAS. Peace, Love, Health & Happiness in 2009

from misfitstray :

Thank you. She died long ago, but I always miss her. Always will.

from fightn4life :

Looks warm and cozy to me...a good nights sleep is all that matters. Sandyz

from violetwoman :

Okay, Steve, so I was expecting to see a crummy photo of you after your comment! I was looking in the trees thinking you were perhaps a fuzzy blur in there!

from misfitstray :

you got my email?

from moonbaby8u :

thanks!I think its a funny as heck kind of picture.

from misfitstray :

sometimes I think, that we maybe should make a trip together... I think that would be really good

from violetwoman :

Okay, so I left a comment a couple days ago and as usual, it froze on me halfway through. So I left a note saying "why oh why do I use that comment thingie when it ALWAYS freezes on me" so I'm leaving you a note instead. Just as I pressed 'send' the power went out. So I gave up for a couple days but here I am! Just thought I'd let you know, haha, the stress I go through to leave you a comment! Nice snow pics, btw - I'm sure it will be our turn next!

from misfitstray :

YES! And thanks :))))

from misfitstray :

well, I trust my personal trainer (PT) in that. We are working on basic condition in primary. That's what's missing. The conclusion of the condition test said so. I have really good substance to build on, but bad basics. I trained too hard before. Basics must be there before you can get further on. *sigh* my patience is more strained than my muscles...

from sunpowered :

In the Sonderheim pumphouse picture, who is the little grass house for? An endangered species? And are those three critters slicing through the water beavers?

from lobo21 :

If I haven't mentioned it sooner, thanks very much for adding me to your list of favs. Thank you kindly.

from misfitstray :

some people would say I'm "man-ly" or some of that sort :\ But I think I should be proud and I am pretty independant when it comes to carry heavy things :)

from catsoul :

Congrats to your friend, her little Ess and you. A baby changes the journey for all that are involved. Enjoy!! =^..^=

from violetwoman :

Steve, thanks for the advice - next time I'm in town I'll check it out. And yes, I guess I AM roughing it - it's actually like camping when you think of it, though being in a tent would be something to brag about! We're keeping the tap running so our water won't freeze - it BETTER not freeze, and I'm hoping the power doesn't ever go out when Simon isn't home! No matter - this is still infinitely better than that crappy apartment!

from misfitstray :

I know that you are not in Utah right now. That was crystal clear to me :-). Never been to Utah yet. Just the western states from Washington state down to California, New England States, Mass., Virginia, NC and NJ. I guess I wasn't far away from Erie when I once drove down from Ontario back to Boston through Pennsylvenia. But that was loooooong ago.

from fifidellabon :

Swimmmy, I've missed your entries. Although writing a story must be awfy hard. I've had the very devil of a time with only just the mechanics of writing this note! And I am not even drunk...I hope you are well. XOFifi

from misfitstray :

Thank you. Maybe I can find someone who can take a picture of me in them. I don't know if I will ever get the promised pics of J. *sigh*

from hitch-hike :

Thank you for the kind words and insight about the career matters. I guess you can say this move was "calculated" without being "calculated" (lol). I do hope all goes well with me & Gzilla, especially if I end up not getting a new job offer!!

from misfitstray :

:-) and :-*

from violetwoman :

Oh Steve, I would LOVE to watch that video! Boy, as soon as we actually GET high-speed in this area, and then, if we can afford it, I'll be watching chicken videos! Before we moved, I was watching squirrel videos - some of those were pretty hysterical, too.

from misfitstray :

Thank you again for correcting me. Maybe sometime it's going to be better. I'm fine but VERY tired today. Was out in the movies yesterday with my collegue. Nothing happened. Maybe it was just the hormones of my thyroid playing alarm with my body. Hope you are fine too. How's your cough?

from violetwoman :

Ahh, Steve, I'm on dial-up so I can't watch the video :( Thanks for thinking of me though! :)

from boxx9000 :

10-31-08 HAPPY HALLOWEEN

from violetwoman :

Hey Steve, just received your note. I tried to access the chat thing but my stupid computer wouldn't do it. Were you on chat? Is that what the 'users online' box means? :) Anyway, thanks for the note. Yes, some things never change. I knew we'd run out of money, for sure. But Simon IS looking for work, and I just can't get too stressed about it. What am I saying, I AM stressed! Oh well. Can't trade in the hubby just yet!

from misfitstray :

I mused a lot about building monuments and gravestone since yesterday. I can understand somehow people who want to have something to remember and maybe show their respect for them and show that respect in the size they build it, but it is so useless. They should better write a memo for their memories and publish it in the newsletters from time to time or create holidays as rememberance days. Trees and bushes and flowers - all other livings things are so much more beautiful outside. And I guess a redwood tree e.g. can be VERY impressive too.

from misfitstray :

Thank you! Corrected the entry. Some words I have to look up and I don't know how to use them in the right way. I mostly write english instinctively which would feel right to me. I'm an absolute loser when it comes to the science of grammar.

from misfitstray :

but as far as I know Rocky's have a lot more higher peaks than the Alpes... highest peak is the Montblanc with 4811m = 15784ft... Highest peak of the Rocky's is Mt McKinley with 6195m = 20325ft. But that doesn't matter as all the mountains are so beautiful!

from fightn4life :

Hi Steve, when you went through Everett you were in the little town I shop, work, and go to writers group in. I live 20 miles from there and it is the closest town from us. Glad you enjoyed your trip through this part of the world...and yes, it is hard on a car, Sandyz

from fightn4life :

You are not far from this part of the world...hope the colors are looking good. Sandyz (When trying to leave a comment it tells me to copy numbers or letters...but there are none displayed. Crazy Diary Land!) Sigh...

from misfitstray :

Thank you :), but you know my opinion ;)

from fightn4life :

Pictures are awesome...you sound like you are having an intriguing trip. (Diary land comments didn't work. It will not show the letters to type in. Crazy place) Sandyz

from misfitstray :

Not always that big, but there are so many different things out there which are beautiful in their own way. But I felt like having a change. So at least I didn't cut my hair and changed only the look of my blog ;)

from misfitstray :

Thank you, for always giving me a note for my entries :)

from misfitstray :

Mountains are one of the reasons I want to move to BC. Hopefully one day I'll be brave enough. But hills are beautiful too. I like everything outside as long as it is nature. I love your pics of the autumn landscapes.

from misfitstray :

No, no, no, I'm definitely no cutie!!!! I am normal! But nevertheless, thanks for the compliments. I was totally drunken that evening. Best was that I drove home by bike and police didn't catch me biking drunken. If they would have, my driver's licence would have been gone for a loooooooooong time :)

from manzypanzy87 :

Hey thanks for the comment! Your fall photo today looks beautiful! We're starting to get that kind of color around here. Couple more weeks and it'll be amazing!

from manzypanzy87 :

Hey thanks for the comment! Your fall photo today looks beautiful! We're starting to get that kind of color around here. Couple more weeks and it'll be amazing!

from misfitstray :

you are so very welcome and have a nice canoeing trip!

from catsoul :

That Fall Foliage picture is so great! Well done!! =^..^=

from misfitstray :

oops, double post... *g*

from misfitstray :

Thank you for your compliments on my crappy pics :) Mostly there is only one more bike in that rack, sometimes 3, never more... I bike everything inside Munich. Just use my car for trips to the mountains and visits outside Munich and for vacations of course. I like traveling a lot. I would do it more often if I would have more time (and money ;)) Take care!

from h2ophobic :

#8 on your list reminded me of something I've always taught my children. Yes, we're supposed to be nice and think of other's feelings. But, you must sometimes do what's right for you, in spite of what others think. If they choose to be hurt by your actions, that's they're problem, not yours.

from teranika :

Yes, I've been watching the debates and feeling disgusted by what's become of NPR. There is this sense that we can't fix the environment because of the economy, without any realization that they are indeed linked....

from misfitstray :

*lol* Ok, I will think about it, after I saw a picture of you. And you'll have to think about your offer after you saw me ;) I'm just a normal looking woman. No beauty, no model, quite normal... Yes, camping in January and February. That's not bad, even if temperatures are highly below freeezing. I had showers outdoor in that season as well. There are worse things out in the world. I'm a tough "bunny" ;)

from misfitstray :

yes, everything is well. I wish you a wonderful vacation!!!

from misfitstray :

Got it. I just wait on the other pics. And you'll get the "full load" ;)

from misfitstray :

I think that was the only reason you added me ;) Please, give me your email adress, I'll forward the pics to you. I don't think that I will ever post them here on D-land. I'm too embarrassed to do so...

from fifidellabon :

Hallo Swimmmy! You must be on hols now. What a nice chunk of time that you have saved up! XOFifi

from violetwoman :

Oh haha, very funny. That really IS my hand, though, seriously. Don't you love the manly callouses and the grimy nails? Yes, I thought so. Did I laugh at your note, boy, did I ever. Phew. I had to look at the picture again and and laugh some more. My hand, indeed... :) I suppose Simon COULD do with a little moisturizer, though, and perhaps a good manicure, haha.

from misfitstray :

so, how fast were you in swimming? Did you swim, when you were young? (Your nick name says it, I know) I did, but I just made it to the german masters (only in relay), not good enough for international championships.

from misfitstray :

your words in Gods ear... I am able to run for a long time, but I'm not fast, that's the problem. And yes I have exellent muscles in my legs ;)

from misfitstray :

Well, mostly I know more what I don't like but what I like. But if it then happens I know it definitely. Btw, you are so right about your last entry with money and shopping and how easy it is made to spend more and more money. I'm a victim, I have to admit.

from misfitstray :

Thank you for your kind words and the note and for adding me. I feel a bit honoured ;-)

from fifidellabon :

That was awfy well-mannered for someone who wanted to be obnoxious! XOFifi

from benzene :

Hey, that's so cool you've seen the Beaufort ponies too! We got a better look at them the next day, and they were much cuter. Good luck with the downsizing -- I'm making good on my net-zero-gain policy here, and it's been really de-stressing not to be surrounded by a bunch of clutter. Is there a Freecycle where you are?

from benzene :

Hey, thanks for dropping by! Nope, I'm not from NW PA, I just lived there this summer for a field biology project, and now I'm back in NC now that the semester's started. It was beautiful while I was there, and there was good biking too. I gather you've experienced the Spillway as well? :-)

from sunpowered :

So, your brother and your sister-in-law gave you a massage the other day...

from sunpowered :

I got your email re the hotel mini-fiasco, but the server was swamped so I couldn't respond. But I fixed it! It turns out I did exactly what you suggested before I read your suggestion. Great minds think alike. Love you, miss you, admire you!

from moonbaby8u :

I think he just may be hung up on his own past...and me?Im just to afraid to let people know how my past was.They always say the past will come back to haunt you...I firmly believe that its there as a reminder NOT to make the mistakes you have already made..and if you do?Well...one day,you will learn.

from moonbaby8u :

HA!!!Good to know my dear friend...good to know...

from fifidellabon :

Swimmmy, you are a very sweet man, not to mention thoughtful. Some girl is going to be very lucky! Thank you for your kind words! XOFifi

from fifidellabon :

Wel, you are a cheeky one! But, surprise! I poured the Coca-Cola into the glassffirst , then added the ice! I never did get used to how much ice is available here! XOFifi

from moonbaby8u :

yup....but not here...ha.Email me at [email protected] give me your email...k?

from catsoul :

So what inspired you to do toes? I really loved the movie, "Bucketlist." I like the bright colors by the way. Looks good. =^..^=

from chasha :

I don't know. They've been saying for eight years that the airlines have been on the brink of bankrupcy. Funny that not a one has gone out of business.

from lobo21 :

Thank you!! You are most welcome to drop in anytime, converse if you like and any opinions are appreciated!

from lobo21 :

Hi. Stumbled upon your page. Like your writing very much. I hope you don't mind if I drop by again.

from catsoul :

Hi, I love the photo of all those hanging, colorful thingys! What are they? That is the way to display them, having one just wouldn't be enough. =^..^=

from chasha :

Do you just embed the html code in the entry?

from chasha :

WOW, you are a great photographer. How do you get your photos linked in your entry?

from fifidellabon :

I was thinking about the friend loss thing. Some friendships just seem to have an expiration date. I think sometimes that one goes away because another is coming...xoFifi

from teranika :

Yes, Taughannock and Buttermilk are the two that I remember! I went there once with my boyfriend Rob in the pouring rain. I loved it. I also went to several waterfalls in NY on Geology fieldtrips (although I'm less familiar with the PA stops). Upstate NY is so beautiful. I completely understand the pilgrimage!

from hitch-hike :

You'll pick up a hitch-hiker!? I might not give much in gas, but I can cook and clean :-D And also amuse you with crazy stories and whatever I cook up in my noggin! You're so funny!

from fifidellabon :

Oh, Swimmmy, they are by no means all ready. This was only just the first, and I must confess, when I bought the plant, this one was started. But I am looking forward to many, many tomatos. Tomatoes? To "e" or not to "e"... And cherry tomato confit! mmmm! Also, I do have three aubergine that are started. xoFifi

from boxx9000 :

The court program I worked for was for kids in drug and alcohol rehab and I taught art and remedial math. Your program sounds like where the kids had to go if they got kicked out of our program.

from boxx9000 :

This is the pub we went to http://www.bearrepublic.com/index.php The beer I had was their BLACK STOUT.

from boxx9000 :

I used to work for the court and community High School and the kids really liked hearing from other kids across the country. There isn't really all that much you can write on a post card. But, now I am thinking that maybe your kids are in a different type setting, not a classroom?

from sunpowered :

DRIVE-BY NOTING! HIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

from torchstar :

Yeah! Regynn's voice is mesmerizing. I love that cute Mercedes Benz moment so much.

from enfinblue :

Thanks! I totally agree. :) Yes, the pics did the work. I'm all riled up about other stuff now though! Doh!

from enfinblue :

Hey Swimmmy, I just read your note about my apartment. Yes, good lord, it is so hot. I would not survive at night without the air con in my bedroom. (I put it on before I go to bed and then turn it off.) I've tried it a couple of times for the full apartment, but it really doesn't cool the whole place well. Oh well! I'll consider it sauna weight loss. :) And as for M., it is true that I have a handle on the situation. It's a nice memory but I am not upset or sappy about it. I imagine that I'll see him in September, and if nothing clicks at that time for whatever reason I'll be sad for a day or two...but really nothing lost and nothing gained. I had a nice time. Just wish I could feel motivated to date here. I'm such a lazy arse.

from enfinblue :

Yes, the landscapes are very similar, although the further north you go the landscapes get more austere (since it gets colder and windier through some of the year). Also we have one-tenth of the people so there are fewer towns. It's quite interesting to see how the landscape changes as you go north or south. The Adirondacks are quite gorgeous. Oh and I'm too independent to have even an imaginary husband ;), so don't worry - you're not on the hook for any imaginary credit cards. :) Though keep on practising that ass comment - it might come in handy one day. :)

from fifidellabon :

Ah...I see you've found deepest-blue. That poor thIng, she Is so messed up. I hope that she can stop hurtiNG herself one day. Easier said than done, I know...Fifi

from deepest-blue :

Hey. Yeah, so I get what you're saying and you're right, it's just a mood thing. Sometimes I can accept it and it's fine, other times it eats me up and it's not fine. It depends on the time of day, direction of the wind, what I ate for lunch the previous day, you know. The only thing that is constant is the fact that I feel that our relationship is approaching it's expiration date. Watch this space. Oh, and thanks for sharing too.

from enfinblue :

Thanks, Swimmmy. You're a sweetheart. Yes, I need to just step back and not panic. C. always says this to me, since I tend to panic when I'm not saving much money. But, it is true, I might be going through a phase with the bike. It is a great bike and if I want to travel on a bike it's a great one to have for training and...going! Thanks for the weekend wishes. Send me your good-driver vibes. :) Have a great one!

from enfinblue :

EXCEPT the blondes, swimmmy? ;) By the way, I'm sooo excited for you re. your Chalk Walk thing! How great that you are doing it! Very nice.

from enfinblue :

Thanks, Swimmmy. As always, you rock. Yeah, to be honest, I'm really rusty on the dating thing. I think it would be good to smooth out the wrinkles. And if I choose nice, sophisticated guys I should learn some interesting things about myself. :)

from enfinblue :

Oops I meant questions that get her understanding herself. I think that you and I are a bit different in some respects, but I do respect the way that you've tried to puzzle through things. And, as always, I thank you for sharing.

from enfinblue :

Swimmmy, I can't thank you enough for sharing that insight. I think it is a very, very useful one for me right now. This is why I love having this diary - I sometimes hear wonderful, wonderful things that change my thinking. One of my best friends told me once that she likes having me as a friend because I ask her questions that no one else thinks to ask her, that gets her understanding herself better. I think you just did that for me. Cheers and many thanks. And many blondes. :)

from enfinblue :

PS I know that you're probably - wise swimmmy - looking at me and thinking that I'm impatient and silly and flighty...but it's just that I've felt like I've been stuck in the same quicksand forever! Forever. :) I want something to come and haul me out of it. I should be patient and grateful though. Really, I should just chill out. That seems to be difficult for me. Maybe I should haul out my camera and go around taking pics of girls. ;)

from enfinblue :

Wish I could go for a run with you and hit the beach! :)

from enfinblue :

What I'm searching for is the thing that is not a passing passion. The only things that have been there all along are art and literature. So clearly the answer is somewhere in those. :)

from enfinblue :

Oh Swimmmy, you have no idea how great it is to struggle up a sand hill in your bare feet. It is very good for your form/stride, and so great to feel the sense of accomplishment. I love that kind of tough running, barefoot. I once had to race 13 miles on sand, although that was a bit tough because of the camber. Still, it is a good feeling to do it. I really was spoiled by living in Australia. It really has spoiled me for anything here. It's like living in the mountains - now that I've lived in the mountains the gatineau hills seem sort of unmagestic. I need to cure myself of this. :)

from enfinblue :

Oh Swimmy, of the Supra Swimmmys...I meant that Ontario is NOT the province from which any sane person would be importing THAT stuff. Yeah, the red dress was great, but I'm going to find another one. The truth was that it was just not comfortable, as it was snug on the bottom half. I dress well but I do not dress in an overtly sexy way. It's just not me. I'm more sophisticated and subtle. When I wear something that is a couple inches above the knee I feel self-conscious. It's just me. Something very fitted or short...not going to be something I'll feel comfortable wearing in public.

from enfinblue :

It was a joke, Swimmmy. Guess I should put in a wink. :)

from fifidellabon :

HAH! I just read that "I may NEVER bore you!" but I think it is because I am having a mega-whopperjawed morning...Fifi

from enfinblue :

Swimmmy, You raise a good point. But there might be an argument for slowing down, achieving nothing! Really, I just feel like I'm in the completely wrong occupation. I should be doing something like running an NGO, or doing something completely artistic. Everything else is a compromise or a complete throwing in of the towel. :)

from fifidellabon :

Swimmmy, I just added you. Although, I had thought that I had added you weeks and weeks ago! SSS (Sorry so slow!) /Fifi

from enfinblue :

I never answered your comment about jobs! You've mentioned a few times the reason for your job change and I applaud you for choosing something at which you feel your time is more your own. I think I'm talking about something different here, as the issue is more about doing something that I feel has more value and that satisfies a more deap-seated need. In truth, I doubt that I'll ever get away from "stress" per se. I'm not happy when I'm not pushing myself, and I don't see that changing at any time in the near future. What I'd like to do, ideally, is to push myself at something that nourishes my soul...just a matter of committing to that. I need to constantly be learning and growing, and I'd like to study some more, in fact...but figuring out how to finance it and where that is going will prove the challenge.

from enfinblue :

Some people do run in the morning to prepare for races, that is for sure. The real reason that most runners run in the morning - e.g. S. - is that it makes the training in the evening better. And the earlier the better, of course, so that that the greatest length of time occurs between the morning and evening workouts. I think we'd run at 7 and then do our actual workout at about 5 or 5:30, i.e. 10 mile tempo run, track workout, fartlek, etc. It was a good life. I can't believe that i enjoyed it, really. These days I find that running is more of a chore - I'd rather be spending my time reading or teaching myself to draw again or something. :) My interests have really shifted. But of course keeping in moderate condition will benefit everything else. :) Have a nice day!

from enfinblue :

Ah I get it..you bought the second pizza for the HG to enjoy as well. But seriously, WHO doesn't eat leftover pizza? It's the first thing i finished off when I got home today...

from enfinblue :

If you're ALL ABOUT THE LEFTOVERS, why didn't you eat the leftovers of the first! pizza? You know, I enjoyed the pizza so much last night that I almost want another one. I don't know what is wrong with me. I ate so much today, too. It's like I have a tape worm or something. (Really shouldn't say that!)

from enfinblue :

Swimmmy, Why TWO different pizzas? You know, when I write to you it's like you're one of the girls. I hope you don't mind me saying that - you're just one of those special guys who sort of fits in with women. That's a compliment. :)

from enfinblue :

YOu're such a swimmmer... :)

from enfinblue :

Swimmmy, You are right - we are better off independent than miserable in bad marriages. I forgot to mention thanks as well for your description of my potential travel destination. As I have no other vacation days this year I wouldn't be able to do wineries, too, but I'm thinking that maybe in August I'll leave on a Friday night and do a drive to NY state. I've been there many times, actually, as we would drive through the state en route to other parts of the U.S. And my brothers loved to visit Cooperstown. I think it is a very pretty place.

from enfinblue :

Swimmmy, I don't think you have any idea what you'd be getting into!! :) Incidentally, I think I might take a roadtrip this summer to that park you gave me the name of! I think I should do some road trips. Of course there is not that much time! But maybe early August. We do have one long weeked. Hmm...frankly I should get out of here for Canada Day weekend, only then I would have to take the Monday off and I really don't have much free time. Eek. Ah well. (As my boss informed me, after September I will not have vacation again until April or May of next year. EEK!)

from nixtress :

Thank you. I have a feeling, however, that it's going to be a long time before he's able to put everything into perspective and be thankful for my "interference". I just hope he realizes, at some point, that I did it because I love him. Glad to hear that things with your houseguest have not been intolerable. It's never easy to share your space with another human :)

from enfinblue :

Swimmer - your two cents are always welcome. Have a good night!

from fifidellabon :

Ned and I deffo run our cars into the ground. It makes no sense to buy new all the time. I'd rahther spend my money on other things...xoFifi

from enfinblue :

PS You seem very patient and kind re. your houseguest. THat is a long stay and it is difficult not to have complete control over your space. You're a kind soul!

from enfinblue :

Swimmmy! If I haven't told you before, you're the *sweetest* person! Thank you. I need to really listen to what you say and absorb it. It is very kind of you to say it. I'm definitely going to go on the road trip. For me, for sure, having a car would make no sense. I live less than 1 mile from my job; we have great public transit in Ottawa; even with a car I would buy my groceries and everything on foot, because I've always had ants in my pants; and storing and parking a car in my neighbourhood and in the winter would cost a fortune! (Plus I have no pets and no kids.)

from fifidellabon :

Swimmmy, why do you have two cars? Not a criticism, I truly am interested in the whys and hows. What are they? xoFifi

from boxx9000 :

I don't know how I missed that entry with your picture? I really enjoy being able to put a face with your diary. And, yes, you do look similar to what I had imagined you would look. Fit and handsome.

from enfinblue :

Ah no worries, I think I can make something of this and also make money. I will figure it out. I have put my thinking cap on. Right now I am concentrated on SPENDING money, however, as I'm so excitedly filling out my form for the British Institute. I'm also having a REALLY difficult time restraining myself from buying the most perfect dress ever...SIGH. I'm terrible. Well, not really. Except I can't sleep, I'm so excited about plans! But then when I don't sleep I get grumpy and stressed as I did yesterday (always a direct correlation between my worried entries and my sleep). Ha. Well, I wish you fine weather tomorrow. Definitely clean up that desk of yours! ;-)

from enfinblue :

But my friend, I think I DO want to go off on some quixotic quest for happiness!! :) Wishing you more sunshine. You're so much better than I am - I haven't run in a week! But then again C. thinks it might not be a good idea to jiggle my brains. :)

from enfinblue :

Thanks, Swimmmy. I genuinely wish the same for you. :) So now I have to figure out how to get out of my job... ;-) Have a great weekend! I'm going to go to the francophone music festival here. I'm making like a swimmmer.... :)

from fightn4life :

I have something I would like to e-mail you something that came to me a few days ago. It is an awesome slide show and the pictures remind me of ones you post. My e-mail is [email protected] I had yours but lost it when I put in a new hard drive. You will love this slide show. Sandyz

from enfinblue :

Don't scare me, Swimmmy. I'm feeling better but if something weird happens I will go to a clinic.

from enfinblue :

Thanks, Swimmmy. Miraculously I really think I'm OK. Just my hands hurt. :)

from hitch-hike :

hey, thanks for the add! I enjoyed your stuff and the rhythm of your life!! Keep up with the writing!

from enfinblue :

Oops can't write yet...I meant moreso than people in their late 40s and early 50s. I think that there are quite a few single and free late 40s women who have raised families and who are now doing their own thing following the end of marriages. Many of them are taking up sports late in life - running marathons, etc. They're probably fitter than I am. I'm becoming quite a slug, actually. :)

from enfinblue :

I just meant that the ladies that you catch when out and about are so young! It's great to hear about Paula, and also that she is of a good age. ;-) I do like older women. Well, I do agree with you that many older men and women are married or not quick and fun, but I do believe that is changing. These days so many people are getting active (well, more the educated ones, but still), and so many people are divorced and not remarrying. I suspect that I'm in more of a no-mans-land than you are (late 30s people are still married and raising young families, moreso than in the 40s and early 50s, I think, though I'm basing that on my own surroundings). Anyhow. Doesn't matter! You've found ONE, which is all that matters.

from enfinblue :

Hey my friend! Thanks for the kind note the other night. I really could have used a hug. The thought made me feel warm and fuzzy though. YOu're lovely. :)

from boxx9000 :

WEST? as in California? Hawaii?

from fifidellabon :

Mmmm...onions...I can't plant any root veg until I get the soil tested. We're over an old factory site and also quite close to a highway sort of road, so lead is a question as well. True the factory was 110 years and 5 floods ago but... I have also a bird garden. The birds plant it and I never know what will come up, but always sunflowers of all types, and corn. Corn! One year we had 40 stalks. Also there will be many assorted squash and gourd vines and some millet. Right now there are some dear little yellow flowers and something that looks like a tomato but I can't tell yet what it is. Your work garden sounds brill. /Fifi

from enfinblue :

Thanks, Swimmmy! I'm going to think of that every time time I see him. :)

from enfinblue :

Yeah, that's good advice. I should do that. I'm lazy. :)

from enfinblue :

Oops! I meant way TOO seriously. :)

from enfinblue :

I think you took my entry way to seriously, my friend! I, whilst I enjoy advice and learn from it, ultimately make my own choices. I am completely open to honest and well-meant assessments and commentary, on the other hand. I quite like having food for thought, actually. I think that this medium can sometimes be difficult for conveying the correct tone, at least for me, for that entry was really quite lighthearted in spirit. I seem sometimes perhaps a bit flakey or weak, but the actual truth is that I'm pretty solid and self-determining. And I'm actually much happier than most people, I believe, which sounds funny to write but I think it's probably true. :) So...never fear. Say what you like. I will always take it with a grain of salt. (PS The sentence in which I wrote in the entry that the idea is ill-advised included the word "would," not "will" :)) You know, when I think about it, I've done so many stupid things in my life that the things that I have been choosing to do this year almost border on brilliant by comparison. (Larry comes to mind now. :))

from nixtress :

Oh, yes, indeedy, we do like our BBQ. :P I know where Smokin' Joe's is, drive past it every time I go to the library over there. Just thought it was ironic :)

from fifidellabon :

Swimmy, every time that I have to say "witness", I say "witless", to see if anyone notices! /Fifi

from enfinblue :

Oh my friend, you only wish that you were "royally intercoursed" (what WOULD one do without Mme. Fifi?). ;) I'm teasing you. Yeah. I've always, um, felt this way. I don't want to make stupid financial decisions anymore because I think it is important to live in the world. I don't want to waste any more time. But appreciating that beauty doesn't have to be grand or foolish will help. :)

from enfinblue :

Oh my goodness was Larry ever an idiot. He had a collage of JS pictures in his office. Crazy! I'd rather forget that I dated such a fool. Definitely, I was, um, expecting too little for myself. Oh, and it does make sense. I really want the Italy thing, even if it takes twent years. Now I need to make the money. :)

from enfinblue :

Thanks Mr. Swimmmer, of the so cute turtle pics swimmmers! Sorry about that. Good advice. I really lost it today. Honestly, I got caught up in facing my biggest fear. I really have issues when it comes to work and financial security. I have had so much flux and change in the last year and a half that I am fragile on this point. I had overestimated my strength. But it's good to work through this, as you said. When I talked to my boss today he said he'd understood that I was just being honest and thinking about looking around. He said that we could work together to see how we could make things better for the next while. I more or less said that I would keep going to try to make the investment in me worthwhile, but that I would need to have a better idea of where my career is going, soon. Thanks again for listening to my crap - good advice. You make a good friend, my friend. :) Hope you had a great day!

from enfinblue :

I'm in full panic mode now - really didn't need to hear the scorching bridges comment.

from nixtress :

I'm glad you're not having any issues with your houseguest. It's hard, when you've lived on your own for a bit, to adjust to having another human being under your roof!! As for the concert, I DID have a good time. I was trying to keep an open mind. Long story short: the gal I went with is a swinger, makes no bones about it and tends to like to...recruit! I wasn't sure how that would play out in that setting. Overall, it went very well. She was a complete flirt but I wasn't uncomfortable at any point so I call it a success! Keith Urban surprised me because, although I like his music, I didn't know he was that good with a guitar!! Kenny Chesney just came across (to me) like he had a big head but I'm not going to complain much. It was fun! Happy Memorial Day!!

from enfinblue :

THanks! I know. I am just impatient because I have spent too many years of late holding and waiting. Fear holding one back from doing what one wants is something that I'm trying to banish. Hope you got out into nature this weekend.

from fifidellabon :

Oh yes, you are still on the good list. Apparently I was referencing someone's specific entry. Duuuude was I ever drunk last night!!! /Fifi

from fifidellabon :

WELL! Talk about being drunk!! I got you mixed up with another noun-letter. But you seem a good sort! /Fifi

from fifidellabon :

Swimmy-thanks for the note, I am totally putting you on my good things list. You are totally rockin' and I think that you get awesome notes. Pee Ess, I am totally drunk but sincere, Pee Ess Too, doesn't Bluey rock?!!! /Fifi

from nixtress :

I think it'll be fun. Like I said, I'm not a huge country music fan but I love to people watch so that, at least, will entertain me! Plus, who could turn down a free ticket, to a concert I don't have to drive to?? The boys are going to be in safe hands and it's time out for Mom, something I don't get a lot of. How're things in Steve-land? Houseguest on premise yet?

from enfinblue :

I wholeheartedly agree with what you said about what makes a person, a good life. But you misunderstood the heart quote! You must have four arms rooted in the earth (i.e. legs and arms rooted). So...the heart thing was talking about doing what you know is right for you, without being distracted by thoughts that are guided by social structures that you have learned. It was definitely not talking about romantic love, for example. :) Cheers.

from nicim :

5/21 Feel free to "steal" my words any time. And I'm glad they gave you something to think about. XXOO N

from hadassah :

oddly enough he's the man nextdoor. Lol

from enfinblue :

Oh my friend, thanks for your note. I hope that I have the strength and persistence to fight through the fear and get through this. I know I'd be a lot happier doing something else, but then again in my secure job at which I'll eventually be making more money I have the security that allows me to plan the stuff that I can do in future. I've been without security for a long time before and I must admit that it was very, very stressful for me. At any rate, my plan is very non-specific at the moment, so I'll coast with it and see if it takes me anywhere. The only concrete thing that I need to decide is whether I will change into the job at the other department or just stay at my current job for another year or more. We'll see. :)

from nixtress :

Yepper, I very much know the ache of family, good and bad. I hope you're able to find some peace in the midst of it all.

from enfinblue :

Thanks, friend. I think you can imagine how heartbroken I feel for the moment though. I am just too sensitive and emotional for my own good. :)

from fifidellabon :

Strange, I almost never read your diary, but I always read your notes! /Fifi

from enfinblue :

Oh my lord. So I just went to the entry in which you calculate your age in days. I should have guessed your age from that comment you made a while back about retiring to your RV and social security in 12 years...guess I just figured that you were going to retire early. Honestly though, after walking aroudn with the Australian guy who is 58, your age doesn't seem so high. :) He was actually a pretty fit and young guy in terms of his lifestyle and interests, so perhaps you are too. :) The thing is though that I can't avoid offering my age. If I'm going to be dating or on a dating website, it is one of the most important pieces of information for people. It's unavoidable that it be shared. I guess I just have to hope that I will find someone decent who has an open mind about these things. And maybe I should be aiming for that to be a description that I could use for myself at some point. ;)

from enfinblue :

Thanks, Steve. You're a doll. I must admit to having a rough day. I know that what you say is true, but right now it doesn't feel true. I think it's going to take me a while to adjust. :) Hope you are well!!!

from hadassah :

Thanks for letting me know. Tell me a bit about yourself.

from enfinblue :

Yeah, never fear - no eighty year-olds on my radar at the moment. I must say though that the guy yesterday looked quite good for 80. I was rather impressed. My landlord is much the worse for wear and I suspect that he's 15 years younger. The difference in effects between Italian and French philandering, perhaps? ;) Anyhow. The bike guide from the other day is I suspect about 35. He's Irish with green eyes and reddish hair...which is my absolute FAVOURITE in that grand paintbox of beautiful items of the male persuasion. :) But anyhow. I don't want to be some desperate hungry woman chasing after some guy. I'm really happy and doing art practise is a good use of my time. There will be time for cutting a romantic swath through...well, Ottawa...this summer. Take care and enjoy your romantic and other goings on!

from sunpowered :

You goofball.

from enfinblue :

You are such a troublemaker! I will put them up again. Honestly, I'm just feeling so not good about myself right now. A bit of the lustre is gone out of things - I keep hoping and hoping that I won't always have to travel the road alone...and then I do. See, no one ever comes along for me with the "slow approach" :), so I have to empty myself by the other way. :) When I feel this way though I know that I should just go to sleep - things usually look better in the morning. I'll hope, anyhow. :) Take care and thanks for your kindness!

from enfinblue :

You are really such a doll - thank you, thank you for your kindness and caring! :) I'm glad that you're going to try again too, as I said earlier. T. is right though - lots of people have found good friends and relationships (work and otherwise) through the Internet, and that's a higher level of communication than through the tv... I still agree that going out with real people is much better, but each has its place. It's knowing the place...

from teranika :

Yes, me, too. The computer took over friendships when I moved to NYC (but then again, I didn't have time for them when I had the social disease known as being a new professor...so I could also argue that the computer saved my life by giving me SOME contact with people.) Nevertheless, I think you are right. But do people who use computers just use television less, and therefore are one step MORE connected in their sedentary lifestyles?

from enfinblue :

I feel so tired and not great though today - I'm afraid that I won't be *able* to be myself. I do want to meet him before Italy though, since otherwise I'd build him up in my mind to be more than just a guy...:)

from saltofthesea :

f/f = friends/family. you can totally be in on the entries and photos - you just need to have accounts on each respective site so you have access. you'll need a flickr account and a livejournal account. that's only if you want to keep up with what's going on with me personally. otherwise, you can keep up with what i'm eating at blogspot. that's the only journal that's fully public.

from enfinblue :

I'm just locked up - not about you. I just need to lock up for a day or two. :)

from enfinblue :

I do hope you know that I was joking around about the border. It is huge and unmilitarized and thus porous, but... Anyhow. I want to thank you heartily for helping me to cheer up and relax. I don't know why I had a bit of "la lundiose" today. Anyhow, only four more days of work. Europe is lovely simply because the concentration of lovely art and architecture is marvelous. I love traveling in Asia but the stresses and strains are different and somewhat greater...plus the flights LONG. :) I once was in transit for 36 hours, mostly in the air. UGH.

from enfinblue :

Well I hope you're joking about the Molsons...I thought you had taste in beer? ;) The point is that if not traveling by air I think you're still good with other documentation. My goodness, to imagine that you couldn't get back into the U.S. Rather amusing! :) I always enjoy going to the U.S., because it feels "official." When I come back to Canada, every time, I laugh my head off as I approach some friendly dude or dudette at customs and get more or less a "Welcome to Canada!" (grin) and a wave through. We're such a bunch of goofy beavers up here. It's no wonder you guys worry about our porous border. Kidding! Dudley do-rights do work very hard. :)

from enfinblue :

OK. I've got to go to bed now, but I have to ask you: Have you never had the desire to go anywhere else in the world - to see the pyramids, to be immersed completely in another way of living, to see the water spinning in the opposite direction in a toilet bowl south of the equator, to watch the migrating wildebeasts, or to be in that silent space in the air above the Marianas trench? I konw that the US is beautiful - I've seen a lot of it - but what about the other continents? ;)

from enfinblue :

Well, I don't know what you mean about Canada being taken from you...unless you have a criminal record you should be able to get a passport. :) Also, I just did a casual search and although a passport is required to reenter the U.S. if traveling by air, the requirement for travel by land or sea has been delayed by Congress until at least the summer of 2009. I thought I'd heard that when drowsily listening to the CBC one recent morning. You should keep up with the times, friend. :)

from enfinblue :

Besides, I thought they'd waived the passport thing for a while. What do I know. I have a passport although it has been in my drawer for the last year. The last trip that I took was to NYC in April '07, and only on the coercion of my Italian friend. We had a rotten time - she was a horrible travel companion, and my friend with whom we stayed was having a fight with his girlfriend. I do love NYC though.

from enfinblue :

Actually - funny story for you about Saturday night guys. One of the guys was a colleague of a friend of mine. On first glance I thought, "CUTE!" and then, as is the usual way with men, the evening proceeded, he flirted with me. I did my normal thing of just being nice and interested in what he had to say -which wasn't very interesting at all - and no more...and by the end of the evening he was trying to take home by far the drunkest girl in the party. (I mean, I was drunk. But she was DRUNK.) And oddly enough I just remembered this now. I now remember our other friend saying to him, "No! She's too drunk." Oy. You really *are* excitable! And no passport? Ever? You seem like a rather worldly person to not have a passport..

from enfinblue :

Notice that I spared you the idea of racing me on foot! :p

from enfinblue :

Uh huh...I'm all about the tongue twisters. I think that you and I are similarly afflicted, as I've said before. It's really too bad that you live nowhere near here - I'd love to have a laugh over coffee with you, or race you in a canoe or something. You're quite amusing. :)

from enfinblue :

PS I hope you know that I'm unlikely to take dating advice from someone who has been dating even less than I have in the last few years! That's a feat. :)

from enfinblue :

Incidentally, nice header picture. Finally some *blues*. ;) I agree about running when hung over, but yesterday morning I was beyond hung over - I was totally unsteady on my feet. Not good! You know, I think I can be a little bit too excitable too, although I really try to control this. For me it is mostly about anxiety, and I can't stand it when this takes me over. Hence the focus on the now. I know I'm lucky, but how soon do we forget what we have in yearning for what we don't? :)

from enfinblue :

Yeah, you're right. I wasn't interested in anyone from Saturday. I was flattered by the attention but not very excited. The one guy seemed OK. I suppose I'm a bit impatient, or at least I feel sometimes as though I should be putting in more effort to meet a range of people. It is likely true though that it is not the time. This summer I will get out and about for a change and I'm sure I'll meet eligible men. :)

from enfinblue :

Well, I created one. But I do feel some trepidation. Weird about online identities. marathongirl121 (ya...dot com)

from enfinblue :

Actually, scratch that. I'm so open as to be imprudent, I'm afraid. I don't currently have an address that doesn't use my last name. I suppose I should get one. :)

from enfinblue :

Sure, if you like. You can find mine in Fifi's recent notes. I should try to get off the computer sometimes though. :)

from enfinblue :

Your wish is my command. My turn to hop on my bike! :)

from enfinblue :

Gee, I'm sorry for all of this correspondence. :) No, not from the improved dating site. I let my profile be visible again on the other site, since I'm debating a bit about the utility of the other site. I suspect that many of the same guys are on both, or have tried the first one and then moved on to the other, plus I'm not sure that I want to pay that much money. I'm in transition. Sad though that I find it all entertaining. Pee Ess..An italianate photo up that I'll likely take down in a moment. You seem to like photos. Actually, I find people's visual style to be interesting. It's clear that you're attracted to autumn colours, for example, for all of your photos and your home reflect these. You'd probably like Australia. And the coffee interest is...interesting. I, too, was a bit of a beer snob. Sadly, no more. :) But I can become a whisky snob! And a wine snob! I don't receive coffee by mail, but I always do buy my coffee from a specialty shop in the market. It must be fair trade. :)

from enfinblue :

Good question! Or at least a question that I can handle without my coffee! Dark roast, taken black. Ooh I will be savouring those yummy espressos in Italia! But then again I also like that sweet Thai coffee made with condensed milk. But only occasionally. And capuccino is also nice. Most days though it is a nice Ethiopian dark roast. :) You?

from enfinblue :

I'm just teasing you. It sounds like we live precisely the same limited although pleasant existence. :)

from enfinblue :

Yes, I know. I'm really lame. :) I should go to bed, or at least shut this computer down. You're amusing, young lad.

from enfinblue :

No! No! We were watching American newscasts, because of course we only watched American tv. (Psst...In case you haven't heard...Canadian tv is mostly...unwatchable. :)) Not that I do much tv watching anymore, but I digress. I did when I was a kid. I wanted to be Maryann! Or maybe Ginger. I'm not sure! Anyhow. I must tell you though that the only redeeming feature of my year in NF was that we KNEW the lady whose husband OWNED the Tuss@ud's wax musee there! Yes! Really! And he owned a number of other places. She lived in the property behind us and used to take my brother and I out to meet cool people like the world's tallest woman! Really! :) I know, I'm lame.

from enfinblue :

Ah dear Sir, I know the story of Buffalo. I have quite an affinity for that part of NY, actually. Growing up mostly in Toronto of course the new items on the fires of Tonawanda and so on were pretty much unavoidable. When I was 12 I lived for a year in the worst place imaginable - Niagara Falls, ON. Yes! Just across the river...

from enfinblue :

Birds of a feather! Nothing is glamourous in Otterwa...

from enfinblue :

Oh, and although I joke about the dress and tights, this is pretty much the scene that I replay every time I go anywhere. I love to dress up like a lady but I *hate* to be early for things (and also am never late). I've spent half of my life booting it in high heels of some sort. :) Now my feet hurt, unfortunately.

from enfinblue :

By the way, I'm the most smirk-y-est, impish-est person in the world, so when I'm joking I'm smiling. :)

from enfinblue :

I don't know, swimmmer...Christmas in the bedroom, even if the lights don't come on? Wait, that doesn't sound so good. ;)

from enfinblue :

Ha ha. I like a man who is professionally responsible.

from enfinblue :

Oh you crazy young lad.

from enfinblue :

Hey, that is not refridgerator clutter! Those are carefully selected items of personal importance...that I've forgotten to take down! Incidentally, whenever someone tells me to do something I always do exactly the opposite. ;)

from enfinblue :

Oh no no - no one ever keeps me up. :) Incidentally, the man of the hour is back up. You're quick.

from my15mins :

this is going to sound weird, but i'm going to do it anyway. cause being weird never stopped me. i'm going to go sit in the dland chatroom and see if you show up. if not, i won't cry or anything, i just thought i might be an interesting experiment. :p

from enfinblue :

Oh I wouldn't be such a pessimist :) - the love gods will surely smile on you, or blast you with electricity or something. As sayeth the French, "a coup de foudre." I think that it's about the right combination of self-awareness and so patience and specificity, and just a general openness to feeling and risk and blah blah. You kind of know when you get there. I knew, for example, that I really wasn't there a year ago, or even two years ago. In fact, when I met my last "boyfriend," I really thought "Gee, so soon." Now I see that my judgment was impaired by a hit that my confidence had suffered in the few years preceding. Anyhow. This is just a note to say that my intuition tells me to have confidence in you! And as you can guess I'm of the relatively firm conviction that I am never wrong! Good luck. :)

from enfinblue :

I mean February '07 and September '07. :)

from enfinblue :

To be honest, I think at this point it is much more an issue of finding THAT person. I think it used to be the other, but I'm not there anymore. The problem I think it is that I'm so unused to looking up that I appreciate the attention from people who aren't even good matches for me. I'm only just starting this dating game. I literally haven't dated since last September, and between February and last September I did so only wholeheartedly. And prior to the rotten mismatched boyfriend before that, I was too preoccupied with difficult PhD studies to give it a bother. I think I need to wait to see and consider my options. A further difficulty is that I think I'm a more challenging match than many. Incidentally, article for you: http://www.walrusmagazine.com/articles/2005.10-global-warming-future/1/. A bit dated but you know the problem with economies is that they're often largely artificial, given the interference of political boundaries and all. :)

from enfinblue :

Actually, the student for six years thing is wrong - for the better part of 5 I was a grad student, and then before that of course I was trotting all over as a well-paid distance runner. Not! :) I sold all of my previous stuff to go to Australia in 1998. So I sort of understand your desire to pick up and drive away...

from enfinblue :

Ha ha very funny! I actually only have one quilt, it has a funny story behind it, and it covers the comfy armchair that I LOVE to death because it is ugly and needs to be replaced with a sofa...which I haven't bought yet. I was a student for six years prior to August of 2006, so I haven't bothered to invest in much furniture and stuff. Truthfully, I don't care about stuff. I'm happy with what I have. But I'm sure that I will eventually buy a sofa and so on. The most expensive thing in my apartment at the moment is actually my 3K bicycle. Funny! :) Yeah, I love my neighbourhood. Too bad that everyone else in it is old and married and fastidious or young, stylish and...gay. :)

from enfinblue :

Oh lordy I need to go to bed or the national tax base will suffer, or I'll tell the _inister that something costs 1 bill when it actually costs 10! ACK! But I wanted to say - I wish I could populate Ottawa with people as generous and interesting as those I've found online, you among them. :) Thanks a great deal.

from enfinblue :

ACK! Sorry about the third post. I forgot to mention that it's funny that you said "shy quality." You're probably right - guys always tell me that I have a girlish quality, even though of course I think of myself as a serious, card-carrying quantitative modeling economist she-woman. Not. Have a good evening.:)

from enfinblue :

I'm not sure if that made sense. I think I've finally overdosed on myself. Filling out questionnaires and reflecting on the desired attributes in every potential miraculous partner is really exhausting. I'm going to turn to new subjects in future. Have a great evening - look forward to reading what you post next.

from enfinblue :

Thanks! Honestly, I find the whole picture thing kind of embarrassing. I should probably though make some effort and have some pictures taken of me when I'm dressed up and not sweaty and holding the camera myself, for a change. I don't know - I think that I'm much more attractive in person- to people who will be attracted to me, anyhow - since a person in person is all about the expressions and gestures and so on. You can't really get that from a photograph. And things like voice and smell are so important. But one always feels so judged on film. It's not a nice feeling, to me, at least. But I suppose had I had the opportunity to be photographed by Henri Cartier-Bress0n. But ENOUGH already about me. I am completely sick of myself. What about you? I am very interested to hear an elaboration of the piece that you posted last night...the tree in the forest and all; the lone pine, burdened with snow. ;)

from enfinblue :

Nah! Nah! They are all just dissing the Sens right now, and a few will have merely shifted their allegiance back to the Habs. Sigh. I'm just grateful that there aren't yabbos walking down my street throwing beer bottles as they walk to the sports bar at the end. Sens fever is over for another year. :) Listen, I just read your touching and thoughtful entry. I imagine that we could have a good discussion on this subject, but my headache forces me to save it for another time.

from enfinblue :

Thanks! Different? That sounds like change! :) Hmmm...By the way, I'm liking your chalk drawings...

from enfinblue :

Oh, and you have a nice weekend, too!

from enfinblue :

Oh good grief that entry of mine was unintelligible. I think my brain has turned off at this stage in the day. :) Oh yes, the guys online...they leave one...wanting more. Yes. I would think that you would do very well online - women are *starved* for men who can write well and who are polite and engaging. Not that I'm encouraging you to try - I find the process quite demeaning, really, but I kind of wonder if at my age it's simply too difficult to meet available single men in the appropriate range and out and about. I mean, we're all so busy. And most of the club activities that I do involve women or married couples. I do have a friend who wants to set me up with a friend of a friend, so perhaps I can try that. I don't know. I just feel that after a long gap of time it's my due to *feel the magic*, have the *coup de foudre* again. :)

from nixtress :

I know what you mean. I'm going to strive to keep the best interests of the school at heart and not let these "thorny" people get too far under my skin but I'm surely going to be doing my fair share of venting! I'm sure this particular person is just thinking of the school but it feels like one of those "backseat driver" situations :P Sounds as if you're contemplating a new swimmer-ette...I hope she's worthy of you :)

from fifidellabon :

How about gout? Is that a deal breaker?! BWAH-hahahaaaaaa!!!!

from fifidellabon :

Hallo, Swimmy, I see you stopped by. Did you get stultified by it? I deffo plan to spend some time in your archives. ( I read your notes to Bluey so I feel as if I knew you a bit) /Fifi

from sunpowered :

And if you don't want to answer, please just disregard the question. Much love.

from sunpowered :

Haha. Sorry for being so forward! But I think you know me well enough to understand my directness with you is purely in a loving way.

from sunpowered :

Who is that to?

from enfinblue :

I definitely agree with you, hence where I find myself now. At the same time, sometimes I wonder...Have a nice week!

from enfinblue :

I think you have hit the nail exactly on the head: one gets what one thinks one deserves. This is exactly what has been holding me up for so long! I think I'm starting to realize this...I also think though that it's good to just have fun and enjoy life with no expectations. That's another thing that I have in mind to do. Take care and have a great weekend!

from boxx9000 :

beauty is beauty whether it is bikini clad or not. There just isn't enough beauty in this world.

from saltofthesea :

Comments page is broken or something - it wouldn't let me leave one. Wow, good thing he got back to you. So the whole issue was your Supergold membership was expired?? Hmmph. What a rip off. HA! The new header's pretty cool. I wouldn't mind if you changed it up EVERY week.. but you know how I am with template changes.. :P

from enfinblue :

Hey that's really nice of you. I'm not sure. It really struck me as odd. I'm old enough that I can usually tell when a grown man is actually interested in me. :) Sorry about your diary. Good luck with that and do let us know.

from ivyparker :

It just isn't there..wondering where your diary went too.

from saltofthesea :

That sucks that your diary is still broken. I wouldn't hold my breath in having Dland staff get to the problem. I remember sending them something years ago and it was never responded to or fixed. I say if you don't hear anything by next week, you make a new diary.

from violetwoman :

Yes, I've got the blank page thing going on, too. AGH, I can't read you!

from enfinblue :

Hey, thanks for the note. I can't read your page, either. I'm in full agreement about not wanting to be tied up in long runs. I'll never regret my marathoning years (2:40 was my best), but I doubt that I'll want to relive the fatigue involved in the training. It's nice to just occasionally go out and run a long run just for fun. Sometimes what I do is amuse myself when I travel, by running to some new place. I might do this in Italy, e.g. by running from, I dunno, Florence to Pisa. I'll have to look into it. I once ran all around Seoul and did the same in some smaller places in S. Korea. It's simply a neat way to get around - under one's own locomotion and all. Take care. (OH and thank you for the kind compliment.)

from nixtress :

Hmmm...your name was lit up all red-like so I clicked and it came up with a big ole blank page. A Dland screwup or a glitch? Hope your week is going well :)

from enfinblue :

Hey, thanks for the note! I look forward to taking a look at your diary. I, too, and trying to find enjoyment without competition in other sports at the moment. :)

from torchstar :

Hey there. I am an X-Erieite- Really from Millcreek once upon a time, and I live in San Rafael, CA for 20+ years. Wanna be Penn(sylvania) Pals? I do...

from boxx9000 :

just stopping by to say *hi* thanks for the note over at my place.

from saltofthesea :

It complicated things for a little while. But that was a long time ago. Something triggered the memory today and I had to write about it. Phew!! Hahaha

from sunwillrise :

hey! thanks for the note :) i'm trying to keep up with it. keep readin' *e

from saltofthesea :

clowns creep me out. unless they're like, drag queen clowns. or something.... (-_-)

from sunpowered :

HAH!! "the most quantifiable retirement planning I've ever done". I can't stop laughing!!

from nixtress :

Thank you for remembering my birthday :) Very sweet of you! I just finished reading a book called "Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer, about Christopher McCandless. And when I saw Alaska on your list, my blood froze for just a second. Then I thought that you probably have more sense than to traipse off with only 25 lbs of rice and a sleeping bag, into the wilds of Alaska. You'll make sure I don't have to read about you in the same way, right?? (and if you haven't read it or even saw the movie, I recommend it!)

from bi-pet :

alaska rocks. it should definitely be number one on everyone's list. do not miss homer... and denali...

from sunpowered :

Two things you wrote of recently that stuck with me: dying, and memories fading. I'm sad to realize I've lost a huge portion of our time in OKC. Let's talk about what we remember so you can bring back what I lost, and maybe I have a jewel you've forgotten. And then on dying, I envy your fearlessness - I am afraid. Of both the process, and all the things that will inevitably be left undone. From monumental things to dirty laundry & dirty carpet. On the bright side, I own nothing embarassing, so my family will have one less thing to worry about at that time. Task-wise, I want to prepare an Advance Directive this week. An article I read recently made a startling point: we say "if I die" instead of "when I die". Like "if I go to Europe" or "if we move to the country". So, WHEN I die, I want to be cremated. The funeral industry makes me bristle - the thieves. Ok, bye for now. ... OR IS IT???!!! Mwah-ha-ha-hah!!! Dunt dunt DUNNNNNNNN!!!!!

from sunpowered :

I found that business on my aerial view - so neat to see it from the air.

from nixtress :

Merry Christmas, Steve. I hope you have a good holiday and know that I think of you often.

from recentmoon :

that's comforting. thank you. :)

from sunpowered :

Is that about Nicole?

from sunpowered :

I love the shot of La Sal Mountain Loop Road with the gloomy storm clouds coming in. I'm right at home in that shot. Until the sun comes back out! Great shots, as always. You look great, by the way.

from absolutheart :

OF COURSE I WILL DESIGN A LAYOUT FOR YOU YOU SILLY BOY. I just want to know what you like. Email me. I'd really like to create something to showcase your awesome images. Please don't hesitate to contact me.

from absolutheart :

It's great to see your updates while you're traveling. I was just wondering something.. how come the text in your entries is all justified to the right? It makes it kind of hard to read.. Since you have been pretty hard headed about me helping you design your diary (I don't know why!!!) you might want to find one that doesn't warp your text and images. I'm viewing your diary in Safari, but it looks wonky on Firefox too. Here's a good source: http://pinkfreak.niftykeen.net/design/archives/templates/index.html

from violetwoman :

But hey, you finished! Small comfort, I know, but just think - you're in the top 1 percent of the entire population! I mean, how many of us can run a marathon? Eh? EH? P.S. please disregard this if it appeared in your comments section. I seem to have an issue with that comments section and my notable words to you seem to disappear in thin air!

from absolutheart :

You have the eye for beautiful girls sir. I hope you're enjoying the summer days and nights..

from boann7 :

=)hi

from absolutheart :

Thanks Steve. All the photos are from my drive home from work. It's an ongoing thing I've been doing for the last 2-3 months? It started with a friend asking me for a photo every day whilst driving and it's become sort of an obsession. It's fun though. I'd like to see it all come together when I've got hundreds of photos.

from tiedupinyou :

right now you're the only person that i can talk to about this who might understand the feeling i'm having right now. it just dawned on me that all the dreams i've been having lately have actually reflected what's been happening for Him in his life, at that time. i know i'm creepy or something for holding on to something like this so fiercely, when all i can do is WRITE about it and absolutely nothing else (never speak of it), but in some weird way, it made me feel even closer to him, realizing that my dreams have been reflecting his life. and a little crazy. can two people be THAT connected?? is that possible? i've read about it, but in real life?? sigh. and that's all i had to say. thx for being there in the void for me to randomly dump on. :) later.

from absolutheart :

I threw the template together last night after editing a bunch of photos from the Bahamas. I needed a change and wanted to use some of my own imagery rather than borrowed photos. I feel it's a lot more my style now. Thank you for the note.

from absolutheart :

Thank you for the message about Nika. We miss her so much. I can't get over it. I keep expecting to see her or hear her when I come home. She will be sorely missed for a very very long time.

from swimlady0 :

Oh the stories I could tell you of his "big band". :P Do you have any idea what kind of music is Tab Benoit for the second to last concert?? Hopefully I'll meet you someday. :)

from violetwoman :

Steve, you walked TWO miles?!! I can't believe it. I tell you, I'm holding my tongue - I'm feeling the 'mommy' coming out in me! Honest to goodness. The man walks two miles right after his hernia operation..... :)

from sunpowered :

Your shot of Alison Parker is hypnotizing! What a sight to behold.

from tiedupinyou :

pretend: if thats true, and we're pretending... you HAVE to say it to me. you HAVE to tell me all of that... are u busy being 'a good guy' and not saying it b/c u think i'm happy and u love me so much that thats all that matters to u, my happiness? and u don't want to ruin it? or do u simply not love me the way i thought u did, the way YOU MADE ME believe u did?? i want u to come to me, fight for me, PROVE to me that it was true, our love, without me making you... but this is just pretend, right? im not her. im not your her. i wish i were, this would all be simple.

from tiedupinyou :

I honestly don't know what's worse, believing he never really loved me, or knowing exactly how much he did now that it's too late. I live in a secret hell. Shhh...

from absolutheart :

HAHAHAAH!!!! I didn't mean your hole silly. I blame it on the 'mones. Your innocent entry was gutterised by me. I hope you're having a great/safe 4th!!! SHOW US PICTURES!

from sunpowered :

Steve, would you email me? I don't have your new email address. Missssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!

from keystroker :

i love your recent entries! i don't keep up with dland as much as i'd like to... i espp. love the way you write about everything and insead of it being mundane it's INTERESTING... anyway. are u on facebook? i'd love to FINALLY be able to put a face to the mysterious man behind the words... i'll email u my info. take care!

from fightn4life :

Thank you so much for your comments and understanding. Although fear of the unknown often sets in, I know my faith will get me through. I do believe when it is all said and done and my husband leaves I will be better off. He is working on his truck so it will make the trip/move. Sometimes it feels overwhelming to think about being on my own in this place under construction. My dad is in the process of moving and my brother already sold his place and is living in town at the bottom of the mountain. Both say up here is a hard life. My love of the country is what feels right instead of going into town. If my decision is incorrect, I'll sell someday and make a move. Right now, I am better off staying here where life will appear a little normal. Thanks again for keeping in touch. (I have to add�your pictures are awesome!!!) Sandyz

from absolutheart :

best wishes and a hasty farewell to the hernia.

from fightn4life :

These pictures you post take my breath away, thank you so much for giving us the visual you experienced first hand. I spent the day with my dad yesterday and he could barely put into words what he experienced while at the Grand Canyon. He told me he saw things he never knew existed. I am so glad he had the opportunity to see a part of the world he had yet to venture. He said he took only a few pictures because he felt they could not validate what he was witnessing. I am so glad you shared this with us. Sandyz (This is the third day I have tried to post a comment, I keep getting a message saying I am a spammer...Who ME? DL has gone bonkers. :(

from voicescarry :

Thank you! I'll post links for the good stuff,and you can always search my name on the paper's Web site. Or use plain ole stalker-friendly Google. But I'll keep you in the loop, I promise!

from absolutheart :

sad times. diaryland hasn't let me update in a week because i'm not a gold member. i'm thinking diaryland has bit off more than it can chew and needs to clear server space faster and bring in more fricken features. i'd consider paying if they self-archived and allowed more server space! WAH! WAH! WAH!

from voicescarry :

If I could update my damn diary, I would tell you that my nerves were a fluke and I GOT THE JOB! I start two days after I get back from Guatemala, and I'm SO EXCITED!!

from violetwoman :

Hey Steve, the deal is done in that have the owners have accepted our offer. Now, we have to wait to be 'approved' by some local board which protects exisiting farmland. They're supposed to phone and interview us, to make sure we're not going to wreck/subdivide the land, I guess. The realtor says this is a mere formality. It better be, 'cause I'll be mortified if they decline us!

from fightn4life :

My dad and his wife started their vacation this Monday, destination, Grand Canyon. I hope they have a wonderful time as you did, and take the time to see all that you did. Thanks for posting these pictures; I feel closer to them now. Sandyz

from violetwoman :

OMG, Steve, even if I MADE it to the bottom, I'd NEVER, in a thousand years make it back up. I suppose I could, but I'd have to camp along the way and it might take a week! The heat alone would do me in. Kudos to you for doing it, and you are a lucky man to have been there and experienced its beauty.

from nixtress :

Hope you have a great weekend :)

from violetwoman :

Patience? Nooooooooo! I want it all NOW. I'm getting older by the minute here.....

from sunpowered :

100% right about opening up an old closed door. So glad I didn't give in to that urge. It was pure nostalgia and unchecked sentimentality. Plus it was for a time in our friendship that pre-dates Drake. When she was still the Lana I loved. After Drake, everything changed, and nothing I shared with her was ever truly private anymore. She's very kind, and not a tattler, but realistically her priority was on her boyfriend. As it would be with anyone. So thank you for your levelheaded advice. You saved me from opening Pandora's Box. Thank you.

from sunpowered :

It's Drake's girlfriend. She & I worked together at ASL while he was our boss. He treated me horribly, but she was my best friend.

from sunpowered :

Swimmm, want your opinion. Thinking about calling Drake's girlfriend; remember her? My old best friend before her bf ruined my life? Will await your response before proceeding.

from boann7 :

thanks for your note

from sunpowered :

Woops, four years, actually. Just did the math. Happy Sunday to you!

from sunpowered :

Just left you a vml - now my number is on your Caller ID. I'll call when you get home from work tonight. Off-subject: Are you ever EVER going to go through and clean out your Favorites List? My only annoyance about you. ;-) Not bad for five years.

from sunpowered :

Dear Devil's Advocate, an appointment with you for pleasant conversation is wanted and requested. How do you respond to this invitation? -Horizon-hearted friend

from voicescarry :

My god, what a pain in the ass. Good luck with all that!

from absolutheart :

yes!! thanks for keeping my head up. :) the summer is going to be awesome. ahhhhhhhhh

from absolutheart :

5 miles??? oh wow. i feel like such a slug compared to you. i need you as a coach. hahahaha... hope you have an awesome weekend.

from sunpowered :

Hi!

from voicescarry :

I love how "the usual crapola" includes fish birth control. Made me smile.

from absolutheart :

give your fish to me, but they'd probably just die. :(

from nixtress :

Grounding for Trev is actually a fairly harsh consequence because he hates being alone. He's always been that way---can't stand to be in his bedroom by himself, doesn't play alone, etc. So making him stay there, without the option of company is like ripping out his toenails. However, it's an appropriate consequence, considering I gave him ample warning and explanation that what he was doing was considered backtalking and I wouldn't put up with it. Back to the Asperger's, ya know. *sigh*

from nixtress :

I'm so sad :( You haven't updated in a whole 4!!!!! days...lacking inspiration? That could probably be fixed, ya know!

from take-2-daily :

Thanks for clearing that up.

from take-2-daily :

Nice room, is that a Christmas tree I see in the corner?

from take-2-daily :

I choose risk taking, I mean to broaden horizons as well. ;)

from absolutheart :

and so it is. i doubt i'd ever give this up, but seriously, the only person i read off of dl is you. and you may be the only reason why i even update here! i should change my diary to "letters to steve". hahahah. are you still listening to the mix? hope it has filled you with aural love.

from nixtress :

Thank you :)

from boann7 :

if that dream came true..with that beautiful man...happiness would fill me up and overflow and spill all over the rest of the world. =)

from sunpowered :

It's so hard to not adore you. :-P

from nudeplatypus :

Apparently, I'm just a dumbass. I've asked everyone in this school what DW-G could possibly mean and I've come up with nothing. Let's just hope that it wasn't important.

from nixtress :

I took a third option and mixed the first two in dealing with my mood, as detailed in my latest entry. Hope your weekend was kind to you.

from sunpowered :

HAVE WE MET?!? Do you remember me?! Swimmmer, Swimmmer, Swimmmer. You of all people know me well enough to know this is not a case of good things coming to those who wait! You know how marriagephobic I am. This is a case of him finally giving me a critical mass of reasons to AGREE to such an invitation! :-P But you know, no matter what you plan on or expect, life is always going to have a lot of "we'll see how things go" to it.

from nixtress :

Mail is always welcome. :)

from sunpowered :

Hi, been throwing pebbles at your window for a week now. Where you is?

from violetwoman :

Steve, you should get a bike odometer-thingie - see how far you pedal! I used to bike so much; we both have perfectly good bikes stored at my dad's place. And we'll follow up with Simon, that's for sure. I'm thinking we're BOTH going to be pulling up our socks, exercise-wise, pretty soon! Great pic of you atop the mountain, btw!

from nixtress :

Re: challenges of 2007. The last, specifically, made me laugh :) Keeping one's self out of trouble is always a challenge! Sounds like you, as well, are being pretty realistic about your "resolutions" for the year. I can't help but think that you HAVE to be if you honestly expect them to work. Anything too outlandish and you're setting yourself up for failure. Hope you had a good night!

from nixtress :

I'm trying to keep everything in a healthy perspective, sort of my own gift to myself. Figure that's going to help somewhere along the way :P Are you ready for a new year?

from nixtress :

Merry Christmas!!

from nixtress :

Thanks :) I'm very happy to have things back their norm again.

from violetwoman :

Hi Steve, yeah, kayaks are really pricey here. This one is actually $750 but I factored in the paddle and lifejacket plus taxes. And this one is just a plastic one, and is the cheapest one we could find. (it's about 10.5 feet - he has to have room for SOME stuff, like knapsack and birdseed!) We looked for used, but found nothing in our local rags. Where Simon will be paddling is across a narrow inlet where the tides can run very swiftly, and the waves reach a two-foot chop, and this is what they recommended. The real ocean-going kayaks here cost a bundle. I don't know why they are so reasonable where you are, though I do know things are cheaper in the States. Run one up to us, why don't you? :)

from nixtress :

Hmm...if I wake up to snow, you're so in trouble! I should expect it and I DO, it's just that this current trend is so odd.

from nixtress :

I'm a middle-of-the-night kind of person myself. I like being awake when most others aren't because everything's so much more peaceful. When I was much younger, I preferred really early mornings but that's eroded into nights as I've gotten older. Something about not wanting to shut down, I think. Or maybe it's just easier than waking up.

from nixtress :

I've pretty much washed my hands of 2006, to be honest. At this point it's merely a winding up of loose ends for the year. I'm looking forward to opening up a new calendar and seeing empty spaces on it. Thank you for the kind words. I just keep plodding along. Hope your Wednesday goes well.

from fightn4life :

"Moving along entry, Nov 12,)I'm like that too, reminiscing about the year gone by, well almost end of the year. For me this month is a time when the past, present and the future collide. Those are some awesome pictures; I too hope you can go Kayaking again before more snow flies. This time of year I think about horse back riding�hum�maybe I should stop thinking about it and go for a ride up the mountain. Sandyz

from ncss :

Ooooh!! Can't wait for the details!

from nixtress :

Yay for good karma.

from nixtress :

Eek. I forgot to save your email addy and deleted that particular note from my collection (don't like to leave fodder for the Spamgods). Can you email me or send it to me again?

from nixtress :

Will do. Thank you :)

from nixtress :

I worked 2nd shift for nearly 6 yrs and some of that involved Sat/Sun so my "weekend" always fell on Tues and Wed. Certainly changed THAT concept! My current weekend is kicking along. I've got a few things I need to stuff into the early part of the day so I'll be scooting quick-like but the evening looks promisingly mild. Going to cook, listen to my boys wrangling with my little sis and veg. Exciting, hmm?

from nixtress :

That was sort of my thought. If I'm contributing to my own stress levels, then maybe I need to re-evaluate what I really want to accomplish. Doesn't mean there won't be some guilt involved that I can't be SuperMom but I am who I am and that's all I can be. Weekend shaping up nicely for you?

from nixtress :

Okey dokey. Actually, I had missed that episode of Grey's (due to Thanksgiving visits) and had to watch it via the 'Net the early part of this week. Was very ironic to hear that song played because it had only been a few days before that I'd first heard it and loved it. It snagged me in a big way.

from nixtress :

Yay. If not, I'll just secretly write down your list and download them all by my lonesome, then use a bright green Sharpie to mark it Swimmmer's Mix. That work?

from nixtress :

Ok, seems like we've got it all squared now. Thanks for the add :) Can I just say that I'm infinitely jealous of anyone receiving your Christmas mix?

from nixtress :

Hmmm...I tried to send diary info to YouATDiarylandDotCom but it was a failed delivery. Can ya tell me where else to send it?

from absolutheart :

TURKEY TROT!! I remember when I volunteered at the Y to pass out water to the trotters... that is so awesome. I have become extremely conscious of the fact that I am out of shape and have been punishing myself by working out. Hahahahaha... it's hard, but really, it makes me feel so much more awesome to be exercising and having a healthier approach towards eating. I need a kick in the butt now and again, but I secretly enjoy it. :D

from voicescarry :

Hah, you and I can be similar, but I know we're VASTLY different people when I read "simply put... I like to run." Crazy. I'll go hours on an eliptical machine, just to avoid running. But you almost make it sound like fun. So congrats, and happy Thanksgiving!

from sunpowered :

"4 bisacodyl tablets. i don't know what they do. i suppose i could look it up, but i think i'll just let it be a surprise." - oh my good Lord that made me involuntarily laugh out loud!

from sunpowered :

from violetwoman :

Ha, the ticks saved the day! Too funny. How do you know if you've been bitten - do you find them stuck on you, ewww.

from violetwoman :

Hey, thanks Steve, for your advice. Simon is all gung-ho to look at the Kodak program, but he must wait for now. We're still figuring out how to use that camera! But at least I know I can hit you up for some tips and stuff. It's all good.

from sunpowered :

:-) I love the hell outta you.

from violetwoman :

Steve! Ha, glad to know you still read me - I knew you did, but in a fit of insecurity..... Anyway, can I use KodakShare even if I have a Pentax camera? I know Simon's specific Canon program won't let me use it with my camera. Also, in the same vein of things, when resizing pics for diaryland, what's the best size to use, and to go about it? It's always hit and miss with me, with much cursing and many entirely too large or too small pics ending up on the page. Any hints there would be appreciated. Last night, when I was trying to burn only 20 pictures to a cd, the damned thing ended up with 240! All repeats, of course. Argh.

from sunpowered :

And in that universe I would know how to type parallel correctly.

from sunpowered :

Surely by now, you must realize, of course, in a parellel universe somewhere, I am begging you to leave your gorgeous pro-bono lawyer wife and run away with me to sell juniper bead necklaces from a roadside tent in Organpipe, Arizona.

from dope-slave :

CARMEN MY LOVE... I DANCE SO SWEET FOR YOU!

from sunpowered :

Oh, holding onto the desk key was a chess move on my part. I was not going to drop it off until I had that pay envelope in my hand. But NOW, with this morning's two conversations, I am taking a new tack - spiritual cleansing: donating the clothes I wore at the nursery that remind me of him. I'm not going back for the $24. But I will return his key. :-)

from ncss :

Hey there! I'm in Vancouver, British Columbia. I've been here now for a week and still have 2.5 to go. Before that I was in Winnipeg and before that Montreal. It's been a long stint away from home, but I'm trying to keep busy. I've been reading your NY updates! The WTC one was just so surreal to me. I suppose never seeing the site pre or post 9/11, I just can't imagine how big it really is and what it's really like. Anyway....enjoy the rest of your trip and keep updating :)

from sunpowered :

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I called you this evening. HBD2U.

from rockymtrangr :

Yeah...new site. Diaryland just hasn't grown quickly enough for my liking, and some of the others have more features for less money. Drop me an e-mail at [email protected], and I'll shoot you the new URL.

from boann7 :

i'm enjoying your photos. the snow its so silent and white cold. i really never grow too tired of it.. though i do love all the seasons. i think thats why i love it here. each season so perfectly represented.

from sunpowered :

I can't get over those wild rectangle stone formations at Fillmore Glen. Fab!

from voicescarry :

You met a GIRL? This is so exciting!!

from keystroker :

are you there?

from voicescarry :

Welcome back! I hope you had a fabulous time; you deserve it.

from clarity25 :

That trip sounds amazing! I hope you have a wonderful time and I look forward to seeing the pictures when you return. Thank you so much for your last note and for the caring advice you gave me. Have a great week!

from boann7 :

my feelings need to go somewhere..words are a safe place to send them. im looking forward to your photos that come from this next journey of yours. wishing you a safe trip.

from sunpowered :

I love that shot of the woods where you can see it's a wet day. I miss the woods. I miss rainy days in the woods. Hike, Man, hike! Absorb, drink it in, taste it all. And bring back pictures so we can taste it too.

from boann7 :

thanks

from voicescarry :

I love financial goals. They're dorky, yet so satisfying.

from sunpowered :

:-D

from absolutheart :

I definitely still have my favourites here. All of whom I still read because it isn't entertainment, it's really being allowed into someone's life which I respect and value. I locked my diary though because some people don't know how to respect that and took advantage of the fact that I was exposing myself. I really hope you continue to read because your notes and messages always motivate me. And I can't wait to hear how your romance blossoms!!! :)

from sunpowered :

In return, I will, of course, procure any Texas souvenir your heart might desire. Myself excluded. At least while Michael's still in the picture. Weenk!

from sunpowered :

A scrawny dude.

from sunpowered :

Baby-doll style, though, not man style. Man-style t-shirts make me look like a dude.

from sunpowered :

Or an ITAHACA IS GORGES t-shirt.

from sunpowered :

Send me a postcard?

from sunpowered :

Oh that? Yeh. It was ok. ;-) heh heh. I LOVED IT! You're amazing. Just absolutely amazing. What are you still doing up? I was just about to close up shop 'cause it's nearing 12:30am here! For Pete's sake, we both should get some shut eye. I miss you so much. I wonder why we are the way we are... This is insanity, I tell you, insanity! I love you, you damn Pennsylvanian you. Let's chat tomorrow afternoon. Sleep well and dream well. All my love. Now, on the count of three, let's both turn our compies off. 1... 2... 3. Love you. Good night.

from sunpowered :

I love you.

from boann7 :

thanks =)

from sunpowered :

oohhh-hoo-hooooo! I wonder what happens next!

from sunpowered :

I forgot to tell you, you chose the perfect picture on part 1, and part 2 did not disappoint me either. You wow me. You give me crazy thoughts you do. Sleep well. I send all my love. -M

from sunpowered :

You are a bad bad man. ;-D

from boann7 :

thanks for the nice note =)

from voicescarry :

Thanks for the advice and the compliment. How are you doing?

from keystroker :

*hugs* i haven't been around enough lately for that to have been on time, but i hope it's just as good late. u are strong, and have an amazing outlook on things. take care. -mindy

from i-never-said :

Steve...I am terribly sorry to hear of your dad's passing...I'm glad I got to meet him, and laugh with him...I know your family will miss him, and will never be the same without him...My condolences to you, and your family too...You are all in my prayers...Ali

from voicescarry :

Steve, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. You and your family are in my prayers.

from ncss :

I'm so sorry for your loss :( Big hugs from Canada.

from rebeckajane :

Hi, I'm here from Sandyz diary, I just wanted to say I am sorry about your dad. All the best, Becka

from violetwoman :

Steve, I'm sorry to hear about your dad tonight. I'm glad you're coping well enough - I can't imagine how I'd do in the same situation. I suppose we're all stronger than we think. Be good to yourself. *hugs*

from sunpowered :

I love you, sweetheart.

from absolutheart :

yes, that's it. it's kelp. :) phew. i was worried the pictures weren't showing.

from absolutheart :

Thanks for the note.

from nudeplatypus :

My grandmother was good crazy. She believed that her house was haunted and she also believed that she was affiliated with the mob and would often threaten people with said affiliation. Truthfully, her house may have been haunted. Or at least one room of her house. We could never get dogs to go into it. But she is definitely not affiliated with the mob. The rest of my family is bad crazy...drama, and fights and adultery and drugs and more drama.

from sunpowered :

I'll go read your email now, and hit the hay. It's late and I have work in the AM. As always, loveyoumissyou.

from sunpowered :

You always hit the nail right on the head. Your insight is always sharp and precise. Thank you for caring, and commenting. I love that brain of yours. And that big ol' fuzzy warmy heart. I wonder if you have chocolate running through your veins, Dayb.

from sunpowered :

I was wondering how you dealt with people shots. I'm too bashful; I'd never get any close-ups the way I am now. This winter I plan on learning how to use my cam; hoping weather will keep me focused long enough to learn how to do all that hoo-hah. Got time for phone call this w/e? Just to shoot the breeze. :-D Love you so damn much!

from violetwoman :

Thanks, Steve. I just saw your note - d-land, as usual, neglected to notify me. I've scoured the car, but will do it again. Left ads in the paper, so we shall see. I feel better about it, but still....best not to think of it at all! :( But as my mom always says, "Better than losing an arm or a leg!"

from candora :

I miss pictures

from camera-girl :

I clicked on your nice sunset-banner. I really like the pictures you post in your diary :-) Just wanted to tell you that.

from sunpowered :

I see the temperature is already dropping. Your little man icon says it's 64 degrees, and he's in shorts. I find that wild, as I'd have to get jeans and longsleeve shirt on in low 60's. But, there is a sadness in endings, and Fall is the end of summer, and all the associations with freedom that entails. And it signals that we're only going to get closer to the end of the year. Another year. And all the reflection and assessment that brings. But we can't forget - it's also nearing the archetypical Harvest time of the year, too. Good weather and luck means lots of produce to make the winter easier and a far cry more bearable than the alternative, a winter of scarcity. Down here, Fall's a way off. We will be in shorts and hitting the lake for a solid 6 weeks yet. But, down in our bones, some of us are picking up the faint, almost imperceptible frequency, like how animals know, that the slow shift isn't as far away anymore. Somewhere beneath the miserable hot days and 2 to 3 water bottles and wet clothes, some of us are sensed that Summer's peaked and is now ebbing downward. Maybe it's the funny faded look in the tree leaves, that don't glow as bright green as they did a month ago. Maybe it's the moment you notice the cicadas are gone, and the June bugs. And that lightning bugs are a distant memory. But you know, in your blood, the wheel is turning. It's just the sometimes gleeful, sometimes painful change of season.

from boann7 :

ok, good. i'm not impatient, just wondering if it got through the spam filters.

from boann7 :

i wonder did you receive that email i sent after the test one.

from boann7 :

i sent one to the address, let me know if you get it.

from boann7 :

i was going to send you an email, but the link doesn't have a good address. maybe thats intentional or maybe an oversight. just thought i'd let you know.

from sunpowered :

Just wanted to remind you of my five years. For me, those were the best times of my life. A very unfortunate relationship ruined it all though, I am sad to say. That time period is one of my absolute favorites. Miss you. Love you. Hang in there regarding your Dad. Don't worry. I think you're experiencing this the right way, and allowing yourself to be present. Most people cop out and turn to their pansy ass substances. It's going to get better. And it's going to make sense. And the most horrible parts, thankfully, pass through you the quickest. You are loved.

from pattymelt :

thanks for the note. i know. i just can't totally leave dland. it was a life saver for me when i really needed one. it's hard, without the daily drama to think of things to write about. i am working on a plan. you know, liek a real writer, to try and write something everyday. something...

from voicescarry :

He proposed, but only after she dumped him the night prior. She made him return the ugly $4,000 ring. They tried to work things out, which obviously didn't go so well. The drama is hard to keep track of, I know.

from boann7 :

thanks, thats nice of you to say that. watercolor is fun. a friend of mine said watercolor makes no pretension to perfection nor eternity. i think thats what i like about it.

from voicescarry :

You are so right about August. I HATE it.

from sunpowered :

Gracias, pero mi Espa�ol isn't mas mejor than sus Greek.

from boann7 :

from clarity25 :

I really love the pictures that accompany your entries lately. I hope you're having a good weekend:)

from voicescarry :

That's gotta be because of the lifeguard in you. Things were crazy stormy at the pool last night, and we just sat under an awning on deck and watched the lightning(because we have an average age of about 17 and we're stupid like that). I firmly believe that when I'm 40 and working in a newsroom, I will still scream "THUNDER!" It's a hard habit to break =)

from pattymelt :

you are lucky then! 'cause, even when there MIGHT be something, he looks at my boobs or away in distraction....and the moment is lost.

from voicescarry :

Too bad you didn't really win the lottery.

from voicescarry :

Absolutely perfect. Thanks.

from violetwoman :

Hah! I was so mad I couldn't think of any more nasty words; though I thought of lots more choice ones later on!

from voicescarry :

I function my absolute best with seven and a half hours of sleep. Don't believe the authorities.

from voicescarry :

I think "get an office" is a better situation than "get a room." Thanks for the swim team advice/commiseration. I was hoping you'd weigh in sometime.

from voicescarry :

It IS so complicated. Ack. But thanks for the encouragement

from voicescarry :

Super convincing. Nicely done.

from voicescarry :

"i don't actually play the lottery, so if my dreams are ever to come to pass, i guess i'm either going to have to figure out a way to do it myself, or hold my breath and see whether the gods see me as being worthy or not." - Wait, did you win or not? I'm confused.

from voicescarry :

HOLY SHIT! Congratulations! Now those Moab dreams are possible. Amazing.

from boann7 :

i want to not speak of some things.. because i am already healed of them and not because i am afraid... and thats the question i ask myself.

from boann7 :

my family thinks im nuts. my dad still hesitates to speak his mind to me... im the fragile widow that was in therapy for 3 years. this choice to get out of the money race and work from the heart, some are jealous of and some just know i need more therapy.. lol. my old boss keeps calling and offering me jobs. i keep turning him down. its not a decision that seems to be done with. i keep having to rehash it over and over. having to go there and question my first decision. i always end up back at this same spot. knowing that im truly happy for the first time in a long long time. and that makes all the difference.

from boann7 :

well i meant in the nixon election. jezzz that was a long time ago.. i remember standing in such a long line for hours too.

from boann7 :

hey , the first time i voted was for nixen too..lol... yes this stupid president can't be done with his presidency any too soon. he is a moron in a bad suit. i voted for him because i just didn't like al gore... now im hitting myself over the head. probably like a lot of folks. even a monkey would be better. im the only one in my family that feels this way. they are all republican. i am a registered republican. oh the shame of it.

from onlylittle :

please let me know if you'd like my new journal link... email me your address and i'll send it to ya (really don't want to post it here)... [email protected], kisses, mindy

from boann7 :

complete.. a word that feels like anathema to me at the moment. used so frequently to imply a single person can not be alone and happy. i rather think two can be complete and come together as whole parts. finding love in being complete and complimentary. i don't know , as ive never been in a relationship like that. but its something i will wait for. i do like your idea of a few missing pieces. but i really want to be a complete picture of my own. finding that other picture that just compliments mine in color and style. to hang next to mine.

from boann7 :

temptation... always there it seems. but im a stonger girl now. not overcome with grief. desperate to be held. he took advantage of my weak state then. but im not in the same place. i don't want to be taken advantage of anyway. i want to fall into the lake with my arms spread wide. but its got to be the right lake. not just any lake will do. glad you understand .. not many men do. you seem to be a different sort of man. thats nice. =)

from boann7 :

thanks =)

from on-a-string :

Hey Steve-o.

from clarity25 :

P.S. I forgot to say thank you for your caring advice regarding the situation I was dealing with earlier this week. Thank you, steve for reaching out.

from clarity25 :

This entry was heartbreaking. It's horrible what had occured in Columbine and the copy-cats that thought it was cool to follow such horrific footsteps. It makes you question our society and what cruelty our society is capable of. It's disheartening. You want to believe that there is a reason behind these events and higher power controlling all of this. But It's hard to see the logic behind it and to attempt to rationalize it.

from ncss :

I loved this entry. I wish I remembered last kisses, but I certainly think I would try to make it amazing if I knew it was the last one. I, too, haven't kissed in a while. I miss it a lot and have been thinking about it quite a bit. I'm hoping I don't close this year out kiss-less :)

from boann7 :

it has been really important for me to be alone for the past 3 years. it has been a painful and wonderful journey and in the end im glad to be alone. its true if i ever do enter into another relationship it will be different.. actually it has to be different or i won't even go there.

from boann7 :

diary-vent .. yes its a good place to let it out. i do hate to dump on unsuspecting folks that just call to say hello. very few people i will actually share with anyway. i prefer to work things through on my own. kill my own dragons so to speak. though i think sometimes it would be nice to have someone to put bandaids on my booboos at night. ones with poobear on them would be nice. =) im teasing of course im only talking in metaphors.

from boann7 :

#1599 what dreams may come..... i can feel the mist on my face and hear the creek. it has an early morning feel to it. musty and earthy. i like it very much.

from boann7 :

thanks for the note. i read a bit of your diary today too. im interested to read your books there and more about your adventures. i love the photos too. i'll probably be spending some time browsing your archive. it looks thick like a delicious book. too bad i can't take my computer to bed and pile up to read it there... guess i will just have to drag a blanket to the computer and pour a glass of wine. =)

from thisismywish :

You should post one...and, I know how you feel about the alzheimers thing. If you ever need to chat just send me a note, okay?:) Have a good day with your dad! -Beth

from f-i-n :

This diary is so cool. I had fun reading it....

from thisismywish :

It should, or I'll be extremely bitter about it! I'll check it today. Wow, I went to add a note here and the banner for your site popped up...nifty.

from ncss :

thank you. I know. And I'm not going to take it down. I needed to get it out there. While I'm sure there's more to come out, at least the ball is rolling.

from cedar-avenue :

hahahaha... one would certainly think the taste of a cake should be the main concern... where is my head these days?? lol

from clarity25 :

Thank you so much for your last note. It felt good to be understood and to have some of my uncomfortable feelings validated. Thanks a lot for reaching out, it meant a lot. I caught up with some of your novel this morning. Your writing is beautiful and I love the images you put with each chapter. I hope you had a good weekend:)

from thisismywish :

Thank you! You're right.

from absolutheart :

hahahah.... i edited the entry just for the note you left!

from thisismywish :

I live on the other side of the mountains in WA now:) Dirt road country.

from ncss :

Thanks! I'm very happy to be back. And I know some of you haven't left...I've been following along :) 02.06

from onlylittle :

thx for clearing that note out so promptly!! :D

from cedar-avenue :

just wanted to leave you a happy little face :) thanks for the sweet words on my layout.. you always have such positive vibes in your writings

from voicescarry :

Congratulations! I hope I have the same "problem" when it comes time for me to hunt for grown-up jobs.

from violetwoman :

I feel the same way, Steve. I feel like I'm sinking, not swimming, and most certainly not getting anywhere. AAAGH!

from thisismywish :

Hello there! I just wanted to let you know (since you are one of my favorite dlanders) that I am currently locking my diary. If you would like to read, please feel free to contact me at customblah at yahoo dot com. I will give you a pw:) Thanks, kid. -Beth

from thisismywish :

Can't explain it:) Lol:)

from breatheasigh :

hi there :) just spending some of my sunday afternoon reading journals and thought i'd make it known i was here peeking in on your life..i wanted to leave my mark on your guestmap but it won't work for me *pouts*..i do have a problem with java so it could be for that reason..anyhow..i'll be back to read more ..becka

from voicescarry :

I know, I sound like one of those lousy teenagers. But age is relative, and I've never been 20 before.

from thisismywish :

Best of luck with the job hunting and such and this and that...Miss talking to you. -Beth

from clarity25 :

Good luck with your job hunting. Reading this entry made me think of what I also have ahead of me in the upcoming months. I'm kind of dreading it. I guess I have to keep it in the right perspective. It's just so stressful looking for a new job, and finding a niche for yourself. I'm sure you'll be fine though! Thanks for sharing your position on meeting people online and some of your experiences! I appreciated that!

from voicescarry :

I despise Word Perfect. It sucks. I would recommend converting your resumes to .pdf, but I don't know how to do it and therefore can't be of much assistance. But then, it would be a frozen document and can't convert to gibberish.

from violetwoman :

Yeah, thanks Steve, for the encouragement. It's just so scary making the leap, you know? Mind you, I made a leap moving down here, so what can be so hard about moving to a remote island, ha! I'm thinking of enrolling in a writing course come February, funds allowing; are you up for it? I'll let you know when I decide, then maybe you can enrol along with me!

from thisismywish :

Thank you SO much for the compliments! You are sweet:)

from thisismywish :

PS- Thanks for the compliments on my new layout...the orange, purple and funky colors were getting a little too bright for my ever-growing, ever-changing personality:)

from thisismywish :

Hey there! Well, I think we go through stages of making different mistakes all throughout our lives, you know?:)

from thisismywish :

Whoa! Long time no note...how lame is that? How are you, kiddo? It'd be great to hear from you:) Beth

from voicescarry :

I fixed it. Sorry for the confusion, and thanks for caring. It makes me feel good that someone still reads.

from clarity25 :

First of all, thank you so much for your caring note. Thank you for reaching out and sharing comforting words regarding the situation I encountered on New Years Eve. I truly truly appreciated that. This last entry you wrote was so beautiful! First of all, Danielle is stunning, and secondly I love your perspective on life. Despite the job situation, you have kept the right outlook. I enjoyed reading the reflections you shared on the events of this past year and the things you have learned. The final photo of the sunset was gorgeous. Best wishes to you and yours in 2006.

from voicescarry :

I had wondered if you'd been fired, but I could never really tell. I admire your relaxed stance on it - I don't think I'd handle it as well as you have. Happy New Year, and have a prosperous 2006!

from pattymelt :

the only reason i care at all is that i noticed that someone is reading my diary by doing a google search on "pattymelt" which is a real nickname. so it makes me wonder. but oh, well, if they read something they don't like or that maybe upsets them 9like my psycho friend) that's what happens when you snoop. you have a happy holiday too!

from clarity25 :

I love how you're posting the book in chapters. I wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays and take care!

from pattymelt :

she is a psycho so i am not suprised she has gone off the deep end. she pretty much has pissed off everyone she knows. i guess it's just my turn. not that i am really pissed. just dissapointed. i am always dissapointed when people don't live up to my high expectations.

from cedar-avenue :

hey, thanks for the note... its strange to me how discrimination for whatever reason still affects me the same as ever... you'd think it would just roll off my shoulders by now but it takes a little getting used to every time...

from for-you-only :

I know I'm a decent person, and that I'm worth while to a point, but that's not enough for me. I don't want to be something to someone, I want to be everything to many people, and tons to others. I hate being average, and dull.

from clarity25 :

"there are moments when i am paralyzed with the thought of where i am now, and seemingly unable to start the move forward." -- I can relate

from alongcameme :

Living outside the comfort zone...I know it well. I wrote this quote down about change..."Your current safe boundries were once unknown frontiers." It helped me put some things in perspective. I hope that after this unstable time, you find your self on stable ground (with no aftershocks!) Hang in there.

from violetwoman :

Thanks Steve - lord knows what I'll end up doing. I'm spending $200/month right now, so what to do, what to do. So, if I accepted one of the places at $200, I'd still have to pay gas on top of that, which is a lot. Hmm, free but scary, sleepless nights here at work, or ....? :)

from clarity25 :

I agree, that's a beautiful photograph!

from alongcameme :

You were robbed! That photograph is pretty amazing...I demand a re-count! :)

from clarity25 :

I completely agreed with your last entry. I don't know how I'm going to survive another 3 years of Bush either.

from pattymelt :

finally! a comment! thanks, and yeah, alot of debt. especially to have because of a BOY! but it's almost over and i learned a BIG lesson! it's almost over and i can TASTE it. guess who will be gettign anew car for christmas next year? (by then the honda will be almost 14 years old) and, BTW, it's interesting that you just wrote about the whole intollerence thing. i was just having this very discussion on saturday night. before the drunken-ess. i am with you. why are so many people sure everyone else will "burn in hell" because we don't all believe what they think is "right"?

from alongcameme :

Thanks for the note and the encouragement :)

from clarity25 :

You're right closing a door can be difficult, but it's different from burning a bridge. Plus "Every new beginning is some other beginning's end"

from fightn4life :

I hope the stars answer your wish. Six months that sounds like a great time frame. :) Sandyz

from clarity25 :

Thank you so much for your last note. I'm glad to hear you weren't fired! that must have been so incredibly stressful! yikes..

from clarity25 :

Those images in this entry were so beautiful and peaceful to look at. I found myself getting lost in them. Thanks for your last kind note, Your welcome.:) Your words brightened my day a bit.

from nyquilgirl :

sometimes, steve, i think my brain takes vacations without my knowing. gorsh. well, i'm 9000+ days old. i forget the calculation now. i chew gum to make bubbles and i play video games until i fall asleep. numbers are just numbers - however fascinated i am with them, they don't mean anything when it comes to how awesome i think people are. like you!

from fightn4life :

Aha, I too was following banners to search for new diaries to read. Is this the Scorpio in us? The mysteries of ones mind is a fascinating find. To find any thing worth the read in my world you may need to back up, I was in a roll over accident and by a miracle, I was the only thing that remained in my now totaled Blazer. Besides a head injury, I walked away without a cut, broken bone, and my life. Thank God. (OK�I didn't exactly walk away I was cut out of the auto and flown to a hospital) The mind being an unexplained part of our being has been giving me a roller ride of thoughts. My thoughts are deep, as I see within the pages of your world that you are a thinker too, although at this time mine are a bit scrambled. Time will heal. Thanks for visiting�now onward with the search. Sandyz

from missdove :

Just wanted to thank you for the note! :)

from clarity25 :

Wow! I loved this entry! It was so interesting to read, It was cool how you described the events in your life with the number of days. Thanks for sharing that! Would it be okay with you if I linked that entry in my diary on Tuesday? *just checking* I came to thank you for your last note, concerning the troll situation. It was a complex situation and while I have since deleted nearly all of her comments..there are still a few floating around that I missed. She was harassing me for a long time. But it's over. :). I'm going to check out some of your archive now before breakfast. Have a good weekend!

from thisismywish :

Would it be bad if I told you I completely envied your trip, and wished that I could go on a trip more than anything? A week in a nice cabin in MT with a book...perfect.

from nudeplatypus :

Tom Cruise has sunk down to a such an amazing depth of ickiness that I refuse to acknowledge his existence on most days.

from thisismywish :

That is so true, I agree with you whole-heartedly. I am so sick of celebrities.

from alongcameme :

thank you...your pictures are extraordinary!

from thisismywish :

Wow! Those pictures are so beautiful. I love fall. The best thing about the NW is the cold, wonderful and crisp autumn times.

from thisismywish :

Hi there! Sorry I haven't noted you. That makes me lame because your one of my favorite diaryland people. How have you been?

from missdove :

That is a beautiful sunset pic! That is the sort of sunset you want to be kissing someone with...hehe. WOW I'd be scared to say a word to anyone about a raise like that, woohooo! Anyhow let me get going, goodmorning to you.

from missdove :

Well it may not have been the pic you really wanted to post, but as usual it gets a thumbs up from me. Oh man...those nights when you try to sleep and can't because something is bothering you, yep I know those. I get like that sometimes when I write. I'll have an idea and it stalls, and so I do as you did and figure oh well time to go to sleep, and then despite the fact that you just can't grasp it, it still just won't leave you alone. Anyhow keep the pictures coming! :)

from thisismywish :

Yes! You can totally have my un and pw. If you e-mail me at atarifish at yahoo dot com then I will give it to you!:) I'll explain my locking on my blog:)

from missdove :

Thanks for the note. Yeah, the first time I was told that I wasn't very receptive. Then again I was in a wanting to quit mood. I've kind of been thinking of instead of going to college, going to culinary school and becoming a chef. I love cooking, but doing it for a job all the time, I don't know, and there aren't any near by, so hmmmmm. Anyhow, goodmorning! :)

from thisismywish :

Here, here!

from voicescarry :

I have a username and password to my site for you, if you want it. People I know in real life started popping up on my hit counter, and I couldn't handle it. Just leave your email address in my notes if you're interested.

from missdove :

I'm glad that you got to have a good time out on the lake. Good luck with your neighbor, you never know, sooner or later things have to work out. I don't know if my diary paints a picture of me as an optimist, but I truly am at heart. Love is out there for us all, waiting, it may not be perfect as some romantic tale, but it will find us on its own terms. Ramble ramble...lol...as usual thanks for the note! :)

from missdove :

Thanks for the note and for saying my poem was beautiful. :) Yeah this job definitely qualifies under the "crappy" category. I've been trying to hang in there, ya know, give it a chance. Everything hasn't been all bad, I've had a good time when I worked shifts with Marlana, we joke and laugh, and help each other with all the customers and cleaning, it really makes a difference. If I go over my managers head, I still don't know if it would do any good. As you said maybe it's just time to find a new job again, but man...I hate feeling like a "quiter".

from missdove :

I agree with you, your feeling about 9/11, how it still hits you, and lingers on. As you said we've all seen the same images over and over now, and yet they still bring tears to my eyes. I don't think it will ever leave us, we will be haunted by it as a country maybe forever. Wow your fridge is "interesting"...they do have a habit of collecting things don't they?! Oh and I liked your one thought, about feeling like a tumble weed. Hope you have a good weekend! :)

from nyquilgirl :

i left a note for you in my entry about volunteering time for katrina. hope you can find some time to donate.. :)

from missdove :

Hello there, thank you for the note, my finger is healing pretty well. My manager filed for it under workman's comp, but said I was suppose to get a call and I never did, so who knows. You should enter the photo contest, I really do enjoy your pictures! They really capture a feeling of serenity and nature a lot, that just makes me smile. :) As for things going on with your job, the backstabbing, and the thinking you are ready for a new job, well I wish you nothing but luck. You know I never see that backstabbing coming either, sometimes I just think I'm too naive of a person, that I treat people with honesty and respect and feel that others should treat me in such a manner. Of course people are people, and you never know, but no matter how much I get burned I look for the good in others, trust them until they prove that I shouldn't. Wow I am sooo impressed with the woman who kayaked the lake...shooo. Cool that you made it on tv, your pictures of kayaking on the lake just make it look so peaceful. I bet it really does kill the arms though...shoooo...I can't even imagine. Well I think I've rambled enough, take care. :)

from missdove :

Just wanted to thank you for the notes, I REALLY appreciate them! It is easy to feel discouraged sometimes. Wish I could say more, and read your entries, I'm behind, and I'm sorry. I've gotta get ready to go to work, yesterday was...hmmm...kinda mixed, and I don't know if it's a good fit for me, so blah. Oh you asked where Nowhere MD is...it's Southern MD, I live down in St.Mary's County, it's built up some in the last few years close to where I live because of the Naval Base down here got a lot of new workers. But most of the county is still full of farm land, and up a little ways from here is probably the biggest Amish population outside of Penn. Anyhow thanks again! I hope everything there with you is good, and hopefully I'll get the chance to read up soon. :)

from theswordsman :

Those photos are great. John

from cedar-avenue :

haha... i meant its refreshing to hear someone NOT say that I was too lazy for the job... too lazy to double check sent messages, maybe.. but not for a job ;) my bad

from cedar-avenue :

i love the fact that your so outdoorsy. I've never really done anything other than hiking.. id hate to say i'm too 'girly' for the outdoors, because thats one of the last words I'd ever want to use to describe myself.. anywho thanks for the support.. its refreshing to finally hear someone say I was too lazy to stick through the job. Apparently everyone forgot Ive worked nothing but labor all my life and now that they come to find out I cant hack a 9-5 office job I'm suddenly labeled as lazy... go figure :)

from alltheworld :

I just had the biggest blonde moment of the day. Yeah, this is thisismywish and I posted you a note from my review site. *slams head on keyboard*

from alltheworld :

Woohoo! Yay for her:)

from thisismywish :

I am so, so sorry about whatever it is that has happened to you. I'll pray for you.

from thisismywish :

It still gives me troubles like nothing else. It hurts so bad. I need to go get it fixed, but I am paranoid about my friend's insurance people. So Lord willing I'll get it to go in within the next three weeks and start gettting things taken care of.

from thisismywish :

I think I've been relatively vague about me and my boyfriend's not being able to see each other issues so you probably won't find anything:) Basically, we've been unable to see each other since early June and it's driving us absolutely nuts.

from thisismywish :

I just had a moment with myself that I thought I'd share with you. I was doing an entry earlier and I wasn't sure what your name was (Lame, I know! How'd I miss that minor detail?) so I decided to call you Steve. And just now, while flipping through some of your old entries I discovered that your name really is Steve. So, here's to a blonde moment about your name, Steve.

from thisismywish :

Hey there, dude. I'd love a nickname if you happened to think of one. I do obsess over those things. I am glad you had a nice day today:) Aren't concerts fun? That ringing is a bittersweet thing. My friend wants to take me to go see Kelly Clarkson (gags) Have a good sleep, dear. -Beth

from missdove :

Just had to say awwwwww...your entry for your friend Liz was sweet. :) I love the chalk walk pics so far, can't wait to see more. It all sounds like a lot of fun. Wish we had a festival like that down here in Southern MD where I live. They have this one with like tracter pulls and "farm" crap...not very interesting! And an Oyster festival, but I'm not an oyster lover. You would think MD is famous for the Bay and its crabs they'd have a crab festival, which I could dig that, but we don't. Oh well, anyway hope you enjoy today.

from thisismywish :

Hey there:) I am SO sorry to hear your day went a little awry (is that how you apply that word?). Please have a better day today. -Beth

from missdove :

Well I hope work leaves you alone and you get to enjoy the celebration this weekend. Knowing has to be better, as you said we don't always think we want to know, but YES so many things are different in retrospect. I find myself ALWAYS thinking..."If only I knew then what I know now." Of course that is impossible, so until the day someone actually invents that time machine, we are all out of luck. That entry was due to myself being told something that I didn't really want to hear the other day, I thought about just putting it all there in my entry, but then I censored myself, and cut it out thinking it was too personal. Most of the time these days I don't do that, have gotten to the point of where I feel pretty comfortable saying almost anything in my entries, hmmm...oh well, ramble ramble. As always thanks for the note, take care. :)

from thisismywish :

I love the picture entry, dude.

from oceangypsy :

Actually I commented a couple of days ago something to effect of that if you wanted a massage all you had to do was ask. Oh, it was after you horrible time in Pittsburgh, and then you wrote the next day that you needed a massage, and I'm like hello... I just offered it to you. ;) Things are going well. Kinda...it's a long story. I'll have to tell you about it sometime or something.

from thisismywish :

I sort of agree with you in one sense, but I think that we can also choose to start over and not to dwell on what's written on our little personal slates, ya know? So in that sense, we have clean slates because I think we keep our own slates sometimes. I don't know. Heres to deep stuff from an exhausted ding-dong head.

from thisismywish :

AAGGGHH! Geez! Now I'm all paranoid. I think it might be a little psychosomatic, though, ya know? Gah. Well, anyway, your probably at work. So have a nice day, man!:) PS: Do you have any tattoos?

from missdove :

Well if you are stupid for taking leaps then I guess I'm stupid too. Sometimes I think to myself..."for a girl who thinks she is 'smart', you sure don't always do the smart thing". I know exactly what you mean, the early part of the leap can be soooo...ooooooh exhilarating and wonderful. Certain situations I find myself in right now...hmm...ummm...I can't elaborate on in a note, but in the last couple of months I've taken some leaps, and right now I am having my "doubts". I think falling short might be just around the corner again. Well I hope you do get to go, wish money was better around here at the moment, because I could soooo use a vacation, oh well. Beware of the bears, when I was there, there was one in the little town that we stayed in. It was both scary and yet cool like...WOW...to see that. Anyhow, let me get back to reading everyone else's diaries.

from missdove :

Thank you for the last two notes, they had me thinking, and anything that makes me think is always welcome. I love hearing the thoughts of my readers, especially when like yours they have a "deeper" quality of thought to them. It has been a while since I've had anything that I would deem an "intellectual" conversation, and that side of me misses that, people around here don't like to ramble away with me. :( Anyhow...we all have our things we hold on to, in reading your entries I get the feeling you "took a leap" for a woman that didn't work out, that you put a lot of yourself on the line when you did so, and it hurt, making you wonder if you ever would want to leap again. Hopefully I'm not totally wrong there, read between the lines at least sort of accurately. Oh and YES a massage chair, even though as you said in response it is NOT the same as having someone massaging you, it is still nice. I find it relaxes me. What you said in your note about God, I must say I totally agree with! All those holier than thou types drive me insane, no one is perfect, we will never be perfect, and I think God loves us for that, and that our imperfections in a way are what make us beautiful. I couldn't believe I allowed myself to say some of the things I did in that entry. It always seem that the moment you mention God, everyone jumps to one side of the fence or the other, it is a sensitive, divisive subject. Sort of like politics can be, maybe that is why I've never really liked talking politics. Goodness am I on a ramble or what?! :) I think I'm going to shut myself up. Oh though there is one last thing I wanted to say...I LOVE the last 3 pics you put at the top of your entries. Have you ever spent any time down in the Great Smokey Mountains? It was really beautiful, while I was there I saw one of the most colorful, absolutely beautiful sunrises ever. Being up that high in the mountains was like being in the clouds, and the colors of the sunrise seemed almost touchable, it was just...WOW...one of those moments in life that I will always remember. I find myself wishing I was there "with someone", it would have been the perfect time to have that "romantic" take your breath away kiss. Oh well...maybe next time I go back down there. I love to sit outside at night too, but I definitely have more clothes on then you, in your boxers...weren't the mosquitos eating you alive? They always seem to get me good, maybe it is just here where I live, or maybe just really like my blood. They really annoy me! Ok really shutting up now, and again thanks for reading, and for the notes! :)

from thisismywish :

Well, bless your heart for the work you do. We need more people out their encouraging todays people to start taking responsibility for their irresponsible actions.

from thisismywish :

re to your entry: I know what you mean- it's a fairly nice night and I am sitting here waiting to here from my boyfriend who I haven't talked to in three days. Geez, this computer is addictive. (Oh my gosh I note you like crazy...yikes...I'll try to crowd your notes page less:) )

from thisismywish :

"i think alot of it is the expectations a person has for themselves" That is true. And I do agree that there are people who do their relationship proud. I, however, was raised around anti-men women. *gag, gag* Everyone except for my mother herself hates men.

from thisismywish :

I love the NW. It's so close to the mountains and it's just gorgeous up here. I hope I never have to leave. I'm trying to remember which family members of mine live in Eugene. I went white water rafting over by...oh crap...I can't remember where...but anyway, the water was just so pure, crystal clear and clean. And you could just see the mountains and I swear, it's gorgeous up here. Have you ever been to WA stae?

from thisismywish :

You know, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if she was a tad drunk. Her reaction times were really strange and awkward and the way she stumbled back into her car was really weird. Anyway! Eugene, eh? I actually have my heart just absolutely set on a sweet little house in Astoria. It's a loser of a town but I think it's so charming. You can look out at the Columbia river and you are so close to the ocean. And you can hear boats all day long and the water swishing back and forth. I love it. I'm babbling. Why Eugene for you?

from thisismywish :

Third note in a row- with my question of the night. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live? And where do you live now?

from thisismywish :

re latest entry: You and are very much alike- except I don't like women. I do, however love the beach, and october most everything else on your list.

from thisismywish :

Hey there! Your absolutely right. I am going to do an entry tonight and I'll try and note a little with you. Sleep well. Beth

from thisismywish :

Don't worry about fizzling out- I don't blame you. I got tired last night and got off almost exactly after I posted that note. So, no sweat. Talk to you soon. Beth

from thisismywish :

Hmm...that's quite interesting. "zen buddhist methodist" That's one I've certainly never heard before:) If you haven't drawn this from my diary, I am a follower of Christ. I hate to say Christian because when I say that I get extremely stereotyped and people hate me from the hilt. I am just a Bible-believer; not a holy roller or really anything else. I mean, how many "christians" have you met that you've actually liked? You know? They are usually mean, and base all of their decisions based on their feelings rather than what they can best perceive to be fact.

from thisismywish :

I really dislike rap music. It seems to all sound the same, I can barely hear what they are saying and it's really just obnoxious. There are very few songs I like that are rap. I have a question for ya- are you religious?

from thisismywish :

Well, it sounds like you work in a good line of work then. If I ever decide to get a career I would like to teach music. I like their songs on the radio. I keep telling myself to go buy a CD of theirs when I have the money. What genre of music do you enjoy the most?

from thisismywish :

Oh, PS- I just reread the note and I am sorry they keep you on your toes. I hereby take back my last question. I noticed you like Dave Matthews Band. I am starting to like Dave Matthews Band as of late. They have such a clean sound. Which is your favorite song of theirs?

from thisismywish :

Not in college, and not quite sure if I really even want to go. I know that's bad. I would rather just get married. That's really impractical, I know. A detention center? Wow- that sounds like a crazy job. I would be terrified to work with girls in a detention center. Do the kids give you troubles or are they generally well-behaved? (I think that is probably a dumb question)

from thisismywish :

Yes! Steal! I know what you mean...I always dread Mondays and I don't even have a job. It just seems like it's the most hectic day of the week; trying to get all the stuff in order that was out of order during the week. I am VERY excited to be back from camp. Those kids were awful! It kind of made me a little scared to even think about having my own family, you know? Hehehe. What kind of work do you do?

from thisismywish :

Mistakes suck. They really do. That thought was just passing through my mind tonight when I read your entry, and it's always a good reminder that other people mistakes too. Anyway, how are you doing tonight?

from thisismywish :

Thank you for the kind words. I hope everything will work out. I really do. BTW, what on earth have you been up to? I think I'll go catch up on the life and times of you. Have fun eating gumbo. -Beth

from otherplans :

Thanks for the note - yes, I have definitely been 'scared straight' from ever playing matchmaker again!

from missdove :

Well if no one is around to give you a massage, may I suggest buying a Lazy boy recliner with electric double function massage. Ah...I love that thing to death, especially when I'm "stressed".

from missdove :

Sorry to hear you had such a bad time in court. Thank you for the most recent note, and yay ramble away! I like hearing the thoughts of others, it's always good to have some "intellectual stimulation". I have my regrets too, everyone does, I like your comments about them though. Leaps of faith should come with parachutes, haha. I know that would make them too easy, and if we want to succeed we have to be willing to fail. Anyhow, thanks for reading, and I'm glad you seem to be enjoying my entries. Take care :)

from missdove :

I'm glad you put that pic there of the sunset over the lake...WOW that was beautiful! :)

from missdove :

Glad you liked my poem, and thanks for saying so, it's always nice to hear that someone likes and understands my writing/poetry. I'm not sure why I said cute, maybe it was just cuter in my head, where I could see all the different versions of Peter Pan...the animated Disney one, the Robin Williams Hook Version, the Cathy Rigby(sp?!) stage version (I'd sooo love to go see it, she is getting ready to retire, but no one else I know is interested in going, could care less) and so on. With the poem being so short, and not using a lot of imagaery, I don't know I just felt it was a more "simple" poem to understand than some of my others. Which in my mind helped me deem it cute I suppose, I don't know, ramble ramble, sorry about that. Hope you have a great day! :)

from missdove :

Thank you for the note. :) I'm glad you had a good time, 9 hours of music at the festival, sounds like fun, such a shame those co-workers had to show up. What you said about the ups and downs of everyday is so true, no day will ever be perfect, but no day will ever be "all bad" either. I like your plus and minuses. Oh and sorry about your eye.

from thisismywish :

I know what you mean about getting up on the starting block and that feeling you get. I am really not a big fan of racing. I do love relays, though. What's your favorite stroke?

from thisismywish :

I did a tiny bit of competitive HS swimming, but I'm more of an artist (singing, acting) than an athlete. But, I really, really enjoy just lap swimming. Gah, it's the best.

from thisismywish :

Do you keep your hair short then?:) That's the worst part of swimming is the stupid cap. It's so stinking tight...but I love having my hair long, so it's the price I have to pay.

from thisismywish :

Christian. Girls counselor. Do you swim? That's probably a dumb question, seeing as your un is swimmmer72 BUT; who knows? I am a swimmer myself, you see.

from thisismywish :

Oh, I know what you mean about the pets. My last dog, Luke- man, oh, man I loved that dog. And I cried for three days about my goldfish died. Hey- I noticed that you liked the movie, "Field of Dreams." I have never seen it, but it's always kind of sparked my interest. Is it any good? -Beth

from cedar-avenue :

you mean to tell me things only get worse??? next thing u know you're gonna tell me my cuteness will fade.... the way i figured my memory would be the next to go and actually i was looking forward to that much... haha.... i'll forego the male strippers if you make a cameo =)

from pugilist :

only for the summer.

from nudeplatypus :

Just buy new socks. It's what I do...socks, underwear, towels...it's much easier to purchase new than to wash the piles of laundry.

from missdove :

Thanks for the note back. My diary is "interesting", well I hope that is a good interesting. I didn't want it to be like everyone else's diary, wanted it to give visitors a glimpse of my eclectic nature. Mostly people I think get the impression that I am "goth", which isn't true, I really like vampires, vampire movies, and vampire novels, but I am not goth. As the saying goes..."don't judge a book by it's cover"...well I hope that readers of my diary judge me more by my words, thoughts, and poems, then by the way I have my template set up. Ramble ramble...sorry about that...goodmorning to you! :)

from thisismywish :

That's very true. I archived them all as well. It is so important for us as bloggers to be real on our diaries.

from missdove :

We all have our demons, maybe they never truly go away, we just hide them in a corner shelf somewhere. As for that boyfriend and girlfriend fighting thing, it's probably best to not get involved. Reading it reminded me of my sister and her boyfriend, they have a lot of "problems", fight like that, and WORSE actually. It pisses me off, I hate it, BUT the girl always talk crap about leaving him and WON'T, so there is no point in me getting involved, I will never understand why anyone would want to be with someone that treats them like such shit. :( Oh well, sorry I went off on a ramble, it's just one of those issues that "gets to me". I see you're a Scorpio, I'm a Pisces, we're fellow water signs, cool. :)

from cedar-avenue :

never thought about hittin the grocery store for the free goods... damn you'd think i've lived under a rock or something sometimes. congrats on battling those demons... funny how things can get such a grasp over a person... for years, for ages and even life... bleh

from missdove :

Just glancing around through diaries wasting time this morning. I read your last 5 entries, maybe I'll be back to read some more, to hear about how your trip went. Hope you have a good time!

from onlylittle :

just wanted to let you know that i still read you. nice car, btw. :)

from violetwoman :

Steve, did you like the pic of the baby birds? No one commented on my baby birds! :(

from violetwoman :

Pretty spiffy car, Steve! Cruisin' time, eh?

from whovillian :

awww..did you miss me??...giggles..

from whovillian :

hey you....just popped by to say hi...

from cedar-avenue :

wow, it appears I have a lot to catch up on. Good to see some inspirational journalists who don't skimp out on updates as much as SOME people do, u know the type.. the ones who ditch old journals to start fresh.. ahem.. yeah.. :) thanks for the note, youre words are refreshing!

from danddteacher :

Just send me e-mail at [email protected] and I'll be glad to hook ya up...

from otherplans :

Whoa..."I know that what I�m looking for is out there somewhere, but I need that balance between impulsiveness and analytical examination to discover what I�m really trying to find. There are just too many mirages out there to do it any other way." That was just completely awesome if I do say so myself - I'm writing that in my list of favorite quotes if you don't mind. If you do lock up - I would like your password if possible. Thanks!

from nudeplatypus :

I find Cruise to be creepy and icky. But his recent verbal attacks on Brooke Shields for her use of medication to help her recover from severe post-partum depression is downright shitty. Plus, he looks like a re-animated corpse.

from otherplans :

Thanks for the great note and words of encouragement! Nice to know I'm not the only one in the world who thinks like me!

from voicescarry :

Actually, the journal entries are sort of self-serving. I have to write a bunch of articles about my trip, and I'm hoping to just copy and paste. I'm glad things are conveying well, though. I feel like there's no possible way to do the last 3 weeks any justice.

from nyquilgirl :

you are a sweet genuine man. and i am so glad that i know you.

from nyquilgirl :

you're so funny.. i hope i won't need meds. i know my mom went on that for a little while. if diet and exercise don't help me, i'll be sad. :( but of course you are not old! older men have more charm anyway. hahahahaha.

from violetwoman :

Whoa Steve, don't be too impressed! I've taken lessons in all of these, here and there over the years. Guess I do have talent. Haven't touched the violin in YEARS. Still dabble with my crappy little keyboard (why oh WHY did I ever sell my piano--see? talk about throwing my talent away--literally), and I still strum my guitar (my weak link, never was GREAT at this). But yeah, I do have some hidden musical talent which I'd love to release. I'd KILL to have another piano. I will buy another one, one day, when I have the ROOM to keep it. Anywho, am babbling, goodnight! How are YOU, btw? You must do some REAL updates here and there, you silly boy!

from sodaberry :

awwww - how could i leave you behind :-) xxx

from lyssbobiss :

I agree with your interpretation of the bizarre moral rules we have developed. I also have to wonder which is more degrading, amoral and stigmatizing...a brief display of human flesh, accidental or no, which is something we ALL have; or the 4 hours going on around it, with the gendered messages sent out in commercials, and the game, which features, often, men getting injured and acting erally physically agressive toward each other. I realize that it's just a game, and a part of American history, but I personally think that it adds to our ideas of what "men" are; strong and physically violent, determined to get what they want. No wonder we live in a society where 1 in 3 women is sexually or physically violated in her lifetime. And I'm off of my soapbox now. :)

from oceangypsy :

Definitely saw you peek at my latest dream. So...I think I figured out of all my friends you would comment. Though, not sure if I want you to either...;) Hope things are working out for you, and catch ya sometime soon.

from nyquilgirl :

your pictures of the trees/leaves are so good. and the fog..... ohh

from ncss :

Thanks :) you know how you get an idea of what people look like when you read their words? )No matter how many times I try to write the next line it doesn't come out right), but you're much cuter than I pictured. That can be interpretted terribly, but is meant in the nicest way. :) And I wouldn't call your diary a mess ;) Thanks :)

from whovillian :

Thx darling. It was a blast..and no worries I'll pop by and read up and make sure that you are behaving :-)

from violetwoman :

Hey! I'm doing fine, thank you. Just a bit sore in places. I did go to the doctor this morning, more just to report it than anything. I'll just have to 'make' Simon give me a massage later! ;)

from swimlady0 :

Thanks hon for the advice. I needed that. We'll see what happens next time he ims me. I haven't heard from him in two days or so.

from swimlady0 :

A perfect evening: 1) Yankee candle Stormwatch. 2) Apples. 3) Warm caramel. 4) Curling up and....reading your journal. Now where was your mind on that one? ;)

from otherplans :

Thanks for the note - I need all the encouragement I can get :)

from violetwoman :

Hey Steve, thanks for the note. I have to admit it's been particularly rough lately but I'll get through it somehow. I just really, really, REALLY have to make some changes in my life and I'm SO not good at change.

from nudeplatypus :

I've spent the last four years saying "don't blame me, I voted for Gore." And I'll spend the next four saying "don't blame me, I voted for Kerry."

from swimlady0 :

You have some of the most beautiful pictures I've seen in a long time. Hope you got some good pictures around here in the couple of days that it has been sunny. Btw...my diary is free and open now. Happy? ;)

from voicescarry :

You bring up so many good points. The problem is, after reading your well thought-out arguments, I'm not nearly as clear as I was this morning on the whole boy thing...I feel another entry coming on. Stay tuned.

from nyquilgirl :

heh heh. thanks! i am really liking drawing on the computer now. :))

from voicescarry :

Thanks, I really appreciate your objective outlook...I just have to keep reminding myself of that!

from violetwoman :

Of course I liked the pictures of your kitties best of all!

from lyssbobiss :

We lead such exciting lives. You are up at 3:30 to start your day. Here I am at 4:30, when I haven't gone to bed yet, because I'm still grading damn papers. I have to be up at 7:30. Love ya!

from nudeplatypus :

So the whole "we have your paycheck" tale is just a ploy to arrest me? I did end up with a lot of pens and post-it notes from the office in my personal possession. Yes, I am a white collar criminal. Also, speaking in concise, complete and intelligent sentences is not exactly Bush's forte.

from lyssbobiss :

vaca is spanish for cow. When I read the title of your latest entry, I totally thought it said "Ithaca is for cows." And I found it hilarious.

from nyquilgirl :

♥ thanks for your encouraging words.

from otherplans :

Your 9/20/04 entry about your sunset pictures and nicole may be the absolute best thing I ever heard a boy describe their feelings for a girl. Good Lord!

from brokenbits :

thank you for all the lovely pictures - i love opening up your diary to see them. the last 2 entries pics have been delicious. makes me wanna be RIGHT there. xx

from lovinglav :

yes i had to agree to get paid its called a compensation agreement... ever hear of it?

from otherplans :

Just felt the need to tell you that you take the most incredible pictures - seriously. Thanks for sharing!

from brokenbits :

hello :-) shame your guestmap link doesnt work. oh well. hello from england, i think your diary is great and your 'people pics' are amazing. its a hard art to master.... but you got it licked. Morgan x

from violetwoman :

22 acres? You had twenty-two acres? Oh man, that would be spectacular. Did you have to sell it, or did you think you'd just never go there? The price of land in this area has skyrocketed so we were lucky we bought when we did. But it's funny. We often surf the MLS website and look at land on the east coast of Canada. It's still very cheap in Nova Scotia, PEI, New Brunswick. Incredibly so. If it weren't for the bitter winters and the lack of work, it would almost be worth living there! I've noticed you've been ESPECIALLY introspective lately in your writing. Is it the change of seasons, you think? I'm feeling it, although it's manifesting in the blues. At least you're going on another trip, you lucky thing you. No grass growing under YOUR feet, is there? *hugs* from Kim

from onlylittle :

hi! i see you have me as a fave, i have changed the user/password combo, if you would like access, email me with your diaryland username. thanks! .ol.

from mess-age :

Thank you for your note. Can't say I feel much better about myself, but I know you are probably right..just becuase you're always right. I just need some time to pass before I'll be able to think of what I did this way. anyway you're a person for whom I've lots of respect, so your opinion is preciouse to me.

from lovinglav :

http://members.diaryland.com/edit/showsurvey.phtml?name=lovinglav-dothedeed#userstaken

from lyssbobiss :

I'm so honored that you "borrowed" my ending. :) I DID learn some things about you that I didn't know. Awesome. Thanks, buddy!

from lyssbobiss :

Sorry - I tried to email you, but it bounced back! Anyway, it's username: alyssa password: rocks Later!

from onlylittle :

*hugs for you* if you didn't know me as well as you do, i would try to flirt with you. :) i suppose i'm presumptuous to think that you would care, but whatever. ;) .ol.

from lovinglav :

Linky to my older links and past and future are there too buddy

from pattymelt :

thanks for doing my survey. you always have interesting answers!

from onlylittle :

inconceivable.

from onlylittle :

hi. :) that's all. .ol.

from onlylittle :

heyyy! we added an entry and the same time!! (or there about...) :) bye! .ol.

from lovinglav :

I have a raunch survey Steve come over to my place and click on the link at the bottom of the entry... "Take Me!"

from swimstar84 :

i like ur diary it very interesting and real.... yeah

from mess-age :

It's my 4th week in England and yes I am a bit lonely,but.. gotta deal with it somehow. I wish I had better chance to use internet because I'm missing reading your and (other ppl's)diaries each day. it's one hour a day but so farI have a chance to come here once a week.

from violetwoman :

Steve, I knew you'd like the scenery! The west coast is spectacular, I must admit. I must try and post more pics. I'd really, really like to travel where you've just been, however, as I've never been there. *hugs*

from influence :

my personal favorite is Saturday rush hour. I always forget about that one and head out somewhere at 4:30 only to be harshly reminded of how many people work weekends.

from vesselland :

hey! it's been ages since i last visited your journal ... well, have fun hiking. i will step by later...

from mess-age :

Have a good time on your trip!! umm..I think now I'm gald I'm so busy these days, otherwise I'd miss your diary too much!!! Take a good rest and come back to us with lots of stories!! xoxox

from whovillian :

really??....email me with details I'd love to meet you

from voicescarry :

Wow, have a great trip.

from whovillian :

I'm really happy for you and crossing my fingers that it all works out for you I know you've been wanting this for a long time *hugs*

from mess-age :

Thank you:)

from voicescarry :

I'm sorry that you're unhappy. My dad would probably die for his union, but I think that it's because its in his blood. Your perspective is very, very different from what I've been exposed to, and that's good. But I can't complain, because his work keeps me indulged and will pay disgusting amounts for my college education. Thanks for the compliment about my layout, I was pretty excited about it myself.

from pattymelt :

ding! ding! ding! you were going purely on the massive mammories right? good job!

from pattymelt :

nope. guess again.

from mess-age :

About my Love I'm positve he's not trying to find me. I want to respect that. I wish your story was different. If I am allowed to ask: Have you tried to meet her? learn something about her?? if she feels the same way as you do..then you're wasting time! yes, I know it's not that simple. sometimes I think meeting him may help me to moved on. I imagine mylsef it'd be total disappointment, but still liberating me, in some way. Are you affraid to find out the truth as much as I do? I think I don't want to know if the truth is not = to what I treasure in my head. I need to believe I was important to him.

from voicescarry :

Ok, my answers are posted in my diary. Does that mean I get four questions too? (That DOES NOT count as one!) How old were you when you lost your virginity? What is your all-time favorite CD, do you prefer lake, ocean or pool swimming (and why)? Do you think you'll ever have kids?

from nudeplatypus :

So are you saying that Justin Timberlake wouldn't be a good dinner companion? Because I'm sure he would be all sorts of interesting...or not. And are you saying that you watched the Miss U.S.A. pageant? It was the Donald Trump promos that sucked you in wasn't it?

from whovillian :

i don't think i did....:-(

from mess-age :

Thank you

from mess-age :

..but on my blog I'm honest:) have a nice day!

from mess-age :

:) can't believe you were soooo curiouse about it:) guess it's a fault of teasy-me that you had to learn some Polish.. oh well..it's not a big harm, you'll survive. I just have to add I'm such a liar.

from mess-age :

I'm really impressed with your list. Hey why are we on-line same time so often? I guess it means you're on-line all the time and that makes you a bit sociopathatic..unlike me ha! ;-P c-ya

from mess-age :

Happy Easter you fajny i madry mezczyzna you :)

from mess-age :

aha! you're so curiouse!;) hi!:)..well..about the question..how can I tell you this...hmm..gee..I don't know..oh come on!! I don't want you to drown in vanity, so I can't pay you compliments all the time. Let me just say it's not too nasty description. have a nice day!

from whovillian :

Thx for the notes :-) I'm glad I didn't lock it either....I'd miss the notes from you

from mess-age :

Hi! Of course I was talking about you. Even if all you write was to be a lie( and I know it's not). it still would make you a very special person. A person who was able to make up so amazing lies:) Thank you4your nice words and concern abt me. I probably won't commit a suicide very soon. Just for a reason it'd look like I did it, because of loosing that job. I'm too proud to bear such thought. I like to think of myself I didn't join their "liitle office hell" there. I'd hate to let them think, they've killed me. So far that's my reason to keep on living..until I figure out something better.. Ok, so.. you take care of your self, the last real good men on earth, you:)

from voicescarry :

HOLY COW, ME TOO! I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one. Because all I think about is making out, and it's making me crazy...

from nudeplatypus :

The captain of the football team during Hnida's time was on Anderson Cooper last night. He said that he had no first-hand knowledge of anything involved in the allegations but they are serious allegations and need to be investigated fully. Amazingly enough, this would be the proper response...not "she's an awful player." WTF

from cuntgirl :

I stopped writing here. I have yet to recover from the friendship meltdown this place once cost me. But oh, how I do miss it.

from influence :

This is true. But it can also turn into a nightmare if your angry psychotic ex decides to start impersonating you and using the details of your life to cause you trouble.

from violetwoman :

smartass :)

from voicescarry :

You seem to be having a rough day, too. I'm sorry.

from voicescarry :

That's so sad! Except maybe I'm still a little bit fish-sensitive.

from hellotiger :

i made a new diary. go to karika.diaryland.com thats wat im using now...its not locked

from horny-flo :

The links are fixed! Enjoy!

from voicescarry :

Sometimes cleaning can be so theraputic.

from horny-flo :

Yes, come are new... It might be your browser that dosen't open the pictures hosted on madprojects. Do you see the new layout picture at least? And all men are visual!

from hazelblink :

:o)

from hellotiger :

yea it did....i got rid of them all...

from hellotiger :

tell me wat u think kk

from hellotiger :

mine is locked but i gave u a pass...ur username is swimmmer72 and ur pass is swim....how imaginative is that

from hellotiger :

hey u dont no me but i thought id just say hi...i foudn ur diary in the members area thing...dont worry im not a stalker....no, really im not....hope u write back...peace

from violetwoman :

Steve, not for a heartbeat did I even have an iota of offense taken. Heh, I was just ragging on you, just to wake you up. ;)

from voicescarry :

I put my contacts on the wrong eyes this morning, too. Except one of my eyes is a lot worse than the other, and I ran into the doorway on my way out of the bathroom -- which was when I realized I should switch. BTW, you were right about the best friend thing.

from lily750 :

sounds like steinbeck's travels with charlie :)

from pattymelt :

yeah, it was warm here on saturday. it's frickin' 25 now and i am hating it! and thanks for the note, man!

from voicescarry :

Too bad you live there and I live here, because I would walk with you. I could really use the excercise.

from ncss :

I've been in the mode of purging and cleaning lately as well. I think if I declutter my space, my mind will declutter along with it. plus I find I clean out a lot of thoughts and feelings as I do it. It's really refreshing. Good luck with it sunshine!!

from voicescarry :

I'm with you. I hate horror, or even ...slightly scary. There have been movies on the Disney channel that I've turned off. I just don't do well with being scared.

from ncss :

The Ring didn't scare me all that much while I was watching it, but so help me...if someone had called me after I finished watching it, I might have peed my pants.

from voicescarry :

Lord, you have beautiful dreams

from violetwoman :

Hi Steve, thanks for your words. I don't clearly recall your entry with your kitty. Could you send me the link or something like that so I can reread it? Please?

from lily750 :

hey! thanks for the book recommendation; I found it at Border's today, but I doubt I'll have time to read a 1,000 page book now that I'll be back at school... still looks awesome- it's on my list for the next time I go on a long trip :) HAPPY NEW YEAR!

from voicescarry :

Thanks for the encouragement and the appreciation of my humor. Of course I didn't think you were belittling me -- with things like this, it's hard to convey how deeply I...feel. Don't worry if you don't get it, it's just good for me to get it out of my system.

from violetwoman :

Suuuure. I post a pic of my christmas tree and all you can say is..."did you find the chocolate?" You turkey! NO, I have not found the stupid chocolate, and it's not for lack of trying. And the man is SOOO smug about it. Personally, I think he's illegally hidden it. But then again, I didn't realize there are like a million spots even in a small condo like this one. You would think with my chocolate addiction that somehow I would have some sort of psychic feeling about it. I imagine I'll find it the day we move. Or the day I'm looking for something else. You know how it is. I just spend an hour looking for a pair of earrings to no avail. I did find two other pairs that I lost eons ago, but alas, no chocolate. Hope your weekend is fun and I wish we'd get some snow here, too. You come from a snowier place, don't you? All we get is rain and wind. I keep hoping for a white christmas. One day.......

from voicescarry :

Oooh, do you have one of those great beds that heats itself up? Those are nice. Except whenever I sleep on a waterbed, I dream that I'm drowning, which I'm not too fond of.

from nyquilgirl :

you rock, my friend.

from voicescarry :

Thanks so much for the link, you're too kind =). Hope you had a terrific Thanksgiving.

from nyquilgirl :

no change in password or username.. try again. unless diaryland is being wonky. :)

from cdghost :

I stumbled across your diary and I am glad I did

from voicescarry :

What a great list, I can't even find the word to describe what I think about your list. Also, thank you for all of the kind notes, it's really nice to know that someone cares enough to respond.

from nyquilgirl :

I will miss my diary so so so much. I might start updating again. Leave me your email in my notes and I'll send you details. I'm keeping up with my favourites still.. sigh..

from violetwoman :

thanks for your kind words--I will be fine. just had to vent and whine all over the place. I liked the animal statues, but that pic with all the people statues--kinda scary. I wouldn't want to be there at dusk!

from nyquilgirl :

[keen.on.you]

from onlylittle :

thank you. :) .ol.

from voicescarry :

You should see about getting hired at Arizona Highways. It always has stories about hiking the wilds of Arizona and the like

from violetwoman :

Say, that was fast....and whaaaat was that you said? Okay, now I'm getting upset! What other emails have I missed? Hmm. I notice Diaryland has not been telling me about new comments and notes, lately, as well. I hate to think I have missed someone, somehow. I don't want to lose any of my d-land friends. Better go check my buddy list--if anyone has dropped me, I'll know why! :)

from violetwoman :

I received your email requesting the pw, but none other after that. Strange goings on in my email account, it seems? ;)

from violetwoman :

Hey mister, did you receive my password? Huh, did you? Time for bed. ZZZZ

from violetwoman :

Hi Steve, I locked my diary and tried to email you at your diaryland address to no avail. If you'd like to continue reading my diary, please email me and I'll send you the password! I know it's a pain, my email addy is [email protected]

from voicescarry :

Have a great trip!

from voicescarry :

Yeah, the Cubbies fans around have been going pretty crazy, it's sorta cool.

from swim4gold04 :

thanks for the note you left me. i checked out your diary and its pretty cool. i like all your pictures. just yes--peace

from voicescarry :

You were so right about this: "sometimes getting through it is as good as it gets, but sometimes, it turns out a lot better than you thought it would" -- thanks for the insight, I really appreciate it

from voicescarry :

Love the beautiful surf pic -- did you take it?

from bobsquared69 :

thank you

from voicescarry :

She must be incredible

from lily750 :

I love the fact that you're also addicted to Dawson's Creek--- I never watched it during the season, but I love to watch reruns :) "adoring you" is cute :)

from voicescarry :

Love the picture, love Dawson's Creek more. You're such not a bad person for loving it, my dad is almost 50, a big gruff construction worker, and he never missed an episode when it was on the WB. I love it because the charactors could be any of my friends, except they'd be getting really, really good verbal SAT scores. It's one of my favorite shows.

from nicoleprice :

So much for chatting last night. H was home and I didn't care for the idea of trying to have a conversation w/ you whilst H is present. I think I still remember your snail mail addy. I'll drop a note your way very soon.

from violetwoman :

Cocooning is the best! I'm all for it. I was born cocooning, hee hee. Meanwhile my family are all like the beehivers. They can have it.

from voicescarry :

I sortof....added text to one of your crazybeautiful sunset photos, and I was wondering if it would be ok if I posted it on my diary. I completely realize that I should've asked before I saved the image, but my intent then was just to be able to look at it, not ...add stuff. Anyway, just let me know, and if you're mad about me having it, I would be more than happy to delete it. Well, ok not happy. But understanding.

from chained-soul :

No one pissed me off...It was just something that popped into my mind, and so I typed it

from voicescarry :

I completely feel your end-of-summer pain. Only you describe yours better than I can mine. I've appreciated these last few entries

from krugerpak007 :

Wish I could join you for your vacation. am looking forward to it more than you I think... It sounds amazing. Stop letting her piss you off. You are far too special for that!:-)Kathy

from vesselland :

good luck..

from bluering :

I guess that's what happens when you love a pet too much. Its almost enough to make me not want a pet again, but it's just not quite going to work that way...thanks for the note.

from krugerpak007 :

Thanks for trying to cheer me up. Yes, its so sad when relatives leave... Sounds like you had a great Sunday though! Thanks again for your note and for always putting a grin on my face. xoxoxo Kathy

from nicoleprice :

I thought you would have noted me by now. Actually, it's okay. I think I kinda understand why. And you know, I think you have the right idea. There are just some trees that shouldn't be climbed. I don't think I can write right" if I know you're reading, so I'm going to take your name off the list, but don't take it offensively because I don't mean it to be a slap or jab. It just that I won't write naturally if there's someone reading that doesn't feel comfortable noting me anymore. And it's okay. I can understand why. I can totally relate, so anyway, take good care. And have fun on your trips this fall. Live well. Life is good. -Melissa

from nicoleprice :

I may not be the one you wrote about in that last entry, but if I was, I just sent you a password. You can read if you like. Take care of yourself.

from nicoleprice :

Hi Steve. Are you there right now?

from krugerpak007 :

Bummer about the revolting scale Steve. Maybe it is just water retention or something...I hate that F'ing scale! I hope you are ok. you have been a bit down lately? I think you need a long, beautiful trip to relax. Anyway take care. xxoxox Kathy

from coreypd :

hey really nice layout, very modern! tag me back if u want

from heath85 :

HEY, WHATS^? NUTTIN MUCH HERE. JUST WANTED TO STOP IN AND SAY HI. MAYBE WE CAN TALK SOME TIME. STOP BY MY DIARY ANYTIME. TTYL. BYE BYEZ

from krugerpak007 :

Hope you have a good weekend!:-)Kathy

from chained-soul :

Eli's Wings-yummy...Had a great time there with you and Craig...Hope you have a great day...I'm hitting the h20 myself today...

from krugerpak007 :

Just read your entry #467. Your sentiments are my sentiments...You have an amazing way with words. I wish I could write like you. Hope you are doing ok. Waiting for your update..Kathy

from krugerpak007 :

Hope you are ok... Take care! :-)Kathy

from lily750 :

you okay Steve?

from chained-soul :

OK, who's on the delete list?...If they make you feel this way, delete their PAMF...Hope that made you smile...

from voicescarry :

You're not speaking of deleting your diary, are you? Please, please, PLEASE don't do that. Maybe stop writing in it...disown it or something. It's just too enjoyable to delete.

from krugerpak007 :

Your neighbour obviously does not know what she is missing...I hope you have a good Sunday anyway.Take care!:-)Kathy

from nudeplatypus :

That is a scary picture. Do little kids go to this park? Does whoever put the sculpture there realize the years of therapy that those kids will probably need?

from krugerpak007 :

I liked reading about your sisters, and seen the pics... I hope everything works out with your neighbour and that you end up having fun, and anything else which may develop. Take care of yourself and just enjoy!:-)Kathy

from chained-soul :

You must be catching your neighbor when she is on her period...That would explain her moodiness, lack of dependability, etc...PMS is a bitch...LMAO

from krugerpak007 :

These days I am really not good with words...but I wanted to tell you that I am sorry about your dad. I don't know what else I can say,probably nothing, to make it any easier for you and your family to deal with this. But I am here, reading your updates and your thoughts, and your sweet notes. From just this short time of reading your diary I can already tell that any girl that lands up with you will be very lucky. Wishing you all the best. Take care and thanks again for making me feel better.:-) Kathy

from ncss :

don't go around comparing sparks to nicoles and marys. Sure they were hard to get through and are obviously on your mind, but if we go around comparing all of our sparks to great loves of our past, are we really giving the new sparks a shot?

from nudeplatypus :

Yeah, ice cream's bad for you. So are Oreos in case you haven't heard. And who the hell eats three big macs and cheese in one setting. Therefore, ice cream really isn't as bad as Big Macs. As for Ben & Jerry: Cherry Garcia Frozen Yogurt...in fact, I kind of wish I had some right now.

from whovillian :

Hey sweetie. I know what you mean about your father. Mine recently had a stroke so I had to come to terms about his failing health and having to "clean" him after an accident. It is hard but one good thing about it is that I learnt to cherish moments with him and not just let them slide away. *hugs*

from whovillian :

from nicoleprice :

Hi stranger. Was in the neighborhood today. Thought I'd say hello and let you know that I have a LOT of Swim-reading to do. Geez. I think I only got through about 1/20th of what you've written since July 2nd! Keep up the good work, fellow obsessive writer. Hope all is well. Take care. Mail cometh. -melissa

from pattymelt :

hey, i took that quiz and i had 75-100% chance i'd cheat. needless to say, i didn't post the results!

from voicescarry :

I am SO completely jealous of your fish. Seriously, I want some really badly, but my cats would just fish them out and eat them. So I'm saving myself the heartache before it happens...maybe I'll get some when I go to college.

from chained-soul :

I am hoping that your father is doing well, under the circumstances...He's a terrific person...

from krugerpak007 :

Yes, have to up my gym visits! Wow, your workouts are something else! You are so interesting... :-)Kathy

from naridu :

*grin* Thanks, it's looking to be fantastic :)

from krugerpak007 :

You are right...I have to pull myself towards myself! I hope that when you are back at work you will still update because I would miss you.Kathy

from chained-soul :

thanks for the touching words about me in your diary tonite...i am truly glad you are in my life as well, and i can honestly say that i've grown by knowing you, and spending time with you...great epiphanies, mine are usually really stupid, or lacking in intelligence-like the hair thing earlier!!!...take care...

from krugerpak007 :

I have been reading your older entries and enjoying every minute. Are all of these beautiful pictures taken by you? I like your diary a lot. Kathy

from whovillian :

Im so jealous you are at the beach while I sit here in front of computer trying to write a paper that is due today....page 4 of 10....lol

from influence :

yes, taunting others in front of an internet audience is always amusing. i've left him alone for far too long.

from nudeplatypus :

Deniability is a real world. I looked it up because I'm a geek like that also I head it about 22 gazillion times while in law school.

from naridu :

I hope I get this job too ;) it's strange isn't it, my sexuality affecting my relationships just never really occured to me until the other day. When I look back over my history so many relationships finally begin to make sense. Oh to be plain and simply straight.

from nudeplatypus :

When you have roommates some things should just be understood...not eating your roommates chilled pineapple is at the top of the list.

from krugerpak007 :

Thank you for your sweet note. Your trip that you are planning sounds like a dream come true. On the road alone....Take care, Kathy

from oceangypsy :

Yes there is more to the dream. It concluded with those little silver balls turning into steel and melding to John's shoes in a kind a rollerblade-type of deal. He then showed off to us "skating" around the arena and made sure to let us know that we all could do it also. But in my dream, no one tried it and just watched him have his fun because we all knew it doesn't come very often.

from krugerpak007 :

It is so nice to get notes and to know that someone reads my diary. I am 5"7...Sounds like you had such a nice relaxing day on the beach. Take care and have a good week. kathy

from krugerpak007 :

I just came across you diary-and wow I love it. I hope you do not mind that I added you to my favorites and would definately like to come back. Take care! Kathy

from bobsquared69 :

its not so much revenge sex as it is that were both going to sleep with someone else at some point and i just have this feeling that itll hurt so much more when he does if i havent already... i dont want to be with anyone else, and i dont want to hurt him, but i think in order to protect myself, its something ill need to do in the future... i dunno. its just crazy.

from soul-bleeds :

I love my mom dearly and would rather live with her. The thing is, I wasn't really liked in Ohio for reasons that are unbeknownst to me and all my friends are here. Moving away from everything and everybody that ever made me happy ... especially my Senior year of hs ... would be my breaking point I guess. But I've got the best news EVER!! I get to stay here! Thank you so much for your notes! -- Heather

from ncss :

perhaps you will wonder and you may regret, but obviously kissing her wasn't in the cards at that moment. And if the moment is to be, it will arise again.

from whovillian :

Thanks for supporting me on that one..if though I was acting like a two year old whining about an ice cream lick....lol....

from whovillian :

Ahem..it was an experience I won't soon forget either.....glad it was the same foryou ..sorry about the phone bill though...one day I will have to call to make up for it..*eyes batting* of course...muuuah

from onomatopoeic :

I love Hemingway's iceberg theory.

from whovillian :

Saying bye is very hard thing to do, all I can offer is a hug :)...and very big hug at that too

from violetwoman :

We've planted hundreds of daffodils on the property. The stump was a rather nice touch, I must admit. I am so frustrated with my picture taking efforts lately. My good camera conked out last year and it just isn't on my priority list(financially) to replace it with one of an equal quality. My girlfriend gave me a cheapie to use and I am very miserable. A shot turns out nicely if I am lucky, usually I just want to throw them out. Maybe I'll ask for a new camera for Christmas, hmmmm.....and to add insult to injury, last year in an anesthetic haze after surgery, for some demented reason I culled hundreds of of my scenery photographs and threw them out. Now, all would not have been lost if I HADN'T SHREDDED THEM INTO TINY PIECES! I'm still annoyed with my girlfriend for sitting there watching me do that! She said she thought I knew what I was doing, and I don't even remember doing it! Hey, sorry, prolonged note....have a great Sunday!

from nudeplatypus :

I'm considering moving and I told someone that I was going to move to Oregon and they looked at me like I was insane. I've never been to Oregon but I'm sure it's a very nice place.

from onomatopoeic :

How does one tell if one is pregnant?

from chained-soul :

here's to hoping that you get to keep all of your fingers...and if you DO happen to blow one off, lets hope it's not the all-important birdie finger!!!...

from whovillian :

Thanks for your kind words sweetie....just one of those times where you wish the two week bad luck period would just GO AWAY...it isn't fun anymore....lol..

from naridu :

wooops! Signed that under the wrong log in :/

from book-club :

Peas hmmm? Good idea to steer clear of that one. I took a variety of those test myself, although I can happily say that instead of peas, apparently i taste of chocolate. Hey, suits me just fine :) I'm going to tell that little frankfurt where to go if he calls again, *up steps the authorative naridu* - we'll see how she goes.

from mojo1915 :

Howdy friend! I would just like to tell you to have a great day. ;)

from bobsquared69 :

thank you

from nudeplatypus :

I really don't understand the allure of playing with fireworks? Is it a testosterone thing?

from onomatopoeic :

Maybe I should just take a break from dating?

from onomatopoeic :

Girls tend to be more understanding. I love men. It's just that girls are generally less hurtful.

from onomatopoeic :

I will be a Freshman in college this Fall.

from onomatopoeic :

It's of-her-(broken)soul, again.

from chained-soul :

well, it's true...and, you're welcome...

from chained-soul :

I'm glad to hear that you had a pleasant date...Hope things go well for you...

from whovillian :

Thanks for your note..He brings a smile to my face and that is all I ask for in a man :-)....I see your life is getting a little spicer too.....*winks*

from whovillian :

How are you my dear?? *giggles*...love the pics of the sunsets....thx

from ninabean :

i'm glad to see there IS a male out there who believes in the friends thing... to me it gets entirely frustrating... explaining it to men makes me a bad guy.. explaining it to female friends makes them roll their eyes and say "I swear, sometimes you think like a man!"... and i'm left wondering whats wrong with everyone lol

from skinnyboney :

hi sweetheart, thanks for your note - it made my day...i'm sorry that you seem to be going through a rough time right now...take care, xoxo isn

from nicoleprice :

Okay, I think my email's working again. You can try sending me a message. I'll reply tonight when I get back from mi parientes. Hope all is well, -mel

from nicoleprice :

I used to want a Buddha statue so I could rub his belly for good luck. After getting both my beloved apt AND my well-paying (if not aggravating as hell) job back, I now realize *[I]* am a walking lucky charm. Whenever I want some good luck, I'll just rub my own belly.

from nicoleprice :

Hi S. I just read your entry about me. Thanks for your empathy. I wasn't really nervous or apprehensive at all about the move. I was more excited than anything else. No, fear wasn't a part of the equation. For some reason. Thanks for thinking of me and praying for me while I was gone. I'm home again. Home. Home. Home. I love my home. TTYL.

from whovillian :

Thanks sweetie....hope everything is great with you too....:-)

from nicoleprice :

Hi S! Hope all is well. No, Tucson wasn't for me. I am not there anymore. It was, however, worth every dollar spent, every minute suffered and every mile driven. It was a turning point. I am happy I did it. I gave birth in Tucson, to myself. Email not good. Write me at old address? Hope all is well and you are happy & healthy! -M

from onlylittle :

you're welcome. :) your words mirror a lot of the things that i think, although i don't write about them. i prefer to think that i don't actually HAVE real thoughts... just a normal, shallow girl here, thanks. :) maybe someday i'll be able to share the deep and dark. ;) take care. .ol.

from swimlady0 :

Maybe I should explain where I got my screenname since you are so fascinated by it. I used to have just swimlady when I was in high school, cause I was on the swim team and such. Then my senior year, I didn't do it and just became their timer/manager. That is why the zero is added on. I still love to swim, but I don't do it in competition anymore. I also don't like looking at diaries from Erie, cause I know way too many people.

from swimlady0 :

I didn't really think anyone was interested in lil ol me. If you really want to know about me...check out my dream diary at oceangypsy.diaryland.com. If you aren't freaked out by my dreams, I may let you in my personal diary. If you're also interested, I have a live journal and my user name there is oceangypsymoon. I'll think about letting you in my diary.

from bobsquared69 :

i cant help how or what i feel... and what do you mean by dissapointment? were in this one for the long haul.

from osoinsane :

hey, i really enjoy reading your diary. u have so many messages so i doubt youll even read mine but i hope you do. you are a great writer and i hope i can talk to you sometime. u can IM me at brokenangel132 if you want to. i love your layout and everything you have to say. i just hope you read this...

from violetwoman :

Yes. Up and down on the roller coaster of life, that's me! I just wish I could figure out a way to enjoy the damn ride!

from crazygurl30 :

1. dude your layout and pictures rock. I wish I could figure out just how to do all that cool stuff. 2. yep your right this guy is avoiding me and being a jerk. I deserve better and if he can't even have the balls to be a man and say sorry it just doesn't work for me, then oh freakin well...there are other fish in the sea....right? If I don't log back on again this weekend have a great one and here's to hoping that at least one of us gets some satisfying play....just kidding but it would be nice eh?

from crazygurl30 :

hahaha you know i love to tease:) but it's seriously been that long and probably longer that anything has happened worth remember down there. catch my drift;) anyway glad to join the "fraternity" of swim coaches. i'm still worried about the guy but i really don't know what to do. i mean should i call and just be like whats up dude obviously something is going on or should i just let it go...either way i still feel like shit which sucks!!! i still have yet to figure out which is worse...being lonely with no relationship, or having someone but yet always dealing with drama and all the normal bs that goes along. hmmmm i guess i'm still holding out for my knight. although my friend did tell me the other day that i need to learn how to be able to have sex without getting attached or without having feelings for the guy. just no-strings-attached sex...is it really that easy?

from whovillian :

Hey you....thx for the message. I had a very busy weekend....*ahem* an awesome one too....

from lovinglav :

Some very profound entries you have lately. Keep it up, I look forward to hearing from you on IM soon.

from redhorse :

i like the new attitude, steve! wicked!

from voicescarry :

I think that ranting, especially in your own journal, is a perfectly healthy and normal way of getting bad feelings out of your system. Also, thanks for always leaving those nice, supportive little notes for me, I really appreciate them

from anifish :

I think I can relate. I have been told I don't have any feelings... But yeah, sadness and pain at least let you know you're alive. I have been very indifferent lately, which is scary because it brings to mind the mice mentioned in the short story, "The Door" by E.B. White who stopped caring... But I digress...

from onlylittle :

yeah so i digressed... recentmoon that's my aim.

from onlylittle :

hey i was wondering if you'd like to add me to your AIM. i just joined it (cause i used Trillian and I hated having blank spaces at the bottom of the screen... no OCD here) and now I'm looking for people to add to it. I figure I'll keep it as my "anonymous" chat medium. So basically, nobody I know in real life. Since you seem to fit in that category... yeah. :) Anyway, if not, it's all good. BYE!! .ol. ps: loved your entry today. ohhh and *hugs*

from onlylittle :

and ps: you can delete my other diary off your faves list, if you want. it's obsolete now and has no meaning. damn nosy bastards!! .ol.

from onlylittle :

*hugs* i actually wrote that entry immediately after reading yours... guess i must've been ispired. hope everything gets better soon. take care of you... .ol.

from violetwoman :

Hey, thanks for your note! Loved your recent entry on your travels four years ago. Wish I could do that. I haven't been anywhere in so long. Mind you, it's a beautiful place where I live, all mountains and lakes and forests and ocean. Can't beat that. Anyways, I hope you're enjoying the day so far. Kim

from scorpio79 :

Well I am so sorry that you are going through this shit. I feel your pain. And when I say that I mean I am going through alot of rough shit as well, but I know that there will be good to come in the future. Just hold your head high and set some new goals for yourself. Maybe find a hobby. It was good to hear from you. Keep your chin up!

from deathcake :

I don't know what to say, but I can offer you this: ((((swimmydude))))

from whovillian :

well then sweets..hook me up..i think my hotmail email is on there...if not [email protected] me with your best flirts......*awaits while blowing on her fingernails*

from whovillian :

well sweetie...you should see me in action on messager or on the phone...not sure you could handle it ....* smiles while looking to the skies*

from whovillian :

well then....i have brown hair too (which is currently dyed to a redish tint) *flips her hair off her shoulders*

from whovillian :

ahhh..no going back now...LOL..but not as fun when there is five mintue delay on repsonses...*bats her pretty big brown eyes*

from whovillian :

is that an invite....

from whovillian :

sweetie....you left yourself a message....lol

from whovillian :

oh yeah...i can flirt like the best of them all...and I rather enjoy it too..only I do it with men and women...;-)

from whovillian :

yeah they baffle me daily...but I know I will survive without them...I think I just need the daily entertainment of it all..LOL

from whovillian :

thx..I'm glad that you enjoyed reading them...although I don't think I'm nearly as entertaining as some others on here

from violetwoman :

Hi there, pleased to meet you! Thanks for your note, it was an unexpected, but lovely surprise. Although I had to laugh when you mention in your profile that you don't like complainers or something like that. I always thought my diary possessed a lavish abundance of complaining (and the more annoying trait--not doing anything about it!) But I'm so glad that you enjoy my writing, no matter the content. Love your pictures. I have yet to see the East Coast in its autumn glory. My girlfriend lived there for years but rarely left the big city except to do her jaunts to Atlantic City. Eh, I am babbling, time to write an entry instead. Kim

from bobsquared69 :

just to clear things up... jc and i arent like commited to eachother or anything. i wouldnt ever make someone that far away divote themselves to me. we havent met yet, but are going to soon. he went to elementry school with a friend of mine (she moved up here from florida) and she introduced us. so yeah. at this point we arent together, at least not really...

from whovillian :

thanks for the note and understanding my moment of despair...lol...although the moment soon passes when I remember that they rarely put the toilet seat down..:-)

from lovinglav :

um leave me a note, humor me please I am at work and my boss has said not even two words to me yet after being away for a week.

from cuntgirl :

without a computer, I don't even get a chance to tell you I miss you

from pattymelt :

i know what you're saying - digger is one of like 2 guys in the past 3 years that i even care to know anything about. you kow me, i usually just use a guy for sex and go my merry way. it's a little scary but i'm game...

from lovinglav :

good evening... and I don't understand your entry with the burnt trees.

from lovinglav :

good morning

from lovinglav :

are we interacting today? And thanks for your last note... It took me all of 3 minutes to create that entry. Mike told me that it explains a lot about how my emotions work.

from nudeplatypus :

I didn't actually read the email...but I'm pretty sure that grape popsicles do have something to do with massive lady-pleasers.

from lovinglav :

So you never used google images? Where have you been man? Hey I look damn good today... I just had a trail mix bar and I am high on honey and protein.

from lovinglav :

okay I am slightly confused, but bear with me this has a tendancy to happen quite a bit... you couldn't find a picture of a coffee maker, or just a picture of YOUR coffee maker?

from lovinglav :

well depends on the type of work you do, since I am a slave to my computer I can multi-task! Actually I work better when I do two things at once, it is a common trait of women. It's how our brain is wired, mothering, gathering, cooking... so and and so forth. Blah...

from lovinglav :

are you at work right now?

from lovinglav :

of course ali, what was I thinking... I suppose I read too much into that. I hope I didn't offend you or her. Don't hate me, don't leave mean notes I don't wanna cry. So you got my email? are you talking a live pic?

from lovinglav :

oh a companion? I said "lets" go as in let us go didn't I? Well we could do a threesome. Mike would feel left out if I went solo with you. Now don't go thinking that you dirty boy.

from lovinglav :

oh I just checked my notes, this is quite fun, especially when I get compliments (ego inflation warning) So do I get to see a whole face of you, your mouth is okay but it's all in the eyes... email if you wanna kept it private. Thanks for the admiration :)~

from lovinglav :

out west? I went out there once in 1992 it was a driving vacation from hell but it was incredible... no picture will do any of that area justice. Snake river white water rafting, horseback among the red rocks, sitting in the hot springs... oh lets go back!

from bluering :

drama is as drama does, it seems in my life.

from lovinglav :

you forgot to mention how exquisite I look today!?!

from lovinglav :

Interacting as how? What exactly are the bears doing in that pic? Let me know... really leave me a note okay? thank dude!

from bluering :

thank you.

from lovinglav :

you have a password now

from lovinglav :

it's back now and I will post from home only

from lovinglav :

sorry man, I had to delete them, people at work found it and were reading it

from bluering :

i'm glad i managed to articulate it all rather nicely then. and the funny thing, the questions you have i have only i couldn't figure out how to get them down on paper. even the electronic kind.

from influence :

1 - gods don't have days, they're eternal. 2 - i'm on board with that one, anyone who could come up with the inverse relationship between head and ass hair is the master of sick jokes. 3 - design by committee, yeah, that sounds about right for this place.

from influence :

don't even get me started on bugs. they're my whole counter to the god by design argument. you know, the "the world is so intricate it must have been made by a god" thing? yeah, i'm thinking anyone that smart, could have done the same basic thing, minus the bugs.

from influence :

oh c'mon, you can't eliminate people, god, one of those gods, said all this stuff and the animals are ours, we can trash them if we want. See, if we start with the big fish, then we won't have to worry about any more "Summer of the Shark" things happening. Then snakes. Everyone knows snakes are evil anyway, they'll be a natural extention of the War on Terror really. Then I say kangaroos. Some people like them, but I don't know, I just don't trust them somehow.

from lovinglav :

your welcome...I hope you enjoy. Just to warn you I have an evil mean reader who posts evil mean stuff and I just delete it... so ingnore it ok?

from redhorse :

TRILIUM!!!

from chained-soul :

just how soon is soon?...REALLY x3 soon?...

from chained-soul :

so now i'm a silly southerner?...you just remember that in 14 days when you have to come get me at the airport...this silly southerner will have a little present for you...

from deathcake :

hehehe! Aw, Steven, come on, darlin`! Please tell me you can see the humorous freudian slippage in your statement "my own personal nail hole." Get it? Nailed?! Aren't you able to have a sense of humor about this topic? If that's the case I'm totally sorry if I upset you, swimmydude ;)

from chained-soul :

what makes you think that?...it's just a thought that popped into my head last nite...

from deathcake :

na, don't feel sad for me. seriously, it doesn't help or accomplish anything positive atall. i can do all the sad-ing i need. you just keep ona writin` the good stuff ;)

from chained-soul :

i like the weather pixie addition, now i can see what your weather is like, as well...

from chained-soul :

thank you for making this happen...can't hardly wait...and thank you for simply being you...xoxo

from of-her-soul :

I've missed you, too! My mind is still wavering on writing again. There's definitely a possibility of a few short-lived updates. How are things in your life, stranger?

from onlylittle :

ahhhh... it all makes sense now. thanks. :) .ol.

from of-her-soul :

Remember?

from nicoleprice :

Hey Sexy Thang.

from onlylittle :

:D .ol.

from onlylittle :

hi, honey! that's it. :) .ol.

from ursaminor2 :

hey there, melissa has been talking about you a bit lately. I finally had some time today to address my curiositys, so I spent some time probing your brain. Glad I did. Take care!

from nicoleprice :

Ok, was just surfing around your old quizzes. The sex quiz diva site was just plain distasteful site. Blech. Poor taste.

from nicoleprice :

Okay! I have to leave in about 15 minutes and it's 8:55 now, so if you can't get thawed-out in time, know that I will write you tomorrow when I get into the office. And know that I adore you. -Mel

from nicoleprice :

Thanks. I feel like this entry will send him into the hate mail zone though. Maybe I should delete it just to be safe.

from deathcake :

well, technically, for me to be able to even leave you *these* notes I would have to had gained some kind of access to your notes....... so.... One person, and it's not a big deal, except that his behavior will likely not fare him well. Thanks for trying to help. ;)

from deathcake :

Steve, a technical question re: gold memberships. Are you able to, as a gold memeber, go back to diaries that you left notes in and delete them later on? Someone left me notes and now they're gone, but I didn't delete them.

from chained-soul :

so glad to know that you leave the toilet seat down, and i figured that you opened doors for others...glad to know we're on the same wavelenght regarding the giant poodles...they give me the creeps...

from chained-soul :

i was talking bout yahoo messenger for instant messages...the AIM slows down my computer for some reason...i was just ranting, its no big deal...i am just happy that we are able to chat with each other...

from chained-soul :

I enjoyed talking to you last nite, and I'm looking forward to our next conversation...I took time to think of more questions for you...And if my diary entry only made you feel a little special, then I need to step it up a bit, don't I?!!!....Sending you a nice, warm, comfortable spoon:)

from nicoleprice :

oh, hee hee, sorry. Well, we're in a similar (I won't say the SAME)boat. I'm good and sick of cold weather. I'm Hawai'i dreaming. We have t-storms this am. Got to work late. Can't write yet. Will later. Big hug from me to you.

from nicoleprice :

Good idea. I will stay in touch. Promise! Talk to you tomorrow morning. Thanks for all your funnies and care and kind words. You're a good man. And a good friend. Thank you for who you are. 'Til tomorrow, -Mel

from nicoleprice :

Oh, Ya got me. No witty comeback. Melissa is speechless. You win. Alright, one more hug and then I REALLY gotta go. <hhhhuuugggggggggggg> Ahhhhh. Maybe just one more, 'cause it's Wednesday. <bigggggggggghhhhhhugggggggggg> You know, hump day and all....Oh, tacky, Melissa, tacky. One more? Okay, but THEN I gotta go....

from nicoleprice :

:o) Thank you. :o) Thank you. :o) Thank you. Big hug from me to you. And another. Okay, one more but then people will start staring. Big hug. Okay now we have to stop. What's in your pocket? Okay one more hug and then I gotta go. Big hug! from me to you. Thanks for your kindness and human spirit. Texas Mail cometh. Luv ya, -Mel

from cuntgirl :

how sad/ironic is it that of all the things to catch it, it was the comment you made there. I did the search again today, as I got another emal from the person who's got me now so skiddish, he learned I write here, and has become determined to find it out. There are other places I write, and the LJ options of only letting certain people read it has been more and more used recently. There's no email address listed on your page by the way, and I can't open my address book as my computer's broken. Thanks for taking the time to re-obscure that, it makes my life a lot easier. I have mentioned my name plenty of times, none of those show up on google, only yours, but I'll continue checking from now on anyway

from desertwitch :

YAAA babEEE!!! Thanks for making me tingle -- again! Most happy to please my swimmmer man! *slllurrpy kiss*

from pugilist :

hey! i couldn't help it! my roommate was listening to the radio and the song came on and it just got stuck!

from desertwitch :

HEY! Long time me no write to my sweet swimmmer! Thanks for taking me out of my pissed off mood. Gotta get ready for work now -- so, studying permiting, will finally catch up to you later!

from nicoleprice :

Hi Swimmm, I removed the password. Unnecessary and a time-waster. Really, who am I hiding from? I've got nothing to hide. I've done no barbaric wrong. You have a great day, Swimmm. Thank you for the pix. TTYL, -Melissa

from nicoleprice :

Oops! I've been continuously interrupted all damn day and have been trying to get pals and password squared-away. sorry for my lateness in giving you yours. Check your email, sweetie. Love & respect from Sillygirl!

from redhorse :

wooooooooo! that does sound like kitten fun!

from scorpio79 :

Hi Steve, I has been a while since I have really been into diaryland. I have been really busy lately, sorry for being so neglectful. I wish I had more time to read your entries. I just updated my diary, it is pretty boring. If you get a chance you can read it. Talk to ya soon.

from pugilist :

actually, i did have a birthday. i'm 1450834750! no, really i'm just 19.

from redhorse :

water pistol night ?? hmmmmmm.(you were a good kitty daddy)

from nicoleprice :

Hi Swimmm, I hope you're running around, doing all the things you love. Did you ever get my letter? I am enjoying a solid hour of i-net access due to a glitch in the back office. Wheeee! Actually, it's kinda draining, to be honest. Oh well, work beckons. Miss you. You have my mailing address right? -Love & respect from Texas, -Melissa

from pugilist :

a labret is a piercing located below the bottom lip. if you go to bme.com you shouls be able to find a few pictures.

from sarahcraik :

Where have you been?

from nicoleprice :

Hi.

from sarahcraik :

Hey- I missed you this week. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods. Your sister lives in Colorado? Well well. I am looking into jobs in the Colorado Springs area. If she has any connections, I would be more than grateful. Take care! Sarah

from cuntgirl :

you're one of the most dependable people in terms of being supportive in my life, do you know that? I don't feel I can repay your kindness, but I am awfully thankful

from desertwitch :

Hey! Get a Yahoo IM name!!! Then we can do the IM thang again! ; )

from desertwitch :

BOO!!! I'm baaaack! Please forgive my lazy butt for not messaging sooner, but have been having too much fun today -- haha: jogging, avoiding Angela and Mom, and trying to make the bells and whistles of my DSL work. Catch ya later, swimmer boy! ; )

from nicoleprice :

Hi Swimmm! Thank you for thinking of me and including me in your New Year's wishes. Life sure is interesting. I love where I'm headed in the grand scheme of things. The possibilities are endless, and that rocks. Sometimes you just have to say, screw the status quo - I'm doing what [I] want now. Take care. Dream. Laugh. Try. Risk. Enjoy. Talk to you later, -Melissa

from of-her-soul :

I'll be sure to swing by there if ever I'm in those parts or wanting to stalk you.

from of-her-soul :

Happy New Year! And thanks so much for your compassionate note.

from nicoleprice :

Hi Swimmm! I am back from outer space. We are losing our internet priveleges at work sometime friday, so email me your physical address before then. I hope all is well and that you are loving life. I know I am. I did something weird friday night: I went to a pub with my friends. I know. Shocker. No, I don't have a fever. And I don't think I'm dying either. Just had a wild desire to do the pub with my pals. That should hold me for another year... :0)

from redhorse :

i hear that! i plan on going to turky, morocco and thiland, maybe vietnam, if and when i get a chance

from nosimplefx :

Wow. You rock

from nosimplefx :

Wow. You rock

from sarahcraik :

Oh- by the way- my IM name is SarCraik- holler at me if you get a chance

from sarahcraik :

Glad to know that your obscurities lie in the here and now and I have to admit, you are doing a fantastic job of redeeming the name of... well you know. I am about 1/3 of the way through Aztec right now. A bit steamy... kind of like the male version of a romance novel with a bit of incest thrown in there. Very interesting. I love the sarcasm! Now, we are going to have to have a talk about the Texas weather thing. Oh yes my friend. I read the post...Now I was born in Louisianna, but once converted to Texanism- one rarely goes back. I suppose I am Texan through and through now. Contrary to popular belief, we do not all sound like hillbillies. Although I can turn on that Texas southern charm when needed, I avoid the "twang" that so many people associate with Texas. Yes the weather here really can change within an hour, but you can never complain that it is predictable or dull. The one thing that I have to say is difficult for me about Texas- is the fact that I have to drive to Colorado to snow ski. I wish I lived somewhere where I could ski at least once a week if not everyday. Thanks for all your comments and notes... it's really nice having you around too. Sarah

from cuntgirl :

for once we had a christmas where it was more about my parent's getting gifts in place of us. The looks on my mom's face after all the work I put into finding her something good is what I'll remember for years to come. by this evening, I couldn't tell you what I had gotten. I like it this way. thank you for letting me realize why

from of-her-soul :

Happy holidays, xo.

from halfsorry :

I just wanted to wish you a very, very merry Christmas and to tell you thank you yet again for all of the wonderful notes and comments that you leave me. You may not know this, but they always touch my heart and make me smile.

from precognitive :

psst! i'm a vegetarian!

from cuntgirl :

It's made my brain crazy. I was going to write that last post as I should-I-try-to-get-a-hold-of-him-or-not post, but in the time it took to write that, I wrote to him. We'll see how it goes. The computer I've been using for the last 6 month is his, so he'll have to theoretically talk to me before he goes to Korea, and who knows what I'll do for a computer then. I feel so very tumled in my head, it's good to know others out there think of me. Thank you.

from of-her-soul :

I hope things are going up, xo.

from sexfiendgirl :

Yes. our planet is doomed. blah. and not enough people care to do anything about it. but anyway, isn't my prof awesome??? yes he is. regards.

from nicoleprice :

Deal. Bring it on! Switch over to Email, Swimmm. And I'll sing for my supper. Er, cell phone bill.

from nicoleprice :

Hello? Swimmm? You there?

from nicoleprice :

Hey, buddy, can ya spare a buck? No? Aw, come on. How 'bout a quarter. Ya got a quarter? COME ON MAN. ---- or to quote a LIVE song: "Come on baby leave some change behind, she was a bitch, but good enough to leave some change. Everybody's good enough for some change. Some f*ckin' change! COME ON!"

from nicoleprice :

Hidey-ho, neighbor! What's the word of the day, my friend?

from nicoleprice :

Eek! I have to go! Got class tonight. I'll talk to you tomorrow (Friday). Enjoy!!

from nicoleprice :

I do! I'll have to reciprocate as soon as possible. How've ya been?

from nicoleprice :

So what's a desert fox like you doing in Iceberg, PA?

from nicoleprice :

I like when you get philosophical. Email me about the zen buddhist methodist thing. I don't understand. But want to.

from precognitive :

haha. congratulations, you just did.

from nicoleprice :

You feel like writing.....You feel like writing....You will now update your diary.....You want to update your diary....You will now click "Add an entry".....

from deathcake :

NO, no... heavens no! Quit spending time on my favorite boards, posting and reading.

from nicoleprice :

That DID look Japanese, didn't it. I added "Dakota Nation" just for the sake of clarification. --Respect from Texas.

from desertwitch :

-- and yes, you DO have to watch out with us mothafuckin girls from California! ; )

from desertwitch :

Now I'm waiting to read Part II of Mary's story! So till then, happy Thanksgiving, you fine man you!

from of-her-soul :

Definitely not into sexual activities/desires as much. Avoid average women at all costs. "I try not to whine, but I must warn ya, 'bout the mothafuckin' girls from California." Sorry, the lyrics automatically came to my head. Hehe.

from of-her-soul :

Abnormal as in great quantities of desire. More than, oh say, the average woman. As to whom, whoever invented the word, I would guess. My friends seem to think I'm a nymphomaniac. Can't say I can disagree.

from nicoleprice :

Okay. Give me a minute.

from nicoleprice :

Do you mean Carla? Isn't she a doll? I adore her. Well, my options tonight are down to email and I think IM. I'm at "Will's" house. He's working at the studio tonight. So I thought I'd come over & enjoy the rare shot at a computer while NOT being at work. Inspired some great thoughts, that's for sure. Oh, my god, I started to type my cell number. Wow. Not the sharpest thing to do. Hee hee. Okay, let's email. That's the best I can do tonight. Plus I know you're on a time schedule. What do ya say, Swimmm? Green light?

from nicoleprice :

Yay!!!!! I thought you'd never ask!!!!!! Let's do it!

from nicoleprice :

Oh, I didn't mean that to sound as flirtatious as it did! I went back and re-read it and oops. Ha ha ha. That definitely sounded like I was saying I'm not good at being patient (hint hint call me big daddy). Haha. I wrote talk but I meant communicate. Not to say I wouldn't want to SPEAK with you on the phone. I certainly wouldn't be adverse to that. I'm just trying (somewhat pathetically) to make the point that I am not hitting on you. I certainly adore your mind, and can't wait for you to write me back. I admit that. So hurry!!!! Write back!!!!

from nicoleprice :

this is funny but also torturous. I zig when you zag. I'm not good at being patient. I want to talk to you!

from nicoleprice :

Ah, fate smiles upon the wolf girl. Are you by chance still there now?

from nicoleprice :

Darn. It looks like I missed you. Was worth a shot. Thought I might catch you before you disappeared again. Well, everything happens for a good reason, so maybe it wasn't a good time for us to chat tonight. I'll wait a couple minutes after I send this, just to be sure. If I don't hear back from you, enjoy. Enjoy whatever it is you do when you're not out saving the world one kid at a time. It's cold. Bundle up. -Respect from Texas

from nicoleprice :

Hi Swimmm! I just found your note. And with as much trouble I just went through to write you back, I'd better make it good. Yes, the give and take HAS been gratifying. Do you know "All Night Thing" by Temple of the Dog?

from nicoleprice :

I'm going home now, Swimmmer. I'll rattle your chain sometime tomorrow, to see if you're around. If I don't hear from you, I hope you enjoy every minute of your holiday. Have good dreams. Good night, S. [Melissa drives off into the dark night....vrooooooom.]

from nicoleprice :

Oh, well I'm making earrings with Mirja on friday.

from nicoleprice :

Ah, the good life. I am unsupervised. I am probably the last person on the entire 3rd floor. I cancelled tonight's invite b/c I'm just so beat. Ready to go home and put on something good and simply relax. I haven't drawn in a long time. Maybe I'll draw this w/e sometime. No plans except to relax.

from nicoleprice :

Wow! What timing! I was just packing-up to leave. Yes, I'm still here. How was your day?

from nicoleprice :

Wow, I thought today would be easy, you know, day before a holiday. No such luck. I hope you have a great holiday and a great few days off. Oh, wait, I'll be in to work tomorrow to do a little catch-up. So feel free to stop by and say hello. You can't miss me. I'm the dork who went to work on her day off. Have sweet dreams. And of course, I can't sign off without one of these :0) Talk to you tomorrow if you're around. G'night.

from redhorse :

snow! ha! yester day it was as warm here as in Seattle! (alaska) heehee!

from nicoleprice :

:) Hey, it's practically tradition.

from nicoleprice :

Mutual friends, isn't that a neat little coincidence. I say it all the time to my best friend (Urs), and you said it just a moment ago, but great minds apparently DO think alike. Well, I gather from your verbiage that our notes are over for tonight, so listen, I'm glad you noted. Thank you for being awesome and such fabulous company. I will most definitely note you tomorrow. Goodnight, brilliant, hilarious writer guy who ROCKS. Urs made a funny and I've been saying it all day long: "Yay yay Melissa goes skipping off." --'Night.

from nicoleprice :

Yes, I most certainly felt like a dumbass. And everyone left on the 3rd floor tonight heard me laughing MAO about it. Good times, good times...

from nicoleprice :

Okay, LMAO, just gave MYSELF a :). I'm useless.

from nicoleprice :

Hooooo. I have been sitting here trying to steady my hands on the keys, unable to write, because I'm laughing so hard. You are a blast. And you have a way with words that, I admit, I'm jealous of. Still laughing.

from nicoleprice :

Oh, smiley face, right. :0)

from nicoleprice :

Woops. In my mindless bliss, I clicked the reply icon and didn't have time to prepare a brilliant rebuttle. So, bear with me. I'm still high from your words. Wow. Thank you for every delightful sentence you just wrote. Talk about a gratifying answer. Wowza. I'm all giggly and flattered and suddenly thinking you are my favorite person in Erie. hee hee. I won't lie to you, Swim, I like the feeling I get when I think about you liking the feeling you get! How's that for shameless, albeit narcissistic, honesty.

from nicoleprice :

:) What do you mean?

from coquet :

Sorry Houston, we have a "no go" on the vaca. That's a "no go" Houston.

from nicoleprice :

I'm convinced that I've found my most effective means of exorcising demons. For me, posting them in my d works like a charm. I have written a few of these things before in a notebook. And it certainly helped. But posting them in D-Land has been the most cathartic to date. It may be the fact that people can read it, and many have had the same experiences. I like knowing that people will come across something in my diary and go "Oh my God, I thought I was the only one that happened to." I used to feel so abnormal about those bad experiences, but then I read a book and a couple of the women in it had similar experiences. And I thought "Oh my God, I'm not the only one." So....that's why I do my exorcising in public. Two birds with one stone. I heal me and I help someone else feel a little less alienated. I don't mean for that to sound trite. Sometimes I come off that way. I hope you had a very good day today. And I hope to hear from you tomorrow, if you get the chance. Oh, did I mention you rock? :0) Take good care.

from nicoleprice :

Hi Swim, thanks for the complimentary words. Much of it has to do with the fact that we are both unaggressive people. And there was no wrongdoing IN the marriage; no one was betrayed. That's a biggie. Had that happened, who knows how different this divorce would be. I'm glad you noted; I hope you always feel free to comment on anything that strikes you. Today is funny; I am happy until work creeps up and pulls me away from my personal life. Damn the man. Have a fantastic day & stay warm.

from pattymelt :

oh, and i love HOT spagetti sauce!

from pattymelt :

dude! that would be so cool! (the vegas thing)i love her! (you realize we are the same person, right? i mean, the same but different)

from desertwitch :

I'm back from my mental/emotional getaway at sis Coco's house. Now will grind my teeth and try to update on the whole mess in 6 paragraphs or less. Am sending you an e-mail too ASAP. Laters! ; )

from of-her-soul :

I wish I had a personal pair of handcuffs.

from desertwitch :

Hey! Sorry I couldn't make contact with you tongiht, but had an unexpected altercation, shall we say, with the sister I share the mama's house with. I will be spending the night and maybe further nights at my sis Coco's house. Will catch you as soon as I can reconfigure my PC or use the library one. Take care.

from of-her-soul :

California Westward?

from nicoleprice :

from of-her-soul :

I think you need a vacation, babe.

from nicoleprice :

Haha! Yes, I'm replying. I would make a great poster child for OCD. Can't IM. We have a firewall. Damn The Man. Hey, has anyone ever told you have a great night and I'll talk to you tomorrow? Ha. I am such the dork. Okay. This time I am serious. I really am leaving. Cat is waiting for me. So, for real this time, G'night, Swimmmer, g'night.

from nicoleprice :

Okay, I got distracted and found myself in your back issues. I seriously have to leave now but had to comment on two things: 1. the sculpture field sort of creeps me out just a bit, because it makes me think of ghosts moving slowly across the landscape. Boing. (Where the heck did I get that? Too much caffeine?) And 2. I like that you reply instantly. It's like having a real conversation. Okay, now it's 6:45, I better go. You know, miles to go before I sleep and all. Again, have a great night. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

from nicoleprice :

Good evening, Swimmmer. Talk about bizarre timing - I just finished reading your answers to Invisible Don's sex survey and found your note. Weird. No, I'm over those memories. Actually, I think POSTING them drove the final nail into their coffin. Bad memories are much like childhood monsters - they disappear when you turn on the light. First of all, letting yourself think about them weakens their control over you. And then TALKING ABOUT THEM eliminates it. Those experiences did make me into a compassionate person. Those things taught me that everyone hurts. Everyone has memories like this, that haunt them. So I learned that you should try to be kind to people; you never know what secret hell they're coping with. I'm going home now, I hope you have a fantastic evening. I'm glad you wrote. Thanks for your notes. They make me smile. Take care. G'night.

from coquet :

*sigh* My. Hero. =D *sigh*

from redhorse :

like i said, i know the stats... alaska is rife w/ abuse and counter abuse, its definately nice to hear something other than:kill them and let A Higher Athority sort it out...

from desertwitch :

Dang!!! And there I was trying to stay prim and proper myself!!! But glad I didn't do my usual text-flirtation - hah! Got to know lots of neat things about you, AND you're a "swimmer" for real -- hmmm, Trevor's a scuba diver...I'm beginning to see a pattern here! Checked you on AIM just now and you're not on, so can't expose you just yet to some good oldfashioned virtual sexual harassment *sigh*. But there's always a next time... and a next... and a next -- later! ; )

from nicoleprice :

Ohhhhh. You won't believe this. I just added YOUR diary to my favorites. I'm serious. And then I popped-in to note you and noticed MY name in YOURS. What incredible timing! Thank you!!!!!! I'm flattered. Honestly. Thanks. Now I forgot what I was originally going to tell you. heh. Zero short term memory for this girl. Well, it is late. And I should go home (I'm at work). Thank you for noting me, and oh, I remember what I originally noted you for. Thanks for being a good sport about the details, gurrrrl, details. I'm wondering how many people I irritated. Ah, well. That's burnt toast. Have a great evening, wherever you are right now. And I hope you are having fun. I'll be following along in your d, -Melissa

from nicoleprice :

Hi again. Eek, I've been spelling your name wrong all over the place. Will correct. Just wanted to say hello now that I'm back in my part of the country. It was great and I'm glad I did it. I lost nothing and gained a lot. Your words really reached me. Your words gave me the support to follow my heart. And I don't care if that sounds cheesy. It's true. Thank you for being the person you are.

from of-her-soul :

I'm okay now, no need to worry dear, but thanks. *Smiles*

from invisibledon :

thanks for playing in my neighborhood

from squirrelx :

Thank you VERY much for the note you left me. Your kindness is profoundly appreciated ... and I also wanted to tell you how much I like the autumnal photo you use in your diary. Somethin' about it both haunts and soothes my heart. Best, Xtine / Squirrel X

from desertwitch :

Oh -- and thank YOU for turning me on to Annie Waits. loveherloveherLOVEher!!!

from halfsorry :

I didn't even get to watch the game. I spent two and a half hours driving cheerlessly through Kansas. However, um. Ha ha. And neener neener.

from desertwitch :

You're welcome! ; )

from halfsorry :

Thank you. I tend to think more and more that we suffer from (and I'm about to suffer from more than I am already) the same affliction of the idea of true-love gone bad. I hope in the future you'll talk more about it, if you're comfortable, so that I can see where perhaps I may be given time. You're a peach. (Even if you're going to lose tomorrow.)

from ncss :

yes, my pics are from guelph. Actually, they're from the park that's right beside my house. There's a river that passes through the city and my house is right beside it. So it makes for picturesque evenings and day strolls :)

from nicoleprice :

You are so cool. Again, thank you! Thanks a bunch. Talk about moral support. You and my best friend are the only ones who aren't giving me flack. Thanks, thanks, you are cool. I will talk to you probably Monday. Yay, I'm excited. The guy I'm going to meet is SO cool. Talk to you Monday. Have a fun weekend!!

from nicoleprice :

Just got your note. Thanks for your words. It was nice to read what you had to say. I'll be peeking in on your d again soon to do some reading. Take care of yourself. :0)

from of-her-soul :

Happiness shouldn't be difficult, but alas the only happiness that comes easily is in the form of a pill, and even that takes weeks to work, if not at all. You deserve happiness.

from of-her-soul :

577 Days, 12 Hours, 45 Minutes, and Seconds flying by until I'm finally free. I hope you're right about time being on my side.

from desertwitch :

...and love the Niagara photo...brings back a good memory.

from desertwitch :

Thanks for dropping by! And thanks for the sweet though -- I agree. I think it was a learning experience, as to what I should tolerate and what I shouldn't. And looks like better things are coming my way because of it already. Will catch you later after I come back from PS. *kiss* ; )

from redhorse :

HEEHEE on the same note: husband, while chopping peppers, talking about*not*hurting himself w/pepper juice, touches his own chapped nose. "do you want some dairy milk to put that out?" "no" "just going to enjoy the adreniline?" "yup"

from redhorse :

Ummmm a while back you said you have a chronic fire food problem... under no circumstances should you tuch another person's naughty bits after chopping chillies, soap dont help. a milk bath will...

from gbg :

A belated welcome to the Trading Card Diaryring!

from deathcake :

i already do all that. and roll(breath with my tummy) to breathe on the second set of strokes, and something's still wrong. Also, sorry you got creeped out, i won't bother you about the number again.

from deathcake :

...and THAT, Steven, is exactly what's gotten me in this situation in the first place. Besides, the real man of my dreams would let me call him so he could give me free swim coaching ;)

from deathcake :

b/c I've seen many different subject matter for your pictures, quite a few of which won't load for me, and the half a dozen or so that feature people are taken at a distance and don't reveal the faces well enough.

from deathcake :

You sir, are a big fat fibber.

from cuntgirl :

I rock! heehee! i took me like 6 days to write that stupid thing, and as soon as I posted it, I kept thinking of all the other thinga that should have been on there instead

from deathcake :

hmmm, well... If my heart skips a beat when (and if) I see your pic, you've got the job! Lucky you!!! Run!! Hide!! }=D

from nudeplatypus :

There's no reason to rock the sad peacock because sometimes sad peacocks should not be messed with.

from of-her-soul :

Thank goddess! Nah, I won't barf, as you say, I already managed throwing up last night.

from of-her-soul :

Garbage the music group! Shirley Manson! Please say you're joking.

from of-her-soul :

That, and I was quoting Garbage.

from of-her-soul :

I'm in love with rain, but my soul remains in California.

from of-her-soul :

A girl who's only happy when it rains.

from redhorse :

yup, alittle north of the big city, alittle south of the other city, but all major northeren roads are broke, artesian wells have sprung,no deaths,1 injury, alot of broken dishes, overall no harm done. 7.9!

from desertwitch :

"There are too many people in my life that DON'T give me shit for me to waste time on the ones that do." Was reading through your oldies but goodies -- loved this because it expressed exactly how I felt this afternoon regarding a particular ugly little person today. Can't recall what date this entry was in, but very timely indeed! Oh, and yes, life AND writing can't all be nipple quizzes and froth! Laterz, Pedro! ; )

from of-her-soul :

I try to refrain from violence though.

from halfsorry :

Sadly, I have a very small amount of faith in my beloved Chiefs this year (almost well deserved). So I'm just going to remain silent on that for now ... but when we beat the crap out of you, oh, you'll hear about it all right. Anyway, not to be too effusive with the thank yous, but I want you to know this: I'm going through a really REALLY hard time right now, maybe the hardest ever, and the fact that you have taken and continue to take time out to care really means something. I had a bit of a teary moment just a second ago thinking about how fantastic it is when someone you don't know/doesn't know you can have the ability to create even small amounts of happiness in the middle of what seems to be complete darkness. So, yeah. Thanks again.

from halfsorry :

Ahhhhh. You are just too entirely wonderful for me not to say anything anymore. I have a bad, bad habit of rarely responding to notes or comments or really anything in general, but man, you rule. Thank you for all of everything, and now that I've finally gotten off of my lazy youknow, I am adding you as a favorite back. Big love.

from desertwitch :

Fun lil' nipple quiz. Hope to IM you, though have been offline much of this time, finally seems like I'm getting a life! Yay!

from ncss :

thank you for the message. I agree. And I'm not insecure or naive enough anymore to think that I can change someone or that it was only a one or two time thing. My friend said he was just showing his true colours and I have to agree and therefore can't put myself in that situation. Thanks for your words. They are always kind, supportive and wise :)

from of-her-soul :

I noticed multiple typos in my little note below; the many effects of sleep deprivation, heh. So how was your holiday?

from of-her-soul :

I KNOW! I was having dinner with my boyfriend at Chili's, and the song came on in the restaurant, and he mentioned he'd always hoped they'd play that song as his wedding, and I remembered how I used to obsess over it a long time ago. And I wondered if I'd always love him. And it's scary, because now I think he's to me, as Nicole is to you.

from desertwitch :

Thank you for your visit, kind sir! Looking forward to another! ;)

from lucky-starz :

thanks for the note. the things is, i know whats best for me. And part of me is so very excited about being on my own. I will miss him, a lot. And our friendship will either strengthen or die. It is out of my hands now. So you like Neil Young, huh? Did you go to the bridgeschool benefit last weekend? I went and saw him and JAMES TAYLOR(sigh) and foo fighters and tenacious d and jack johnson and ryan adams and THOM YORKE(yet another sigh) If you missed it, you should go next year. Neil has the best concerts ever.

from pygmilocks :

my friends/boyfriend don't know about this one so it'll be different in that i can say what i want without feeling i have to censor myself, which is partially why i got rid of the old one. it was just me rambling crap about my day.

from pygmilocks :

i've started my new diary. it's pretty much finished, just a bit more rearranging left to do. come by and tell me what you think. thanks, the artist formerly known as pub-grrrl.

from of-her-soul :

It'd have to be quick or in an incredibly tall building (the Sears Tower would be awesome, if only I lived there). We looked for uni-sex bathrooms all over the place, but we finally went into the Men's.

from of-her-soul :

HAHA, that's great. I'm looking forward to the hot tub at his apartment complex at night; or even the sauna. An elevator --that would be something.

from of-her-soul :

Never done anything on a school campus before, aside from a BJ.

from swimmmer72 :

i understand the thrill. there is a long list which includes several rest rooms and even a football locker room at a high school where my ex and i "visited". yes, worth the repercussions. :)

from of-her-soul :

We locked the door behind us, and left at separate times though.

from of-her-soul :

Men, with my boyfriend, hehe.

from of-her-soul :

Esp. one's using public bathroom facilities, with locked doors. I am so bad.

from of-her-soul :

I already have! *Grin.*

from redhorse :

yup.

from deathcake :

altho 'animal lovers' are often GREAT folks, that's not the link i had in mind ;)

from cuntgirl :

a web page by the name of unamercian.com sells a bumper sticker that he explains "I don't really know anything about astrology, but friends make sure I know this; the sticker reads: NEVER FUCK WITH A SCORPIO. I was born on the last day of the scorpio cusp, when people hit the fuck with me button, I understand what a scorpio dragon has a habit of warning us about (that her stinger is coming out) sometime merely by raising her and obove her head and making "tick tick tick tick" noises

from of-her-soul :

I loved the Nicole poem. I am a huge fan of Robert Frost, and although it isn't like his work, it was lovely just the same.

from of-her-soul :

Aw, thanks so much. It's a bit overly rhymey, but thank-you just the same.

from cuntgirl :

every "You've got a new note at Diaryland" is like a mini-christmas, and you tend to be especially kind in that regard (and always uplifting) thank you too.

from of-her-soul :

No, but I wish I had!

from of-her-soul :

Either that or God is a Dolphin's fan. *Wink, wink.*

from of-her-soul :

God IS a woman. (Satan is a man. Why else would women be cursed by PMS and labor pains?) I highly doubt some animosity-filled female posse is going to storm your notes with enraged comments though. But I wouldn't want to deprive you of that experience, sooo... Eat dirt, you chauvinist pig! Just kidding.

from of-her-soul :

Everclear says it best: "Promises mean everything when you're little, and the world's so big." I'm not so little anymore, and promises still mean everything.

from of-her-soul :

Entirely random, but I couldn't help but notice your username. I took swimming lessons for twelve years, and continued swimming three years after that. I began swimming when I was literally months old. Some say I might as well be a mermaid, but alas due to chronic ankle failure from one suicidal attempt gone wrong, I cannot swim as much as I used to. Inner-demons suck.

from of-her-soul :

You give a strong point. But this remains quid pro quo, so I'm hoping you're not looking back on your infamous past. Sometimes I find it easier to look back than to look ahead. 'Tis easiser to dwell instead. Hopefully that habit will gradually subside.

from of-her-soul :

Thank-you, I think? Isn't 20/400 vision practically blind?

from of-her-soul :

I shall return to my diary, and write. Hopefully things will be in interest of the better and I will not vanish again.

from cuntgirl :

I'm just being a moody melodramatic bitch, and kicking myself for every tragic love story I've ever enjoyed. It should all pass, but it sucks when I am here.

from cuntgirl :

romantic? the cabaret pic? or the underwater lovers one (if it even appeared at all)? (both seem pretty tragic to me)or wanting someone here for them? or none of the above? been thinking about it for a couple days now, and I just can't figure it out.

from jenne1017 :

I designed it myself using frontpage and photoshop :o) Thanks for the compliment

from of-her-soul :

Thanks for adding me, even though I'm a total nutcase.

from prncsaimee :

Great project you have going here! The pictures and "travel guide" are great! I'll be back to read more soon!

from redhorse :

way to hang in there( grin) re icecream favs!

from ncss :

you are so right. I took a drive this afternoon and just accepted the fact that I've found a really amazing guy and that I totally deserve him. I can't stop smiling and I get butterflies everytime I think about him. Thanks for your note. You always have a wise word for me and I appreciate it :)

from coquet :

swimimimimer dude, go look at the most recent guest book hi-jinks jimmy and I have been up to.. go ahead. it's funny. http://jimpower.diaryland.com

from panjandrum :

Um thanks for the 'compliment'. Later

from deathcake :

jeff is the truth, not fiction. ~~ AND ~~ re: heels. Um, that's the funny part, I really don't know why.

from redhorse :

yeah, i needed a few days off. thanks for the respect/understanding, i like it when people dont clarify what i mean with me before the decide for me what i am saying... sarcasim...

from cuntgirl :

In a sea of miscommunication, it is nice to hear someone shout back "Hey! I hear you" Thank you, made me breath unfurl the fist in my belly, gonna scamper off and wash away the tears of this day, maybe start again.

from cuntgirl :

well, I am glad someone understands the point I was trying to make, cause I sure as hell don't. I feel like I've just thrown a hissy fit. Let my emotions blindfold my logic, and set them running like a pack of wild screaming banshees.

from cuntgirl :

I feel all the more childish with someone reading this ridiculousness. I was upset about what I percieved to be an attack on a friend and myself. I think it was a terrible thing that happened, but I do not think our government is in any way innocent here. I am in between 2 extreme opinions, trying to find a middle ground I am not uncomfortable to stand on. I am sorry you wasted part of your day to this mess too.....

from melissa1983 :

Hey! Just passing through to say hello. I'm not in the greatest mood today, and it's all because of Jim. I'm so depressed. Oh, your diary is great as always :)

from scorpio79 :

Hey what's up? I read your entry today about confusing females, I have to say that the males in my life are doing the same damn thing. The problem: I overanalyze everything. They seem to be tormenting me!!! Write back soon. Amy

from redhorse :

cheerup steve - o!

from recentmoon :

hmmmm... messing with heads = good clean fun. :) ~rm

from recentmoon :

actually, no i have never thought about it that way. d-land is the only way of making myself heard. i have always been a wordwhore (writer) so... yeah. sure, you made me think, if that's what you wanted me to do. :) glad all is well with you. and see, i DO read you. ;) ~rm

from recentmoon :

so yeah, hope everything's ok. really really interested to know who/what illicted that response in you!!! yes, i'm nosy as hell, but not without concern. hope all is well. ~rm

from scorpio79 :

Good luck in Buffalo, talk to ya soon!!!

from recentmoon :

hello! i must have used the world's suckiest kayak, because it just wasn't FUN. it LOOKS fun. i'd like to learn how to not go in circles in those things!!! anyway. just thought i would let you know that i love to kayak, even if my first time ever was last week and the kayak sucked ass. :) later. ~rm

from meg21 :

:) you're sweet

from recentmoon :

hi:) thanks for the note. haven't been around much lately, but will read you again soon. i love hearing about your life and about the things that you think. i don't want to jinx anything, but everything just seems to be falling into place in my life. glad you noticed!! take care and thanks again for seeing me!!!!!!! :) ~rm

from nudeplatypus :

Well, you know, nude weasels are kind of hard to come by.

from meg21 :

i am blown away that someone loves what i write. so thank you for your comments, and to answer your question, i think i would say "long steve." ~meg

from redhorse :

i can already tell you that the long of it is more enjoyable anyday!

from meg21 :

having "two sides" can work to your advantage, although i understand feeling misunderstood through your writing...which is one reason why you may incorporate so many wonderful pictures into your entries. pictures and symbols can express what you feel but cannot necessarily express in words. could that be part of it?

from scorpio79 :

Well Steve, my dilemas with men are neverending. For some reason I set myself up in these relationships that can never be anything. They either live too far away, they are players, or they just don't really care for me that way. I have no clue what is wrong with me. People think that I am playing these many men that I date, when the real case is that I just want a normal relationship. Not because I am needy, I just want to have a companion. Oh Well. Talk to ya later. If you want to you can send me an email about this Nicole character. My email is [email protected] Bye

from lyssbobiss :

Yes! He will smite us, like Sodom and Gomorrah.

from lyssbobiss :

Thank you, thank you (bowing graciously)...I can't go to church any other days for fear that I will be struck by lightning, you know. Also, thanks for the kind words and advice earlier. I definitely appreciate hearing another point of view regarding my little dilemma. You rock.

from redhorse :

i wonder what it means when you have a dream that your personal hero tells you it the year of the lion?(its the year of the horse, and i am a taurus)

from precognitive :

finally, someone comments on the new look. i'm glad you like it. i was hoping i would get some kind of feedback. i'm not completely used to it yet, but it's growing on me

from redhorse :

thanks for the imput

from redhorse :

i would but then id have to kill you!heeheehee... Reason:no one wants to give back what i put out, i dont know if its cause my gifts are crappy or if it makes no difference, but i figure its about time i started giving myself these gift no one will give me. i am sure you understand very well what i mean.

from meg21 :

so i took some of your quizzes today...it appears that we have quite a bit in common with our personalities. not only are we both the "tenderheart bears" and the "scottish folds" and the "sugar gliders," we even share the same kissing style. imagine that. the only difference is you're a mozart, and i'm a chopin. well, we must share the same brain waves! have a great evening! -meg

from redhorse :

(sinister villin laughter)********* thank you for making me a favorite! (sinister villin laughter)********* you are now 1 step closer to the dark side (sinister villin laughter)*********

from lyssbobiss :

Thank you so much for the kind words! Also, I appreciate the input regarding the beautiful/pretty debate. I'm definitely hooked on your diary.

from redhorse :

acctualy i am good, every one i know? another story... thanks, you are sweet!

from meg21 :

you give good advice-- i see why you chose counseling. you are excellent at understanding people, i'd say. wish my parents could be a little more like you... looks like your "relatives" could use some company this weekend ;)

from drhead :

ah.

from drhead :

there can be only one, dude.

from pub-grrrl :

sorry, without the beer gut and leather vest it doesn't work for me. thanks.

from recentmoon :

i don't want to be searching my whole life... i don't want to wake up an old lady still trying to figure out what it is that i'm searching for. i am aware that i hurt myself. i am aware that i make life harder than it needs to be. i need to feel alive, and without these things, with the pain, i'm afraid i would just be dead. would be like everyone else. and i can't be a mannequin. do i make any sense?? sometimes i wonder if i'm actually 22 almost 23, or if i'm five. or if i'm 22 almost 23, or if i'm eighty. i hate being late at being a teenager.

from recentmoon :

from itsbeenreal :

hey, it's sexisfun. the new diary is itsbeenreal. thanks.

from recentmoon :

my need for someone to see me is the one thing that fuels my writing. and the fact that you read it only minutes after i wrote it means that i was seen. means that what i write may mean something. means that my tears are not meaningless, at least not to someone else. i'm sad today. thanks you for reading.... ~recent

from recentmoon :

HI :) I have 2 sis/bros too. :) I'm the youngest though. Oh, in all honesty, I have more than that... but that's a whole other story we won't get into (I'm adopted). But yeah, I like that you update a lot. I am still addicted to D-Land. Even after 200 entries! It's my safe haven. It's where I become. It's where I'm allowed to be. It's where I meet cool people like you! :) Anyway. Have a good night. ~rm

from recentmoon :

i can't believe you're actually reading all that old stuff!! wow, i feel priviledged. :) actually, i was going to try and be sneaky about it, but forget that. how old are you? i mean, the way you talk sometimes, it's like you're a hundred years old (which i know you're not). I could guess, but I might be wrong. And then I think, maybe the "72" in "swimmmer72" is significant in this mystery. Anyway. That's all I wondered. Oh, and family. Like, sisters and brothers? Parents? Etc. Just the little details, I guess. Trying to make you into a person. :) Bye again. ~rm

from recentmoon :

Hi! It's just me again. As you can probably tell, I've been in the process of reading your diary. Is there an "all about you" entry I should know about? I'd like to know more. Anyway, I'm almost finished reading the entire thing... so feel special, dammit!!! Thanks for 'noting' me. :) I feel like you're the only one who actually still reads me. Bye! Have a great day. ~rm

from recentmoon :

from coquet :

the feeling is similar to brewing coffee with the grounds basket plugged into the socket and the rubber-coated cord coiled inside, bathed in steaming water

from precognitive :

virgin megastore robs me blind every time i set foot in there.

from recentmoon :

thanks for finding me and reading. :) I have added you to my faves, just 'cause I found myself wanting to read more than the entry page. Take care. ~rm

from meg21 :

i just have a sec here, but i wanted to say that it was so sweet of you to read ALL of my entries. wow. that must have taken awhile, and you must think i am really fucked up now! i've gone through a very confusing semester, to say the least. looking forward to reading more of your entries. meg :)

from panzer-kitty :

Thanks for filling out my survey, and don�t worry, your answers sounded well thought out. Genghis Khan would be fascinating to talk to and I agree with the Jessica Alba choice. Wow she�s hot! You�ll be the first person I notify if/when naughty pics get posted.. promise.. ;)

from sexfiendgirl :

Steve-o! take my sex survey! ;)

from cuntgirl :

so sorry, working on a reply, but I haven't been home to finish it. redhorse arrives sat, in the process of buying car/job interviewings. so much craziness! I love it.

from sexfiendgirl :

hi! thanks for the note. It's interesting to know that other people think that they're relationships are good too. I do know that other people probably have good, if not better, relationships than I have. I'm just really happy right now so I feel so lucky to have my boyfriend.

from redhorse :

.... why am i always the monkey? (curious george) :)

from meg21 :

hi- your latest entry captures what i have been feeling but could never quite put into words. complete strangers are opening themselves to the world via a computer screen, and i too am amazed. it's something i never imagined myself taking part in, and yet, here i am. i'm hooked. i just want to say that i really love what you have written in your diary and reading about your flashes of brilliance. and you're a scorpio! that makes you all the more intriguing...

from redhorse :

ummmmmmm you could read me, if you wanted.... i like that you are good to my good friend.

from meg21 :

oh no, i misread your entry about being on vacation. well, you should take one anyhow. working with juvenile delinquents must get challenging at times. p.s. good banana story

from meg21 :

hey, thanks for the messages. yes, thank god i did not turn out like my parents!! enjoy your vacation in the west. looks so peaceful there.

from pub-grrrl :

isn't that the idea to keep them wanting more so they just can't get enough. you're a doll.

from dazy81 :

Thanks for joining the sleepnaked diaryring :)

from pub-grrrl :

thanks. you should check out super-bruce, also a neil young fan. he's good. also he chose me.

from cuntgirl :

i keep meaning to sit down and write you a proper note, but in the meantime, thank you. In a process of learning to be brave AND honest when botht those things are unfamiliar, any words of encouragement are much appreciated. if only I had more time, there is so much that needs to be let out of my head, but I can't imagine the time it would all take.

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