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Dude, I went all recidivist an' shit, put back on the pounds this past summer, after I was working without sleep on this screenplay I was trying to enter in the Disney Fellowships. I know how you feel right now . . . ugh, and these damn holidays, too. Thankfully, my family knows enough to stay away with their gifts of food by now. Take care, pal. Keep doing it.

from gallinula :

Burroughs has been so far from my mind lately, dude, that I can't begin to tell you where it starts to help once you've done such a thing; swiped elegant wastefulhood with escapism that's more apparent, more linear, at least. With Burroughs, I knew where to stand but I wasn't taking notes. With the people I read now, I kinda get the idea that one, too, can make a living writing while laying it over in tones smooth enough for the layperson to be scared shitless, perhaps even contrite. Wasn't it DeLillo who pointed out how subsersive the true nature ot Literature is? Shit, that dude can write, scare the fuck out of you and still make you laugh . . . Hey, I hope your health is getting more on par with what you wish it would be, bro. We get old, but that just reminds us to try and eat a little better. I hope you're doing at least that. It could always be feeling much worse. Take care, man . . .

from gallinula :

I feel ya right now . . . except the cat hair I know is stray.

from gallinula :

Happy 2006, bro. . .

from gallinula :

Well man, as someone who's gone through what sounds a lot like the same damn thing, I hope you get to cross paths with this new bird again soon and that she actually turns out to be cool. All my best wishes. . .

from melgah :

from gallinula :

I hope your Shadow is looking much healthier, nourished these days.

from tristisest :

sankya... how's the book/life/job/etc?

from gallinula :

Here's wishing you a great new year ahead, pal . . . take care, be well.

from gallinula :

yeah, girls-like-Enid syndrome. . . that shit happened to me again just yesterday in the form of an MSN-sponsored electronic message. I need to learn to stop delving into their world(s). When am I going to start looking for the professional women, who don't invariably live vicariously through Spin photo spreads or chipped enamel?

from gallinula :

You're not supposed to feel guilt at all, pal. You're supposed to stay strong, shoulders back, head up. You've earned the right to be proud after what you've gone through. And dude, I'm sorry that like me you feel you have to get rid of cd's that hurt to have in your possession. But man oh man I know I could never be rid of "Seasick, Yet Still Docked" after all this time . . . I hope you are feeling well, that whatever sent you to the ER is nothing but a passing glance from the Immortals.

from alkalinetrio :

delete previous message.

from alkalinetrio :

name: bird. password: doghouse

from booth-bitch :

Howdy love. Just a note to everyone on my buddy list: I had t lock up. The username and password are both "jumper". *Muah*

from gallinula :

it was good hearing from you, by the way. take care, friend.

from gallinula :

So what do you think about this new Cure? It actually makes me feel moderately dizzy, which isn't bad when you're like me, at the stage when music doesn't usually feel as important and infused with exigencies like it did when you were a kid falling into the first deep infatuation with one of those raven-haired, cateye glasses-wearing girls.

from booth-bitch :

*Muah* :)

from gallinula :

"It's that same knowledge that tempers my willingness to venture too far out of my shell." -- That's the best sentence I've felt in a long while, old friend. You shot me, you caught me coming out of the den of a hundred fair-skinned, raven-haired girls who wear cat eye glasses.

from gallinula :

from sk8er-cowgrl :

Howdy love. Guess who's back? You can stalk me here: http://booth-bitch.diaryland.com. Be sure to leave your mark in the Bitch Box. Merci beaucoup. *Muah* :)

from sk8er-cowgrl :

Howdy love. This is just a note to everyone on my buddy list to let you know that my diary is now unlocked. Enjoy the archives. I hope all is well. If you need me, you know how to reach me. ([email protected]) *Muah* :)

from sk8er-cowgrl :

Howdy love. Just saying farewell to everyone on my buddy list. I won't be updating. Ever. Its been fun. I will continue to read your diary, though. Keep writing. If you ever need me, don't hesitate to email me: [email protected], okies? *Muah* :)

from gallinula :

That doesn't sound like superficiality to me, pal -- I know where you're coming from, because I often think the same thing whenever I see a girl like that around. But I'm good people, you're good people; so why don't we just run the risk anyway and see what she says? Yeah, it's the workplace, but you know, maybe she's of the ilk that'd much rather find somebody through the hallowed office halls than at cumbersome bars and clubs. Just ask her her name next time, dude. I promise it ain't gonna hurt like another night with the exes (i.e., if it ever came to that).

from alkalinetrio :

and if it takes shit to make bliss then i feel... pretty blissfully

from gallinula :

How's your weekend been, old friend? How are your spirits during work? I used to have the kind of day that could probably make anybody drink a sixpack alone and not think twice as to how they lived, wouldn't know how to. But then things in our world -- things you've been addressing -- got less than plaintive, and turned civilization into a surreptitious word. If you listen closely to the video footage, to whom or what the soldiers are yelling at, that will teach you all there is to know. If you don't hear a man in the desert with a gun and the sun, if you don't let your heart hear it for itself, that's a great danger we're talking about. I don't like the times we are in, but what else is cynicism there for? I'm glad that I still have it in me to be grateful for so many things. Take care, be well.

from sk8er-cowgrl :

Wow, I was thinking the exact same thing. It's quite sad, actually. ::sigh:: I'm glad you enjoyed it, though. :)

from sk8er-cowgrl :

Howdy love. The email was too confusing. Or, maybe I'm just *slow*. It's probably the latter of the two. But, anyhoo, check out my xanga. I posted what I was going to send you on there. http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=habibirawker

from sk8er-cowgrl :

Howdy. I have something that might interst you on Sheikh Yassin. Leave me anote with your email address, and I'll send it to you. *Muah* :)

from raen :

To members of the diaryrings Blood Omen 2 & Soul Reaver: I have decided to make one all-encompassing "Legacy of Kain" diaryring. The new ring looks much better than the two older ones in my opinion. I will be deleting the BO2 & SR rings soon. I hope you join the Legacy of Kain diaryring. You can see what it looks like here --> http://raen.diaryland.com/lokring.html

from sk8er-cowgrl :

Wow, I loved your last entry. Reading your diary is really comforting. It lets me knwo I'm not alone out there. ::sigh:: Keep writing.

from ashesraven :

do you know i have become completely dependant on you for my political information

from lady-is-j :

(smiles warmly... for the first time in two weeks)

from gallinula :

That was certainly the last Thursday I'll ever have to myself. I enjoyed it while I had time to.

from gallinula :

Hang in there, bro; the year's almost done, we'll be through with so much bullshit in that one twilight hour. Hope you had friends and family around for Thanksgiving today. Take care, be well.

from sk8er-cowgrl :

American Armed Forces...r u serious? Hmm...something's wrong with this picture...lol

from makavelli :

I read about the Regan tv show. Would have been interesting viewing and I agree about the Iran Contra. Wonder who would have played Maggie Thatcher?...

from alkalinetrio :

Thank you, birdy, you are a good man. its funny... i didnt want to put a counter becuase i didnt want to know. now that i have, and my average ratings have gone down...well, thats like... the reason i didnt want to. its funny. curiosity killed the cat, you know

from daxle :

seeing each other has never been too much of an option, as i recall, with neither of us having enough money to fly around all the time.

from gallinula :

I know of somebody who actually did that unintentionally last weekend. His head fell on inside the carriage, while the woman was stuck in there with him for a good 20 or so minutes. And then here I go yesterday reading how you're supposed to stay conscious for 8 seconds after your head's decapped.

from gallinula :

Well, for one thing, I almost paid seven or eight dollars more for a copy of "Show" yesterday. I wanted more than anything to listen to it for the reversible value it has on my post-dropout-collegiate (y)ears, how I first borrowed it from somebody from California a few doors down in the dorm trying to escape the same heartbreak I was and learned something along the way. I am there in the mountains of Montana trying to figure out how many meals I have left on my student i.d. whenever I listen to this thing. I bite a convincing message to myself a thousand or so failed miles away from that white environment, letting it rise to a boil that yells even louder when I wonder if a single dream comes true.

from gallinula :

At least you have a new discernible friend, friend. My only advice is, don't let her hang on the screen long enough before you get back inside and play with her. Sounds like your summer just back underway. Bro, pick up some Tindersticks along the way. Peace.

from lullabycure :

awww... now i feel silly.

from lullabycure :

is everything a-ok? if not, don't resort to the extension cord/radio solution, i'll miss you too much... instead, take sedatives and numb yourself into an ignorant bliss.

from gallinula :

Was it their noise and/or their insipid girlfriends that bothered you?

from heyyouyesyou :

Wonderful! A cure fan... everything i've ever believed (It Used to be Me). ~heYYouYesYou

from raen :

Hi, I'm the creator of the Blood Omen 2 diaryring and I'm on a mission to get everyone I can to vote for Legacy of Kain: Defiance in psmonline.com's 'most wanted game' survey! Please please go to http://psmonline.com and find the poll on the right-hand side just a little ways down and vote for Legacy of Kain: Defiance!! Tell your friends! We're currently behind by only 4 votes!! We have to win! Kain rules!

from alkalinetrio :

OOO!!! i caught your alkaline trio reference. I am quite fond of that new cd

from alkalinetrio :

hmm!!! indeed! i will keep your words in mind, thank you old friend :)

from alkalinetrio :

awesome! i could only expect as much. Hey, did i mention in my diary that i wanted that cure dvd?? because lately ive just been writing and forgetting what i say, and if i didnt mention, what a psychic connection we must have, because i was looking at that online and then at best buy and wanted it oh so very badly.

from gallinula :

What is that infamous quote from the "Divine Comedy"? Sorry, I'm not that schooled, though lately, I can say that I tried. I had to pay 12 dollars, recently, for a library card. I actually read a non-fiction title on that of the films of Kevin Smith -- guilty without cause for remorse, or the other way around; I can't figure out which. When coworkers ask you how you've been, do you ever lull yourself into the standard response of "Oh, same ol' shit"? This has been the Plague for me. Which is why I forget to write, which is why I try not to fall along the same old frozen industry patterns of catch and release. How long before you sell off this old house? Take care.

from gallinula :

do what you have to do, bro. . . take'er easy, sit down and look at the kind of books we used to leave out for the stoners when they came over, like "Far Side" or "Calvin & Hobbes". Something pleasant for the residual strain of recent dreams. Take care, be well!!

from alkalinetrio :

hazzah!!! yes

from daxle :

you have created your own reality. i won't be blamed for your perceptions.

from lucidmemory :

from gallinula :

I'm really sorry to hear. . . thoughts are with you, friend.

from lullabycure :

in my time of need...your diary has made me smile... thanks.

from gallinula :

ever since my return to this house, the thing itself has plagued me because my grandfather never spoke to English, and I never learned Spanish, so I wasn't able to pick up from him the great capacity of knowledge he stored in himself, I never learned how to go underneath the floorboards with a two-ton jack and lift the walls back into place. now, for months I've been wanting to get on the right track and write what I know, but the feeling is lost on me. this present entry of yours takes me back to where I should be, if I'm ever to write my way out of here. take care, hope you're doing better.

from gallinula :

I hope not for long. . . take care, pal. Whatever you're up to, be well.

from gallinula :

Yes, and all those feelings about scrapes aside, it's just highly respectable that you took yourself out of your grocery list to come to action on behalf of your nephew. I can't remember there ever being a time when I was younger, watching someone go up to bat for me.

from gallinula :

that was ultra-rad how you approached that jerk in the Safeway. And perfectly resounding how you sent him into speechlessness, cracking your neckbones to get ready for a potential throwdown. badass, dude. . .

from gallinula :

oh, but I -- for one -- think you can do it. this is the shit that builds monoliths out of men. you're not some dumbass.

from gallinula :

Now that the strategic deviltry has given way to the week's bookend, how do you plan on celebrating? And you swear you never had an iguana? Hmm. I used to think that these buggers I knew kept them around because they thought they were excellent narc-sniffers. Hey, if you knew the people I know, you'd wouldn't put it past them, either.

from gallinula :

chit, sorry this month's got so many rough-hewn, serated starts to it. whatever you do to stay strong: do it. keep it. kick it. take care, man.

from daxle :

february will be okay. just stay away from krack kats.

from gallinula :

Just score some smoke, pal. Wouldn't that be easier? If you do, ask the connection why is it all connections must have an iguana. Is it universal or just me?

from lucidmemory :

spictaculer? that made me laugh so hard!@

from gallinula :

Six weeks, huh? Four weeks myself. I'm going to stay low.

from angryquail :

Don't think you ever knew. Thanks for the listing.

from angryquail :

I guess I don't count as a blatherskite. :-D

from gallinula :

Cravings for cloves? C'mon, I don't buy that one bit. I've got my own cravings, but they never leaned in that direction. Would you really have any qualms against listening to Massive on a few rings of T-H-C?

from gallinula :

where do you think this sudden bout of elevated 'weird' in your skin comes from? Congrats on the end of the big task! wish I had mine own, other than ritual depletion of faith in my duty.

from gallinula :

SHITE. . . sorry about that, *curses self*

from gallinula :

And neither have I. Well, truthfully, it hasn't been a very VERY long time, but feels just the same. I did see your photo long ago, though, and you remind me of someone I know/knew. He came to see me late Sunday afternoon. Thing is, NOBODY comes to see me because they know I don't have smoke. It almost made me sorry that I ever knew people like that -- but this guy over here, he's a bit different, I guess. I keep saying to myself as I read your entries that it would've been cool if you were him. Then I'd break solitude and have friends again.

from gallinula :

lose not faith -- nor your beard!

from alkalinetrio :

awwww, you heart me?? But i heart you!!! yay!!! why do you heart me now? after recent diaryland entry? oi? :)

from daxle :

you are my anything and more

from thatdamnbird :

i know what you mean about similarities and how they can frustrate a creative impulse...the novel i've been writing once sat in a box for ten years because after i let someone else read it they said it sounded like i was cribbing heavily from Bret Easton Ellis even though up until a couple of days after that criticism, i had neither read the book or seen the film version of "Less than Zero." And even now, i fear the possibility of the story being declared little more than an homage, even when there are more than a few grains of truth sprinkled into my particular concoction

from gallinula :

thanks for the recommendation, I appreciate it. I've always meant to get that book in my palate; once, I'd even bought it as a gift for a friend who didn't read anything if "Details" or "Rolling Stone" wasn't in lettering on the cover. Fucker said he read the first page and got bored! I will, however, get through the whole thing, bro. Curiousity's piqued as hell now -- now I'm on a mission to know whether or not the screenplay I have in mind won't be some knockoff of Gabriel Garcia M.'s story. Ugh, pray it won't. I really need to get something done. . .

from gallinula :

I just got "Trees Lounge" on DVD. No Hayden video extra, like on the VHS version. What shit is that? Plus, the transfer was really slipshod. I'm hopefully getting the replacement soon. Hope you're weekend's coming along well. take care. . .

from gallinula :

Jose Luis from across the caliche used to do that. but he was busted for coke two years back, so I think he's on a low profile contingency. so he and his parents next door just leave their xmas lights on year-round, instead.

from gallinula :

almost a mirrored weekend there, pal. i played Red Faction 2. came so close to "flipping it", but Hollywood Video, I'm sure you know, require their detritus back a bit earlier than that other place. wishing you well this New Year's Eve. I'm staying in, watching Adult Swim marathon. very very content. take care, be well.

from gallinula :

nice nice. . . I'm glad that you also had a worthy few hours of distraction this holiday season. And your brother, I think it was more being used to navigating the salty roads of CC than the kids' lateness-bearing revelry that got him so bullshitty in the middle of the drive. Yeah, over here we're like that. Hell, we're madmen and sugarplum assholes, you'll just have to bear with it, pal. Next time you're in Corpus and happen to be in the first vehicle at a red, and in the half-second it changes to green, notice how the cars behind start honking for you to hurry the fuck up even when the lumens haven't cleared out of the red bulb in the transition. That's us alright. Murder on wheels.

from gallinula :

sorry about the racket in the neighborhood; I used to play the drums, but I made sure, at least, not to be a jerk about it in front of everybody I lived next door to.

from gallinula :

man, Johnny Cash and "Personal Jesus" -- don't miss it this holiday season

from sk8er-cowgrl :

Your survey was awesome! :)

from thatdamnbird :

Actually, they moved back here awhile back. but i've got a ton of family out there from both of my parents' sides of the family plus a few in Houston, a few in Austin and i think a few in San Antonio

from gallinula :

your bro and his wife, do they still live in Corpus?

from gallinula :

there's that same mercurial atmosphere where I work, like on Saturday nights wondering who left this pot on? and coming out of busing tables for little over a year, it pains me to even get my hands wet. how egregious. . .

from thatdamnbird :

sigh. not so much even sympathy as at least a momentary display of concern. you're treating me like i was asking for the moon when all i really wanted in all of this was just a simple "are you ok?" and how do you know i would take a mile when you've never even given that inch in the first place?

from daxle :

If I gave an inch you'd take a mile. Sympathy. There you go. To explain my point would only get more angry words from you. (sounds familiar, eh?) ((so maybe you're not a helpless victim set upon by the horrors of me)) I don't know if there is any chance of understanding between us anymore.

from daxle :

do you think I could save you? could you ever save yourself? last night i realized that it's not the words you place upon me not their saccharine sweetness it's the weight they carry I can't carry this

from alkalinetrio :

hello, i will try to get to it this very day

from gallinula :

hope you had a great weekend. . .

from daxle :

turbulent please keep seat belts on

from gallinula :

hey, bro. . thanks for the note you left me few days ago. I was glued to the polls, sort of. Then I woke up this morning, pissed as shit at fucking Nevada. Oh well, we can't eat cake, I guess. Take care, be well.

from gallinula :

rain is on the way. . . and, dude, get thee to a tea ceremony!

from alkalinetrio :

loooove love will tear us apart....again

from alkalinetrio :

hazzah! i got the BUt Im a Cheerleader/Flogging MOlly package. say the word and i'll send the alkaline trio tape.

from gallinula :

"i refuse to participate in all of the post 9/11 navel-gazing..." I'm with you on this.

from gallinula :

just wanted to wish you a great weekend. . . take care, bro

from alkalinetrio :

hooray! and i have your tape ready to send to you, as soon as i get your address! i would muchly enjoy a copy of flogging molly! hooray for birds! i know you will enjoy the tape, i made sure to put my most favorite and personal burning songs it. there's even a little matt skiba solo work on it. do you need my address?

from daxle :

you're so cryptic about whatever this is in your profile and diary, but my interpretation is that you think that because jesse is from north/south carolina he somehow managed to get telemarketers from that region to call you? if you knew him at all you'd know that's totally coming from left field. he's not vengeful like you and I, and it would be absolutely out of his character. i am lost as far as what you mean by this final revelation or "cementing". there are so many nights (and days) where I'd like to talk to you but I keep my mouth shut knowing as well as you do that things never seem to get anything but worse. just like life, isn't it?

from raen :

Thanks for joining the Blood Omen 2 and Devil May Cry 2 diaryrings!

from gallinula :

You ever played Halo?

from gallinula :

Yeah, that'd be cool. I'd appreciate it. Thank you.

from gallinula :

I think if you're leaving it up to us, regardless whether you're joking or not, it shows just how not into it you are these days. This place is all supposed to be for your benefit. I hope you will keep writing.

from alkalinetrio :

KEEP IT! KEEP IT! KEEP IT! JUST BECAUSE!!!! (loud campaign voice, not questioning actions, voting my heart out)

from daxle :

I think you should do whatever you think is best. But of course your readers would like you to keep writing.

from gallinula :

Well, before you decide -- and I hope you don't -- to stop using this journal, I just wanted to continue to state that I'm glad to see you up and running. I hope next time you catch Damian.

from gallinula :

I want to say now that I am glad more than ever that you are alright. Recover well, recover soon. Your friends here are there with you. Godspeed.

from gallinula :

goodness. well, hey pal, here's hoping that you get to see this grandparent more than just this one time, okay? and have a wonderful time of it, as well.

from gallinula :

your world is intriguing, to say the least. . . take care, be well

from alkalinetrio :

You should send me some joy division so i can know

from missdiamonds :

hi :) (I'm sorry, I wanted it to be more but I only just woke up...next time, I promise)

from missdiamonds :

I'm not really anyone...but do you mind if I leave you a note anyway?...

from thatdamnbird :

as been stein might say: "Anyone? Anyone?"

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