messages to whereistand:
(click here to add new message):
| from ana2002 : |
| Hi hon, I have been away for a while. I am glad to be back. I miss reading about you and what is going on in your world. Any chance you could email me the password? If you don't want to I will respect your decision but I sure would love to hear from you! - Ana |
| from perdiendome : |
| the lj problem is with everyone, not just you... they tell me something about an open proxy and that i am a spam supplier? i don't remember exactly... but i'm thinking if i get a lj, even one i don't update much, then i can keep up with you better and hopefully comment on what you write. :) how do i get a lj? i read something about getting some special number or code from someone who has one... is this true? if so, can i get one from you? email me: [email protected]... thanks! |
| from perdiendome : |
| do you get notified for getting notes? ;) i am thinking of switching to lj, as EVERYONE is doing it... so i should too... :P i suppose it would be easier. but until i do that, i'll be leaving notes here, b/c lj insists i cannot leave comments--they hate me! i am glad you got the note at the right time... that's what i was hoping. nite-nite. |
| from eventhewind : |
| it doesn't have to be as bad as I can imagine; it's more than enough bad as is. you need to take care of yourself. (please!) and know that I'm here. |
| from perdiendome : |
| wow! it is so great to read those words: "the 25th will be a year since i cut (and i'll get there)"! i can't think of many sentences that have made me happier to read. you are incredible. incredible. love, beth p.s. sorry, mary, for making you share the notes page. i know you're posessive of them, but shannon's gb wouldn't load, and i had to leave her a note somewhere ;) |
| from eventhewind : |
| beautiful plan, beautiful girl! mmm! somewhere in it, you either need to be home or remind me of your cell number, so I can be something of a happy, loving-knowing person long-distance. mwa. congratulations on getting here and planning to go beyond. and your note about the vibey things made me smile, which is good because as of yet, I'm not delirious, and so I haven't been feeling much of anything that resembles smile-li-ness. ...what's the new tattoo? ::love:: |
| from eventhewind : |
| tomorrow comes and eventually is better. promise. wish I had more than that. LOVE. |
| from eventhewind : |
| wow. |
| from eventhewind : |
| on first thought, I think you'd make a really glorious moonbeam. but then, I wouldn't get to hug you in the subway again, and that would suck much. hmm. maybe in our next lives, you can be the dolphin, and I can be an otter, and we can splash around together and be friends. as for this life, I want to hug you more before you transcend species, okie? ::love and refills:: (refills? I couldn't think of a better term to counter drained. fueling? ridiculous attempts to be articulate? oh, yes, the last one! definitely that last one!) |
| from chordchild : |
| it's the second one!!! oh, sweetie, it's the second one!!! ::nods emphatically:: (p.s. I think we redeemed the penguins. there's a whole lot of penguin love going on now, and it's all thanks to US. ;)) |
| from chordchild : |
| yeay you! squee! |
| from chordchild : |
| now, we've got it. win the lottery and find substitute selves. personally, I'd like a week off... ::love:: |
| from chordchild : |
| I love you. You've been a constant presence in my thoughts since we last talked. I had been hoping to make that clear before now - to call or write or something. To let you know about the hope I have and how I continue to hold onto you. Tight as a lizard to your ear (in the beginning minutes.) a most gigantical HUGGLE, dear one. |
| from perdiendome : |
| I'm here whether you like it or not. I read your words and I care. I'm not always good at saying it, but I like you and am always hoping for the best for you. I'll be here til you kick me out. ;) Hugs, my dear. Take care. |
| from chordchild : |
| do I get a vote? :< |
| from chordchild : |
| oh that I could hold you now... |
| from chordchild : |
| I really believe it's not the essential you who struggles with these things. it's all the pain that's been placed on top of her, and through that pain...of course you struggle. and I'm sorry that you do; I truly am. but I never attribute it to stupidity or weakness on your part. and there are some comforts it takes extraordinary courage to walk away from. I know you're trying to save yourself, not harm her. I'm sorry that you aren't allowed to know that, also, all the time. and as always, my dear penguin, I love you better than in penguin terms. |
| from sherpahigh : |
| I do miss you. |
| from perdiendome : |
| i'm so sorry you're hurting so much. let me know if i can do anything, or say anything, or hope for anything in particular that will help. otherwise i'll just keep sending you love & confidence vibes from texas. they're the best, you know. ;) |
| from chordchild : |
| it looks this way to me, at the moment: we can be unhappy knowing people care for us. so why couldn't we be happy without knowing it? I think we have to find that other thing, that caring for ourselves, and then we're ok no matter what. but since *I* know people care about you, I know that when you find that part, you'll see the other people caring for you, too. and it won't be the same saving grace we always expected, I don't think, but it's a comfort always. I hope this makes just the slightest bit of sense. (I can't really tell.) And for the record, I still believe in you. And I still love you. And you're still the only person who knows why penguins make me smile shy, delighted smiles. |
| from perdiendome : |
| apparently guestbooks everywhere are revolting, or something... so i wandered here to leave you the message i meant to leave you in your guestbook (and copied and will paste here because i'm a nerd like that): "don't half-sick days suck the most? get yourself well, and--whack!--that was me bitch-slapping (i can't think of a better term!) your guilt... enjoy some good rest!" |
| from chordchild : |
| there simply are no words. do you realize what miracle you've made here, Shan? I'm so so so beyond proud of you! for picking up your life *again* six months ago and working hard to keep it. YOU wanted to spend your night with FRIENDS! YOU haven't cut for many, many, many nights. YOU will HEAL, my dear, and I hope this time, you can hear that as positive or possible. but sometimes, these dates of ours have ambivalence attached. so know that it's ok to think I'm entirely wrong about all of it, even if it's just to breathe. but it's also ok to know that someone else understands (almost) how hard it's been, and how hard it will continue to be. how strong you are. and how deserving of the love I can't help (and wouldn't want to help) having for you. happy six months, Shannon. |
| from chordchild : |
| tauntingish was not my intention. so why is it making me giggle madly? ;> I may have to call you when you're not out having fun, so as not to be tauntingish. ::love, love, bounce, love:: |
| from chordchild : |
| a belated you-are-so-strong-&-congratulations. though congratulations never seem quite right. and I'm sorry you have to fight it all to begin with. but you have found your way through five months. and that's something so somethingish it must be acknowledged. ::love:: |
| from chordchild : |
| here. (oh so quietly. oh so still.) here. |
| from chordchild : |
| oh, my god, Shan. I'm completely, entirely here, whatever help I can be. I am loving you and sending all the good I can spare to you. holding onto you. so much love. |
| from chordchild : |
| oooh, it's been far too long since I danced down a hallway! don't let their looks stop you. that's a hugely underrated pastime. ::huggle:: ...thanks again for the other night. |
| from bean-bean : |
| i cry my eyes everytime i watch city of angels, i actually weep for the last 20 minutes or so. note:you dont know me, nor do i know you...i just thought i would say. |
| from chordchild : |
| mm, I love a girl whose *plan* for June 21st is to go back to Hogwarts. yeeeeee! (and yes! I mean you!) |
| from chordchild : |
| ooh, you can talk a little! and I would so run out for milkshakes if I were there. chocolate milkshakes are one of life's basic necessities. and I know it's horrible, but *do* let up on the singing, ok? and I'm serious about the lemon juice, honey, and warm water! six years of choir concerts and soloists with laringitis teach a girl some things. :) (guess what! I just signed your guestbook! and now I'm here! babbling more! whoo!) |
| from chordchild : |
| ::hugs and more hugs and general nursing of my poor sick Shannon:: :( oh, and lemon juice, and honey, and warm water, and good soup, (but not all at once because that will make your tummy sick as well.) as for the docs, I suggest a small dry-erase board and marker. I've never tried it, but I always thought it'd be a good tactic. ::huggle:: loving you. |
| from chordchild : |
| yeay, you. as beckett would say, better to tell the stories on your own terms than have them break in during the night. (ok, he worded it a bit differently, but it means what it means.) ::love:: |
| from chordchild : |
| *hug* |
| from dont-stop : |
| Sometimes you have to open up and give yourself a little room to breathe. |
| from chordchild : |
| it's so good to have you back... |
| from chordchild : |
| I say we go with the proud option. I'm definitely proud of you. ::love:: |
| from chordchild : |
| oh, I love you. hang on, love. |
| from chordchild : |
| I'm hanging onto you. (and at the same time, glad to feel you hanging onto me.) |
| from stufoo11 : |
| Definately look for a new psychiatrist...anyone in that line of work who would ignore an obvious need to be heard should be fired!!!I went through (and continue to battle) similar needs to ease my pain, so I can relate somewhat.....Kim |
| from chordchild : |
| I second the new psychiatrist option. anyway who doesn't call back deserves a bootprint on their head. I'll still smack this one around if you're seeing someone else by the time I get there. :) |
| from glowcircuit : |
| in my quiet neurosis I figured out that 'back again' and 'whereistand' where the same person, or very closly associated. I enjoy both very much, keep writing and i'll keep reading. glow...................... |
| from chordchild : |
| sometimes it helps me to know that I'm heard. damnit, I want to be less helpless...anyway. you are heard. and loved. |
| from chordchild : |
| can you call someone before it gets worse? :hug: p.s. I don't know, but I wish I could help it not hurt. here if there's a way I can be useful... |
| from chordchild : |
| first. congratulations, sweetie. second. you did not get the alix olson cd! you did not! ::is jealous:: third. ::love:: |
| from chordchild : |
| this really isn't me trying to monopolize your notes. it's me saying that the reason I haven't e-mailed you a reply is because I have too much to say and too little energy to say it. (if I say that in an e-mail, I'll end up telling you everything, and not sleeping- which is bad on some level, I think. ;)) I also wanted you to know that clean2202 wrote an entry on marathons that made me think of yours, and well, since they're companion pieces in my head I thought at least the author I know should be informed. :) ::huggle:: and thanks for the letter that was better than the one I wrote to myself. more tomorrow. dream sweet dreams for now, and have a good day after reading this. a good, good day. |
| from chordchild : |
| from the date of your entry, it looks like we were both fed up around the same time. I left the room at 8:30. damn. I really did want to be an informed citizen. but it was getting painful to listen to. |
| from chordchild : |
| ::applauds:: |
| from chordchild : |
| it's the pain that's ridiculous, Shan. not the life. I'm here and there and on the other end of the phone line; be sure to know. love. |
| from psychodyke : |
| don't know why I'm choosing to leave a message here instead of elsewhere... perhaps because this one looks lonely... anyhow... great admiration for listing eve ensler... nothing written. and nothing video. has ever. ever. brought me to tears. until her. |
| from chordchild : |
| I'm sorry that it hurt you. |
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