messages to vurtinsanity:
(click here to add new message):

from numbthievery :
Hey, glad to see you're alive and still kicking. Still remember me? Sorry I went away. Sometimes we all just need to disappear for awhile.
from i-feel-sic :
hey toots how do u put that lock thing on your diary? well, not lock but the thing where u have to enter a password. I want one because I am a paranoid biatch.
from lockstepgone :
Thanks for adding me. It means a lot. Your diary is awesome.
from i-feel-sic :
dude what the hell happened with nicole??
from hateyerlife :
if you get tired of the piercing you can always take it out. it looks cool though. at least it's not a tat you can't get rid of.
from ebsublime :
Don't say oh well to that, you can kick it. Instead of slowly but surely dying why don't you try to slowly but surely quit so you won't die? Dying is not fun so I've heard so let's have some time to live, after all it's not THAT bad, all of the time. :)
from tool-nin-fan :
I'm sorry your mom makes fun of you for your ed. That's not right, and you shouldn't put up with it. My mom makes fun of me for being a cutter, so I know how it is.
from i-feel-sic :
Dude, I like, worry about you.
from i-feel-sic :
Umm, I coulda sworn things were getting better for you...
from secretrage :
i stumbled upon your diary...and i read your "I feel new" entry. Congratulations...not everyone can have that strength. I hope you can make it through. xx
from hateyerlife :
i was gonna tell you not to hate yourself but i remembered my last entry was titled "i hate myself" so i didn't want to be a hypocrite. i hope you feel better though.
from parlance :
asdsa
from parlance :
=/
from hateyerlife :
i noticed you have a gold membership. is it complicated to put pictures and stuff up? i was thinking about getting one but i'm computer stupid.
from hateyerlife :
hey, i haven't been here in a while so i thought i'd say hi. hope you're doing well. what you said about that guy in the picture with the punks not dead shirt...you don't have to be a badass to be punk. most punks i know are really nice people. but that guy could have a killer mohawk with all that hair! or liberty spikes, so he wouldn't have to cut it. anyways i hope everything is going well for you.
from raven72d :
Great diary... You do make me think of nights in SoCal-- wind in from the sea, the desert out there somewhere to the east...
from gumphood :
Well that's the interesting thing. You always like to feel the vibe of a diary, and I wanted to see what yours was. And I am going to go check it out again.
from sigh-co :
hey, I just found your diary and I seriously like it. You seem nice. And interesting. Anyway, I just wanted to say, "hi" and sorry about your pooch. It's good that she had someone like you to love her.
from ebsublime :
Hey there I'll try to write more often now that I have my computer back...anyways have a kick ass day!
from gumphood :
I am under the impression that you like sex. Or at least need it. Is this ongoing...or just today. I am just curious. Just curiosu.
from crazywicked :
heya. you dont know me, i dont know you. ok, now that weve stated the obvious! haha but anyways, thanks to these links, i got to your diary...i wanna say it was nice but that the right word. i wanna say entertaining, but no ones diary is supposed to be "entertaining." well, it was funny...it was...something i could relate to...but it showed a bit of your personality. i cant help but think theres more youre not telling, but thats none of my business. it would just be nice to hear from another troubled teenage chick. but if youre strong enough to hold it all in, congrats. thats a touch act chica, much luck with whatever you do. kel
from ebsublime :
Hey I am really sorry about both losses and you're very right that no one should have to deal with shit like that.
from i-feel-sic :
Dude, I know I've said this many times before cuz its always been true but, I like, saw you walking by today from afar and you seriously look thin as all hell. This time I was like "HOLY SHIT..." I SERIOUSLY didn't recognize you at first. But then I saw your beautiful face and I was like "Fuck, that IS Lydia." Just, be careful dude. (look whos talking huh? haha) Love You, Bye.
from tool-nin-fan :
I know what it feels like to be lonely too. It's fun sometimes but fucking horrible most of the time. To ache for the touch of someone else...
from moobiejoe :
your username is bagel and the password is schmear. speaking of which, i could go for some right now...
from nofacade :
Hehehe...yeah, you and I both have a little too much time on our hands, but quizzes are addicting!
from skeletonboy :
*poke* .......
from i-feel-sic :
I'm glad you like your gift. Who's the hook-up?
from i-feel-sic :
Hahahaha, yeah the gumbox is cute ain't it? I got you something kinda better while I was at this store tho...
from hateyerlife :
your procrastinator entry is funny. i'm also a professional crastinator. we live in a procrasti-nation.
from karika :
hey, u dont no me but i just found ur diary and i thought id leave u a note sayin hi...so hi...feel free to look at my diary since i looked at urs...hope u write, peace
from hateyerlife :
hey, thanks for listing me on your favorites. sounds like you're going through a shitty fucked-up time in your life. don't let what the stupid majority of people consider to be perfect affect you. it's not natural to be bone skinny like those fake ugly girls in gap ads. that's not pretty, it's just an unattainable goal set by people who want to keep everyone feeling bad about themselves so they will buy their stuff. i can tell by reading your writings that you are a beautiful person. don't try to look like those phony girls. you are real. they are not. and they aren't happy either no matter how good of a front they try to put up. so cheer up. take care of yourself. things will get better.
from skeletonboy :
It's been a long time since i'v left a note. So here. It is left. You better like it and treat it nice. =-)
from darkoverlord :
Hi, there. You should check out our AWEsome adventures. :-D
from ebsublime :
Hey! I didn't die...I just have been, well tied up lately. Not with anything important, but just tied up I will update more often! :) Thanks for caring.
from numbthievery :
Sshhhh...that's classified information young lady. I'm sorry, but now I have to kill you.
from numbthievery :
yeah, I guess I do come off as a womanizing racist.
from numbthievery :
Well that didn't work.....It was JFK by the way.
from numbthievery :
I'm this guy for some reason <div align="center"><img src="http://sminds.com/fl.gif"><br><img src="http://similarminds.com/images/leader/7.jpg"><br><a href="http://similarminds.com/othertests.html">What Famous Leader Are You?</a></div>
from numbthievery :
Hey there you. Sorry I�ve been off in lala land. Things to do and such. I see one of my busy body friends have paid you visit. You must excuse her, she does enjoy poking about in things which do not concern her. I really should stop watching old movies; they give me such odd speech impediments. I'm sorry you feel so out of control. Sometimes it's hard to understand the things we do to ourselves when we are so sad. You're family discusses you're weight because, though they have a funny way of showing it, they do care about you. They're worried, but they too feel helpless. What can they do? Then of course you must get angry at them, they should know what to do, they should help, should save. That is what a family is for. But a family is composed of individuals, individuals who are but human. And the one thing I have truly learned in my short expanse of time is that we all are but humans. We don't hold the answers or the key. We stumble along blindly experiencing pain, hope, and yes even sometimes joy. And we cling to that, that which makes us human. You aren't crazy, or a freak, not even totally fucked up, you're just a little girl trying to figure out how the hell to grow up. Just don't try to do it on you're own. No one should ever feel that they're alone when they truly aren't.
from songofsorrow :
Sorry for butting in, Rickey talks about you so I thought I'd check you out. That sounds creepy.
from songofsorrow :
I think when it comes to disorders you really lose control over what you're doing. like drinking or smoking, you tell yourself that you can quit anytime you want, or it's not really a problem, but really you have no handle on the situation. you obviously realize that you have a problem, but you don't seem interested in doing anything about it. you're kind of still in denial. you're just turning to words for solace and even those are starting to abandon you. there are tons of groups and people who would be glad to help- warning: of course there are others who will just hold you down. you need to be the one with the courage to go find the good people; you might get kicked by the not so friendly, but that�s life. you have to come across a good person at some point.
from ebsublime :
First of all I apologize for not writing you a note in so long. Secondly, you need to help yourself there are no excuses for that, but yet again I cannot be a hypocrite. I am anorexic, or at least I used to be and it kind of always stays with you and never really goes away unless you get help. So motivate yourself with whatever it takes, and get over your illness.
from numbthievery :
can we say sixteen candles anyone?
from destroyable :
I know.. it's the same book, only been rereleased for the film. Oh oh, James St James is GOD x
from numbthievery :
what makes a family normal? Those people were lying if they said their home was normal. Anyway- happy happy birthday!!! I'm sorry it's late. I've been gone for awhilw. Slightly more pressing matters than an online journal. But yeah, happy birthday! Man you're really at the begining of it. 15...I can't even remember that. ha! only 3 years ago. How sad.
from ebsublime :
I learned this weekend that 63% of American families are dysfunctional...We are now the majority!!!
from ebsublime :
Hey there I miss you. You haven't written in awhile, I read your diary every day! :) Hope everything is well and you are doing ok.
from numbthievery :
I'm glad I could help in some small way. Keep your chin up. Thats sounds stupid, just have a rockin time being yourself. That sounds stupid too. Ahhhh....just don't get hit by a bus today.
from ebsublime :
I like your things to do before you die list, I'll have to make a list some day and post it up there. you have some very interesting things, plus some things that I would also like to do myself, good luck with getting them all accomplished!
from ebsublime :
You're a really good writer if I haven't mentioned it yet. You express yourself well.
from numbthievery :
the angsty teenager rules again. Don't worry hun, she'll grow out of it.
from numbthievery :
Yes, lets make it a competition to see who lives are more fucked up... Anyway- welcome to the wonderful stage in life know as 'teenager' yes it's brimming with new experiences, wonderful senses and of course over clouded with mind numbing depression. Let's face it, no teenager likes who they are- if they say they do they're lying to you. Nothing anybody says if going to make you feel better about pretty much anything. You're just going to have to ride it through like everyone else did and try not to let everything insignificant bring you down. Life�s tough, yeah I know it. What gets me through high school is that I just didn't give a shit about everyone else. I don't care if my hair is greasy or that my clothes are hand me downs or second hand. It doesn't matter that I'm totally failing and that very few people actually like me, why? Because it's fucking high school!! I don't need to impress some snotty nosed brat, with a silver spoon in their mouth, to make me feel good about myself. I'm only going to spend 4 years of my entire life their. What I do isn't going to matter. What happens isn't going to shape who I am. I've got plenty of time to do that shit- unless of course I get hit by a bus, but still! Who gives a shit. Just make the best of the crap you were handed and get over it. I have a fucking girlfriend who attempts suicide on a regular basis, beat that! It's not worth it. People spend too much time on the down side to ever look around and see the beauty around them- inside and out. If you don't like yourself because someone doesn't look at you the right way or you're not living up to someone else�s expectations then I feel sorry for you. Screw all of them, who gives a shit about them. You're the only person who can make You feel better about Yourself. You're better than all that's out there trying to tear you down. You're worth something, if not to yourself than someone else. But you need to do it for yourself.
from ebsublime :
Haha you definitely haven't scared me away, have you ever read my diary, I am waaayyy more fucked up then you.
from numbthievery :
what?! Are you girls crazy. I don't know much, but I do know that harming yourself to fit in is very wrong. You really do need to talk to someone about this. If your friends say something like 'oh I do that sometimes too' or 'everyone diets in different ways' talk to someone else. They obviously have rooted self esteem problems as well. You said you've gotten caught? Well what happened, hasn't your family taken any steps to help you? I'm not saying your horribly wrong or abnormal, it's just that it isn't healthy to starve yourself. One of my best friends is anorexic, her ballet teachers use to call her fat when she was 115 lbs. she's 18 and 5'7". You shouldn't have to feel that way about yourself. You seem like such a wonderful person who�s just too hard on themselves. You don't need to look like a model or have a 12 year-old's body to be beautiful. Your friends love you, so do your parents and I'm sure they don't care how little you weigh. And everyone else in the world can just suck it, because you're beautiful and you're smart and talented. Just take care of yourself. And as always if you�re willing to talk to some psycho you�ve never met, I�m always here out in cyber land.
from ebsublime :
Hey don't worry I didn't eat today either! Another day to almost waste.
from numbthievery :
don't you love how many notes you get from us two. We're deeply fasinated with your life and fully supportive and you've never even met us before! Anyway- glad your day was good. I hope you have more.
from ebsublime :
Hey! I'm glad that you had an awesome day! Things are turning up you'll see well I hope that you have another terrific day tomorrow, you deserve it!
from numbthievery :
people need to argue with clocks more...much more
from ebsublime :
Hey I just wanted to tell you that I read your diary everyday and I think you diary is the shit! You are a talented writer, keep writing.
from ebsublime :
Hy sorry I haven't written in awhile, but here I go with my pathetic rantings....but this is what I believe, I believe that no one likes me now, no one has ever liked me and no one will ever like me. I have faced this fact now and can not complain anymore if it's the inevitable fact what can you do right? So just play along...it's all you can do to not hate yourself all of the time, play along even though you know the truth that's what everyone else does.
from numbthievery :
I have a bit of that complex as well. aahhh, self-loathing, I know thee well.
from skeletonboy :
Um, hi. I guess that I should thanks for listing me as one of your favorite diaries. So thanks. (-=
from ebsublime :
Don't worry you won't turn out to be your mom, and don't feel bad because I am literally failing all of my classes. Literally all of my classes...and F yeah it sucks but oh well! Feel better!!!! Be happy!!!! and smile :)!!!!
from ebsublime :
Ok some more fun quotes for you, today they are brought to you by "Dumb and Dumber": -We have no food, we have no jobs, are pets heads are falling off! - Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens although slow and dangerous behind the wheel can still serve a purpose....Don't you go dying on me! - His head fell off! - She gave me a bunch of crap about not listening to her enough or something. I don't know I wasn't really paying attention. - Kiss his ass seabass! - You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? Harry I took care of it. - That's a lovely accent you got there New Jersey? - Why you goin to the airport? Flyin somewhere? - Excuse me, Flo? - Husband? What was all that one in a million talk? - Mary, I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy. - It's ok I'm a limo driver! - Give it to me you pumpin-pie hair cutted freak. - Radio, who needs a radio? - Goodbye my loooooove! - So you're telling me there's a chance. - Pick em up! - We're there! - We've landed on the moon! Hope it can make you laugh again!
from numbthievery :
Someone who reads my journal has that screws fall out one on their profile. That's sad that I know their profile so well. Anyway poetry- ahhh...nothing like angsty teenage poetry to realize how crappy people think their lives are, it just brightens up my day! This isn't an attack on you, I've just read a lot of bad poetry. Beat poetry is pretty good, and if you get to a good night at an open mic- slam can be okay.
from ebsublime :
Since you had a quote from TBC it has inspired me to make a more light-hearted comment from the movie: ---John Bender is my fav character so here are some of his quotes: -Well...I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not gonna go out and join one of their fuckin' clubs. -So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. -I don't have it, screws fall out all the time the world is an imperfect place. -It's outta my hands. -That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire? I think violtaing fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this junction in your career, sir. -Claire...No, it's a fat girl's name. -Well Bryan, this is a very nutrious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Who did your mom marry, Mr. Rogers? -"What if your dope was on fire?" Impossible sir, it's in Johnson's underpants.
from ebsublime :
By the way...I really like the fact that you can express your feelings really well. You don't hide it or overanalize, you just say exactly what you are thinking it's awesome.
from ebsublime :
Alright...this is all I have to say: I am 18 years old, I am a freshman in college, I have never had a boyfriend before, I was never "seeing" a guy before this ultimately sucks, but I have learned to deal with it because I am not one of those prissy bitches who is going to throw themselves all over a guy just so they can get some attention and be labeled as a slut. Sorry, that's not me and I would never want to be brought down to that level, I also hang out with mostly guys all of the time, well not anymore but when I was in high school. It's all good don't worry about it so much everytime you feel bad because you are a sophmore and have never had a boyfriend just think of me and it will make you feel better! :)
from numbthievery :
If it makes you feel any better I didn't have my first kiss until I was 17. sad.....
from numbthievery :
I mostly just like quality fiction. I'm not as up in the reading scene as I should be. I'm sadly enough not really into poetry; I think it's tripe that people as an excuse to complain. Also it's way to over analyzed, ruining the whole flavor. Like when you actually find out what's in a Twinkie.
from numbthievery :
I'm not that fantastic. So you like to write? I do too. High school writing classes are a joke, so don't feel bad that you're not in it. You can take workshop or even writing technique classes offered all over the place. You can also go to lectures authors give all the time; you just have to look them up. You'll get a lot more out of those then any pathetic course given at school. France is my favorite place in the universe. I hope you�ll love as much as I do.
from ebsublime :
I was thinking about what you wrote about love and I realized that I don't really think love exists, I think it is a figment of your imagination a thing you would like to think exists. I dunno maybe I am overexaggerating but who the fuck cares thats what I think.
from numbthievery :
that could not of been the best. my favorite thing had to be... i saw a falling star.
from numbthievery :
hi, how are you feeling? what was your absolute favorite thing that happened today?
from ebsublime :
Hey there I like what you wrote today 9-22 I think most of what you said was true, you sound like a cool girl! Smile :) --Sublime is the best!
from numbthievery :
hey, hey, hey...take some deep breaths, calm down. It's okay. What's bothering you? need someone to talk to? Sorry this is random. Stumbled upon you, thought you might want to talk.

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