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I am pretty sure I left you that last note years ago, when I was trying to reach out to old friends on here. Yeah I still write here and active on the site. I was gone for a few years but I think I started again around 2015/2016 and come on every day almost though I don't write every day.

from i-am-jack :

I was *just* thinking about you this afternoon. Friends I knew online back in the day came up in a conversation and you were one of them! This is about as uncanny as it gets. I seriously thought this was Diaryland notifying me about old notes again, then I saw they are new.

from i-am-jack :

Hey are you still alive on here or anywhere?

from pridegrl :

i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. come here and write for me, please.

from pridegrl :

lol. i like how you say that with a smile. "We're so the same brand of f*cked up :0) "

from pridegrl :

i have so many questions in return, to the note you left me. (i suppose they're rhetorical?) Do we really, truly want to grow out of it? Do we really truly want to be IN love? Do we even know what the hell it looks like, feels like, smells like ... what is it, this LOVE thing? I'm starting to suspect it's overrated. The tough girl in me will stick with her fairytales, go figure. But there's an elderly woman in her 70s, 80s, 90s, sitting in a rocking chair, staring out a window ... and is there someone sitting next to her? Holding her hand? F**k, that scares the crap out of me. Like, I don't mind playing my whole lifetime through, but I sure as heck don't want to die alone without a true love in my life. And you? Are you in the field here with me? Chasing fairies together? Here, hold my net. C'mere, it's been too long since we've caught a good one ... kiss me. *kiss kiss* Love you. Love you too. ;)

from fivethree :

glad to see you're back :)

from pridegrl :

oh girl. i know it was selfish of me to wish that you were here writing, but i have been truly happy anyway to see that you weren't writing ... because it probably meant, (if i know you at all), that you were in a good space. i know you already know that i can relate. i'm sorry for what you're feeling -- i know it all too well. i miss you. and i love you. still, always. xoxoxox

from fivethree :

"he doesn't talk to me" ... ??

from fivethree :

Thank you for the sweet note!! It made me happy to hear from you :) And yes, you're so right. The transition has been 100x easier than I imagined, and I think a lot of it is because the dynamic of the relationship changed for the better (seeing each other every day and all). Anyway, hope all is well for you! I'd love an update soon... 8 months?! C'mon..!

from readnglst999 :

Where is clarity25? Recent vacation blog - http://twoshotsoftequila.blogspot.com/ "Eric's" Photobucket account - http://s795.photobucket.com/home/sketchbookshark/index

from mspsyched1 :

GIRL...I was just thinking about you the other day. I was thinking about how long its been since I have heard anything about/from you. I am glad that you are doing well. That is wonderful to hear. I, too, dont come here as often as I used to. Facebook has kind of diverted me away as well. I just have SO MANY years written here...that for some reason its hard not to instinctively come back here. I hope you come back and write often...I want to hear how things are going with you. I feel like I've known you so long...even without really knowing you. You just feel like an old friend. So somehow, please keep in touch. (BIG HUGS)

from mspsyched1 :

It is funny how it's been that for a long time. Very parallel. So this guy is probably 450 lbs...easy. He had a wonderful personality and was so nice to me. I havent clicked with someone on this level in a long time. I had him over my house...and well...he cracked my dining room chair in half. I am not sure if he knew he did it or not...but he did. So I havent been too eager to have him back. I know that sounds incredibly shallow of me. But 450 is a hellava lotta big boy there. I cant even wrap my head around how we would ever possibly have sex if it came to that. I kinda dont know where to take it from here...

from tremendo :

So! I'll no longer be writing in tremendo. If you care to follow me look up "fivethree" and leave me a note so I can give you access.

from mspsyched1 :

Ok...I am picking up what youre laying down there. Because that's kind of what he said...that he didnt think that I cared either way so he didnt really care either way also. So I get this...you're absolutely right. NOW he knows that I care...one way or another. LOL So we'll see. =)

from mspsyched1 :

See, that's the beauty of it...I dont need anymore attention from him. I got what I needed. I dont want to be with him...dont want to date him...nothing. So I wish his relationship with his wife good luck. I really do. I am not "other women" material anyway...couldnt do it. =)

from tiedyed714 :

sure you can read it. email me at [email protected] for pw

from pantrypuff :

Ugh, so sorry about the depression. I totally hear you. And I know dealing with The Boy must be so hard under those circumstances...

from mspsyched1 :

I have always said this...I wish you lived closer to me. I've been reading you for so long that I feel like you're someone in my life and only wish you were close enough to drive down the street and see you. I see your number in my cell phone and so often I want to hit the talk button to talk to you. Youre so freak'n awesome. I'm sure I've told you that before. Youre definately one of the strongest people I know. I wish I had that trait. The one thing I know about you after reading you for sooooooo long is no matter how bad it is, you get on the right track again quickly. I've always been amazed by this. Again...wish I had that. Two states away...I'm always cheering you on. (BIG HUGS)

from pantrypuff :

Wow -- I haven't read in a while. I love your engagement picture. You're so beautiful! I'm sorry you have to deal with the remnants of such drama when you deserve so much more.

from raven72d :

Thanks!

from raven72d :

You're vur' welcome. And I will be reading along. Please feel invited to read my own entries.

from raven72d :

You're an almost random discovery. But you're a delight--- an intriguing writer.

from screamagain :

It is for that reason I keep you around my love. =)

from screamagain :

Thanks girly. Love.

from i-am-jack :

Thanks for leaving me a note and letting me know that I am not alone too. It is awfully dead around here since I stopped writing regularly. I can not even tell you how long I have been trying to get back into it.

from pantrypuff :

Merry Xmas for you too :)

from pridegrl :

congrats on the new car ... good for you!! :)

from pantrypuff :

Where are you? Are you OK? Hope everything is well :)

from pantrypuff :

Did you see your therapist? How did it go? I saw mine today and it was so great to vent about the evil mommy

from alifewithin :

Thank you so much. It's so good to hear that I do have people to listen to me. :)

from pantrypuff :

Well I am fine! Thank you for asking. Ever since the preemie project ended, I have been doing so much better. That thing was just so difficult. Everything after that -- workwise, etc -- seems easy. I was so stressed toward the end I would cry and get chest pains. No more, though. Yay!

from pantrypuff :

How are you feeling?

from pantrypuff :

Offing yourself is not an option. Not when you have kids. And that, I feel, is even more frustrating because then you feel even more trapped like there is no escape from this misery ever. Depression is such a miserable cycle. I'm trying to exercise more (like go for walks, not run anywhere!) It seems to be helping

from pantrypuff :

Thanks for the hair compliment. We'll see how it really looks today!!

from pantrypuff :

Thank you so much for your note about the jury. It really made me feel better.

from pantrypuff :

Just read through some of your entries. You really are a beautiful writer.

from pridegrl :

**frick** i don't know who gets around more ... you or me. wtf? we should get together in another lifetime, ha. love ya!

from i-am-jack :

Even if you do delete this, it was still good to read something from you after so long. ;^}'

from chillier :

"Nosey whores"! Ha! Actually it was nice that you were interested - I wanted to blog about it anyway and it felt good knowing that someone was going to read it. I do wonder how the entry would have been different if I had written it three months ago - probably much more psycho ex-girlfriend :)

from chillier :

Thanks for the note! I'm actually surprised and flattered that anyone still has me on their buddy list after my loooooong hiatus. Thanks :)

from i-am-jack :

I try to relate when I can. Misery does not love company as much as knowing it is not alone. That is something I very strongly relate to. You know by now, I have a massive abandonment complex, and those few people I can not just sever and forget about, really haunt me.

from i-am-jack :

Thanks? ;^}'

from i-am-jack :

I'm glad I was able to make you feel better. ;^}'

from i-am-jack :

Wow, I know that feeling all too well. Something about meaningless routine makes you start to feel meaningless yourself.

from bi-pet :

i'm so grateful that you left a note on my profile. i wanted to come back but i forgot your username. now it's all sorted once again...

from bi-pet :

the dates on your entries confuse me but the entries are beautiful

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