messages to xxplaydeadxx:
(click here to add new message):
| from fatalbreath : |
| <3 |
| from fatalbreath : |
| long time... pass has changed but I realize there's no way to send a private message. Anyway hope you've been doing well :) |
| from enurta : |
| haha I keep leaving notes to the wrong diary. I left you one on the other :) MWAAAAAAAAAAH! |
| from enurta : |
| sweetie. I've lost the password :( can you email it to me? |
| from enurta : |
| I don't have the password to the other one either :( |
| from enurta : |
| password please, babycakes? I've missed you. are you back? because I am. and nothing is locked. I love you |
| from defaults : |
| i know this is a super duper long shot, but way back in your notes i left my email address (as the username cheekyash) and i use that email address for business now, when people search it it links to this site, i've locked up the diaries but the notes are still free to read, would it be waaayyy too much hassle to ask you to get rid of it for me? and this one too <3 |
| from deathbytears : |
| sorry i haven't been on/updated in forever. I'm happier than i used to be, and I find i want to write less when i'm happy. which is bad, because i mainly have negative memories to look back on. i'm just about to catch up on your diary. email me? i can reply at work, i don't come on the pc much at home. still love you :)xxx |
| from fatalbreath : |
| So glad to see that you updated... so not glad about how negative it was. Stay strong lady. <3 |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I have not visited this diary in a couple years now. I just saw your note now. I came back with the intent to print off a bunch of my old entries, but apparently I had transferred everything to blogger and deleted the blogger diary. I just wanted to let you know, if you are even still around here, that I am okay. I am more than okay, actually. I have not been hospitalized for two or three years... can't remember exactly, I've had a lot of shock treatments over the years and dates are very fuzzy. Most everything from age 5-15 got buried deep by it's the shock treatments, and I can't remember most of it. From age 15 up (I'm 25 now), it's all very fuzzy with blank spots and spots that got all mixed up. I am trying to find my diaries from back when I was so sick, so I have reference material of sorts for the memoir I plan to write. I have found a few of the paper ones. I know some got burned and thrown away. Most of the online diaries got deleted. Anyway, I'm doing great. Been in this apartment for almost four years now. Haven't self-injured in a couple years. Am down to just one psychiatric medication instead of, oh, a bunch like before. I still struggle with food, I think I always will, but it's a million times better than it used to be. I damaged my organs and my body in general with all that starvation and purging, and they say I aged my insides about forty years. Chemical damage from all the high dose long term medications didn't help any, and the shock treatments gave me brain damage. As a result of my past, I have a lot of autoimmune problems and chronic pain now. The pain doctor finally threw up his hands and sent me to a rheumatologist, who I see for the first time in November. Halfway through the 10-week wait to get in to see this dr peterson guy at the University of Minnesota Medical Center. They don't know exactly what's wrong, their best guess has been fibromyalgia and some kind of arthritis or other autoimmune joint disease. Rather ironic how I almost killed myself trying to control my own body, and in the end it turned on me and is destroying itself against my will. But it could be a lot worse... I could be dead. I found myself a partner about a year ago who is worth keeping around, who treats me like gold and loves me for me. I love him too. Was quite the shock to me that I fell for a guy though. I guess we all just love who we love. I am happy, and I am alive. I beat the massive odds stacked against me. Danielle, I don't blog regularly anywhere now, but you can email me at [email protected] or facebook me. There's only two people with my name on facebook, and I'm the one in minnesota. I hope you are okay, wherever you are and whatever you're doing. All the best... Emily |
| from comebacktome : |
| Hullo from pommie land! I keep forgetting my damn password and that means that I am never up to date, I suck, I'm sorry! I'm sorry to hear that you broke up...although are you back together now, I get fuzzled! Anywho, yes yellow spandex was creepy, but I survived, huzzah! I am also hoping that the chest pains thing is nothing...your body worries me sometimes!! Anyway tis late, I am rambling, I just wanted to say hi. So, Hi! :D xoxo |
| from fatalbreath : |
| I'm boring too so no worries. I've been EDNOS for about 7 years now. Never officially diagnosed. I guess I'm just a drama queen. Thanks for the pass :) |
| from fatalbreath : |
| Sorry. I always forget to read my notes. Binging does suck :( I'm Aly. Can I have your user/pass? |
| from enurta : |
| *shouldn't* judge, not *should*. sorry. typed too fast. |
| from enurta : |
| Thanks for the encouraging note, sweetie! I guess I should judge Hayley�I don�t know her, but I know you, and I�m sick of reading about you getting hurt because of her. Of course, I don�t know the whole story so my opinion isn�t exactly �fair�. I just love you, that�s all. Are you still living with your mom? Take and God bless. <3 |
| from enurta : |
| sorry I never replied. I just thought you deserve better, so I didn't know what to write. I love you Danielle. I hope you can send me a letter soon? miss you. |
| from enurta : |
| omg!!! I'm so happy you finally updated, I was really worried about you. I'm glad you're fine. Love you babe!!! |
| from deathbytears : |
| I'm sorry... :( xxxxxxxx |
| from enurta : |
| I'm so sorry you guys broke up. i think you deserve better though. you are beautiful, inside & out. remember that cupcake. wish i could be there and hug you. |
| from enurta : |
| I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time...I want you to know that you are always in my prayers. love you. <3 |
| from kelms28 : |
| Hahaha, that's one of my all-time favorite sayings. P: Have fun with it. :)) Yeah, my mind is just.... strange. It's weird, but fun. Sometimes haha :] Thanks ya, you're really cool too ;DD |
| from comebacktome : |
| :O The cheek!! I haven't been reading because you locked up AND you haven't sent me my new password (which I requested aaaages ago) :( How can you lose my email, just start typing my name and it should come up. OR you can email me through FB. You have no excuse missy!!! :P I am glad you are alive but, even if you insult me in the process. Asshat indeed. Hurrumph. I still loves ya xo |
| from enurta : |
| Keep fighting Danielle, you can do it! You�re so strong and brave. Love you cupcake. *hugs* |
| from comebacktome : |
| Danielle!!!! You're back!!! Where have you been?? I have missed you, I have been thinking of you lately and hoping you are alive and doing okay :) Send me an email and update me huh huh huh? Your notes always make me laugh- particularly references to Gallus as an arsefish. Love it. And Mucha is cool okay, don't diss the art nouveau! There will be pics on FB once I finish my assignment today xoxo |
| from kelms28 : |
| Thankss :) You're strong to have made it through all of that. If it helps, I think you've been doing a great job of getting better. The changes you've made are really obvious. :D Just keep on keepin' on, Danielle. Really? You'd make a layout for me? Okeyy dokeyy. I'll email you when I find a pic. =] Duuude. Maria Mena is AMAAAZING!! x] Her lyrics are so beautiful, it's like the songs were made just for her voice. <3 :3 |
| from kelms28 : |
| Thanks :) Ha, I'm 13, I'll be 14 this summer. By the way, how are you? I've been reading a lot of your older entries and you've really changed. I think you're doing a good job. :) Danielle, you're awesome. Just thought I'd mention that. :D |
| from enurta : |
| thanks for being so supportive....you're right :) love you too. |
| from enurta : |
| What an awful dream :( I would never do that to you! I hope you know that. I love you <3 |
| from enurta : |
| I wish we lived in the same place too, we'd have so much fun :) Love you too cupcake. miss you. xxx |
| from deathbytears : |
| sorry :( i hope everything turns out for the best... xxxx |
| from enurta : |
| thank you so much for e-mailing me. I don't want to lose you as a friend. because i really fucking care about you, so much danielle. please take care of yourself. i replied to the e-mail you sent. |
| from enurta : |
| I always read your diary. And I know what you're going through - I understand. You are doing real good danielle, I always pray for you. you are not alone. <3 |
| from deathbytears : |
| i think the stronger codeine pills (30mg codeine with 500mg paracetamol) make people "high" (spaced out and really weird, according to my collegue who had them for her back). the ones i was on were weaker. but i've been on them since december, only just come off them. hello withdrawal! oh dear. sorry you've ben struggling :( but after seeing an american supermarket, i can see why. hey have everything, so much more than even the biggest one in my area. and everything is sweeter and in larger portions. (mcdonalds large fries in LA was larger than the supersize we used to have). you're really not in the best place, to try and get better :( xxxx |
| from enurta : |
| oh my god I'm so sorry about your friend. I hope she gets better...you are in my prayers. love you. |
| from enurta : |
| I'm doing it for myself as well. I think, if I'm healthy and happy - then everyone who loves me will be happy too. I'm glad you liked the gift :) love you. |
| from enurta : |
| hey cupcake. I'm so sorry you felt so crappy on your birthday. I hope you'll feel better when my letter arrives :) love you. and happy birthday. |
| from enurta : |
| send� spelled a thousand words wrong in the previous note. sorry. i got to excited. hahah hope you understand what I meant anyway |
| from enurta : |
| your birthday is coming up? how old are you now? I want to buy you something and send it to you...can u send my your address and stuff to my e-mail? only if you feel like if of course. I'd love to write you a letter and give you something. love you lots. |
| from enurta : |
| hey cupcake. thanks for the note. you are right about everything as usual... everything okay? how are you these days? It's been a while you don't update very often, that's kind of a shame because I miss you when you're not around! I love you too hun. MWAH! |
| from comebacktome : |
| Heya sweets, so I sent you an explanatory email AND I fixed my archives page, so it works now. Hopefully these two things will help to make you less confused. Oh and I need a new password for your diary, I tried to use the old one and it didn't work *sad face*. P.s thanks for the encouragement, I'm glad I made you proud. That's not creepy at all lol xo |
| from comebacktome : |
| Which bit my sweet? It was mostly just me talking to myself on the train. I am in England now BTW and basically thinking I might take the freebie we discussed, without guilt or fear. I hope you are okay, I haven't heard from you in a while xo |
| from enurta : |
| I weigh 161 lbs. so I'm not underweight at all, you don't need to worry. I used to weigh under 100 pounds beofre I started taking medication, this was years ago. since then I've gained like a 100 pounds. I've lost 40 so far. |
| from enurta : |
| you are so good to me. you must be an angel, because you always make me feel better no matter what. I smile everytime I read a note you've left even though I felt like uttershit before I read it. |
| from enurta : |
| enurta is the Babylonian god of war. since I am at war with the demons - I named myself 'enurta'. |
| from enurta : |
| your teeth look great, hun! love you. |
| from enurta : |
| omg. i almost cried. you are so sweet! and your voice is beautiful. i'm so lucky I have such a good friend :) I love you!!!!!!!! thank you so much. *hugs* |
| from enurta : |
| yeah i know....but i can't find the address....i e-mailed you back. i hope you can send me the link istead. love you. |
| from enurta : |
| I used to think just like you, what you wrote was exactly what I used to say to N, and anyone who asked me about my smoking habits. �Either I quit completely or not at all�. I�ve quit many times, sometimes I had not smoked for months! But then I started again�because even though my body wasn�t addicted any more, my mind was. So whenever something happened, I turned to smoking. It was a vicious cycle. Then a dear friend to me, (d-land friend) told me how he quit smoking�and he just cut back until he didn�t need them anymore. So I thought to myself, why not try? No harm in trying, right? And it�s awesome. It works well. I am less addicted to it. And I use nicotine spray a few times a day. Are you using something to help you quit? I recommend nicotine patches or spray. There is also a medication called Zyban you can try. But I recommend you to use patches, gum or spray. |
| from enurta : |
| I'm trying to quit smoking too. but it takes time. now I smoke 10 ciggarettes or less a day instead of 2 packs...so I am doing alright. my goal tomorrow is to only smoke 5! I haven't purged for a week either and I'm really proud of myself for that. you have to take babysteps....love you! I hope you have fun. i kind of freak out when I'm around a lot of people too. but I try to surround myself with only good people - the ones I truly love & care about. it makes things a lot easier. i hope you do the same. xxx |
| from enurta : |
| aww cupcake. you don't need to buy me anything. just send me a card or something :) or a letter. I'd be happy. love you. mwah! |
| from enurta : |
| you are so sweet to me. you don't have to get angry at her, I should be able to defend myself. allthough I never do...I don't know why...and for the record, you're the coolest person on D-land :) love you. xxx |
| from enurta : |
| the movie was awsome. the best horror movie I've seen for years! it kind of reminds me of blair witch, have u seen it? but paranormal activity is like a thousand times better. love you babe. xxx |
| from enurta : |
| I've got windows live messenger. you can add me if you want, it's my e-mail adress. |
| from enurta : |
| you never make me angry. what you said is right. and don't worry, I won't kill myself. I have too much to live for. just had a bad day yesterday. i'm feeling a lot better now. love you. xxx |
| from enurta : |
| sweetie, i'm never mad at you. i've just been...busy. busy eating and purging. i am hoping today will be different though. love you. |
| from defaults : |
| hey there sweetheart. any chance i could get your username/password combo? i can't exactly say who i am right here, but you've known me from around diaryland before, promise. |
| from enurta : |
| Thanks for the note. Well, she wants a nurse to inject me with an antipsychotic medicaiton called Rispderdal every two weeks. I hate that medication. It made me gain weight and sleep all the time, I never got an injection with it, I only took it as a pill. But The effect is stronger if you get injected so I don�t even want to imagine what it�s like to take Riserpdal that way. There is another medication that can get used to inject, it�s called Haldol. Maybe I would agree to get a haldol injection but never fucking Riserpdal. I�d rather die. Just read your diary�sorry about what you�re going through.. Sorry about your teeth, God, it must feel terrible. Does it hurt? I love you too sweetie. |
| from minstrelite : |
| You can read my diary if you want. You're Enurta's friend, and she's my friend. You can show her this note and get the password from her, or write me through DiaryLand - if you want. There's nothing really much in there - I'm usually in a pretty good space these days until I fuck up somehow. |
| from enurta : |
| thank you for your note. it made a lot of sense. i understand what you mean. but...i've lost your user/pass and I really want to read your diary. could you please send it to [email protected]? love you. xxx |
| from skinny--girl : |
| LOVE the new layout~ plus I went back a few pages and saw the haircut - ADORABLE! |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| You are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. And I adore you. |
| from skinny--girl : |
| sounds like the doctor is either some kind of bizarro genius or a complete moron. My vote's on the latter. PS I love your new background but it gives me a headache with the flashing. :( |
| from enurta : |
| It's okay. I mean, it hurts that he has cheated on me a couple of times but somehow it makes me feel less guilty. I was psychotic 3 years ago and cheated on him too. I also thought I was inlove with another man. I wasn't myself. So that he has cheated, makes me feel less guilty about what I did. He is glad that I forgave him but he cannot forgive himself and it's driving him crazy. He is really depressed. I have to choose my words wisely. |
| from pamperedpuma : |
| Have you changed your password hunny?? Cxx |
| from enurta : |
| i try to stand up for myself when he is here and he says those things to me face to face. but over the phone, why fucking bother? I am too tired to argue. so I just agree, no matter what he says. i talk to him because i have to. i wish i could just move on but i can't. because it's not about me. and if you know my dad, you know that no matter what you say...it's like he doesn't understand. it's like im talking a different langague. he lives in his little bubble where i am 5 years old. he talks to me like im a little girl. he doesn't even speak to my sister that way and she is 10 years younger than me! she is a fucking kid, not me. but i get that treatment. my dad is fucked up. i cannot even begin to explain how fucked up he is.... and about clothes not fitting, I hear ya. i have the exact same problem. and i have no money to buy new ones either. all the stuff I wear has holes in it or is torn in some way. i look like a bum. but it's okay. i like your hair! you are very beautiful as usual.... :) love you. xxx |
| from fake-angelic : |
| do a swap? smile/emptysoul |
| from enurta : |
| Thanks for the note! You don�t have to force yourself to reply sweetie�you can leave a note when you have time or feel like it. I don�t care about stuff like that. I would still care and read your diary even if you didn�t leave notes at all. About my tummy�it�s gotten better. My MD prescribed some pills that are supposed to help. I hope they�ll work. I haven�t used them yet because I haven�t been feeling any pain. But if the pills don�t work, then they have to�I�m not sure what it�s called in English but basically they shove down this tiny camera down my throat and look at the inside of my stomach. Love you! xxx |
| from kelms28 : |
| That's only how strange Walmart is here. But then again, Georgia is filled with strange people. :) Haha, I just thought I'd mention that. Good luck with getting a job! |
| from paintingrock : |
| can I have your password again? I haven't been on in yonks and went to read your diary but remembered you changed your password. Can I also have the password to x-razor-x? Hope you're going well =) love you |
| from paintingrock : |
| can I have your password again? I haven't been on in yonks and went to read your diary but remembered you changed your password. Can I also have the password to x-razor-x? Hope you're going well =) love you |
| from enurta : |
| My father hates N because N is Persian, and my father is an arab. My father thinks �Arabs� are so much better than other people�. He is just a close-minded racist asshole�fuck him. He has never even been to my home! Because N lives here, he refuses to set one foot in this apartment. And I�ve been married for 5 years, we�ve been together for 9. He is never going to change, because he can�t stop thinking that he�s better than everyone else. I hate people like that. But it�s okay. He is going to burn in hell after he dies. Maybe that�s a mean thing to say, but that is how I feel. I only put up with him for my mom�s sake. And as long as he doesn�t try to beat me up again like he did while I grew up�I will keep speaking to him, because after all, he is my father. I want to try to get along with everyone. And just like how you wrote that you and haley�s mom would get along, so would N and my dad. But he doesn�t want to give him a chance so I�ve given up on the idea. My father is going to die a lonely man. He doesn�t take care of his family, he just throws money at us and expect us to do whatever he wants. *hugs* |
| from enurta : |
| I'm glad you don't have to hide the fact that you are living together anymore. And you are totally right, YOU are in control now :) but in a good way..... :P |
| from enurta : |
| I know how you feel about Hayley's mom...N feels the exact same way about my dad. He still doesn't accept the fact that I have been together with N for 9 years, almost 10! And married for 5. He ignores my husband, pretends that he doesn't exist. He has never been to my home because he hates N. I still don't understand why...I just know that it makes me really sad and emotional. so i know how hayley must feel. it's a terrible feeling, like you're not good enough....and it hurts. it really hurts. just try to comfort her as much as you can. she needs you. but how are You doing? how do you feel about all of this? you can always talk to be no matter what. send an e-mail, a note, a facebook message I don't care where/how but keep in touch with me, okay? love you <3 |
| from skinny--girl : |
| thanks for the note. that's a fantastic pic you have there. i put examples of my new hairstyle on my blog if you want to see. not me, i don't post pics here cause it's my *secret blog*, lol. B's surgery is on two herniated discs in his lower neck. They have to fuse them together. Surgery is always scary, but neck surgery is like, i-wanna-freak-out kind of scary. I'll just be glad when it's over. As for weight...125 is my goal, so I have a ways to go, yeah. I'm sorry you have such a train wreck of a mother. That is just...I don't even know what to say. (((HUGS))) |
| from enurta : |
| wow. that photo is stunning! I knew you were beautiful (seen a pic of you on facebook) but this one was different. i love the eyes, the lips/the hair.....all I can say is WOW. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Yeah... lice are gross! And the lice combs do suck. They are very poorly made. I quit my job so I no longer work that tiny amount now. But I got all my financial aid for school plus extra so it's okay. My boss was rather shitty-- she was doing some illegal stuff involving my employment that was so not okay with me, but I didn't find out it was illegal until recently. More details on my blog. I also have vacation pictures from my trip up north this 4th of july! |
| from skinny--girl : |
| i hope you can get your hair cut soon. i just got all mine chopped off for locks of love -- 14 inches! it's taking some getting used to, but feels great. hugs to haley, summer colds suck. |
| from enurta : |
| *sending hugs to hayley and you* |
| from skinny--girl : |
| thanks, dear, for your note. and don't worry about it being too long, i ramble too. thanks for giving me access to your journal. i'll enjoy watching you take your journey! hopefully we can be successful together, and not let ourselves get too crazy. ;) have you seen the site hungry girl? it's a great source for low cal foodstuffs and ideas: http://www.hungry-girl.com/ Later, R |
| from skinny--girl : |
| i did finally get a chance to listen to maria mena, and wanted to come say thanks for the recommendation. i'd never heard of her before & she's fantastic! |
| from enurta : |
| I KNOW for a fact, that you are more beautiful in real life� I know that, because I�ve read your diary and received so much comfort and advice from you over the years. I really care about you. Everytime you leave a note, I read it, I always feel better after talking to you. You are a very important person to me and I wish and hope that we are going to meet some day <3 |
| from skinny--girl : |
| Thanks for the lovely message. I came to read your journal and it's locked - no fair! :) As for my fasting, it's a rotating fast plan, so it does go earlier and earlier, but not for long. It's also the only thing I've been truly successful at losing weight on. I lost 20 pounds this way a couple years ago. Plus, I'm a nighttime eater, so this plan helps correct that nasty habit. |
| from paintingrock : |
| Kittens are not stupid or annoying!! They're awsome! I love them! I wish I had one :) But I have two cats. When they die I will geta kitten. But for the moment I have to have the old cats feel like they're all that matters. Lol kittens have so much energy and they're so tiny. Oh but I way love puppies better! :) They feel so nice! Also, we fuckign done fro walking!!! I can't belive you're actually gonna do it :) That's brilliant. The first step to a healthy nd happy mind, definantly. And, I assume a thrift store is an op shop? If it is, your clothes are wayyyyyyy over priced! We have op shops everywhere here, except I must admit their prices have gone up a bit too, cos it has become trendy to shop at them. Which is stupid, because they're getting too expensive for the people that actually need the stuff in there. I sent you an email also :) Peace bro |
| from enurta : |
| you are NOT worthless. don't ever say that. <3 |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Ew! I hate lice. I had them several times when I was a kid-- we went to a public school where lice was rampant. I remember the intense itching and then how my mom would have to pick every bug and egg from my hair and my sister's hair with that lice comb. So not cool. I hope your root canals go smoothly... |
| from enurta : |
| I know sweetie! and you did make me feel better. i love you. *hugs* |
| from enurta : |
| I know that you're only supposed to weigh yourself in the morning, without clothes, after you pee. I do that. but I can help but to weigh myself after every purge - just to make sure that I am not gaining any weight. I know the the 'normal' thing to do is to weigh yourself only once a week but....I can't do that...I need to make sure that I am losing. I need to become my old self again. |
| from deathbytears : |
| i am indeed using that email address. and sorry about your teeth :( *hugs* xxx |
| from kelms28 : |
| woah, that sounds really sucky, i sorry. people like that just..ugh..make me so pissed. but cool, id like to read up a bit. my email is the same as my user name on diaryland, [email protected]. thanks a bunch! |
| from pamperedpuma : |
| Hey hunny...have you changed your password? Cxx |
| from kelms28 : |
| You never did, I just liked your user name and I didn't know it was locked til after. I'll take you off my list if you want. |
| from deathbytears : |
| can i have the new pw please? :) hope you're ok. xxxxxx |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Life was total stress because of work. I was working 32 hrs a week, 6 days a week... I was exhausted every day. Plus I'm having major med side effects-- increased bladder problems, heart problems still, and now severe hot flashes. I hate having to be on medication. It really sucks. Ziggy is a cool name, I like it! I am sorry you are not doing so well. :( |
| from tttragic : |
| it's not even like we were ever together, it was just a really fucked up situation. it sucks though, we were really, really close and then he just disappeared out of my life. i dont even know. |
| from comebacktome : |
| LMAO - freebie! Ahahahah you literally made me laugh at loud, thanks for that sweetie. Stress has decreased somewhat, so I am not climbing the walls to such a degree- and I'm about to have an extra long long weekend so I should be chilled by Monday. Glad to know I'm not the only one who turns evil in times of stress! xo |
| from paintingrock : |
| Yeah of course I'm back. She threatens me all the time, about moving out. She's done it since I was like, 10 years old. I never end up going though. I walk out and she always calls me back etc. But this time I just left. Who gives a fuck. She still hasn't appoligised. Oh well. Haley throws up too? I gotta piss off now. Friday night and I got a farquad load of homework to do xxxxx |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I love the name Asa! Sugar gliders, from what I have read, are awesome pets-- so loving and friendly when well socialized! Phoebe is another hamster, yes. And my myspace has probably been hacked, as I haven't logged on in about two years. I named Phoebe. None of my animals came pre-named except for Buddy. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| From reading the comments people have left, it looks like you are not doing so well. *hugs* Sorry I have been gone. I am doing okay. Life's just been a little nuts around here. |
| from paintingrock : |
| why do you and haley shake? |
| from paintingrock : |
| Call the suggar glider "suggar glider number four," seeing as you now have four. Why do you have them anyway? Why aren't they in the trees far away from humans? Your BMI is ment to be 40, but you are 41.. Duude, that's ONE over. I am like one over aswell, and I'm fine. The whole BMI system is fucked anyway. It doens't take into account muscle, bone or organ mass. It assumes everyone has the perfect and same amunt of muscle, bone and organ. Therefore, assuming that whatever is outside of the number; is fat. Maintaining your weight, eating healthy and exercising is the only way to give ya a healthy body and mind. Scales and bullshit BMI calcutations aren't. If you want gastric banding, come here. Kevin bloody Rud is gonna pay for all the overweight people to get it lol. What a dickhead. Love you xxx |
| from enurta : |
| scales are over-rated. i got sick again after I bought a scale. N made me throw the old one out i think 1,5 years ago. then i got a new one a couple of months ago. and now...i am binging and purging every day again because i want to lose the weight i gained. so...it's okay to own a scale, of course but...what im trying to say is be careful... |
| from deathbytears : |
| i still read :) xxx |
| from enurta : |
| wow. sugar gliders are cool! I just googled 'sugar glider' and read about them....seems like a cool animal. I wish I could buy one but there are illegal to keep as a pet here in sweden. but maybe that will change. i dunno. love you babe! xxx |
| from enurta : |
| what kind of animal is that? |
| from paintingrock : |
| Yeah the rinsing thing that the girl below me said to do, will definantly help. But to be honest, you actually have quite good teeth. I was born with a clef palat and have been going to a densit all my life. Sometimes twice a week. You'd think that my teeth would be perfect from this, but they're not. They're pretty average. They're straight and all, and I occasionally whiten them (but it makes my teeth really sensitive. even hair and saliva makes them sore sometimes) and they have a few gaps. My enamel is shit, most of it is gone. Anyway.. what was my point? I dunno. But see a dentist. He/she should put some sealers on some of your teeth and maybe some fillings. But root canals do some serious damage if left unattended. The bactiria spreads through the body and all heall breaks lose. Your teeth are straight though, be thankful =) Love you |
| from enurta : |
| oh sweetie. you have to see a dentist. and a tip from me; after you purge rinse your mouth with fluoride for one minute. and then don't eat or drink for an hour. it helps. i've been purging for 10 years but my teeth are fine because I always rinse with fluoride. *hugs* |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Hi! I'm so sorry for not keeping in touch or writing. How have you been? I'm so out of touch, help! My username is broken my pword is kd10. What're yours? |
| from enurta : |
| no he didn't get mad, but he felt hurt because I lied to him.... |
| from enurta : |
| You should try to quit while you still can. I�ve been smoking for two years too. You won�t gain if you�re careful. xxx |
| from enurta : |
| no we're not getting along. i don't talk to her unless i have too. how many years have you been a smoker? xxx |
| from enurta : |
| sorry about what you're going through. but you know, you can EAT and still LOSE WEIGHT. have you tried that? stupid question i know but starving yourself will only lead to hospitals. you don't want to end up there do you? love you babe. xxx |
| from tttragic : |
| I won't. It's just very strange, after not talking to him for over a year. I miss him so much, but I'm not tryin' to have him back in my life, because it'll only fuck up my current relationship. thanks, girl :) |
| from tttragic : |
| Aw thanks :) How have you been? You should give me your password! |
| from razorblade-- : |
| user: roast xword: beef |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I cook and bake as a hobby. I enjoy making new food creations and trying out new recipes, even if they don't turn out for some reason. That was one weird dream you had! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| P.S. I'm glad you did not cut. I'm proud of you. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Sorry I've been absent for awhile. Just want you to know that I am the EXACT same way when it comes to the whole "my life is generally shitty, so when it gets better, I freak out" issue. I still have a problem with sabotaging my own recovery. No fun. |
| from hotpinkhopes : |
| actually it was The Game. and i just lost again. lol but thanks and yea i know it's no biggie i don't want to be with my ex for many reasons. i think i lost the butterflies because of other things going on. =/ thanks for taking some time to read my diary. =] ~ renie |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Anorexicmeg left this note for me: "Everyone has their opinions...thus, I would not delete your opinion. I guess, I feel the way I do b/c I was bi once and it was just a phase. I have friends who are gay n they say it is by choice. I don't feel gay people should be treated the way they r. That was not what I meant in my blog. I'm sorry if you took it that way." It's just... lame. She was obviously NOT truly bi once, and is it even possible to be truly gay by choice? Seems to me that if they chose to be gay, then they'd be bisexual. Big difference there. Stupid people. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I hope you made it through your cutting urges okay! I know how hard they can be to get through. |
| from enurta : |
| i am okay. i get psychotic every now and then, but i can handle it. N helps me a lot. tom too. it's good that you trust your doctors, that's great. it took years for me to find a doctor I could trust. psychosis means losing grip of reality. yeah i've been inlove with a girl, she was my best friend and I fell inlove with her. i still love her, but i am not inlove. she was the first person I loved. but then i met N and everything changed. *hugs* |
| from roamany : |
| I lost your user/pass. E-mail to me pretty please :) [email protected]. Love you-m |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Man, that anorexicmeg girl is STUPID. Just... stupid. She has no contact info on her diary, though, not even notes, so I can't tell her how I feel about her utter stupidity. |
| from enurta : |
| sorry for leaving a note again but you should just ignore that stupid ignorant person. maybe she doesn't understand, maybe she was raised to believe that homosexual people are bad. i was raised that way too, and when I was younger, I believed in that bullshit. now I'm an adult and I know better. you do not choose who you fall inlove with. i have also been inlove with a girl. that changed everything for me. so please, just ignore her. she probably brainwashed or she's trying to provoke people. |
| from enurta : |
| There is no such thing as mild schizophrenia. Either you�re schizophrenic or you�re not. If you have it, you are stamped for life. And that is not something I like. If your doctor says you suffer from borderline then she�s probably right. Do you trust him/her? Do you tell that person everything? If not, you should. It takes more than hearing voices to get a schizophrenia diagnosis. It�s very complicated. There are 3 types of schizophrenia, I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia. You can read more about it on the internet. And about what happened�I don�t know why, I was psychotic, I don�t remember anything. Do you know what psychosis is? It�s okay not to know. You can ask me anything sweetie. *hugs* |
| from enurta : |
| thank god you're okay. i hope you don't think all people who are schizophrenic go around killing people. most of us don't. hugs |
| from comebacktome : |
| Aaaah my diaryland buddy, you have been missed!!! I was getting worried something bad had happened! I will catch you up on whatever you wish to know my sweet, just ask xoxo |
| from razornotes00 : |
| G'day kido =) Good to hear from you again. Was beginning to think you slipped from the face of the Earth. Anyhow, don't be nervous about wall mart. Getting a job is the best thing you can do for yourself and the world right now. And wall mart will be good; it's easy to learn the things you have to do and you're with your local community mostly. I hope ya get it darl =) That's wach how they both had friggen heart attacks man.. what was it caused by? How do I delete my diaries to star another one? no button for it... or I'm just retarded. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I missed you. Thanks for the u/p. How are you doing? |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Girl, where the fuck were you for so long?! I missed you. It's been so long since you've updated that I've forgotten your username/password. Could you email it to me? My new email is [email protected]. |
| from deathbytears : |
| i got him in december :) he's nearly 4 months old. i'm ok now, i just can't eat (still not complaining though! i've got full-fat coke, which is good for now). gah i gotta go get another drink! xxxxxxxxxxxxx |
| from chalkstain : |
| jesus, way to worry a girl danielle. thank fuck you're alright though, seriously. hopefully things are doing alright for ya sweetheart. i'm actually doing alright thanks petal, life's moving on i guess. hope you can say the same <3 |
| from enurta : |
| I found your password in my e-mail. nevermind. im glad you're okay...why didn't u update for so long? *hugs* |
| from enurta : |
| I've lost your username and password. can u e-mail it to me? please. i've been really worried about you�. |
| from deathbytears : |
| i'll do a general timeline for you in my diary, of my life since you were away :) haha i'm so bored... and can you pleaseplease chane the comment about my diary on your profile? i just don't want my name linked to the name of my dland... xxxxxxx |
| from deathbytears : |
| i'm so happy you're back! i missed you, i was worried for ages... *hug* and congrats on getting your own place! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
| from pamperedpuma : |
| Yay! You're back :) I've forgotten the password though :( Cxx |
| from chalkstain : |
| six fucking months, danielle. be alright <3 |
| from enurta : |
| where are you? I miss you and I'm worried about you! please, send an e-mail or something so I know you're alive. love you. <3 |
| from chalkstain : |
| where've you gone, little lady? have an awesome christmas x |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Oh, good! I miss you! |
| from chalkstain : |
| oh, thank god you're okay. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Why can't you talk to Angel for two years? |
| from enurta : |
| why can't you talk to angel? *hugs* |
| from xeison : |
| i need to talk to you, when you get a chance. Um, but as far as them saying that she is not allowed to communicate wtih you, i do not understand how they can do that? You are above 18 and have the rights of the First Amendment to speak with whom you wish, so if you want to communicate with her, which i am assuming you still do, but if you do not, i am sorry for assuming, i do not think they can legally block you from doing so? |
| from xeison : |
| i have been ok, i just ended up with some trouble. How have you been doing? Also, may i ask how Angel has been? And, did you change the user and password for this diary? i love you and hope that you have been ok. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Sorry you've got to move in with Linda. I'll miss you! |
| from luxelady : |
| i know i just started reading you, but i'll miss you. i hope you're ok. please keep in touch if you can...*hugs* luxe |
| from deathbytears : |
| i'll miss you too. keep safe. xxxx |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I think it is good that you are trying to be healthy. Don't give up on health! I don't know if it's that people do not care, or if it's that they are busy or do not check their diary often enough. Oooh, unmedicated bipolar people can be scary. Where are you going to be moving to again? I can't remember. I cannot wait to begin running again next week! My shin splints are pretty much gone, there is zero pain now. Yay! I am going to restart that couch-to-5k program I had been doing. This time I have actual running shoes, which should help tremendously. I would suggest doing yoga. It's gentle and easy on your back. I love it, it's so relaxing. They have dvds you can buy in stores. |
| from luxelady : |
| it isn't stupid at all for you to try - you're trying to stay healthy, and there isn't anything wrong with that. even if you feel like you aren't doing it for you. if you have the result of improving yourself and giving yourself health, then i don't think the motivation is as important as we make it seem. (((hugs))) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Don't worry, mothers just do that. It's kind of their job, and it's a good thing (to act like nothing happend). It may seen like she's just denying being angry at you, but more than likely she has genuinly forgotten or let it go. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I know getting wasted wouldn't be fun... I just crave that escape from reality. Thanks for sharing your experiences with me, they help me to stay away from the booze during urge periods. I had no idea alcohol could make somebody anxious... that's good to know! And hey, I always appreciate you responding to my blog posts. Most people from d-land don't regularly take the time to check out my blog. It's pretty much you and lovelynight. I love you too. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Sorry you're going through so much shit with Amanda... |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I don't think you're a scary person. You have problems that are scary to other people who don't understand them. Those are two very different things. |
| from luxelady : |
| hey. we have a couple diary friends in common - i was wondering if i could have your PW? i've seen some of your notes and you seem like a cool person. if not - that's fine too... |
| from ethereal-red : |
| So Linda's addicted to the xanax and klonopin? That wouldn't surprise me at all. I hope I can get the Vistaril or something similar to it. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Why are you scary? You don't scare me. I know the feeling of looking in the mirror and wishing all the fat away. It's depressing. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Georgia is so cute! :) I am a catastrophic thinker too. I always worry about the worst things possible happening. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I know, I hate it when people ask if I'm pregnant, but I don't have the guts to be a smartass to them! I wish I could at least give them a dirty look or something. Oh, I am so glad you don't have an aneurysm! That would have been sooo scary! Next time you're with Georgia, do take a picture. :) -*+93 |
| from chalkstain : |
| ugh. i've been trying to remember your password for days now. my computer died and it's memory was wiped. so, care to indulge me again please sweetheart? happy summer, sunshine ♥ |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I'm glad whatever it was came out perfect! What was going on again? I'm totally blanking out. You're having some f-ed up dreams! Georgia sounds adorable! I love it when little kids take a liking to me. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Well, I just say, "I'm not pregnant" and leave it at that. Then they apologize profusely. I hope my physician can help me, too. Too bad I have to wait until September... |
| from ethereal-red : |
| No they are from me running in old walking shoes. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Shin splints are tiny tears in the muscle and sometimes the ligaments that surround the shin bone. They can be quite painful, as mine are. My birthday was actually the 4th of July. We just celebrated it on Tuesday because I was gone on vacation over my birthday. I am 23 now. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Sorry Jayna was such a bitch. That really sucks. :( |
| from enurta : |
| and please don't starve. you are beautiful the way you are. if you want to lose weight, just eat healthy foods. i know i'm a hypocrite, because that is what I should do but....for what it's worth, that is my advice to you. |
| from enurta : |
| I'm overweight. I haven't lost any weight at all. I've just been gaining and gaining for a year now. it sucks ass. but things will change. i am hopeful. thanks for caring about me. you mean so much to me, danielle! I wish you were here so I could hug you <3 |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Thanks for the condolences about the job, and yeah, I was really sick! Major diarrhea goin' on. Yuck. I was sick Wednesday, and it happened again on Friday. It was soooo gross! I feel much better now. :) Well, except for the wicked sunburn I have. |
| from deathbytears : |
| lol got the code wrong. maybe this is right? ♥ |
| from deathbytears : |
| congratulations. :) &hearts |
| from enurta : |
| thanks for your note. i love you too! i don't think he would really cheat on me...but he cannot forget what I did. it doesn't matter how many times I tell him that it wasn't me and that I remember almost nothing. he still shoves it in my face everytime we fight. 'you cheated on me! at least I haven't cheated on you! I'd never do that! but you did!' yada yada :( |
| from deathbytears : |
| yeah, that's pretty much the plan... hope it works. i had better eating at school as well, because i had a routine, a timetable- now half the time i don't know what to do with myself. xxxxx |
| from deathbytears : |
| i don't plan on losing a certain amount. it didn't seem to work, i'll just eat the same as i am eating now, and that will get me down to a certain weight, and then i'll stay there because that amount of energy coming in and going out will be ight for that weight. so... weight and see. lol, that was so bad... um, i think i've lost 2-3 pouns so far, it's difficult to tell because i always weigh different amounts at different times of the day, so i'm nopt even sure what my starting point was. but if i use my lowest starting point and my lowet point now, then it's about 2 1/2 pounds, i think, but still mostly guesswork. it's nothing, i know, but i have to start low to get good :) and i feel like i might actually suceed this time, it's easier to do it in sumemrtime, as i have to drink loads of water anyway, and it's hot so i don't want to eat as much. well i better go and do something productive! see you! xxxxxx |
| from pamperedpuma : |
| Hey. Can I have the new password please?! My email is [email protected] or you can get me on myspace www.myspace.com/carley1985 <p> Cxx |
| from skinny--girl : |
| of course part of me wants to be disordered - there is a seductiveness in the illusion of control. you know that if you've been there. it's foolish to think part of us doesn't want that, long for it...the simple joy of focusing everything on food in, calories out. the satisfaction of a COE binge. anyway. if you read through my journal, you'll get a better understanding of where i've come from and where i'm at, i think. unless i deleted all those old entries. i can't remember ;) |
| from annaisana : |
| www.myspace.com/leave_x_4the_guilt |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I didn't change my number, so text away! :) One of my friends just confided in me that she is a lesbian. I felt so honored that she would share that information with me! She's just coming out, so I know it must have been difficult. It sure was hard for me when I came out as being bisexual. Mostly I was worried that people would think I'm a poser, when I'm not at all. |
| from deathbytears : |
| he sounds idiotic. but, there might be stuff you don't know about. not stuff that would excuse it, just explin why he sas stuf like that. like, i was once tlaking to a teacher about self harm (the subject just came up) and she was being quite open-minded and not dismissing it as immature and stupid, like a lot of teacher do, and i said "it's just stupid. people who do it are stupid because it's not exactly going to solve depression to be covered in scars, is it?" i didn't believe any of what i said, and i acted very narrow-minded and unsympathetic and actually pretty stupidly, i was over compensating to cover my own back. maybe he's doing something similar. if not, then he really is being an idiot. just try to keep it out of the conversation- "never argue with an idiot. they will drag you down to their level, then beat you with years of experience". not sure who said that, but it's pretty true for now lmao. also, very very very well done for not puking, and then handling it so well with the medicine. i'm so proud of you it gives me a little warm glow inside :) got to go to bed now, it's 1.15 am. love ou, xxxxxx |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Wow, that was a fucked up dream! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Whoops, I'm dumb. I didn't even bother to check my email account before I left you that note! Thanks for the u/p! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I don't know which email account you check anymore, so just send me an email with your new u/p. It's [email protected]. |
| from enurta : |
| can you e-mail me the new user/pass please? why do you keep changing it? :( |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Thank you. :) I hope I get the job too! I'd like your new password, I will send you an email. |
| from skinny--girl : |
| thanks, and yeah, i've wanted to be a psychologist for a long time. for now no specialty, i'll figure that out in grad school. |
| from idieinside : |
| Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave me a note ;) I would like to say that I enjoy reading yours as well, but it's locked. And this is where I: a) start a new sentence with a conjunction b) ask for a username/password so I can begin the literary journey that I know your diary holds the key to. |
| from annaisana : |
| hm, a year and a half maybe. not long at all. i started off at 153 now i'm at 119. |
| from writergrrl88 : |
| My diaryland is just an old archive -- do you have an LJ name? |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I'm sorry the cat died, and am sorry that you have a lump on your ass that hurts really bad! Is it like a cyst or something? I'd suggest going to the hospital and getting it opened up, just get it over with so you can heal and then not be in pain anymore. |
| from anainsight : |
| I'll give you the new password - e-mail me at zippityfeets (at) yahoo (dot) com, OK? |
| from skinny--girl : |
| thanks for the note. i'm so glad someone get it :) it sounds so crazy to write. but yes, that's exactly it, if i'm unhappy, no one can take my happiness away. the mind is a funny, funny thing, ain't it? |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Oh, and I don't have bones anywhere either. It's sooo frustrating! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| The smoothies are amazing indeed. :) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| So what happends now?? ...with the appointment? Do you get to book it again? ..omg.. how weird. It's the complete oposite in Perth today. today was absolutely freezing. It takes a lot to make me really cold (I am usually always cold because of my low bp) but today I was shivvering practically all day, and so was the rest of the friggen school. Yeah it's weird how we can eat a small amount and be totally stuffed. I like being like that, but in public, it's a bit annoying because people rekon I am lying about being full. Not once this year have I been able to finish an entire apple, because they make me so full. Apples always do that, and so does cucumber and cereals, breads and lettus. And yeah, if ya wouldn't mind; I'd like to know more about the other entry in x-razor-x =) NAh, I don't take it personally (the letter). I mean, we talk on here a bit and I know you're busy. It's all good =) I weighed myself tonight.. I have put on 3kg. I feel really crappy. Today I felt thin... and then BAM I actually got fatter. Tomorrow I will be good. Listen to my myspace song =) It's radicallll lol. Hm. Well, I love you deary. You're such a special girl. Good on ya for not getting really "black woman gone crazy" about Haley getting upset I am glad you worked it out. Woot it's her birthday on the 31st =) Anyway, it's nearly 11pm and I have school tomorrow. I love you xoxoox |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Catherine's pretty. So are you! And, no, I won't overdo the running. It's hard enough to do the program as it is! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I will take my meds from now on. I normally do. Yesterday was kind of a fluke. Vegetarianism rocks! I love it. I'm glad you are going to be getting some healthy food in the house. |
| from deathbytears : |
| nope, i shan't go crazy with it. you know i know that it won't work if i do. :) xx |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Oh, and forgive me for contradicting what Georgia is telling you to do regarding the food, but eating tons of meat and eggs (although I support the veggies part of what she was saying) isn't going to help you lose weight. Meat, except for possibly fish, is fatty. Eggs? Loaded with saturated fat. Cheese is even worse in terms of fat content. I know I'm being biased here since I'm vegetarian, but it really has been proven that a diet based off of whole grains, beans, legumes, fresh fruit and vegetables is the most healthful diet on which to lose weight. I'm not saying go vegan-- I still eat eggs on a rare occasion and also occasionally a little bit of cheese-- but do watch what animal products you consume. Just my two cents. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Wow, that dream seems incredibly significant. I wish I had dreams that I could derive meaning from. Mine are all just crazy and shit. :) I hope you can get that car!!! That would be awesome!!! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I am glad I made you happy with what I said in my entry =) and I really love the background you put up for me. It's really nice. I love the picture of the lady...and that's not just cos I like ladies lol :P Haha nah, I don't get horny much. In fact, it's the opposite. It takes a special person or material to do it for me. I guess, with Aaron, I used to get a bit "horny" (there must be a more cooth word for that I swear?!!?!) and he made me feel good, then when I got a bit screwed up.. I guess my whole life changed and I just stopped. Being horny stopped. I never got horny with Katie, and I never got horny with the others, except for like 2 seconds. I swear that's all it is. It get butterflies and then it stops. Ohhhh I do tend to get a bit wacky when I drink a lot though, but then when I actually do stuff when I am drunk; it's not satisfying. Lol I am hard to please I guess. What about you?????? Hm.. Angel has put herself in this jail situation... I beleive it would be wise for her to re-think and re-evaluate herself and her life while she is in jail, activly..causing a positive and workable outcome. She is being rediclious if she thinks she can lay the blame and sympathy game on you, or anyone else. She was warned, and she...HERSELF... knows the laws of America, and she has to obey them, regardless of horomes. Did she not even think about the effect this has had on Micheal? (or will have). Anyway. She needs to accept what she's doen and where she is. She shouldn't EXPECT you to find her, write to her, be with her after all this. Sure, I know you will, but the expectation she's holding is unreasonable. annnnnnnnnnnnnnns no, I wasn't eating a lot or not enough the days coming up to my tummy hurting. I was eating a little less than noraml. but not starving. My body is used to it and it's the cause. I think it's just a bug that's come with my flu/cold. It's really weird, because it was only 2-3 weeks ago that I just had a cold.. My colds usually last 3 weeks, and I will only have one for a year. Sometimes two. But I have had 3 this year and blah. Whatever. I supose I need to eat more meat. Anyway. You don't need to stress about writting me a letter. It'll happen when it happends. Don't force it lovey =) OH! and about the wanting to be healthy stuff... I am so happy that you are aware that being healthy is really goinng to solve issues. Being skinny won't. But when you're healthy and ya body is in top condition, the way you feel and act to others and yourself is greater, which makes other areas of life magically become easier, or more workable =) Really, just don't stresss about making a whole fucking life style change ATM, just eat MORRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE vegies, more meat, more eggs, and more healthy stuff. The candy and whatever else that you eat, is fiine, but if your diet is goign to moslty goign consist of it, you need to over-ride it with vegies, meat and blah blah. Your body needs the nurishment, not only to repair damage from the past, but to help for the future aswell. Force yourself to eat lots. It will nuish and flush out toxins in your body and make you loose weight fast, then after, when you notice results, you can start some light walking etc. Yeha.. It's just the fattness/body image shit that stops me from participating in life. It always has. Anyway. Love you darl xoxoxoxoxo |
| from deathbytears : |
| he's not! never say that! :P lol. i heard him on his phone, he was very polite and sweet and friendly. haha, you always say "douchebag". i've heard it on an american film, but i've never heard an english person say it, ever. it's such a funny word! i nearly used it the other day, though! i was like "no, mustn't say it, it's actually pretty rude". lol. yes, i am still going to marry him, there is no one who could ever match up to him, ever. AND he was a bit TALLER than me :) quite a few boys aren't, and i'd hate that. good luck with the food thing. just drink lots and lots of water. and talk to someone while you're eating, so you eat slower and then you'll notice when you're full. though i do know that that's not really the problem. sorry. i gotta go now, love you. xxxxxx |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Living in a house full of junk food is like a death trap when one is trying to lose weight. I know you don't have any control over the food situation, though, I mean, what gets bought and what doesn't. I had to rid my house of almost all junk food, otherwise I'd just eat it all the time. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| My dietician recommends 1200 calories a day and a good 30-45 mn of exercise 3 to 4 times a week. 1200 cals is as low as you can go while still eating enough to be healthy. Also, watch your carb intake, especially junk food. Just some suggestions. |
| from comebacktome : |
| aww shanks xo |
| from enurta : |
| you look beautiful! and I think your hair looks great! love you *hugs* |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I try to remember that... that if I stop eating, and then start again sometime in the future, it'll only mess me up even more. You can get to 120. Will it take awhile? Yes. But can you do it? Yes. I know you're determined. I know you really, really want this. And it is totally possible. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| No, it didn't make me feel worse. It's okay. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| As for cutting... Well, I cut (past tense) to feel in control of my emotions and/or to punish myself. Before, I'd feel terrible... and afterwards, I felt even worse. The sadness, guilt and shame just piled on. But there was that few minutes of total numbness that I craved. Now I know that the numbness only lasted a couple minutes max towards the end of my cutting career... and it's not worth the intense emotional pain I felt afterwards. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Not eating gave me a huge rush- the "anorexic high" B/P'ing numbed me out and the purging made me feel "cleaner" When I eat, I feel like a pig, even though I have not binged in a year. It makes me feel ashamed and guilty. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Oh, you asking questions doesn't bother me. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I used to b/p a few times a week. I hope the med switch works too. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Yes, it is always the hardest when nobody would be able to see or hear you b/p. That's when I used to b/p when I lived at my parents house, or just b sometimes... at night, when everybody else is asleep. I am so proud of you for not doing it! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I'm glad Nikki stepped in and saved the day. That's awesome. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Ya know, it's the weirdest thing-- last night, I had my phone on my bedside table. I had a feeling somebody might call me. You could have called, and I would have been happy to answer the phone! What was going on? |
| from enurta : |
| here's a pic of my friends tattoo; http://u.helgon.net/g/%7B7B9/%7B7B9BF532-8276-47C5-912B-72DEF27882E7%7D.jpg |
| from ethereal-red : |
| He is 24. I am 22, almost 23. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I do eventually want to have a relationship with a woman. I want that badly. Tony was a really big surprise in my life, I wasn't expecting to date another man, but then he came along and things drastically changed. Wow. I'm still trying to grasp how all this fell into place. He came back into my life like, out of nowhere, and now we're dating and I like him a lot. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I am so sorry that the cops were so mean. That's terrible. Cops think they have so much power... |
| from enurta : |
| I've seen that tattoo before! I friend of mine has that exact picture tattooed on his stomach. but it would look better on the wrist I think :) *hugs* |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Oh, and that tattoo rocks. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| That damn Seroquel. When I was on it, I was constantly hungry! I ate and ate and ate. And slept. That was about it. It was terrible. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Yep. I see my psychiatrist on Tuesday. I'm going to talk to him about it then and see what his opinion is about me getting a reduction in the Remeron specifically. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Yes, it's more than likely the meds. That's the only thing we can think of that's getting in the way, other than my ridiculously slow metabolism. |
| from deathbytears : |
| lol. it's ok. they've grown back, luckily. :P |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I'm not supposed to take weight loss supplements of any kind, including the tea-based ones. That particular supplement I was talking about contains something very similar to ephedra, which is terrible for you. Taking a weight loss supplement like that is considered an eating disorder behavior. So, you know, I'm not supposed to take them. It's just not a good idea. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| �I don't care if you say that stuff in your diary. Well, I CARE, but it's YOUR diary, and you have every right to say whatever you want in it...I just wish you would say it TO me...does that make any sense?...� Are you talking about me telling you that I am fat? or are you talking about that I should've said that I should be able to write whatever in my diary, to you? If that's it, just so you know, it wasn't aimed only at you. I am sorry if I made it sound like it was directed at just you, and I suppose I could've been softer in my tone. I thought I was being assertive. Are you ok about it? Can I make it better somehow? I love you. Um, well, atm the whole Katie thing is totally confusing and I haven't written about it in any diary because it's hard to exaplin, and I would just get even more angry. She appogised to me through a text on Tuesday, after she accused me of egnoring her among other things, and then I said it was ok, and then she said that she hadn't been being herself and that she was also sorry for that and that she would promise she would start being herself, and I said " ok. make sure of it then." And since then we haven't spoken. When she stayed over univited on the weekend when I was having drinks with Kate (my best mate) she invited two of her friends over and she drank half the bottle of vodka that my mum bought Kate and I, and she slit the air matress that cost my mum $200 that I set up for her to sleep on, and she also pulled the bathroom door handle off and threw up outside in lots of different places, and she went into the shower and showerd herself for literally, 20min before I flung open the door and started yelling at her to get out and that I would call her mum, and she didn't, so I turned off the taps and she turned them back on and I turned it back off again and gave her some towels and she took them and wet them all on porpose with the shower. So I turned the lights off (because she was naked, and I didn't want to see her, nor would she want me to see her) and pushed the curtin back and grabbed her shoulders (a little bit too hard I must say..) and picked her up and put her on the floor and I dried her with another towel and I put on of my shirts over her and I carried her to the office and laid her down on the matress. Which she slit in the morning.. I had to tell my mum that I broke the door handle and that I did that to the bed because my mum would litterally go to her house and abuse her mother and Katie.. But yeah, that was just that night that she stayed univited. And she knew she wasn't invited because I told her that it was just kate and I and I kept asking when she was going home and she wouldn't answer me. She had already stayed two nights in a row before this. turns out her mum didn't even know she was at my house in the first place. She isn't a wild child..she doesn't yell or throw thing or get aggressive. She's just tottally fucked up. So devious and cruel. And weird. She's weird beyond weird. I am not joking. That's what she's known for at school, and I knew that,but I didn't believe it. I thought that one on one she'd be normal, but she's not. One on one she just expressed her self hatred. It's scary. Dylan has been helping me be ok with all the things she's done to me (yeah I make it sound so dramatic..but there's more to it), and the way she is in general. Remeber how I used to think I had a crush on Dylan? and then it stopped and Katie came along? It didn't just stop because she came along. I never wrote about it. But yeah. We're so close these days. We know pretty much everything about eachother, and we're totally different people, yet we accept eachother and get along really well. He says that he loves me all the time. Soemtimes he gets carried away and flirts and all that shit, but I know that he has feelings for a girl called Clair (we talked about it ages ago) and he's basically in love with her, and I don't want to flirt with him back, knowing that it's not real. So I tell him, everytime he does, that he shouldn't and that I am not going to do it back. It works, so that's good. I am glad that I don't have a crush on him anymore, because we have become really good friends, and I concider him my best friend at school. My only other best friend at school would be Laura. I told you that about Dylan because I haven't written it in my diary and you might've been lost with it or whatever. It kinda feels good to get that off my chest, so I knwo you understand now. I was gonna do an entry, but I am happy talkign to you now, so I'll keep doing it =) I hope you're still reading though.. lol. I am really bloated atm and my stomach actually hurts because if it. I had too much dinner. My nana and pop came over for dinner tonight because Aunty Jann was cooking and mum wasn't home, but my pop was drunk (he's an alcoholic..but only drinks when he's stressed out or think he's gonna die soon..he thinks every day is his last though. He used to drink more thna he does now though). I knew he had been drinking from the second I saw him. Years of experience. He was so drunk that he actually had a conversation with me at the dinner table. My nanan cried and I felt so bad. I wanted to run away, but I just put my head down and kept eating.. My nana was yelling at pop to hurry up and finish eating, and to stop talking to me. Nanna asked if we would drive them home, because she didn't want him to be drunk and drive, so we did. When we got out of the car to walk home (I only live a 10min walk away from my nanna) my pop put his hand out for the car keys, and my aunty yelled at him and went on about how she didn't respect him. I stood close to my pop, because I know that life's hard for him.. and I know noone understands that it is.. but I put my head down to make sure it didn't look like I was taking sides.. Then my aunty walked off, and my pop said "You'll pay for this" to my nanna, and he followed her inside. We called my nana when we got home to see if she wanted to stay the night. She said no, and that she was fine. I want to cry. gah. I want to cry for hours in someone's arms. The trouble is; my eyes are as fuckin dry as the land I live on. I think maybe that's why I hurt myself.. I can't cry as often as I need to so I replace it with harming myself? I don't know. I'll be fine, I won't hurt myself. I'll be over it by the morning. I feel like I just need time away from everyone. ..just want to sleep. Katie is talkign to me atm. I asked her how she has been going and she replied "I loveit when you pretend to care." Fucking hell. I thought she'd have her act together by now. I think she's pissed off because I didn't talk to her for like, 2 days or something. But she could've spoken to me anytime. She say all the timesI have been online when she has been. I am tired. I feel like I will collapse. My mum will be home in 40mins, form work. I miss her so much.. Yeah I know; lame. but I am so distant from her. I hate that she thinks I am bad, for taking the blame for Katie. I want to go to school now. I want it to be 9am in the morning and we're all doing work and I can be distracted. I can't wait till monday. I cut my hair last night, just to get rid of the split ends.. but I went a bit nuts and cut too much and now I look rediculus. I have a bowl cut, basically. I saw a really good hair cut today. I think I am gonna ask mum if I can get it done (professionally)..even though I swore to her this morning that I would grow my hair. I look so nice with long hair.. I do.. but I just can't grow it. I am obsessed with cutting it. I know i look stupid. Show me the hair cut that you want to get! =) I want to see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and nikki.. I do believe you about her. I belive you. I believe she does exist. and I am glad she told you that you and Haley are gonna be fine. She seems rather useful lol =) But won't she get mean? anyway, tell me about it, ok? Well, I am gonna go now. Thanks for reading. Thanks for being my friend. I love you so much. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| So... that haircut would look SWEET on you! I think you should totally get it. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Well, I sure hope lowering the Remeron won't mess it all up. If it does, well, I'll call my doctor right away and make an emergency appointment. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I'm glad Lochia was proud of you. I sure am! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I was constantly hungry when I was on Seroquel. Zyprexa, too, made me gain a shitload of weight. It sucked. I see my doctor on the 17th and I am going to ask if I can have my Remeron reduced (it's an anti-depressant, but I'm on Paxil, too, so my ass is covered there) a little because I think it's hindering my weight loss. It normally causes weight gain. Yuck! |
| from enurta : |
| yeah i've heard that seroquel makes you gain weight. but so does my antipsychotic zeldox. but taking meds is important, fuck the weight gain. I've gained like 60 pounds. but fuck it :/ |
| from enurta : |
| I have no idea what their deal is. they were friends before but now they hate each other. yes almost everyone knows about my eating disorder. i don't do much to hide it. *hugs* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| was that you on the floor laughing? or were you holding the camera? Cut your own fucking hair!!! lmao who the hell goes to a hair dresser these days? Dude, I haven't gone in over 2 years, and I cut my hair all the time, and it's good =) It is just hair, so if it fucks up, it'll gorw out eventually. I had a dream that I got hair extensions last night, and seriously, I looked fantastic lol. I was thin and my skin was hella clear and I was looking so natural and perfect. HA! ...so not like what I really look like. Hm. I just ate soup =) I love you =) I can't wait to visit you =) |
| from enurta : |
| don't worry, you'll move in together eventually, you are both still young, you have your whole lives ahead of you :) love you babe! weird dream you had about me btw. haha :D |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Thanks, sweetie. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I ended up throwing caution to the wind because it was so humid... I just wore the stupid dress without anything over it. It went okay, actually. :) Still hate my upper arms, though. Oh, plus, my aunt said I looked "healthy", which I know she meant in a positive context, because the last time she saw me I was pretty sick-looking. I took it the wrong way and automatically thought "fat". Yuck. |
| from deathbytears : |
| i can't find you... :( too many people with the same name. can you add me? i'm the only person on facebok with my name! lmao. you know my surname, right? x x x x |
| from deathbytears : |
| i'm searching you on facebook right now! and i'll kill those guys myself! weirdos. x x x |
| from deathbytears : |
| you.can't.hate.harry.potter. it's against the frigging law! the books are amazing. the films are terrible, i'll give you that. i have all the books, except the last one, on cassette or CD. and i'm always always re=reading the books. they're so incredible. you're not allowed to hate them! :P well, maybe you are. but i'd never undertand WHY. lol. x x x x |
| from enurta : |
| why are you away from hayley? I thought you guys lived together?? *hugs* |
| from enurta : |
| aww you're so sweet! I'd love to meet you and hopefully I will some day! You can come to sweden and visit my anytime you'd like. We would have so much fun :) I love you!!! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| That's okay, I wasn't offended or anything, I knew you meant people in general and not just everybody. |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Dani dear! Hiya :-D my username is broken password is kd10 you're not crazy duh :-D lol love ya dear! xoxoxo |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I respond to your notes... |
| from enurta : |
| sorry i haven't left you any notes.......i haven't been feeling well. but i love you! and i care about you. never forget that *hugs* |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Damn right I'm your sister! :) I really do love you too, Danielle. You mean a lot to me and I am so glad I met you here on d-land. Sorry I wasn't on messenger yesterday, I forgot to turn it off when I went to get my hair done. Speaking of getting hair done, go look at my blog! I have pictures of my new hair on it! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| You're right. You don't need those people. Your real family is the people who love you and care about you. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Cool, I'm glad you're enjoying the book! :) And wow... I'm glad I'm an inspiration to you. That means a lot. I'm glad my struggles, past and present, have helped and are helping somebody. Your note totally made my day! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I'm glad she's clean now. I'm also glad you're able to read my blog now... thanks for your comment. I want to kick Anonymous in the face too! She/he/it doesn't comment anymore since I went private and disabled anonymous comments! Yay! |
| from xeison : |
| Danielle, did you get my email? |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hugs not drugs! :) Meth sucks big time. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Okay... still, it must be bad when he's there and being argumentative. I wholly support you getting your license and a job so you can save up money and get the hell out of there. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Oh. My. God. That must have been terribly frightening. I hope you can get out of that horrible place ASAP! |
| from xeison : |
| Your hair is amazing, the colors are great. Um, about Angel, maybe you can email me at [email protected], if you cannot discuss it here, but how long is she being put in for? Is there a bail of any sort or can she plea bargain? And what is the specific Tennessee Statute that she is being charged on? |
| from ethereal-red : |
| It's [email protected], right? I'll send another invite, I did send you one. Maybe you are using a different email address. |
| from comebacktome : |
| The answer to the question I asked him in the previous letter hon. Guess what? I got my hair cut, I now have this cute sideways fringe yup yup. Oh and I actually really like the song Finger 11 just released in Oz- I think it's called falling? Anyway I heard it the other day and thought of you! Hope you're going okay xoxo |
| from xeison : |
| i am ok, i just make the world bad, so i deserve worse :'(. i dont ahve to deal with mean people, i make them be mean to me by making things bad, and taht is why i shouldnt care about myself. That was extremely kind of you to say, that i helped you feel better, but it is you who made you get better. You were the one who did it, i did nothing. i love you too so much,. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Danielle, I totally know how you feel... I hate it when people smaller than me (like, much smaller) say that they're fat... when I'M the one who is overweight! I'm so sick of one of my blogger friends saying that she's a huge whale when she weighs 108 pounds and is taller than me! "Uh, excuse me", I feel like saying, "I'm 170-something. What does that make ME if YOU'RE the one who is fat?!" P.S.- I love your new layout. P.P.S.- How did you like the Fiona cds? Have you gotten a chance to listen to them? |
| from xeison : |
| Why wont you just believe the truth :'(? |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry :(. im glad that you ahve less stress with school being out though im sorry that you cannot see your Friends anymore. i hope things are really going good. Um, things are going worse with my Foster parents, but its irrelevant, it is my fault in the first place anyways. |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry :(. im doing fine, how are you? |
| from xeison : |
| Thats not fair, i asked first : /? |
| from xeison : |
| Hi, how have you been? How has being out of school been? |
| from deathbytears : |
| it is a bit weird. well done for graduating, sorry my congratulations are so late. so, you've finished school forever, now? got any plans? any travelling plans? (hinthint lol). xxx |
| from deathbytears : |
| it is a bit weird. well done for graduating, sorry my congratulations are so late. so, you've finished school forever, now? got any plans? any travelling plans? (hinthint lol). xxx |
| from ethereal-red : |
| And you're welcome for the cds. I hope you enjoy them! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| It's private now. I sent an invite to your cut_me_apart address on yahoo, but you must not use that email anymore. I'll send an invite to the address you use for messenger. |
| from chalkstain : |
| my brother went out with a girl for over three years. they broke up in december, and her father died on monday. |
| from xeison : |
| That is true, but in some ways that is a good thing. It allows you freedom, which can be good or bad. You are right though, people are hard to understand. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Did you get the cds I sent you yet? I love the song playing on your diary! It's awesome. I'm going to do a search for it and find out the title and band. Congrats on your graduation! I'm proud of you. :) |
| from xeison : |
| Some people associate the two as being more closely than others. Classically, going with stereotypes, males tend to seperate the two while females tend to attach the two closer together, but that doesnt mean certain males arent like the stereotypical female and vice versa. It is understandable that it is frustrating and im sorry you have to go through taht, but i think ultimately, while ou obviously should nto like it, it is something that again is meaningless without a relationship. |
| from xeison : |
| You have nothing to thank me for Danielle, and i think given the circumstances you still passed through with flying colors. The fact that you got pass on all your finals is pretty impressive too. im so sorry that happened. i know you already know this so this probably wont be helpful, but its not unusual for someone to get (i dont like horney either) aroused by someone else when they do not love anyone. Arousal in itself is just a physical thing that naturally occurs if someone is trying to keep themselves out of a relationship. The important thing is whether that happens while in a relationship and my guess is that she has not felt that way sinse you got back together because now she is in a relationship. Arousal without the emotioanl aspect of a relationship is meaningless. i know that probably isnt much concilation, but i think it is important to note. i love you too. |
| from xeison : |
| Congratulations on graduating Danielle. i would say the wow you made it thing, but the thing is, i was sure you would all along. Anyways, the point is congratulations, you made it through school, with flying colors too from the sound of it. |
| from xeison : |
| im glad taht you have decided to stop the bad habits and that you feel happy. Its impressive how far youve come. im really glad that you are happy. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I'm so glad you're happy! |
| from xeison : |
| im glad that concert went well. im so sorry that Amanda yelled at you, that wasnt right for er to yell at you about. Sometimes, people just explode when they shouldnt. You didnt fuck up Danielle, and i think that you have been trying more than hard enough. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I'm so glad you had a good concert! Sorry she yelled at you, though. That sucks. |
| from deathbytears : |
| no we don't really graduate from 'high school' lol. um... after our gcses, after the results are out (in august) we (our school, i dunno how others do it) have prizegiving in november time, to get our gcse certificates (the papers we get given in august are apparently "not a certificate"- like, not good enough for proof of grade, for a uni, i suppose). then we do the same thing after our A-levels (if you choose to stay at school) when we're 18. people graduate from university, though. (college?). yeah we don't get a diploma. wel, the government is starting some new "diploma award" that people can do instead of A-levels. but generally they are for subjects which aren't academic at all, but are pretending to be. in days gone by people would have gone to college for them, or done an apprenticeship or something, but now the governemnt is trying to make everyone go to university for courses that should not be taught at university. like, there's some diploma for hairddressing. it takes 4 years. (aged 14-18, or year 9 to year 13). and after that, you still aren't aualified to cut hair. whereas you could have learnt everything you needed in about 6 months' work experience at a salon. yeah i've gone otally off the point... but yeah our system is totall different to yours lol. do you have to wear gowns, with funny square hats? people wear those here, at university graduation ceremonies. anyways i'm off to do biology revision! must do well! love you. xxxx |
| from xeison : |
| im not though, why do you think it when its not true. i dont understand. i think working is a good plan for now, but i really dont think you should give up on being a psychologist if you still want to be one. i dont know what im going to be doing either. im sorry that you will not be able to hang out with Haley. |
| from xeison : |
| im so sorry i make you upset. |
| from xeison : |
| im glad that you will be able to get out of school soon. Hopefully, summer will allow you more time to spend with Haley. What are you going to be doing next year, may i ask? |
| from xeison : |
| But, im not smart...i hate big schools too. You are right, it is bad when you do something like pass out or have a panic attack here. i love you too *hugs* |
| from deathbytears : |
| what do you mean by not walking in graduatiuon. i don't get it. i hope french goes well for you. remember you verb endings! love you. xxx |
| from xeison : |
| We have more classes than your school does, probably because we are near the city and there are way more kids at our school, like almost 5,000. However, we do not have an AP Psychology or AP Comparative Government or AP Environmental Science class here. We have Psychology and Environmental Science as non-APs and then they recommend that some people take the exams, but for some reason they just let me take it for free. US Government actually was AP so i ended up in the exam because of that. Comparative Government we usually dont have anyone take because it is not a class at all at our school, but i guess my US Government teacher felt i knew enough because of all the references i made in class to other forms of government. My brain hasnt exploded only because everything just floats by me anyways, all in one ear and out the other with no processing. im totally screwed on all my exams, except maybe Psychology. i think i did good on that. |
| from xeison : |
| That makes sense, she sounds like she is not very good emotionally. Um, i did American Government, Comparative Government, Environmental Science, and Psychology. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Fuck Jim and fuck Judy and fuck the fucking world. They're just jealous because we get to live with people way cooler than them. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I sent your cds today. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Such a sweet letter! :) I'm going to the UPS store today! |
| from chalkstain : |
| i wish i could take us camping to celebrate you finishing up school. |
| from xeison : |
| Haley wrote you a really sweet letter. How did your English thing go by the way, i know it was a while ago, but i was just wondering? |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Oh, and I have not forgotten about the CDs. I have to get my ass down to the UPS place to send them to you! Sorry it is taking so long! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I believe you about how much you are eating and throwing up. I really do. As for the whole "normal" thing- yeah, it must be super nice to be normal! I think people really take it for granted. And being skinny and normal would be even better. I agree. |
| from chalkstain : |
| happy last week in school ever, dollface ♥ |
| from enurta : |
| I�m sorry. Technically, I don�t care because I�m not doing anything about it. I guess I�m not that �well� after all. Sure, I�ve stopped purging but�the sick thoughts are still there. |
| from comebacktome : |
| Hey doll, updated both diaries, so you can read another mills and boon saga if you like lol xo |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Look, I'ma be straight with you right now.: when you were going out with Haley, you were worrying a lot about what you and her will do and be like in the future and it didn't work, now you're about to do the same thing. I am a little bit angry atm, and I'm not sure why. I guess.. I do not want to see a pattern of this, I don't want the same things to occur between you and Haley, as they did last time. You have to make this a new realtionship and you have to stop the stressing about the future that you and haley may or may not have. Act as if you only have 6 days left with Haley. Fuck. Duude, if you and her get broken up by anything, and you get sad and "life's not worth it" or whatever, I will totally disown you (not really, but I won't listen to you be depressed). Life is not about Haley. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD. I totally get that you love her, but you don't have to make the love you have for eachother, so dependant on your futures. Dude. this is your life, you can't waste time saying "what if what if what if." Just let life happen. I love you. |
| from xeison : |
| i hope you enjoy the HIM thing. As far as the thing you are stressing out about, i knwo that is worrisome, but i think you guys will be able to make it work, even if it involves avoiding her knowing. |
| from chalkstain : |
| i know love. but, we have to take for granted that there are people in this world who do care, immensely. |
| from comebacktome : |
| Yes, I do have MSN, if you send me a request using the email that I gave you, we can chat :) Be warned, I am very rarely signed in, but if we organise a time I will be there, promise!! This may require calculation of time difference, but it can be done! Otherwise if you email me, I promise to email you back within 48 hrs. I swear xo |
| from xeison : |
| im really sorry that your family is being like that. Good luck on your AP test, they are very strange. You have to do that book right, The Stranger? Anyways, good luck on it. im glad that Micheal was able to come back. May i ask what you have been stressing about. i hope it works out ok too. i love you. |
| from xeison : |
| i do have proof. People are dead because of me Danielle. Whatmore proof is neccesary? Even worse still is that i have more, so much more because im a horrible prson. |
| from xeison : |
| im glad that you are working on seeing yourself as you really are. Its different with me Danielle, i do see myself as i am, i have proof. If i live with you, ill end up destroying everything. im so sorry that i kept you awake. i love you too. |
| from enurta : |
| actually...i'm not normalweight, i am a little overweight. i think 15 pounds overweight or something. i've gained a lot because of my antipsychotic medication. and because i've stopped purging after every meal. |
| from comebacktome : |
| Hey, I just read back over a whole bunch of your entries, I'm glad that you are doing better by the sounds and I love the pics, your hair is cool!!! Oh and may I just be the millionth person to say, I too think that you are pretty :D |
| from comebacktome : |
| Hey doll, my password etc. is not working for your other diary, did you change your username again?? Can you send me a new one?? How is it going?? xoxo |
| from xeison : |
| If i was amazing, beautiful, and had a big heart, then i would have never failed everyone. They wouldnt be dead, and i would actually be able to help people, but i cannot and they are because i am none of those things. i am a failure. A failure is someone who fails, and that is all i have ever done whether by strict criteria of school or by abstract construct of life and ethics. i am worse than a nothing, because im a negative. im a detriment. i cause all the bad things. i make it all happen. Its all my fault Danielle. Everything is my fault. i cant possibly be what you think i am, wo why should you waste your time trying to prove to me that i am something that i am not? You asked if i have ever hurt you, and the answer is yes. It was never direct, but the fact that i fail you, the fact that i was gone so long while things were going badly for you guys, that is failure. You dont think of it that way because you are too kind to me, but it is true. You are honest, but you are honest to your own thoughts, which are not always right. So, why would you tell me i am great if i am not? According to you, you wouldnt, but i highly disagree. It is just like you tell yourself that you are not beautiful when you are. You believe that you are not beautiful, and you believe that i am kind, but in both cases, you are wrong. You have been too kind to me and too harsh on yourself. Thus you have come to the wrong answers and so you take it as a true conclusion that i am kind when i am not. So you are honest and tell me what you believe is true, but you have the wrong answer on this matter. So, it seems that you shouldnt really love me. Also, it wouldnt be a good idea from me to live with you guys. If you all live together, then things can go well, but if i am there, then everything will get ruined. It is really kind of you to offer to take good care of me, but i simply dont deserve it. Your new login information is very clever. By the way, im really glad that you are taking the second step in acknowledging that your belief that you do not look good is not logically correct, even though you are still not able to believe that you are beautiful, im glad that you realize that logically it is true. im also glad that when you are with Haley, yo uare even able to believe it sometimes, which is step three. i love you too. |
| from enurta : |
| hey, nobody cares about weight. i don't. I stopped caring about my weight a long time ago. sure, I'd like to lose a couple of pounds but it won't change anything. beauty comes from the inside...and i think you're gorgeous. face, body, everything. i love you <3 |
| from xeison : |
| i didn do anything, so you have nothing to thank me for. i did lots of things bad, so many things. Why does it matter though anyways, its not important? i love you too. |
| from xeison : |
| You have nothing to thank me for. It would be nice if you can get it back to being better adn i think you can. im glad that you at least feel beautiful when Haley looks at you in that way and that it makes you happy and feel better. i got in trouble because i was bad and a lot more stuff. It doesnt matter anyways, none of it matters. i love you too. |
| from xeison : |
| im really glad that you have Amanda, she sounds really great and it sounds like things are better there for you. im sorry that it makes you feel uncomfortable being told you are beautiful, because you really are beautiful. Does it make you uncomfortable because you do not believe it and feel like it is fake? See the thing is it isnt fake, i really wish you would stop being so negative about yourself Danielle. i just dont know how to show you the truth. You are very beautufl. i really wish i knew hwo to show you that and knew how to help you not feel the need to not eat. You deserve better than that. im so sorry i havent beeen on, i just, have been in a lot of trouble lately. im so sorry. i love you too. |
| from deathbytears : |
| i didn't get any eye shadow in the end. i thought i might ask my friend to borrow her gold glittery liquid eyeliner and use it as eye shadow, i did that before and it looked cool... though it was for a fancy dress party lol. confused is right. there's stuff going on, but i can't tell what, exactly. and i don't know what to do about it, and i don't think i'm reacting to it properly, and i'm scared of regressing back to year 8, right before the exams. and i don't think anyone can help me at the moment, because of the way i'm doing things. but thank you for caring. and i wish i could help you. i don't want you to have so much trouble in your life, everyone who ever should have taken care of you seems to have done the opposite. i wish you lived here. the state might help you, a bit. like with treatment and stuff. but if there's ever anything you think i might be able to help you with, just say. and i'm sorry for being all weird at the moment. love you. xxxxxxx |
| from ladyinma : |
| Just wanted to say, Thanks for joining the Anxiety diary ring :-) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I hope Haley doesn't hurt you again... |
| from enurta : |
| so linda is back in jail again? what did she do? why are you back together with hayley?! she hurt your feelings. she can do it again. i don't want her to take advantage of you...you deserve better. *hugs* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I think it could be stress too.. But it's not fir to be stressed and fat. And ya know that means something because I never say "it's not fair." I dunno if you have heard of it, but we have a shop in australia called SUPRE' and it has a really diverse, relitivly inexpensive, trendy clothes. Pretty much every woman owns something from that shop. But it's mostly teens that wear thier clothes. But the clothes are incredibly tiny. They have XXXXXS, and only go up to and L. And L is probably a size 12 (I think that's a 10, 8, or a 6 in america), but so many bigger girls try and wear their clothes, but it's gross because everything hangs out. Personaly, I think they could go to k-mart or Target and get the same sort of style, but just in their size. It's look much better. But whatever. Once I got a pair of really expensive pair of black pants in grade 7 and they were a XXXS and they still fittned me in year 9, but they got old and I fell over in them and got a big hole in my knee of the pants. So I threw them out. I wish I still had them. They were so pretty lol. But yeah, gradually, I went up and up and up. Now I am a S, M and a L. Which is yuk. SUPRE' has heaps of the small and smaller clothes in stock but hardly any of the bigger ones (which really aren't even big!). I alwasy wonder if its because other people take them before I get there, or if they don't want fatties wearing their clothes. Btw, I can't stay on msn long because I have so much to do today and I haven't even started any of it. And no pressure to finish what you were saying, do it whenever you want =) love you |
| from enurta : |
| yeah...but you have a lot of problems. if you are admitted to a psychward, they will help you with everything, not only with the ED. but it's your decision. being locked up somewhere has never helped me at all. but maybe you want to get away from your life. so i understand. i remember what it was like to live with my parents. so i understand. even if it was slighty different for me. is linda being abusive again? *hugs* |
| from enurta : |
| you can't go to an ED 'hospital' unless you are severaly underweight. not smoking is going fine...thanks for asking. *hugs* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| you're 100lbs (what u said in ur entry) heavier because of the damage you've done in the past, not because of anything else. You can't loose 100lbs in one day, so don't compare yourself to them. Everyone's metabolic rate is different and tere's not one human being that matches another with body shape, size, or metabolic rate. You cannot compare yourself to other human beings, physicaly. It doesn't work. Be yourself, be your own body. |
| from chalkstain : |
| wow, i was just clicking onto your username when i got an email from d*land. and, you mean rachel? we've been friends for years, on again off again. we've grown apart a lot, but then i dropped outta college and she called out of the blue and we hung out again, we were having fun and we were helping each other to deal with shit. then she followed her parents back to korea, they moved in august of last year. she's not so good with contact. |
| from tttragic : |
| girl, you're so young and beautiful. keep your head up, life's tough. you just gotta find something you love, anything. because there's always atleast one thing worth living for, and that thing is the most important. no matter what it is. stay strong. |
| from enurta : |
| Danielle, remember that you are in control. Only *you* can change your life if you want it to change that is�if you want things to stay as there are�nothing will change. I�m not going to lie to you and say that things will be okay because I don�t know. No one knows what will happen in the future. But this is your life and you have to deal with it. Hurting yourself, cutting, starving, binging, purging, thinking about killing yourself all of that is the same thing as running away and running away is impossible. You are just delaying the inevitable. Deal with your life. Deal with your emotions. I am trying to do that every day because I am sick of running away. And guess what? I am okay. I survived. And you will survive too. I love you Danielle, you are so beautiful and special. Don�t throw that away. *hugs* |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| Is that why you won't tell me that you love me whenever I say that I love you? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| another one. Ok, so please explain what is going on. I didn't knwo you when you were 13, so I can't understand what it's like for you. What's the code? Illusion. So you think we're not real? Please make me understand. why do you want to be like that still..numb and all 'prozac nation/girl interrupted' like. who is she? the one in your head? is the voice back? please make me understand. love u |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Oi you don't need to say "my comment was mean, I don't mean to be a bitch," because I know that you're not. You don't need to defend yourself. I understand where you're coming from and all that, I do. I get all your concerns about me, the sistuation and my future. I do want help. I truly do. But I realise that if you extract aLL the meaning that I make about the situation (Like: I'm not good enough, I'm stupid, I'm mean, Life is curel, noone understands and all the other things that I frequently say) then you'll see that there's actually nothing there. All that is there, is the fact that I do not eat properly. I do not take care of what substances go into my body, and I do not eat enough healthy food. And because I don't eat well, all the bad thoughts come into my body and say all those things that I make the sistuation mean (Like: I'm not good enough, I'm stupid, I'm mean, Life is curel, noone understands and all the other things that I frequently say). So, I don't eat properly, or healthily. that's the fact. All the psychological bullshit that i make everything mean, is a load of crap. I don't eat properly. That's all there is to it. I am not all the bad things I say. I don't eat properly. The solution to this, is to eat properly. That can happen in an instant. That's all there is to it. We eat properly. We don't eat properly. That's the issue, when you take away all the meaning. The meaning is so empty. I love you. I want to thankyou for supporting me they way you have, ever since we met. I thankyou from the bottom of my heart. But let it be, just trust that nothing will worsen, trust that I am telling the truth when I say I don't have an ed. Trust me. I love you. |
| from tttragic : |
| i've never gone to see one, as we JUST now got health insurance. and everytime i get an anxiety attack, my mom thinks i'm faking it. but i kinda wanna go see one, just to figure some shit out. plus, i want to be put on adderall, so i think going to a therapist would help me with that. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I don't have anything to do with you getting pissed off. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I'm excited for you to listen to the CDs. Fiona Apple rocks! I love her so much. :) And I love you too. I believe you when you say that you won't kill yourself. I know you won't. I hate that you are hurting so much right now. :( |
| from chalkstain : |
| okies, will do m'dear. can't right now 'cause for some reason it's being stupid and won't let me log on but i'll do it as soon as possible, okies? ♥ |
| from chalkstain : |
| heh you make me giggle. um, this may be the most awkward answer in the world, but i use msn? if that's any good, not sure but i think you can add yahoo addresses from it? i dunno, i'm not good with this kinda stuff. |
| from chalkstain : |
| you're such an awesome little lady. don't deny it, or thank me, i just think you need to hear that more than you do. just thought i'd send a little love from ireland ♥ |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I'm really worried about you being so suicidal. I care about you. Hey, I made the CDs for you. I just have to wait for the first of the month so I can have some money to send them to you. |
| from deathbytears : |
| hi. sorry i didn't reply. it's fine, btw. just some girls at school. i'm overreacting. love you. xxxx |
| from comebacktome : |
| oops. sorry darl, unlocked now (my friend went skitz so I locked it ages ago) xo |
| from tttragic : |
| theyre not so bad. the songs are amazingly well written. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I really like "Paper Bag" too. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| There are 6 billion people in the world. You're not alone. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| It was really good to talk to you last night. I'm so glad I added you to my Windows Live! :) And, yeah... it'd be great to stop hurting. I would looooove that. |
| from tttragic : |
| i know that. i probably need to stop thinking all these things, too. but god. if you could only see my boyfriend. he's so fucking tiny and bony and i get so insecure whenever we have sex because i can't help but think he thinks i'm huge. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I'm at BlogSpot. The site for my blog is www.ethereal-red.blogspot.com and you do not have to be a member to read or to comment. Come and visit me there! :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hi... I hope Angel gets out of the hospital soon. I'm glad you have somewhere to live. I'm worried that you are losing so much weight, and not eating enough, and still throwing up (even if it's not that often). But really, who am I to talk... I've got an ED too. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I keep meaning to tell you that your layout is extreamly hot. that girl is so beautiful, hot, sexy, stunning, gorgeous and all the rest! I love your peircings and make up and everything omg she's like, perfect aye. You alwasy pick nice layouts =) *pats your back* . Now, seeing as you fucking think I really won't ever visit you, then go get fucked! Dude, I want to see you. I wanna meet the girl that God made me love so strongly. Dude, if you won't let me see you then I'll ucking stalk you, and not in a loving way either! I am still in school, still only 16, and I don't have a job or any other form of income. I will come see you. I told you it will be within 3 years. Just trust me, trust that the universe is working behind the scens for us. Ok? I love you. Also, you actually have complete control over your life, and your circumstances, and how you deal with them. Just let go of the past, and live right now. Only right now. Right now is alway only what will happen. Right now is what counts. right now is all that is here, all that's alive. If you want the life you want, it will happen, but you have to make it happen. I am really confused about you and Haley, still. Are you both friends now? or like, enimies? what??? Well, I love you Danielle. I hop the MRA goes well.. I love you. |
| from comebacktome : |
| Thanks babe. I hope you're okay *hugs back* |
| from deathbytears : |
| "EXTREMELY FUN"? thanks, i'll bear that in mind and i'll tell you what i think, if i ever get any. ;) but yeah, i can tell you that skiing beats everything i've ever done. even the time i inhaled near-pure cherry-flavour oxygen. if the weather is as perfect as it was last week, skiing is even more fun than drinking. try it, if you ever get the chance. i don't know if there's much opportunity for skiing in tennessee. good luck with the whole court thing and everything that seems as though it can't possibly get any more fucked up. :( love you xxxxx |
| from deathbytears : |
| please don't die. it's not fair, all of the good people are ill or dead, all of the bad people never get their commuppance. |
| from enurta : |
| please don't die...you are the only friend i've got...i don't want to lose you...i love you...please, if you disappear, i won't have anything to live for. and i want to meet you some day. please. don't leave. i beg you. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| w t f. duuuude. if you die, i will literally go insane. i wouldn't know what on Earth to do without you. You don't give a fuck about how many people care about you..."nothin to live for".. dude you promised me that you wouldn't do it, you promised me that you loved me and you promised me that we'd meet. Fuck, i'll meet your fuckin grave stone more like it!!!! and and and a fucking anurism. Fucking hell Danielle, that is really serious! what is gonna happen!?!?!?!!? you have to keep me updated. omg!!! we have to sort out the DEATH arrangements!!! fuck cunt. If you die, i need someone's number or email that is close to you so i can see what's happening. If u just die, and JUST die without letting me knwo wtf is going on, I will kill you again!!!! I don't want you to die Danielle!!!!!!! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| etf? you went to hospital????? why??????? I got all your notes =) Thanks doll face. How's school going? There's not point in me dropping out because this year is your last year of school, and I still have this year and next year. Lol but next year is only like a 6month year =) woooo. Last night I had a dream that I was at the gym with ym friend Micheal and then i escaped on the way home from the bus and went into the bush and walked for ages. I saw a gorilla lol and then I ended up seeing this small house with lost os flowers around it and i went inside and it was an e.d recovery house. There was only like 6 girls there, relitively skinny, but they were all bitchy, not depressive ganster cunts like yah see on youtube and shit. And yeah, I stayed there for a couple days because i didn't wanna go home. Then I woke up and realised that I really want to go to a real life one. Not for an e.d, but to make me learn not to abuse food and my body. Oi, Danielle, I do not have an eating disorder, I swear. Well, if I do, it is only a binge eating disorder and they don't have clinics for that. I eat all the time. Everyday. I eat the most food at breakfast time. I dunno why, but that's my thing :( Sometimes I will have like toast, cereal and fruit, or cereal and a biscut or shit like that. See? You should ask your shrink to let you go to that ed house in TN. Seriously, it would be great for you, I'm not kidding. I really really really want you to go, especially when you're this age, because e.d joints don't let old people in lol. We have NO clinics in Western Australia, central Australia or Northern australia. The only place that would have on is eastern australi because that where all the big things happen I guess. and I don't even know if we have one there either! I'll look it up. Although..rob's ex finace' had an ed and stayed in hospital for a while with other e.d people. She told me that there were normal sized, skinny and fat people in the hospital. but that's a hospital, so it doesn't count? Gosh, everythign is about fucking eds. wtf how gay. How's the love life going? What's the dealio with ur shrink? what are you and her working on? you got asny pills still? How's your back and your head? Well, betta go now. love you |
| from comebacktome : |
| Hey babe, really really relieved you went to a hospital, I hope that they can help. I understand feeling trapped that people know, but as a few people have already said, you are not your eating disorder, don't allow them to define you in that way, you are better than that and I hope you realise this. I am thinking of you and hope you are doing better! xo |
| from enurta : |
| Weird that you can't see it....try copying this link and pasting it: http://i31.tinypic.com/23lxx0n.jpg if that doesn't work then check out my face book, the album 'my animals'. |
| from xeison : |
| im really sorry, ive been a really bad Friend to you lately. i havent left you a note in so long, im so sorry that i have been a bad Friend. Um, i wanted to say some stuff about the last two entries you put, so i guess ill just go in order. im so sorry that the last two weeks have been going so baadly, and really it seems to me like before then things were also going quite badly. While i dont like the fact that you would like to kill yourself, i am glad and thankful that you have made the commitment not to. Thank you so much for doing that. im sorry that you cannot drink whenever you want, though i will admit im partially glad that you cant because ultimately it would become something you need and the feeling you get from it would become less strong and just a neccesity while the crashes would get stronger. i know though that you know how it works, so im not going to lecture you. i hope you will be able to find a way to make yourself happy without having to drink because i really do want you to be happy. im sorry that you got that knife in your heart feeling when you threw up. im glad you made the good choice of going to the hospital though. i think it is a good idea for you to try and get more help if you can. im so sorry though that Lochia and your Mother feel the need to blame it all on Haley. You are being much more logical on this matter than they are, it seems to me at least. However, i still think that you should go to your appointment with Lochia, just maybe you guys can avoid discussing Haley. Its up to you though, because you know best in this. im also sorry that Lochia things you are blaming your Mother when you are not. i think it is partially your Mothers fault, not that she meant for this to happen, but many of the things she did were things this was meant to cope with. i can understand you being glad that you Mother did not find out. It is kind of nice in a way to have something that noone else can take from you or interfere with. im glad though that you wont do it more for that reason because it isnt healthy for you. im glad that you have decided to take another step towards getting better. im so sorry that you feel scared and lonely. You can get better though, i have faith in you and i think you should to. You arent going to die. Also, i think you are a very good role model and would do well as a Mother. You are caring, smart, and strong. i know you dont believe me, but im right on this one, that i know. i also think that if you still want to be one, you would make a fantastic Psychologist. Much better than any of the ones you have dealt with, in part, because you know a lot of what people go through because youve had it first hand. As for Lochia, i really dont understand her logic. Because you have had it for so long, it is not an emergency? Even though the longer someone has any illness, the worse it gets, increasing the danger to the person, which to me seems to be the very definition of emergency. Maybe im jsut really stupid, but her logic seems messed up. You said you are not sure what is worth fighting for because your life is just eating and throwing up and that you will get a pointless job and that you will be alone. i dont think you should define your life by eating and throwing up. That is something you do, but it is not what you are. Please dont devalue yourself to that; you are NOT your eating disorder. You are a strong, smart, caring, nice, and amazing person. You are smart enough and caring enough and skilled enough to get a very pointful job. Itll take work, but you can do it, you have the ability to. i know, once again you do not believe me, but you really need to believe in yourself Danielle. i know its really hard to do, but you are strong enough to do so. As for being alone, you have Angel, Micheal, and Haley, and im hoping that once i get out of here, if you guys still want me, that i can go there too. So you wont be left alone. We wont abandon you. As for what is worth fighting for, i would like to say you, because you are, but i know you wont see things that way yet, so then i guess it has to be something outside you, for that i would say your besides your goals and aspirations and your potential to do so much good, the people that you have made Friends with. We would be devastated by your loss, which is why i thanked you for promising not to kill yourself. Please keep fighting Danielle. Please care for yourself as you do for others. im sorry that Tim was like that on the phone. i think that was unfair of him to say. im really glad that you were able to find an eating disorders clinic and i really hope you are able to get help. im so sorry that you wanted to kill yourself yesterday, but thank you so much for keeping your promise and not doing it. im really sorry that you feel trapped now that your Mother knows. i really hope she doesnt tell everyone. You are not really pathetic though. This does not make you pathetic. You are strong because you decided to fight this and you have made it quite far. i hope the Neurologist is able to help with the migraines. Also, you left me a few notes that i never responded to. In a way the first one relates back to your entries. i just think you should know, i think you are doing very well given the circumstances. You keep working towards getting better; you keep fighting. i think in that sense you are taking very good care of yourself and so i think it is an unfair assessment for you to say that you are doing an inadequate job. i think you are doing amazing. As for my Foster parents, they are right Danielle. You said, if i screwed everything up, i wouldnt have Friends. i dont have any here, only on the internet, where none of you have met me, and look at what kind of Friend ive been to you. ive been horrible to you. im so sorry that i have been horrible to you. As for the other note, thank you so much for still loving me and wanting me to be there. That note really meant a lot to me, and i never really thanked you for it, but thank you so much for writing that. Please take care of yourself, i love you. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I looked at that Focus place's website. It looks AMAZING. And it's so close to where you live. I think it would do wonders for you if you're ready to get better. And from your entries it seems like you are. I'd consider it. |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| Do you smell something?That's the smell...of freedom.Woot hoo!!!!!!You need to hurry up and get done with your entry or else I'm kick your a double s.Oooh.I'm a ninja.Weeeeeeeooooo.What the hell is a widget?Ok.I'ma go now.I love you!! |
| from comebacktome : |
| Hey, from a professional standpoint (I'm actually a speech pathologist), if you go to a hospital you should get assessed and be able to get some help, because it is a problem, that not being able to breathe and knife thing may be anxiety related, or it may actually be due to oesophageal bleeding etc. and the vomiting part of reflux. You don't know until you do tests, but if you say that to them, you should get checked out and get some help. Email is [email protected] if you need to 'talk' to me. Take care ok. You're strong, I know you are xo |
| from deathbytears : |
| writergirl is right. go to ER, see a medical doctor, you'll get help. and about haley... i totally lost track of what was going on with you two, if you are or aren't "you two" anymore. but no one can tell you not to talk to her. if it makes you happy, just do it. i think you should go to ER. it could be really serious, something really bad might happen. if you get it again, call an 911. please try to keep safe, as much as you can, with everything that's going on. love you. xxxx |
| from writergrrl88 : |
| If you were to go to a doctor or ER and tell them how ill you're feeling, you would get medical treatment. *hugs* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| lol, i see you made a new friend. Don't ditch me now, Dano! >.< I don't think you want me to come anymore or something, do you? and i don't think you even care man.. You keep saying all this "i'makillmyselflifesucksi'muglyihatemyselfnoonecaresi'mpathecticihavetocutihavetostarveit'stheonlythingthat'sgonnawork" and it's pissing me off. Cos there ARE ways to make ur life great, there ARE ways to get help, there ARE ways to eat enough, there ARE ways to be healthy, there ARE ways to like yourself, there ARE ways to stop depression, there ARE ways to help you sleep, there ARE people who'd die for you, there ARE people who are expectign to see you in 3 years alive and well, and you ARE beautiful. grr. Stop saying you're gonna kill yourself, ask people for support, because if you die, I'm sorry, but it's gonna really impact me, and so many others. I am not tryign to maek you feel guilty, but just saygoin it will be awful if you did. Every single 33 seconds, someone commits suicide (not including all the group suicide bombers in emgland and indonesia) do you really want to make that number higher? do you really want to contribute to such sadness? gee Dano, I love you ok? do you knwo that? grrr. Stay alive please. |
| from comebacktome : |
| Don't stress doll, did nothing! But thanks for being concerned, I appreciate the thought xo. What happened with you? I am quite possibly completely dense, but I have read all diaries and am still fuzzled. Are you ok? Don't go kicking yourself in the head! *concerned face* |
| from comebacktome : |
| Awww thanks! Weekend was okay. Dodged a bullet with this guy I met, so now I feel mega mega relieved! How was yours? Good I hope! Update soon!! xo |
| from comebacktome : |
| Wow, multiple diaryness! I can't talk, I have an alter ego that is like my 'me' diary lol (although I haven't updated it in forever) but 'comebacktome' is the one that is pure raw emotion and all of the stuff I could never say to anyone in real life...although come to think of it, I did actually tell him about how I felt like he owned me...hmmm. Anywayz, I will definitely check them out, thanks for the access codes! You'll have to let me know if you like the band :) |
| from deathbytears : |
| we're not allowedto buy it until we're 18...so what? ever watched priates of the caribbean 1? "they're more like guidlines, anyway". that's what i feel about some laws. i think i'm fine handling it now, some people might not be until they're 18, so they say 18 to cover themselves. oh yeah, i had a hissy fit in chem today. i'll post an entry, it's easier. love you. xxxxx |
| from comebacktome : |
| Wow, really?? Mine's more letters to people I no longer speak to, which includes him at this moment. I would love to read yours but it's locked! FYI if you like Evanescence and HIM you might like Antonomasia, they're an Oz band - search them on Myspace and have a listen, they're really good. Thanks for the words of encouragement, I hope you feel better about your situation :) |
| from deathbytears : |
| unless you can get up to NYC this july? xxx |
| from deathbytears : |
| thanks. ;) i'm sorry you have a shit life. 2 more years and i can come see you. love you. xxx |
| from beatnbroken : |
| *squeals* ahh yes I am! lol and you are too! But i'm about to head to stupid school in like two minutes. hehe have a super day Dani! Ttyl xoxoxo!!! |
| from enurta : |
| I haven�t tried Seroquel but I�ve tried many different antipsychotic medications but so far, nothing have worked. The medicine I am taking know makes me stronger, I don�t do what the voices tell me to do but I still hear them and see them sometimes. What�s your diagnosis? Do u suffer from borderline personality disorder or some other disease? Are you bipolar? What does your doctor say? My doctor says I am psychotic, that I suffer from schizophrenia or some other disease that is psychosis related. |
| from deathbytears : |
| i need you. more than that, i want you. people wanting you there is a better reason to stay than them needing you. i don't know quite how to explain it...it's like, if someone wants you, whether or not they need you, it makes you more important. it means that no one can replace you. many people can replace the solution to a problem, be the thing/person that someone might need, but no one can replace a want/wish for you to be there. i'm glad you didn't do it. love you. xx |
| from razornotes00 : |
| what else wa si gonna say??? i dunno. i love you. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| and sometimes I throw out stuff that mum has bought. and I tell her that I ate it all. and she doesn't get mad but i can tell that she thinks I am a fat hipo for it. But it is better than me actually eating it. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| soryr i had to go. mum was saying i had to go to bed because i was on really late. You're throwing up a lot Dano :S That is doin so much damage to your body.. You need to drink a lot more water too. 2L per day and in a months time, you'll notice significant difference in your headaches and other stuff. annnnd I don't get how people can't eat breakfast. It is the only meal that I actually look foward to. I love it and I couldn't ever go withouth (well I have and I could but I don't want to). I love breakfast. When I visit you in 3 years it will be awsome. We'll eat breakfast every morning and go for a little walk at night time to relax and look at the sky naww it'll be great. Do you have any gyms in tn? Maybe I could stay for a while and get a job their? I am getting my tatto next friday at 4pm. I am goign to take lollies into the place and eat them while I get stabbed for 2 hours. I don't care about the fat I will need somethign to take my mind off the pain. I'll send some photos of the tatto and might ask mum to record some of it getting done on my camera. I hope I don't chicken out.. Um what else? What's happening with your dad now? any test gonna get done? why aren't uou seeing lochhhie for ages? can't you call her if you need? Eh.. same.. I alwasy eat all the sweet stuff in the house and when mum decided she wants it there's alwasy heaps gone cos of me.. fucking hell. I hope she hasn't picked up that I am an obsessive binge eating disordered girl. For the past two nights when I have eaten dinner, I have eaten it in less that 10mins. A whole meal in less than 10-15mins. what does that mean!!?? please tell me. Seriously. SHIT! Um... what else? I dunno. I can't wait to see you. I hope I am not still obese by the time I meet you. Angel is going out with your bro?? ge.. that's weird.. Specially when he's so young. How's he handling all her issues and stuff? I hardly ever hear about angel these days. she still living with you?? what about her weight? self harm? anything? what's happening with her? tell her i said hi. Well I can't be stuffed doing an entry, even though I need to release some thoughts in my head. I nee dot exersice. I soo want to eat somethign sweet but no I can't. I love yo uso muchDanielle |
| from razornotes00 : |
| your dad had aids?? ...:S ....i love you. I fucking know what weight I am supposed to be at! My healthy weight is between 71-56kg. For my height that is the right weight. And I am not below or above those weights. talk later g2g |
| from deathbytears : |
| ahoyhoy. yeah, i thought something might be wrong with the phone, we seemed to be about 5 minutes from each other, answering stuff from waaay in the past lol. haha, diet thing. well, it went brilliantly for two weeks. then i went to rome. 3 things: pizza, pasta, best damn ice cream in the world. so no. but i am starting again. well, more again again again again lol. i'm going to go swimming every weekend, and do weights and stomach crunches. :D stomach crunches make me dizzy, i still get dizzy when i lie down/put my head back. the doctor said it's some kind of infection of the "middle ear" (whatever the hell that is) but as it's only occasional dizziness, there's no point doing anything, as the procedure available has a 1 in 10 chance of doing some kind of damage, which is pretty crappy odds, just to fix occasional dizziness. anyway, i am doing lovely lovely graphics coursework now! love you, xxxxxx |
| from deathbytears : |
| heyhey. i'm glad you're alive. it's nice to know :) yeah, with the enamel thing, i was watching a tv programme about "britain's worst teeth" and they paid for these 4 people to have their teeth fixed. one girl had previously suffered from bullimia and her teeth had worn away from the back. she'd been bullimic for about 4-5 years until she got pregnant, and she just stopped throwing up because of that. but yeah, they showed photos from when she was bullimic and up until a point, her teeth looked fine, and then suddenly, once too much enamel had won away, her teeth disappered to stumps. the dentist on the tv said that they can tell if the enamel is wearing due to throwingup, because it's worst at the back of the teeth, or something. but you have the doctor-patient confidentiality thing over there lie we do, so you shouldn't even have to ask him not to say anything, especially as you're 18. even under 18 (and over 12, i think) or old enough that the doctor can be satisfied you understand everything, they don't tell your parents stuff, if you request. except under the Mental Health Act, but that's like if you have some kind of psychotiv episode and try to refuse life saving treatment, or if they take the case to court. so basically never. i am now totally rambling. good luck at the dentist sweetie. xxxxxx |
| from razornotes00 : |
| yyay you're alive! thankyou for telling us, I appretiate it =) I love you!!!!! |
| from beatnbroken : |
| HI! Thanks, that note was so sweet. I know what you mean, it's just so hard. I never wanted to be that person that hurts everyone and is considered heartless. It's just hard ya know? I don't know what to do anymore... Anyway thanks, I love ya too. We haven't talked in forever. I need ur username and pword again i can't find it! Gah |
| from enurta : |
| Thank you for your note. I love you too. You are like my best friend, even though I haven�t met you. You read my diary and I read yours. I feel like we know almost everything about each other. It�s frustrating because I want to help, but I don�t know what to say or do to make you feel better. I love you too. You are also special and beautiful, remember that. If I am, then you are too�. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| did you get those blisters from one night of purging? far out Danielle. Who needs the help, huh? I don't egnore you when you say that stuf.. I don't really know what to say. Like. I am not thin, and I can't get help if I am not thin. I've got at least 7kilos to go before I am underweight (15 pounds?) so you got nothing to worry about. I am really tired today. . . I wonder how many other people in the world binged on popcorn too?. . So are you gonna start this purging stuff up again Danielle? I don't think you should.. It only hurts you. Physically and mentaly. And they're depressive suicidle thoughts, and I think that means suicidle. I don't know, ask Anya, she's the smart one in this comminity. And I would like to have your passowrd too? but you haven't changed it yet, so that's good. E-mail it to me. I love you. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Can I get the username/password for your new diary? Those purging blisters can be a bitch. When I used to purge, I would get them on occasion. I was never a big purger, though. I was always terrified of esophageal rupture. |
| from enurta : |
| :( still haven't received the new password for your other diary...i'm worried about you. please take care of yourself. |
| from xeison : |
| He has a point Danielle. um, that last line in your entry today, i think you should look at the entry you wrote two times ago on x-razor-x. i know you said you do not want those things anymore, but you clearly did at one point and i still think those are all worthwhile dreams to work towards. You want to know what your life will be like, look at that list, i think you can make all of those things happen, i think you have it within your power to make it there. i know you never believe me when i say this, but you really are strong. You face so much everyday and you keep fighting on, and that is true strength and courage. When you are confused, you should look to those goals and remember that they are within your power to grasp, i have faith in you. By the way, i would also like your new password, my email address is [email protected]. i really hope youll take care of yourself Danielle, because i love you too. |
| from deathbytears : |
| and i wish i didn't have to turn sixteen. yup, same old same old birthday paranoia again, i'm afraid. though hopefully i won't be as crazy as last year... lol. whoa! what kind of crazy arse spiders do you have out there? bloody hell. staph! bloody hell. the worst kind of creatures we have are rats, horribly diseased rats. but bloody poisonous spiders? fuck that's bad. have fun throwing that in her face though. i know i would. haha. and i claim to be mature. actually, i'm not sure that i've ever made that claim, tbh. hm. right-o, i'm going. love you. xxxxxxx |
| from enurta : |
| hey. i want the new password. do you know my e-mail address? and about pushing people awawy...i don't think you do. i think you trust people a little too much, like your mom and your dad, i hope they won't hurt you and disappoint you. but i don't think you push people away. doesn't seem that way anyway. but at the same time, i do not know you the way hayley does. i do not know you in person. so i don't know, maybe you should ask her what she meant with that? love you sweetie. *hugs* |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Danielle, your note made me re-think my intentions of automatic abortion. Maybe I COULD be a single mom. Maybe. Or, maybe I could have the kid and adopt it out. However, the test was negative (I'm going to the doctor for another test just to make sure), so hopefully I will not have to make that kind of decision anytime soon. But, seriously, thanks for making me think about my situation more. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| So glad you are doing better, that you are doing the best you can. Please email me the u/p for your other diary at [email protected]. |
| from writergrrl88 : |
| [email protected] ... I'd like the pw please. :) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Danielle, have some integrity and send that letter. So I can write back. SO I can be in communication with you. Because we hardly are anymore. I love you. |
| from enurta : |
| thanks for the note. what you say is never pointless, i love getting comments and notes from you. .you always make me feel better. i love you too sweetie *hugs* |
| from deathbytears : |
| hi :) thank you so much for leaving the comment for shannon. She loved it! and she says thank youuu. love you. gotta go, homework then bedddd. xxxx |
| from zenazombie : |
| yooo. you have my new number, right? (205)674-3342? but anyhow, i think you are on my buddy list,lol. but uhm yeah, you wanna do my makeup sometime? lol, just name when. we should totally hang out soon cause i havent seen you in ferever! well,gtg,love ya dude! :D *huggles* |
| from xeison : |
| You know, i think at some point or another, everyone has thoughts about doing bad things to other people. i know with my Father, there were many times i wanted to hit him, i once actually did. Youre probably wondering how this relates to what you wrote. You said in your entry, that if people knew your thoughts they would despise you and would not think you are strong. i guess what im trying to get at is this, everyone has thoughts about doing bad things either to others or themselves, its natural, being Humans we feel anger and can target that anger at people, but the thing that diffrentiates the good from the bad is action really. Those who actually go out there and act on their thoughts of hurting others, those are the ones we would define as that bad arent they? Having thoughts about hurting yourself and binging and purging do not make you a person we would despise. We wouldnt despise you even if you did do them, but the point is, you have been very strong in not acting on those thoughts, and so you are a much better person than you give yourself credit for. i really wish you could see that, you may not be everything you wish you were, but i think in many areas, you are more than you would even seek to be. You have immense amounts of strentgh and courage and kindness. While you have flaws, like any other person, you have a lot of good qualities and to such a level that it is far beyond what most people have. i really wish you could see that. i wish you would believe me when i tell you that strength is not the abscence of weakness, but the willingness to face them and fight them. There is noone who has no weakness, but there are those who confront their weaknesses and those who hide, you are one who fights. That is what defines you as strong. As for what to do when Tim talks to you about his eating disorder. That is a tough situation. im not sure how you feel about him, it seems to me that you seem to care about him. i think the best thing is to talk to him as you would any of us. Tell him what your think and feel. It might be a good idea to let him know you have had some personal experience with Eating Disorders. You dont have to tell him you have one. i think though tell him what comes to you instinctively and youll find the right things to say. i love you *HUGS* Please take care of yourself Danielle. |
| from enurta : |
| I'm glad you had fun with angel. I like watching american idol too :D |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Have you been loosing weight from the way you've been eating (or not eating more like it). Because the way you're discribing your body sensations makes me think that you really need to go to hospital sweetheart. I think it's time. You and the ppl around you know that you're not well, so please just do yourself the favour. I want you to be well, healthy and happy by the time I come over (3 years) so please try to make yourself well. Angle came to live with you so she could try and make you well, but you're not well. I don't knwo if you're more sick, or less. Prolly more.. But come on man.. All thses people love you. You gotta start acting like you want us to be here for you.. We need you to love urself, the way we love you. |
| from enurta : |
| You did the right thing. No matter what, do you not purge. But you shouldn�t starve yourself either sweetie� |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I am SO GLAD you are back online! I missed you. <3 |
| from xeison : |
| There has to be something i can do to help; im just not sure what it is right now. To be honest Danielle, it doesnt matter that its not my fault things are going badly there, the point is, i love you and so i am sorry that things are going bad for you because i would prefer that they werent, ok? Please make sure you take care of yourself. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| you never told me how it went when you went to church with haley last week! did it go ok? in x-razor-x what did the title of the entry mean? '23'??? i want to know!!!!!!! i love you |
| from xeison : |
| Thank you so much for not beinf upset with me. im so sorry that things are not going well. Is there anything i can do to help? ill try not to hurt myself. i love you too, please take care of yourself. |
| from enurta : |
| Life is worth living, and you are beautiful�you need more help than you are getting, meds are not the only solution. You need therapy! And there are other tranquilizers, maybe xanax is not for you but there are other meds that have the same affect that help. Believe me, I know what you are going through. Life is worth living sweetie. Always. |
| from enurta : |
| things will get better. i promise that. can't your doctor give you xanax or something so you can take a pill instead of hurting yourself when you feel like shit? i love you sweetie. but i am also very worried about you. and i am sorry for your loss. mike is in a better place now. <3 |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry, im just worried about you, but as long as you think you will be fine. im so sorry if i made you upset with my note. i wont leave you Danielle, i did to myself what i deservd, but i wont leave you. i cnat get help in this home, but its too risky to leave here, but i promise i wont leave you. i love you, please take care of yourself. |
| from xeison : |
| im so sorry about Mike. im also sorry if what i say in the rest of this note upsets you, but i think i should say it. This isnt a sign for you to kill yourself. im going to sound stupid telling you the obvious, but as you know, losing someone is hard. i wish there was a way i could make it better for you, but in the end, i cant make it better, a lot of the pain and healing you will have to go through on your own. i think though sometimes it is helpful to try and make sense of the Death of a person that is close to us. Religious people often take comfort in the fact that the Death of their close ones means that their loved ones are going to a better place. i am not sure what your belief is on the afterlife, but that isnt what i plan to discuss, though if there is an afterlife, given how nice you say he was, im sure he is going to a better place. Its a tough question to look at, what is the significance of our lives if they are temporary and fade out? Does our life really matter after we die? Do we really matter? i think the answer to these questions is yes. In life we form relationships with things, ties if you will, and throughout our lives, we influence those ties and thus influence how those people we hold ties to act and in turn influence their ties. One such tie would be the one between you and Mike. The question is does his Death end that tie? i believe the answer to that is no. While he is no longer physically with you, his memory and his influence on you will always be there and in that sense, he will live on through the influences you continue to exert on your ties to others, because part of that influence will be from him, and in that sense, he lives on because of your memory of him. His life in memory cannot replace the physical life that was lost, nor will it fill the gap that has been left behind, but it is something worth holding on to. Part of that gap will have to heal naturally over time, but part of it you can keep by remembering that he lives within your memories and your actions. i think that memory is at least worth holding on to. im truly sorry for your loss Danielle, and i really hope that you are able to get through this. If you ever want to talk about it, im always willing to listen and talk with you. Please take care of yourself, i love you. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Can't remember your username and password! |
| from deathbytears : |
| happy 18th :) i know it isn't happy for you. but i wish it was. i'm sorry. i love you. xxxx anya |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Happy 18th birthday Danielle! |
| from painted-eyes : |
| I'm worried for you guys as well. I hope you can find a place to stay. I'm glad you and Haley are doing better; she'd be nuts not to love you...and I have no problem if she knows I said that. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Thanks for all your support. I really appreciate it! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hey, those tattoos look awesome. :) I really like the star one. And I'm glad you're happy. <3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| WHOA! U wanna get a tattoo?? COOL!!!! We have to get one together one day, ok? !! =D I am getting a tattoo in about, 3 weeks for my birthday. But I want to get some writting on my arm, but I don't know what to write (get tattooed). Tell me what I should get, ok? Eh? PLEASE!!! I have to book it on Saturday and I don't know what I even want. I put some tats on my myspace pics, so if you can have a look and let me knwo what you think, then yeah. All good. I love you so much. So how come you and Haley are doing that stuff? Are you gonna ask ehr back out? I love you xxxx |
| from enurta : |
| No�don�t call him that�he is a good person�.but thanks for caring about me :) I hope I�ll meet you some day! <3 |
| from ethereal-red : |
| No, your note didn't make me mad at you. :) I wish he loved me. But he doesn't. And I have to accept that. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I am happy you know that you have been through worse things and that you can make it through this. Because it's true. |
| from enurta : |
| oh and i forgot to write; sorry but i had to delete your note. u used my name...i am really paranoid about that, i don't want my dad or anyone else that knows me to google my name and find my enurta diary. so please use the name enurta...i am not ***** here. |
| from enurta : |
| i am trying. i am glad that you've realized that you have been through worse...that you will survive this....i love you too. <3 |
| from deathbytears : |
| no, but i accidentally tried to log in as that username (because that's where most of them were) and it worked with the pw you gave me- only realised after i'd been deleting some that i was on the wrong username- sorry. ty for giving it to me though. xxxx |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| I love you.But you are such a tardo. |
| from painted-eyes : |
| hey, you doing alright, honey? i haven't talked to you in a while. |
| from deathbytears : |
| heyy. thankyou so much. it's all done. i deleted the note where you left it for me, but you may want to change it anyway in case. xxxx |
| from enurta : |
| this new friend of yours is a stupid bitch. I wish I could fucking kill her. i wish i could kill all of those voices in your head and all of those fucking voices in mine...we deserve better, I am trying to be strong, can't you try too? Please? Can you do that for me? Tell her to FUCK OFF. Even if you see or hear her, ignore her. That's what I do with my demons...I just ignore them... |
| from enurta : |
| who is taking care of you now that your mom is in jail?? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| What is in your pocket Danielle? *raises eyebrow* Can you tell em about this new girl you have? The one that is making you happy to starve yourself, the one that is being "nice" to you. Is she new, or is she the one that used to be in your head, but it is back now? Or is this thing, tthis voice and actual person telling you these things. You probably don't want to tell me, but I am worried for you. You don't need to tell me, just tell me not to ask and I won't, ok? I love you so much Danielle, I want you to knwo that, ok? I honestly love you and I always will. I hope you haven't forgotten that all the way in Australia, there's a girl who's in love wiht you, and who thinks about you ALL the time, who speaks to God of your greatness and beggs him for mercy for you. I love you so much Danielle. You're everythign to me. You're my sister, your my girlfriend/boyfriend (lol) you're my mother, you're my kid, you're my best friend, you're my pet, you're my one thing that I'll always live for. I love you so much, want to look out for you, want to be there for you. But I'm in Australia, how can I just ride over and help you? I can't so what can I do? This is all I can do :( I want you to be happy. I want you to go to school and just finish the last year you've got left. Summer's not that far away, so can't you hold on until then and then decide what you want? I want you to eat Danielle. I know how hard it is to do it, and to control it when you do eat. If I were you, or in this sistuation, I honestly would put myself in hospital. I would make sure I could be kept in some place for at least a month where I could have people make sure I eat the right things, in the perfect amount. I would seriously do it. I wouldn't care if they thought I was too fat, I'd find some way to be put in there (not a suicde attempt or anythign!!! I'm talking about, like breaking i or something lol) I'd have to. I want yo uot get better and be happy enough not to worry about food when you eat, or don't eat. Do you think you would concider going to hospital?? .... Where are you living right now Danielle? do you have a house atm? Is there anythign i can do for you Danielle? Can I do anythign? Talk to me, ok? Don't forget thta I love you, ok? I love you os much xxxxx |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| Ok so....I have to tell you this.And you're gonna get very angry with me when I tell you it.So I'm going to ask for your forgiveness in advance.Please forgive me?I'm sorry...So now that that's over...IT has got to be somewhere in your pockets.and I would really appreciate it if you just gave IT to me.You're hiding it from me.I know you are.Because you want to piss me off.And you know exactly what IT is.Please allow me to have IT.I promise I'll give IT back.I just have to make sure IT's not dangerous or anything.Because you know having a malfunctioning IT can really do bad things.You could get radiation poisoning from IT.And that would be bad.You'd get really sick.And I don't want that.So just give IT to me and everything will be fine....You can now start choking me. |
| from chalkstain : |
| you are so much stronger than you'll ever know |
| from enurta : |
| I�m happy that you are feeling better sweetie. And I�m glad you didn�t kill yourself. Be strong�and don�t be a hater! Don�t hate yourself, you are beautiful and special�.you like me, right? And you like all the people here at D-land that love you, right? Would we love you if you were disgusting? NO! Because you are beautiful, on the inside and out�.you better believe it :) *hugs* |
| from chalkstain : |
| my heart breaks a little more for you everytime i catch up with you, sweetcheeks. username and password? ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yes I would like to have your password and username please. I love you. |
| from enurta : |
| i am so sorry that she left you. i don't know what else to say. i can't imagine what you are going through right now...if N would leave me, I would die...so you are strong, be proud of yourself. also i would like the name and user/pass of your new diary. love you. <3 |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I would like the new diary name and user/pw, please. And I am soooo sorry about Haley... I don't know how you feel, but I do know that it probably feels like absolute shit. I'm here if you want to talk. |
| from writergrrl88 : |
| *hugs* I'm so sorry about what happened. I know I don't know you very well, but you have my sympathy (and empathy). I would like the new username/password/diary loc as well, if you'd like to share it. |
| from xeison : |
| i would like the new username and password of your new diary as well as the diary name. i have something to say about your entry, but im not sure how to put it, so i will leave another note after this. In the meanwhile, all i can really vocalize is, im so sorry *HUGS* im so sorry this happened. i love you, please take care of yourself. |
| from tttragic : |
| stay strong, girl. i know how you feel. when zoe and i broke up it was one of the worst things in the world. because we used to plan how we would be together forever and everything. but things end. ♥ |
| from painted-eyes : |
| Oh, honey, I forgot your password when I moved and so now, I am so lost about what's been going on with you and Angel. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can call me. I am so sorry about you and Hayley. I can only imagine how your heart is hurting. If you want to talk, I'm just a phone call away. I love you, honey, you and Angel have been lifesavers for me so much in the past, and I don't mean to abandon you in your ened, but I didn't know that you needed anything. I thought you were happy, oh, Dani, if I can help in any way, just let me know. I want to help and be there for you. |
| from enurta : |
| :( please don't give up! I Am here for you if you need to talk....love you <3 |
| from xeison : |
| First of all Danielle, i have never thought of you as being not serious. Everytime you said you were going to give up, i thought you were serious, and i still think you were, but each time you found it within you to be able to keep fighting. That is one of the characteristics i was talking about, you have determination. The other things i said, beauty comes from the person you are. You are a person who is giving and kind. One example is how you hvae accepted me when most others havent. You are also strong, you keep confronting your vulnerabilities, and as i said, strength isnt the lack of feeling vulnerable, it is the willingness to confront those feelings. You are also brave, having gone to school and faced from what i hear lots of bigotyou ry over being in a relationship with Haley. Furthermore, you have helped me, Angel, Haley, Georgia, and im sure others as will in a innumerable amount of ways. That is where i got that stuff from. Now let me pose to you this question, how did you fuck up? As far as i can see, you have not made this stuff happen. You are not the reason you guys lost the home, you are not the one who made any of this happen. It just did. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, you do not have to be held accountable for everything bad that happens. You are not accountable for all the bad that happens. And that is how i was able to easily come to the conclusion that you are a good person who deserves good things. Life as you know is not always fair. Some people have very good lives with little misfortune and some very good people have lives chalk filled with tragedy. Life either way, though, is a path. Sometimes you are walking through a peaceful, calm forest and other times you are marching through treacherous, wind ravaged, sun blazen desert. Sometimes you make choices and they are sometimes right and sometimes wrong. The thing about wrong choices is that they can be fixed by learning from ones mistakes and they teach you a lot. A large extant of a persons character can be determined by how they face those deserts. You have, in the past, crossed every desert in front of you despite how large they are. It seems to me though that sometimes you discredit yourself as being screwed up because you struggle with eating healthly and cutting. That doesnt make you screwed up, it makes you Human. They are coping mechanisms. There is nothing screwed up about trying to handle a situation. In some views, they are even the logical coping mechanisms because they allow a sense of control when one feels a lack of it, but the natural problem becomes that the need to feel that temporary control ultimately leads to a loss of it. So it is something you have to try and beat, but it does not make you screwed up. Now as far as giving up goes. You said you no longer care about being a psychologist or school or any of it. To be honest, though, i think you still do, just they are things in the distant future that are not close enough to feel real, but what about the people that care about you and would be hurt by your loss? There are certain things one must consider before giving up. They often say that suicide is a "permenant solution to a temporary problem." i disagree, it could be a permenant solution to a permenant problem, but just because something is a permenant problem does not mean suicide is the right permenant solution. For example, if you have weak eyes, instead of suicide, one might consider glasses. Suicide is a solution that is final, a decision you cannot go back on, it is a point of no return. So for one to truly make that decision they must be certain of three things: one that they have absolutly nothing to live for and two that their problem is permenant and three that it is unfixable and unbearingly painful and hence suicide is the right option. So lets consider this from your point of view. Question one, do you have nothing to live for? At first, you might answer yes as you did in your diary entry, but i would like you to take a moment and look at your diaryland profile. How many names do you see their? How about looking at your notes, how many people care about you and want you to be ok? How many of those people do you care about back? How would it affect them if you did this? i think there you will find that the answer to the first question is no. The second question, is you problem permenant? Again, you have no way of being sure it is. There are a lot of people willing to help you and in the meanwhile, you guys are surviving. You do have some things you are working on, but you have defeated them in the past, and you can again in the future. People with eating disorders and who cut often stop and then relapse and think they have failed, but in reality the recovery process involves relapsing and beating it again and again and again, and gradually youll notice that this relapse is not as bad as the last, which in turn was not as bad as the previous one. Again i think for question two, your answer is no. That being said, question three is, is it unbearingly painful? In some sense you may answer this yes, though i remind you that all three questions must be yes for suicide to be a valid option, but i think you will eventually see this is a no. You have overcome so many things and i think you can overcome this too. You are a lot stronger than you think and you have the ability to keep fighting. Try to take it day by day, and it will be hard, but you will find that you can make it. That all being said, i wanted to remind you of a story that you may or may not have heard, it is called The Little Engine that Could and it goes like this: "A little steam engine had a long train of cars to pull. She went along very well till she came to a steep hill. But then, no matter how hard she tried, she could not move the long train of cars. She pulled and she pulled. She puffed and she puffed. She backed and started off again. Choo! Choo! But no! the cars would not go up the hill. At last she left the train and started up the track alone. Do you think she had stopped working? No, indeed! She was going for help. "Surely I can find someone to help me," she thought. Over the hill and up the track went the little steam engine. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo! Pretty soon she saw a big steam engine standing on a side track. He looked very big and strong. Running alongside, she looked up and said: "Will you help me over the hill with my train of cars? It is so long and heavy I can't get it over." The big steam engine looked down at the little steam engine. The he said: "Don't you see that I am through my day's work? I have been rubbed and scoured ready for my next run. No, I cannot help you," The little steam engine was sorry, but she went on, Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Soon she came to a second big steam engine standing on a side track. He was puffing and puffing, as if he were tired. "That big steam engine may help me," thought the little steam engine. She ran alongside and asked: "Will you help me bring my train of cars over the hill? It is so long and so heavy that I can't get it over." The second big steam engine answered: "I have just come in from a long, long run. Don't you see how tired I am? Can't you get some other engine to help you this time? "I'll try," said the little steam engine, and off she went. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! After a while she came to a little steam engine just like herself. She ran alongside and said: "Will you help me over the hill with my train of cars? It is so long and so heavy that I can't get it over." "Yes, indeed!" said this little steam engine. "I'll be glad to help you, if I can." So the little steam engines started back to where the train of cars had been standing. Both little steam engines went to the head of the train, one behind the other. Puff, puff! Chug, choo! Off they started! Slowly the cars began to move. Slowly they climbed the steep hill. As they climbed, each little steam engine began to sing: "I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I think I can - I think I can - I think I can I think I can--" And they did! Very soon they were over the hill and going down the other side. Now they were on the plain again; and the little steam engine could pull her train herself. So she thanked the little engine who had come to help her, and said good-by. And she went merrily on her way, singing: "I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I thought i could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could - I thought I could I thought I could --" THE END" You are like the little engine Danielle, you can make it, that is one of the things i can take a lot of pride in with you and that you can take in yourself. Throughout all your hardships you have fought to the god damn best of your ability and because of it you have made many great victories. So i know it seems hopeless and i know it doesnt seem worth it, but please keep fighting because you deserve better and you can get it some day. i hope this helps explain to you a bit what i see in you and where i got it from. i know even though i have given you the evidence a lot of it you might not agree with, but then i ask you this, how can you say me or Angel are good when we have some of the same problems? Just take some time to think about it ok? i love you Sister and i really hope you will decide to stay. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Dude, I have seriously never ever thougt that you weren't serious,or that you're repeating everythig over again, never. Each and every time you sayit, it's just as real, if not MORE real.. I can't do anything to help you, to make you happy, it can only come from you. But you have to know that I care for you, that I love you, no matter what you decide to do. You don't need to think about the future, your plans for psychology, meeting friends, getting a car, house or whatever. You just have to focus on living, and being yourself. Just take it all one step at a time. I am in love with you *hides from Haley* (not in a gay way! lol) and I want you to know that you'llbe ok. If you do decide to die.. I promise I'll fix everythign up that's left behind. I'll move to to America. I'll make sure you have everything perfect so you can be at peace. I'll take care of your brother, your mum, and I'll learn to look after Haley. I'll make everyone in your town come to your funeral, and there'll be lots of people all in black, but I'll make your friends and family wear BRIGHT colours so it can represent your beautiful soul, perfect heart, amazing smile. I'll do everything perfect. . . . I love you. Maybe you should right a will. That would be better,then I'd know what you want. Ok, you'll write one?? Oh crap. What if you're already dead? ..Um, it's ok (NOT THAT YOU'RE DEAD!!! but that you have not written a will). Um.. I love you so much. I really hope you're ok, and that someone closer to you will be able to change your mind. I love you so much. I miss you too. PLease don't die. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| the password's back to what it used to be. love you |
| from enurta : |
| N found out that I wanted to send you money, he read my notes by accident and got really upset about it. Because we don�t have much and we are drowning in credit card debt. He also got upset because I do not know you IRL�sorry about that. I wish I could help but I have to respect his opinion, he is the one making the money here, not me. Sorry. I hope I didn�t make you sad :( |
| from xeison : |
| This is a response to your last few entries. First of all, im really sorry that you have been having the voices again. i wish i could tell you some easy fix for them, but as we both know, there isnt really one. There are only really two things you cant do at the moment, which is to treat the voices as though they were a person in the sense of you wouldnt listen to some random person if they told you those things and two, to remember that you are better than they are. i know that is hard to remember sometimes, but you really are, and you may not believe it, but it is true. You dont need them, you are better than them, and you can beat them. You should also try asking the psychiatrist about it next time and see if the Seroquel dosage can be uped to help a bit. As for your tooth, im no dentist, and you may have had your appointment already, but my guess is this, when you throw up, it brings up your gastric fluids (Stomach acids) as well and those acids wear away at your teeth, especially the enamels (Part neer the gum. You may not have hit it, but all the throwing up you have done may have affected it. im glad that you were able to fix the situation with the "dickhead kid." i know right now seems like the end, you had quoted the lyrics from Linkin Park's "In the End," but it really isnt the end yet. You have tried hard and made it so far and can still make it further. You are in a very tough ituation at the moment, but that doesnt mean your efforts didnt matter, on the contrary, all your accomplishments are still just as valid, and you cannot kill yourself because it isnt over yet. Its a tough situation, but you guys will find a way to get through it, and ill try finding someway for you guys to get out of it too, but in the meanwhile, you have to keep trying, you cant give up. Also, you are strong, for some reason you dont believe it, i think in part you are defining strength as the absence of being vulnerable, but that isnt true. Strength isnt the absence of being vulnerable, it is the willingness to face those feelings and being able to confront them, which is something you have always done. You thinking suicidal thoughts is not the worst thing in the world, but acting on those thoughts would be bad because you deserve better. In the end, the question of why is life worth living is a valid question, but in order to have a valid answer you need to decide what you want to get out of life, and everyone has something even if it is temporarly forgotten, and that is what you live for. You have a valid reason, well actually many valid reasons, to feel the way you do and it isnt a crime for you to feel that way or have those thoughts, but please dont act on them. There are things worth living for. As for school, i think it is something important for you to do, but i dont nessecarly think you need to do it now, so if you dont feel you will feel comfortable at that school, then it make sense for you to drop out until you guys are in a better situation. And as i said before having panic attacks does not make you weak, the fact that you confront them and deal with them makes you a very strong person. As for the situation you are in at the moment, as Enurta said, is there an program for public housing there? i know she would expect a bit more out of the social services because in Sweden, from what i hear, they have much stronger welfare programs, but here too you should be able to find some place to stay for some time. You guys should talk to the guys who issue your food stamps and see if they can refer you to a public housing agency or some other place for shelter. im sorry if im being redundant and telling you to do things you have already done, but if you havent, please ask you Mother to do it. As for the other having 8,000 suicidal thoughts per day, i hold the same philosophy on that, thoughts are not a crime and the other one has valid reasons for their thoughts, assuming we are talking about the same person, but they should not act on it for the answer to the question you posed, what they wish to get out of life. im glad you enjoyed your concert by HIM. There is nothing wrong with you, you are going through a hard time, the feeling shitty and the mood swings and loss of appettite are perfectly rational. They are a valid reaction to the situation. There is nothing wrong with you. That said, please try to take care of yourself, it really is important, dont let this destroy you, because you can beat this. Also, you shouldnt feel bad about the money, i understand feeling like a charity case, but the reason we give you the money is because we care about you. Charity is giving help to a random person that you dont particularly care about, we are not giving you charity, we are trying to help out someone we love who is in a rough situation. It is something families do for each other. As for grades, grades mean nothing about how smart someone is, they are just how well you perform on school work, which in the grand scheme of things is probably pretty minor compared to the other things you need to deal with right now, so neglecting school work is a smart decision in itself which makes sense. You are smart Danielle and you dont need grades to prove it. You are smart; you are strong; you are beautiful; and you are right, you are more than a good person, you are an amazing person. There is no argument against that, you have made rational decisions, you have complex thoughts, you get good grades when you have the time to, you put full effort into doing things, you are a kind person with a good heart, you are very beautiful, and you are willing to confront your feelings. You are truly an incredible person Danielle, and i know you dont believe it, but it is a fact, please try to see it and remember it. As for the last thing you said, about wanting to disappear and having not existed, that is also a rational feeling, but whether this makes you angry or not, i am glad that you existed and are someone i have the honour of being a Friend and Brother with. You mean a lot to me and i love you, i am glad that you exist. One last thing, is there any place i can mail something to you to get it to you. i wont be able to mail it for a few days, but if there is anyway i can get it to you, please tell me. Also, can you tell Angel that i love her for me? i love you Danielle, please take good care of yourself. |
| from writergrrl88 : |
| Okay -- I sent you an e-mail with it ... if you don't get it, e-mail me at [email protected] |
| from enurta : |
| what is IDK? I don't think we have that here. Since I am living in another country. You need a bank account. And about school, if school is making you so miserable, why don't you drop out? I dropped out. You need help, the social services HAVE to give you money if you are sick. And if you're not sick, have you tried working? Maybe working would make you feel better? You would be making your own money, maybe you would feel better. I don't know :/ |
| from enurta : |
| Ok...but can�t the social services help? Can�t they get you guys a place to stay? Money? Food stamps? I would still like to help. See it as a Christmas gift, from me to you and your family. Can you talk to the bank about that stuff I asked you about? Of course only if you want to. Do don�t anything you do not want to do. I understand. |
| from writergrrl88 : |
| Thanks! I haven't updated my d-land in years ... but if you have a LJ name, I'll gladly friend you there (which is where I'm updating these days). :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I agree. You need to keep your pets. I think it's weird that they can have dogs there but not cats. Usually it is the opposite. Hm. I won the novel writing contest because I made it to 50,000 words last night. :) Very exciting! |
| from enurta : |
| Ok. I�m sorry I�m spamming you right now but I need some information. I spoke to my bank. And all I need is your full name, account number, the name of your bank, and something called swift-code or bic-code or something called fed wire, it�s some sort of number. It�s something you have to ask your bank about. So please. Let me help you. I promise I won�t let you down. |
| from enurta : |
| Or maybe we don�t need paypal�maybe I can wire some money to your account? I am going to call my bank today and ask how to wire money to the US. But it is important that it�s YOUR account and not Linda�s or someone elses�I want to give YOU that money and not so someone else. They are only for you. And you can do whatever you want with it. So there. Leave me a note or e-mail me, you know my e-mail, right? You can send me a text message if you like, my cell phone number is 46736343977, you can text me at any time and don�t worry that number is right. 46 is what you dial when you are calling from another country to Sweden. You can even call me if you like. But e-mail me or leave me a note or something. Go to the bank, create a new bank account just for you if you do not already have one. I promise to send you some money every month. I don�t have much but I would be happy to help. <3 |
| from enurta : |
| Sweetie. Can you create a paypal account at http://www.paypal.com so I can send you some money? Please. Do it, I would like to send you some money, I don�t have much but is 100 dollars okay??? I want to help you. Can you accept my help? I love you. <3 |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I know it's hard. I can empathize, I can understand. I know what it's like to just want to die, to go off and kill yourself. Just try to hang on. What is your living situation now? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| dude the ONE picture of 2 ribs (you fool) were posted yonks ago! and I'll take it down if you wish. You'll never loose me over drugs (or over anything) so do not worry about it. I have integrity. and I have made a promise that we'll meet one day, so I'll keep it. I love you so much. Don't fucking forget it. |
| from writergrrl88 : |
| It seems we have several mutual friends on D-land. I update mostly on LJ these days, but would love to read you. May I have the username/passcode? |
| from enurta : |
| shit, n did something to the computer...installed firefox or something now the user/pass to your diary is lost. can you please send it to me again? |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Please, Danielle. Don't leave this world. I love you too much. And I'm sorry you got evicted. |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Hey!!! :-D Ya we did. Over a month ago hehe. I love him. How are you? xoxoxo love ya |
| from enurta : |
| I am so sorry that you are evicted. but you have to live...remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and you are STRONG, so fucking strong. you can do this. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hey, thanks for the notes. So sorry you're broke too. :( As for the memoir, I'll let you read it as soon as my therapist gives the OK. She is having me hold off for awhile on letting people read it. |
| from enurta : |
| you are so beautiful! and your dogs are so cute...and you're admirer!! omg, he's adorable!!!!!!! |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry the computer deleted the message. Um, may i ask what pills Angel is taking, is it still Celexa? She hasnt been eating again, was that what she tried to hide? im glad that overall she is doing great. Also, i wanted to say something about one of your entires. i know you said not to lecture you on this and that is not my intent, but just remember, and i understand your desire to make sure you are doing it for you, that everyone needs help sometimes. It is Human nature, we evolved and social creatures and we rely on others to survive. That being said, i think you will be successful. i wont break your rules any further. Um, please dont worry about me, im fine, really. i just, i sort of lost control, he took over, and i guess he locked me in the room and did what he always does. im fine though, so please dont worry about me. i love you too. |
| from enurta : |
| Please�don�t give up. You are far too precious� <3 |
| from tttragic : |
| well, one, i didn't think anyone ever read. and two, i was trying to write an entry in my other dl that is kinda a private one? and for some reason it posted here. |
| from enurta : |
| Nobody is perfect�I know you�re mad at your dad but have you ever thought of forgiving him? I forgave mine, even though he didn�t say he was sorry�he is your dad. I think you need him in your life. But in the end, it�s your decision to make. But I still think you should give him a chance. He is obviously sick, and he needs help. I think you both need each other but that is just my opinion. I don�t know what he has done to you in the past, you can tell me if you feel like venting. I just want what�s best for you. I love you <3 |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Happy anniversary! |
| from enurta : |
| i am so sorry about what is happening right now. i wish i could help. can't the social services help? maybe you are better off without Linda? she fucking slapped you, that's wrong. she shouldn't be hurting you. what happened to your uncle Jim? do you have any other relatives you can stay with??? an uncle, an aunt? grandmother? someone? |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Thanks. :) I try. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Where are you going to live? |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry, i had some problems. How have you been? It doesnt sound like you guys have been doing so well? Is Angel out of the hospital? i love you both too. |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry, i had some problems. How have you been? It doesnt sound like you guys have been doing so well? Is Angel out of the hospital? i love you both too. |
| from enurta : |
| Nobody is perfect. We all have flaws...some are worse than others. But people that say to their children that they are going to hell�.I think THEY are going to hell. If hell exists. Maybe hell is here on earth? Maybe this is hell? Are you happy? I�m not. I should be, but I�m not. If you are going to hell�than I am going to hell too. But never think that you have to change yourself, if you are gay, then you are, it�s your life. I don�t think it�s wrong to love another person. It doesn�t really matter if it�s a boy or a girl, if you love someone, you love someone. Don�t let Linda get to you. I don�t know why she is saying those things to you but you shouldn�t listen. And to be honest, I don�t believe in hell. I believe there is something out there, I don�t want to call that power God but there is something powerful and beautiful out there�it�s the wind, the fire, the earth, the water�I think that is �god�. I believe in nature. I believe in the wiccan God and Goddess, have you read about it? Wicca is a beautiful religion and it makes most sense�to me at least. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I'm glad you've stoped sayng I have an e.d, you have woken up! lol :P *hugs you* We don't have food vouvhers over hear, so I guess it's a replacement for the 'doll' over hear, which is where the government pays for the stuff people need to life from for some people. How much are the vouchers worth? How much can you get? Do you knwo of any foods that will be allowed through costoms? Obviously not fruit and vegies, but do you know of other stuff? I knwo what you mean about the food. Like, it's yummy, but when you have it all the time, you get sick of it, inside and out. What sort of "healthy" food do you like? When we're together, I'll cook really nice food for you, for us :) Lol, I can cook, but it doesn't always look like it taste nice...sometimes it doesn't even taste nice, but anyway. I'll try :P What else did I have to reply to? Oh, don't worry abotu that annoying kid. I assume he's younger than you?? Well, that combined with being a BOY, says it all sweetie! It's weird, and unexplainable.. the young man's thoughts and desires, who knows what his motives are, so for now, just leave the crazy mofo. I bet he likes you. You did crazy things to Haley when you liked her, we all do it in some way, so this is his, I guess :P lol Anyway, you don't needa thank me for the "nice" stuff that I wrote in my diary, I just felt compelled to say I loved you :) OMG! lol I would so freak out if you kissed me, on the lips. Man.. *shakes head* I would have no idea what I'd do. Probably pull away? But not because I don't want you to, just because I've not kissed a girl on the lips since last year, or longer, and I kiss girls differently to guys. I'll practise with a baloon lol :P Anyway, what on Earth do you mean about thi s 3some? What the bloody heck is going on there? You said it doesn't sound as bad as you said it, but sweetie, I'm sure there's somethign ceedy going on, so give me all the goss!!! =D Oh, and I'm sure it will make it easier for Angel to get better with her e.d btw :) Make her something nice for tea one day, ok? I dunno, a nice salad? :) How much does she usually eat? Do you have tim tams over in America? <33333333333333333333 |
| from enurta : |
| sweetie...you need to stop binging and purging, you need to stop starving and you need to stop drinking. I know how you feel, I know what it's like to hate your body...but it's not worth it. try to take care of yourself, if not for you, for the ones that love you. i love you. a lot of people do. and we don't want you to hurt yourself. you are beautiful and you deserve better! look at yourself in the mirror and defy the voice that tells you that you are a bad girl, say to her, 'you know what? I am beautiful, I am smart, I don't need you. SHUT THE FUCK UP!'. That is what I tell my voices everyday, even if I still hear them, I don't listen, and I don't believe what they tell me. Because I know the truth. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| You don't need to make yourself look happy. Angel, of all people, know what it's like, so just tell her to be kind and supportive at this stage. If she can't be, then you'll just have to keep open about your feeling to me and Haley :] |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I love you. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| oh, and btw, when can you get more food for your house? And why can't you eat at lunch times?? :( |
| from razornotes00 : |
| How far away is atlanta from where you live? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Nah it's ok about the letter. When you are feeling better you can get round to it :] |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I ment 1500, not 1550, oops |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I knew right from when you wrote about having 1550 cals per day, that it wouldn't be ok for you. Counting callories really create obsession. It wears you out. I have gone through phases of calorie counting, and for a while it was ok, but then it became everything. Just as it is for you, so maybe you should just drop it and find somethign else? I have heaps of diet books and stuff that I can send over if you would like? Maybe they could he better than calorie counting. Who suggested this anyway? Your councellor? Maybe you should tell her to help you find something different. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| It scared me too, which is why I won't ever do it again. I made a promise to God, and when I make a promise to him, there's no way I can break it. Dude. About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I weighed 71kg and I thought I was looking pretty skinny. Until Nicky was like "You're fat but it's ok you only need to loose 3kg." At the start of this year I weighed 63kg. Ok? See, I've always said I weigh less, like 60kg or whatever. I dunno. !45 pounds or something? Well I did for a while, but then I didn't. And it's not as if I starve myself to be 55kg. I honestly could never starve myself. I am addicted to sugga! >.< I can't explain it Danielle. I guess it has just "fallen" off me. But I am going to gain it all back (can you believe I said that??) to 65kg so I can just be healthy. Guess what?? Even today, Debbie told me that I was big boned when we were walking together. Dude, I am 55kg but I am still a size fucking 14! See? That's another thing. I have always said I was a size 12, which I was, but then I piled on the weight in the past few months and I'm a 14 now. See? Last year I was a size 10 and 8. Now I'm size 14. I want you to knwo that I do not have an eating disorder. I eat too much a lot of the time, and mostly it is stuff that I shouldn't eat. Like, I've had a lot of chocolate this week. And I hardly excersie anymore. So dude. Give it a week and I'll be back to being over weight. I put it on real fast. You don't really know how fat I am Danielle. When you see my real body, you'll know that I am a little bit bigger than a proper weight, ok? I am not lying. For example. This morning I put on these trackie pants and they're fucking tight!!! See?! Hmp. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Sweetie, you need to hang in there. And if your body is telling you to stop throwing up and start eating, then do it. You don't want to die with your head over the toilet, that's for sure. Listen to the nice-girl voice. In DBT, it's called your "wise mind". So listen to your wise mind. The more you listen, the louder she speaks. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Pretty? Gosh.. There's this girl at my school who looks exactly like you (sept not as feminine or beautiful) and everytime I see her i wanna cry because she's so wonderful. All I think of is you when i see her. I want to talk to her the same way I talk to you. When I see her I think she knows everythign about me and I know everything about her. Dudde. I can't really explain it. But yeah, she's a LESS pretty virsion of you, and I think she's stunning!! So that means you're like, DOUBLE STUNNING!! lol ya get me?? Do yeah. I have always thought you were beautiful, so I just want to you know that. I love you! Dude, 800cals is toooo not enough. You need more. You also said that you have ed problems when things are GOOD.. did I read that correctly? Can you explain that to me a bit more please, if you don't mind? ...AH! LETTERS!!!??!?! You better have one for me Danielle!!!! *nealry pisses pants from excitment* Anyway, I love you. We have to get tattoos one day, together. <333333333333333 I love you always, and and and FOREVER!!!! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hey... you ARE very pretty. Really. You are. And I think Lochia (excuse me if I spelled her name wrong) is an awesome therapist. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yep. 1500 is a good number for healthy people to have. I hope it won't spark any calorie obsessiveness though. So dont get upset or too strickt with it, ok? I love you. Oh, and dude, I do not have an e.d. If I did my mum would've put me in a hospital and I would be skinny. So you can be quiet and stop saying that stuff now. What was I gonna say? Oh..! =D I totally get how you mean you're invisable and you feel asthoughyou're not inside yourself. It'll pass and you'll feel happier soon :] Don't worry. I love you so much!! |
| from enurta : |
| Hey sweetie. How are you doing? Thanks for writing me a letter...I don't remember your e-mail address though, can you send me a note and write your e-mail address in it so I can send you the information you need? I hope you are okay..haven't read your diary in a couple of days, going to read it as soon as I am done with this note. Love you. /enurta |
| from razornotes00 : |
| You should have chosen me for the paper, but ya know... FINE!!!! Anyway, I am really happy, like, so happy that you came home and did all that stuff, and totally were the best little kid in the world! I wanna thank you for doing it all and yeah. I love you so much!!!! Good on ya! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Ever heard of exercise? and wait for it.......WATER!!!!! Dude, it's safer, faster and healthier for you to loose weight! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Yeah, the guy who said I looked like a dude really is a dickhead indeed. And now I just caught him saying that I look like a dude behind my back- so he's a double dickhead now. I told him to shut the fuck up and get some manners! |
| from evangeline06 : |
| awww, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad or angry. And do NOT apologize. It's all my own doing. Oh and thanks for the offer, but you don't need to go through all that trouble just for me. Believe me, I'm far from worth it. So, thanks for being on here for me. It means more to me than you'll ever know! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Thanks. :) |
| from roamany : |
| it's lucky/strike. Sorry babe, thought ya had it - m |
| from painted-eyes : |
| I hope so for your sake, but I'm the pessimist over here...20-years-old and still stuck dealing with my family crap. |
| from painted-eyes : |
| Aw, sweetheart, sounds shitty all around. :( |
| from painted-eyes : |
| Hey, you, I definitely will...And is Angel okay? She called me and I was out with my family. |
| from xeison : |
| i am trying Danielle it is true. You have nothing to thank me for Danielle, i just gave you what is already yours. i need to talk to you, so ill leave a longer note tommorow, i cant today because they are really upset with me, but ill try tommorow. Please take care of yourself though ok? i love you. |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| I love you.I'm sorry that I can be an ass sometimes.Actually I'm sorry that I can be an ass the majority of the time.It's like I'm a guy.That's horrible isn't it?It is.I love you more then anything though.You're my hero!^-^ |
| from painted-eyes : |
| Oooer, it worked. |
| from painted-eyes : |
| YAAAY. Now I can bitch about math in a bigger font if I so desire! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| LOSER! The phone still hasn't been cut off. Maybe they forgot.... ? =) |
| from enurta : |
| im sorry about everything that is happening to you. but have you thought that maybe they don't want to control you? maybe they want to help you! i understand why you don't want to go to church but I think there is a higher power out there, we don't have to call that power 'god' but something out there exists and helps us. please don't kill yourself. a lot of people need you, sweetie! |
| from getinline : |
| Aw, sweetie :( I'm sorry that happened to you, but in a way I'm glad, too. They're assholes for thinking they can control you and not trusting you to take care of yourself, but no one wants to see you do anything you might not be able to recover from. Anyway...yep, vodka is def. delicious. And most beer makes me want to puke, but Coors Light I could actually stand. Some rum is okay - Liz and I used to drink Captain Morgan and Dr. Pepper like it was water. It's pretty yummy. And Tequila? Where do I begin! I only recently started drinking it but I love it. Doesn't take too much to get me fuckered up :) You and your friends should def. have a margarita party sometime. Stay well!! |
| from painted-eyes : |
| Hey, hon, take care of yourself! I'm not trying to scold you, but Angel told me what happened in the last few days, and I care about both of you, and I want you to stay safe. You living is a pretty big deal, hon. Don't just give up on yourself because it's easier. Call if you need anything! Angel's got my number. <3 |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| No.I wrote that yesterday before we had out talk and you know I would never be serious about any of that stuff.Don't pull that shit on me.Ya know, it's great how you can say that it would be better if you just died and talk about killing yourself and I'm supposed to deal with that and just accept it but when I say anything like that you get mad at me for it.>=[ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I will look up Thin. No, don't worry about writting a letter. Just say whatever you want over e-mail, myspace or notes. I don't get how being mean to someone will help you move on, but if it's what you truly think needs to be done, then go do it. I love you. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I saw 'Thin'. I watched it on youtube the other day. I liked it a lot, although it was kind of triggering seeing the girls' weights and such on the scale. Oh well. And, hey, if you want my phone number, send me an email. It's [email protected] and if you'll give it to me I want your number too. What's your last name again? I can't remember. Mine's Wallner. :) |
| from forgetmexx : |
| username: friend password: greentree yours? |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hm... I sure hope Friday's the day we have sex. That would rock. :) We haven't discussed exactly what day it'll be. I'll just have to let him know on Friday that, you know, I really want to have sex that day. I get all nervous just thinking about it! And I know that, because I'm a virgin, it's going to hurt like hell, but I don't care, because I'll be with him and he's very gentle. |
| from painted-eyes : |
| Just to let you know, my tone was not that of annoyance, it was that of apathy. There's a huge difference there. I didn't mean to come across as I did, and I apologize to you for that, but I'm still learning to accept other people's kindnesses. AT least I'm still breathing, and I'm actually grateful to be alive, as surreal as that feeling is right now. I'm working on changing, on getting better. |
| from painted-eyes : |
| Um, that was supposed to be a heart at the end. =/ |
| from painted-eyes : |
| Danielle, You weren't mean by any standards. I tried to explain to Angel, I was just an awful state of mind, so if I was treating you like shit, it wasn't an intentional thing. You are a very sweet girl, and I'm okay now...Not "all better", but I'm okay now. At least, a bit more stable. Yesterday, I was looking at everything as a potential way towards suicide. (You can delete this note if it makes you uncomfortable.) And don't leave me alone...please? I really like all the support I can get, even if I don't show that well. �� |
| from enurta : |
| I know you already probably know this but you shouldn't drink when you're taking meds...it's dangerous :/ <3 love you |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I didn't know you could get slammed and not have it last at least all day or something? This one time I was drinking with kate when she was pericing my ears, I was really happy for a little while (like an hour and a bit) then I was normal. ??? . Anyway, what's the "lay down"?? I love you Xx |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Thank you. Thank you for understanding. I'm sorry you do, because I don't want anybody to feel the pain that I do, but I am glad that I am not alone. "I will be there for you like a candle in the water, and I will share with you, whether or not I ought to." -Gina Holsopple, "Reach Out" |
| from thatgirlx : |
| My feet are cold and I can't sleep and I feel like shit and I'm all alone in this creepy ass house and if you're girlfriend doesn't get here soon I'm gonna go ballistic and jam a fucking pen into my eye.... I mean... um... I LOVE YOU and I'll see you after your underage ass gets out of school..... :) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Sorry for that. Take the most advantage of your new psychologist. It sounds liek you two like eachother, so that is good :] Who cares if only a handful of people say you're pretty? You don't knwo what people are thinking. There's a heap of pepole that think you're pretty. People saying you're pretty doesn't make you who you are. It's just a word, Without all the meaning added to it. Just do what you can. Be strong for yourself. I love you. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I typed in your dxxdesign thingo, but it didn't show up, so I just googled dland layouts, and that one was there. None of the others were yours. What happened to those layouts I saw ages ago in a diary?? Wasit the one in yours and Haleys diary, or another? So, NERRR! Don't say I don't like your layouts because there was only one!!! and I don't even fucking know if that's yours!!!!!!!!!! >.< *pushes you* I love you |
| from razornotes00 : |
| <html> <head> <TITLE>make believe</TITLE> <style type="text/css"> body {scrollbar-face-color: #000000; scrollbar-highlight-color: #000000; scrollbar-3dlight-color: #666666; scrollbar-shadow-color: #666666; scrollbar-arrow-color: #aaaaaa; scrollbar-track-color: #000000; scrollbar-darkshadow-color: #000000; background-color: #000000; background-repeat: no-repeat; font-color: white; cursor: default} a:link {text-decoration: underline; font-weight: none; color: #aaaaaa;} a:visited {text-decoration: underline; font-weight: none; color: #aaaaaa;} a:hover {text-decoration: underline; font-weight: none; cursor: default; filter:flipv(color:#aaaaaa, strength=3);height:0px;width:inherit} a:active {text-decoration: underline; font-weight: none; color: #aaaaaa;} i {color: #aaaaaa} b {color: #aaaaaa} u {color: #aaaaaa} strike {color: #aaaaaa} </style> </head> <body> <body background="http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n75/x-dani-x_06/anything_for_you.png"> <div id="blocks" style="border: #666666 solid 1px; position: absolute; background-color: #; letter-spacing: 0pt; left: 40px; top: 485px; width: 345px; height: 20;"> <font size="2pt";> <face="courier new"><font color= #666666><center><a href="/index.html"onMouseover="window.status='newest'; return true" onMouseout="window.status=''; return true">new</a> - <a href="/older.html" onMouseover="window.status='archives'; return true" onMouseout="window.status=''; return true">old</a> - <a href="http://members.diaryland.com/edit/profile.phtml?user=USERNAME"? onMouseover="window.status='profile'; return true" onMouseout="window.status=''; return true">profile</a> - <a href="http://members.diaryland.com/edit/notes.phtml?user=USERNAME"onMouseover="window.status='notes'; return true" onMouseout="window.status=''; return true">notes</a> - <a href="http://members.diaryland.com/edit/random.phtml?user=USERNAME"onMouseover="window.status='random'; return true" onMouseout="window.status=''; return true">random</a> - <a href="mailto:[email protected]?subject=EMAIL SUBJECT" onMouseover="window.status='email'; return true" onMouseout="window.status=''; return true">email</a> - <a href="/rings.html"onMouseover="window.status='rings'; return true" onMouseout="window.status=''; return true">rings</a> - <a href="http://www.diaryland.com"onMouseover="window.status='diaryland'; return true" onMouseout="window.status=''; return true">host</a> - <a href="http://dxxdesigns.diaryland.com"onMouseover="window.status='design'; return true" onMouseout="window.status=''; return true">design</a> </center></font size> </div> <div id="short" style="background: #; padding: 10px; border: 1px #666666 solid; position: absolute; background-color: #; letter-spacing: 0pt; font-color: white; left: 443px; top: 2px; width: 322; height: 505; overflow: auto;"><font face= "courier new"> <font size= 2pt; color="#aaaaaa"><b>%%short_description%%</b><br>%%date%% - %%time%%</font></p> <font size= 2pt; color=#666666><br>%%entry%%<br><br><font color= #666666> <center><a href=index.html><<<</a> -- <a href=061202_42.html>>>></a><br>____________________________<br><u>Last 5</u><br><font size= 1pt>%%older_entries%%</div> </BODY></HTML> |
| from razornotes00 : |
| This was the only good one I could find. They're all shit-tacular! : |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Ok, fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yeah, I have noticed for a while now that my hate isn't CONSTANTLY for me, it's other people too. Like, sometimes I say "I want to kill her/him/someone." So yeah. PLease stop hitting your mum. Regardless of what she's done, you should not do it. It could make everythign worse. She could hit you back and you could get amd and hurt eachother, or hat eher more. She might take you to court or something. I wish I could feel numb when I drink, like you do. It doesn't work much for me. Like, I might laugh a tiny bit, at things that are already funny, and I get the next day. How come I don't get numb? Or loose "inhibitance" and want to root someone? lol Oh well. Back to your mum; Yuo can't be the one who makes people suffer Danielle, I know you don't believe me, and I am not tryna make you believe me, but just leave it alone. god will deal with her. But if you are the one who tried to make her suffer, then God will deal with you. I want you to be the one who's safe, so please don't hurt your mum. She'll piss off one day and fee bad, just give it time. |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| Yeah but it's not my fault it shattered into a billion tiny pieces.... |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| Dear Danielle, Here's a note.Now stop bitching about people never leaving you notes because I just left you one.I love you.*waits to be smacked* |
| from xeison : |
| Thank you so much *HUGS*. i love you too. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Why can't you tell your new person about the drinking? You may aswell be honest right from the start Danielle, it'll work better for you if ya are. I love you so much xxx |
| from getinline : |
| Just from what you've written, I don't think you're being naive about Haley hurting you. I don't think she would either, but that is scary that she maybe could. I hope her meds get worked out, and I'm glad that you guys talked it out :) Sorry Linda's being such a...well, you know. I really hope she doesn't get back with Jesse, and that things begin to get better. Take care of yourself! |
| from getinline : |
| Well, I have another myspace, but it isn't really related to this diary at all. Is it okay if I add you as a friend? |
| from getinline : |
| Okay, this is random but what is your myspace again? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Haha loser, I looooooooooove you too! |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| What if I have to get locked up in a mental hospital again to help fix that though?O.o |
| from getinline : |
| omg, I feel so weird saying this, but...I almost cried when I read your post about the engagement. I'm so happy for you! I had to stop reading and write you this note, so I hope nothing's changed since then, lol. And your kittens are too cute! Okay, I'm going to finish reading now :) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Ok, I understand now :] So you need to stop trying to fix her and all, it's time to get the professionals in. Just have faith in the docters, because if you have faith, then it'll waer off on her and she'll believe too, ok? So as soon as possible you need (you and or ya mum) to get her into some sort of councelling and she needs medication. I think there's something more wrong with her head than just depression, or something. Can u please delete this coz i don't want her to see it and think I'm bitching. I love you! |
| from getinline : |
| Thanks for your sweet note :) I know what you mean about Liz...I don't know why she does this shit, but we've been friends practically our whole lives, and it's so hard to just let that go, ya know? Anyway...I promise I'll let you see a picture soon. I haven't caught up on any of your entries, but I now have my own computer so I will soon. Bye, love :) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yeah, but you laughed when I told you about it, so I thought you were thinking I wasn't serious. It still feels weird that you guys know. But thanks for not ditching me coz of it.. Anyway, wtf is up with Angel? I can't do anything for her? Shit sake Danielle, get in her head.. make her feel really happy, ok? Please? I love you so much! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| SLACKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| And, no, I haven't deleted my MySpace, and certainly haven't deleted you as a friend. I'm not real active on MySpace anymore. |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Hello dear! It's a long story. But Cass and I broke up. And now everyone has their personal opinion for me... and I hate it. It's too hard. I'm just trying to find myself again and breathe. But ya how have you been? I hope all is well. Love ya!!!!! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hey, can I see pictures of your animals? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| "I have been thrown a life preserver in the midst of a tidal wave, and I intend to make my way back to shore. My gift back will be what I make of my life once I reach the shore. Words cannot express my gratitude. I'm not going to drown after all." -found this in someone's diary. It's inspirational, just thought you'd like to read it <3 |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Your neighbors, minus Tiffany and her aunt, are stupid. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I love you no matter how much you weigh. <3 |
| from enurta : |
| your puppy is adorable. is aida a girls name??? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| omg!!! $100 per week!!!! SHIT! I know he hasn't paid you what you need, but dude! whoa! lol Does that money go directly to you or do you have to use it for board, food, clothes etc? If you saved it up you could come over here!!!! aahhahahahahahahhahaha! =D Anyway, please keep me updated wiht Angel. I am worried about her and all that. Like, she won't tell me nefin so I gotta ask you, ok? Ok. :[ sorry about your mum :[ If she did leave would you really be happy? Like, truly? Remember when you lived wiht Uncle FuckFace and you missed her and wished you had a good relationship with her? Well, won't you feel like that again if she leaves? :[ It's really good that you care about her to not want her to spend time with Jesse. Just let her know, senseirly, once more that you care and you don't want Jesse screwing with her, then leave it up to her. Can't say ya didn't try then. I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Don't. Smoke. Fags. I. Don't. Like. It. (i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| You're such a dork. Now wake the fuck up cause I'm BORED! |
| from enurta : |
| wow! a puppy! omg. i love puppies!! (who doesn't?) is the puppy getting along with your cats? My cats hated my puppy so we couldn't keep him... :( post pics of the puppy! PLEASE! or better yet, send me pics of all your animals. I have to dwarf hamsters, forgot to send you a pic of them but maybe you have seen them in my diary? <3 |
| from enurta : |
| You think I'm beautiful? Thanks...I wish I could see it. I don't feel beautiful at all. You are beautiful! I saw your pics yesterday I think...I like your piercings :) And just tell me when you want to send me the letter so I can give you my address. Love you!!! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hey, let your doctor know that the Seroquel makes you exhausted. There are other anti-psychotics that do not cause such extreme fatigue, like Abilify. I'm on that one, and I love it- well, as much as you can love a medication. :) |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Yeah, I was updating my buddy list and all of a sudden, when I changed it, half of my buddies disappeared, including you! So I had to put everybody back in, with new comments. I thought that quote from your diary was kind of funny, so I put that one in. :) |
| from enurta : |
| yeah i sent pics. a pic of me and one of the cats :) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| are you lctose intollerent??!? =D I am!! Well... mildly.. I love love you |
| from enurta : |
| lactose intolerant? have you ever had soy ice-cream? it's great, almost better than real ice-cream...love you! <3 (the woman at the post office said you will receive my letter next week) yay! |
| from x-dead-x : |
| no sorry. you're not allowed. That bitch is mine to torture and kill. teehee! |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| I'ma stop hurting myself.I know that it's only hurting you when I do it.I didn't do it yesterday even though I wanted to.I'll try not to do it anymore.I love you. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| This is gonna be too late of a suggestion, but you should write down what you want to talk about and give the list to the new person. That way you don't have to SAY it outloud and it will make the recovery faster, and easier if you just get things out. I did that a couple times at the instatute. It worked. Don't hurt yourself. Please don't, I begg you. If you do, then you'll have broken your promise to yourself. I love you. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| get better dude. I miss you. |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| Are you at home?You're not here and I'm scared.I love you, Dani. |
| from enurta : |
| I'm so sorry you feel that way. I wish I could go over to your house with ice-cream so we could watch funny movies and eat ice-cream all day. I love you...lots of people love you. remember that. <3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yeah, whenever I see the rapist he and nicky always say I'm never off the pooter. I'm glad mum doesn't though. I've noticed that you have started calling your mum Linda again :S :[ Do you still love her? About her feeling depressed.. only she can decide that. If she thinks she feels that way, then it's ok. Don't let it annoy you or upset you. Remember how the voice went away for a little while?? How did you get it to go away? Maybe you should repeate whatever you tried before. Or or or God forbidd you WRITE a letter to me when the voice comes back lol :P *hugs you really tight* Don't listen do it. It's just a stupid stupid stupid mean mean mean mean NASTY!!!!! I love you <3 |
| from painted-eyes : |
| whatever, how about a tie?? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| P.S I knew entrua was the other person you wang chong! You didn't get the joke :[ I was acting like I knew entrua was sending you another letter, and I wasn't gonna, and that I never wrote you one. That was all in ya head. :] Get it now? Looser. I <3 U |
| from razornotes00 : |
| It's not too hard Danielle. One day at a time, ok, just take it one day at a time. Panick attacks can't be stopped once they start, but when you feel one coming on, try go to a quiet place just to sit down until it's over. Everything will be ok Dani. You can get help. Sometimes ya gotta move round a bit to find the right help, but you'll get it. I love you so much. Chin up sweetie! |
| from painted-eyes : |
| Ah, you're lame,but I <3 you!!! She is so sexable so there, my girlfriend kicks your girlfriend's ASS! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| *introductory cough* I didn't know they had ZOLOFT in America *raises eyebrows* I thought it was just here. So yeah, I got put on that. It takes a very very long while to get used to because I didn't find it as strong as others. It makes you feel sick for a while. I asked my docter when he first gave it to me if I'd put on or loose weight and he said neither (but i put it on, not coz of the pills though. just a method of coping :[) so there'll be no weight changes. How come it helps people with bulimia?? so yeah.. just a warning: it's not all it's cracked up to be. But it could totaly work for you! everyone's different! :] so good on ya for throwing the food at your mum lol I can so imagine you doing that. Now, shit sake!! Is Angel back or what!?!??!?! You haven't said anything about her and noone has told me on myspaz when I asked them *looks at you* Lucky girl, 2 letter!! Whoa. *hides mine* Who's the other person who's sending the letter?? Lol, you're prolly imagining it sweety.. Anyway I love you!! *eveil laugh* |
| from enurta : |
| I received your e-mail. I'm going to send the letter tomorrow as soon as I wake up...I have to go to sleep now...it's late here... 01:16 am....haha :P |
| from enurta : |
| & hurry up with the new email addy. just sign up for a hotmail account or something. because i really want to send you the letter! SOON! :) |
| from enurta : |
| My mom is exactly the same. She made my eating disorder worse because she kept saying I was fat even though I wasn�t at all. And she IS fat. About the meds, if they�re not working your doctor should up the dosage. And if he isn�t good at all, don�t see him! Switch doctor. You don�t need to put up with his shit. You need someone you can trust. & I LOVE THE MANIC STREET PREACHERS! What�s your favourite manic�s song? Mine is �my little empire�. I love that song. I love all of their albums but not their new one. The new one sucks. |
| from enurta : |
| I must say that I love your new lay-out. you should keep it. and oh...about your entry, FUCK THOSE PEOPLE! they know nothing. does anyone know about the voices you hear? have you told a doctor or someone you trust? you need meds. meds made my voices almost disappear. |
| from enurta : |
| now I've written you a letter :) I just need an address! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Yeah, I hate the rest of her songs. That one, though, resonates with me. |
| from enurta : |
| i love you too. thanks for caring about me...you mean so much to me. i want to send you a letter. i am going to write one tonight. i'm going to send you pics and stuff. just give me an adress i can send everything to. you can e-mail [email protected] love you! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Dude. Go you man!! That wrist thing was a really good move. I would've done the same thing, prolly *shifty eyes* *eveil laugh* Except in my school everyone dobs (I remember saying that a while ago and ya didn't knwo what it ment. It's like er.. when you do something, they go tell a teacher and ya get ya ass kicked basically :P) and yeah. Os here I gotta be careful with who I do it do an stuff ya know. But yeah. It is really good that the boy got his ass in line and said he'd never hurt neone's feelings. Most peolpe would say something like "oh she's a cutter!! looser!" but it shows that he was prolly only saying that stuff in the first place to be "cool" or to fit in. So yeah. :] I love you! |
| from x-dead-x : |
| yeah typing upside down is no cool. INtercom chick just said LIBARY. again. hahaha! |
| from x-dead-x : |
| i feel stupid now. yippee. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| but you're 3 months older. thats a huge difference! lol. juuuust kidding. And plus you and haley have been dating since you were born and me and caleb only just started 2 weeks ago! its waaaaaaaaaaaaay too soon to plan marriage, kids, and moving in together! |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| Ah, screwing and sleeping.What a good way to live...*sighs happily* I love you.Dork.Holy sh*t.The room just started spinning.Now it's ok though.I love you. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Lol it's all fine now. We're friends again. She rang me up a little while after I wrote the entry and said sorry a few times and we got everythign better than back to how it was :] I don't get all this court stuff :S Did you have to go because of the fight that Angel had? Or was it to do with your mum and dad? Whatever it was, you shouldn't let other people make you upset because.. I dunno. . you're way better than they are, and it's between other people and ya mum/dad/or Angel. Oh, has Angel come back yet?? Are you and ya mum all tight n shit again now? I am going on an excursion today :] :[ I wish you could come. I don't know anyone there, and I'm pretty sure we won't be able to mix with the other schools, not that anyone would want to hang around me their either. UGH! I miss youuuu! I gotta do my make-up and hair now. I love you so much! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| sorry court went so poorly. :( hope you feel better tomorrow. |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry that he wouldnt believe you, but im glad you are getting a new psychiatrist. im so happy for you and Haley. Congratulations. |
| from painted-eyes : |
| No, hon, you just lost...Face the facts. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Congratulations!!! I'm SO happy for you!!! <3 |
| from enurta : |
| aww. i love you too! thanks for your sweet note. but i would love to call you, but i can't afford it. haha i live in sweden...you live in the states, it would cost a lot of money. come visit me instead! we would have so much fun :) *hugs* |
| from painted-eyes : |
| Whatever, you only won because my Internet is crap! |
| from xeison : |
| im glad you are feeling better today. The guy Angel is dating sounds nice. i hope that your meeting with Dr. Mundumbi goes better tommorow. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hey, good for you for resisting the voices! Go Danielle!!!!! |
| from razorblade-- : |
| username: peanut xword: butter |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| Don't call me a freakin' retard!You're the one who's singing the wizard of oz to Angel. |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| Hey you!!!I love you like so so so so so so so much!!! I would rip my ♥ out of my chest and give it to you if I could.It'd be kinda icky though... I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry that you do not like school. i agree its not all that great. If you need help with anything in it, you can always ask me and ill try my best. i hope you feel better, i love you. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| No, you're not fat, not to me. You look like I do, so if you're fat, then I'm fat, and I cannot think like that!!! I'm 160 lbs and I hate it with a passion. |
| from enurta : |
| Omg, your kittens are so adorable!!!!! Especially the orange one�I have an orange cat too. And a black & white one as well� do they make you happy? I hope they do. And about the weight gain, don�t worry about it, just stay healthy. The most important thing is to be happy! Love you <3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Dude, you are not fat. Your pants prolly aren't tight, it's you could just be thinking badly of yourself which make you really think that it's how you are. I am like that too. In my school uniform I feel so tight and fat and my love-handles bounce everywhere, but I know it's not really like that. I am still fat, but it's not as bad as I think.. maybe.. Anyway All scales are different. Like, the one at my dads says I'm 2 kilos heavier, the one at the gym is hell gay lol and the docters ones are stupid too!! Just stick with one measurement and yeah, ya know? :] It could be muscle too. So if you are gona go nuts with weight loss, then do it by measuring your body, not by weight. You arn't fat dude, so just live your life and let it be :] As for your headaches, dude, as effin IF smoking is gonna help that!!!! Smoking will further dehydrate your body cells and cause more headaches! When will you get it?!?!?! GRRR!!! I LOVE YOU |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Your kittens are soooo cute!!! And I totally understand the gaining weight thing. After I stopped restricting, I went from 115 (borderline anorexic) to 160 (slightly overweight) in about four months. It sucks major, and I'm desperately trying to lose weight the healthy way. It's just not working. :( |
| from xeison : |
| im glad you are not going to stress about it. So, have you decided whether you like school yet or not? |
| from xeison : |
| i know what you mean, for some reason despite the fact that they are all great people, they dont always get along. Miscommunication always seems to be the cause too. i suppose its a really fine art. All the same, things will be ok. i know it can be stressful, but the problem can be solved, and well work on it, from the sound of it, its already being worked through. This problem will be solved, and it was never your fault. It was failure in communication, that had nothing to do with you and you in no way were responcible for it. As for the thing you said about keeping some razors to feel stronger, that makes sense. Being able to resist temptation versus having to avoid it is a quality that seems to require more strength and so completion of that task makes one feel stronger. However, recognizing that avoiding the temptation is helpful and may be neccessary also requires strength, but what you said makes sense. i love you, please take care of yourself ok? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| bloody hell!!!!!! why does anya think I'm not talking to you??? HUH HUH HUH??!?!?!?!?!?! Please dude, just stop. I sent you messages ands all that shyte. Just read them. Everytime I get it sorted out, I find that you're still reckoning it's your fault and whatever. As If I wouldn't talk to you!!!!!!!!! fuck sake!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so going to bash your head in!!!!!! Let me get this clear, I'll say it again, and it'll be the last time: This is noone fault & everything is back to normal! NAYARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *slams your kitten on the floor!* i effin love you you wanker! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww you have a kitten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg!!! I bet it is soo cute!!!!!!!!!! *pick is up really carefully* *shows you something outside* *squeezes the kitten hard so it's ribs snap* *runs away* *pats kitten* *tells it to wake up* *shakes it* *thinkgs it's sleeping. so puts it in the river to let is be comfy* *shifty eyes* I love you. Stop smoking btw. |
| from xeison : |
| im so sorry that i worried you. It sounds like things are going great now, Angel is there, you guys have a home, Jesse is gone, and you have internet. You dont need me there though. i would love to stay with you guys, but i really would just be a burden. It is really kind of you guys to offer me a home and i thank you for it, but as i said, it would just weigh you guys down, financially and legally. i know you do not think that is true, but it is and undeniably so. Financially, a fifth person will cost more money, they have to be fed and so forth and it costs money. Furthermore, i would be a runaway. The police would be after me. i really wish i could but i cant, im sorry. i really didnt help you, it was all yours to begin with, i did nothing. i didnt save Angel, you guys are the ones that saved her, i wasnt even here. You are the ones who have saved yourselves. You guys are the ones who accomplished this, you are your own saviours. i love you too, im sorry that i cannot do what you are asking of me. |
| from xeison : |
| You have nothing to thank me for Danielle. i didnt do anything. It was always your money. i have come back now and im fine. How have you been doing? i have heard that Angel is there with you guys now? i hope things are better than what they were. i love you too. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hey, I love your piercings. I, too, have my eyebrow (right) and nose (left) pierced. I've been thinking about a lip or labret piercing for a long time now. I want the labret a lot, but am afraid it'll tear up my gums. I should go down and talk to my regular piercer about that. |
| from enurta : |
| You never annoy me sweetie! I cannot express in words how glad I am that you are back, I thought you left for good. And I'm glad you don't have to deal with your step dad anymore. That's great. Why did you almost pass out? Are you starving?? :( I am binging/purging everyday so I'm not well either...but I am trying every day. And about Annie, she's sick, nobody knows when or if she will come back. How are you doing in school? Is everything okay? <3 |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Oh, yes. I forgot something. We met online, off okcupid.com! I'll get to see him in a couple more weeks or so because he's packing this week and I'm on vacation next week. Can't wait to see him again! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Okay. Stephen. He's smart, cute, funny, sweet, and awesome guy, and he's got some committment issues there. He wants to be friends first, which is fine and not fine at the same time. I want this guy as more than my friend, but it doesn't look like that'll happen any time soon. I like him SO MUCH and I'm trying not to put any stock in this odd relationship that we have. I'm trying not to hope for a romantic relationship in the future. I know that, if it doesn't happen, it'll only send me crashing down into the ground. So I'm frustrated. |
| from enurta : |
| I'm so glad you're back. I've missed you <3 How are you? Are you okay? You didn't write much about how you are feeling in your entry. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| My diary is now locked. The username is diet and the password is coke. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| *I'm* glad you're back. :) |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| miss you <3 |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Oh my God, Danielle, what happened?! Please be safe... you've come so far, don't let Jesse drag you down with him, okay? You're better than that. Hopefully we can talk soon, I miss you. If it's okay with your Grandma (WTF?! She hates you?!) maybe I can call you sometime? E-mail me the number if I can, okay? [email protected] I love you. <3<3<3 |
| from xeison : |
| We do worry though. Please take care of yourself. i love you *HUGS*. |
| from xeison : |
| Today is Tuesday, i sent the letter. Please tell me when you get it. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| What happened? I am still not sure. I was so emotionally discombobulated and upset that my brain shut down and I reached for the blade. I didn't even think about my committments, about how hard I've worked. I just... cut until I was numb. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| DANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIELLLLLE!!! I LOVE you. =) Uh-huh. That's all. ♥ K. Bye. |
| from xeison : |
| So dont worry about me ok? |
| from xeison : |
| im so glad that you havent been cutting and that you have been eating normally. im so proud of you, im sorry if that is not appropriate for me to say. i will send you a letter; im just not sure what to write. Also, i know you will be mad, but i am sending something with the letter, technically it is yours and not mine sinse i obligated all my earnings to you. So im sorry that i am making you mad, but it is yours. i also sent two other objects, but maybe you do not need them as you seem to be feeling better than last time. i cant run away from here Danielle, i cannot get to where you are and besides, id just be an extra burden that you guys do not need. i cant tell the DCF, theyll just put me with another family that will do this. i do not want to be moved just to feel this again, and they did check on me, just for the first three weeks and one other time when the social worker at my school got suspicious of a black eye i had, but lies easily get rid of them. The cause of my black eye was that i "accidently" fell and my head landed on the edge of the table with my eye being perfectly in the cornor just "incidently". As for saving up money, i lost my job, also thanks to my Foster parents that manipulated the manager. i think though Michael would be better off without a failure like me anyways as would you and your Mother. Please tell your Mother thank you so much for caring. The thing is Danielle hurting myself is what keeps me alive, id die without my blade. In the end, im worth nothing. im not an amazing person, and i have not helped you. It was you who helped you, you were the key to all of it. Danielle, if i run away, ultimately the police will just hunt me down, if i call the DCF ill be moved to another family that does this. The best solution is just to stay here. Anyways they are sending me away soon for quite a while back home in Kashmir, so i will be away from them. Again, please thank your Mother for her kindness, but i dont need her to call anyone, if i decide that it is neccesary, i will take such action on my own. i know you would take good care of me Danielle, there are jsut too many things in the way right now. One day it will be different. In the meanwhile though, thank you so much for being so kind. i love you too. Also, tell your Mother that it is very kind of her to pray for me. Danielle, please try to see, im not worth anything anyways and in many ways i deserve worse than this. Please keep taking good care of yourself. i love you. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I am SO GLAD YOU ARE DOING WELL. So glad. Congratulations on the no cutting, the no purging, the no fasting and for you and Haley being together so long. You deserve only the best, and you have her. :) I'm glad you're not having problems with your mom. Oh, and I got my eyebrow pierced too! It looks awesome! Next, my rook (part of your ear if you didn't know already) and the center of my bottom lip. I think I'll get the lip one done first. It'll totally freak my mom and dad out, but that's not why I'm doing it. I'm doing it because I think it looks awesome. I love burgundy hair! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Oh and P.S. .... When trying to convince people to come stay with you, mentioning the "billions" of (BITING!) spiders... probably not the best of ideas... ;) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Danielle!!! You inspire me!!!! Seriously! Like... I don't know... just knowing that things are looking up for you kind of gives me hope that maybe things can look up for me someday too. (Wow that sounded lame, huh?) Anyway... I'm SO glad you don't have to deal with that piece of crap uncle of yours anymore! Now if only we could get Jesse out the picture, huh? Stupid fucking men, I swear. So I've been thinking a lot...and I haven't really come to any conclusions (I know, big fucking surprise) but there's some things I want (NEED!) to talk to you about... so hopefully we can do that soon. I don't know. I've just been feeling really like I need to get out of here, like I'm not even wanted here anymore... so.. yeah, I don't know. As soon as I talk to you I'm going to forget everything I wanted to ask/say... I just know it. Hm. Maybe I should start a list... yeah, I'll do that. Um. Later. Anyway. I'm really proud of you! I haven't cut in a while either, and my eating, well, nevermind, but it's not what you think, trust me. Um. June 5th?! That's like... soon. Damn. Uhm. I want you come soon but I don't know if I can get off of work that soon... I think I need like two or three weeks notice.... Hopefully we can talk this week though and figure something out cause I really want this to happen. I LOVE YOU!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| im so sorry, i wish i could leave a longer note. im glad you are doing ok, but im so sorry about what is going on with Jesse and Tim and you not having enough food. im not sure if Angel asked you for it, so may i ask what you address is sinse you would tell us if we wanted to know? i love you, please take care. |
| from enurta : |
| i don't understand. did you leave your uncle? are you living alone? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Motherfuckingdirtycuntfacefuckerfuckingassie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you fucking let him even look at you ever again like that!!!! If he touches you, you fucking kill him! Do not let him do it, please!!!! Please don't. I swear I'll kill you if you let him. I'm not kidding. I'll go insane(er) if it happends. I'll kill myself Danielle. Don't let it happen! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! NO FOOODDDD!!!! I bet you're a size 2 now!!! AHHH! You gotta eat. Um.. how about ya get a job or somethign??? Or do stuff for the neibours to get a lil extra (don't let your fucking stepdad give you money!!!!!). Um um um um um um um. Are you cutting still??? NO FUCKING WAY!!!! YOU ARE NOT GETTING YOUR TOUNGE PEIRCED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you do, I hope it gets infected!!!! ...lol, sorry, I just don't want you turning into a metal man! (woman!) Please don't!! Why do you want all these peircings????????? Why do you want to take away all your beauty!?? You're so beautiful, you don't need peircings sweetie. You're perfect without them. Are you gonna want them for the rest of your life????? Please don't spend your money on that stuff. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! You could become obsessed with tattos, peircings, hair stuff etc and not have any money and then you'd start stealing.. Oh God! PLEASE DON'T STEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRETTY EFFIN PLEASE!!!!!! Shit. I'm freaking out!!!! omg omg omg! Wait a while before you get anythign done. Please? Just wait until.. until things straighten up. HOLY SHIT!!!!! Duuuude, do you have any anti-depressants atm??????????????????? How are you sleeping???????????? AHHH! Promise me you won't start taking drugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH! I know you're prolly getting annoied now, but I can't help not wanting anythign bad to happen. I need you happy and safe. I need you to be happy without needing substances (minus anti-deps if ya need 'em) eg: hair stuff and and and peircings. Shit! I love you so much!!!!!! I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you!!!!! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Oh, god, Jesse is a fucking asshole for sure. I missed you- I'm glad you updated! And I would love your address. Email me for mine at [email protected]. ~Emily |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Okay, so, where was I? Um.. oh yeah. That fucker. Who does he think he is?! Grr! You were in my dream the other night, it was hella weird... don't ask. Um, so... are you still planning on coming here? They keep pressuring me at work, asking when I'm going to be taking my vacation and I'm like: Well, I don't know! SO just let me know if you are, and if so when so I can know at least an estimate of when to take off. If you need money, honestly, just let me know okay? I can give you some (I know, I know) or I can loan you some, whatever you want? Okay? I love you! And I miss you soooo much! Hope you're doing okay. XOXO |
| from thatgirlx : |
| What the fuck? That fucker. You tell him (Jesse) he better buy a phone so I can call my Danielle because I'm having fucking Danielle withdrawls and if he doesn't I'll have to hitchhike my way there and beat his fucking ass. Okay? OKAY! Um. My Dad needs the computer, so... to be continued. ;) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I fucking miss you. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you, now get your ass on MSN so I can talk to you! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Dani Dani Dani... oh my fucking god. That stupid fucking bitch, how could she even for a second take that seriously? I mean, if you were actually going to kill her would you really write it out in a fucking note?! No, you wouldn't. Fucking whore. I'm sorry shits so fucked up right now, but it won't always be. Dani, death is not the answer. Okay? It's just not. Don't let them destroy you. You are stronger than this, I know it. And dammit, if I have to I will come there and I will help you figure this shit out, I don't even care anymore, I just want you to be okay. Please don't give up... Please. And if there's anything at all I can do, just let me know okay, because I'm here to help you. You don't have to do this alone. I love you so fucking much, don't you ever forget that, okay? ♥ |
| from pamperedpuma : |
| Oh hunny, I really wish I knew the whole story, why you ended up back with your mum etc. But you can always come here...ok so its in England, but you probably couldn't get much further away...and please don't kill yourself, too many people love you ok? Cxx |
| from enurta : |
| i know how you feel. but everything will be okay. i promise. please don't kill yourself, promise me that ok? it would mean so much to me if you didn't. i love writing to you, i don't want to lose you. a lot of people love you. please stay <3 |
| from xeison : |
| Ok, ill agree, this doesnt like it will go well, but Danielle, please do not give up yet, this is not over, they cannot take Haley to Juvenille without a trial, and we still can win that, if it is possible, may i ask if you can find out exactly what happened and tell me. From what i know about Haley, she wouldnt do something like this for no reason, so Jayna must have done something really bad, and trials can turn on emotions too. Right now the most important things you can do are stay alive so that you can be there for Haley and be there for her as much as you can. Please understand, killing or hurting yourself wont fix this situation. im glad that you didnt hurt yourself, and im so sorry that you Mother is being such a bitch. She cannot stop you from staying with Ms. Copeland, if Ms. Copeland says she will let you stay, your Mother cant do shit. It is also good that you can forbid her from talking to Dr. Richardson. Are you still going to be able to see her, i know Angel offered, but im offering as well, if you need money for it, we are both willing to send you some, ok? And before you refuse, please remember that we love you, and you matter more to us than any amount of money, so if it makes the difference between you hurting yourself or not, or even being happy or not, we are will to put in the money so that you can see her, especially sinse you like her. You wont get in trouble for threatening if you explain that it was a joke, and as for what you guys are going to do, ill tell you. You are NOT going to kill yourself, because you are going to be here for Haley because if you were gone that would devastate her and me and Angel and Georgia and Cat and im pretty sure Jacob and others too. You carry many more lives than your own, and so you will stay, and we will be here helping you, because that is waht Friends do. Two, we are going to work on getting the best results from Haleys trial so that she either does not get in trouble or gets in trouble for the least amount of time, but we are not going to just let this happen, we are going to fight, and if we go out, it will be in flames. im glad that Ms. Copeland cares about you, and i think it is a good idea for you to stay with her. i know you are scared and do not know what is going to happen, but you can do this ok? You and Haley can both do this, i know it is tough, but both of you can beat this too. There is a lot happening and it seems like too much, but its not, well break it down and then you and Haley will make it, so please eat Danielle, you will need your strength, and dont die, because Haley will need hers. As for Linda, she cant do shit, with her record, if she tries to pull anything, you have the edge, your word against hers, she is in a bad spot. i know things are scary, intimidating, seemingly out of control, overwhelming, and the consequences terrifying, the odds poor, but we are a team, and so we can take all of this with strength, and we can beat this, and one day you and Haley will be able to look back at this and say that defeating this enemy was one of your finest moments in your love. So please Danielle take care of yourself. *HUGS* |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD! I just read Haley's e-mail and your note, are you serious? Why do you wanna come here?!?! Hahaha, you're gonna be so bored. I'm like the least interesting person in the entire world... no joke. All I do is lay around and watch TV... Um. Anyways... I know you'll refuse, but if you want... if you need it, I could send you some money. You know, for the ticket. So... yeah. Um. You'll have to let me know ahead of time when you're coming though, so I can get off of work and stuff... okay? I ♥ you! And you're SOOOOO getting pounced on... just to warn you. ;) I LOVE YOU! And I miss you! And... Saturday, does she have a computer? You'll have to give me the number and the time and stuff, but I'll definetly call! (As long as I'm not at work...) Okay! I LOVE YOU!! ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| i honestly have no idea what to say. im so sorry that things seem to be happening and that you are not sure what is going to happen to you. im also sorry that Jesse, i think his name was, has been drinking so much. It is good that you are looking for somewhere else for you to stay, but in case you cant and you need it, i just want to remind you, that you can always, if needed, call the police and say you are in inadequate guardianship. As for your house lacking heating, does it get really cold there? If you have walls without windows, staying near walls helps, also, cold tends to stay low, so if you are on a chair or table or bed, you will be warmer, and if you have a safe place in the home for fire, that is generally pretty good for heating as well, sometimes even better than the electric ones. As for towels, im sorry that you guys are lacking towels, you probably already know this, but if you wipe the beads of water, it wont dry you completely, but its decently good given that you are not using a towel. Can you call your Doctors in order to get your Anti-Depressants? Or could you call your Aunt Kim, or is she part of the reason why you are with your Mother now? Please dont kill yourself, you deserve more than that, i know it is really tough right now, but you can make it through this, so please keep fighting. i am so sorry that all of this is happening to you. i LOVE YOU SO MUCH, please please take care of yourself *HUGS*. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I miss you so fucking much... |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I am sorry things are so hard right now. :( |
| from getinline : |
| I don't know when you'll get to read this, but I hope everything works out. You are a great person, and you deserve only the best. Please please please try to hold on if things get bad. I'm glad things are working out so far with the psychologist, and I hope you get to continue to see her when you're with your mom. Stay strong. |
| from xeison : |
| i must top Angel :P ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ AHA i WIN. |
| from xeison : |
| i hope that things will be better there, will you be alright with your Mother? Please take care of yourself. i LOVE YOU *HUGS* ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| What? Wait... when did this happen? Dani... are you really okay? Please be okay. I love you. ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from enurta : |
| sweetie, I am so thankful that you didn't take all those pills. that would have been an easy but wrong decision to make. I'm glad you came to your senses. and I'm sorry your uncle is a jerk. i hope you are alright. love you <3 |
| from ethereal-red : |
| My psychiatrist's name is Dr. Richardson. :) I hope your stomach feels better soon. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Loser! I knew you'd say that. But the way I see it, it's not a waste... (really, it's only like ten dollars...) |
| from fuckxthis : |
| fuck whatever is going on with your notes unless it's just a glitch in my browser or something. (thank you.) love, fxt |
| from enurta : |
| swedish, arabic and english :) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I do, I do! (Know where you can get the Stabbing Westward CD) But I'm sure you already know that.... ;) Anyways, you know, if you want, just say the word. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| We so need to talk sometime soon, I miss your voice. It makes me smile! (Was that creepy?) Uhm. Anyways. I don't even know where to start, I need to collect my thoughts..... Okay. YOU SHOULD COME HERE!!! You should tell your fucking fuck face uncle that you'll gladly take a few weeks off from HIM (because really, if we're talking breaks from people, I'm sure YOU need one from HIM more than he needs one from you) if you can come stay with your Angel! (I'm serious!) You should ask him. Like, I know he'll probably say no, but if for some reason he said yes, I'd seriously take you in. (Well, not here, but we could stay somewhere, like a hotel or something.) You'd probably go bored crazy out of your mind, but I'm just saying... if you wanted... (Can we hypnotize him or something?) Um. Wanting me to move there is not selfish. I would do it in a fucking heartbeat if I wasn't so fucking fragile and afraid. If I was capable of doing rather than just dreaming. I want so much to leave here, to start over, to have friends again and to feel like I belong somewhere. It's perfect, you know? It would be perfect. Being able to go somewhere far away, but knowing someone, having somewhere to start. God. What is wrong with me? Why can't I get my shit together? Dani, someday... I am going to do it. I am going to get out of here. And you are going to get out of there. One day. Okay? We will. I just know it. I love you, Dani. I love you so fucking much. Please, just hang in there, cause in all honestly, I don;t know what the fuck I'd do without you. ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| i don see good, i only see evil, evil, evil, evil, yet you keep telling me there is good, i dont see it. There is no maybe on this one Schmaboogie :P, you are beautiful, no maybe, you are beautiful period i am right. But im not wrong Sister, im right on this one, you can tell me im wrong about other things, but on this i am right. She doesn believe me though when i tell her :( and now i messed up everything :'(. im glad that you have made that promise, now i just hope youll decide to keep it through. i LOVE YOU too. |
| from xeison : |
| Why is it i have to believe you, but you dont have to believe your Brother when he is telling the truth and you are pretty, you are beautiful, just because you cant see it doesnt mean it is not true. In this case you are the WRONG one, i am RIGHT. You are BEAUTIFUL PERIOD. And a few more just for kicks...................Anyways, i love you, may i call you Sister then? |
| from enurta : |
| I'm alright, thanks for asking. And thanks for being so sweet to me. I like so many movies, my favorites are Fight Club, American Beauty, Rules of Attraction, The machinist, Donnie Darko, any many more. Which are yours??? Music, I like Linkin Park, Staind, Faithless and Tori Amos. What do you like?? And thanks for being my friend! I still want to send you snailmail :) Love you. <3 |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| thecyanidegirl. that's so funny that you picked today to leave me a note about talking, because not even two hours ago i was reading through your diary and thinking the same thing! anyway that is my aim name, my msn is hate_thisplace AT hotmail.com |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I am glad you're meeting with a psychologist. Best of luck! I went to that pro-recovery site you posted, and I'm glad it helped you, but it sure didn't help me. It made things a lot worse. It's those damn pictures- some people see them as disgusting, but I crave those skeletal bodies still. It's messed up, I know. I should have known better than to even click on the link. It's my fault. |
| from enurta : |
| I think it's a great idea for you to see someone! I'm glad you've taken that step. The doctor probably can help you, maybe with some meds or maybe with some therapy or maybe both. The first step is to admit you have a problem. Good luck with everything. <3 |
| from enurta : |
| lied about what, sweetie??? |
| from enurta : |
| nevermind, I understand now what the login/password is. haha sorry i'm dumb today :P |
| from enurta : |
| hey. i don't have myspace anymore. I deleted my account. and the username/password you gave me isn't working :( are you sure login:'both' and password; 'me' is right????? love you! <3 |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| you are such a sweetheart. thank you. <3 |
| from enurta : |
| hey, where's your other diary? I'd like to read it :) |
| from tttragic : |
| yeah, its kinda complicated unless you've been around like, in person. see, this this kid i've known/liked since august, but never really said anything about it because he's four years older then me. but after tom & i broke up, he found out that i like him still. we kissed, and he told me he couldnt see us going anywhere. well, the next day we were cuddling/kissing again. then last friday, we were on my couch and he asked me out. then on saturday night we went too far (dumb idea), and now everything is really awkward & confusing. yeah. :\ |
| from tttragic : |
| long time, no talk. how have you been, gorgeous? ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I'lll never give up on you, or leave you. I love you ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| How did you "fuck up?" i hightly doubt you did, but please remember that when we make mistakes, we can learn from them, or we can beat ourselves up over them, but when we do the second one, we dont learn, and we are prone to make the same mistake, if we take the first option, then we learn, become wiser, and will not make the same mistake again. Everyone makes mistakes, the question becomes what do you do when you make those mistakes. The greatest person is not made by their successed, but by their failures. Please take care of yourself. |
| from getinline : |
| Oh, and I'm extremely paranoid about my diaryland site - no one I know is aware that it exists, and only a handful of people know that I cut myself. But maybe I can send a pic through an email of something... |
| from getinline : |
| One year? Yay!! I'm very happy for you and Haley :) I hope everything turns out okay for your Uncle Jim - cancer is a very scary thing. And although I don't know how you feel about talking to a psychologist, I think it will be extremely helpful just to have someone to talk/vent to and relieve all the stress that you're feeling. I hope all goes well for not only you, but for Haley, too. |
| from xeison : |
| i hope things get better for you too and that the psychologist is helpful for you. im so sorry that food has continued to give you Hell, you deserve better, but please keep trying, you are strong enough to beat this, and you can beat this, and we are still here to fight alongside you, that hasnt changed. i hope that you will be able to see your Mother, if that is what you still want. i really do hope things work out for you though. im glad that Jayna was not mean to Haley, and im glad that she will be getting help for her cutting. i hope your Spring Break goes well, i have my Spring Break thing this week. im sorry that the pressure has been building up, but please remember that all of us are here to help you fight the things that are pressuring you, and we weill be ok, so dont worry about us, ok? Everyone will be ok, just make sure, that you take care of yourself too ok? i hope things get better, i love you *HUGS* |
| from x-crime-x : |
| I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Aye bro! Don't YOU appologise for somebody elses issues. The stuff that Kate does to herself really hurts me, and I am really scared, and I just get angry. I don't think the way she acts around me is personal. It's all ok. I haven't starved myself. I am eating soup right now. that's hardly starvation :P I wish I could take away all the pain you're feeling right now :( I love you so much. Please please keep fighting Danielle. The longer you fight, the easier it will get in the long run, I assure you. Can I help you in any way to keep fighting?? do you want me to stay out of it or do you want me by your side with it?? Please let me know of anything that I could do for you :) I love you so so so so much! |
| from xeison : |
| Please help Angel, i dont know how to anymore, please help her feel better. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Well I'm sorry to dissapoint you, but you'll never just be admired for being beautiful, and small, you'll always be so so so much more. You're everything ever-so perfect. I love you so much Danielle. Please keep trying to fight, please. I love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
| from xeison : |
| im glad i got a bed too. i didnt know what Macroeconomics was. i love you too, and i do worry about you, are you doing ok? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I miss you. |
| from enurta : |
| OMG!!! I love your lay-out! :D |
| from xeison : |
| i wont argue with you. Honestly, Danielle, i dont care waht i deserve, i just want a family that loves me, i want a Mother :'(. Whether that is selfish of me or not, i want one. So, thank you so much for hoping along with me. i love you too, please take care of yourself, ill be back here as soon as i can, please be ok. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| AWW! :( I'm sorry you had a shitty day. I'm sorry that it got bad and you threw up. Just start fresh tomorrow :) Keep trying to fight it. I believe in you. I really love you so much Danielle! I hope you'll sleep well tonight. Sorry his note was short! Ileft you a note om myspaz. I love you so much! Take care Dano xxxxxxxxxx |
| from getinline : |
| Thanks so much for your sweet note - it really brightened my day. I would have replied sooner, but I've been lazy and haven't even gotten on the computer. Anyway, I was catching up on your entries - that totally sucks about your mom. But I think you are right, and your aunt and uncle won't let her take you. They love you too much to let her hurt you. And those pics you posted? You are gorgeous, girl!! You have nothing to worry about. I hope you're doing better than when you last posted! Good luck on keeping those promises to yourself. |
| from roamany : |
| Thanks for the support and password. I know I definitely don't have my shit together, but I'm determined this time and sometimes that's all you need. - M |
| from roamany : |
| Thank you for the welcome back message sweetpea, it made my day. I seem to have lost your password and such, so GIMME GIMME GIMME!! Love you lots =) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| You're so fucking awesome. |
| from pamperedpuma : |
| I thought you had the password!! Just not giving it out to people I know in the "real world" lol! There's far too much shit in there that can't really get out! I'll message you on myspace to give it to you and you'll know what I mean!!! Thanks for the layout add, I'll be having a look =] Cxx |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I hope you can keep that promise to yourself. You deserve it! |
| from pamperedpuma : |
| Hey hunny, what's the address for your layouts?? Cxx |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Wow.. I'm so proud of you for deciding/promising those things. You're so amazing! Really, you're so wonderful and perfect in everyway. I love you so much. |
| from enurta : |
| hey Danielle. thanks for the comment. i wish you could see how beautiful and special you are! you are nothing like what you wrote in your entry...please, try to listen to the people that love you! |
| from xeison : |
| You have nothing to be sorry for, you have done nothing wrong to anyone except yourself, taht is what worries us, that you cannot say that to yourself. Danielle, you are not worthless, you showed me that im not alone, when i first came here, i thought i was crazy and just stupid because i couldnt tell the difference between reality and the voices and people, but you made me realize that we each have our own realities and that i was not alone, im nto alone. You and Angel gave me a family, a gift i can never thank you enough for. You care when you hurt people and you have accomplished so much, that is a little of why i love you and admire you and honour you. |
| from xeison : |
| i wrote an additional note to you in my diary. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII look up to you because out of all the people I've ever met, you're one of the few genuinely care more about others than themselves. You're always giving out advice, always offering your support. Always extending your hand. Even before you knew me, you left me those kind words in my notes, telling me not to give up, telling me I could do it. You had no idea who I was, what type of person I was, but still, you told me you would be there if I ever needed you. You know, you kind of saved me? I didn't really have anyone at that time, and you took me under your wing. Even after discovering who I really was, you stuck with me, through everything. How could I not admire that? That strength, that kindness, that determination. And then, on top of all that, you want to make an ever bigger difference! By being either a physcologist or working at an eating disorder clinic! I mean--shit, those are some pretty damn good goals girl! So I know you think I'm wasting my time, but I don't see it that way. I see it as being there for my friend, the friend who was there for me from the very beginning, the friend who never turned her back on me. I see at as loving you. And I do, Dani, I fucking do. You are amazing in every single way, I couldn't ask for a better friend. Honestly. I love you. Please, please, please, don't give up. You have SO MUCH to live for. SO MUCH. ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| You shouldnt say that yet, not until after i hurt you, then make your decision, becuase you will hate me. You shoulnt adore me, all that i am is a failure, nothing more. i try, but not intellegently. im not worth appreciating. i love you too. i dont know how i make you feel strong, but if i do, im glad that i do. i wasnt mean, maybe not yet, but its not over until its over. i will always be honest with you, that i promise. im so sorry that happened *HUGS*. Ok, please take care of yourself, tommorow when you reply, can you please also answer my question if you have time about what food options you have for each meal. You have nothing to thank me for, i have done nothing. i love you too *HUGS*. |
| from enurta : |
| please, don't fast. it's not healthy. especially if you're taking meds. try to eat three meals a day instead. i know my words mean nothing, but i feel so helpless when i read your diary. i want to help you |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry for cursing if that offends you. i just, only cursing expressed the right strength of words. |
| from xeison : |
| The mean is just starting, and you will probably hate me by the end of this. Honestly, i hate to say this, but i dont care if you think it is pointless, i cant have you dieing, i cant :'( and i WONT. Do you understand? i wont let you die. So whether you think there is a point of not, im telling you now it is not a wasted effort, there is a point. What does it do for all your Friends if you just give up? You cant do that, you MUST FIGHT. i didnt ask whether there were foods you like, that doesnt matter to me, because food is what keeps you alive, not if you like it, but whether it exists. im so sorry, but this is all i can see left to me, so i will ask you again, please answer my questions, even if it takes a while to list them all, i want to know what the foods are. i know you hate you body, but i do know that you MUST FIGHT, and that is that, simply stated, you can debate it with me if you want, but that is ultimately all there is to it. Fight or die, please dont die :'(. i dont want you dead :'(. You shouldnt thank me for anything, im ruining you life. You would have written a better paper. School, im going to fail, so i guess there is nothing to think, though i hope nobody tries to stab me this time. i want to sleep to, but ultimately, sleeping wont make you feel, sleeping wont fix anything, sleeping is just dieing. Do you really know Danielle that we need to fight, becuase if you do, then stop telling me that you dont, please understand, it is hard, yes, its is seemingly impossible, indeed, but we are going to fight, and we are going to FUCKING WIN! Yeah, its just so fucking hard, but thats the thing, its JUST so fucking hard, but we are SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER, NO JUSTS INVOLVED, because we arent limited, we are FUCKING STRONGER! Sometimes isnt good enough, always believe in yourself, not to destroy yourself, but to win, YOU ARE FUCKING BETTER THAN MIA. i love you too so very much. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| That was random... Um. It's about my Mom. Which is kind of weird, because I just wrote another similiar entry, sort of. Why do you ask? |
| from xeison : |
| Thats not fair to anyone, especially not yourself. Unfortunately, i dont know what else to do now, so im going to be mean, im so sorry, please forgive me, actually i probably dont deserve it, so you dont have to. What food options do have for breakfast at your house? What options do you have for lunch? What options do you have for dinner? What options do you have for other sorts of meals? The problem when you control only a few resources in a war, is that you have to allocate them properly. Water fasting, is like throwing your resources out the window, you wont win like that, you are just giving Mia the advantage. If we are going to fight, then we are going to fight so that we have the edge, not her, ok? Please do know, i still love you, im sorry, you can hate me if you want. |
| from xeison : |
| They think you need to go to the hospital eh? Heres how i see it, you do not need to go to the hospital, but only if you fight, and are able to stop. If you feel that you cannot beat this on your own, and you need to be perfectly honest with yourself, then you might need to go to the hospital, i can understand taht you dont want to go, just like i hide my cuts so that they wont make me go, but ultimately both of us need to either fight, i dont know how to say this better, so please dont take this the wrong way but more effectivly, or we both need to seek help. i know you are trying, just please keep trying, and remember what i said ok? Ultimately, we can take back control of those aspects of your life we need to ok? We can win this i promise. i love you, i hope you are doing ok, and im proud of you for not cutting, though i should caution you to be careful with smoking, because it is very addicting as well. i love you. |
| from xeison : |
| And for the record, you are very pretty. |
| from enurta : |
| awww! you're so cute!!! love you too, thanks for being so kind to me. <3 |
| from xeison : |
| Dont worry about it, ill just post it then. It is in my diary. |
| from xeison : |
| Ok, how do i get it to you, should i post it in my diary, or email it to you? |
| from enurta : |
| I'm sorry for asking this, maybe it's none of my business but why was she in jail?? what did she do??? I�m curious. i hope everything works out. take care <3 |
| from xeison : |
| Clearly i dont know how to enter links : /. http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q88/xeison/DSC00009.jpg http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q88/xeison/DSC00008.jpg |
| from xeison : |
| i have two. <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q88/xeison/DSC00009.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a> <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q88/xeison/DSC00008.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a> May i ask you for help with something? i love you too ♥ How have you been? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Thank You... ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| ive decided to add some humor to your day, my hair, is pink. im perfectly serious too, which makes it really scary. Well, you can try to picture that, and get a good laugh. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i love you! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I love "Better". "Jekyll And Hyde" is an awesome one, too. I need to download their other cd. And thanks... I'm glad people have faith in me. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I wish I could find a relationship like yours and Haley's. That would rock. You love each other so much and it's such a rich, deep relationship. I admire you for being so open in high school! |
| from tttragic : |
| Aww, thanks. I love that kid. I'm doing pretty good. You? |
| from xeison : |
| Ok the conversation i said i was going to put. i was talking to a very devout Christian, his name was Nathan, so i will abbreviate him with N. i thought you might want to read this, otherwise, im so sorry i wsasted your time. X: So then, why do you listen to God? N: Because I love Him. X: Why? N: Because He loves me. X: That makes sense, except how do you know He loves you? N: Because He has given me a good life. X: Well what about all the people who have horrible lives, does He just love you but hate them? N: No, but their horrible lives are caused by mans sins X: If God really loved us, wouldnt he have made us sin resistant, so that Adam would never have brought sin into the world by eating the Apple of Knowledge? N: You make a good point, but i like to think of it like this. Imagine man as a perfect white pot, and now if you put a glowstick, which is God, inside, the light, His glory cannot shine through, but it can if the pot is transparent or broken. X: You are making the wrong analogy, if Van Gogh painted a crappy painting, it is just a crappy painting, it does not make him look any better. That is why people seek Heaven, for salvation and Gods glory. N: Heaven just proves Gods glory though, becuase He is willing to take man who is ugly to be with him in perfection. X: But, if He loved us so much, why wouldnt he just put us in Heaven from the beginning, why allow the risk of sin and Hell? N: im not sure. That was it. i told him to forget what i said after that, becuase i did not want to shatter his beliefs, but that is just one of the flaws in the Christian idea. Also, note that God supposedly made man in his own image. So imperfection was the image of perfection? im so sorry if this just wasted your time. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Who is that about? I love you xxxxxx |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Did you change the password for your other diary, the razor one? "me" as the username and "me" as the password isn't working anymore. |
| from tttragic : |
| iloveyou. !! |
| from chalkstain : |
| I don�t really think anybody ever really sees themselves as they truly are. Ignorance or arrogance - it�s either one or the other. Not that you�re ignorant - just that you�re oblivious to how special you really are. I didn�t so much believe the six month time frame he gave me either, but I was in no position to argue at the time. I couldn�t stop crying every time I tried to speak, and to be honest, crying isn�t a game I like to play with other people. You�re not a bad person - bad people don�t feel guilt for the hurt they cause. Evidently, you truly care about things, about people. You�re willing to dedicate your life to other people�s causes. I wish I could too, but in the end, I�m just not strong enough. That�s okay though, I�ve come to terms with that. Empathy is a huge weakness of mine. It�s sort of a catch 22 - I constantly need to help people, yet when I get close, it kills me. Just keep up the good work sweetie, don�t give in and don�t give up. It�s always gonna be worth it in the end, fight it. It's not called a fight because it's gonna be easy. But it'll be worth it, I swear. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Aw man, it's like four something now (ooh it's 4:20!) I would call but... yeah, he might be back by now. Um. If Georgia is 5'6 and 134lbs she is NOT overweight... that's average... 114 for someone 5'6 is considered underweight and 160 is considered overweight, but of course that doesn't take into account muscle mass and body type and all that shit... but yeah, anyways... just so you know. :) Shit, I hope I can get on here later, but I doubt it... Um... You should try to eat at least a little... have some soup or something at least, okay? Otherwise (if you're anything like me) you'll just end up binging like mad crazy later... and that's never good. :( Last night I couldnt barely eat but today I've already had a blueberry muffin, a bowl of ravioli and a bunch of chocolate... I feel icky and I'm really bored and I have a headache. I think I'm gonna take a shower now... ♥ ♥ ♥ LOVE YOU! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Hola!! My fucking brother got home like an hour after me yesterday, I didn't even have time to THINK about sneaking in some internet time. And the computer is STILL fucked up and it's pissing me off. *sigh* Had one of those days yesterday, huh? Aw. :( I wish I coulda cheered you up, I kind of had one myself yesterday... but anyways.... ((hugs)) I love you, you little accented country girl. ;) ((And oh my god... 3 hours... I was like damn, that poor girl tolerated me for 3 hours?!)) You deserve... like... a medal or something. :) |
| from enurta : |
| you are so kind. thank you for writing to me...I want to send you snail-mail! is that alright? I love writing letters and you are so sweet, I want to send you some stuff :) you can e-mail your address to [email protected] if you want. it would mean so much to me <3 ps.i've lost your password when I switched computer (n bought me a new one)can you please send that as well? love you babe. take care xxx |
| from x-dead-x : |
| [dashing through the snow. In a one horse open sleigh. O'er fields we go. laughin all the way. {HA HA HA HA HA HA} oh what fun it is to play in the snow today! Oh jingle bells who the fuck cares? this song is so dumb.] I'm just really bored. and I hope you sang what was in the brackets because thats what makes it make sense. =) And if you didn't do it now. cause I'm bored and you're ignoring me on yahoo. |
| from chalkstain : |
| you can. i know. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I hope we'll be friends. He said we could be. I think it'll just be weird at first, though... maybe, in time, we'll be friends. |
| from chalkstain : |
| Hey Sweetheart. Firstly, of course you're not bugging me, you never do. It seems that you do that a lot, worry about irritating people, or even at the end of your entries sometimes - "I'm shutting up now." It's a very subtle way of being negative about yourself, yet I have noticed it. You need to stop that, Sunshine!! I genuinely love your notes, your enthusiasm, how you actually really seem to care. I keep going to leave ickle noties for you, but I never know what to say. It's not that I'm not reading what you've written, or that I'm reading and just don't care. I just don't know what to say to make it all go away. I know I'll never find the right words to make you happy, oh Lord, I'd have done it a thousand times over it it were at all possible. I hope you had a fantastic Valentine's, and that you and your sweetie are so happy together. I'm genuinely jealous of what you've got, not in a harmful way, just that I can see it's something that you really value and I hope above all hope that I can have something even a fraction of that someday, although, I'm sure I will. Sometime. Sometime doesn't seem to be coming up too quickly though. Oh well. I do understand what you said in the note, about the ED having you instead of you having it. I never gave it up, I just tried to quit writing about it so much. About the eating and the depression. Obviously, I can never really cut it out of my diary, if it is a true to life one, and right now it seems that all I've got are these disorders. It's okay though, I plan to get better. I really, really fucking do. And y'know, so should you. I'm gonna see how I do now, with the extra medication, this is more important to me now than it ever could have been. I'm gonna try so hard to not throw it up, it's really a waste of time, money, energy and other people's hope otherwise. And as for that picture you posted a few days ago, for some reason it wouldn't load for ages. But eventually, I rechecked it. And I couldn't stop grinning. You really are such a beautiful little girl Danielle, inside and out and you deserve much more than what you give yourself, what you allow yourself to have. So much more. ♥ |
| from miedema2002 : |
| Hi, I was wondering if you could please help me with my template. If you scroll down you will see that the navigation box is at the bottom when it should be on the top right hand corner(higher then it is now) of the screen if that makes sense. Can you please help me fix this? Thanks. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| It did help. Thanks, Danielle. I talked to Jenny just a few minutes ago and she wants me to wait until I see her in session so we can figure out how to tell him, in an effective way, without hurting his feelings (as much as possible, at least) and while respecting myself at the same time... how to tell him without running away and hurting myself afterwards. I see her next Friday. I wish I had Elizabeth. I don't even know her in person, but my feelings are so strong for her. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| G'day boy! =D Lol, it is ok about the Georgie-boy thingo! I am by no means offended. Dad is the only one who calls me anything other than Georgia :P And when I was little I always got mad at him for saying it. He be calling me "Georgi porge" and shit loads of other stuff. I don't know why I got mad at everyone ELSE (except him) for calling me that. And I made it clear that noone was to call me anything other than Georgia. And so now, noone calls me anything other than that! GRR! But it is my own fault because I told 'em not to ages ago. I think I just got mad about it because of the resentment I had toward my dad, does that make sence?? :S Yeah. Ha. But now I am way older and I am no longer caring about what people address me as (minus "slasher" by mum). Lol, I actually like to be called other stuff too. But of well. I'll shut up about my name now!!! God. Tis amazing how much I talk about small things. DUDE!!!! You get v-days gifts from Aunty Kimmy?!?!?!!? OMG! That's awsome!!!!!! =D I got hell excited when I read that part! Dude, I am going to go get mum something because yeah.. I dunno. She has no one :( It is a bit late, but she won't care, I guess. I sent you an e-mail. So go read it. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and please give me your number if you reply to it, too, please, ok? Ok. Good girl. I love you! I'm really happy that you're trying to fight mia. You're really such an inspiring person, ya know? :) I hope it won't get too much hharder to fight and that you can get better soon. I am here for ya though. ALWAYS! I love you so much. I'm really proud of you! I hope you have a really great day tomorrow!!! ♥ ♥ Happy Valentines Day! xxx |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hey, thanks for the note. Thanks for being proud of me. Thanks for all of your support in the past, present and future. Feel better... |
| from getinline : |
| I'm sorry things seem to be going so badly. I hope things are starting to look up for you. What you're going through would be hard on anyone, and I think you're doing an excellent job of handling it. To quote Joe Dirt: Keep on keepin' on :) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Come back! I had a dream the night before last and you were in it and now I'm dying to share the details and you're not here and I refuse to do it via note. ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| How have you been? Any better these days? |
| from lithorian : |
| I'm 15; turning 16 in march. And yourself? (Sorry it took me so long to reply, I'm very good at procrastinating. ) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Danielle, are you online? I want to hug you a million trillion times and tell you how much I love you... ♥ So if you're here.. if you feel like talking, I'm here... okay? ((hugs)) |
| from chalkstain : |
| where did you get such a sweet little soul from? thank you so much, gorgeous. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Thanks for caring. Tonight is almost as bad as last night. Will it ever stop? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Good mornign darl! *puts on Aussie old person accent* :P It's 8:01am and I have to leave at 5past!!! AHHH! Sorry I didn't do the secong part of the note, I got side tracked with effing homework! :( Um.... Yes I DID read about what those guys did lol BLOODY WANKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should have given them a bloody back hander! OH MY GOD!!!! You were alone with Hales for an hour! SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...gee.. I ca't imagine what you got up to *coughs* :) I'm glad you had fun! Ya should call her mum up and quickly say thank you, so then maybe she'll let you see Haley soon?? :) YAY YAY!!! Hm... Oh DANI! Don't worry about all the homework stuff. Just do what you can. Just try. uo can always ask the teachers about anythign you don't understand. That's what they're there for. FUCK! I'll be back on here to reply AGAIN to your note. I'm so sorry!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Sweet dreams! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Sorry I wasn't here last night, once I crawled into bed I didn't have the energy to crawl back out... I'm so sorry!! How was the movie?! I want to know what you think! Umm... Danielle... I LOVE YOU!! You make the world a better place because you are so fucking amazing! Seriously! You make me smile and you make me laugh and you make me feel good about being me (which isn't an easy task!!) and you listen to me and you understand where I'm coming from and you don't judge me and you love me and your one of a few and I probably don't thank you enough for everything you've done/do do for me, but it means so much to me knowing I have someone like you there to make life just that little bit more enjoyable! I get the whole wanting to push people away thing--believe me, I've done it!--but it'll just cause more pain, not only for them but for you as well. The people in your life, they are there because they love you and they care about you and they enjoy being around you. Don't you forget that, okay? And if anyone tries to tell you different, well then fuck them because they don't deserve someone like you! Okay, I'm shutting up now! I LOVE YOU!! XO ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Darlin, those dreams don't mean anything! They're a load of wank! They're not even a test, they're not truth, it's just bored "spirity" thingos who want to have a good time. It's got nothign to do with reality. So 'they' can get f****! You could never made us mad, and we'd certianly never yell at you. I love you so much. People like Angel, Cat, Hales, Anyarian, and I aren't the type of people who give up on the most amazing person. We don't give up on great relationships. We do not give up on you, and we WILL not give up on you, ok?!!!! Whoa. Dad just came in :S Scary... Ok, I know what you mean about what you've written iin your diary today. And I know how hard it is for you. The only thing that I can think of is having a healthy diet type thingo.. Like, maybe if it's healthy stuff you won't feel guilty. I dunno. You probably already are eating healthy stuff. Rrrr. I can't explain it :( Oh well.. la la la la la la la.. I'm so glad that you had fun with Haley the other day!!!! =====D YIPPI! What was her mum like when you got to her house?? Same, or still nice? OH YEAH! Waffles!!! I've seen them on 7th Heaven before lol!!! They look more like a dessert than a breakfast (mum told me it was breakfast food when i asked :S) I would like to try them, but they really just don't appeal to me :S OH MY GOD!!!! I'm so sorry!! I won't feed you pancakes!!! :-O I can't believe that :( It's so sad. I'm sorry that that's what you had to go through. I'm really sorry Danielle *hugs you really tight* I have forgotten what else you wrote in my note, so I shall go back and then reply again. I love you! |
| from x-crime-x : |
| I love you!! |
| from lithorian : |
| no, nobody in my family knows. They probably expect that I do, and I really don't care if they realize it or not. It's gotten to the point where this is how I eat & this is how I am and they aren't going to stop me, you know? Does your family know? I'm sorry everything isn't well, but cheer up, things will get better sooner or later. :) Promise, okay? |
| from lithorian : |
| About three years now. And I know I don't say this enough, but I adore reading your words. (And the song in your background had been 'my song' since the 6th grade. :) I hope you are doing well.) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| You are not pathetic. Not even for a fucking second. You are stuggling right now, yes, but it does not demean your character, it does not change who you are as a person. You are fucking amazing. You are one of the few people who actually understands me and listens to me and cares about me. And I can never thank you enough for that. You mean the world to me! ((Yes, I know that's fucking cheesy, shut the hell up!)) And I know, I fucking know, that you are stronger than all of this, you are stronger than the urges, stronger than the binging stronger than the purging, and even if it takes you a while to figure this out, I have confidence that you will at some point realize how truly beautiful that you are. As always, I am here, if ever you should need a helping hand and if none of this made sense, well my dear, I blame the vodka but in the end, I just want you know I love you more than words could ever express and I've got my fingers crossed for you. ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| are you here? |
| from chalkstain : |
| yeah, i'll never get it either. your cousin was there too, and my dead grandmother. and for the record, the dark purple one tasted the best ♥ |
| from x-dead-x : |
| ha ha ha! Its like 11 and I just freaked out looking for them! I figured something like that happened!! LMAO. I woke my dad up and was like "WHY'D YOU TAKE MY CD'S??!?!" and he's like "I DIDN'T TURN OFF THE LIGHT AND GO TO BED!" it was great. Yeah, I'll come get em tomorrow. I'm just glad you have them and I didn't lose them somewhere going down the road!! =D ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I didn't mean to come across as if I was accusing you of lying about throwing up.. and I'm sorry. As soon as I wrote that I thought "hmm.. I think she'll mis-inturpret that in soem way. Maybe I shouldn't write it," but I have said things before that I thought you'd freak over, and you haven't so I left it. I'm sorry. I love you so much. I really hope you're ok at the moment. Update soon, eh? I'm sorry for beign such a dickhead. I loe you ♥ |
| from chalkstain : |
| i dreamed that you were tasting different shades of nail polish with me last night. |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry, i shouldnt have said anything, you are the one there, so you probably know better anyways, i just think sometimes we think it should be obvious because we already know, but it isnt that simple. When you are the person who doesnt know, you often dont pick up on the clues, does that make sense? Anyways, like i said, you can tell better than i can, becuase you are the one there. How have things been? |
| from idontpretend : |
| lmao |
| from idontpretend : |
| If you say so you ignorant fuck. Have a nice life. ;D |
| from idontpretend : |
| Ok, you see, this is what I'm talking about you being ignorant. Just because she's nice to you, doesn't mean she's nice to everyone. I was messing with her about the holidays, trying to make her feel like I cared about her, during the holidays. And she decided to be bitchy towards me instead. It happens, and here we are. So fuck off, because I don't want to hear it. This was between Angel and me. Grow up. I'm not replying to anymore of your ignorant posts. |
| from idontpretend : |
| I don't care you idiot. Angel was being bitchy, I was being bitchy in return. She took it personally, and here we are. Ya'll don't like it, then tell her to quit being bitchy. I feel sorry for you, because you're so freaking ignorant. |
| from idontpretend : |
| If you knew what you were talking about, that would piss me off. But I'm just laughing, because you're an ignorant little shit, who seems to enjoy talking like a big, tough guy over the internet. And yes, Angel was being bitchy towards me, so I was being bitchy back. Fucking deal with it you dumbfuck. |
| from idontpretend : |
| I don't even know who the fuck that is you idiot. Oh, and keep calling me names, please. I give a fuck. |
| from idontpretend : |
| First of all, fuck you too. Second, cry, please. I assumed you were her sister. Idiot. She's been being shitty towards me since the holidays, and I snapped. Fucking sue me. Grow the fuck up. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| get on el yahoo por favor. necessito hablar con tu! andale! ♥ |
| from evangeline06 : |
| Ooops, sorry! I haven't been on in a while and I just got your note! I swear I'm such a ditz! lol! Well, here's what you asked for! http://www.myspace.com/iwillruleuall Sorry, I can't stay on long! I'll write you later! |
| from xeison : |
| Um, i think it is this ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| You made sense, if you ever want a way to counter the whole Bible argument, you can always ask. You say you wont get hurt, but is that really true? How can we ensure that we will never be hurt, even when a knight wears their armor of iron, a properly placed sword is still Death in the wind. i just, im sorry. Please just try to take care of yourself ok? i love you too *HUGS* :hearts; |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Thanks so much! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| anainsight, another person on dland, is looking for songs that deal with cutting. I told her I'd ask you. Do you know any good ones? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Err.. tht entry in x-crime-x?? Um, I don't remember what I ment by ending it.. But whatever it is, don't worry :) I love you so much. Please be strong ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| May i ask you a few things? One, is your Mother anti-homosexuality? Two, what are you planning on fixing? Three, and most important, how have you been? i hope you have been ok. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Thank you. :) |
| from x-dead-x : |
| Hey doll face. Yahoo? por favor? |
| from xeison : |
| You arent stupid, i was stupid, im sorry. |
| from x-crime-x : |
| What isn't fun anymore?? *eye twitches* I love you so much! ♥ |
| from x-dead-x : |
| What isn't fun any more, oh ever ruling queen of lollies? |
| from xeison : |
| The beatiful thing about Thunderstorms is that they always end with a rainbow, Angel taught me that one. i hope she, whoever she is, im sorry i was to stupid to know, sees that too. |
| from xeison : |
| See, it was so stupid, you didnt even realize i said it, i asked if we could talk, but that wont really help anyways, im sorry im so stupid. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| HOLY MOTHER FUCKER!!!!! Sorry about my french, but bloody hell!!!!! I just saw the note that Matt left you!!!!! SHITHOUSE!!! I have to be careful with what i say here atm, but that was way outta line, i think... I am talking to him on msn about it right now. God. Fuck everyone who is like that. Ya know how when people are getting married, the guy goes to the girls dad for his "approoval?" yeah, well I kinda have always thought in the back of my head that like, any bloke I'm with has to like you and stuff. Ok, that sounded totaly weird. But ya know?? Hm.. Well, it's not a bad thing, so don't take it that way. It just shows how close I am to you. Lol, when I read the note you left him, I did sence a little bit of... frustration lol! But at least you said sorry for it!!!!! Grr! Lol, it is up to you what you say to hm dearie. but I do think it's best to just leave it :P But by all means say what ya want! =D OMG!!!!! I was smiling so big when I saw that Happy Birthday thingo you made for me!!!!!! =D I just printed it out!!! It's gonna go on the back of my door! I'll brb, just gotta finish the cookies xxx Ok, back. That took a lot longer than I expected :( I am making cookies, but I think they're gonna turn out shit. Lately all my cooking has been crap :( Um.. what was i gonna say?? OH yeah! That song! No way!!! It does not make me sad!!!!! It's a beautiful song and I love it! don't get rid of it, yet! I was just heaps freaking out over everything.. Meh. I'm listening to Hawthrone Heights atm. Think i spelled that wrong. Can't be stuffed looking to the left at the cover lol :P Um, short entries??? Hm.. I dunno. It just.. I don't know how you really are. And.. Jake, he left short letters to me, and said very little to me when he was feeling like, hurting hmself, or worse. Dude, I just remembered that I've ALREADY told you about why I don't like it! :P I'm sure I did! So yeah.. La la la la la. YIPPI!!! 10 months!!!!!!!!! =D OMG! you have to see her more often Dani!!!! GRR! BREAK THE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hm.. I dunno what else i was gonna say :S Well, I gotta clean the kitchen. I'll probably come back later. I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from x-dead-x : |
| I KNEW that would have somethign to do with John Lennon. |
| from xeison : |
| Me either :(. im really worried, this probably sounds stupid, and probably is, but can we talk? |
| from x-striken-x : |
| yea.... hi dont laugh about the tounge thing if u dont know the full story... i feel like shit now that u have proven that my tounge is different... |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry that you feel like you are dieing, but i dont want you to sleep forever, i love you, and life wouldnt be the same without you. You are right, you are you, not your Mother, nor your Aunt. im sorry that eating didnt go so well today. i know you do not feel as though you are worth anything, but you are Danielle, and that is why Haley loves you, because you are good enough for her, you remember that note i wrote to her about love, that applies to you too, you are good enough for her, and Haley needs you just like you need her. She loves you, and she would never break up with you like that. im sorry that today has not been good, i love you *HUGS* |
| from getinline : |
| I hope you start feeling better, love. I wish you would take better care of yourself, but I know exactly how you feel. And it's not childish or stupid to want to be tucked in and cuddled and wrapped up in love, especially by your mom. Even if you live to be over a hundred years old, you are never too old to feel that way. Get well soon! |
| from xeison : |
| ill read the entry, im so sorry about Haley cutting more, and it is reasonable for you to be worried, it is always scary when those we love are hurting themselves, and i know you love her a lot. im sorry that things have not been going well these days. |
| from x-crime-x : |
| P.S What's with the entry before your recent one?!?! I totaly didn't follow it :S ♥ |
| from x-crime-x : |
| It's not childish to be sad about wanting a mummy.. Not at all Danielle. I think you're 'cold' happend because you're being told you need to rest, take it easy.. You're really run down and stressed. Please take care of yourself ♥ I love you! xxxx |
| from xeison : |
| When was your Birthday? im so sorry, Happy Birthday, though i guess it did not go so well, im sorry. May i ask what has been happening with Haleys Mom? Is Haley ok? |
| from xeison : |
| i know what you mean, im sorry that you are feeling that way *hugs*. May i ask, did something happen recently? im sorry i have not been keeping track. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| what a bitch! I know who's gong on our hit list nexxxxxxxxt! lol. |
| from x-crime-x : |
| Check your e-mails baby ♥ I love you so much! xxx |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| That is probably the single greatest compliment I have ever been given. I spent all last night thinking about it. Thank you. o.o |
| from allhopeslost : |
| Oh you don't bug me at all i just completely forget about the notes sometimes and don't check them. no i love that you care to give an opinion, thanks alot:] |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Hi! No I don't think there are problems with us right now,nothing really serious. I'm just in one of those moods lately ya know? Gah... |
| from repressedgrl : |
| Hi, can you please let me know how to fix the next and prev links on the template that I am using? Thank you so much. It's the goth girl template. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| *cough*Yahoo!*cough* |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i think that just made my day (err.. night!) of course, i still have a guilty conscience... STILL noone fucks with my girls! it just aint right! ((she had it coming?)) |
| from x-dead-x : |
| hola! que te gusta hacer? te gusta hacer haley??!?!?!? ha ha ha! Get on yahoo or something, dude. ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Whoa, I feel like my happy birthday thingo was shithouse now, compared to everyone elses! Bloody hell.. I'm sorry. Ok, you're gonna have a shower. No worries. YOu don't need to reply to it anyway, I just wanted to hear SOMETHING from you :P I love you too! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i so could have cheered you up. |
| from venting101 : |
| I hope you had a good Birthday and an even better year ahead :) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| pssssssssssstttttttttttt...... HEY! Come back! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i ♥ you birthday girl! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday |
| from evangeline06 : |
| HaPpY bIrThDaY! lol! I hope you have fun today! Just make sure you spend it with someone you love and nothing can go wrong! Trust me, I know. lol! Bye hun! |
| from pamperedpuma : |
| Happy Seventeenth hunny!!!!!!<p>XmwahX<p> Cxx |
| from chalkstain : |
| happy birthdaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!!! ~♥~ |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Happy birthday! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Hey! Where'd you go? I was all excited to talk to you and then you signed off! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| It matters to ME! ♥ |
| from chalkstain : |
| fuck that danielle. birthday's not only matter, but your birthday is a mega cause for celebration. y'know this birthday is a year closer to you being legally allowed to drink hehe. kidding. have a good one sweetheart. oh and don't get freaked out if you don't recognise the username. it's the one with the 'fairy dust' username/password... only the new year's version ♥ |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| ive been better. you? <33 |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Oh my god Dani! You are the best! You didn't only make me smile I laughed hehe I f*&@ing love you girlie! Thank you so much! :-) |
| from evangeline06 : |
| Wow, it sounds like you've had quite a day. I really hope things start looking up for you soon! Bye hun! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Alright, this is gonna be quite nosy of me, but you'll get over it :) 1) Who is face-down????? 2) what on eath is the story with Xeison!??!?!?! How come he left notes?!?!?!? He said Angel was cut up or something???? :S 3) You left me a note the other day (yesterady, i think) and you said Angel needs help.. What's wrong with her? What happend?? What's going on with her?!??! Can I help out in any way?!?! DUUUDE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I love her!!! Oh shit! Don't tell her that though. Shit, no I'm serious Dani, please don't! :( :S Ok, down to business here :) You're tottaly welcome for the wristo! lol, it looks like a 2 year old made it, but meh... I'm not good with that sort of stuff :P Lol, did you see Cathrine's tree??! =P OH! Dani, I dyed my hair!! :) It's kinda purple.. But it looks good with my new dodgy hair cut :P Whereas with my longish hair, I woulda looked like more of a freak! OMG! Dude, I'm going to Scarbora (can't spell it :S But go look up the W.A map and find it somewhere. Have a look at the place tooo, because apparently it's pretty or somethign.. :S). Yeah, dude, lol, I bought a Beatles band shirt yesterday, and a pair of checkerd shorts :S Um, I bought a Bullet For My Valentine wrist band, a cuff (very pretty one!) um..I'll shut up with the shopping shyte. I am so selfish. I don't deserve anythign. Freaking hell. *holds head* God, I had so many horrid dreams last night. Ugh. They were all about school and work. I screwd up everything. I nearly cried at one of them when I woke up. I felt like it WAS a reality. I'm so scared of this year. I don't know what I'm gonna do. All I can do is pray for a better tomorrow, huh? MOVING ON!!!! OMG! Dude, I've nearly finished my Marilin Manson!!! It looks awsome! Can you paint well? On a canvas?? Hmm.. lol, I have to telll you something :P Last night Matt and I kissed, we did the day before too, but we screwd it up and yeah.. Then I kissed him again last night. (oh, btw, he doesn't know how to kiss.. like, I'm pretty much his first :S He told me..) Yeah, anyways, I am determind to teach him, and teach him well! lol, but what i ddin't know, was that Georgie told him to give me a toungey! SO HE DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! He leaned in to kiss me, and straight away he shoved it in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-O Seriously, who does that???! I didn't do it back though. I told him to "keep it in for a while :P" But that didn't stop him!!! Danielle, what am I going to do?!!!?!!?!!? Like, he can kiss me cheek really nice and stuff =), but my lips.. man.. Danielle, you better not be laughing!!! Can you please please please tell me what to do??? Man, I wanna come home now.. I miss my "home." God, when you said that you'd write to me, i felt this wave of... I dunno.. pure bliss?? Perfection (on your side, not mine lol). Man, I was so happy. To think that I could actually TOUCH something that you've touched.. Man, that's so awsome, ya know? I love yo uso much Danielle. OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! Yesterday when I read your entry, I got hell worried (still am, alway shave been) about you! Ya know the thingo where people say you've lost weight but you deny it! Yeah, well dude, I dunno what to believe! People were saying you've lost weight and you said no, next thing I know is you're freaking 12 pounds lighter!!!!!! Dude! Seriously. Are you ok? Heaps of people are noticing it, so it's probably true... Are you eating??? Are you throwing up???? Exsessive excersize??? Dani, please tell me the truth. Whao. Georgie just sore what I wrote :S Golly golly God. I love you Danielle. I really do. DO you still love me??? :| YOu're so perfect. I can't wait until we meet. If I become a whore, I can ear a lot of money and I can come see you :) I have also been thinking about taking a corse this year on Deep See Fishing.. If I work nights, I can get $500 a night. If I keep doing it, I can come see you in no time! =D Or if I get a local job, I could see you.. I dunno.. Soonish?? :S i love you so much. YOu're so amazingly wonderful. la la la la la la. SO how are things with your uncle getting now?? Oh yeah, I read that your brother was moving in or something??? When will he??? How is Brittany going???? Does she seem happy?? :S What about you Danielle??? How are you?? Well, I better go now. I love you so mcuh. I hope you have a wonderful day ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| No, you arent at your houses, are there wars going on at your houses? She isnt dead, i guess they only cut her up really badly, i think. im so confused, everything is just blurred into existance, i dont understand. im sorry that i failed :'(. |
| from xeison : |
| im not back, you guys came here. They killed Angel :'(. i failed :'(. i LOVE YOU too. im so sorry :'(. |
| from face--down : |
| Dammit I deleted YAHOO! Let me re-download it! I need your opinion on something! Okay! I'm going to go do that right now so BE HERE! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| ((hugs)) I hate that feeling of waking up and thinking everything you just dreamt was reality. It can really screw up your head. Sometimes I confuse the two in my head and can't differentiate what's real and what's not. The other night I dreamt about Keith (the boy will NOT get out of my fucking dreams) and I woke up believing I had talked to him, and then like ten minutes later after the groggyness wore off I realized it was just a dream... :/ Err.. how are you doing? Haven't talked you in a while. :( Hope you're okay (you're not mad at me... are you? I hope not!) I LOVE YOU! ♥ |
| from x-dead-x : |
| si. soy online. andale! or however you spell it.... |
| from x-dead-x : |
| hey you. Yeah. YOU! are you online?? Get on AIM? POR FAVOR? I gots lots of notes to give you. 1 from Anya and one from Georgie =) And I need to talk to you! SO GET ON! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I love you! ♥ (And I promise I'll tell you, just not here and not now.) Be patient! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| hey whore get on aim! |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Hi! I'm glad to hear your christmas was mostly good. Ya I've been around I just am having a bit of a writer's block I guess you could say. It sucks because I've never been so at a loss for words. But I'm starting to write a little more and I will be updating more soon I hope. I've missed all of you guys too. And I'm really sorry! Love you girlie! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| && i love you! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| the funniest thing ever ever ever just happened and you're not here and that fucking sucks because it sounds like you could really really really use a funny story right about now and i would totally tell you right here right now but this is quite possibly too good to be told through a note and don't kill me, but now you're just going to have to wait until the next time we're both on together. :) |
| from imru : |
| sure, you can read it! : ) just email me at [email protected] and I'll send you a pw! |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Hi! Yes it's the best feeling yet it makes me feel horrible at the same time. Just very scared that someone is going to end it somehow. And I love you too!!!! God it's been forever since we have talked. I have been pretty good, how about you? Christmas was good how was yours? Love ya sweetie! |
| from lithorian : |
| You always leave such nice notes, I wish I could do the same. Mind if I have the pass? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Merry Christmas! ♥ I hope you're having a wonderful day. (And you know I want to hear all about it!) I love you! ((hugs)) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I LOVE YOU! ♥ I'm sorry. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| AH! Your computer has issues. Come back! I misssssss you. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Psssssssst...... Yahoo? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Oh dude, I so know what it's like to get the same size clothes, but they're all made different and hardly fit! Grr, it happens to me all the time. Man, I hate it when I try on clothes, and they're a tad loose, so I go down to the next size smaller, and it's too tight!!! WTF?!?!!?! :( O well. HA! I bet you DO look curvier in that shirt =D And curvy is good! I like curvy. I wanna see you in your new clothes!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you! Try not to worry about the clothes ok? Because it IS the stupid people who made them!!! Not you or your body! :) I LOVE YOU! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Where the hell ARE you?! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I LOVE YOU! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| *I run up to you and hug you~!!!!!* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| *I start "aww" ing* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| *you pull a cute face* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| *I give you an evil stare* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| *you smile at me* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| *turns around and looks at you* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| *walks off in a huff* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| You're a bad bad bad bad BAD girl!!!!!!!!! No more smoking! I'm gonna tell Cathrine off for letting you! Grr. Bad girl!!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I love you. You're beautiful! &&& I want to see pictures of you in your pretty new clothes!! ((hugs)) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Good night. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| ♥ ♥ ♥ LOVE YOU! ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Danielle... My Dad is being a shithead and saying how even though I'm feeling shitty now, I shouldn't "plan" on calling in, and how I need to go to bed cause I have to get up at 6:30 blah blah blah And "You wouldn't normally stay up this late if you had work tomorrow!" Fucking ass! I've been sleeping all day! I'm sick of my bed. And since when do I have a bedtime? So I'm going to go lie down now and wait for these meds to knock me out I guess... Um. I'm sorry. I LOVE YOU! Don't let them get to you, okay? You're better than them! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (can you tell i'm avoiding going to bed?) ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from pain-relief : |
| Hey, Thanks for your note. We�ve talked about it before him and I, and before he just said, "well I don�t know, I need more time" which for me says, "well there still is a chance, I think I do like you, I just need more time" but I guess he actually said "I don�t like you enough, nothing�s gonna happen" so I don�t know. Well I guess I have to move on, before I drive myself crazy. Thank you very much for your note. It made me smile a bit. I like the thought of him being pathetic ;-) hehe |
| from x-dead-x : |
| Get off the internet!!! |
| from x-dead-x : |
| oooooooooooo........... I LIKE IT!!!!!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| It fuckered up again, didn't it? Piece of shit AIM! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| :'''( You updated but you didn't leave me a note.. It's ok.. I forgive the master of kindness and love :P haha! Aww, what's wrong with your best friends?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I LOVE YOU!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| What's wrong?! ((hugs)) I LOVE YOU! (even if AIM doesn't.) ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I'm back and slightly less emotional and tear free. Err.. sorry bout that other note. You just ignore it. What I wanted to say was... I am proud of you for making it a week without purging! That is so so so amazing! GO YOU! And um.. okay I forgot to mention this before, but I wanted to make sure you knew... It's NICE hearing about people having good days! And to hear that someone (especially you!) is starting feel a little better about things/life/herself. You shouldn't feel guilty! (Though I understand completly what you're saying.) But it... it gives us all hope, you know? You're like an inspiration! That it can be done, that we shouldn't give up, because it is possible! You do all that. YES YOU missy Danielle! *Gives you shiny gold star* So have you read any of your new book yet? It's good, I promise and if you don't like then there's something wrong with your head... ! Haha I found out about it cause I was talking to Cat and she asked me what books I had bought from Amazon and I told her and then she goes "Oh does Sharp Objects have a razorblade on the front?" I'm like YEAH! And she's "Oh my little sister bought that for Danielle!" I was like HEY!!!! I TOLD her about that book! Woo! Weird! Okay. I gotsa reply to Georgia's note. I LOVE YOU! LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ P.S. FIX YOUR AIM! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Danielle I am so proud of you. You're going amazing. And I'm glad that you are feeling better and even having good day. And shit... I'll finish this later. I've got to make these tears stop first. I love you! Sorry. |
| from repressedgrl : |
| Hi, thank you for liking my poetry. I am so sorry for not leaving a note it was late when I added the template went to bed and it totally slipped me I'm sorry. Thanks for showing me how to fix the links. I am not familiar with your html coding. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Why does AIM hate you so much!?!?!?!? AH! I LOVE YOU! ♥ |
| from ethereal-red : |
| I know I'd never be happy with whatever weight I'm at. It'd never be low enough. It never is. I do wish I could disappear. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hm. A lot of the time I wish I weighed 92 pounds, which is my lowest weight ever. In the grand scheme of things, it's not even that low. I guess, though, in the other, more important grand scheme of things, having that low of a weight isn't that important, I suppose. I am no longer trying to reach that weight. Now I'm just staying where I am and am unhappy with it. What's new, though, right? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Nope, I don't know what Paramore is. Music I assume?? lol, you're so funny! "Shit, someone's up!" You say it like a bomb will go off if someone touches the floor :P But I understand how it's nice just to wake up and actually GIVE yourself time to wake up before having to act like everything is ok straght away. Ok, that made no sence. Sorry. But I get it, even though my explination was shit house. DUDE! You gotta start using Oz Town words! HAHA! Just so you know, I'm missing out on seeing Charmed tonight, because I'm writting to YOU! Evil cow!!!!!!! :( I made you a wristo today (a braclet. however ya spell it!) It says Dani Poo, but I like it, so I don't wanna give it to you! haha, I've got it on now! :) Lol, I spoze I could make another one.. I'll send it to you with your Christmas card! BTW, I wrote it yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D I think I told you that already :S hmm.. But don't make fun of the card, because it's crap! It's got a koala, and other shit house animals on it.. The writting is messy too, but I ain't sayin gsorry for that :P Um.. How'd you find out about Brittany??? :S What did you say to her??? I know she has eveything, but if she didn't have some sort of 'sadness' inside, why would she do it? Like, I don't get why she'd do it.. Have you read her diary??? I dunno if I should have told yo uabout it before or not :S I'm sorry if you wanted me to tell you or somehting. Dude, when I first met her, and saw how old she was, I thought it was really stupid that she had all the 'troubled' peoples diaries and stuff.. Like the ed, and cuttin gones.. She'd learn a lot from them (in a bad way) and I have always wanted to tell her she shouldn't read them (including mine) but I know she'd think I was talking a crock of shit, ya know? I think part of that.. is maybe her trying to fit in or somehting.. Like at that age, we all try to, but maybe it's just with the wrong 'crowd...' Maybe she's scared of growing up?? I dunno. What di you say to her about it???? Member my entry yesterday how I said I'd call kate and see how she was?? Yeah, well, I didn't call her, I rode over to her house and her blid in her bedroom, was slightly open, and her light was on, I put my face against the window and smiled like a freak until she realised that I was there lol. It only took her about 5 minuites so it was all good :D She nearly shat herself when she saw me though! >.< Turns out she was actualy ok.. but I made her stay over again last night. She laughed a lot, which was nice :) Bloody hell! I feel like eating something.. But it's too late to eat now. It's 9:03pm (daylight savings time, but Georgia's time: 8:03pm :P So maybe I CAN have somehting to eat???) OH I KNOW! I made some vegie soup! I can have that! :) Not too heavy aye? Hm... Man, I'm going Christmas shopping for my nanna tomorrow! She's gonna give me a list.. :S I hope I do it right for her though. I always screw things up for everyone, and I don't want to, just this once! Oi, what's all this about Xeison??????????? You said he was leaving, but he didn't say good bye to me :( Is he gone??? Man, it was so great to know him.. I don't want to say good bye. I love him. He is amazing. Do I leave a note or something???????????????????????? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! HE CAN'T LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'( ............................................................................................................................................................ ................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................. ................................................................................................................................................... .. . . . . .. . . ........................... Um, Vics Vapour drops will help you breathe better with your cold, want me to send you some?? Hm.... OH! That reminds me! About the stuff you said in x-razor-x. Dude, it's a test! When you're happy, it doesn't mean that you don't deserve it! It is just spozed to push you into believing that people aren't always happy. Their unhappines won't last forever, so it's ok. Man, that made no bloody sence!!!! It hapens to me a lot! I'll have a great day, come on here and y'all are hurting. It hurts to see y'all like that, and I used to hurt myself over it, but now I know that I can't control it.. I'm still not sure if MY happiness causes everyone's sadness.. But I'll figure it out :) When you have bad days abd come on here and others have had a good day, is it refreshing to feel their happiness??? Yeah, well it's the SAME for us when we read about your happy days! :) SO don't hold back :) OMG!!! lol, when I was reading that entry, I was like "OMG! She's affraid of change, like me! I will tell her that in a note! She's gonna think I'm smart! =D" And then you went "I'm scared of change" and I was so disapointed! I wanted to tell you that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I can't show you my little ray of smartness :( I'm affraid of change too.. That's why it's hard to stop harming myself.. Like, I've had it for so long, that I can't imagine life without it. I'm angry at Tanya (the new shrink) because I have to adapt to her, and she's a lot differnet that Sarah. I reckon that part of the hate for myself, is because my body ha\s changed.. I was never told about (ugh, I hate this word!) puberty and all that, so I got really angry because I look different now. That's why I always have tried to cut my (eek, yukky word too) breasts off and stuf.. Omg.. this is so embarrasing talking about this stuff. I hope it's ok that I do though?? Yeah, lots of other stuff about ym body have made me hate myself. Then just other factors, like my family and stuff. My mum always wants to move houses really quickly, but I am too scared because I don't want to leave the memories behind, ya know?? Um, I have a huge resentment for Charlie (the dog) because he's new to out 'family.' My brother and i can't deal with change TOGETHER as brother and sister, because, I dunno, neither of us can do it.. I have no sence of style because I'm affraid to leave my sports clothes behind lol, that sounds so stupid, but yeah. It's true :P I don't socialise well because I'm affraid of knew people. Fuck sake! You being the smart bastard that you are, you probably are sitting here going "I wish she'd shut up already! I know all this!" I'm sorry for blabing on about that! AHH! Aww, I don't feel like eating now :S I have a weird feeling in my throat. Feels like I'm nervous or somehting. Meh. YAY!!!!! THE ZOO! =D Wow, you like Zebras?? Cool! I don't know if we've got Zebras over here in the zoo :S I can paint a horse if you want though?:) What did you have for dinner?!?!?!?!?!!??! HUH!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?! Did you eat ANYTHING!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?! I'll shut up now. I love you so much!!!!!! I love you I love you I love you I lov you I love you!! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| *coughahem*you better be studying young lady*coughcough* |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Just kidding! I LOVE YOU! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Uhhuh.... SURE it did. |
| from venting101 : |
| well, he didn't just disappear...really...he was working lots and he just didn't come online. we find it easier to chat on msn rather than call all the time (we live in different cities when i'm at school) so he was just too tired from working to come online....it's cool...I just kinda wanted him to let me know he was still alive after i hadn't talked to him for a couple of days! hehe but he's all good thank goodness:) and yeah, things with us are swelly mc swell swell! i have exams right now though so i'm preoccupied with studying...bleh...i will perhaps write you a more meaningful note at a nother time! hehe :) have a good night! |
| from venting101 : |
| aww thanks, you are a sweetheart! that note made me smile :) and he is ok...i figured as much....i was just worried like the little worry wart that i am....I told him that he should at least text message me and let me know he's alive when i haven't talked to him or heard from him in a few days haha so yay for everyone being alive :) hope you're doing well!! <3 |
| from x-dead-x : |
| Do you want another week groundation???? Yeah, you better not backtalk me when Ihave a big metal spoon in my hand because I will chase you with it, and I will use it to pry the door open, and I WILL tell your father. lol. ♥ |
| from ethereal-red : |
| If I should be happy about my weight, I'm trying to figure out WHY I should be happy about it. Happy because I worked so hard to get it that low? Happy because it's not an inpatient weight, therefore keeping me out of the hospital? Or... happy for all of the above reasons and then sad at the same time because it's not as low as I'd like? I don't know. I'm so mixed up. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Lmao! BIN DAY!!! YOU don't know what that is!!?! FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha! Every Friday the big wheelie bins get put out the front of the house, and big truckers coem empty them! I call it bin day.. because.. it's just bin day!!!! =D hehe! So, you like pizza and lasange (can't spell that, get over it!) so if ya mum (not mine) goes "what do ya want for tucker!?" You say "pizza!" or "lasange!" =D Got it?? Good. Then on thursday night, ya mum (not mine, just me, too :)) goes "luv, it's bin day tomorra! Put the bins out aye!" Yeah.. hahahahahahaha! Got it!?!? Good! :) I love you Danielle! Thank you for all the "I love you"s =D I LOVE YOU TOO! Oi, do you know what 'the doll' is??? Just wondering. haha. Um. hmm. Gotta vaccume soon. AHH! NAH MATE! I'm sorry for not making myself avalible enough to you for you to be able to talk to me about that stuff. I want you to know that I won't think that becaus eyou think badly of yourself, that I should. When I first met you, I was already thinking like that. At times with Racheal, I wonder to myself if I should be thinkin gworse of myself, but now I understand it :) I know that I should not do it. It won't help me, or anyone else. ya know? yeah, I know you know! :) I love you!!!!!! OK OK OK!!!!! I'll get that.. iam thingo! Just tell me how to do it and I will! :) DAMMIT Danielle! If you don't tell me what to write in your card, I'll go insane!!! I've asked you a millon times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol :P ♥ haha! I love you! I love you so much. Well I hope the stuff that was bothering you the other day is alright now.. ANd don't stress too much about Little Haley :) She'll make it through. Just keep on lovign her and show her you care. Don't blame yourself fo rthe way she feels.. It's not your fault. I love you so much! I love you Danielle, sweet dreams xxx |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Oh man, I just had a major brain freeze! OWWIE! I'm eating a frozen Multi-V juice box thingo, that's why :) I spent the day at Racheal's house today. We watched soem movies and went for a long walk. I didn't drink all day!!! I get too embarresed to drink at other peoples houses, so I didn't drink for over 7 hours! :''( I just got home and skulled 3 bottles of water and half a glass of orange juice, now I've got the frozen thingo =D Alyces mum is being a total wacko again :( My mum saw Alyce at work and asked how things were at home, and she started crying :( So my mum said she is gonna stay here for a while.. *sigh* I don't mind that she comes here. She likes it here, but like.. She gets bored easily, and I have to occupy (sp?) her every second. She's really messy here too. But that's ok, I guess, right?? She deserves to have time away from home :) Ugh, dad called thismorning. Assie. I get the feeling he 'knows' soemthing... I can here it in his voice.. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GUESS WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!????????????!?!???!?!!? I saw The Craft today!!!!!!! The whole time while I was seeing it, I was thinking of YOU! Wow, that movie was awsome!!!!!!!!!! Crazy, weird, scary, insane, but awsome! :) WHAT!?!?!?!?! You don't know what tucker is?!?!?!?!?!? Man, I need to teach you some Aussie words! lol, tucker is pretty much another word for dinner =P What was the other thing you asked?!?!?!? Um.. I dunno :( AHH! Guess what!?!?!?! Remember when I asked you what a snitch was???? And I said that I wrote down on paper a few other words that I didn't know?? Yeah, well, I found that piece of paper yesterday!! HAHAHAHAHA! One of the words was cussing.. What's that mean??? I can't remember what the other one was though :S Oh dude, you know that movie I was talking about the other day? You and Your Stupid Mate! Yeah, well, I'm sending that to you, but it's gonna be a burnt one.. Is that ok?? Aww.. I'm sorry about what happend with you and Hales today :( I love you both so much, and believe me, you don't treat her badly, she loves you so much. If you treated her badly, she wouldn't be with you. DUDE! YOu can't posibly go 2 weeks without seeing Haley! MAN! Well, you can, but you don't HAVE to, so what's the point?!?!? Just say your going out somwhere, or with Cat, and spend the day with HER! Far out, what's the point in being a teen if you can't partake in crazt things to get to see your girlfriend!! DO IT! Aww, my juice box has finished now.... Haha, I'm wearing a t-shirt, and knickers *cute kiddy face* NO PANTS!!!! =D It's 4:59pm.... HAHA! Oh, shit... Danielle.. guess what?? ..... I think I am about one month Dexie free... Can you believe that?? Whoa. Go me. Gone from taking 3 a day, and a shit load more crap, to nothing :) I haven't had panadol either :) Just my anti-depressants and 3 shots. Yeah, um... I just thought you'd like to be the first to know that =) I love you so much. I can't wait until we meet. It will be heavenly crazy.. BEAUTIFUL! :) I love you! Ok, I'm gonna go back and see what else the note said :) I love you! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS INTERESTING! So hush! Before I make you! Guess what? Your diary didn't kick me off today... I think x-razor-x hates me more.... ANYWAYS! I LOVE YOU!! ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| i didnt do anything, you did all the work, you are the amazing one, not me. Your entries are not stupid at all, they are very insightful, at least for me. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Haha, I'm back now! :) Mum just came home with one of the residents from work! I love him! haha, he's so cute! :) When my mum is on night shift, she sleeps in the offic bed and Anthony (the resident) coem in and leans right in her face, breathing reall heavy until she wakes up, lol, then he goes "lady??...... Lady??.... LADY!!!!!!!!" Then when she's fully alert, he goes "lady, can you tuck me in???" Aww hehe! So she tucks him in his bed (he sleeps sitting up though) and when she walks out of the bedroom door, he yells "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE LADY!! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Then she turns around and he goes "aww.. sorry lady.. You got whiskers!!!!!" lol =D When he says 'you got whiskers' to someone, it means that he likes you :) He likes my mum :S haha. He does all sorts of things like that. Everytime he sees me he comes up to me and goes "Anthony Gill Shannon!" and puts his and out for me to shake :) Then he goes "girl! Girl, you stay here while I go away. YOU STAY!" :) Haha, when I was at his group home, we brought in a vaccume, and he started patting it and goes "Hi vaccie, I'm Anthony! Anthony Gill Shannon!! Stay here *smiles* NO! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" He says things like that a lot, but he just says it, he doesn't mean it, ya know? Ok, you bored with that now?? Ha, I'm sorry! I ramble a lot, specialy arond you :S AHH! BULL SHIT!!! I bet you a million bucks (manopoly money though :) 'cause i don't have that much bucker-roos!) that you could do more sit-ups that ONE! Duh! I know you could. Start with crunches though. Because sit-ups is tough on ya back :( Owwie *pokes your back* I LOVE YOU!!!!! Man, I love you so much. You're the bestest thingo everah!!! I love you! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Wuz up dawg!?!? :) Haha, it's been a while since I left you a note on THIS diary eh? haha, YOU'LL LIVE! :P Man, you think your xxplaydeadxx diary ain't interisting?!?!?!?!?! FARQUAD! Dude, it is awsome! That's why I get up everyday! So I can read what you have written! I would die if I couldn't read it anymore :( It's just.. I dunno.. I love you and um.. Long story short: YOUR DIARY IS NOT GETTING STUPIDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D I LOVE YOU! Ok, don't worry Dani! Stop it! It won't do any good. I told you that when I need you to help me with it, I'll definantly ask you. I know I will, because you are the only one who I believe in enough to do that.. I don't think that made sence, but ya know? I could NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER stop eating! I mean, seriously! The longest I've gone is 4 days lmao! That's pathetic! I have to eat, it's as simple as that. I am actually quite a healthy person. I have a few rough egdes I needa fix up (hips, tops of thighs, and strengthening arms, etc). I feel a little bit of power when I'm throwing up, and a release of anger. But that's it. Nthing too emotional blah blah :) Have you had a candy cane before??????????????? I had on yesterday!!!! Aw, dude.. Danielle, man (sorry about saying 'man' all the time lol, it's a phase, i'll get over it soon! However, I'll never get over 'dude'! Been saying that too long to give it up now :P) I'm so proud of you for trying! You have no idea how hapy that makes me. But, I need to help somehow... Whether it be to talk to you about it, or just to make you laugh or something.. ya know? I'm not sure how to make you laugh anymore and stuff. I love you more than ever though! =D Last night I read ALL of the notes you left Angel.. You seem to really talk to her about stuff, and like, you're not affriad to tell her. I dunno. I guess I'm.. EKK! I'M JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *covers face* I'm jealous, and I'm worried.. I feel likew you don't trust me enough to talk to and stuff. Um, ugh. I'm here if you need though, and am always glad to listen to you. I really hope me saying that won't make you mad at me, if it has, I'm really sorry. I love you.. Aw Dani! There was a lot a 'sighs' in the note you left me :( Are you alright today? Do you feel sad?? :'( ......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .............................................................................................................................................................................................. ...... . . . .................................................. . . . . .. .. . . ... ........................................................................................................................ ........................................ haha, I don't know why I put all those dots their. Hmm.. DAMMIT DANIELLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You still haven't bloddy told me what to put in your Christmas card!!!!!!!! Ooooh, maybe I'll send lots! =D In a big envolope! AHHH! I should run an envolpoe business! =D WE should!!! haha, I can't even spell it right :'''( ................,...... ....................... ............... . . .. .... . .. . . . ................................... . ........................... I need to tell you something.. It's about Br. EEK! NEVER MIND! :) ♥ lol, you're insane! I don't get the 'same pressure' on the cracks thingo though.. Like, do you have to have half your foot on the crack, and half off the crack or something??? hehe you and your colours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL! hehe! Danielle's nuts!!!!! *happy dance* Whoa, I just got a message. Haha, they're only doing that because they're bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ha, I know all about that! :P I'm gonna write your cards today! NO MATTER WHAT! I dunno if I'll send 'em today though... I'm going out to my mum's work party at 3pm til 8pm. Fuck. GRR! Calm down!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $#%&^&(^@#@% FUCKER!!!!%^&%^*^%&#$#@%@#$5 ASSIE#@!$@#^$%*&* MOLES%^#%^*(%)^!)#)%*(@$%&*^%)(#$#)%!#@_$%(&*$^!_@)(%&)(*!$%*^($@*#$(*%@#_%^@$&$MOTHER FUCKING COWS@%$&^#%^*&)(*$%#!)*^%$()#*^%()!@#($_!@#(*%$%*^STUPID PEOPLE#&%^)(&%#!)*^*%)#$(!%)#$*^%)@$%*^#_($*&%^)*&(BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok I'm done! FUCK! mum's here bye! love you! |
| from cheekyash : |
| thank you sweetie. yeah i knew it was you (somehow). i think i just recognised the cute way you write or something. haha take care love |
| from tutu13 : |
| can i have YOUR password?<BR> pleaseeee.<BR> |
| from tutu13 : |
| hullo. this is SLASH13. im making a new diary. and i guess this is it. its not much. and im lame, but you might like me. :] myspace is still the same. /goaskalice13. check it out sometime. dianne. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Sorry that was really random... I LOVE YOU! And I hope you had FUN shopping with Cat! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Dude I was browsing through the members area and I clicked on a diary and it was one of your templates! I was like, HEY that looks familiar. Good taste, that one. ;) |
| from xeison : |
| i didnt do anything. im still here, but he did win, i lost. i love you too. |
| from xeison : |
| i didnt do anything. He already won, i lose. i love you too. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| hee hee. Can I come over tomorrow afternoon??? I have something incredible to show you!! Its so amazing I can't even tell you what it is. And I'll bring my little sister's gift as well. You don't get yours because a) I don't have it yet and b) you're being mean to me! lol jk. You're not being mean... OK I gotta go to bed. Toodles. |
| from getinline : |
| You're right, it is none of their business. But people are dumb and they think they are entitled to stick their noses into everything that happens and want to make sure people know exactly how they feel about it. I'm not really a people person, if you can't tell :) I'm sorry you cut yourself, but I know exactly what you're going through. It is hard to stop, and I doubt that I'll ever completely stop (especially since I don't want to, lol), but you can do it. It's hard when you're sitting in an empty room and all you can think about it is cutting and there's nothing or no one to stop you, but the longer you go without, the easier it becomes. As for me, I'm doing pretty good, considering. Fighting a cold and trying to get up enough motivation to study :) <3 |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Haha. I feel like I'm hogging your notes page. Your stuck with me ALL day and night now CHICA cause I'm crippled... Sucks to be you. ;) Just kidding! But seriously, what the fuck else am I going to do? OH YEAH! Gotta watch Intervention. So you'll be free of me at least an hour... I'd like to attempt a shower but... meh... sounds kinda difficult... AH! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I wouldn't think you were a loser!!! No way. But sadly, No, not a Verizon customer... :( Pfft. Um. So I never replied to you note did I? Sorry about all the randomness of last night... I plead the fifth! Um um um! Guess who didn't have to go to the mandatory meeting today? I'll give you a hint: The girl whose fucking back went out leaving her barely able to move and fighting tears. (Yeah, that would be ME.) I'm in so much fucking pain right now, it's not even funny... :( I have all these pillows behind me to keep my back straight but I still can feel the stabbing/shooting pains... Hm. Looks like this is going to be another unproductive night. At least I have an excuse this time, right? Right! Yeah the meeting was supposed to be about just work and blah blah blah the same old. So it's not like I'm missing anything really. How goes the AIM battle? I still can;t fucking believe you got it to work (once?) and I wasn't even here! Fucking figures. How are you doing today? Everything okay...? I hope so! I LOVE YOU! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Aw you're probably sleeeeeeeeeeeping. Young'in. (Just kidding!) I LOVE YOU! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Can I call Brit-a-nee's phone? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| No I'm not cool enough to have text messaging.... :( Awwwwww.. I wanted to talk to you on the telephone... :( |
| from thatgirlx : |
| How fucking weird is it that we were leaving each other notes at the same time? (12) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| (#11) Random question of the day... Do you have a cellphone? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| And obviously, we need a tenth, right? Right!!!!!!!!! I mean... it's basically mandatory. Speaking of mandatory, I have a mandatory meeting to go to tomorrow. GAH! Do you want the wind, too? It's a packaged deal, snow AND wind. You have to take them both!!! I don't want either or them. Okay? Okay! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| This is like... the ninth note in a row from me! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) Don't let him get to you hunny. He's just a prick who gets off on putting other people down and making others miserable so he can somehow feel good about himself. He's not worth it. Not worth the cut, not worth the vomit, not worth the tears, he's not even worth the sentences you spent detailing his idiocricy, but I understand you needed to get that out, and that's it's about you and not him so that's okay. Can I smash his fucking head in now? Yes? Okay. :) Will do! && You will get to meet everyone. You will! We'll all get together to one day and be crazy happy and it'll be surreal and so beautiful and so so so worth the wait and you're getting the biggest motherfucking hug in the world so get ready!!!! ♥ I LOVE YOU!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I LOVE YOU TOO! (x1000000000000000) Because I'm lazy and I'd rather waste my time harassing you to FIX YOUR AIM..... ;) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| You love me? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Do it NOW! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I know you're here! Get your ass on AIM! FIGURE IT OUT! (I'm so totally going to harass you until you do.) ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Awwww... I suppose you probably want a REAL note, huh? Okay, first off... I had this crazy ass dream last night... and I was talking to you over the internet on AIM... and it was morning early morning and I was supposed to getting ready for work... but I was talking to you. :) And then the Shithead came and picked me up but he didn't take me work we just sat there in the car... it was weird... I don't remember much more. Ummm... anyways... RANDOM! Sorry. You dork. Remember about the thing I was embarrassed about? And you said it's not.... THE GROSSEST THING EVER! Remember? Sicko! Um. My ear hurts too.. I think I have an ear infection or something. Everything is really LOUD today at work all these little demon childen will running around and screaming and I wanted to fucking strangle each and every one! (I'm so pleasant!!!) Gross. About shoving their faces. Thanksgiving... I don't think I ever told you about it.. I was sitting across from my Brother and he was just stuffing his fucking face and I couldn't help it I just started laughing and Mom yelled at me and told me to "Stop making fun" I'm like I'm not, I just didn't think it was a race! And he kept cramming more and more food in and ah! It was disgusting! And then he went to pick up something with his fork it was... I don't remember something slippery and it kept falling off and he kept stabbing it and it kept falling and I kept laughing I couldn't help it and everyone yelled at me. I can't control my outbursts! Like SHIT! I don't know! Um. The show is on A&E it follows people with drug addictions or eating disorders or stuff like that and then they have the interventions. It's pretty interesting. It's on at 10pm... so I'm guessing 9pm there? I think you're an hour behind me... Ah! It's SO cold outside. I'm going to ship all the snow to Tenn for you, okay? Cause I'm SICK OF IT! ♥ LOVE YOU! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| AHHHHHHHHHHHH! MAKE IT WORK!!!! DANIELLE! MAKE IT WORK!!!! |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Oops! I meant looking over your profile, not your diary, as your diary is locked. Can I get access to it? My email is [email protected] if you'd like to email me the info. |
| from ethereal-red : |
| Hi, Danielle! My name is Emily. I'm glad that you like reading my diary, and after looking over your diary, I'm adding you as a friend as soon as I finish this note. Amy's in the group home for chemical dependancy and schizoaffective disorder, which is like schizophrenia. I'm happy to know that I am not the only one who just can't get out of bed a lot. Just moving to shut off that damn alarm clock can be torture. |
| from xeison : |
| Are you doing ok? im glad you have been feeling happy today. |
| from getinline : |
| Hey sweetie, I was just catching up on your diary and I just wanted to say that I hope you are feeling better!! Obviously I don't really know you, but you seem like such a sweet, wonderful person and it's clear that Haley loves you very much. She just wants the best for you, and doesn't want to see you do anything that will hurt you. I hope things have improved, and if they haven't yet, just keep in mind that they will. Stay strong!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| See? I told you you'd figure it out!!!! ♥ Sorry I haven't been around much these past few days... I don't know. I just keep having these mood swings, where some days I don't give a fuck about anything and I feel sick and like giving up (days I'm usually not around) and then I'll have my semi-okay days where I feel like being known and talking to people and blahblahblah. I still feel sick but whatever, I felt like reading some diaries. Ah! Fucking Jake. That made me laugh. One time I was playing soccer with these kids and there was girl I didn't like so I pretended to kick and miss the ball and kicked her really hard in the leg instead. It was funny. Ummm... NO! Ew! How could you even think that!? EW EW EW! My lowest weight was um.. 111 I think (And that's when I wasn't even "sick") Or at least I didn't think I was sick at the time... Er. Um. Yeah. I was using a lot of drugs at the time so... :/ And I don't care how much you weigh, ED's are not healthy for ANYONE! And those sites are not healthy for anyone either, whether you've already got an ED or the beginnings or an ED or are even THINKING about ED's. The problem with those sites is that they portray the message that EDs are a lifestyle, and that it's okay. And they're not. It's a disorder, and it's not okay. I mean, obviously I'm not the right person to be telling you this when I'm not exactly fighting mine at the moment... but umm.. I just don't think you need the extra fuel is all. I understand about needing to do it on your own and not for anyone else, I really do... but just... I don't want you to get it in your head that this is a lifestyle and that it's acceptable and not a problem. (Err.. you know what I mean right?) The friend you were talking about... was it Cat? Because I just read her entry and it really scared me. About now how she understands because it's happening to her... :/ I left her a note but I couldn't collect my thoughts enough to make much sense and it probably came off all retarded and lectury sounding and hopefully she's not pissed off about it... *sigh* Ummmm... Have you ever seen the show Intervention? On Sunday, they are going to have a girl on there who has Bulimia... I don't know why but for some reason I find watching stuff like that fascinating. Um. Okay... shutting up now. I love you! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I LOVE YOU!!! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Hurry up! Figure it out figure it out figure it out! Just kidding! I want to TALK to you. Did you get Yahoo downloaded? Cause I can download that if you can't get AIM to work. ;) Uhmmm... Jake sounds like a prick. I know plenty of guys like.... *sigh* I guess you never really get over being left for a chic...? And a cool super hot one at that? I mean.. shit that must be rough on him!!! HAHA! Sorry it's funny. Oh man. You're not being nosy.. it's just.. really embarrassing. I didn't actually TELL him anything I gave him a link about something and told him if he read it he could probably figure out what I was talking about... it's really... ugh.... i would tell you but then you'd think i was gross like Xeison does... so... i don't want to make that mistake again... :( Uhmm.. Danielle, about your weight thing.... the sicker you get, the mose weight you lose, the more distorted your perception of your body becomes... that's why you don't think/feel any thinner. that's why it's so dangerous, you can't see what's really there only what your mind wants to see.... :( please be careful. it really sucks you in... when i was at my lowet weight, that's when i felt the biggest.. it's twisted like that... ummm... are you sure it's oaky to send you something at Cat's house? I don't want to make cat feel bad, but maybe I can send you both something. :) What does Cat want? |
| from xeison : |
| i do not agree with you that you are disguisting, because you are not disguisting, but i do understand why you feel and think that way about yourself, or rather, i probably dont, but i think i dol and i will try to explain it to them. |
| from xeison : |
| They do not get you seeing yourself as fat and throwing up? Do you want me to try an explain it to them? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| LMAO You're funny when you're frustrated!!!!!! Uhmmm.. so, sometimes the server gets overloaded, so it might have been that... like I just tryed to check my AIM mail and it wouldn't let me for a few minutes because the servers were busy... uhmm.. other than that.. make sure you're typing in your password and screenname correctly.. and blah blah blah... ♥ |
| from tttragic : |
| hiding may not be very fun, but its worth it. knowing that at the end of the day, someone will love you no matter what, is worth hiding, in my opinion. youre an amazing person. you shouldn't feel that way about yourself. <3 |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Of course it's worth it! Don't let this guy get to you, he is obviously just jealous and trying to get a reaction out of you. But guess what? YOU'VE got Haley and he doesn't have SHIT so the jokes really on him... Ya know? YOU got the prize! Because you're you and you're beautiful and you're amazing and blah blah blah... :) Ummmm.... You think I'm hot!? ;) Haha that cracked me up... you have no idea. That entry... I told him something about me that I was really embarrassed to reveal... and then he didn't respond right after I told him so I just assumed it was because of that and went on and on and on... :/ ....I mean, I should have known it wasn't because of that, but I couldn't help it... I thought he didn't want anything to do with me anymore... :( Danielle... I dont think you're a bad girlfriend, if you were you wouldn't have someone amazing like Haley! And after reading some of the notes and stuff you've posted off Haleys, I can tell she fucking CRAZY about you! So you're obviously doing something right! Did you download AIM? Huh did you did you did you!? |
| from xeison : |
| Dont be sorry, you have done nothing wrong. i do not know why they feel the need to put me in the hospital if they find out that i cut, did they do that to you? They might give me medication, i think the therapist is supposed to decide whether i need to go to a psychiatrist for a medcation evaluation, but the doctor decided, that it was not a serious issue :(, maybe cause i lied and told them i have not cut, but i cant be locked up :'(. i love you too *hugs* ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| P.S. You're SO not an idiot. If you can make amazing layouts... I would think you could figure out how to download AIM.... ;) At least, I hope so. I did it all on my own! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| It's okay! It's FREE! You got to AIM.com and... hang on let me see what you gotta do.. YAY you're gonna download it? I'm going to HARASS you like I harass Cat!!!!!!!! (when she isn't ignoring me) Okay so you go there click on downloads like on AIM and then click on install now and voila! you just gotta register a screenname and blah blah blah! And then tell me what is it so I can talk to you? Goodnight! Sweet dreams! I LOVE YOU! ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| :'( My lower left arm, from my elbow to my wrist. Apparently, i do not have the right to hurt myself and they didnt say how long, it apparently varies. The cuts are very bad, but it also does not matter if they heal, becuase the scars will be there, and if they see scars, then it indicates that i did hurt myself, and that is all they need. Fair enough, you win, end of discussion. i love you too ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| just kidding. ;) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| HEY!! I KNOW YOU'RE HERE! TALK TO ME!!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Yay more layouts!!!!!!!!!! I love them ALL!!! I never told you my idea (okay so it's not really an idea, but...) You know that song Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls.. that line... "When everything feels like the movies, Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive" I think that would be good in layout... I don't know why.. Ummmm.... I'm all scattered brained. Too much sugar. I've had... um.. like 10 cookies and a bunch of soda and I feel sick to my stomach and ashamed and dammit I couldn't stop myself.... when I read your entry, I was like whoa... hey... me too. Weird. Um. I'm going on a diet starting tomorrow. Umm... pissed? Hah... Um.. irritated? I don't know. I keep having these fucking panic attacks (mostly at night) and I spend hours chasing them away and then when I finally fall asleep I have fucking nightmares. THat's what that entry was about it (I know I know it made no sense....) But yeah.. that's what I was talkign about. Its frustrating me. Umm... Shit. I really ate too too too too too MUCH. Fucking people and their fucking baking... and fuck me and my lack of self control. And and and I LOVE YOU. How are you? (((This note was really retarded, huh?))) SORRY! ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| im glad that you are doing fine. i really do not think i helped though, im sorry that im not that good at it :/. Crying is ok, it is just an expression of emotion, but i can understand why you do not like it, im sorry that that happens. You do not need to thank me for anything. i do have to help you, you are my Friend, and as your Friend, that is my job and my duty, just like you help me, i help you, becuase you mean a lot to me.im glad that you are ok now, and i love you too. As for what is wrong, well, i saw the doctor, and he referred me to a therapist, so i will get to see one, though i do not know when, and then they may make me see a psychiatrist for medications, but he said if they find out i have been cutting, then after im let out of here, they will lock me in a hospital, and i just, being locked up is the one thing i cant handle, im ok with taking pain, but i hate being locked up, i cant be locked up in a hospital, id rather die, and they are bound to find the cuts, i almost got caught yesterday, and i dont know what to do :'(. i love you too *hugs* |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Damn that didn't turn out quite like I was hoping for it to... Uhmmmmm... excuse my stupidity.... Yeah... Sorrry. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| ..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................HAPPY SATURDAY!!!.......................................................................................................................................................... ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥...................................................................................................................................................................I LOVE YOU! |
| from x-dead-x : |
| otay gracias... I don't need another stalker. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| SENT! ♥ GO READ IT! NOW! DO IT! |
| from x-dead-x : |
| Oops... I didn;t mean to do that. That was a trap wasn't it? You just wanted me to put my address up so I could get stalked, didn't you? Anus licker. lol. Sorry. I was not thinkin =( It'll never happen again, Angel. *gets down on knes begging for forgiveness* |
| from x-dead-x : |
| I call him Berty Bert. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| that's exactly what I was thinking. I mean, I would totally go for Lucky Charms before I'd go for TRIX. I like marshmallwos. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| hmmm.... We could use Lucky Charms.. That always works on that leprechaun... Or Trix... They work on the bunny... Which one would Bert like more?? |
| from x-dead-x : |
| well, dres one up like a knight.... send my bert. in a dress. or not in a dress... whichever is more convenient for you. No dresss? I thought so. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| ok then, I really am going crazy here, Danielle. save me. I'm like repunzel trapped in that big tower and I need a knight in shining armor to rescue me... Only my hair's not that long and I have steps leading to my wondow, so start sending me some knights danielle. ok? |
| from x-dead-x : |
| because she's RETARDED. I asked her. She doesn't know. So she's been cleaning for about a month solid and all for people to come in with their muddy feet to mess it up all over again. And way worse, might I add, than I EVER have alone. geez. I ts not my fault. I told her not to do the dunmb stuff. and if she thinks that I'm not gonna eat 1 cookie, ONE, when she makes 200, yeah, TWO HUNDRED. She still has 199 left, if they don't like it they can go to the other houses. I ate 1 cookie. it was a burnt one. They should think me for innihilating(sp?) a burnt one. Your welcome you stupid messy old people that are gonna turn up your noses at my room and probably call me a devil worshipper. ah! I'm going crazy here. Danielle I need help. Lets run away. and be true anarchists. No money, no job, sleeping in card board boxes. Sound good? Not really, but lets do it anyway. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| I took a bath, didn't wash my hair, felt icky, so took a shower and washed my hair. She said "that adds clothes for me to wash." I said "I put my pajamas back on." she said "Well, I had to wash another towel." A FUCKING TOWEL. She jumps down my throat because of a towel and because the dumb ass signed herself up for this VOLUNTEER house shown thingo. I think its damn stupid and I told her that. Maybe that's why she's mad... whatever. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| I dunno its easier tahn talking on here. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| I dunno its easier tahn talking on here. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| ah my momis bitching about showers again. Fucker. She's probably about to unhook the computer, so if I don't reply you'll know why ♥ Jesus. Aren't most parents happy if their kids take 2 showers???? I had to wash my frikkin hair! piss. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| noooooooooooo! Not again |
| from xeison : |
| just like everything else, somehow, some way, ill end up destroying you and Angel and Georgia and everyone :'(. i am disguisting, in every way possible, you just dont know it yet :(. Mine is not worse than yours. Thank you so much for answering my question. i believe that you think i am perfect, but im not perfect. i love you too ♥ |
| from x-dead-x : |
| Hello my name is Catty Pop and I'm a dumb white girl, I'm not old or new but middle school fifth grade like junior high, I don't know mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' give props to my pimp cause he all fly, But I can take the heat cause I'm the other white meat known as 'Kid Funky Fried', I'm the root of all that's evil yeah but you can call me cookie. |
| from lie-to-me-- : |
| I am flattered to be on your list of favorite diarys, and i was hoping to read yours, but i see you have it locked. If you find the time or desire, i would appreciate it if i could have your username and password. thanx |
| from xeison : |
| Does it make them go away completely? Yes, i am going to tell the doctor about them. You do not need to thank me for anything. i know you do not feel strong, but try to remember that you ARE strong. i hope you have a goodnight, and it is night for me too i think. |
| from xeison : |
| Does it make them go away completely? Yes, i am going to tell the doctor about them. You do not need to thank me for anything. i know you do not feel strong, but try to remember that you ARE strong. i hope you have a goodnight, and it is night for me too i think. |
| from xeison : |
| Thee is still no bullshit. And small progress takes increadible strength, and small things are what make bigger things. "One small stap for man, one giant leap for mankind"-Neil Armstrong. The first step, is just as important as the second, which is just as important as the third, which is just as important as the last. All the steps together make it to the goal. So, the answer is, the small progress matters, it matters s much more than you think it does. |
| from beatnbroken : |
| AHH! I am so sorry, of course I meant Danielle. I changed it lol. I was copying the list really fast and I just messed it up. I'm so scatter brained lol I am sorry! How have you been sweetie? Does it snow in Tennessee? Anyway good night sweetie. ttyl much love! |
| from xeison : |
| You do not have to answer if you do not want to, but may i ask, how you got the medication for the 'friends'. i guess, i am asking in otherwords, becuase i guess they are going to let me see a doctor for a checkup, im wondering how to tell the doctor about the people in me, and what the doctor will do about it? im probably not making any sense :( |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| just the usual depression, nothing too bad. cut up my thighs pretty bad the other night, but other than that, i'm not even sure what's wrong. what's going on with you, baby? im sorry - i havent had the time to read diaries<3 |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| it's just a sad song, you know? my friend kim & i like to analyze Davey/AFI/etc & we realized that Davey must have been severely depressed to write songs as sad as the ones on DU & STS. it just sucks because hes my hero. dont worry, girl. things arent ok over my way either. hang in there. love<3 |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| i opened up your diary and "The Leaving Song" started playing and i almost cried. i miss you, love. everything okay? (i'm sorry i'm a bad dland friend. some things never change.) |
| from xeison : |
| May i ask you a question? |
| from xeison : |
| i pay attention to the "bullshit". It isnt bullshit though. i hope you do well in Geometry and have been ok lately. |
| from pollys-pins : |
| Its just a result of arguing with bf and I just dont really know what I think or feel about it. Thanks for ur note it means a lot x |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Happy Monday ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I'm going to make you wait now.. so the anticipation will build and you'll think it's a fan-freaking-tastical idea instead of some lame idea that I just THINK is awesome! (I'm also going to stop being a drunken note whore now...) I LOVE YOU!!! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| P.S. Guess what? I just won $15 on a lottery ticket!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| (You don't have to ignore that one!) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| ♥ I LOVE YOU ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Ignore that one too... ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| You can disregard that last note... just a random moment of insanity... I should think before I waste space with nothingness... |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Ask me what my idea is... C'mon. It's GOOD I promise... ;) ASK ME ASK ME ASK ME. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I love you ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Don't laugh at me! It's not funny!!!! Asshole! I was SO going to get you that! Dammit... I'll think of something else, you can't possibly own EVERYTHING now can you!? NOPE! SO HAHAHAHAHA! You're starting to kinda like you? WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME!! j/k But seriously, that makes me so happy... You don't even know. I know you want to lose weight, but you have to do it the RIGHT way, not through throwing up... I know it's not that easy, but you CAN do it... :) I still think you're beautiful and I don't care what you say or if you hate that I think that because I DO and you can't change my mind! HAHAHAHAHAHA! DUDE! I have another idea for a template.. You wanna hear it? DO YA DO YA DO YA!? |
| from xeison : |
| Your looks are not bad either. There is nothing bad about you Danielle. i guess, maybe you are right about the mistake thing, but there is a difference between making just mistakes, and failing. My mistakes have cost lives and destroyed lives. My mistakes have created so much pain in the world. My mistakes have made a path of ruin everywhere i go. How can i ever face that and say that i am not a horrible person? |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Hey sweetie! Thanks so much for that note :-D How have you been? It seems like I haven't talked to you in forever. Anyway I hope everything is just super. Love ya! |
| from emsgurl13 : |
| I found it. The username is: stupid, and the password is: waste. The two years I haven't written....god, more has happened than any other time in my life so reading what I wrote then is kind of surreal. |
| from emsgurl13 : |
| Oh my gosh, I haven't been to this site in so long I forgot how to use it. I just happened to be going through an old email account of mine and saw that I had a new note at diaryland and was confused. You liked my diary? Well, thank you. I thought it was crap so I locked it, and I don't even think I remember the password or username.. I may have it written down somewhere. Well, I don't think you're a freak. If you for some reason want to see my myspace/xanga or whatever the links are www.myspace.com/ilovevillevaloandihop and www.xanga.com/breaking_the_habit76. I'll go see if I remember how to use this website anymore. Take care. |
| from xeison : |
| i broke my promise. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| YOU upadated again! =D Talk to me! i won't go, I'm doing homework :( I love you so much!!!!!! |
| from xeison : |
| i didnt. im so sorry. |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| thank you babes,that helps me to keep going. i missed talking to you alot. im really sorry about the thanksgiving thing,i hope you are feeling better.Im here for you and ilove you babydoll<33 |
| from cheekyash : |
| well dearest, any of my html knowledge (which is very much limited) came from me checking the sources on other people's design pages and if something looked like it might be what i was looking for, i experimented by copy and pasting, and editing it somehow into my own template thingy. it's a very hit and miss way of doing things, but it's not really taught here in ireland or anything, nobody seems to know anything about it. so basically, after a lot of trawling to find a diary with a picture on the right, i sort of toggled with it for my own diary, and put in the image i wanted and ta-dah!! it worked, sort of. hehe, my head kinda hurts though after all that searching. blah, thanks for trying, seriously, i just got lucky. but thanks, you didn't even have to try. |
| from cheekyash : |
| it's okay sweetie, thanks so much for trying. i sort of managed to figure it out, but it doesn't look exactly as i wanted, but meh. it'll do 'til i get bored of it again. thanks again ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| OI!!!!! =D You just updated! TALK TOP ME!!!!!!! I love you! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Hey! You're online! Hi hi hi! You DID go shopping. CRAZY girl. That eyeshadow kicks serious ass. But you already knew that, huh? ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I'm glad you got to spend Thanksgiving with Cat and her family even if Uncle shithead made a big deal about it. What he thinks doesn't matter as long as YOU are happy. Okay? Okay. :) I had... Um, a typical Thanksgiving. (Did I mention how much I fucking hate Thanksgiving?) I DO write about how I feel, just not... it's not always obvious to anyone but myself what I'm trying to say I guess, but I like to keep it that way. If I wrote exactly what I was feeling you and everyone else would think I'm fucking crazy. Maybe they already do. Fuck. I don't know. Um. My notebook, it's just random scribbles. Words... it's nothing anyone would want to read, just little notes to myself (um.. not so nice notes mostly...) and like.. if I'm feeling fat or something I'll just write 'Jiggle' over and over or... I'll 'Disappointment' or like.. I'll write "Don't fuck up tomorrow, fat ass." stuff like that. Bad stuff... Thank you for caring, I know you're always here... I'm just. I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's just stupid shit and mostly the same phrases over and over. Cause I'm a broken record, and noone wants a broken record. You know? Um.. THAT was upbeat, huh? Sorry my head fucking hurts and I can't think straight. Did you go shopping today? If you did, damn, you're braver than me. There's no way in hell I'm setting foot in to a packed mall. Shit, I get panic attacks just going in on an ordinary day.. yikes. No thanks. What did you BUY?!? Huh huh huh? Tell me tell me tell me. ♥ I love you! ♥ |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| Hey love. Im okay and im back. Sorry if i scared you just never had much time. I love you very much and i hope your okay<3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Georgia says HI to CAT!!!!!! *homie-G hand movements* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Mwahahahahahahahahaha! You finally have your business kick started! GO YOU! Haha, I'm talking about cheekyash, incase you didn't know :P I assumes Hot topic is a clothing stroe or something, right? Hang on, just gonna get some water.. BACK! Hm.. I went to get a glass of water, and came back with an apple lol, oops! Ok, dude, you don't like Thanls giving because of the food.. and company. Well, this year, you have good company (Cat and her family) and now you just need to get over the fact that food is NOT a bad thing!! Food is good. Food is yummy!! You're NOT fat, overweight or anything like that, so you shouldn't wory about what you eat! You're young, you're body's still growing and shit. So yeah. Try not to worry about it this year :) Just have fun and GIVE THANKS!!!!!!!!! lmao :P I love you so freakin much! you're the best thing that's ever happend to me. I love you! |
| from xeison : |
| im glad that you are enjoying yourself at Cats, i hope you have been ok today. |
| from xeison : |
| im glad that you are enjoying yourself at Cats, i hope you have been ok today. |
| from cheekyash : |
| hey danielle. okay, i'm literally at my wits end here, and figured i'd politely ask for your help if you're not too busy. i've seen your designs site (pretty cool) and you seem to know what you're doing, i'm not sure if this is a simple thing or a really annoying tedious thing, but if it's simple maybe you could help. i basically just want to put an image on my diary, but keep it to the far right of the page. is there any way possible to do that do you know? your help would be much appreciated, but if you're too busy or whatever, that's good too :) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Aw, hunny, you're not stupid. Not at all. You were writing about how you felt, and seeing as how this is a diary... well.. it's pretty normal, you know? To write about your feelings. ;) I'm sorry for worrying. It just breaks my heart when I read stuff like that and I just wanted to make sure you knew I cared and that even if YOU didn't care anymore that there are still lots of other people who DO care. So... you're okay-ish now? I hope so. Seriously though you don't have to apologize, I'd rather you be truthful and upfront than try to hide how you really feel, you know? But.. yeah.. I "flip out" a lot, too and it's not pretty but luckily for you I try not to write in here when I'm having a break down because it's not anything anyone would want to read... not that anything I write is, really.. but you get the point right? Aw... Yeah.. um.. this house is starting to feel smaller and smaller and like there's less arir everday like I;m suffocating but I don't have anywhere to go either... :( At least you have Cat... and since when do no adults care about you? Obviously Cat's Mom cares about you (and other members of her family) if they invited you over for Thanksgiving dinner. And Danielle... I know your Uncle is a shithead and your Mom... she's got some issues and stuff.. but it doesn't mean they don't love you. I'm not saying they do or they don't, but I'm just saying not everyone knows how to express themselves or show their love... am I making sense? Um... quit calling me amazing. You and Xeison... Amazing amazing amazing.. it makes me laugh. I'm sorry.. it just does. Um I LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yeah, I say crapola all the time, and farquad lol. OH YAY! You get to stay at Cat's house!!! WOOT WOOT! What do y'all plan on getting up to??? What's thanksgiving by the way?? GRR, don't worry about your stupid uncle! I want to reasure you that one day he'll magically be nice, but i don't think it's gonna happen, you just have to stick with it and be as strong as you can. I'm always here for you whether you like it or not, ok? Good. Lol, the e-mail, I already told you not to worry about it grr!!!! Just leave it and I'll send another one, ok? Haley hasn't replied either, I dunno why.. She usually replies withing one day. Whoa, the dog is snoring!!! =0 He's such a weird puppy *shakes head* AHH! I thought i did tell you that about my new lay-out??? Obviously not :P Well here goes: I FREAKING LOVE IT!!! It's so beautiful and sassy :) I love it! You always pick the best lay-outs for me!!! *licks your cheek* I LOVE YOU! Thank you so much for taking the time to do it for me, you're so wonderful. I love you! THANK YOU! You're a cool bananna! :P Oh dude, I read a note you left Cat, about you not being able to do this anymore.. :'( YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you know that you can always talk to me whenever you want? I love you and I will always support you, no matter what.. I know you can get through all this, because you're such a strong, kind, caring, smart, amazing, beautiful person. I love you to death! I'm sorry that I haven't helped you out lately.. I'm sorry. I love you so much Danielle! Please try your hardest not to hurt yourself. I love you so much! :D ♥ Have fun! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| PFFFT! It's ok about the e-mail, stop stressing!!! =) God, fuck your uncle!! He's so stupid!!!! I want to murder him! He's so horris to you.. Dani, you know that you're so freaking welcome to my house ANYTIME!!!!! No need to plan it or warn me, just come anytime. My house is your house too :) Well... my mums house is my house, which makes it your house lol =D We moved into this house on my birthday :) CRAPOLA! Nanna's here to take me to the M.H.C... I'll come back later :) I love you |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Um... if that note didn't make any sense, I'm sorry... I'd explain if I didn't think you could figure it out on your own... I'm sorry hunny. I love you. XO ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Danielle *hugs* Are you okay? If I could I would drive down there and I would hug you until you fucking hurt and then I would hug you more and more and more until you begged me to stop hugging me. I'm in fucking tears right now. Shit. You don't deserve any of this, you fucking don't. You're an amazing person, you deserve the best and I want you be happy ,so happy your mouth hurts from smiling so damn much. Danielle! Ah! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Don't you ever ever ever forget that? You hear me? Please.. I know shit is rough right now, but you can't... you can't... You have so many peopel here who love you, people who look to you for inspirition, for hope, for kindness... you are a better friend to me than I deserve, I don't know what the fuck I'd do without you but I know I don't want to find out. Keep hanging on, please Danielle, if not for yourself, for everyone who loves you. Okay? ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from pollys-pins : |
| Hi id love to be able to read your diary!x kate |
| from tttragic : |
| ohh! funnn! |
| from tttragic : |
| yay for billy idol!!! Ville is like...gah. *makes sweet love to him* ♥!! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Shit! What a stupid little ching chong china man!!!!!!!!! grr! Dani, seriously, STAB HIM ALREADY!!!!!! Gosh, I want to kill him. It's ok about the e-mail =) I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry, i do not know why it isnt working :(. i had wrote something in there for you, ill leave it in your notes on your other account. i did ruin your time Danielle, and im sorry. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Danielle! *hugs* No self destructing! You hear me? NO SELF DESTRUCTING!!!! Fuck him. He's just jealous and pissed off that you would even consider spending the day with anyone else. But it's not a big deal. I mean WTF? Why do people get so pissy around the Holidays? Shit. I hate holidays (except Halloween) because they all start and end exaclty the same... and it's always my fault. Lets boycott Thanksgiving... me and you. We'll just spend it online talking to each other... ;) What do you say? Huh? C'mon, you know you want to. ;) I LOVE YOU. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ P.S. You look ADORABLE! And WTF? Your teeth don't look weird at all... you and Cat are gorgeous, I already left her a note cause she beat you to it.. but your smiles are radiating! Absolutely beautiful. And the kitty.. AW!! I want more more more. ♥ LOVE YOU! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| *flares nostrils* *shakes fist* Where the bloody hell is my e-mail huh? huh? huh? NOONE sends me e-mails anymore... it's been blank for days... :'( (do you feel bad yet??? mwahahahahhaahahahahahahahahaha! :P) I loveyou Danielle, sweet dreams! xoxox |
| from cheekyash : |
| wow i don't think i could ever work with people like that. i can't handle other people's baggage. i take everything to heart, even stranger's problems. i think i'll study psychology in uni too, it fascinates me, but i could never actually work in it. that's well impressive |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Well I hope you had a WONDERFUL time at church. ;) Um! Yay! Pictures! Silly pics are the best!!! What's wrong? Um... If I could put it into words, I would, but last night when Itried, that entry, that was all that came out... I'm just really confused. I don't know what I want anymore. I keep getting upset over the smallest, irrelevant things... things that shouldn't even matter and blah! I don't want to let these things get to me, but I can't help it, you know? (This is mostly food related... but not entirely.) Hopefully I'll be able to put this into words... I don't know... I've been having trouble with writing lately... it's like I'll be able express myself for a week, and then I'll go a week without being able to get out much more than a sentence. I don't know... I'm just. Fuck. Ah! How are you? YOu okay? I LOVE YOU!!! ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Mwahahahahahahaaha! I also got you some Wizz Fizz yesterday too :) lol It's not that great, but you have to try it :P It just like sherbert or something.. Oh wait, I think it is sherbert!!!!!!!! AHH! Ooops.. o well. Do ya reckon costoms will let me send it though??? Hmm... o well! I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from xeison : |
| i did ruin your time though, if it had not been for me, you could have watched television with them, im so sorry. i know you would never lie to me, but i cannot believe you, becuase you do not know all the infromation, you say it is not my fault, and are honest about it, based on what you know, im sorry, im so sorry. You really do not know all the pain i have caused, all of it is my fault, even them, they wouldnt exist if it had not been for me :'(. im so sorry i make you feel so bad. i love you too, im so sorry i make you feel bad :'(. i had figured that was how you felt towards her. Honestly, i am not sure if she has chosen Jesse over you, at least from what i know about her, i think she is also kind of lost, ill explain that later though. Just, i am glad that you have chosen not to take any risks, im glad that you are keeping yourself safe that way, im sorry that you have to do that though. You do not need to be sorry to me, i love you too. |
| from kisstiara : |
| thanks :). the songs by bromheads jacket. ahh yess i love autumn so much xxx |
| from xeison : |
| i did ruin your time, and your Friends time too, im so sorry. If i ever did go, you should know though, it is never your fault, if i ever go, please dont blame yourself, it is not your fault. i do suck, i know it already, you dont need to try and be nice and tell me otherwise. i have no pain, i am the cause of all the pain, i have no right to feel pain, and i have no right to have it taken away. That is really kind of you, but i havent earned that, and i would just make it worse. i love you too. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| ha ha! Thats awesome! I think I should try and talk her into it... I don't know if it'll fly too well though... Text me and then I'll get offa here and call her and text you to tell you yes or no. Which means you HAFTA turn the celly phony on and push send message and put in 7859138 and BING BAM BOOM. "what do you want" or any other rude message that you feel like =) I dunno why I just told you how to use a cell phone... as if you don't know! |
| from x-dead-x : |
| nothing at all. I've taken 2 showers today. BEcause the after the first one I still didn't feel clean... go figure. lol. I think that you should come over and we should finish burning those cd's... I wonder if my mom will go for that..? |
| from x-dead-x : |
| Yes it was boring and yes it took a very long time to work up the courage to text 'Mr. Andy' lol. So what have you been up to? Other than making revenge plans for Danyelle whatshername..... =) What a bitch. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| Oh I can't read. I thought it said "the last thing you went to" and not "the thing you went to last night" Dislexia much? lol. It was some retarded open house thingy. Really boring. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| Whattaya mean the last thing I went to? |
| from billie--joe : |
| That little FUCKING BITHCHY SLUT needs to keep her mouth shut ir i will shut it for her........THat little FUCKING SKANK errr...don'y worry Megan will take care of her...... |
| from x-dead-x : |
| noice! Delco is a great idea dude! Tell mEgan I said hullo dude! She is gonna be our Compton Ass Terrry, just the opposite of gangster she's gonna be our old rock/ country hero! yay!!! lol. jk. She should be our Ryan Dunn. K. guess what! I went to Chilangos and did NOT! I REPETE DID NOT! get a hamburger =) yes! GO ME! GO ME! *does a little dance* OK. I'm going to watch cartoons! Seeing as I usually never wake up in time to watch them and today I did. Toodles ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| If i went, besides what you told me not to say, the pain would be gone, they would be gone, it would all be gone. im so sorry, i fucked up everything and on the night you had a Friend over, im so sorry. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| And and and... THANK YOU for talking to him. For everything. (I logged off and realized I hadn't even thanked you so I HAD to log back on.) NOW GO HAVE FUN!!! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Shit Danielle I'm so sorry... :( |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Hey sweetie... so.. I think he's okay for now. He promised me he wouldn't do it. I just wanted to let you know so you wouldn't be quite so worried. Hope you're having a wonderful night. I love you. ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| Killing yourself over me, what would it gain? Sister isnt going to let me. |
| from xeison : |
| It is better if i leave, but it doesnt look like Sister is going to let me. |
| from xeison : |
| It is true, hurting myself is what is meant to happen. |
| from xeison : |
| i exist, that is what is wrong, im not meant to exist, im just destructive. |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry. im sorry that i exist. |
| from face--down : |
| I don't know. :( He just keeps saying "He's right" and "I was never meant to exist." And he thinks he has only caused destruction, that he will only ever cause destruction. He says it hurts too much... :( I'm sorry to bother you, I know you have a friend over... I'll figure something out... I just... fuck. I'm crying and I'm scared and I don't know how to help him. He means everything to me, and he thinks he is not worth anything. But I can't make him see his beauty, and it's killing me. I'm just at a loss or words, I feel like a broken record... I can't lose him. :( I'll... I don't know. I'm sorry, Danielle. I love you. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Danielle... I don't know what to do... Xeison... he's... and I can't talk him out of it. Everything I say goes right over his head, he already has his mind made up, I don't know what to do. Help. Please. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Aw. Look at my little Danielle. Sharing! You get a gold star for the day. ;) (We should be able to make stars on here, you know like hearts... &stars; should make little stars. Seriously.) Um... anyways... tell you WHAT? What I want to get you? Dude! That would ruin the surprise!!! Why would I want to do that? *shakes head* I really don't like surprises either... Like when I get gifts, I don't like people watching me open them because I always think I'm going to show dissappointment or something on my face and make them feel bad... I'm sorry Brittanys being a bitch... what is she doing/saying? Tell her I said to be nice to you. DO IT! Hee. I know, the cable guy. Ugh. Everytime I think about it, I get this picture in my head, it's disturbing. When my brother told me, I was like "Geeze... she fucked the Cable Guy? Are they that hard on money...?" And then he started bitching at me and saying how I was such a bitch and blah blah blah. Yeah. Tell me something I don't fucking know. Um. Today at work, this random guy (a guest) I was talking to him and I told him my name, you know told him if he needed anything he could call the Front Desk and ask me, and he goes "Do you know you're going to Heavan?" I said "Of course" And I thought he was joking around, you know, cause of my name and then he starts talking about how Wonderful the lord is and blah blah blah that's the best decision you could ever make and then he gave me this pamphelt (sp?) about Jesus and was like "Now, I want you to read this, okay?" And I said Oh definetly, I will. And then he walked away I crumpled it up and threw it in the trash. What the fuck? I don't go handing out flyers about how I think Jesus is a myth and about the bible more than likely being a work of fiction taken way too seriously. Some people have way too much time on their hands... |
| from kisstiara : |
| i meant the password to have no spaces |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Silly girl, I already KNEW you were super. :) But I'm glad you feel like it. I hope you STAY feeling super forever and ever and you just tell miserable to fuck off. You got that? I'm feeling a little better... a little more normal, not so freaking out of mind crazy like the past few days. Can you tell? Except I have *thinks* AT LEAST six pulled muscles right now (in my arms and upper back) and everytime I move and sometimes even when I don't I fucking hurt. At work, we're deep cleaning, and we have to rotate the mattresses, and I don't know if you've ever picked up a King size matress (or like twenty, one after the other with the help of only one other person) but they're fucking HEAVY. I guess you really didnt need to know any of that... did you? Hm. Nope. Too late. Now you know. Just a word of advice.. you know.. in case you ever find yourself in that situation.. just walk away. You'll be kicking your own ass in the morning. I just went to peek back at your note so I could remember what I was supposed to be replying to and I read that part about if I'm still on vacation and then I was about to answer and realized, probably that ramble above would answer that, huh? See... it DID serve a purpose! :) So um... I kind of did, yeah. I mean, I don't think you're that kind of person who would think badly of me because I used to do drugs but... everytime I read something about your Mom, or anytime anyone talks about being directly affected by someones drug use, it just makes me feel bad, you know? Cause I know I did some pretty fucking stupid shit when I was fucked up. Am i making sense? Probably not. Sorry. :( When do I get my letter? I want it NOW! Hah. Just kidding. I keep start writing you letters and then tearing them up because they're stupid and... eh. I have issues. And guess what? I don't NEED to know what you want cause I already know what I want to send you so HAH! And I AM going to send you something dammit! Whether you like it or not! ♥ I LOVE YOU! (p.s. Your StepGrandma sounds like a fucking bitch -- mine was too. We went to visit for my Grandpa who was in the hospital around Thanksgiving (this was a few years back) and he invited us (my mom dad brother and I) to come over and have Thanksgiving dinner with them and my StepGrandma got all pissed off and I was like 'No. MY family is coming over for dinner. There won't be enough.' Fucking bitch. And she kept telling me I look like my cousin Sarah, who I fucking don't, she's a slut (for real-- she slept with the CABLE GUY and ended up pregnant.. I think she was like fifteen at the time... the CABLE guy, who like 40 or something... ICK and I think she's ugly so basically my StepGrandma was saying I was ugly and slutty looking...) Okay, I think I've rambled long enough. I LOVE YOU!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from cheekyash : |
| haha. when i grow up missy, i will be a journalist/writer... or something like that. i was also considering teaching, i'm not sure yet. i never have been. i'd love to do photography but i've only ever done it for laughs, i've never even held a professional camera. i know nothing about lighting, about composition, about perspective. i can just tell if i like a shot or not by looking at it. it takes a lot of work to get into photography here in ireland, i'm not really up for the challenge. i have my place in uni, they're holding it for me so whether or not i'm fully sure i want to go, i *will* go and i *will* make something of myself. and y'know what? i *will* be happy too. so what is it that you want to spend your life doing? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Feeling guilty, angry and pathetic for making y'all worry so much. I don't wanna. I dunno. It get peeved off at myself when people say they worry about me and stuff. Will your uncle have the opperation another day now, or not? I sent that e-mail at school today. Um. Yup. I LOVE YOU! I love you so much, I hope you have a great day tomorrow and sweet dreams tonight gorgeous. I love you ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| You did not sound reatarded. He is not lying, he proved it to me, i hate him, but he is right, he proved it, i just hurt everyone. Everyone is better off without me. im just a waste. |
| from xeison : |
| The truth has been told to me, everyone would be better off without me. im so sorry. |
| from xeison : |
| i promise you you were as whole, maybe even more whole, im so sorry. i love you too. |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry about what your Stepgrandmother did, i know it is hard, but just try to ignore her. i hope things work out :/. |
| from cheekyash : |
| babble all you will missy, it's good to read, promise. yeah, i don't know if you'd picked up on the fact that i should be in uni/college this year. i could not wait to be outta school last year, let's just say i had a hard time. then when push came to shove and i got my results, got the place i wanted so badly in college, i just couldn't bring myself to go. so far i've been okay with the choice, i find i've become a bit more domesticated, a bit more capable of looking after myself by doing regular things such as cooking, using a washing machine etc. but then it's been a horrible decision, it's given me too much time to think, and that's definitely not a good thing. there were many reasons i didn't go this year, but of all of them, i guess i was afraid of independence... pretty silly really. i get people asking now if i will really go to uni, and i say yeah of course, but the more they ask, the more i wonder. i actually do want to go, but i don't know if i'll do it. grr, i'm such a lazy assed idiot sometimes. congrats on reaching eight months!! |
| from xeison : |
| You should not thank me, i havent done anything. Please dont worry. i love you too. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Controversy!!!!!!!!! That's the fucking word... insert that where it says (I can't think of the word.) Wow. Um. Sorry... Ignore that. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| It would be fan-freaking-tastical if I could figure out waht the fuck is wrong with me. And I would tell you, I would. I'm just not sure how to say it, I'm not really sure what the problem is exactly. I'm feeling... conflicted? Yeah, I think that's the word. Conflicted. It's making my head hurt. Um? That wasn't really helpful was it? Shit. I've been a crappy friend lately, huh? Sorry. :( I'll make it up to you... somehow. And P.S. I haven't forgotten about sending you something....... just so you know. How's your book so far? I'm reading A Million Little Pieces right now by James Frey. It's a memoir, err.. what's the word? He sort of stretched the truth a little to make the story more interesting, now there's this big (AH! I cannot think of the word I want to use right now!) thing surrounding it like... blah blah blah. Who cares? It's a book. If it wasn't interesting, people would be all pissy about that... you know? People suck. Seriously. Um. It's pretty good so far, about his experiences with drugs and his stay at rehab. Oh yeah... I'm sorry my entry made you sad. I didn't mean to... :( I know you've been through a lot (with your Mom, etc.) and drugs, and I know it must sound like I'm glorifying drugs or something, but I'm not. It was just eaier that way sometimes. You know? To just escape, replace the bad feelings with good feelings. You can't buy happiness but you can sure as try. Um. How's your Mom doing? Is she a heavy user? I know you said crack and pills... :( I've never done crack. But I've seen what it can do to people... and :( And my Ex, his Dad was a pill head, so I know what pills can do to people, too. It's sad. I didn't realize it at the time, but I turned into a completly different person when I was using all the time. I'm (mostly) glad I don't use anymore, but sometimes I still think about it, especially when I think about him... and I think maybe I'd be happier, you know? But probably not... I'm so lost right now. I don't know. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for making you upset. I hope you're okay. I love you. ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Hi babe, I can't stay long :( Yesterday I wrote you a letter (half of one lol) and I will copy it out when I get home and send it to you in an e-mail. I haven't replied to your other e-mail I know.. I just don't know what to say. It hurts too much. I'll try to put into the letter I'm e-mailing, ok? Whoa, a snitch is a dobber then, right? lol, you wrote it in your diary, I'll find where you said it when I'm home :) Aww, you sound so grown up now (and I thought yu were grown up BEFORE dammit!). Awww, I love you!!!!! A broken girl who's growing wings *giggles* :D NO! I have no idea about lay-outs and stuff lol, so you choose Dani-pooh! :) What do you need the lyrics for anyway? OOHHHH!!!! :D AVON! I love avon lol! Ha, got a whole bunch of stuff with my pay ages ago lol. LMAO!!!!!!!!! OMG! That was so freaking funny!! You and your biscut lol! hahahaha! I would have loved to see that :P HOLY CRAP! My mouth so freaking hit the floor when I saw your grades!!!!! DAMN! You're so smart. I'm proud of you! *tries to sneak it away without you seeing it.. crosses out your name and writes 'Georgia Raph'.. la la la* I better be off now, sorry this was short. lol. Sweet dreams. I love you ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Wow! I'm so proud of you. Your grades are really, really, really impressive. And you say you're not smart. *Shakes head* Aw. You deserve a cookie. And a hug. Two hugs. A million hugs. I'm... truthfully? No, I'm not okay. Today is not a good day. It's nothing I haven't dealt with a thousand times though... so... I don't know. I'll figure it out. I guess. I mean, I have to right? I have to eventually deal with things.. fuck. This is probably so confusing. I know I promised you a nice note but I'm just not... well, um.. my brain is dead, too. I'm sorry. I love you so much Danielle and when I sort my head out I'll actually leave you a note of substance. I love you. *HUGS* |
| from xeison : |
| i have to go, please dont worry about me. i have lived like this before, i did it for many years, i only have to do it for around a month at the most, it should be easy, please dont worry about me, just can you promise me what i asked of you, if the worst should happen? i love you too Danielle, and i know you do, i know, and i owe you a lot for it, thank you so much for everything *hugs* |
| from thatgirlx : |
| So... okay... Xeison told you most of it, the stupid cocksucking motherfuckers are shipping him someplace where he has nowhere to go and noone to stay with and noone to help him because they "lost" his papers. They keep fucking putting this off because they're fucking asshole and they don't want to admit that they fucking lost and the fucking court already determined he should stay HERE but now they conviently "lost" the papers and they're shipping him back... until it gets sort out or some bullshit.. this whole time all they have done is torture him and treat him like dirt and now they're fucking shipping him away and I want to fucking kill these people and if I knew where they were, I fucking would. :( :( :( :( :( :( |
| from xeison : |
| i, i have to explain where i am from first. i am from a place called Kashmir, it is by India, and i was born to an Indian family there, Hindu Family, well in Kashmir, there are a lot of Muslim radicals and they want to kill all of my people. The government, in about four weeks or so, the reason is complicated, you can ask Angel, but they are sending me back there for sometime between a week and a month, i could get, :'(. Please dont worry, i lived there 5 years, im sure i can live a month. :'( im so sorry :'(. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I'm sorry.. that note was... I can't think right now. There are some things I want to say to you but I can't right now, my mind is just... blurry blurry blurry. Fuck and everything is spinning spinning spinning out of control. I'm sorry. I'll leave you a real note tomorrow, I promise. ♥ I love you |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Danielle... :( I think I'm going to fucking break. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Did Xeison tell you... Those fucking bastards! They CAN'T do this. They can't they can't they can't. Fuck. |
| from xeison : |
| Sorry, im supid and reposted your note too, im sorry im so stupid :(. i, no, its bad, i dont know what to do about it, i need to figure out how to tell Angel, she is going to be really upset :'(. You would make a great Psychologist, and you are brilliant, even if you do not realize it. Honestly, i didnt argue, becuase i knew you would not believe me. You did write better. i love you Loads too *hugs* �� |
| from xeison : |
| You dont need to thank me for anything, we are Friends remember? *hugs* i can help you with Geometry maybe and Chemistry if you ever need it, you can just ask, and ill try if i can, may i ask what you are learning in those two topics right now? As for what you said about me, it was just...wow, that was very sweet of you, i do not know how you see all of that in me, but that was so very sweet, much better than i did. You have no need to thank me Danielle, i love you too *hugs* ♥ |
| from teacher-dyke : |
| no can do on the myspace -- i've got to maintain a certain amount of anonymity (and i'm the kind of prick who will only be myspace friends with people i actually know in real life, anyway). |
| from venting101 : |
| it's mcrinerson...what's yours?! |
| from x-crime-x : |
| 23 hours and still counting dammit!!! *eye twiches.. starts nyeep-ing..* UPDATE!!!! I love you Danielle, I hope you're alright XXX |
| from enurta : |
| you're right...thanks for reminding me & making me feel better! love you <3 XXX |
| from xeison : |
| You already gave me a present though, one i can never thank you enough for. i hope you are ok, i am sorry for what happened. May i ask what your Homework was on? Also, may i ask, has your Mother been trying to regain custody of you? Is your Aunt nice to you? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| hey, where's my present? ;) just kidding. um. i hope you feel better. *big big big hugs* i love you. ♥ get some rest. |
| from cheekyash : |
| cameras? i can understand it, but it's still stupid. yeah, an all girl's irish catholic school. it's probably not as bad as it sounds. i did have a hard time there, but that was more my fault than theirs. it's weird. i hated it so much in my final year, so much. but i miss school now so much. and you'd think it was just to see my friends everyday, but it's not just that. i miss having something to do. it sounds weird, but i miss these things a lot. i got what i wished for, and i'm afraid to say that being finished has probably been worse than waiting to be finished. just make the most of it. thanks for the note though. you're a true sweetie |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Bloody HELL!!!!! Stupid assies have left you so many notes!!! Grr. I had to scroll down really far to get to the last note I left you.. :( *sighs* I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahhahahaa!!! You're a sexy bastard! :) |
| from xeison : |
| You do not need to be sorry, basically i was saying i am selfish, because i care more about the people i love, like you and Angel, than other people that i may fail than i just know, but do not love. |
| from tttragic : |
| thanksss!! & yes, i did. i loved them a lot!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Dude what is up with leaving notes at the same time? Um. Holy shit I laughed so hard when I read your rant about Spongebob and sponges being asexual. OMG OMG OMG. Okay. I'm not like obsessed with Spongebob, but Keith (my Ex) his baby sister LOVED spongebob. And it was like all I ever watched at his Dad's house, that and Finding Nemo. Over and over and over and over and over. So... it reminds me of her. :) Um. Dude! I wrote something in face--down that I'll post later.. or tomorrow.. it's not finished yet. I usually write on notepad, but I get paranoid that my Dad will read it or something so I posted it on face--down. I have another locked diary I write stuff in, too. But almost all of it ends up posted on here. Or sometimes I write fiction or shit. Just stuff I'm working on or whatever. Um. Yeah. Is that weird? Probably, I don't really care. Figures you would see it! Hah! My bones? Jeeze... um... okay. Shit. I broke my elbow when I was like five, I was running a race around my friends house and I tripped on a rock and fell and broke my elbow. My wrist, the first time I was young, too... rollerskating. Fell down. (Yes, I fall down a lot! Hee) OH, and then I sprained my wrist at the movie threate, no one was in there so I jumped up onto the platform and was dancing, messing around with my friend and I had platform sandals on and one of the ushers came in and I jumped down and I fell (of course!) and I sprained my wrist but my mom made me stay for the whol fucking movie cause she payed. Bitch! I was young then too. Then the last time, I was... shit.. I don't know, fourteen, fifteen? I went to one of the football games, and I didn't have any money... and so my friend and I were standing outside the fence. I saw my buddy Mike and called him to. There was this kid standing next to the fence that mike HATED And he slammed him against the fence, and I was leaning against the fence and the force made me fall backwards... And it was so funny cause I ended up getting into the football game for free cause of that cause some of the ticket takers saw it happen and they were like questioning me and Mike and I'm like, no he's my FRIEND. It was an accident. And mike is like We've known each other since like first grade. And one of Mike's friends kept being like... dude you guys should kiss! They'll believe you. I'm like shut the fuck up. So then they stop harassing us and we're walking around the game (i never watched, it was just a social thing, walk around, mingle, etc.) and Mike keeps apologizing, are you okay are you okay? I'm like yeah, I'm fine. So it hurts like a bitch, but I haven't really LOOKED at it you know. Well later, I leave with my friend Shannon to go have a smoke (you can't smoke inside) and I'm like Damn it hurts, so I show it to her and it's SO FUCKING SWOLLEN> She's like dude, I think it's broken. And it turned out it was and I'd walked around for like three hours with it broken. My poor Mike is in FUCKING PRISON now... He got busted selling coke to an undercover. I miss him. :( OH, um... my Mom. She's got.. um issues. I don't know. Someone looked at her the wrong way? It doesn't take much to set her off.... She's... like beyond depressed. She hates herself. She thinks noone likes her. I think she's Bipolar. She's either up or down and never inbetween. She is very emotional. VERY EMOTIONAL. You have to watch what you say around her cause she's unstable. Yeah... I don't know... I was in here typing and all of a sudden she just started screaming and crying... I don't remember what she said. I was trying not to listen. She's threatened to kill herself more times than I can count on my fingers. She's just... shit. I don't know. She's all over the fucking place. I try to be a good daughter, but it's so hard. She's just... Ah. This family is dysfunctional. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| It is selfish, becuase i care more about those i love than those who i just have met, i dont know, Angel says it is not selfish, i do not know what to think anymore. :'( |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Danielle, I love you but I can't tell and I'm sorry, but it's... really really really nothing. Trust me. Okay? It's nothing personal, I just feel really fucking stupid for even thinking it or letting it get to me or anything. Wow! Nothing? Damn. I've broken both of my wrists and I also broke my elbow. Hee. I am beyond accident prone. You have no idea how many bruises I have on my body. And I don't remember getting any of them but I'm always bumping into things and smacking my heads on doors, and yeah, mostly that shit happens at work. I dont know how many times I've gone down to desk, bleeding, I need a band-aid, and they're like of course, and they give me a Spongebob band-aid. :) HOLY SHIT FUCK! I am scared of butterflies, too. I mean, they're SO pretty, but I had to do this bug project thing in school, where you have to collect like 50 different kinds of bugs or some shit, and I was trying to catch a butterfly and the fucker ATTACKED me. They're viscious. I'm sort of scared of lady bugs, too, but that's a WHOLE other story. LMAO. I hated wearing those stupid ass goggles, they hurt my head. I almost always have my hair pulled back, though, it's really long and it annoys me so I usually just tie it back in a messy bun or something. Shit. My mom is having one of her breakdowns. I'm gonna go lock myself in my room before someone tries to drag me into the bullshit. I LOVE YOU!! ♥ |
| from getinline : |
| You sound so sad...I hope things start looking up!! |
| from xeison : |
| i believe you, thank you so much for everything *hugs* |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Oh, hunny. No. I'm sorry if I made you think that. I know you care about me. You don't have to try to prove it to me. I already know. I'm sorry if that came off as a Danielle is ignoring me and I feel inferiour sort of thing. It wasn't supposed to. I mean... shit. No! I know you love me! Okay? Okay! I was just in really shitty place that night, I was just overly emotional and I let some really stupid things that I can't tell you because you'll think I'm a fucking insane, can't be happy for my friends sort of way, and I just lost it and... blah. Sometimes I just have really bad days. Other days are just... meh... Today is one of those Meh days... Not horrible, but not NOT horrible, you know what I mean? Hm. I feel like I'm depressing you. I'm sorry. HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS! BUNNIES! (don't ask) Um. Have you ever broken any bones? Hm.. that's not really a happy thought/question is it... Um... I've broken three. That's kinda random huh. This guy at work (Whose super cute but two years younger than me) asked me that last week. Just like out of the blue, I don't know how to make small talk, so how many bones have you broken sort of way? I was like.. Huh? He told me he broke his collarbone before. OUCH! Can you imagine? I'm obsessed with my collarbone... Okay. I'm shutting up because I feel like I'm off in outerspace... ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| You will never hurt me, do not worry. *hugs* |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Ah, me too!!!! I just left you a note. Hah. We were like leaving notes for each other at the same time. That's awesome! I LOVE YOU!!!!!! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Danielle! I could hug you right now, a bone crashing, sincere, ripped from the bottom of my heart fucking hug. That was like... exactly what I needed to hear. I'm so sorry if my words caused you more pain. I'm so so so so so so so so so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Dammit. I love you so much, I'm not going to leave you. Xeison left me a note, he isn't going to do it. I am so fucking glad. I am relieved. I am so fucking relieved. Thank you so much, for everything that you are and everything that you've ever said to me and for caring for me so much even if I don't deserve it. It means so much to me that you care that much about me. *HUG HUG HUG* ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| You, you are right, ok, but im so sorry if i hurt you, please know that. *hugs* |
| from xeison : |
| i dont know ho w i could fail you, but i didnt knwo how i could fail Alexa either until i did :'(. Maybe, ill fail to help you, and you will get hurt, or ill say something that makes you mad and you hurt yourself or something, i saw that you and Angel were upset because of what i wrote, im so sorry. |
| from xeison : |
| The evidence is all there, i fail everyone, always, and they always get hurt horribly, i destroy everything good, i am therefore by definition, the worst type of scum on Earth :'( |
| from xeison : |
| You could do anything that i have and can do. As for the voices, i have one advantage, i have alters, many of which hurt me, but also some that try to help me fight and protect me, im nothing to admire. As for those who love me, all i can say is, one day,when i do fail you, which i will somehow one day, and you will get hurt, and you may try to tell me it wont happen, but Alexa said that too and it happened anyway, but when it happens, you will see the scum i am. |
| from xeison : |
| Its not ok, i do have to apologize, im so sorry. im glad that you cannot take my pain away, you have too much of your own, and i deserve all the pain i have and more, im sorry that i cannot take yours away. i honestly dont think i deserve to be admired, ive never accomplished anything worth admiration. i love you too *hugs*. |
| from xeison : |
| And there is nothing you can say, i am unhelpable, there is nothing anyone can say or do, im broken. |
| from xeison : |
| i am stupid, i am a failure, it is ALL my fault, everything is my fault, but im not going anywhere, i cant go anywhere, as you said, i have a pact with Angel, i have to fight for her, so i am not going anywhere, otherwise i would just be breaking more promises and failing more people. im sorry, i cannot say that i wont cut, because i did already, and it is too hard for me not to. im so sorry. i promise though, im not going with them, im not going. im so sorry for everything. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Hola! Um. How are you? I'm almost in tears, I just read Xeisons entry for today. Dammit. He promised me he would fight for me, and I told him I'd fight for him... I can only hope now that De Sheng gained control before he could cut. I'm so worried about him. He hasn't been eating, he's been cutting himself, deeper and deeper, over and over.. he keeps saying how he is so weak, he passes out. The other night, it wouldn't stop bleeding and he said he was scared. It was so sad. I told him it would be okay, he just had to keep pressure on it. I don't know what to do. I just don't know anymore. He is the world to me and he doesn't even know it. Shit. I'm crying now. Shit. Shit. Shit. I just want his pain to go away. I just... shit. I don't know anymore. I broke down the other night, I just, I told Xeison I wasn't going to eat anymore. I asked him What's the point? Noones going to miss me, you'll be gone and I'll have noone. He said No. Danielle she'll miss you. And I just... Shit. He kept saying he couldn't do it anymore, he had to give up. And I felt so bad, and I just wanted to give up to. I told him you'd be alright, you had Georgia and Haley and Cat and everyone. And he kept saying No, no. She would miss you. I just. Shit. I'm sorry. So then he said he wouldn't do it, he'd fight. We were gonna fight for each other. He doesn't wanna fight for me I guess... :( Shit. What have I done? Shit. I should have been here last night. Shit. Um.. okay.. I'm sorry, that was really depressing. Um. My hotel is really nice. It's on the Bay, and it's like this little Resort. There's like 100 Rooms and they just remodled so everything is brand new. It's beautiful. It's on this street with like 50 bazillion other hotels all along the water. Seriously, there are SO many fucking hotels here. You live in a small town right? Yeah... I live in the City, it's not like a huge city or anything, kind of like.. Medium sized? Yeah, anyway... do you have any cough drops? They'll make your throat feel better. I get addicted to those things when I'm sick. You gotta get the good tasting ones though. I like the blue ones. Um. Okay. Random! I love you! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| im so sorry, that was stupid of me, i should have seen that. i guess ill leave her a note. |
| from xeison : |
| It is my fault that i canthelp though. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Dude, believe me, I DO check my notes all the time to see if you've left me a note!!! But ther's nothing their! Well.. their was some stuff, but I did reply to them. When it was Friday for me, I was certian that I was gonna get up early on Saturday moring to talk to you. So I waited and waited. You kept updating, but you didn't talk to me, so I updated MY diary saying get you ass to mr and talk to me! Go check my entries!!!!!!!! Yeah, then you were about to watch the lezo movie lol, and you didn't come back! :( So, feeling very sad, I went to the City for the rest of the day lol :P It's 4:07pm right now. I just got back from Vicky's house. I stayed their the night *rolls eyes* Mum says she has no friends, so I have to pretend to be hers. Grr. SHE HAS FRIENDS!!!!! *mumbles.. stupid ^$*^&(* Ok, that was mean.. she's not that bad. I'm just being a bitch right now. *leg twiches* You know how we always TRY to get on here and talk to eachother?? Well, I really want that to happen, but in a way I don't.. Like I want to meet you at the airport, and that be the first time we talk and stuff, ya know?? But that's gonna be forever away! I SERIOUSLY don't know what to talk about if we ended up on here at the same time :S I want to though!!!! The phone thing, GREAT IDEA too!! =D lol! I LOVE YOU! Would I need to give you my home number, or home number though???? Hm... a calling card huh? I'll send some money over, ok? ok. How much is the card? Oh btw, I'm not just saying this, but when I talk on the phone, EVERYONE says I sound SO different! And I DO lol. So yeah.. WARNING! hm.. I feel like whatching a movie right now.. Oh yeah! YOU HAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE to give that bloody picture!!!!!!!!!!! I want to have at least ONE picture of you Danielle, Please, please, plase, plase, please, please, please, please, please, please, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED IT!!!!!! Oh btw, you know when you wrote that letter to me, but you didn't send it??? Yeah, well I remember when you were writting that you were going through a tough time with family, cutting, school, and throwing up, and you may have written about that stuff in the letter, right?? Yeah, well, could you write a letter that is about what's going on with you now, and also shuv the other letter in their too?? God, I sound so freaking selfish askin you to do that... I'm sorry!!!!! But you have to do it!!! Please??? PISS OFF you smelly raccoon!!!!! You don't need to bloody make me anything dammit!!! Geez! You're insane!!!!!!! *shakes head* Yes, I know about The Nightmare Before Christmas, but I haven't seen it. I know the story line and the characters from all the merchandise from it over here, esspecialy now that the new 3D/cartoon version has come out. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO made me FREAKING LAUGH so HARD!!!!! I'm laughing right now too! Gosh, the boy and the whore would have been so FUNNY to see! hahahahaahahahahahahahhahaha! God, she must really know how to use her hands well!! Either that, or he's pre-mature :P OMG!!! Duude, did I tell you about the time where I got Aaron's pubes in my BRACES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????????????? Lol, it was really... DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's never fully 'exploded' on me, but he has 'leaked out' all over my hands.. UGH!!! It tastes fucking awful! I'm never doing it again unless I get paid lol. Haha, sound like a slut now!! I'm not though.. Like, it's 'easy money' that I could use to get something I or my family want, or even to save up to see you! =D Yeah, ok, I'll shut up now.. I really hope noone but you will read this :S PPPFFT! Don't you bloody worry your pretty little head about Denna, I'll freaking sor her out! Just tottaly egnore her, I don't know why she won't just piss off already anyway! Grr. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I really don't know what's going on with my random outbursts of 'hyper-activity' ... Like, yeah it's good and all, but it worries me lately. Everyday for the NEARLY past week, I've had crazy moments that last for ages. Right before I go to bed I go off my nutter too.. Hm.. I'll let it happen for a while longer before I get worried about it, aye? ... A while ago, you sent me a note that started like this: i think blood is beautiful, right? i think cuts are beautiful (sometimes, not as much as i used to though) and they're dangerous. i could get hurt, or caught. but i'm being super careful. and i'm gonna try to stop.' And I just want to know if that note was ment for me or not?? Why are you hurting yourself again?? I know what will fix this =D You need to listen to Michael Jackson with me for a while! We need to dance around for ages and just go nuts on lollies, chocolate, and marshmallows!!!! =D OMG danielle!! WTF are we going to do on the firt day/night that we meet??? I have no idea, so it's up to you!!! hahahhahaahhahahahahaha! I love you! I shall get going now.. I am going to whatch Finding Nemo and Save the Last Dance again.. I'm in the mood for it.. What sort of mood i that huh?? Ha, I haven't straightened my hair today, and it is the curliest I've seen it in AGES! Hang on, I'm going to the kitchen to get a cooooooooooooooooooooooookie! Brb. BACK! Hello! =D yummy!!! I have two mint slice cookies! hahahahahahaha! Yeah, I love cookies!! WHOA! The phones' ringing!!!! brb. Ok, that was my mum :) She's not coming home 'til Tuesday :( *sighs* o well.. I need another cookie. brb. Mk, I'm back! :) I can't believe I have no homework this weekend! :) YAY! Well, I actualy have an English thingo, but I'm on STRIKE!!!!! hahahahahahaahaha! I'm off now my darling! I love you so FREAKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Hiya!! Ahh!! You're not pathetic. Trust me. I have no life. I used to... but that all went to hell. Dammit! Why can't we live closer? We could hang out on the weekends and watch Viva La Bam and corrupt the nation! Hah! My parents are the same way, and they have HORRIBLE taste in movies. Occassionaly they'll buy one I like, but it's RARE and only because one of THEM wants to see it. But I can rent movies from work (FOR FREE!) whenever I want, but um.. yeah, I'm on vacation... and my work is kinda far away... and I don't wanna go there for a movie, anyway. So eh. Whatever. I would say you could come here, but I wouldn't EVER subject you to my parents because they're fucking insane... Um. Yeah. You can come stay at my hotel! Hee! That would be awesome! Dude! My computer is possessed. Is yours too? Like... I don't think I told you, I think it was on Halloween or it was the day before and I was on Youtube and I was searching for something, some song and all of sudden it did (on it's own) a search for GHOST. It was fucking weird. I was WTF!? I didn't tell you to search for ghosts! AH! TELL CAT I WANT PICTURES! DAMMIT! LIKE YESTERDAY! Um.. yeah, I made the layout. Er, well... Remember I told you I used to know some HTML? Yeah, layout (well it was in red and black at the time) was one I used on my diary-x diary. So yeah, I made it, just a LONG time ago before I was stupid, and then I copy and pasted it on here and altered it a little bit. Oh shit... I'm so worried about Xeison. I was glad to see he posted today, I was talking to him last night and he had cut himself pretty bad, it wouldn't stop bleeding and I told him he had to make it stop, but it just wouldn't. And then he stopped responding (I think he passed out.) He kept talking about giving up, but I told him he can't, and so we ended up making a pact, I will fight for him and he will fight for me, since neither one of us like ourselves enough to fight for US, but we care so much about each other. So I hope he's okay. I hope YOU are okay. Are you okay? How's your throat? ♥ ♥ ♥ I LOVE YOU! |
| from xeison : |
| You do not need to thank me, im so sorry, i just, i dont know how to help :(. i hope the medication can help you. im sorry :(. |
| from xeison : |
| You do not need to thank me for anything, and i did deserve it, the day he left me, i had destroyed him, i deserved everything i got and worse, i am horrible scum. |
| from xeison : |
| It is true though, you are beautiful, you and Angel though, are both the same, you guys dont believe me, but ill get to you both one day, i hope :/. It is wrong for me to hate them, because they treated me exactly the way i deserved to be treated, i deserved worse. As for who i live with now, i would prefer not to go into too much detail until i am sure that it is safe to, but i am under what is called "government custody". i love you too *hugs* ♥ |
| from billie--joe : |
| WHOOP WHOOP!You go GURL uhhuh!*snaps fingers* |
| from xeison : |
| i know you wont believe me, but you are vvery beautiful. As for your question, i do not know where more Father is, he left me a little more than a year ago, he beat me very badly, because i failed horribly once again, and so he beat me really badly and i passed out, i woke up in an ally and when i was finally able to get up about a day or two later, im not sure, he was no where to be found, he and my Stepmother were gone, and their house was sold, there was not a trace of them. So, i have no idea what happened to them, i do not know where they are. i know i shouldnt, but i hate them, i hate them. i hope you have a good night. |
| from venting101 : |
| aww thanks =D Yeah...I do kind of enjoy being spoiled by all the visits tehehe Yeah, I'm totally excited to get my degree and finally be able to teach. I originally wanted to teach highschool because that is the level of French I want to teach, but on the other hand I freakin love kids and so I want to teach them too! haha So I'm going to start off teaching primary/junior, then if I feel like changing to highschool after, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it! :) Hope things are well with you! I'm not gonna lie, i haven't been doing much of reading diaries these days...I have so much other stuff to read that I just don't feel like reading other things haha but I will get back to it soon :) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Dude! You're crazy. It's not that far. I MapQuested it! From my address to Woodbury, TN. That's where you live, right? And it's... Total Est. Time: 11 hours, 57 minutes Total Est. Distance: 768.78 miles See? It'd only take me half a day to get there if I drove. ;) Which I can't. But if I could... ROAD TRIP! Yeah... it is WAY up here.. haha. I laughed at that. It's FREEZING and snowing like crazy. Michigan weather is so fucking unpredictable. Like, earlier it was thunderstorming and now it's snowing and tomorrow it'll probably be sunny and like 50 degrees. I hate it here! I don't have any ibuprofen... just Tylenol Extra Stength. Dammit. I miss my Vicodin and my Serax and my Valium... Hm. I'll have to check that movie out it sounds funny. Man you gotta watch Rolling Kansas..! Seriously! It's just like random funny shit... like they're all standing out in this feild, and the one guy, i can't remember his name, he keeps getting hit on the head and he turns around and they all look and the other guys like "It's an old guy... in a tree." Oh man. It's funny. And there's bunnies! And a cripple! And a magical forest of marajuana. Dammit! I'm still pissed I missed the first hour. The first hour is funnier I think. They play it on Comedy Central sometimes. Aw. You're scared to fly? Have you ever? I have a few times, it's not so bad... but after 9/11... yeah... yikes, scary. Um. Okay. I'm done. I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sweet dreams. ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| i see, *hugs* im sorry that that happened. You can ask me anything, ill tell you, though i prefer answering questions about my past than my present, but if you want to know something, please do ask. Thank you for answering my question, and i am glad that you have been able to see a bright sdie to this all, and though i know it wont change your mind, Danielle i highly doubt you are fat. *hugs* ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| i, honestly, yes, i wold love that, it would be amazing, but what if i destroyed it, then what :'(? As for your Mother, i understand, sometimes no matter how hard we try, it is still almost impossible to change people, it was like that with my Father too before he left. As for my question, and you do not have to answer this, do you have any idea why she hurts you? *hugs* &hearts: |
| from xeison : |
| Yes, war is pretty horrible, but unfortunetly it is not easy for America to move out anymore now that it has moved in, or it will look like it has when it destroyed many other countries, war is terrible, but it is never easy :(. You discussed your Mother, and i think i have learned a lot more about you. i am truly sorry that she does that to you, may i ask a question though, it is a tough question, so if you do not want me to ask, then just say know? i hope you are doing ok, ♥ you. |
| from xeison : |
| Danielle, i do not think you understand, there are people who are dead because of me :'(. i read that wish you wrote about, the one about everyone living in a mansion one day, it is really nice and kind of you, that would be nice one day, though honestly, i dont understand why you would let me live there. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Aw. My poor little sleep deprived Danielle. *hugs* I hope you don't feel compelled to have to leave me notes, if you're busy I'll understand. As long as you don't forget about me... :) But I DO enjoy your notes, more than you know. But.. geeze! Don't strain your eyes on account of me dear. Nightmares? Gah. *hug* I have ones like that too often, people trying to kill me or people I'm with... and I wake up shaking, sometimes in a panic attack, all sweaty. It's terrible. I hope you're okay. Really, I do. If I could take away the nightmares, I would. In an instant. And I would totally be there in the mansion with you and Xeison and everyone else and hell yeah BAM! Hee! THat would just be such greatness. We need to meet. For real. And I'm still waiting on an addy to send you your gift! No pressure... ;) Dude. Have you ever seen the movie Rolling Kansas? If not, you should watch it, it's hysterical. If you're in a bad mood or sad or anything, it will cheer you up and make you laugh. ♥ Danielle!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!! ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm late for school!!! I haven't read your entry yet :( If it's happy then YAY!!!!!!!!! =D If it's not, then... YAY!!!!!! It means I get to leave you a big long note about how much I love you!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!! I have to go now! I love you so much!!!!! |
| from cheekyash : |
| it's bullshit huh? when i was in school (an all girl's catholic school), some younger kids that we were friendly with got in a heap of trouble for hugging people in the hallways. bleuch, it's just stupid. |
| from venting101 : |
| hey dude, i've been alright, busy with school. I have come to terms with the fact that my occupation litteraly is being a student and for now, it's my life, and it has to be till i'm done and teaching, then i guess school will still be my life.... anyway. sorry yeah, i am the only one who has the password now cause I just need a place where i can vent and no one knows. cause i get angry and have some pretty mean thoughts sometimes, but they are definitely not things i would ever act upon or even wish of acting upon....and for that reason i just don't feel that anyone else other than myself needs to know about them. :) hehe but i'll still write in venting, no worries !! hope you're doing well! |
| from x-crime-x : |
| *MEGA HIGH PITCH SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* =D MY DIARY MY DIARY MY DIARY!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! It looks so wonderful now!!!!! I love you so much!!!! hehehehehehehehehe! hahahahahaahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! YIPPI!!! Thank you so much Danielle! You're BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gives you a lolly pop all to yourself* ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Wow. That's a side I've never seen from either of you before (you and Brittany). I hope you can both sort this out soon, and be happy again. I read Jacobs diary too. Bloody hell. That's a whole lotta love he's got for her :) He's seems to be a lovely guy. Like, really sensitive and creative. I like him. He's a cool bannana. I love you Danielle. I love you so much. |
| from xeison : |
| i am not brilliant, beautiful, wonderful, or awesome. i am younger than you, i am 15 and you are either 16 or 17 likely, but i am not smarter, you are smarter. im so sorry i fealied you, im so sorry. im so sorry for everything, im a horrible Friend. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| But I wanna SEE!!!!!! (Your hair!) So... get to it... c'mon. I'm WAITING! And yes, I can spend however much I WANT on you. I just started reading this book... it's called Sharp Objects and it's awesome. Have you read it? If not, you should. It's brilliant. No, I don't think that was mean. Sometimes you have to be brutally honest in order to get your point across, you know? If not, they'll just keep behaving the same and they won't think that there's anything wrong with it. So hopefully it was a bit of a reality check for her. How are things going between the two of you? Hopefully okay... :) Amy lee is gorgeous and she has an amazing voice, too. Good combo! You want to know how you got Haley? By being yourself, duh! You're beautiful both insidde and out and you have a huge heart and you're funny and cool and sweet and a dork and she loves you!!! ♥ I used to think the same thing about my ex... there were so many girls lusting after him, and he picked me and I never ever understood why. They were all so beautiful and I'm just... me. Eh. But she loves you and you deserve her and blah blah blah. You got that? Good, okay then! ♥ You're not mean, you just don't sugercoat things, which is good if you think about it. It's okay once in a while, but sometimes you just need that cold slap of reality, you know? Ah! The dentist!? Again? Fuckers, I hate them. I probably have a bazillion cavities and all my teeth are going to fall out... oh well. What can you do. And don't say go to the dentist because I don't like people poking around my mouth. Ick! Just... no thanks. I hope you're feeling okay... I LOVE YOU!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Aw, look at your Haley! She's so pretty! Now we just need a picture of the two of you TOGETHER! Aw, I bet you're so cute together. And Cat, wow... she has changed a lot. And her hair is still super sexy and I still haven't seen your new haircut. Ahh! Tell Cat to get her ass in gear. I want more pictures dammit. I'm glad you're having a good day. You deserve it. ♥ you! |
| from xeison : |
| im sorry, i wrote a stupid note, you can yell at me for that one too. |
| from xeison : |
| Good job, you have won again, i would say i am proud of you, but i think i am younger than you, so im not allowed to, but i, well, i am. Please keep fighting, becuase you can, you are the shining center candle. You are the one who radiates hope, you can do it Danielle. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Lalalalalalalala I'm not telling! Britney Spears!?!?!?! Haha that is TOO funny. DUDE!!!!! So I just watched those... first the Badget one and I just bust out laughing. The Evil Strawberry one made me sad (because the background music sounds a lot like the Graduation Song which was dedicated to my friend- the one who died... remember I told you about him... accidently hung himself?) Yeah... but at the end it made me laugh. And dude!!! The banana one!! It made me spit vodka all over the fucking keyboard. Thanks a lot asshole!! ;) I haven't laughed that hard in ages! Thank you so much! AND DON'T YELL AT ME BIOTCH!!!!!!! I'LL APOLOGIZE IF I WANT TO! SO THERE!!!! See. It's not nice to type all in caps... ! Dude! That movie (fight club) makes me happy. I have insomnia. It's a bitch. I used to watch family guy, I don't really anymore but I love Stewie!!!!!! Eeee! Do you really want to know who died in my dream.... okay. But if you make fun of me I'll tell everyone you're secretly in love with Britney Spears. :P So hah! Um. So I'm like obsessed with this show... Prison Break. I think I told you that, I dunno... have you ever seen it? It's all kinds of awesome. Like seriously. One of the guys from the show... LJ... yeah, he was in my dream and he died, and it made me really really really sad. Is that weird? Yeah... probably so... Hm. I'll spend however much money I want to so shut your face okay. Did I tell you how much fucking change I had? A LOT! Like... umm... A LOT. Yeah. I already know what I wanna send you but I don't know if you already have it so... hm. *thinks* I need to figure that out without you finding out what I'm talking about but you probably already know already asshole thanks for ruinging the surprise! Um. I need a cigarette. And I LOVE you. And I'm done. ♥ |
| from x-dead-x : |
| I dunno. His arse hole friends keep whoring themselves on myspace and won't update on him =( I'm worried about him, though. I mean, I feel like a loser cause I don't know him personally and I'm worried, but he gave me some really good advice and I don't want anything to happen to him =( |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Holy shit that was long, sorry. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always fucking forget what I'm going to say when this stupid white box is glaring at me, like "Hey! Write in me!" Fucking box. Um. I'm going to warn you in advance, that I am exhausted and drunk and so this note might lean a little (or a lot) or the retarded rambling/not making sense/no point side of the fence. Just so you don't get your hopes up, okay? I fucking worked for 11 hours today!!! 11 hours!! That's like a whole day! Man! My vacation... started like um... one hour and forty minutes ago... so! What should I do!? I bought some books, but I'm already almost finshed with the first one... Fight Club, have you read it? You know.. the book the movie is based off of. It's pretty much the same, but different kinda. Um Why am I telling you this? I warned you!! So um. Wanna know how retarded I am? I don't remember Cats password and so now I have to wait to see her new diary. Fucking shit fuckers! Dude. So your entire x-razor-x entry was like... so relatable. So so so so so so. I never ever ever go out to eat with THEM mostly cause I'm never invited but partly because I never want to go, but still it's nice to get invited at least you know. (I think this is gonna be a LONG NOTE! Sorry! YOu can skip over the boring parts if you want, okay?) And I always get real quiet and get lost in my thoughts and then everyone gets mad and starts talking about me... like blah blah blah you're just like your brother. you don't eat. you eat too much. fuckity fuck fuck fuckers. I get made fun of for reading, too... no one else in this family knows how to fucking open a book, let alone read one. But I love reading. Love love love it. Any recommendations? I have that amazon giftcard burning a whole in my pocket and I've only orderded three books so far! But dude!!!!! I'm going to send you something so hush. Brittany is going to be SO jealous! What do you want? Or can I surprise you? Or both? Just let me know if there's something you want... okay? As soon as you gimme an addy to send it too... :) And then you can say, hey look at me, I get stuff too BIOTCH! Dude. I had a dream last night... and people were dying. But I'm not telling you who people as in who the people dying were because you would laugh at me. And I don't want to be laughed at. Because it was really weird. And I was really sad about it, too. Um. *hugs* I have dreams a lot where I'm being chased and my legs won't function... you know that dream? Fuck. It's annoying. AFI is the shiznit! When my brother pisses me off I crank it up (it's in the CD player in the bathroom... not the new one, but one of the older ones... I can't think of the name of it right now) I like to do that Thursdays night when he's watching Greys Anatomy of whatever it's called because he's like obsessed with that show and it pisses him off. Haha. I'm so mean. COme and get me whenever you want... I'm in the mood for a roadtrip! And I'm on vacation right now so... ;) ;) ;) You know.. in case you get bored. That would be fucking awesome. Okay. I ♥ you and I'm shutting up now but I think I forget half the things I meant to say so I'm sorry. Sorry sorry sorry. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Well you choose the action, you get the consequence, or in this case, the risk of it.. Two thumbs up that you don't get caught though *sticks thumbs up. smiles really big* I love you!!!!!!!! |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| I knoooow I know I know. I feel kind of bad, but I had to lock it for a couple of days to sort shit out. Email me at hate_thisplace(at)hotmail.com and I'll send you the username and pass. Thanks, love. <3 |
| from xeison : |
| i, it is complicated, but i cannot leave here, i cannot see a psychiatrist, i cannot do anything about them. You have no reason to thank me, i think we may have confused you. My name is xeison, the person who help you is named Ai, she is a completely different person from me, im not sure how to explain this, but she is a part of me, just like all of them, im not just one person, im many people, and i switch, its called Disassociative Identity Disorder if you want to look it up, some people also call it Multiple Personality Disorder, basically she is like a completely different person just sharing my body, just like all of the other ones inside me. See, i have two weird problems, i get voices and see things like you do, but i also have people inside me who al lfight for control of my brain, i am not sure if that makes any sense at all to you, but i do not know how else to explain it, and im so sorry, im sorry that i failed. im so sorry. |
| from x-dead-x : |
| can i kiss you? |
| from x-dead-x : |
| nuh uh, those skateboard shoes gots my names on em! |
| from x-dead-x : |
| Catherine Catastrophe has a new diary =) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| AHH! I'm sorry I left you! I swear that ONE DAY we WILL be smart enough to actually STAY on here and have a conversation lol. But ya know the weird thing?? I wouldn't be able to say anything here to you on a note if we were both here :S I have no idea what I'd say to you.. Does that make sence??? GRR! I KNOW their was a skater book that you read lol, it was AGES ago. It was about a girl who wanted to become a famous skater or something, and she was a self harmer too and some assies were making fun of you because you were reading it! I KNOW that book exists!! I'll go through all your bloody entries to find it if I have to!!! lol :) I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from xeison : |
| Oh yes, one more thing, Angel wanted to give you an inspirational quote, so ill give you one, it is adapted from the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling, but i have changed it a little. " If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting too, If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream--and not make dreams your master, If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!" If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much, If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And--which is more--you'll be the Woman you seek to be!" |
| from xeison : |
| i, i cant go to a Psychiatrist, i do not have the ability to, i have no way to get medication. im sorry. im not insulted by you finding my messing up funny, and i am glad that my note was able to help Haley at least a little. i ♥ you too |
| from thatgirlx : |
| *Slaps self on forehead* DUH!!! I wanted to say that I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so SO fucking proud of you for standing up and fighting back! And if my brain wasn't on vacation, I would insert a cute little inspirational quote about how you can beat this, and blah blah blah, but I'll spare you the attempt because it'll just come out all sloppy and messed up sounding. Long story short? I love you, and you have my support, no matter what. Don't give up. Okay? ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Hiya! ♥ I don't care if the letter is retarded (which I highly doubt it is) because it'll be from YOU! I love letters. They're so personal... ooh ooh! I get to see what your handwriting looks like!!! I keep losing my train of thought... um. I had a million things I wanted to say to you, but POOF they're gone all of sudden. This is what happens when I try to write something. I have everything to say and not enough brain power to transfer anything into words... DAMMIT! I'll remember later. Oh yeah. You have panic attacks, too? *hugs* Panic attacks are... are... like the worst things ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Fukicty fuck fuck fuck. My brain is dying. I apologize for the stupidity of this note. (x100) ♥ |
| from xxemoamboxx : |
| hi u seem kool leave me a note back plzz! |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| after seeing your new layout, i felt compelled to tell you that i met davey fucking havok of afi the other night. it was amazing because if it weren't for AFI i wouldn't be here right now. ily girl♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| P.S. You are NOT depressing. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Guess whose being anti-social on another Friday night? *points at myself* Of course. You're not a bad friend so shut your mouth before I stuff a pink bar of soap in your mouth and make you cleanse yourself of tainted words. Okay? Okay! Dude. So. My mom doesn't know I don't believe in "god." And you know how when someone sneezes, and you're supposed to say "god bless you" Yeah, well. I don't. She always says it to me and I think, yeah, "he's" really fucking blessed me, let me tell you. I just don't know how to tell her, how to bring it up, you know. She'd probably just start crying or something... so... You're writing me a letter!?!? *blushes* Aw! I feel special! And an I ♥ you thingy!!!! Eeee! It's like my lucky day or something. I feel special! I love letters! Except when they're from ex-boyfriends and contain only one line and are received a day after the "fake" break-up so I have to relive it all over again. Um... anyways... how's Haley? I hope she's cheered up a little! Or.. I mean, a lot. A lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot LOT. Yeah, I think that sums it up. My day... I um... eh. Well, you know. I'm feeling a bit detached... from everything. I'm not sure what the hell that means... but yeah. How are you? ♥ |
| from x-crime-x : |
| Yes my darling, you are forgiven!!! :D I LOVE YOU!!!!! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| NYAY! TALK TO ME!!!! YOU'RE ON NOW! TALK TO ME PLEASE!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! CHECK YOUR E-MAILS TOO DARNIT! I LOVE YOU! |
| from xeison : |
| May i aks you what happens in your nightmares? Mudumbi, are they Indian? Do they help you? |
| from billie--joe : |
| whee hooooo im happy for you!! (hey that rhymes)-) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| First of all, you are NOT a bad girlfriend. You got that? I can tell from the way you talk about Haley that you are both crazy about each other. :) It's not not NOT your fault that she is going through a tough time right now. Just be there for her, like you have been, and I really think that will be enough. I mean, c'mon, with someone like you around, how could someone stay sad!? I just don't think that's possible. So cheer up, sunshine!!! Secondly... Mudumbi.. I laugh everytime I read that. It's just a goofy name... especially considering the profession. :) Thirdly, more shitty nightmares!? *hugs* If you wanna talk about them, feel free... sometimes it helps to get them out, espescially if you're having very similar ones night after night... Or.. do you keep a dream diary? Like not online, but if you keep a notebook by your bed and then in the morning jot down everything that you can remember, sometimes that helps you to be able to sort them out and work through whatever underlying issue is causing them.. am I making sense? And fourthly (because for some reason I felt like numbering my random thoughts... *shrugs*) I LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU! (And I left Haley a little something in her notes, too.) ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from x-crime-x : |
| I'm back! I finished that entry for you. Um, but it turned out shit!!!!!!!! A: because it's all squashed up. It wouldn't let me put in a new line :( B: I actually read over it, and it SUCKS ASS! I hate it. You're so freaking... *coughs* WEIRD to think it was nice. COW!!!! Trust me my darling, Haley WILL get better and she's going to be happy soon! :D GRR! You told her to add me you bully!!!!! lol I love yu Danielle! I miss you so much!! xoxox |
| from x-crime-x : |
| What?!?! It made you nearly cry?!?!? Dude.. Um.. THAT'S COOL BANANNAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D YIPPI!!! Um, it's actually not the full version though :S I wrote that one a while ago.. about Jake. But it is really weird. So i didn't put the whole thing in. I LOVE YOU!!! Dude, when you see that guy on Friday (i think it's that day) does he actually help you in anyway?? Is there someone else you can see for a while? :S.... CONGRATS ON YA CHEMISTRY!!!! :) YAY FOR YOU! :P I'm proud of you my dear. Um, what flavour lollies do I like huh? hmm.. well.. I like sweet stuff. Always have lol. I love the sour sherbert stuff sometimes. And the WIZZ FIZZ. Do you have that in America??What's your favourite ice-cream?? And chocolate??? :) I love you Danielle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you so much! Thank you for everything you do for me.. I owe you everything. i love you. |
| from xeison : |
| im not mad, i love you too, im sorry i took so long to respond. |
| from cat-45 : |
| stupid Mudumbi. lets kick him in the shin! What flavor lollies do you have??? |
| from cat-45 : |
| Not much farther. YOu actually understand that chemistry? hee hee. You should have seen my pictures =) I think she should give me 10 points for creativity =D lol. So Mudumbi... Is he helpin at all? I mean does he ever talk to you and give you advice? Or does he just sit there "uh huh. uh huh. And how does that make you feel?" Argh Spanish. I lied, no me gusta espanol! |
| from cat-45 : |
| ha ha, you went crazy =) |
| from cat-45 : |
| I'm hungry and you just reminded me =) How'd you manage to choke? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| hey any note from is you is anything but sucky. i don't care if you ramble about the fucking weather, just as long as it's YOU leaving ME a note. like you said, it's just nice to know someone is actually taking time out of their day to devote to me... that's fucking awesome. i don't deserve it, but hey! it's nice. :) so i'm not complaining. dude! did you dress up!?ah! halloween is the shit! but don't ask me what i did because it's pathetically sad and i refuse to admit to it... um. yeah. your teachers give out too much homework! don't they know you've got better things to do? (like leave notes and write in your diary!?) geeze. *shakes head* assholes! my day was... uneventful. oh wait. scratch that. mom laughed and made fun of me. the fucking highlight of my day. she pisses me off. don't ask about that either because i think it's even more pathetic than how i spent halloween night. work was okay. super slow, just me and my boss, we were both hella tired and she kept saying 'lets take a little break, don't you wanta have a smokie!?' so we'd go break... we didn't accomplish much today... but i think we work our asses off for the most part so we deserve a slack off day, right? right! why am i boring you with detailed descriptions of nothingness? hm... good question. i'm gonna shut the hell the hell up now. hope your day is going well. wait, no. GREAT! hope it's going fan-freaking-tastical! ♥ YOU! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| *cough* *ahem* *cough* where's my nice note? huh? huh? huh? *cough* *cough* *taps foots* it's tomorrow! i'm WAITING! *cough* j/k! ;) i ♥ you! happy (belated) halloween! glad you had a good night!!! ♥ yay free candy!! ♥ |
| from allredj : |
| Hey You online |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Hello my darling :) I love you!!!!!!!! Haha, I was looking for a book to read and take down to my dad's house, and i ened up chhosing SPEAK because it seemed the only interisting thing their.. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! If you like that book, you MUST READ a book I read last year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's called GLORY but i don't know the author. I'll look at it tomorrow :) Ask the people at school if they have it. It's seriously a fantastic book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um, you need to read THE LONGEST WAR too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I read that a few years back, but every word still remains vividly in my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna read that Sk8er book you read a few months ago! What's it called?? Who's it by? Dude, I love reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It would be a dream to sit in a room with a million books, just escaping, becoming the writter, becoming the characters.. Ya know? I'm sure you do! :) I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from xeison : |
| You do not need to be sorry to me for not knowing what to say. May i ask though, why cant you see it? im not brilliant or beautiful or kind or caring, im horrible and evil. That was very sweet of you, to be worried about me, im so sorry that i worried you. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Ah! Don't do that! That's a horrible, horrible idea. You got that!? Damn. I miss sleeping pills. I was only supposed to take one but sometimes I'd take two of three and black out... :/ I need a break from life. Or something. Dude! Your uncle has ISSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I WANT to send you something. Okay? I took all my change to Coinstar and turned it into a fat Amazon.com gift certificate. And I thought of you... and I want to send you something. Dammit! My heads not working today.. like really really not working. And I just want to write, but I'm not even going to attempt it because I can't even fuckign think straight. Um. What the fuck was I gonna say? Se what I mean? NOT WORKING! AH! i can't sleep. Cause the second I turn out the lights and hit the pillow... BAM! I'm wide awake. Happens every single time. It's fucking annoying! I m only ever tired during the day and at night I'm fucking wide awake. Ah! I think maybe I shut up before I stop making any sense at all... or maybe I already accomplished that. Sorry.. I'm really confused. ♥ ♥ &hearts You are AMAZING! And I LOVE YOU! XO Sweet dreams. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Dude! That fucking hurts! A couple weeks ago, I was at work, vaccuming and I hit my "funny bone" on the door frame and my whole arm felt like it had shattered! And then it was all numb... and my fingers were all tingly and not working right. Fuck whoever who deemed that bone as "funny" because it's NOT fucking funny. At all. Ah! Why is your uncle such a fucktard!? You're not allowed to get mail? Not even if it comes from like... a website. Like are you allowed to shop online? Probably not... hm. Well hopefully I can send it to your Mom's house then. Just let me know and I'll send you something, K? Just to say thanks for being my friend. ;) Are you still feeling all weird...? I have days where I get really spacy, and time seems to slow way down and I just... ah! I hate when that happens. It's really weird. Um. What else can ramble about? Ah! I worked 9 hours today. I'm so tired. And I want to send you something, dammit! So make it happen. :) K? K! I ♥ you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| of course lovebug. not on this site, though. i'm trying to never come back here again. you should get a Livejournal, there are a lot more features and whatnot. but yeah i definitely want to keep in touch with you :] email - [email protected]. drop me a line, girl <3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I knew it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew that when you were alone on the computer at Cat's house, and you had the slightest doubt about something... I knew it was something big that was bothering you in the back of your mind! EEEEEEEEEEK! I'm sorry i was too late. Please tell me what's wrong.. You can talk to me Dani, I love you, Danielle, i LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I'm here for you, always.. What's happened? What's bothering you? E-mail it to me baby.. please? I love you so much. Don't let anything take hold of you nd hurt you. You are so FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're so fucking strong and perfect!!!!!! Don't let anything hurt you Dani. I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU, so much that it makes me want to vomit!!!!!!! (in a good way) I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX |
| from imanobody00 : |
| You made me smile hon, thank you! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| P.S.S. Dude! You're like a layout making MACHINE! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Yay!!! Hi!!!!! Ah. So... well.. I'm sorry. About everything. If you want to e-mail me what Haley said I'll read it. That's so sad... :( It's like neither one of you meant to hurt the other but you both ended up sad and hurt. :( GAH! Not cool. Sounds like she's just curious and all... and it just came out wrong the first time. But yeah, that would piss me off too if someone said that to me. It's like, hello, if I wanted attention, there would be a lot simpler ways of going about achieving that. You know? Do you feel like... by them not noticing... sort of like they don't care? Or that you're invisible? That's how I feel. Like I think I could just lose pound after pound after pound and no one would ever think I have an eating disorder. Everyone expects you be rail thin, and if you're not, you can't possibly have an eating disorder. And if you do, then you're not a very "good" one... that's how I feel sometimes, anyway. Like if I told someone, I think they'd just look at me like "You're not even fucking skinny. You have a ED? Are you messing with me?" Does that make sense? My heads all messed up... :( Aw. Well I'm glad you at least get to see your Megan. I'm sure Cat won't be offended. It makes perfect sense... that you want to spend some time with her before she gets shipped off 40-50 miles away. Gah. Stupid Megan's parents. Did your mom ever find anything out? I talked to Xeison today... he's... I don't know. He just wants to die. And I love him to death but it just eats away at me sometimes. I'm a bad friend. :( I feel like I'm not doing as much as I could do for him. Like nothing I say even punctures through his skin. Sometimes I think it's pointless, but he's so kind to me. I'm not giving up on him. He's got it inside of him, he just doesn't know it yet. I have a feeling this is gonna be a long note... um. Ah! So... I'll give you your surprise, but first I need your address. As in... your home address. If you want to give it to me that is... you can e-mail it to me. I'm not a stalker, I promise. I just wanna send you something! But if you don't wanna give out i'll understand. Okay? ♥ Hope you feel better. And P.S. YOU ARE NOT DISGUSTING!!! So shut the hell up and go check out your hair in the mirror. ;) And then say "Damn! I'm sexy!" ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I ♥ you!!!!!! Now talk to me, dammit, because I have fucking migraine and I need someone/something to distract me from the pounding. Ah! I can't even fucking write. I can barely hear myself THINK. Ah! Are you still on fall break? Bah! I'm taking a vacation in two weeks. Well not really. Just from work. I'm not actually going anywhere. I just need a break. Plus, it's a paid vacation, so I mean... if I don't use it up before Feb. I lose it. I am going to go bored out of my freaking mind I think. But I'm just so sick of the fucking drama there! It's worse than school. *sigh* I'm rambling... :) Ah! Tell me what's bothering you? I want to HELP. If I can... or. Yeah. *HUGS* ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| P.S. Where is my picture!? Huh huh huh!? Don't you want a surprise!? Huh huh huh? Do you!? ;) ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Ah! I'm so sorry. I feel bad now. I'm here I'm here... TALK to me! What's going on!? |
| from imanobody00 : |
| Thank you for being so sweet. Yeah I was very scared, maybe that is a good thing though. I will be OK... always am. You can talk to me anytime too!!! <3 Thank you again |
| from allredj : |
| You will be alright hippie |
| from allredj : |
| LIFE AINT FARE HA HA HA HA HIPPIE |
| from allredj : |
| Hey you have been a hippie and you will stay a hippie. Oh and Cat is a prep/Emo |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Oh.. and P.S. If the fucktard is too stupid to realize you even got your fucking hair cut, then his opinion is obviously irrelevant. If it was "too short" he would have fucking noticed the second you walked in the damn door. I'm glad YOU like it. Because you're the one who has to flaunt it, not him. So he can just shove it up his ass along with twenty fucking little debbie cakes. K? K! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| DUDE!! I want to see your pretty new hair! C'mon POST A PIC! Cat did it. Don't you want to be cool like Cat? C'mon Danielle!!!!!!! Everyone's doing it!!!! ;) If you post a picy of your new hair I'll give you a surprise. :) But don't ask what it is cause I'm not TELLING. And you can't make me. I'm glad the note made you laugh. It was pissing me off. It's happened before usually I just gotta wait it out but it was driving me insane so I had to figure out how to make it go away. Fuckers. Talk as much you want! Who cares? People at work, they're always like "you never talk..." blah blah blah they don't get that I just don't LIKE them. I'm only talkative around people I'm comfortable around, people who aren't two faced little bitches like 85% of the people there. They obviously think I'm freak. Whatever. I don't care anymore. I just wanna do my job, get paid and get the fuck outta there. Dude! I know. I have a sweet tooth. Bad! Like... AH! It's like I can't eat a meal, but I'll eat like two reese's peanut butter cups that don't even fill me up when I could of have... like a peice of chicken or something. YOu know? Less fattening and more filling... but my brain doesn't work sensibly anymore. So whatever. I'm working on it. Dammit! I am going to lose this weight if it fucking kills me. Um. Pretend I didn't just say that. Okay? Okay! ♥ you!!!!!! |
| from billie--joe : |
| weehooooo!!!!!!!!!yes i am jealous!i love it and dont pay no tention to dad ok i like it and so do you k bye |
| from allredj : |
| You know your my best friend. |
| from cat-45 : |
| hee hee. Uncle fuckface is an arse hole! I loveyour hair! I wish mine wasn't such a monster. Trade ya!!! ha. You're smarter than falling for that. hee hee. So yah. What day are you coming over? THE TITLE FOR THAT ENTRY IS WHAT I'M LISTENING TO RIGHT FUCKING NOW! seriously! Im listening to that exact song. Cool? yup. So yah. I'm gonna do my thing and take pictures of myself because I'm so narcissistic =) Toodles! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Whoa. Who knew all you had to do to turn the fuckers off is hit two keeps at the same time. Amazing! I just wanted to come back and do this.... ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Okay. I feel better now. :) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| AHH!!!!!! My computer is so retarded> Apparently if you hold the shift key down too long it think you like>>> died or something and won"t let you type like a normal person> fucking "sticky keys" umm>>> so > is a period now>>> apparently> what the fuck? how come i still make question marks? ahh!!!! I totally forgot what i was going to say> um> your uncle sounds like a fucking ass> he needs to make up his damn mind> i hate when people do that>>> one minuter they"re telling you you"re "skinny" the next you"re fat>>> and blah blah blah it"s like "what the fuck do you want me to be!?" cause you can"t be it all at once you know> go tell him to eat another hot dog and shut the fuck up> loser! not you> him> um> are you okay? i"m sorry you couldn"t eat your icecream :( hey>> it let me make a face!! man wtf? it"s like some things i can do and some i can"t> fuckers!!!!!! i"ve been eating too much chocolate> it"s like all i ever eat> i had some soup then just some reese"s and that"s it> fuck i need to lay off the candy< i think that"s why i"m not losing any weight>>> holy shit i"m rambling> sorry! aww>> i can"t make a heart :( but i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *insert cute little heart here* okay! talk to you later! hope your mouth is feeling better> |
| from razornotes00 : |
| YOU!!!!!!! :) Duude, I love you! So how are you going? Is your mouth any better yet?? YAY!!!! ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love ice cream! AHHHHHHHHHH! Your uncle is going DOWN!!!! Don't let him get in the way of becoming what and who you wanna be, ok? You're so important and you are stronger than him. It's really crule though, the way he said that he's gonna give you back to your mum :( Gosh.. I would have started hittin ghim right there and then! I wouldn't take that shit from him! You're family and he shouldn't be the one to decide to "give you up" or not! Grr. I guess I probably wouldn't do anything if IIIII was actually apart of his family.. Like.. ya kind of have lived with him for your whole life aye.. Well, I hope you don't let his shit take hold of you :) I love you so much! Oh yeah, I spoke to Haley.. she HATES questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! But I got her to answer some stuff :) If you want me to ask her anything, I will, ok? :D I love you so much Danielle!!!! Take care ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Guess who's the sexiest girl on Dland?? |
| from allredj : |
| You will not believe how much of your diary i read. Sept 3, 2006 to now Diarys is what I read |
| from cat-45 : |
| yup I'm online. |
| from cat-45 : |
| So are you gonna call me or is it too late? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| How's your mouth feeling? I hope it feeling much much much better! Sorry if I made you laugh. Well, sort of. You know... :) How's fall break going so far? Ooohh... layered. Pretty! I try to layer my own hair, but eh... I bet it looks beautiful when a professional does is it! You don't have to thank me for introducing (err... pushing?) Xeison to you. I just thought you two might have some things in common. Turns out I was right, huh? Like ALWAYS! Just kidding. My heads pouding. I've got a lot on my mind. Sorry if those lacked.. err... enthusiasm or focus or something. Kinda bland... I don't know. Sorry. ♥ you! |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| lovebug, i downloaded all of the tracks to the new MCR & if i get my cd burner to cooperate, I could burn it & mail it to you. |
| from cheekyash : |
| believe it or not, i'm not gonna butter you up and say something i don't mean just to make you feel better. so yes, you can be confident that i meant it. i've no idea how long it's been happening altogether, a year, maybe two (?) this time around, i'd say a week or two of it, i don't know. it comes and goes. has it never happened to you? grr, hope your jaw feels that little bit better darlin. |
| from allredj : |
| Good night Hippie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from allredj : |
| How do u add people to buddy list |
| from allredj : |
| I like that you actually like your diarys. I get to know u better and your a good writer. |
| from allredj : |
| Yeah sure how can I |
| from allredj : |
| I thought since you locked it you didnt want know one to read it SORRY. |
| from getinline : |
| I hope you're feeling better!! I live in fear of the day the dentist tells me I have to get my wisdom teeth cut out or pulled. I LOVED The Best Little Girl in the World. But I pretty much love any books or movies that deal with eating disorders of some kinds. It's an obsession, lol. That's so sad about all the kids at your school. I know they feel like there's no other option, but I still don't understand how someone could do that. Yeah, I've thought about it, but, like you said, I don't think I could ever put my family and friends through that kind of pain. When did the world get so sad?? |
| from allredj : |
| Thanks that means alot to me. Im glad she likes it cause thats who I am |
| from allredj : |
| Should I lighten up I just. well you know want her to know how I feel. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| No, things won't ever be the same with hm and I Dani. I guess, I just need to visit him, so when he dies of alcohol poisoning, I won't feel like I made no effort. When that happens, or Dad and Nicky get a divorce, I will certianly be their for Nick and GEORGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and him too. Lol, what am I saying?!?!?!? They'll never get a divorce!! :P I don't know. It's just never gonna be the same. O well. I'm just scared that he's going to fuck up Georgie too. I love her and I don't want her to turn out like me or anything. Ok, so if I starve, then I'll not be as bloated, but then I'll gain weight, huh? So then i just won't eat as much after, or I can do more exercise. Or both. Anyway, I'm not doing it because I'm screwed, it's just to help ou for a bit. What new lay-outs have you created my creative one?!!? :) I love you! Can I see them one day? Well, ha, I'm late, so I better go now :) I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and PLEASE EAT something SOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
| from brokenwords : |
| username: casses password: mots |
| from getinline : |
| I�m sorry about the boy, Jake, who hung himself. A kid from my high school shot himself about a month ago. I didn�t really know him either, but he was the younger brother of my friend�s husband. He killed himself over a girl, too. He was about seventeen or so. It�s so sad when something like that happens. I�m really glad you didn�t do it � I don�t even really know you, but I can tell that you�re a really sweet, kind girl who is definitely going to make a difference in this world. And I�m not particularly religious, although I do consider myself Christian, and maybe it�s just the church that you go to. I�m not really one to talk because I only go to church on Christmas and Easter with my family, but perhaps you could try exploring some different faiths. But then again, maybe not :) And congrats on your seven month anniversary!! It sounds like you two really do love each other. I hope everything works out with Megan!! The two friends that are hurting - just by being there for them and loving them you are helping them. Hopefully everthing has straightened itself out by now, though. Grr�I don�t have time to catch up on the rest of the entries I missed but I�m going to try to either tonight or tomorrow, so be ready for another note from me!! |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| of course not, lovebug. i adore you. |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| Random fact:I love you. |
| from evangeline06 : |
| haha! No don't worry, I'm not easily angered. It was just your opinion anyway, so how could I get mad at someone who speaks their mind!? ahh, anyways from the note you left me, it sounds like you really get me...heh, thanks for that...and yeah, I am 18, but I still live with mother, so that puts me in an awkward position, cause I won't have any place else to go other than with my father, and I kind of don't want to do that right now...and I have friends who would take me in until I had enough money saved, but I'd feel like such a burden, ya know? Well, thanks for understanding. I really wish I could get on more, but with mother watching my every move, it's kind of hard...So, how are you, what's new in your world? |
| from cheekyash : |
| yes danielle, cute. don't be shocked or defensive. everybody has their own opinions. and i just happen to be of the opinion that you're a very cute lass. maybe i don't think there really are that many ugly people in the world, but still, i wouldn't have said it if i didn't mean it. and as for the 'driftiness' and 'drunkenness'. i've no idea. i've always associated it with depression, i never really thought about it before. but maybe it is something else altogether, i dunno. i'm not able to focus these days, like i'm concentrating so hard that i see through what it was i was supposed to be looking at. and i can't remember things. like my mind is gone on vacation. and i say stupid things because they make sense when i'm like this. i do stupid things because i forget about repercussions. i become careless. i know it's in my head, i can feel it lift and i can feel it come back, like a really heavy blanket. i don't know, i've almost become accustomed to it. anyways, hope you feel that bit better sweetie. ~aisling~ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I hope you feel better sunshine. ♥ |
| from cat-45 : |
| nyeep. Thank you, very muchly(for not trying to bite me). I felt horrible. I hate it when my grandma compares me to Katie! grr. They always look at me like "Why can't you just be more like her? She's smart, skinny, has a good husband, and a good job." They don't understand that I don't want to be like her! I wanna be a bum! Ok I don't wanna be a bum, but I am not going to become a pharmacist like her just because she makes good money. I want to do something that I enjoy! I could..... Be a dentist, so I could remove your teeth and give you lots of drugs to make you go to happy-world land (you know, like on tiny toons????) at least until you feel better =) No I never liked the dentist when I was a kid. I used to tell my grandma I had to go to the bathroom right before we left, and I'd lock myself in there for about an hour, until it was impossible to make the appointment. =) I think i told you the story about biting the dentist didn't I? He got mad and wouldn't put the cap on my tooth. Dude, I was 5. He was this big scary guy with a freaking drill. You would've bit him too. nyeep.Think HAPPY THOUGHTS THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS! NYEEP! MCR is the best. Of course I'll think happy thoughts while listening to you, Gerard *wink wink* lol. jk jk. Unless you're gerard.... nyeep. So yes, calling you was my duty as a friend, as an ally (sp?), and as a patriot *cough* I mean anarchist *cough* But cheah. I chickened out of calling Gadge.... I really don't know what to say to him any more =( He's been gone for too long =(!!!! aaaaah! I MISS NATE!Stupid Avenged Sevenfold. Shut up. I don't want to hear you M Shadows. You remind me of Nate. Go away!!! *turns off speakers* nyeep. Assie. Otay. I gots to go. Toodles!!! =) ♥ Cat |
| from razornotes00 : |
| P.S Thank you for the e-mail you sent me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And stop worrying about it all, ok?!?!?!?!?! I. am. fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D I love you! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello Danielle!!! I've missed you so much! Ugh. So many people have left you lovely long notes, and grrr!!!!!! They're so nice!!! I want to kill them all... I wanna have nice dany notes like them :( AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't like farmers?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!??!!? what what what what what????????!!!!!!!!! I want to own a farm some day girly, and your going to visit too! :D Aww.. shit. I'm freaking stunned by the amount of people that are killing themselves. It's insane. All those people in Tennesse.. Geez. What a waste. They could have been something great huh? A few days ago, I was walking home, and thinking about all the people that had topped themselves at your school, and then I thought about how many our school's had. Since I've been there, no-one has done it that I've heard of, but then it was really weird. That day, a boy in year 11 or 12 had hung himself. I was shocked. It's a school wide suicide, huh? :S When I got home, I got thinking about hanging. I've nevr even thought of doing that. I always thought it didn't work. So I squeezed my hands tightly around my throate, and yeah.. It's now an open possibility :) Wait, that came out wrong :S lol I didn't mean it like that.. well, i did, but it's not like I'd do t, ever! Ya know? Anyway, sorry about that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oi, are you on holidays now??? Or still at school? huh? huh? huh??? Yes, my darling, I have had a crack at your angels diary. I did a few weeks ago. I haven't quite got all the pieces together yet, but i do like her writting! :D She does it beautifuly! :) Um, I spoke to Hales (if she didn't already tell you) and she pretty much told me all she told you, but I think there may be more to the story.. Maybe she's affraid to tell me :S I haven't replied to her e-mail yet. I don't know whether or not to go on about it more, or just leave it. What would you do? Hey, thatnk you so much for leaving me all the notes that you do!! :) It's so nice of you!!! You always leave me notes, even when I don't reply darnit!! You are the best friend in the HISTORY of history FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D I love you so much!!!!! My mum is on night shift tonight, so I may be back later, ok? I love you so much Dani!!!! ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| You do not need to shut up, your note was very sweet, and i like novels. You do not need to be sorry, Alexa, and yes she was my Girlfriend, leaving me is my fault, not yours. Yes, you mean a very lot to me, and whether you ever realize it or not, you are a truly unique person to me, you are very special, you are a Friend, you are sweet, and i think you can probably understand me better than anyone else can, becuase you also have 'friends' who talk to you, and i am very grateful for your Friendship, and honoured to be accepted as your Friend. Thank you so much for everything. For Georgia and for Haley you are doing everything you can, and you do not need to thank me for anything, becuase i am sure you already had it figured out. im sorry that i was so late in responding to that. i hope you have been doing ok these days, i know that the boy commiting suicide must be hard even if you didnt know him, it makes you think, i hope you are ok. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Sweet dreams. X (Hope your head feels better.... ♥ ) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Ah! WTF!? EVERYONE has AIM! Tell your Uncle to get a clue! THIS is the real world. Geeze. Is he stuck is 1955!? Dude! How are going to get your hair done!? I need a hair cut. My hair is so long. Usually I cut it myself. I hate hair stylists. With a passion. They try to talk to you, stick their nose in your buisness as if they care. Fucking pisses me off. I'm not PAYING you to talk to me. I'm paying you to CUT my fucking hair. I like to mess with them. :) Usually I just cut my own hair... Dude! YOUR SHOE? That's awesome. I tried a search for them before after I saw you were obsessed with them but it was all live shit and the quality sucked.. I'll try again though, K? K! Um. Dude! You just don't have to deal with writers block because your mind functions like a normal persons. I love writing... I just, sometimes there are no words and that frustrates me. Blah! I finally finished my entry. I only added a little bit.. it's still not as finished as I'd like, but it's not as an abrupt ending as before. Okay. I'm rambling again! Sorry! ♥ you! |
| from allredj : |
| Yeah Our preachers cool He makes alot a Jokes. Alot toward me and Wyatt. I likt that background its cool. You can call me tommorow for the Password ok. Did you read the poem in my entry I had? |
| from allredj : |
| I like church. HEY I went that Harvest fest also. I didnt see you there |
| from allredj : |
| CHURCH AND CLEAN YOU? |
| from venting101 : |
| haha those people are as follows: Guillaume was my exchange partner when I want to France in grade 9. Delphine is his girlfriend who I am also friends with...they weren't together when I was in France, but Guillaume was in love with her and they have been together for a while and it's great. The Brun Family is Guillaume's family, my host family. Annnnnnnd.....I think that's all I mentioned haha...but yes. You should definitely go on an exchange if you want to check France out, it's an amazing experience. I went once and now I'm hooked. It's been almost 7 years since I've been and I feel like it was yesterday. Money and school has held me away but finally I can go again! YAY! |
| from allredj : |
| I cant add a note to that Diary but that sucks we cant have a place to hang out.So what do u want to talk about? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| DUDE! Why aren't you allowed to have AIM? That makes me sad... :( I want to talk to you. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| No she hasn't. You can tell her I'm disappointed in her! I went though all the trouble of leaving her a note and she doesn't even bother to reply! Geeze! J/K!!! Everytime I go to leave you a note I forget what the hell you wrote you in your last note. And then I end up having to go back and reread. Um. Okay... you probably didn't need to know that. I can't post it yet!!!! It's an unfinished memory. I don't know. I just had a brain fart in the middle of it. And just the words stopped coming. Fuck! I hate when that happens. Fucking writers block. I swear! Is it sad that my life is so boring that I only have memories to write about? Hm. Um. No I don't think I've heard them. I'll do a search on Youtube. What's a good song? A don't say ANY! because I need a specific title... K? K! Right now I'm listening to Nine Inch Nails because they fucking rock my socks! Um. Dammit. There is something wrong with my head I swear. I love talking to you! But if I get annoying... just you know... tell me to shut up. Or whatever. I won't be offended. I promie. WEll, maybe a little but I'll get over it. Whoops! I'm rambling! ♥ |
| from allredj : |
| Ok Call me sometime and I will give it to u. Hey like I said we need to find a place we can all hang out at that would be awesome. That and I'm BORED |
| from allredj : |
| Its not Arse. Its Ass |
| from allredj : |
| Im doing good I hope fall break will be ok I wish school was tomorrow I want to see my friends Oh well.You know we need to find a place we can all hang out. Talk and stuff that would be fun. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| What are you listening to right now? I keep falling into the habit of leaving songs on repeat... I need something different to listen to. Suggestions? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| YOU called ME a skank. WHORE! um.... Danielle, you know I'm kidding. I love you in all of you slutty glory! I swear! JUST KIDDING!! Haha. Wait til you read my entry. You'll really think I'm a skank. Um. Wait. I'm so not. Um. It wasn't a recent dream. But yes. I told Xeison about it because he had a dream that he was ME. And he was asking me why he dreamt he was someone else. He said "most people don't dream they're someone else" And I said "most people don't dream that they're killing their mothers either..." Um yeah. I was trying to stab her with a butcher knife.... Aren't I the best little girl in the world? :) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| whatever slut. ;) um. so i wrote something. but it's not finished. i don't know. the words were flowing, then they came to abrupt hault. so i'm going to wait, try to finish it later... it nothing comes, i'll just post it as is. i can't ever finish my thoughts for some reason.... it pisses me off. i hope you don't get sick. being sick sucks! i actually DID have some soup. it was yummy. and low cal, so it's all good. :) um. dammit *tries to sort out thoughts* i ♥ you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell Cat I said... if she's going to ask for notes she should at least stick around and reply to them!!! K? K! |
| from allredj : |
| Sorry I am sorry. Thats funny though cause I was thinking the same thing. I'm sorry. Just cause I have Brittany doesnt mean your not my friend anymore. If that was the case that would mean I used you and I aint that kind of guy. That would make me a evil little....... I better not say the rest. And anyways why is it I have to come up to u and talk. If u wanted to talk why not come up to????? Well anyways Sorry |
| from thatgirlx : |
| hush. you're beautiful and i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see you every day, rather than noting you and pretending like i know you just because i read your diary. okay little miss popular? if you were disgusting you wouldn't have a girlfriend or a bazillon friends. okay? okay! um. 'Smack' is about these two kids (err... teens?) who runaway and get involved in the drug scene (with heroin) and other stuff. i read it A LONG time ago, so i don't remember much but it's by Melvin Burgess. pretty interesting. i've never done heroin. it's supposed to be super addictive. i used to do coke a lot... which was REALLY addictive, so i swore i'd never ever try heroin. it's not really popular around here either. other than that, i've tried pretty much everything. oh, except for acid... i was scared of that, too. i had a bad trip after eating magic mushrooms onces... and acid is basically the same thing, only more intense and longer... so yeah. i was like 'fuck that.' magic mushrooms + unstable mind = a disastor waiting to happen. just a warning. in case, you know you even have the urge to ingest magic mushrooms... er... DON'T. it's kind of cool... but then... eh. it's a long story. um. i can't remember what else i was supposed to reply to.. so if i left something out, i'm sorry!!!!!!! i'm sick and my head is all congested and it's hard to think right now. I LOVE YOU!!!!! ♥ |
| from cheekyash : |
| ramble all you must. or even all you want to. it's cute and somehow it makes me feel alive. god, today i've really drifted. i feel drunk and haven't been drinking. and i know i won't remember this when it's morning. it's such a shame to have a brain when it won't work. i imagine you're such a cute girl, whether or not you'd believe it. something about compassion makes people so beautiful. and you've got plenty of that it seems. keep breathing, it might be worth it ♥ |
| from xeison : |
| It is good that you like to talk, becuase i am shy, so it works well. You probably cant trust me, somehow no matter what i end up hurting everyone, im sorry. Angel thinks i keep her sane, she may think i am the one moving the mountains, but in the end, it always has been, always is, and always will be her, she is truly amazing, but to her, yes we are both delusional. You sound like a very amazing person too. Has that voice been coming back these days? i hope you are doing well. |
| from allredj : |
| Hey I aint mad. So how have you been?????? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| hey girly! how's your day going? i just read your entry, about the guy... *hugs* that is horrible. did you know him? it makes me sad to think that people can get to a point where they think that there only option is suicide. :( i've felt like before, just never been able to go through with it. and NO you are not disgusting. i don't care how much you weigh. you are a beautiful person inside and out and i love you! you're not disgusting, okay? okay! i'm glad you're enjoying your book. i always wanted to read that but never wanted anyone to see me with such a book... i bought the book 'smack' once and had to listen to a bazillion questions about why i'd want to read about heroin use. people are SO stupid. i'm addicted to books, i swear. i love getting lost in a good story. anyways, you're welcome! for explaining. there are bad side effects, too... like the jaw clenching and teeth grinding and... well i can't really think of any other bad side effects, at least not that I personally experienced. anyways! ♥ you! (and if you have any more questions, ask away, because i've experiments A LOT with different substances... :/) |
| from cat-45 : |
| nyeeeeeeeeeh!!! I might be able to talk my mommy into it.... I told her you liked our church a little.... You told me you did! Its not a lie! You said "I like your church better than those other churches. Its not so annoying." So nyeeeh! Gimme an hour or 2. I mean, i raked leaves and stuff today, I've been a good girl =D I'm about to go clean up my mess, so I'll call you at about 3:30...... ANSWER IT! ITS MEEEE! Or you callme either way. Text/ call/ walk over here/ do something. That'd be a long walk.... Welll, I'm going ot CLEAN clean clean clean clean. Toodles. |
| from cheekyash : |
| just ignore those comments. people who don't understand have these bullshit preconceptions about these things. about how they think it's weakness, or self inflicted and totally selfish. just forget them. life goes on darlin. |
| from cat-45 : |
| omg. He cut off his head!!! nooooooooooooo!!!!!! |
| from cat-45 : |
| Ha ha. I got that book THe Luckiest Girl in the World =) Deanna read it in like 2 hourse and saidI could read it over fall break. Its really really really really really really good. =) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| NU-arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! I didn't leave you a note because my nanna had already pulled up here. Stupid blind bat is always early! I smiled really big when I read that you made me something in art!!!!!! :D Thank you so much!!!! I can't wait to see it!!!!! :D Ha, I feel bad now.. What can I make you?? I could make you some popcorn, but it'd be stale when it gets to you :( lol I can't draw or paint.. What would you LIKE me to MAKE YOU!??!?!?!?!?!?! :D You listened to Faith Hill??? Ha, I have her album.. You need to listen to Tim McGuare (can't spell his name, sorry... Mc something anyway). Whoa, you don't do anything to your eyebrows?!?!? BUT THEY LOOK SO CLEAN AND PRETTY!!!!!!!! So they're are completely natural?? Whoa, that's cool! You're lucky to have prety eyebrows!!! :D Yes, Kate's mum thinks I'm gay, and NOW, Racheal is positive that I'm GAY!!! Because she read the thing in here that goes "gay/straight?" and I put "both" :-o Of all entries why did she need to read that one?!?! lol *covers face* Oh yeah, I didn't answer you question ages ago!! Um, well she doesn't HAVE a problem with us, she just thinks it's really weird.. a tad odd or something lol :P Um, I was thinking the other day when I saw that you asked for her password, that if she ever read your diaries.. she would um, probably do some of the stuff :( I'm not saying at ALL that your diary is a bad influence, coz duuude I love your diary!!!!! but i know her well and I know exactly what she do if she read it.. She really is a pure, clean, smart, funny, beautiful, SKINNY, and polite girl.. like, at school when she hears about people hurting themselves, she'll say stuff like "I may aswel do it, everyone else is" and stuff. Sh likes to fit in, but NOT in a wannabe way or anything lol :P GRRRR! I can say what i mean here!!! But if she asks for your passorwd, just bare in mind that she might get upset :( It's pretty full on for her, but maybe xxplaydeadxx would be ok :S I really don't know.. AHHHHH!!!!!! I hope all that didn't offend you, it's just I hate to see Racheal go down hill, and I hate for her to fel sad. I'm sorry if any of that pissed you off.. I really am. WHOA!!!!!!!!!!! Haley let you read my e-mail :) hahahahhaah! Cool banannas! lol, don't worry about it Dani, we already aggreed that y'all will be coming here.. Hayley said she has 5000 others that want to come too. But it's not a nice place where I live. Like it's nothing special. Not like you see in books and shit. Melbourne, Sydney, Darwin, Queensland, Victoria, Adeilaid, Taso and all the others (not including W.A) are the places where all the "cool" places are. The other day, Kate goes "I fucking hate Australia!! It's so ugly! Bloody honkie nuts everywhere! Everything is so dirty!" I was like :-0 but if she says that, then it must be true :S I was on the train the other day, thinking about where I could take you and show you around a bit :) Personaly, I lie it here, but it IS NOT flash or ANYTHING like that!!! I'm bit scared that y'all will think it's stupid over here compared to Tennesee. O well. Just don't tell me and I'll be fine LOL! WHOA!!!! You are gonna start a vampire freak!!!?!?!?!?!?!!? OMG! That's wikkid!!!! :D Kate has one of them too. I can't wait to see it!!!! I keep going on your myspace and trying to see your pics and stuff, but it doesn't let me in, but I still keep goin back... hoping that it will automaticaly make me a member lol :P Oh crap, nanna just called :( She's taking me out.. *cries* I don't want to go out Danielle! Save me! I hate people!!!!!!!!!!! Will you come with me???? :D I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| It's the best feeling in the world. They call it 'rolling'. And it's true to name, in both aspects. All these sensations, rolling through your body. You feel good, so good. In tune with yourself, with everything and everyone around you. You feel open, and words spill from your mouth. You can't stop talking or smiling or laughing. Music sounds amazing, touch feels incredible. All of your senses are amplified. You feel connected, alive. Beautiful. It doesn't matter what you're doing, who you're with, the moment is perfect. It's hard to explain, really. But it's my favorite drug. The come down and the days after suck though. You feel really cold, down. All of your serotonin is gone. You feel paranoid, empty. Basically, the next day you feel the exact opposite of how you felt when you were rolling. But yeah, it is dangerous. But not as dangerous as most. As long as you know what you're doing, what's in the pills, etc. But I'm glad you're not thinking about trying it. ♥ |
| from cheekyash : |
| dreams are so odd, one minute you're here, the next you're there, and sometimes 'there' is so much worse than 'here' even though it shouldn't be possible. and i can never understand how the stories in my dreams bear any significance to the story of my life, but whatever. i'm okay i guess, it's been one of those 'down' days where i've tried to keep my chin high up. you know how it goes. thanks for the ask though. how's your friday? |
| from cat-45 : |
| it was YOU! SOOO... I asked my mommy if you could come over and she sdaid no. So I asrgues with her for a while and got mad, said "OK BYE!" and hung up the phone =) She's probably mad =) yay me! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Haha! See! I knew there was something different with the spelling! I just couldn't quite place it. Thanks for clearing that up. I don't feel like a crazy person anymore. Um. I've done it... *thinks* probably like twenty times. I've done a lot of things... but I don't do that stuff anymore. I just drink now. At home, alone. It's better this way. Sometimes. Um! Dude! I LIKE that your templates are simple. I don't like over the top ones, they seem to distract from the writing, which is what should be the main focus of a diary anyway! You know? Um. How are you today? ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| hmm.. I see you've got quite a few notes now, from your Angel *sharpens knife..* ha.. hahahaha! Just kidding :) It's nice! OMG! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IS YOUR NEW LAY-OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those girls are so beautiful!!!!!! Like you and Haley :D I freaking want their eye brows!!!!!!! They're are the best looking eye brows EVER!!! :D *gets out wax strips*....no, I don't wax my eye brows!! But I could if I had something to wax!! :( What do you do to your eye brows?????? Cause you've got sexy eye brows too!!! :) I love you!!!! WHOA! :-O Haley's mum did what!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!??!?!?!!??!!? Stupid mole!!! Who would even THINK of telling someone like that anyway! So what if y'all sleep in the same bed!!!! I sleep in the same bed when my mates come around! Hell, I sleep in the same... wait.. never mind that :P I was Kate's house one time and were talking about her sleeping over, and I yelled "OMG! KATE!!!! I have a double bed and we can sleep together!!!!!!!!!!" then i made this REALLY REALLY! loud slurping sound, but it wasn't planned or anything, 'twas an accident :) And her mum came in and goes "WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?" and I said "oh, my mum renivated my room and I have a double bed now! :) Kate can sleep with me!" Ever since then, her mum is always... um.. lets say, slightly scared to let Kate come over often.. :S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO don't listen to all that crap! Just be who you wanna be and do what you wanna do!!!! Her mum has issues.. ha, and that's comming from me! :P She can't tare you two apart, you'll always be together.. Like Haley says "just two more years" then YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!!! Just keep on reminding yourself that! :D |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Okay... wait. You said Gage, Haley's brother... as in the same Gage who spilt your secret? The same Gage that Cat likes? Or are there two Gage's? Cause the spelling looks different, but maybe I'm just making something out of nothing. Um. Please clear this up for me. I'm REALLY confused. :/ That is terrible. I'm glad at least Haley has someone like you. Someone to remind her that she is NOT any of those things her mother says she is. Grr! That pisses me off. Some people, they don't THINK before they SPEAK. Fuckers. Um. I know I was waiting for her to say something stupid like that, too. About the infection. It actually... well, truthfully, it was from me doing X. It makes you grind your teeth and stuff. I took two pills. (Stupid, I know. AND they were laced with meth...) And I basically nawed the inside of my cheek hollow. Not one of my brightest moments. The doctor looked at me kind of weird, said "you grind your teeth?" i was like "uh.. i guess." I'm just not sure if it's because I've done too much X, or if it's just stress related or what. It makes my jaw hurt, though. I do it almost every night now. Why am I telling you all of this? I have no idea, sorry! But if was messed up for like two weeks! She gave some numbing stuff though, it was pretty cool. Hah. Um. That picture is perfect! Dude. I wish I could design templates. I have such kick ass ideas! Seriously! ♥ Can't wait to see the finished product. I love looking at your templates. They're fucking awesome. Okay. Shutting up now. I swear! ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Aw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was so sweet of you! Thank you! You really didn't have to. But it made me smile. And I LOVE it! And you. And the fact that it's pink and black. *hugs* I'm glad you feel strong! You ARE strong! And I'm glad you're feeling a little better, happier. You deserve it! I'm glad the pills are helping. Tell you uncle to shut the hell up. They're PRESCRIBED to you. It's not like you're taking random street drugs or other peoples prescriptions or anything. Geeze. I'm convinced Haley's mom got dropped on her head- several times- when she was a baby. I mean WTF!? is her problem. She must have a dirty mind, thinking that the only reason two people would ever sleep in the same bed is to have sex. I mean WTF!? Hasn't she ever heard of cuddling? Or just chilling? Or hanging out? What the fuck. I want to slap her. My Ex, his mom fucking hated me. He used to live here, with me. And she KNEW that. When we'd go to visit, she used to try to make sleep on the fucking couch. And finally he was like 'Uh... you know we sleep in the same bed... like every night.' Fucking cunt. She's like 'not under my roof.' She used to bitch about him being "too skinny." She was like "don't they ever feed you?" And she'd make rude comments about me all the time. Like once, I had this sore inside my mouth, from grinding my teeth at night. And when I smoked it stung so bad. So my ex and I we'd share cigs cause he knew it was painful for me. And she was like "what, you can't have your own?" to him. Fucking skank. And then to me she'd say "why aren't you eating?" I'm like LISTEN UP BITCH i have an infection INSIDE OF MY MOUTCH. I'm glad I don't have to deal with her shit anymore. Okay. That was long. Sorry! I ♥ you! (And if you read all that, I love you even more!) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| It's okay. I'll get over it. I'll find some other way to deal. I think I'd rather deal with the pain than their accusations and questions and pretend sympathy. ♥ you! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| OI! Talk to me! I know yuor on here.. I see you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| MAYBE I should, but I think too much when I lie down. I can't get any more Serax unless I go back to the asshole doctor that hates me. He thinks I'm a pill head or something. Because I refuse to go to physical therapy. "I can't just keep giving you pills to make the pain go away... they're supposed to be an aide, not a solution..." Why the fuck not? I'm NOT going to physical therapy. Fuck that. I don't like people touching me. I don't like strangers. Then the asshole was like "well, really, you need to consult a FAMILY doctor. It sounds like you might have some underlying issues" (as in anxiety) "that could be causing your muscle spasms" And because I go to the walk in clinic, they're all iffy about prescribing stuff. I've been on so much different shit. Because everytime I go each doctor thinks "oh this'll work better.." blah blah blah. They "don't do long term" You know? So everytime I run out I have to go back there so they can re-evalute me and make sure I still have fucking muscle spasms. As if I'd make it up. Hm. That turned into a bit or a rant. Sorry. |
| from billie--joe : |
| AHHH!!!!!! I'm sorry Damit if he was im going to be pied at him...ILOVEYOU♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| P.S. I'm glad Haley is okay. *hugs* |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Daniellllllllllle! I want an I ♥ you art thingy!!!! *pouts* It's okay. I'll forgive you. THIS TIME. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Oh, always. When am I not "down"? You get used to if after a while. Um. No more Serax. No more sleep. When I don't sleep, I lose all concept of time. Everything stalls to slow motion. It's really fucking freaky. Hard to explain. My head hurts. Pounding. Migraine. My eyes are burning. I feel like I should be crying, but I'm not. I haven't been eating really. Feel weak. A little dizzy. A little proud of myself. A little disgusting. Um. Does that answer your question? Because I could go on, but I don't think that's necessary. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| P.S. Remember when you were talking about that song 'Pain' by Three Days Grace? Yeah, that suck DOES kick ass. I'm listening to it right now. /Random boring tid bit of the day. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| That's all I get? Your SUPPOSED to say "A roadtrip would be fucking awesome!" Err... um. I'm not bossy, I swear. ;) What do you mean whats wrong? I'm confused. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Dude, I know! If I drove, I would totally drive my ass all the way to Tenn and kidnap you just so we go on... a roadtrip? I need a roadtrip, I think. I need to get AWAY from everything. A hug would be nice, too. :) ♥ |
| from cheekyash : |
| dreams where you wake up laughing, can i borrow one? must be an odd sensation. hey, i hope these things with your friends get sorted. but remember to look after yourself too. you can't help anybody if you're not here. |
| from xeison : |
| i was actually going to ask you anyways at some point, i just get really shy, so Angel did it for me. Thank you for being so kind and offering to be here, it is more than i deserve, but you have plenty of your own things to deal with. You should know that if you ever need to talk, you can always talk to me whenever you need. Yes, i was able to relate to your diary, thank you so much for allowing me to see it. As to what you said, it was all my fault, i was responcibile for all of it. i realize this is probably completely over direct, but may i ask, what you take Seroquel for? Schizophrenia, or something else? i am glad i can trust you, and i hope you can trust me too, thank you so much for everything. |
| from myonlyhope15 : |
| woah that's so creepy! during language arts I was thinking that I haven't spoken to you in a couple of weeks, and was going to leave you a message either today or tomorrow. haha. anyway, I am...numb. a lot of shit has gone down that I don't know how to put in words because all it is is echoes inside of my head and screaming and crying and it's all just really fucked. anyway, how are you? haha. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| *hugs* I just... I don't know. I feel like I'm fading. Fading away. And I can't stop it. I'm not sure what that means. I don't know. You have a lot on your plate already, don't worry about me. I'll be okay. Thank you for asking. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| :( I figured those were the two people. Hah. Sometimes I have smart moments. Um... *HUGS* Just let her (Haley) know that you are there for her, no matter what. (Which I'm sure she knows already anyways, but still...) Has she cut before, or is this the first time? And also let her know that if she gets the urge to cut again, that she should call you or write a letter (to you or whoever, she doesn't have to send it) or write about how she wants to cut, why she wants to cut, how she feels etc. That used to always help me. Um. And Georgia... well... :( That's sad, too. I think maybe you just need to give her a little time. Just let her know that you are there for her (which i'm sure SHE already knows, too.) And that when she is ready to talk about it that you'll be there to listen. But you can't rush her into something she is not ready to talk about, you know? With time, she'll confide in you, I'm sure. And you'll know the perfect thing to say, like always. But please... Danielle, it's not up to you to save anyone. There is only so much you can do. As long as you give them all you've got, there's nothing to beat yourself up over, okay? Because you're an amazing person, an amazing friend and I'm sure an amazing girlfriend to Haley. I mean, c'mon I read the entry about everyone wanting her and she picked YOU! That says a lot about you. I know you must feel really helpless right now, but you're not! Not at all. Everyone goes through rough times... and as long as they have you there with them, at least there will be a little bit of sunshine. :) Me? I'm... eh. I won't bore you with the details. Xeison, he was wondering about... "the voices." He asked me what you take Seroquel for... but I'm not exactly sure. ? He has DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) I don't know if you know what that is or not, but basically he has these "alters" that take over sometimes. It's really scary for him, the voices. He is terrified of them. Geeze, this is turning into a freaking novel. I'll shut up now. *BIG BIG HUGS* ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Well, sorry this note won't be long, but I'm running late for school! I hate school, ya know? Ok the first person you're worried about... :S Well just be there for her, help her understand that she really is worth something in this world.. Just hold her. It'll come naturally Danielle, you can't really plan it out, just do it :) And the second person is NOT hurting ok. I know so, she told me :P So don't worry about her. She'll talk to you when the time is right, ok? She promises she is ok. Now, as for not thinking it's ok to talk about "stuff" in your diary, well ok, that's fine :) But I ain't ya diary!!!!! You have to tell me!!!! PLEASE! I love you so much Danielle!!!!!!! Sweet dreams! XXX |
| from thatgirlx : |
| *HUGS* You're such a sweetheart. I'm sorry that there are people close to you that are hurting right now. But I just want you to know, that even if it doesn't seem like, just you being there, being a shoulder for them to lean on, that counts as SO much. Sometimes it's up to them to SAVE themselves, and as a friend, as a whatever you are to them, that's enough. Your encouragment, your kind words, the fact that you CARE that can carry people so far. Just keep doing what you're doing, okay? I'm sure they appreciate it more than you'll ever know! And yes, he did want to read it. He says you sound a lot like him, which is what I was thinking, too. That's why I wanted him to read it. He was wondering some things about you, and he asked me and then said "nevermind, i should probably ask her myself." So he'll probably be leaving you a note. I told him you wouldn't mind, that you LOVE notes. Anyways, I LOVE YOU! I'm sorry you're scared right now. Do you have any medication left at all? If not, you really should see your doctor and get it refilled... if the lack of meds is what is triggering this... that is. ♥ |
| from cheekyash : |
| aw thanks. hehe, i was the one dreaming of elephants last night. i woke up smiling after it, strange. yeah i'm alright thanks. the past few days have been less mundane, i've been good with that. i've been doing stuff instead of just being stuck here all day. it's nice. oh, how old are you? if you don't mind me asking. |
| from enurta : |
| thanks for believing in me <3 |
| from evangeline06 : |
| Ooops! Sorry, I finally got the damned thing to work! Don't mind the last note, I sent that hours ago. I figured out what was wrong...I had the caps lock on! hahaha! I am such a loser! *sighs* Sometimes, I wonder where my mind has gone!? Oh right! I still haven't read MANY of your entries yet, but never fear, I WILL read them ALL! lol! |
| from evangeline06 : |
| It's not letting me read your diary!!! The password worked last night!!! Did I do something wrong!?!? I'm a little confused and frustrated right now!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Ahhh! You are TOO CUTE! Cat posted pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah!!! I ♥ you!!!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Aw. Don't cry sweetie. *hugs* I didn't MAKE him read your diary. I think he was talking about cutting, about how he is so "fucked up." And I told him lots of people cut, it doesn't make him fucked up. And then I think I mentioned that you cut. (Because I told him about you before, about how you were so nice to me.) And that you're not fucked up. And he said "really?" And I said YES!!! So I told him your s/n. Would you mind giving him the password to your other diary, the "bad" diary? I think he might like to read that. I think it might help him to realize he's not the only one. Especially what you wrote today. I think he could really relate. You don't have to if you don't want to though. I know that one is a little more private to you. But I swear, he wanted to he was like "Okay, maybe I'll ask her for it" And I told him I didn't think you'd mind. And I made him turn his notes on! I made him get the diary, too. But excuse me! I remember a certain someone making Cat leave me a note and a certain someone GIVING me Cats PW without even ASKING!!! Ah! I ♥ you! Are you okay? You seem... a little lost right now. *hugs* |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Danielle! Can you teach me how to make a layout?! lol I'm very special and I don't know how. lol love ya girlie! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Moring babe, I love you :) Yesterday I didn't tell you that I'm VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY proud of you for making those WIKKID grades! They're heaps awsome! Was that the hightest in the class for geometry?? Duude, IIIIII think so! :) I wish I could be as smart as you!!!!!!!!! YAY! Cat found your pills!!!!! :D *gives cat high five* *gives you high five* Ok, so did you fall asleep because you like people playing with your hair, or 'cause you were really tired? lol my nanna falls asleep when I brush her hair :S Um, I love you so much Danielle. I REALLY DO!!!!!! :) I hope you have a fantastico day! SUUUUUUUUUUUUPER DUUUUUUUUUUUUUPER fantastico! I ♥ you! xxx |
| from allredj : |
| LOSER |
| from thatgirlx : |
| don't "um... whoa" me. i was really scared to post that. because i didn't want... certain people to read it. i don't mean that cutting is stupid. i hope that didn't offend you. it would just be a stupid thing for me have back in my life. um. okay. anyway, i saw you added my friend to your favorites. i told him and he was shocked. he's like "why would she add me?" so i showed him the quote you put up for him. i think you made his day. :) err... night. :) i told him you're a sweetheart. and made him ask for your password. ;) i told him he'd like you. because how could anyone NOT like you? ♥ |
| from cheekyash : |
| meh, the sinuses do this every now and again, i get over it as best i can. and congrats on two things :- firstly, not for going insane without your meds, and secondly, for the whole month anniversary thing (monthiversary??). hope today's okay |
| from evangeline06 : |
| hahaha! That is so not a problem! Not many people talk to me, so it'll be a nice change! And don't worry, I doubt you could annoy me, I don't let many things get to me! Well, I still have a lot to read! Bye! ~Evie |
| from xeison : |
| If it is ok for me to ask, may i know the password? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT! I am so NOT bossy. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| LMAO YOU DORK! I just saw the message you left on my other account! I am SO not pretty. I'm like... the opposite. thank you though. Again. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| wow. and i called YOU the note whore. *looks in mirror* maybe i meant me? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i don't think i deserve you. you're too cool for me. ;) um. dude! you can't have THREE diaries. er. well i guess you already do. i want a new s/n. lol. what ELSE is new, right? okay... um. i'm going to stop now before this turns into drunken ramblings. hm. maybe it already has. sorry! i just wanted to tell you i love you so much and i am so glad you are my friend! i don't know what i'd do without you! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i know. i fucking love that song!!! um. shut up! you're always confused! i'm ALLOWED to be confused once in a while. leave me alone! i love the writing style of that diary. love love love it. i love you! you CAN pick up the pieces! you CAN! i will HELP you. we'll pick up the pieces together. because believe me, i'l ALREADY shattered. um. did you like my forced smiles? those were SO not real, but I figured I should TRY to look like a normal person in my pictures and not some sad depressed freak of nature. did it work? um. okay, fine.. go to bed! see if i care! pfft. i'm all out of sleeping pills. ♥ you! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| you can't just give me a link and not EXPLAIN yourself! i'm confused! (wow, that's a shocker, isn't it usually the other way around!?) ;) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| what the hell is that? you're secret diary? are you hiding things from me? SHAME ON YOU. okay.. i'm off to read now. thank you darling. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| okay so you know that song 'Bother' by Stone Sour? There is a line in that song 'Diaries left with cryptic entries' I always thought that would make for a perfect template, like with a withered up peice of notebook paper or something.. do you get what i'm saying? i can picture it in my head but it's hard to explain. anyways... i know you do! and believe me, i am a total DORK. so we can we be dorks together but you're still MY dork dammit. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| You're such a dork!! But you're MY dork and I love you because you're AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So hah! See I'm you're Angel and you're my dork. Haha. Dude! I have like the best idea ever for a diary template. Except I'm retarded. And I can't do it. But if you're looking for suggestions... I have one. ;) |
| from evangeline06 : |
| Hello! I'm Evie. May I have your password please? I'd really like to read your journal. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| dude! i refuse to admit that. ;) um. i'm not 118 anymore. i'm 120 now. i fucking hate this number. it makes me sick. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it! but i loooooooooove you! and i left Cat a note to get her ASS is gear and get me my pics dammit! |
| from evangeline06 : |
| Hello! I'm Evie. May I have your password please? I'd really like to read your journal. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| LMAO! aw, i love you!!!!! ♥ but dammit! i still can't WRITE! i think i might just explode if i can't get my fucking thoughts down and out of my head soon. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| thanks, but now i'm convinced you're even more delusional than i thought. i did the first pic without any make-up, then i was like YIKES! and figured i should fix myself up a bit. not that it really made a difference... err... anyways. i hope you still love me. i was afraid.. well, i just... sometimes i think peoples opinions of me will change after they see what i look like... but i don't think you're one of those shallow people. so i hope it's all still good. ♥ YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| geeze! don't you check your notes!!! note whore. ;) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i hope you get that... if not, let me know. |
| from cheekyash : |
| my eye? hehe, it just felt like it had expanded to thirteen times it's normal size. it hadn't really, it just felt painful and bloated. it's just my sinuses i suspect, it's been happening a lot this past year. damn things. so anywho, how've you been missy? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Guess what I did today? I scanned myself.. er.. well, my face. But you'd better beg if you want to see the pictures. ;) ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| You like the second one and not the first one? The second one is shit compared to the original. I want you to watch that movie until your fucking eyes bleed and you're like "DAMN! That movie kicks serious ass!" Err... something. Ah! Now I want to watch that movie. Too bad I don't have it. DANIELLE!!! WTF? I thought maybe that was you. Bitchface? C'mon now. There's no need for name calling. You're prettyful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except that you can't see much. So get your ass in gear and post more pics!!!! ASAP. And I'll think about sending you one of me. Because guess what I did? I figured out the scanner. Too bad the only picture I have is fucking old (like at least three years old) and from Halloween. I have having my picture taken. ♥ you! sweet dreams. xo |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Dude. You're delusional. On so many levels. You bash one of the best movies ever than compliment me on my shitty writing. WHAT am I going to do with you? The thing is... I can't seem to THINK anymore. My mind is just this jumble of thoughts and I can't seem to sort anything out. It's driving me insane. And everyone keeps making stupid comments. And I wish they'd all just shut the fuck up. My dad said to me today, when I asked him if my wrist looked swollen "You need to put some meat on those bones." Fucking asshole. Yesterday he didn't even offer me any dinner. I don't know what the fuck he wants from me. I really don't. One seconds he's telling me I eat too much, that if I keep eating at this rate I'm going to end up looking like him, and the next he's making fun of me, saying I need to gain weight. For some reason, when I'm leaving you notes, I seem to be able to say everything I need to say but when I'm staring at the blank white box trying to write an entry, my mind just goes blank. Hm. Maybe I should write my entries here from now on and then instead of leaving them as notes just post them on my diary. Hm. I'm rambling. Sorry. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Huh? Oh "Dani-shit..." Well, it's the same as Dani-pooh *does cute little girl face* :( Grr. I promise I won't say it again, or write it :P *holds out pinky. says "take my STRONG hand!!!"* LOL have you seen that movie??? Scary Movie...2 I think?? WTF!!!!!!!!! You don't like SAW!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Bad bad bad bad bad!!!!! You have to like it! BOTH OF THEM too!!!! They're awsome and oh-so clever :) It made me laugh!! Oi, how come you haven't replied to my notes yet!?!? :( I mean, just because I'm too stupid and lazy to do it, doesn't mean you have to do it back to me... :P I LOVE YOU!!!! Have ya checked your e-mails yet?!?!?!?!?!?!!??! huh? huh? huh? I sent lotsa pretty pictures of ma garden and the damn and shit :) I love you! Um, I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hmm.. What else was I gunna say?? Um... OH YEAH!! The stuff about you+church+god... Well it's ok that you don't believe Dani :) I don't judge you for it, you're still you, you're still the gal I'm in love with, so it doesn't matter who and what you do and don't believe in to me :) But, if y'all don't like going to church, why do you gutta go?? Um, well I hope you update x-razor-x sooooooooooooooooooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you! :D ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I know! That's why I love it so much. It makes you think. It freaks the fuck out of you. Could you imagine? I saw it in the theatre. Afterwards I had fucking chills. (Excuse my language, I realize I use the F word too much. I'm working on it.) Um. I'm sorry I confused you. I think I forgot how to write. Or how to think. Or something. All that ever comes out anymore is nonsense. I'm working on that, too. Um. I forgot what I was gonna say... oh yeah. I ♥ you! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| P.S. Why did you HAVE to go to church? That's bogus. Fuck church. & Fuck being brainwashed. Fucking religious cults. Seriously. I'll never understand. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| You don't like the movie Saw!? WTF is wrong with you? Seriously, you need to get your head checked. That is one of my all time favorite movies EVER. Um. So maybe I'm a little demented... but ANYWAYS! Of course you're confused. It didn't make any sense. Except maybe to me. And one other person. I felt bad, because I didn't want him to see it. He probably already did, but I'm hoping he didn't. I just needed to get it out. Um... my friend, the one I told you about, he kept saying how he's so stupid and I'm so smart, so I took one of those intelligence tests and I fucking failed miserably. I'm "below average." He got every single question right, he's a "genius." I knew that would happen. I just wanted to prove my point. I'm really fucking stupid. Like.. REALLY stupid. I don't know. So I was rambling about that, and then it reminded my of how when I used to do my homework, my brother would laugh and call me stupid because I didn't understand anything. I used to get so upset, and I'd just start crying, because he made it look so easy, but I just didn't GET it. I always thought he was just being an ass. But he was right. I AM stupid. I don't know if I ever told you this, but I dropped out of school when I was in the eleventh grade- partly because of that (I was too stupid) and partly because... well, nevermind. There's too many reasons to list. Um. Anyways... don't mind me. I'm just... ah! I'll try to write something halfway understandable next time. Okay? *hugs* |
| from cheekyash : |
| i do appreciate everything, really i do. right now i'm tired and demotivated, but i promise to note you like crazy once i can open my eyes more than halfway again. thanks sweetness. you're a total star |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Well he exists Dani-shit! I wish you all the best with your personal competition with God :P I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How are you today????? Huh? huh? You seem very quiet.. I love you. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| *hugs* I feel the same way. If "god" exists, why is he/she such a fucking asshole? I mean... damn. I just don't really get why people devote their entire lifes to this perception of "god" when really, if you think about it, there's nothing appealing about him. Anyways, I &hearts you! Are you okay today? |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| Just everything.It all is so touching because it makes me think & know how people feel now. I know people say they care and dont want you doing things but it all sounds like bullshit until i read what you said about it. i<3you sweetie |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| i am crying so hard right now. ill never do that to you or anyone else for that matter. I LOVE YOU & im so sorry <333 |
| from thatgirlx : |
| aw, Danielle. *hugs* that is so sad. but at least is can help to open up peoples eyes, show them the reality of what suicide is. still... :( i remember when i was in school, this guy i knew, he was really nice, not really a "friend" but an acquiantance. he accidently hung himself, trying to play a prank on his sisters. or.. at least that's what the authorities and everyone else said. i'm not sure i've ever believed it. not that it really matters... :( it was such a shock. like you never even thought such a tragedy would occur so close to home. a week later another boy, another acquaitance died. he was in a car wreck. but still... it was like bam, bam. one after another. the really freaky thing was that in the yearbook, their pictures were directly above and below each other. for a while there, i had this sick feeling in my stomach, like death had a plan and i knew who was next. luckily, it didn't play it out that way. i don't know why i'm telling you all of this... just, your entry sort of triggered those memories, of seeing the mouners spilling their tears in the hallways, special classrooms reserved for group "therapy." it was a really rough couple of months. :( anyways, *hugs* i hope you're doing okay. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from cat-45 : |
| Dude. My mom got the password to my myspace through my email. Then she deleted it. It was in my trash folder. How shitty is that? Goin through your kid's email just to be nosey! GODDAMMIT! THAT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF! I wanna punch her! She keeps asking me stupid questions. About Jake. I told her I barely knew him and she still insists on asking me about his life's story! And she wouldn't let Gadge come over tonight! My mom and his mom have similar brains. Seriously. They do. Do you mind if I copy some of what you wrote about Jake in your diary? Cause you put it prettier than I could. lol. I'm glad Megan talked you out of it. Where would I be today without you? Sheesh I'd be a freaking prep. Well, call me later, k? You know if you WANT to. I gotta go change everything about my diaries now, Treace out! ♥ Cat |
| from cheekyash : |
| aww sweetie you're not annoying me at all. honestly. i'm sorry it seems that way, i guess i could be a lot more enthusiastic. it's hard i guess. sorry though, i really do love your little notes and the fact that you actually seem to care. you're a true sweetheart. thanks x |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Hello! :) I love you! Tell Aunty Kim that it is FINE!!!!!! Lol tell her to stop worrying about it. I know it's tough for her at the moment, and I can wait forever. It's ok! :) That song "I'll be" reminds me of you and Haley. I dunno why though :S Oh.. Ok, you liked my entry?? You're a freak then. But thank you for understanding. I was really worried about it last night, but I couldn't come back on here to delete it 'cause mum was up :( I'm banned from here lol, did I tell you?? YESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got your e-mail! I just saw it!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much! I love you man!!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I'll reply to it when I get home from work, ok? Which will be tonight ok? :) I love you! Ha, I remember a few years ago, Justin Timberlake had a clip out and he did a lot of Jacko's moves... Yeah.. No point to that comment, but meh! :P I love you. Yep yep! Tired of hearing it yet? :P Whoa. What did your buddy say about you and Haley???? Do you reckon she'll tell someone, or is she a GOOOOOOD friend??? Huh? huh? huh? Well, last night I DID end up reading your other entries but I still couldn't figure out what it was that i wanted to ask you :S Hmmm.. Oh well, maybe it'll come to me in a time where I don't need to know! :) That usually happens. Anyway, I shall go have a shower now. I love you so much Danielle. Thank you for everything you've done for me. Thank you for not waking up and being someone else :) I love you so much. xxxx |
| from cat-45 : |
| dude. I just now got all those notes. WTF??? I think my mom;s been in my email account again! aaaaaaah! I need a new one. OK fix my song. I'll myspace you the password. I trust you! =) Kinda... lol. I gotsta go to bed. Nighty night. |
| from beatnbroken : |
| I'm just confused! And I've been in such a bad mood lately, everyone is just annoying me. I know that sounds harsh but I'm realizing that my best friend is a shitty friend and I just wanna stop talking to her...She is so wrapped up in herself, when I try to tell her something serious because I need someone to talk to she just changes it back to herself and makes everything about her. Not that I don't love her but I get irritated. And Cass doesn't trust me, which bugs me. He thinks I want all these other guys and just a bunch of crap. And okay I'm telling you this even though I haven't told anyone else, especially not my best friend, but he's not a virgin and I don't know who he had sex with, it was only one person but i'm too scared to ask. Stupid I know! We live in such a small town and we know everyone and that's what makes it so bad. I think it mighta been his ex Auna or some other girl Sierra but I have no clue and I don't know if I wanna know. It's just bugging me and i'm in a horrible mood! I just want to move away Danielle! Anyway I'm sorry for this long and pointless note filled with my misery. Oh and detention was just great today! gah! anyway thank you so much. Love you! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| you're funny. um. okay. so it's written in a weird perspective, but it's about me, being in the car getting screamed at by my mom and dad and me just feeling like jumping out, just to get away from them. because i can't take it anymore. but then we're home and i just want to go inside and just get away from them but in my rush i slipped on the ice and then my mom made that stupid ass comment. like it would just be better if i were dead. or something. does that help? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i'm confused now too. i have no idea what the hell that meant. um. the entry? er... what part confused you? sorry. i know. it all makes sense in my head when i write, but people never know what the fuck i'm talking about. it's okay. i write weird. i like to leave a little mystery. ;) um.. anyways, ask away and i'll try to clear whatever it is up for you. okay? ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Hello Danielle. I love you :) I love your lay-out. And I fooooooooken love the song you have on right now!!!!!! He's got a beautiful husky voice. He kinda sounds like Nickelback. I like that band :) YAY!!!!! YOU LIKE SEXY BACK TOO!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :D I've never been one to like Justin Timberlake, but I DO like that song!!! Couple of others are alright too :) I love you so much Danielle, just thought I'd let you know... Dude, you day sounded real shitty :( Can I join your crew on that one?? I really hope you have a great day at school tomorrow though!! I want you to come tyo my school!!!! Actually, you'd hate it here, so I'll come to yours!!!!!! Yours looks pretty. Sounds like there's lotsa people there that I could bash up.... *strokes baseball bat like a little kitten* :P I need to go back and read your other entries in a minuite, 'cause the other day when I read them,there was something I wanted to ask you about it.. But I don't remember :S I love you!!!! Duuuude, I am so pissed at your nightmares!!!!!!!!! I'm sick and tired of them scaring you all the time! I really want to kill them. I want them to leave you the hell alone for once, man!!!! They're evil and yeah... I want them to leave you alone. I don't know why they're being so mean to you :( Can anything be done about it?? Like, something, or anything?? Can I help you?? Oh shit! That would just give you more nightmares!! Moving on... Can you give Little Megan a kiss on the forehead and a cuddle for me please?? And tell her that I hope she feels better soon :) I love you Danielle! I really do. I'm so happy that I've got you in my life. I'd do anything for you, ya know. I love you so much. I miss you... Never met you but I miss ya so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Don't ever leave me, 'cause I'll find YOU!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha! I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from cheekyash : |
| it's just stuff. unfortunately, stuff hurts sometimes. that's all. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| hola! so my spanish is sort of sketchy, but um.. you don't like that very much? tough shit! ;) haha. just kidding. i'm here. i'm just too fucking tired to even attempt an entry today. today was one of those never ending, wish it never even started kind of days. but i'm okay. i think. i'm right there with you with the whole bagind your head against the wall thing. i actually do that quite frequently. :/ um. anyways... besides all that... how are you doing? okay i hope. scratch that. WONDERFUL i hope. ♥ (i'll update tomorrow. i promise. even if i'm fucking exhausted and nothing intelligent comes out. just for YOU!) ♥ |
| from cheekyash : |
| yeah i'm okay i guess. days like today. you know, mediocre days. bad days. regular days. normal days. all the same. after a good day, they seem so much worse than they would have if there hadn't been that fall from good to, well, normal. if that makes any sense at all. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| thanks sweetness. ♥ that was like, the quickest reply in the histoy of replies. or something. :) i'm glad you had another good day. i'm glad you FELT good today. i hope things are starting to look up for you. i really, really, do. i'm... okay, i guess. a little lost. or maybe a lot lost. i haven't decided yet. ♥ you! have a wonderful night. ♥ |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| babygirl i neeed your password<3 i love you :] |
| from venting101 : |
| Happy Happy Day :) Your entry made me tr�s happy! Keep up the good mood dude! loves it! <3 |
| from billie--joe : |
| i am not you loser!!!!! |
| from pamperedpuma : |
| "If you loved me, you'd be here with me". Where is that from???? I know it, but I can't think and it's driving me mad!! Grrrrrrr!!! Cxx |
| from thatgirlx : |
| thanks. :) i know you do. it was really embarrassing though. i felt like all those animals, locked away in cages at the zoo must feel. at least she didn't push dinner. actually, she never even mentioned it, never even offered it. i was sort of glad. i'm used to that. okay ♥ you! hope you had a good day today. *hugs* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I did SO read your diary to Haley thank you very much!!! Remember?!?!?!?!?!? That's where I looked at all your lay-outs and instructions! SNOB!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you!!! :) |
| from getinline : |
| Yay!! I want to be a psychologist, too!! At least I'm not the only "crazy" one, haha :) I'm glad you had a good day!! I hope they just get better and better. |
| from billie--joe : |
| its photo you retard!!! I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Ahhh! I am so glad you had a good day. :) That makes me happy. I think you would be a great physcologist! It was really weird, because I was reading your entry, and when I got to the part about what you want to be when you 'grow up' I was like holy shit! Last night, I was talking to my 'brother' and I had never told him that I want to be either a social worker or a counselor/physcologist and out of the blue he just goes 'i think you would do really well in a profession such as...' and he said those things! I think we were talking about how I think I'm stupid, be he said ' you know about eating disorders, anxiety, depression, substance abuse, etc.' and i didn't understand the relevance because i mean, who really cares if you know about that stuff? not most people. But then he said 'you could really help people because you'd actually understand you know, most of those people they just study it and read books and everything, but you've LIVED it.' Hah. But that requires lots of school, so it's sort of out of my league, but hey, you should go for it!!!! Anyway, my day was... uneventful? Just layed around basically... I don't have any energy lately. :/ |
| from billie--joe : |
| weehooo i finally got to read your entry well part of ti yes ok your probably going to be pised at me but im sorry i thought you had unlocked it im so sorry im telling the truth im very sorry but anyways bout the entry yesterday ok you are NOT FAT OR UGLY ok i wish you could see wat me and everyone else sees ok i wouldnt want you tto change you are very pretty and a HOT PRETTY goth no twell watever its called you no wat im talking bout but anyways yeah ok so you better shut up or im going to stick that bannanadown your throut ok do you understand (you-yes drill sergeant)he he I♥YOU DANIELLE ok and you are a very smart pretty somewat crazy best cousin-sister in the world!!!!!!!!! ok bout the other entry ok yes you can to draw you skank gosh and you no itlok (you-ok)and thanxx thats makes me feel good that you no that i would never do that ok i love you very much you are like my sister you and Geargia are my sisters and always will be and bout wat your telling me now tell her to stick it up her ASS!!!!!!!ok(you-ok) aww thnk you for th ekiss and well i guess that will be all for now no wat ha ha ok now its over I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU I♥YOU |
| from enurta : |
| i don't know what i would do without you <3 |
| from thatgirlx : |
| pffffffffffffffffft. didn't you tell her "i'm talking to my angel!" i'm so glad you found me. i'm so glad i met you. you are truly one of a kind. ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| see? now THATS what i'm talking about. your day is going to kick SO MUCH ASS tomorrow! it's like, i almost wish i could be there, except i wouldn't want to ruin your make believe perception of me. because you would surely be disappointed. but. um. i LOVE diaryland!!! and you! some of the people here are just SO sweet. at first i didn't like Dland. I missed Diary-X because I had a lot of friends there. but now I feel like maybe i am starting to find my place here. which is nice. and i have YOU to thank for that, little miss FIRST READER & NOTE LEAVER EXTRAORDINAIRE!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| bring it on!!! i'm a good arguer. er.. just kidding. ;) i'm just kinda here, too. i mean. yeah. exactly. and i hate that you feel that way, but it's nice to know i'm not the only one. i'm sorry. that probably came out wrong. er. i love you! and hey, tomorrow is a brand new week, brand new opportunities... and i have a feeling.. i have a feeling you're going to have a good week. so don't dissapoint me!!! ok? just kidding. ;) but i hope your week fucking rocks. hard core. &heart; ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| *hugs* i don't think you're disgusting. not at all. i LOVE you. you are amazing. i KNOW you're beautiful on the inside, SO beautiful, that it shines all the way through, casting ray after ray of sunlight on the outside. so even though you can't see what everyone else sees, believe me when i say that it IS there. your beauty isn't just skin deep. it's your personality, your heart, your kindness towards other. it's a combination of so many things. i've heard so many girls claim 'i'm so ugly' and i just kind of stare at them in disbelief, like 'are you seeing the same person i'm seeing?' but of course, they can't. because you're always most critical of yourself, always picking apart yourself, noticing your 'flaws' and nothing else. but you don't do that with other people. so it's a little off balance, if you think about it. comparing the flawed version of yourself of the most beautiful traits of others. um.. i'm not really sure where i'm going with this, but i hope you get the point i'm trying to make. if not, i'm sorry, i've been having a bit of trouble with words lately... :/ are you okay? ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| dude! i know exactly what you mean. about needing to be comforted. sometimes when i'm really upset about something, i'll eat, just so that i can obsess about something OTHER than what i'm already obsessing over. you know what i mean? to sort of block out the unwanted feelings... er.. yeah. you didn't make me upset. that little rant was sort of directed at someone else, someone i wish i could have went off on, but i'm too nice to do that, so i just vented to you. hope that's okay. i don't mind telling my weight... i am 118lbs and i am 5'6. and i'm not lying. i promise. because you're my friend and i would never ever lie to you. got that? um. anyway.. how about you? (and like you said, if you don't want to tell me, i totally understand.) i hope you're okay today. *hugs* ♥ |
| from cheekyash : |
| well when you like a diary and want to read it as it's updated, if you add it to your favourites, the site automatically lets you know they've updated. you already knew that, but that's the reason i added you. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| ok. so i KNOW i don't NEED to lose weight. i mean i KNOW. i've been told by anyone and everyone. they just don't fucking GET it. they keep telling me over and over, you're skinny, you're so skinny. but i don't SEE it. i mean, i know, i know. don't they KNOW i know? someone asked me the other day (an online someone) he asked me "so, are you fat, or do you just think you are?" i didn't know how to respond. i told him how much i weigh and my height. he responded "well, you know your BMI is 19. that's on the low side of normal. you're skinny. you need to go out and by yourself a cheeseburger. and eat the whole thing." like it's just that fucking easy. i look in the mirror, and i'm disgusted with myself. nothing looks the way it's supposed to. and then, of course, there's the whole... well, let's just say it's not all about the weight with me. it stems from something much deeper. basically, i don't believe i deserve food. because of some stuff that happened in the past. that's how this all began. the weight thing just sort of.. well, that was after. along with the need for 'control.' and then it all kind of swirled out of control... how about you? i know it's different for everyone... if you want to talk about it.. you know... ♥ you're the greatest. i give you major kudos for taking the time to read through all of my long ass notes. it means a lot to me. ♥ (p.s. i'm off to bed now, but i ♥ you! sweet dreams. xo.) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| "maybe we're just not into shoveling food into our mouths in front of a lot of people." LMAO. exactly. one of these days, i'm going to say that. and i'm just going to love watching their faces contort into fucking confusion like "what? what did you just say?" assholes. no. it's not just him. it's... everything? work sucked ass. home sucks ass. i dropped a plate. and it fucking shattered into little peices all over the place. and he didn't say anything, but i could tell he was fucking disappointed in me and my stupidity. i think it was a sign i wasn't supposed to eat. but i did anyway. i wasn't even hungry. i just... sometimes, when i feel empty, i fill myself with food. just so i can have something to fucking bitch about. so i can feel something. even it's just hatred and dissapointment in myself. does that make sense? like... i'm sort of part anorexic, part compulsive over-eater. which is a REALLY fucked up combination. i haven't lost weight in forever. i keep flucating between three and four pounds. up, down, up, down. and i just want to fucking go DOWN, but i SUCK at this. sometimes i don't think i have a justifiable eating disorder. because i think overall, my over eating makes up for my lack there of previous weeks. but i know this isn't normal. so i don't know. *sigh* wow, i'm just totally rambly today. i think it's my lack of being able to write. i have so much to get out, but it just won't COME out. wow. okay. sorry about that. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| yes, you did help. :) like always. hm. i could have swore i left you a note that said almost the same thing... so i'll try not to talk about that in your notes since someone is obvioulsy being NOSY!! i'm sorry if any of the things i said maybe tipped her off to getting strange ideas in her head about you. you're right, it IS your buisness, but i'm sure she just really cares about you and wants to make sure that you are okay. but still, i understand how you feel. today, someone said to me "i NEVER see you eat." i'm like, hello? look at me. obviously i fucking eat. mind your buisness. only not in so many words... :/ i've been eating entirely too much food lately. half the time i'm not in hungry. it's driving me insane. *sigh* and really, i mean, even if she watches you, even if she doesn't see you eat, or whatever, it's not proof of anything. i don't understand why all of a sudden everyone needs some fucking validation to something so obvious. oops. okay. so that turned into a bit of rant... sorry. i'm having a bad day. ♥ you bunches!!!!!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| you always know just the right thing to say. ♥ i do tell him, everyday, that he means the world to me and that he keeps me sane, and that without him i don't know what i'd do, but apparently that isn't enough. he helps me SO much, he just doesn't want to believe it. because he thinks he hurts everyone. :( and i know i shouldn't let this get to me, but i can't help it. he thinks he is a burden on me, but i think it's more of the other way around. i am the burden. anyway, thank you so much for listening and helping me sort out my head. i really appreciate it. ♥ ♥ ♥ is there anything you need to talk about right now? anything at all... ? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| because he now feels responsible for me. like it's up to him to save me. like it's his fault i'm so fucked up. but i've been like this... ever since i can remember. "i have once again rediscovered that i am useless and a waste of existance" BECAUSE OF ME. fuck. look what i've done. i've contaminated another. :( |
| from thatgirlx : |
| eh.. yeah... it fucking sucks, doesn't it? do you remember that guy i was telling you about? the one who calls me his sister? he made a diary (xeison) and i read his first entry, and i just started bawling. i thought i could help him, but i just fucking made it all worse. fuck. fuck. fuck. i suck. stupid, stupid me. i hope you're okay. ♥ you! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I know, I know. It's like it helps as much as it hurts, and there is no inbetween. But it's SOMETHING. Something to hold on to, something to use ammunition, as punishment, as reward. Against/for yourself. Or maybe that's just me... :/ Eh. ♥ you! And I hope the rest of night is good to you. SMILE! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) |
| from xxsorrowxx : |
| I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!That's a whole lotta love.... |
| from cheekyash : |
| thank you. and there really shouldn't be any need to put yourself down here, you're hardly stupid :) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I'm sorry you had a shitty day. :( But I AM glad to hear you've eaten. That makes me happy. I hope you keep it up. I'm feeling a little better today, still kind of out of it, but at least my stomachs not in knots anymore. ♥ Happy layout making. ;) |
| from enurta : |
| i promise i won't go away. i have N and my kitties to think about! if i disappear, who will take care of them? i'm always going to be here, don't worry <3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| hello sweetie! Thank God they broke up! Stupid freaks thought they could get away with it!!! lol ANNNNNNNND Thank GOD you had a happy day! You soooooooooooooooooo deserve it honey! :D I LOVE YOU! OMG! You're gunna tell your doc that your meds aren't working!?!? YIPPI! *mumbles "finally!"* :P Why do you need to tell Anty Kimmy? Can't y'all just talk about it when you see him? And one more thing, how come you see your doc with Aunty Kim? Ok, sorry about all the questions!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i'm glad you had a good day. you deserve a million more, plus some. ;) as for me... i feel like shit, like there are a million angry red ants marching though my stomach. my head is pounding and i think maybe i have a fever, but oddly enough i'm freezing. and i hope like hell i'm not coming down with something because now is NOT the time. anyways, ♥ you!!! and i'm crossing my fingers for you with the whole megan thing. maybe your mom can talk some sense into the judge and convince him/her to let her stay here. ok... i'd better go lie down now before i pass out. take care of yourself, okay? *hugs* |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Hey! I'm sooooo happy you had a good day. I kinda did too, the end was the best part! Thanks for the notes lately too! :-D Anyway I hope tomorrow is even better for you! Love ya girl! |
| from venting101 : |
| Aw I'm so glad you had such a good day =D |
| from cheekyash : |
| i love the tone of your writing, it's just like you're chatting away. it'll take a while for me to get in on all the names though. have a great day love. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Back. Dude! What the #$&# is Walmart!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!? OMG! You mum is over today!???! And your brother too?!!?!? WHOA! What did you and your brother talk about?? Oh, hoolie doolie! Mum is going crazy.. I have to go.. I love you! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Um. Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D Underneath me is my mate/girlfriend lol from school. We hang out together n stuff. Yeah, she's nice when ya get to know her, but yeah... I forgott what i was gunna tell you.. brb |
| from x--glory--x : |
| sorry bout sending the notes to the wrong person it was meant for geargia but i'll talk later got to go... bye |
| from thatgirlx : |
| hey, it's okay. you don't have to apologize. i know you've got a lot going on right now. and i wish like hell i had the perfect words to make everything okay, but i don't. and that sucks so bad. but i ♥ you, and i'm glad you were able to keep something down. that's progress. don't give up, okay? i'm so so so so so so so PROUD of you. even if YOU aren't proud of you. enjoy your new CD. :) sweet dreams. ♥ |
| from cheekyash : |
| done and done. and thank you ♥ |
| from yourjealous : |
| haha no no you don't annoy me with questions! sorry for boring you to death with hella long entries! i was in a writing mood I guess! Cory's here for a couple days so I probably won't update or be on...oh but after I shall return! Hope the rest of your week is fab...yeah...i said it...FAB! |
| from cheekyash : |
| hey. i've been meaning for so long to check your diary out. i've seen your name so many times, it's indented in my head, but i've never actually gone and done anything about it. so i'm just curious as to whether or not you'd send me a username/password? it's alright if not, i realise this might seem weird. [email protected] |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yes thatgirlx, Danielle is beautiful beyond everything. Hi Dani-pooh! Sorry I haven't left you notes in a while. Things have been rather, um, screwed up lately. But it will get better and soon I'll be sane enough to leave you lovely long notes again. I've caught up on your entries and all.. *tear* I love you dammit! Hales digs you man!!!!!!!!! She's not gunna go for some duuuuude who doesn't want anything but a quick fuck. She's not that stupid. She knows she's got it going good with you so why would she not want it??? Huh? Huh? huh? Ya know how you said hat you don't need to be fixed 'cause you're not broken?? Well, dude, you said I was broken and we could fix me. So how am I "broken" if you aren't? Ok, that makes no scence, sorry. HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHA!! The Cd you want is out here before it is over near you!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahahahahha! Ooops, sorry. I gutst a short attention span today *looks at ceiling* Where was I? Umm.. Did you get my e-mail btw?? BOTH of 'em? I never save the ones I send so don't make me type it all out again!!!!!!! I don't like typing!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! And WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO YOUR PROFILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????????? You are NOT nothing you freaking Cannon County SNOBBBBBBBBB! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! Eveeeeeeee's ON the radio! Ok, sorry, again. Umm.. Hey, guess what?? I love you. And even though I had another scary dream about you telling me that we're not ment to, like.. "know eachother" or whatever, I'm still fighting it and I will meet you. And I will never let you out of my sight. You will be chained and you'll have a curfue! Mk? GOOOOD. *cries* I'm sick of all these stupid people that leave you notes. Stupid assies. They're gunna regret it!! Oi, what's your accent like?? Probally snob talk, eh? :P I love you Danielle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ♥ you for eva! |
| from x--glory--x : |
| ****luv ya**** |
| from x--glory--x : |
| hey, before i forget wat time will we meet at the traino? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| aw. i bet you're beeeyoooteeeeful! and i know it's hard not to worry what people think of you, but if people are going to be that shallow where they judge you solely based on your appearance... well then FUCK them. because they SUCK. you don't have to post a pic if you don't want to, but i'd love to see what you look like. maybe if i can figure out how to scan a pic of myself, i will and i'll show it to you, and then YOU can see why i dislike ME so much. but don't count on it because i'm seriously computer challenged. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| *HUGS* i like that my eyes are green. and that i am brunette. beyond that... :/ eh. what do you like about yourself? (and you'd better not say nothing or I will murder you!) ♥ sleep well. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i ♥ you!!! and yes, he has. i feel so bad for him, for all the things he has had to go through. it breaks my heart. i hope you're okay. i know it's hard to eat, but don't give up, okay? baby steps, remember? i'm sort of caught between wanting to get better and... well wanting the number on the scale to drop. :/ i don't know what the fuck i want anymore. |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Hiya! When you asked who was it..do you mean who was making me feel like crap. Because it was Cass. But before he called me naive and said I believed anything anyone said he told me that he was really lucky. And that he freaks out sometimes because he thinks I'm leaving. Gah... Ya so I'm just all sorts of confused and overwhelmed, how are you doing sweetie? Love ya bunches! |
| from yourjealous : |
| holy effing hell that's the longest diary i have ever posted. you may need to read it in two sittings hahahahaha i'm pooped after that one.. i'll answer your questions later :) g'night! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| It was his younger sister... they were living on the steets at the time, and she died from lack of nurishment. She was only seven at the time. His father was an abusive alcoholic and he watched his mother die a brutal death (he lived in a different country at this time.) So he took his sister... but he had no money, nothing. It's so sad. I'm sorry you have dreams like those, too. They're the worst. *HUGS* Thank you for everything. You are such a good friend to me. I can't thank you enough. Sweet dreams!! And I hope you have a good day at school tomorrow. ♥ you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| You're such a sweetheart!!!!!! ♥ Seriously. The thing about this guy is... it's really complicated, I mean he's been more than ANYONE I've ever talked to. No matter what I say he just denies it and sais all he does is hurt people and ruin lives. :( He thinks it is his fault his sister is dead. But it isn't. Not at all. He thinks he is evil. :( But he is so kind and he does not judge me. He calls me his "big sister." He is only fifteen. Um... the dreams... they're about all the people that have abandoned me.. err I chased away?... always there, always taunting me, staying, coming, going. Telling me what a horrible person I am and why I am alone. It's always the same damn people, over and over and over. |
| from getinline : |
| Thanks so much for your sweet note! It made my day :) Oh, and I'm not sure why, but I can't seem to get into your diary. May I have the password again please? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| They're fucking awesome songs, I know. ;) *sigh* I'm just... really fucking... ah! I hate myself, who I've become. I've been having more and more panic attacks, grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw, especially at night, crying a lot, horrible nightmares. I'm just sick of it. I want it to go away. I want to be normal. And yes, he is still alive, but he cut himself A LOT and he's just... he wants to die so badly, he blames himself for everything that has happened in his life, even though it's not his fault and I can't convince him he's wrong and it's fucking killing me. *sigh* I hope you don't get caught you bad, bad, girl!!! |
| from yourjealous : |
| We've been together for a little over a year now....you know what? I'll write an entry about the history of Cory and I...haha...just cause I feel like it :p uhm....i don't know what/who viva la bam is *blush* someone has it in their name on my msn....but...yeah i've got nothin...fill me in!haha wishing you the sweetest dreams in the world and the courage to learn to help yourself become the woman you long to be :) <3 |
| from thatgirlx : |
| p.s. Do you like the song 'My December' I've been listening to that on repeat.. that and 'Only' by Nine Inch Nails... and 'Through Glass' by Stone sour... everything else is BLAH right now. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I'm trying to convince on of my friends (an online friend of course because I have no REAL friends...) to start a diary here... *sigh* He's in a really bad place right now in his life. He's been through so much. Last night he was on the verge of suicide, I was bawling my eyes out trying to convince him that life IS worth living... luckily he's okay... but I still feel like I've failed him. :( I wish there was no suffering in the world, I hate when people are so down. :( It makes my heart ache. Fuck people and their "jesus." If he DOES exist, he sure as hell isn't anyone I'd ever want to look up to. If I had the 'ultimate' power, I wouldn't let anyone suffer. I think the bible is a fucking joke. A peice of fiction that some idiots believe real. Um.. I'm rambling. SORRY! I told you I was ... well, I'm a little drunk, if you couldn't tell... ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Isn't it past your bed time, young lady? ;) Just kidding. I know it might seem like you're being selfish, but more than not, you're actually just doing what you need to get by, and that's okay. I know you're going through a lot right now, but the people who love you love you for YOU, even with everything going on, like you said to me "problems and all." And I know sometimes they can push stuff on you, but really, they just want you to be okay because they love you. And they have every right to love you because you are a beautiful person. Keep your head up, girl. ♥ (I'm sorry if that didn't make any sense... I'm a little.. eh.. right now.) ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from yourjealous : |
| good good, keep the food down! your body needs it! I just ate a peice of toast with pb and honey and it was delicious! I never want that to leave my body! haha The girl is an old friend...we haven't talked lately, partly due to the fact that we're in different cities, but also, we are at totally different places in our lives. We used to be "best friends"...so much so that her life became mine....meaning I didn't get anything in my own life done cause I spent all of my time worrying about her. I love being there for my friends, but I'm paying thousands of dollars to be in school.....and worrying day and night about someone's (sometimes petty) problems is not a good way to spend my money! But still...I stayed up all night talking, and it was what i wanted to do at the time. But then there came a time when I realized she wasn't helping herself and I couldn't be the only person trying....it was too much on me. There were other factors leading to some bumps in our friendship....but....yeah pretty much I still would be there for her if she ever needed me, I just can't have her as my number one priority anymore, if this is making sense, i don't nkow, i've forgotten what i've written and i think this is long enough long story short, she is a friend, who i disagree with on many things and i hope tha tsome day she gets her life straigtened out! haha *phewf* |
| from cat-45 : |
| well, I'm going now cause monster baby is coming up the drive way. bye bye!! ♥ Cat |
| from cat-45 : |
| damn.. I just wrote a note and it deleted it. Umm... Going to look at the layouts right now... her parents are gooing somehwere tomorrow morning and mommy wanted to keep her. |
| from cat-45 : |
| "monster baby" leaves tomorrow afternoon. I am gonna be dead tired. |
| from cat-45 : |
| "Monster baby" arrives at 9 |
| from cat-45 : |
| ey. Chutup. Ha ha you and Ethan had an affair!!! |
| from cat-45 : |
| Oh I got it now. I feel retarded. |
| from cat-45 : |
| *big hug* Don't worry. MEgan will still be around. This I know. She'll have more freedom with her grandma, probably, so she can call/ write/ visit more than she could if she stayed with her mom. Just be brave! *gay voice* be a soldier Preston!!! Hee hee hee. I gotta babysit tonight.... I'm gonna be so flippin tired tomorrow!!!! Well, I 'm talking to toke, so bye. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Hey, know I can actually say I did something productive today, right? That's always a plus. ;) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Duh!! When I first started writing here, you were the first person to ever even acknowledge me. You've followed me through my ever popular name changes... and you've always had something nice or positive to say along the way. And you make me laugh. A LOT! You're just too cool for words. ;) ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| *hugs* I hope you're okay... I'm sorry about your friend. :( Don't lose hope, though? You're not broken, you're just a little lost, but it's not too late to find your way. This doesn't have to be permanent. You CAN beat it. It's just going to take a lot of work. But as always, you know I'm here for you, no matter what. ♥ |
| from floaty-ana : |
| hey sure its.. joey moo can i have yours please? |
| from yourjealous : |
| oooooh you're welcome! I'm wide awake right now AAAAAAAAH! But I'm going to attempt to sleep. Hope you're doing well :) ciao! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Okay... wait. Who is Gina exactly... is she related to you? I'm not sure if I missed the 'Gina is...' part or if I'm just really fucking stupid or if you never really mentioned her relationship to you or what... but I'm just curious and a little confused. Um. Shit. What was I going to say? Oh yeah. I hate that. When you're just lying in bed and sleep won't come and you've got a million words running through your head at full speed... *sigh* I listen to music when I sleep... it seems to help if I just concentrate on the lyrics and try to ignore my thoughts... sometimes. Do you do that? If not, you should. I can't eat in front of people, either. At all. I feel like they're just watching in, thinking "what a disgusting pig. she should SO not be eating." Um. Yeah. I have problems. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Pffffft. Whatever. Why do you have to go to bed at 8:30? You're sixteen... that's like... a five year olds bedtime. Seriously. I'm sorry. :( I hate when people try to make me eat. They bought pizza at work today and kept trying to get me to have a slice... they're like "you never eat..." Obviously I fucking eat. If I didn't eat I'd be skin and bone, which I'm not. Stupid people. I hope you're okay tonight. ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| P.S. Home come all of your layouts are so fucking fabulous? I'm jealous. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I love October. Something about the chill in the air... it's comforting in a weird sort of way. Halloween is my favorite holiday, too. Um. Work was all right. Lots of Mt. Dew and whip cracking. Gotta keep them "cleaning lady things" in line, you know? ;) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I'm gone lol! BYE!!!!!!!!! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| ARE. YOU. THERE. ?. ?. ?. I won't go this time lol, just tell me if you're here?!?! I love you. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I had 30 new messages when I checked my e-mail today. All of them from Diaryland. I feel poular. ;) Um. I loved talking to you and Cat last night. Good times. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. So thank you for that. :) I really, really needed it. Of course, I couldn't fucking fall asleep last night because I was so wired. But it's ALL good. |
| from cat-45 : |
| I'm no loser you fiend! Now I'm going to try to section my hair off by myself.... bye! Call me later if you want, I mean you don't have to call me if you don't want to, I'm just hinting that you should. You know to see how horribly muffed up my hair is.... and to talk to the coolest catastrophe you know! Oh yeah, REDEMPTION! YAY! I'm so happy. It makes me feel like giving you a big kiss! lol. |
| from cat-45 : |
| As soon as my mom gets home I'm putting fake dreads in my hair. Its gonna rock. |
| from sekritsin : |
| yupppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp |
| from cat-45 : |
| night ♥ |
| from cat-45 : |
| oh no! THUNDER!!!!!! SAVE ME SAVE ME! I just got yelled at AGAIN! I gotta go to bed. |
| from cat-45 : |
| yes it was the damndest |
| from cat-45 : |
| ah! POOR DOUBLE D!! HE OD'd!!!! |
| from cat-45 : |
| it is totally the damndest! Can I kiss you? |
| from cat-45 : |
| that's just this damn southern accent I have. |
| from cat-45 : |
| Ripwag, not Ripwawg. Loser. jk I looooove you!!!!!!!! |
| from cat-45 : |
| ha ha. That's funny. |
| from cat-45 : |
| bitch please! I'll =P you if I wanna! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| hey you hippie hater! what's wrong with hippies...? i have my notes setting on 'receive e-mail everytime someone leaves you a note.' i haven't checked my e-mail in a while. i probably have a like bazillion e-mails. um. okay. i really am going now... i swear. ♥ Try not to OD on Mt.Dew. |
| from cat-45 : |
| =P |
| from cat-45 : |
| do you mean maids, you dork? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i'm gonna kick your ass. "little maidey thingies" LOL. see if i give your ass a free nights stay. BIOTCH! They're called "room attendents." just so you know. ;) |
| from cat-45 : |
| ha ha. I understand now!!!! I thought you meant she cleaned lady's things. I was like WTF??? ha ha. *in Gadge voice(from Pet Sematery)* We caught you! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i ♥ nirvana. (yes, i'm reading notes that aren't meant for me... i'm bored.) um. i hate to crash the party, but i need to get off the computer before i get bitched at. i hope you have WONDERFUL night. LOSER! don't make fun of me. i always say for reals. um. okay. i'm leaving now, have fun! |
| from cat-45 : |
| danielle, what does "cleaning lady things" mean? |
| from cat-45 : |
| I didn't mean you could say it THAT much. lol. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| err... cracking the whip? wow. i'm really fucking out of it tonight. & i blame you and you're friend for making me laugh so fucking hard. |
| from cat-45 : |
| really? You mean you might forgive him?!?!?! Of course I wont tell I kind of enjoy seeing a look of terror on his face... Is that bad?? hee hee hee. We can share your angel! ha ha. *cough*Jealoushippie*cough* hee hee hee. um wow. You;re super hyper aren't you? REDEMPTION!!! and yes, I do believe you tried to molest me today. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| LOL yeah i noticed that. a cleaning lady thing!? well, in case i SUPERVISE cleaning lady (& gents) things. i get to walk around slapping the whip, making sure noone is SLACKING. err... sort of. ;) i am like the best cleaning lady thing there is. ;) for reals. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| LMFAO. jealous much? ;) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| LMAO... I went to leave Cat a note and I saw your notes.. I like that song 'Get Stoned.' You know, that other song "Lips of an Angel" the dude on the radio today, I guess a bunch of girls were calling requesting, dedicating to their boyfriends he's like... "Do you even listen to the lyrics? It's about being UNFAITHFUL!" I thought that was fucking hilarious. Um... anyways.. don't ignore me, Cat! I'm not physcotic (sp?).. I don't think. Thank you... I wish someone would have been there, to. It's all good though. I work at a HOtel. I'm the Housekeeping Supervisor (don't laugh, i'm serious. i actually have authority... over other people.) |
| from cat-45 : |
| ah! NO more bruises! Ha ha ha ha ha. Guess what???!?! Nate asked me if he could borrow my razorblade, so I was replying to him and I am #5 on his friends list! In front of Jessica Clark and Leslie! ha! Leslie is #8! I may not be able to beat her with Gadge, but I can so beat her with Nate! ha ha! Actually... I think I might be beating her with Gadge as well... I mean, who does he walk around with all the time?? ME! Ha ha ha! ha! Now I feel better! |
| from cat-45 : |
| NO she's mad because she was bitching saying "I hope you rolled the windows up cause its about to rain" so I said "Yeah, me and Dnaielle rolled them up on the way to her house" and she said "Don't get smart with me" so I said "Dude, I'm not. I'm just telling you that we rolled them up already." then she says "You always hafta have the last word don't you?" so I said "No. I WAS JUST TELLING YOU THAT WE ROLLED UP THE DAMN WINDOWS!!!!" Then she says "Not that it really matters, you won't be getting it back anytime soon, anyway." Bitch please! She's totally PMSing or she didn't take her "happy pills" this morning. Whatever it is, she needs to get off my back. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| LMAO. It's all good. I have to work in the morning, but I'm all like 'fuck sleep.' I woke up in the middle of the night, having a fucking panic attack. I was all shaky in the morning. I'm sick of sleeping. Sick of dreaming. Go steal some more of your Grandma's Mt. Dew. (I fucking laughed so hard when I read that... since when to Grandma's drink MT. Dew anyways?) Um. you're a dork. I read your message to Cat. That poor girl. Making her leave me a note. You should be ashamed of yourself. ;) |
| from cat-45 : |
| I'm reading about the dreds right now. I don't hafta grow my hair out all I hafta do is like tangle the fake hair with my hair. I just left your angel a note. My mom is being a bitch again. She just yelled at me cause I told her we rolled the windows in my car up. Now she's saying I'm not getting it back. She's such a goddamn bitch. I say fuck it. She thinks I'm unruly now, you wait till she pisses me off again. Dammit. I wanna like scream. grr, You just left me another note. You;re too fast!!! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i'm not afraid of cat, i just didn't want to sound like some creepy stalker "give me your password, bitch!" um.. anyways.. mother fucker. i typed out this long note and then the stupid thing was all like 'sign in.' i don't have a favorite band... but heres some i like (in no particual order...) afi, 30 seconds to mars, chevelle, crossfade, foo fighters, nirvana, nine inch nails, linkin park, incubus, shinedown, stone sour, foo fighters, the used, trapt, three days grace, mudvayne, taking back sunday, seether, the killers, panic channel, hawthorne heights, avenged sevenfold, breaking benjamin, blue october, evanescence... and i feel like i'm forgetting a shit load, but you get the point, right? |
| from cat-45 : |
| ok I'll give myself dreads. You wanna help? I want them longer than my hair is now, so we gotta get fake hair. hee hee hee. |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| im pretty good; a little weak. it happens, you know? how are you, my dear? |
| from cat-45 : |
| uh oh.... I hope he doesn't say anyhting... We were doing what we were told. |
| from cat-45 : |
| oh no. I don't want anyone reading my diary! JK. I don't care. I love people whoo read my diary. Just tell her not to be scared of me.... I'm a nice person! I love new friends! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| I was just kidding about the discreet thing, i swear. I mean it's pretty obvious what happened... I was just teasing, because when my friend asked about it.. he said "I was trying to be discreet about it" and so then when I read your note, it reminded me of that. I hope you don't feel bad now, it wasn't stupid at all. And yes, I DO like three days grace. I don't think I've heard that song, though.. I'm listening to 'ready to fall' right now by Rise Against. I think I like a lot of the same music as you... you have good taste. ;) And WTF.. you can't just give out peoples passwords... lol. just kidding. Are you sure she won't mind? Sorry... I'm in a really fucking weird mood tonight. I still can't believe you don't have AIM! *sigh* you're fucking cool, have i told you that lately? |
| from cat-45 : |
| what's a b/p? |
| from cat-45 : |
| yeop! I'm seriously thinking about doing dreads... I read your new blog. Megan's right. Please don't end it all. Who will I watch Viva la Bam with? Who else wouldn't ever freak out whenever I go all Jimmy Pop and ask if I can kiss you in the middle of a conversation? NOBODY. Everybody else would freak out and call me a lesbian... Cause they've never seen that episode! Hee hee. Elliot actually told you to smile???? Wow. He does have a heart... Um... so yeah, Do you feel any better now? |
| from thatgirlx : |
| The note wasn't retared. I'm a fast reader, so it's ALL good. I read your entire diary entry, too, thank you very much! And I really don't have a long attention span, either, so consider yourself truly cared about. Hah! Um.. tell your friend Cat I said thank you. I think I got an e-mail from you about her.. I was too scared to ask her for her password, though... but *hint hint* if she wants to drop it my way... I wouldn't pass it up. If she's your friend, she must be hella cool. Okay.. about that entry... um. You're the second person to ask me that... except the last person was a little more DISCREET about it. LMAO. I'm just kidding. ;) Honestly.. I don't know. It was a while ago.. three years, I think. I was pretty messed up. I think I passed out. And then.. all of a sudden I was awake and this guy was... well, you know.. on top of me.. and.. it was horrible. I don't remember much about that night, up until that moment. I sobered up pretty fucking quick. My boyfriend (now ex) was passed out in the car and I just ran like hell and curled up into arms. The guy was one of his friends... he'd convinced me to come back down to the beach with him.. I wanted to stay in the car.. I don't know why I went, probably because there were "party favors" if you know what you mean... I remember talking to him and stuff, and the other couple of people sort of drifted away on their own.. and then i layed down, everything was spinning, he was still sitting at the picnic table. the last thing i heard was "don't go to sleep." i replay in my head over and over, trying to make sense of waht happened but i just draw a blank. so i'm hoping now that i got it all out in the open, maybe it'll stay the fuck out my head. but i doubt it. OKAY! that was long. hope i didn't bore you TOO much. ;) ♥ you! |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| nope just gay stuff...i hate college...i been there for 4 fuckin years...that should be enough to be a brain surgeon..right? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| YES. I'm still here. But you're not :( We need to have and internet sleepover thingo one day.. Hmm... Love you xxx |
| from thatgirlx : |
| *hugs* What a little shit head. I want to beat his face in with a stick. Seriously. That was a really fucked up thing for him to do. Who all did he tell? Grr! Thanks for the notes, BTW. You're a doll. And of couse YOU'RE not a failure, but sadly I am. It's not what you're thinking.. I didn't throw up. I don't know if you've ever done this... but I've been chewing and spitting. It's fucking disgusting. But I... can't fucking deny myself the pleasure of foods anymore. Except I can't allow myself the luxury of actually eating either. It's all very fucking distressing. And I feel so guilty, not being able to just complety avoid food like I used to... I'll figure it out, though. Don't worry. ♥ Hope you're okay. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Hey darling! Are you still there? Thank God you updated!!! I needed my daily does of Dani! I've missed you! Ha, I'm going to do an entry for Lezzzzzzzie and Gadge too!!!!!!! They're gonna wish they were never born! *sighhs* I wish I could have taken Megans place when she was talking to you yesterday :( Tell her that.. Umm... I love her... But that I hate her too :) (only cause I'm jealous though lol). I love you Danielle. |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| i just have been so busy with like school and stuff....nothing too interesting. dont worry, i would have let you know. evil crakcers///////// |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| hey i'm back i had to go away for a while but im here now |
| from thatgirlx : |
| where are you? i need my daily dose of danielle. please and thank you. ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| All you stupid people below this note, PISS OFF! *cries* I wanna leave notes too dammit! :( Ok, so hello my beautiful Danielle. Dude, when you were on in th morning the other day, you said you needed to get ready and stuff so I thought that ment you needed to go away, so I just logged out!!!! I'm so sorrrrrrry! I'm so sorry Danielle! Next time I won't let you go!!!!!! Even if you need to! Ok, sound good?? Good! :D Now, I got to my notes thismorning, and I saw a whole heap from you! Like, really soppy, gourgeous, lovie dovie, sweet kind, thoughtful notes! :) And I was so happy about them! SO thatnk you so much Danielle! YOu're the best person in the whole world! I love you so much! I don't know how to thank you enough.. When I get home from my train ride, I'm going to reply to them.. probally in an e-mail :) Btw, i din't get the one you said ya sent :S *sips hot chocolate* Umm... I love you. Oh guess what!?!??! I had a dream about you last night! It was before a nightmare, and them after one :( Ok, so we were talking on here and I just got up, went to the airport and flew over to you! I got to your place but you were at school.. So it was just me and Aunty Kim (can I call her Aunty too? please). Yeah, so we talked a bit about what it was like over here and stuff. Then you and Cat or maybe Hales... came home from school, and like.. we didn't really talk. All I could think about was that I'd have to leave (go back "home") and that we'd might never see eachother again. I didn't want to say anything either because I was affraid of never being able to let go of you.. Emotionaly and physically. Umm.. It was all pretty vauge. It was dark too, so I didn't see allof your face. We were sleeping in the same bed, and I was huddled up close to you lol :S But you didn't seem happy.. Like you were happy, but just not excited and stuff. Then you went to sleep and I just watched you. You're beautiful. Your breathing is soothing.. Like the beautiful gental autumn breeze. So faint, yet so obvious. About 3am, I got up and made you something to eat (lol, it's not even my house and I'm doing that!!!!!! weird!!!!0, then I took it into your room and you smiled but you didn't want it, so I made you some toast, but burnt it :( Then told you that I did, but you said you wanted to eat it. So we laid in the dark, in your bed, and ate black toast :P Then you went to school. No goodbyes. You just went. Late at night, you came home, drunk and sick. Ten everything repeated itself.. :S A few days later, I had to go home again. Aunty Kim sent letters and pictures and Cat messaged me on her phone about Gadge or some other boy :S Dunno. Then I came to visit you again. No one was there, except Aunty Kim. She wasn't happy to see me :( So I had to go home again. Then I had a dream where I stabbed someone over and over with a needle. Ooops *looks away guiltily* *sips cold hot chocolate* *looks at you sadly* Please don't leave me Danielle. i love you so much and I never want you to refuse my burnt food again, ok? :P Now, I've read you entries that you've rcently posted.. And *sighs* I will talk about that when I get home, ok? I have to straighten my hair, pile some make up on, get dressed in something other than a massive arse jumper, and force a smile to go out in public *smiles!!!* :( I love you Danielle! God, I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH! So much that I want to be sick!!!!!!! Does that make sence??? lol :D Good bye my beautiful girl ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from venting101 : |
| you deserve more than anything to be alive...you need to stay alive to prove to everyone who has ever hurt you that you are better than that...you need to stay alive to prove to those who will be hurt in the future that there is still hope. i love how we were both going to go to bed, and we both ended up bawling our fool faces off....funny how that works. well now i'm for real going to bed, going to bed with a new calm...I hope that you can find a calm too, a real calm, I really think that someday you will, you can....just remember, someone in canada thinks your not a waste of space ;) sweet dreams ma petite, ne t'inqui�tes pas <3 |
| from venting101 : |
| hehe well I'm glad that I'm somehow helping you :) this is going to be a short note cause i'm going to bed...actually i can't think right now so this is all it is, i'll get back t oyou tomorrow :) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| of course. except, shit. I CAN'T FUCKING DRIVE. but for you, my darling, i'd hitch a ride. ;) you just better hope i don't get picked up by some fruitcake and end up dead on the side of the road. |
| from cat-45 : |
| hee hee hee. Awesome. Allright 10 minutes turned into an hour and now I'm going to bed. Nighty night danielli poo! hee hee ♥ Cat |
| from cat-45 : |
| oh never mind I got it!!! |
| from cat-45 : |
| how do I delete it??? |
| from venting101 : |
| no, that totally makes sense actually....and no, I don't think you're weird at all...I feel alot of the same things you do...well about myself...i don't know what your past is like, but mine isn't really rough at all, so i'm not going to pretend it is haha I just have low self esteem....here's my thought however on the issue of throwing up....i understand that it would give a temporary relief/comfort.......but...wouldn't you feel so much better about yourself if you did something else? Personally....I eat better when I'm away at school than when I'm at home, and I alwaysl ose weight at school, then gain it back in the summer (haha) but when i lose that weight, i feel soooo good about myself because i controled what i ate, and i exercised lots, and just knowing that I was making progress made me feel beautiful, even if i only lost five pounds (five pounds isn't a lot when you weight .... a lot already...! haha) anyways that's what i think about that...i'm not sure what i think about the cutting yet....it's very interesting what you said about the emotional pain and physical pain....and i'm sorry that you've been hurt so much :( it's weird cause when i was reading what you said about that....i could feel myself relaxing...like...i could imagine the feeling of releif........but.....at the same time........i just couldn't do that...i'd faint..i hate blood and well....i just have this feeling that it's not good..you know? ok this wa smy turn to babble! haha |
| from cat-45 : |
| ha ha that's hilarious! Why does she think I took one???? And can you delete that note porfavor? and this one if at all possible cause my mom had been being extra nosey and she's figured out how to read my notes... She hacked into my email thingy and clicked the link in one of the messages. She didn;t delete it, so it wasn't highlited and bold like the unread ones. And I know I didn't read it... |
| from thatgirlx : |
| aw. *hugs* i know you're scared. it's scary knowing someone holds the key to one of your nearest and dearest secrets. you're not being whiny, not at all. i hope everything works out. ♥ |
| from cat-45 : |
| no I'm still here. Tell me! |
| from cat-45 : |
| Umm.... I'm off to bed... I'll tty tomorrow! TREACE OUT!!! ♥ Cat |
| from venting101 : |
| wowzers i took a long time, i'm sorry! I was running around my apartment, litterally........I was fidgeting so I was going to just run around the couch once, but it lasted 20 minutes! haha I will definitely check that other diary out! so, you don't make yourself sick cause you want to get rid of the food...it's more of a power thing? i want to say that's cool........but i don't mean it's good...but....hm...it's interesting! cause i have nver thought of it like that before...the only reason i would ever is cause i feel fat and that would make me feel less guilty for the things i eat, or less bloated after i'm full, even when i eat healthy....actually i mostly think about it after i've had like...one tiny bad thing for me, cause i wish i didn't get off track...anyways...the cutting now.....see that would just fucking hurt! like.... a lot! geeeezus! |
| from cat-45 : |
| ha ha! Yeah! But he might just like that..... |
| from cat-45 : |
| no i did not leave, I'm waiting on my retarded slow computer to load the pages.... |
| from thatgirlx : |
| why are you apologizing? i've told you numerous times, if you ever need to talk or anything that i'm here for you. seriously. anyways WTF! is up with that? ok. here's what you do. you walk up to him and you fucking bitch slap him as hard as you can and say "Quit running your mouth you little punk or I'm gonna tell the whole school YOU'RE gay." (Or really, insert whatever would piss him off the most here.) and if he still tells people, just be like "What?" and pretend like you have no idea what they're talking about. and then ramble on about how talks up his ass all the time. Okay. That probably wasn't the least bit helpful... um, yeah, sorry. ♥ i love you! |
| from cat-45 : |
| OK. Calm down. She can't remember who he said. Maybe it'll all be ok... It better fucking be for his sake.... Just don't kill anybody yet. OK? And don't yell at him cause trust me, it'll make it worse. He's like I used to be... You yell, you piss him off, he tells everybody. Just trust me on this, I was never mean enough to do that, but I think Gadge could be... OK breath in..... breath out.... feel the tension leaving your body.... going out through your finger tips.... out your toes... ok its gone. *throws brick at mirror of lies* Ha, use my mirror *pulls out haggard mirror, Danielle looks in haggard mirror and sees her beautiful self* seee????? I told you. |
| from cat-45 : |
| WHAT?!??!?! When did he tell him??? I'm gonna fucking kill him for you! AAAAAAH! |
| from cat-45 : |
| Well, apparently you're looking in the wrong mirror. YOu're looking at one of those lying mirrors that should be smashed cause its a LIAR!! DIE MIRROR OF LIES DIE! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| aw. you're the sweetest. & you DID make me smile. thank you. :) you're sixteen, right? i think, yeah. so it's not that bad for you to not have a liscence. i'm TWENTY. it's fucking pathetic. and it's like, i'm not even scared, but i still end up having a panic attack. it's unavoidable. damn. i hate this. ♥ YOU, though! |
| from cat-45 : |
| well you're not right... I think you're beautiful and I'm not gonna change my mind unless you start acting like Leslie. k? I'm really sleepy too.... I think I'm gonna go watch Casper and finish my homework.... |
| from cat-45 : |
| bull shit. I told you not to argue with me. Now feel the wrath *makes weird death beam noise* |
| from cat-45 : |
| You're not a failure and you ARE beatiful. Who gives a damn what people say? I know it hurts, but more than likely they;re trying to put you down to make themselves feel good. Danielle, nobody is perfect, nobody will ever be perfect. Please don't cry. And don't bucking argue with me! I'll get that cd ASAP. Promise. |
| from cat-45 : |
| aw! man! that's so not fair!!! I LOOOOVE WILL!! I wanna see hiiiiim in the videeeo! Ah! hee hee hee. At lest I found my magazing so I can look at his sexy picture.... =) |
| from cat-45 : |
| I found my AP magazine!!! GO ME! |
| from cat-45 : |
| dangit. Well, its the marilyn manson with the top hat thingy on. |
| from cat-45 : |
| try that one... |
| from cat-45 : |
| http://www.rockmuzik.com/download/fondmarilyn2.jpg |
| from cat-45 : |
| was it a video???? Iwanna see sexy Will bECKETT AGAINN!! damn it was supposed to be that pic of marilyn manson she said she liked... Golly ka gee. Brittany must be getting super glammed up.... lol.. I saw your new friend! I'll hafta check them out!! lol. |
| from cat-45 : |
| http://www.rockmuzik.com/download/fondmarilyn2.jpg Go there. Its for my little sister! |
| from cat-45 : |
| I ♥ The Academy Is...!!!!!!! |
| from cat-45 : |
| gr. I jsut read my last blog thingy and it pissed me off again! I took a shower and calmed down, but then I read it again and got pissed! gay gay gay! Its because I KNOW she's gonna hurt him. gr. Do you get this? Do you get why I get soooo angry? 1) she's gonna use him. I HATE users 2) She's only doing it cause IIIIII like him 3) She flirts with EVERY guy I've ever liked/ known 4) She's gonna hurt Toke as well. I don't really like Toke, but hey, he doesn't deserve to be treated like poop. 5) Gadge is becoming one of my close friends, if somebody was doing this same thing to you or Whitney or somebody like that, I'd go off on them too. grrrr. Aw you liked my story???? AWESOME! Go me! I liked yours too. Lets all get married... THIS WEEKEND! Make Leslie jealous when we all go on our honey moon hee hee *wink wink* lol. jk jk. Man I wish my mommy would let me change the channel! Which song is it??? |
| from venting101 : |
| yes, the pw would be cool...because no i have even more questions! so...you know all of this terrible stuff that it does to you, so why in the world would you want to do that? (i hope that's not rude...just tell me to stop asking questions ify ou don't wanna answer!) |
| from cat-45 : |
| hee hee hee. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wheee lots of hearts! |
| from cat-45 : |
| aw. I feel unloved now. =( *tear, big humongous emo *cough*nate*cough* tears) |
| from cat-45 : |
| I ♥ will beckett!!!! |
| from cat-45 : |
| *cat kicks danielle and georgia in their shins and runs ands hides behind Gadge*..... *Danielle and georgia beat the crap out of Gadge and chase cat more*.... *cat curls up in a little ball and pleads temporary insanity*... *danielle and georgia look at each other and think for a few minutes then sit down beside cat and apologize for killing her friend*.... *cat says "its ok, he was getting on my nerves anyway*..... *gadge puts his arm back in socket and gives cat, danielle and georgia hugs while saying "I LOOOVE YOU! EVEN THOUGH YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!"* ............ *they all live happily ever after (after they got kidnap Haley and little sister all 6 get married and have little children running around.... hee hee great stpry huh?) |
| from venting101 : |
| no no don't stop blabbing! I think it's very interesting....I'm very curious about how it makse you feel and stuff, and it's effect on your body...I don't think I'll ever actually do it.....but it's still very interesting... and I'm in Canada...haha so your megan does not equal my megan! but it's still funny |
| from cat-45 : |
| Oh no! SAVE ME SAVE ME! I'M DROWNING! |
| from venting101 : |
| megan pritchard? i know a megan pritchard! but i think i'm going to assume they are different people.....is that a safe bet? you know, to be completely honest i have thought about making myself sick a gazillion times.....but then i think about the fact that it'll make my teeth gross and my teeth are already bad enough haha *sigh* It's better for me in the long run anyways, right?! :) |
| from cat-45 : |
| I gotta go take a shower, I'll be back on in a few minutes. I call her cutie face cause I can. Because I'm her big sister and she has to listen to every thing I say! lol. But seriously, she's my cutie face sister pie. =D cool huh? And Danielle is my cutie face adopted daughter pie. =D hee hee. |
| from cat-45 : |
| ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Blondes have more fun than Loser faces that had their hair blacka nd an ugly red color! boo yah! |
| from emaciana : |
| i'd love your password, if you don't mind. starrysugar @ hotmail.com |
| from cat-45 : |
| wow, cutie face sister pie really is alot like me. I just told my mom I wanted to rip her skin off and boil her alive! You're a perv Danielle. Dude you know how I can't type? I typed your name and it did this: DNAielle. Like DNA??? How awesome is that??!?! |
| from cat-45 : |
| oh the whole 1 note after the other thing. The little ding dongy thing was going like nonstop and I thought you were leaving me note after note after note. |
| from cat-45 : |
| Good. I looove my little sister! She's like a smaller version of me! lol. OK we shall have our conversation and be merry =D and give him hugs while he cries cause he didn't wanna know the truth that Leslie is a freaking slut whore bitch 2 faced dog screwing mudda fucking piece of poop. ha ha. Many adjectives, I feel cool. |
| from cat-45 : |
| so instead I'm doing it to you mwa ha ha! |
| from cat-45 : |
| I thought you were gonna do the same thing you did last night and I was just thinking "NO DANIELLE NO! I'M NOT IN THE MOOD!!!" |
| from cat-45 : |
| where is my alien??!?!?!? |
| from cat-45 : |
| Wow. I feel good after telling her that stuff. I feel relieved and now I know I don't hafta talk to him about her. YESSS! and I will talk to him myself about me and him. I'm no pansy when it comes to Gadge. lol. |
| from cat-45 : |
| ha ha I took Haley's word!! |
| from cat-45 : |
| gayfer |
| from cat-45 : |
| don't you hate the way she makes everything revolve around her???? >=( |
| from cat-45 : |
| ha ha. |
| from cat-45 : |
| otay thank you. She was pissing me off! I HAD to tell her! She keeps saying "I won't hurt him, I won't hurt him." But just being friends with her hurts everybody! ah! I am so freaking pissed! I wanna rip her tonsils out! We have GOTTA GOTTA GOTTA talk to Gadge Badge tomorrow morning. IDC if I'm late. We're talking to him tomorrow morning to end all of this shit once and for good. Is little sister still there? If she is, tell her I said HIIII!! I LOVE YOU CUTIE FACE! lol. Cutie face. That's her new nick name! =D |
| from cat-45 : |
| Duuude! Whats the password??!?!?!?! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| fuck. i don't know. i don't know why i even remembered that. just... fuck. i keep writing things, things about the past, things that happened, and then i re-read them and it sounds so stupid, so miniscule. like nothing. but it's not nothing. not to me. just, fuck. i think i'm rambling. sorry. |
| from venting101 : |
| how do you delete notes?! haha *sigh* |
| from imanobody00 : |
| Thanx for the note, it is good to know someone else can understand how I feel. Could I have ur password?? My e-mail is [email protected], if you dont wanna give it out its no problem. Take care of yourself hon! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| OI! Don't you dare throw up! That's naughty stuff and it makes you feel bad after, REMEMBER!!??!?!??! I love you too! Have a great day! xxxxx |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I love you! ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I'll wite a note for you sweetie :P |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Couldn't hurt, could it??? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Why don't you just stay home today then? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| You still there?? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| HELLO BEAUTIFUL! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I love you Danielle! If you do go and stay with your mum, please, please, please come back, one day!! I miss you already and you haven't even left! If you do go, though, I hope you have a GREAT time! ♥ Will your dad be their, too? I doubt it, lol or you wouldn't go! I want to hug you!!!!!!!!!!!! :( When we meet, I'll never let go of you!! Except when you need to go to the loo to PEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Not for anything else! Hint.. HINT!!!!!! Grr. Don't hurt yourself sweetie! I love you and I want you to be happy. Ugh. I know what you mean about being able to control your emotions. I used to be like that, but now, I just don't know what happened. Sometimes I wish I could still be like that and all :S It'd be for the best anyway. AHHHH! K.E.E.P F.I.G.H.T.I.N.G. You can do this. If you give in to those thoughts, then your life will get worse.. :( ---- ----- ------ ------- ------ ------ *Pic of Danielles grave* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *me trying to dig you up* *Haely hits be over the head with a shovel. "MOVE BITCH!!!!! She's mine!!!!"* That's what it's going to be like :( I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| pretty much everything. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I think yes, you should write him a letter :) Just tell him whatevr you want, tell him that you are really annoied that he hasn't seen you since you were 10! I dunno.. Anything! But I think it's a good idea for you to do it. Oi, what's the story with you and Gadge?? Did uze used to date or something, 'cause I remember Cat saying something about you liking him before, or something? I'm not sure. Do you like him now? As a friend I mean :P Umm.. What else was I gunna say..? Oh, dude!!!!! Your meds! Are you #$&^%&* taking them or not? Grr. I wanna catch your dreams and drown them and Metho!!!!! Stupid assies! *sighs* I love you! ♥ ♥ XXX |
| from sex--boy : |
| Thanks. |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| i love you babygirl<3 |
| from thatgirlx : |
| actually, i think that's a myth. they just get portrayed more, especially in the media. i'm... well, of course, you can't label me, because my eating issues are seriously mixed up and don't follow any of the known disorders (like, one week i'm binging.. eating everything in sight, and the next i'm heavily restricting) but i'm not skinny. i'm fucking.. disgusting. |
| from venting101 : |
| haha that's ok! i like knowing when people agree with me...or disagree for that matter! and i appologize for the amount of anger in the diary haha i tend to only write when i'm mad...and i stopped writing for a while, but now i use it more cause i have more access to a computer! that's all! hehe |
| from thatgirlx : |
| of course, but i'm doubting you're ugly. i find that 99% of the time, when someone sais they're ugly, they're really not. you could always let me be the judge of that, though, you know. ;) take care doll. *hugs* |
| from ifiwere : |
| cha think I could have a password? [email protected] |
| from thatgirlx : |
| you can add me to the 'wants to see a picture of Danielle' club, okay? ♥ |
| from sex--boy : |
| Hey, would you mind deleting that note I gave you with the password to my diary? -Jarred |
| from razornotes00 : |
| GRRR! 4 people have left you a note since I did last night and I'm mad!!!! STUPID PEOPLE! I love you! Haha, congrats on the ciggie, but don't become addicted or anything... I reckon you're doing the best thing you can with your dad, for now. So don't worry sweetie :) I hope you have sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet dreams tonight!!! Ok, well I'm about to spal some mascrarra on, then run to school :( I love you so much! ♥ |
| from thatgirlx : |
| aw. i just want to give you a hug and tell you everything will be okay. you deserve better. on a seperate note... Tony Hawk was an asshole? :( WTF is up with that? he's a phenomonal skater. i have a bit of a "thing" for skaters. my ex was teaching me... but now he's gone and i've given up the dream. *sigh* ♥ you! (sorry for all the notes...) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i'm jealous. :( i want my DVD back, dammit. bam margera rocks my world. i'm excited for the new jackass movie. :) DANIELLE! i hope you're not thinking of taking up smoking. i've been smoking since i was 14, and i wish like hell i'd never started. once you start, good luck quitting. oh.. and then there's listening to lecture after lecture after lecture. after 6 years, i've heard it all. i've taken to saying, when asked "you know that causes lung cancer & emphasyma (sp?) right?" 'Really, I never knew that?' in the most sarcastic tone humanly possible. i hate people sometimes. |
| from thatgirlx : |
| i'm... not really sure. i'm so used to saying "i'm fine," because it's easier that way, you know. but in all honestly, i'm the farthest away from fine then i've been in quite a while. i'll be okay, though. how are you? ♥ |
| from ironic-lips : |
| Thanks for your note! It's funny, but even when characters in a book are suffering, you'd still opt for that they're suffering under. Also - The Used DO rock. <3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yes, I got your point, but please don't ever stop trying to make it :) I'm glad you were bored enough to wite it lol! :P I love you so freaking much! You're the best thing ever.. xxx |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! 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I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! I ♥ you too! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ I'll love you forever and EVA!!!!! ~` ♥ `~ I love you Danielle! |
| from venting101 : |
| What makes you interested in reading my diary? (I hope that doesn't sound rude...it's just that no one [even my friends who read before i locked it] haven't even asked for it....so I'm just curious, tis all! |
| from billie--joe : |
| ♥ your wierd ♥ |
| from teacher-dyke : |
| hi, i just saw that you added me and i'd love to take a look at your journal. can i have your pw? |
| from cat-45 : |
| Hey you, get offa the interweb and call me. ASAP. I've almost got her talked into letting you come over, I think.... |
| from forwardstep : |
| hey u mailed me for my old diary confusedbi33 if changed to this one so if u wanna have a read of it.... nish |
| from lightgrey : |
| thank you. i just deleted that entry so i could edit it. i guess i wanted to add more to that. thanks again. <3 |
| from missfickles : |
| Thanks for joining the bisexual diaryring! -MF- |
| from tttragic : |
| its alright. i'll just have to figure out where this is going, and if she's honestly serious about us. |
| from cat-45 : |
| ha ha. Catherine was confused because she forgot what she wrote in that note. ha ha. I feel retarded. Ummmm.... <h1>I LOOOOOVE YOU!!!!!</h1> *hugs* |
| from cat-45 : |
| catherine thinks she is too. Catherine also thinks Danielle is NOT a failure and that Danielle is the bestest friend Catherine could ever have. Catherine also thinks she loves you. Hello I love you won't you tell me your name? |
| from dyingisanart : |
| hi. just got your message. i think. i don't remember if i gave you the code but its "go;away" (don't be put off!) |
| from thatgirlx : |
| You're not a failure. You had one slip up. This is not the end of the world. You were doing good, weren't you? You can get back to that, I know you can. Use this as motivation, as something to look back on when you're in the heat of the moment. And then ask yourself "do I want to let myself down like I did last time? and have to live with that self-inflicted guilt?" I'm betting the answer will be no. Don't give up the fight. You're strong enough to beat this. I <3 you! |
| from thatgirlx : |
| Um. Yeah. I have serious commitment issues. Maybe I should join a support group? ;) |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| *HUGS* I know it's not as good as the real thing, but it's all I've got. Sorry. About that note I left, um, yeah. You can just disregard that, okay? I figured it out. Thanks, though. *HUGS* |
| from billie--joe : |
| ♥ *HUGS* *more HUGS* i love you danielle ♥ |
| from enurta : |
| you're not retarded, you're smart, beautiful and kind! and i love reading your journal, you're funny and interesting. <3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yep! I DO kick butt! *chases you with steel cap boots on* I've seen the layouts that you've made Danielle, and I liked all except one! And I only didn't like it baecuse the girl on it was... um... WAY TOOOOOO FUCKING SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol but thank you so much for doing it! I love it/you! I always thought I needed a gold membership to do all that stuff, and I couldn't be arsed to get it :S But now I know I don't! Yay! :) THANK YOU! Oh, HELLLLLL YEEEEEEAH!!!!!!! Cathrine is so @%&*#^*&&* gorgeous! Her lips are so beautiful! Dammit! STUPID COW!!!!!!!! (sorry, I'm jealous of pretty people :S). I'm sorry that you're sad about all the people you've lost.. You'll never loose me, if that's any consolation :S I'm here if you wanna talk about it sweetie.. Ok? I love you! ♥ |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| hey there, genius! i need your help with something because i'm totally HTML retarded. i'm not sure if it's fixable, or if i fucked it up or what, but if you'd like to offer your expertise, i'll give you the diary s/n it's under. (because yes, i think i'm changing s/n's AGAIN.) ok thanks. :) |
| from cat-45 : |
| Blame Gadge. No don't blame Gadge. He's sad enough already. I wanna see Devlin! Send me a linky thing! lol. I've never seen him before! Aw. You think I'm beautiful? So is that why you were stripping on the phone??? lol. Um. Check out my myspace song =D Its great. ha ha. |
| from cat-45 : |
| omg! Why the heck did you waste space in your blog for my picture???!?!?!? I was reading and then BOOM! I saw me! I was liiike whoooooa. You're so sweet to me buddy. I asked mom if you could come over and she said "no, cause you're grounded." blah. Hmmmm.... Laughing at old people is mucho fun-o. Well. Call me later if you want. I'm going to take a shower and going to bed. I'm a boring person tonight. Go me! lol. Mucho love! Treace Out!! <3 Catherixie |
| from billie--joe : |
| *so wat if i was and that was funny i thought that hung out said madeout ha ha ok love ya bye* |
| from enurta : |
| maybe there was something wrong with diaryland? it should be working now <3 and thanks for letting me read your diary. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!! MYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! It's so beautiful!!!!!! I love it! I'm gonna marry it!!!!!! aaaaaaaahahahahahahahaahhahaahahahha! Thank you Danielle! You're so freaking talented!! It's wonderful! You're wonderful!! Thank you! :-D I love you so much! thankyou!!!!!! thankyou!!! thankyou!!!! I owe you everything good in this world!!! Thank you so much! You are amazing Danni! I love you! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| you ARE super cool. |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| you always have the coolest layouts. i'm loving the green on black. and the hearts. too fucking cool for words. |
| from readthisline : |
| Hahha! That's totally cool! Thanks honey. Yeah.. I'm not sure who this Alex person is either. If I find out I'll be sure to let you know! You're really sweet. The kindness you've given me is wonderful.. xx |
| from readthisline : |
| You're so cute! I've never actually told you my name.. It's Jessica. Nothing special hahha. Thank you for the note though.. it was so sweet. It made me smile. I hope you have a nice day. xx p.s. don't worry! I'm atrocious with names also hahha |
| from razornotes00 : |
| YEAH!! I'm with Brittany!!! I wanna see it too! lol :P Ok, so I have about.. 5 seconds before I gotta sprint over to my Nanna's for tea, but I just had to leave you a quick note! Eeek! Thank you so so so so so so so so so so much for that/those e-mails!!!!! I love you!!!! Dammit. I'll reply to the one ya sent thismorning when I get back home, ok? AHHHH! I'm gonna freaking frame it and put it in an art expidition!!!! hahahahahahahahhaahah! I love you Danielle! Um. Your dad :S Dude... I'm sorry.. If you want to talk about anything ( :-D ) I'm here for you, always (DUH!!!). Ok? Ya can e-mail it if you don't want anyone to read it, ok? Well, did you have fun at the 'dress up' day today? Did you go as a dude? Or not? :P Oh yeah, I've been thinking about you 'home comming' thingo, and I WANNA KNOW WHAT THAT LADY ID GUNNA DRESS YOU IN!!!!!! Ok?!?!?!? I'm so excited about it!! So please tell me what she has planned!!! :-) What's the theme? Wait... Do you have one of them at your school? Oh yeah, of course you do!!! You go to a snob school, so yes ya do aye! :P hehehe! I love you! Oh yeah, and is Haley gunna be your date? Anyway, I wish I could write more, but I gotta go! I'll be back!!!! Please don't update before I come back on though lol! I love you!!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from getinline : |
| Hey I would love to read some of your entries!! If that's okay with you and you would like to be discreet, you can just send me a message at [email protected]. Thanks so much!! |
| from billie--joe : |
| you butt you are not fat ok and *disappointed*why didnt i see this kiss wat the crap lol well love ya bye |
| from enurta : |
| hey...you locked your diary. i still want to read your entries, if it is okay with you? you can send the user/pass to [email protected] if you want to. and thanks for the comment. <3 |
| from billie--joe : |
| hey he hugged me to yeah i would love to go we have to beg and maybe we can ride with cat *slaps acros face*YOUR NOT FAT! |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| p.s. yeah, danielle, you seem like a total bitch. *rolls eyes* i can't imagine. you're so sweet to me. a lot of people think i'm a bitch anyways, so we'd probably fit right in with each other. ;) haha... anways... |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| lol :) i'm a little scared to ask... but what the hell does that mean? |
| from billie--joe : |
| ok YOU ARE NOT FAT YOU SKANKY HO! ♥ he he |
| from enurta : |
| you are so sweet and kind to me. i don't know what I've done to deserve it but i want to thank you. i love you too... <3 |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Heya love! I just thought you should know that you ARE brilliant. I hope all is well. Love ya lots! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Hey babe, no I didn't, but I shall look for it now! :) I love you!!!!!!!! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Well I won't tell anyone if you murder them! :D Your secret is safe with me! Ok, so I'm selling... some stuff at th moment, and I can come to get you soon or I can get you a flight. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I believe you Danielle. I trust you. I love you. It will work out soon and you can be happy! You are so amazing Danielle. You are the best thing in the world! I ♥ you with all my heart, sweet dream Miss Parker XOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOOXXOXOXXOXOXXOOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Lol, don't worry about the letter sweetie :) I'm just being annoying about it :P I do understand why it's hard to get it here, so I shall fix that by sending one first, ok? CONGRATS for you and Haley!!! :D 6 months! YIPPY!!!!! hahaha! Company? :S I hope they don't bitch to you :( If they do, just book the flight!!!!!!! I hate the way everyone treats you. I want to murder them all! I love you Danielle ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| aw. *hugs* i'm sorry you're in such a crappy mood. me too. i'm just so... irritated with this whole situation. with him. just when i start to get over him, move on, he does something to jepordize that and keep me within his grasp. it's all just a game to him. but it's so addicting, and i'm trying so hard to not fall victim, but it's not as easy as it sounds. :( anyway, i know what you mean... about just wanting to sleep. me too. all day and every day. but then there's the dreams- er nightmares? so there goes that idea. okay, sorry for rambling. <3 you! and yes, you ARE awesome damnit! |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| you know, that was exactly the message i was trying to convey. amazing, they way you were able to sum it all up into three words. |
| from pamperedpuma : |
| Hey can I have the password please? email me [email protected] =] Cxx |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Aww.. I love you Danielle. So much! Haley's mum is... um.. are.. TOTALLY NUTS! How could she do that!! :( And I know that "hand+shirt" thingo IS NOT true btw! I've like, memorised all of your diary lol, and there's nothing like that in their! One day she'll get her turn and everything will suck for her, so don't worry about it. If you get kicked out, you are coming to live with me. End of story. I'll get the money somehow. I will. I love you so much. ♥ ♥ |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Alright sweets, password please. Just remember I love ya and we're brilliant and I'm really sorry someone was snooping, people suck! Love ya! |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| people suck. who does she think she is anyways? ugh. i wish i had some answers for you, but i feel the same way. i don't know what to do. about anything. everything is so messed up. i wish i could just start over, erase the past and forget everything. anyway, i'm here if you need to talk. always. *hugs* |
| from tttragic : |
| can i have the pw, lovely? |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| please please please can i have the password? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I love you ♥ ♥ ♥ :P |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Because i don't FLIPPIN have your e-mail address you County High SKANK!!!!!!!!!! |
| from cat-45 : |
| Hey. Don't worry bout me. He'll be fine as long as Nannie stays on his back about the whole cigarettes at school thing. Yes Leslie is a whore. I feel bad for Gadge. That's like the meanest thing ever to do somebody. "GADGE I LOOOVE YOU I WANNA GO OUT WITH YOU!..... ooooo its Toke. TOKE I LOVE YOU I WANNA GO OUT WITH YOUUUU!!!" So Toke asks and Gadge is like dirt. Its mean and totally whore-ish. OMFG. Branden is no longer the drummer in the Used O_O!!! T_T That really sucks! She's probably mad at me now cause she invited herself along to hang out with me and Andrew and Andrew was kinda late so I was just like "Dude, I'm sick of waiting. I'm going home." and took her to her house. Then me and Caleb saw Andrew driving down the road and I did a u-turn and we went to the park. So yeah. We talked he took some pictures (of me that were very bad I'm sure because I don't know how to smile and look pretty). This morning Leslie pissed me off too. She said "Ooooh I like your headband. It'd look better with my hair, though." I was like No it wouldn't cause my hair is cooler than yours.so she asked Nate he said "Probably hers cause she's emo." Meaning me. In your face biotch! lol. Yeah this is super duper long. TTYL. <3 Cat |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yep, probaly. But the difference is that you're worth something you numb-nut!!! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| No such thing as 'too bad.' I love you. |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Hello dear, yes my mom can be a stupid bitch, but I have to love her because she's my mom, but no one ever said I had to like her. And Cass isn't a lucky guy, I'm a lucky girl hehe But now it's time for bed, thanks for the notes! I love ya to pieces! muahaha xoxoxoxoxo! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| P.S I love you. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I wuv wuv wuv wuv wuv wuv you! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Kill it! kill it! kill it! kill it! kill it!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH! KILL EVERYTHING! *throws knife at dog* |
| from razornotes00 : |
| You freaking freak! No, I won't kill the note :) I'm your stalker and I need it for evidence! Dude, how do you know that today was a school day for me? Are YOUUUUU stalking me!?!?!?!?!?!? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I love you ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| DUMB-ASS!!!!!!!! Go look at the last note you left me! :P *sighs* I'm glad I'm not the stupid one anymore :D |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| i'm glad you had a good time at the concert. =) you deserve a kick-ass happy day like that! |
| from billie--joe : |
| Yeah me to AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (screams) |
| from enurta : |
| you are so kind. thanks for the comment, and thanks for caring and loving me. you make a difference. I promise. and i am feeling a lot better today. <3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Shit shit shit!!! I mean T-E-N-N-E-S-E-E! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| T-E-N-N-A-S-E-E. Ya happy now LOOOOOSER? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You are SUCH a TEASE!!!!!!!!!! If it gets sent back, then I'll send you a nice baby pink bikini! And you have to wear it, because.. you wouldn't want to have any sort of bad luck *evil grin*. Anywho! I hope you have an awsome time at the concert today!!!! I love you! |
| from cat-45 : |
| get offa the internet loser! I gotta call you to disciss the concert! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| *looks in mail box* TOMORROW!!!!!!!! WOW! I can't wait! How long will it take to get here lol? Oh and TRUST me! I'll be able to read it no matter what! My writting is crazy! It has no style or pattern. It's just a bunch of crazy mumbo jumbo! Ok, well I hope you have a wonderful day at the concert tomorrow! I love you! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| No way! I love long letters!! Short ones just piss me off lol! What's the point in a short letter commin all the way from Tenasse (HOW THE %^$%* DO YOU SPELL THAT!?!?!?!?)! I can't wait to read it! POST IT! :D *checks mail box* I LOVE YOU |
| from billie--joe : |
| justy over look him |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| aw. :) that made me smile. & i haven't REALLY smiled all day, so thank you! you rock! i needed that. <3 |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| there's ALWAYS a point. sometimes it's just not as clear as it should be. i'm so sorry you're struggling right now, it just brakes my heart. *hugs* turn up the music & drown out the voices, okay? it helps, it really, really does. |
| from cat-45 : |
| That's cool. Thanks for being my hitman. I'll be yours too. =D And I'm glad I'm not as bad as Leslie. I'm still pretty mad about that whole thing btw. |
| from cat-45 : |
| I feel loveded. |
| from cat-45 : |
| Dont worry it'll get better! I ALREADY used one of your layouts. I put it up last night!! The Ville one!!!! =DDDDDD Treace out homey. lol. |
| from cat-45 : |
| try it now. Maybe it shall work. |
| from billie--joe : |
| ...........(disappionted)no coment..............:( :(=angry face.......... |
| from myonlyhope15 : |
| yeah, I suck. but I was wondering if you could put like a little quote thingy for my name on your journal? I don't know that seemed like a really good idea. and I'm sorry I haven't really been talking to you lately. I read your stuff, I just don't leave messages. I know it's weird. but I want to let you know, that I do read your stuff, and I hope your okay. and if your not, I hope you become happy. you should be. |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| who told you that you're a bad person? you're NOT! so what if you have a girlfriend? it's your life, do whatever the fuck you want. you can't help who you fall in love with, whether they're a different gender, race, whatever. they're still a person. that's all that matters. & if not believing in god makes you a bad person, then i guess i'm a bad person, too... ;) whatever. fuck people and their stupid closed-mindedness. cause you know what? i don't give a fuck either. ;) *hugs* |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| hunny i love you. remember that.whenever everything else is bad and cant get any better, just remember amanda loves you. and when you hurt herself your hurting her because she doesnt want to see you hurting.im really sorry that things arent going good for you.<33 i love you so much girl. |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| 97. I crossed it off because I made it there. Thanks, babe, for your concern. It means a lot. xx |
| from billie--joe : |
| woohoo you go gurlshow her whos boss!!! youe go gurl my mom is awesome and aunt linda better shut her bitchy mouth mom has done alot ok love ya bye |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| What book? |
| from readthisline : |
| hahha it could call for whining. I do a lot of that in my posts though. I'm sorry to hear that things aren't so well. I won't pry. I'm trying to keep positive about everything. I should try harder. Anorixea is a disease. I was trying to open my mind.. think of something different than just going; Yeah. You have problems. Thank you for caring. You don't know me, and I like that.. You care because of what I write, that's how you know me. You don't care about how I look. Or what my family is like.. Thanks. Now it's my turn, so if you'd every like to talk about anything.. I'm here, ok? xxx |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| i miss talking to you baby girl. how are you? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| *waits patiently for mail to arrive*.... *blinks*... *runs to letter box*... *waits*... *blinks*... |
| from razornotes00 : |
| You stupid County High SKANK! You always get the really cool diaries! You find all the juicy ones dammit! THAT'S WHAT I MENT! GRR! :P I LOVE YOU! |
| from readthisline : |
| You helped me enough by just posting that message.. thank you. I don't mean to bitch and whine.. but I can't help it. I cry at least 3 times a day. Just small things that I wouldn't in general do by myself. Like eat. Or have Father's Day. Watch a movie. Catch a cab.. it hurts. I hope things are well for you. I'm going to read and catch up. I'm so tired right now though.. I finished work at after 10:00 pm. All the best beautiful xxx |
| from billie--joe : |
| im sorry :( |
| from cat-45 : |
| don't worry she won't tell bz if she does I'll leave. I swear I will walk right out of this house and never ever come back. She doesn't wanna talk to your uncle anyway. She's scared of him. lol. it'll be ok. SMILE! LAUGH! B MERRY! or else *cough*gage*cough* mwa ha ha ha! He's an evil little demon! |
| from billie--joe : |
| (screams)OMG! you little skank im going to beat the **** out of you you little loser (happy voice)k bye love ya |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Lol, you're gone now huh? I hope you enjoy the rest of your day! I love you ♥ |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| Of course you deserve to be happy!!You're amazing! You deserve all the happiness in the world! & You're not alone. I know you have a lot of people that care about you, including me. <3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| LOL! ahahhaahahaaa! Are you still there? I left a long note for you on your other diary just then! READ IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!! I Love you! Please don't leave me! I wanna talk to you!!!! READ IT!!! Sorry, that was demanding :S BUT READ IT NOW Danielle Nicole Parker!!! ♥ Georgia Eve Raph XOXOXOXOXOX |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Hahahahahah! Pencils? I hope you sharpen it very well lol :P Ok, my full name is just a really boring, "plain Jane" sorta name. I'll tell you if you tell me yours first heheh! AWWWW! You felt sad? :( You should feel happy that we know eachother! I don't want to make you sad :S I want you as happy as a little willy-wag-tail (that's a baby bird, incase you don't know). We're gonna see eachother Danni! And when we do, I'm going to shed tears of happiness for the first time in my life! I love you so much! You can write to me anytime if you want, you don't have to just 'imagine' it :P When you're ready, I'll send you the address.. OMG! I can send you pictures of Oz Town!!!! :D Ok, I'm getting too excited now! *holds back tears* I love you Danielle. ♥ ♥ |
| from razornotes00 : |
| You're not an evil bitch!!! Just out-going lol. Jokes! Thank you for being so NICE!!! I love you! You're so kind!!!!! Does Haley still think I'm trying to take you away from her lol? AWWWWWWWWWW! Britt must have looked so cute!!!! hehe! I can just imagine it! I gotta go now, sorry! Mum just got home! ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from cat-45 : |
| duuude! I wish Pakistanese people read my diary!! lol. |
| from cat-45 : |
| I think she's like 25 or something somewhere around that region. |
| from cat-45 : |
| yes!!!!!! yaaay!!!!!!!!!!! He knows my cousin is taking us right? |
| from cat-45 : |
| dude. she should get her own ride. If he says no I'll freaking kid nap you any way! |
| from cat-45 : |
| ha ha. You only need $3!!!!!!! YAY!! |
| from cat-45 : |
| He better let you go. It costs $7. ONLY $7 to see one of the BEST bands in the WORLD! Amazing? Yes I think so. |
| from cat-45 : |
| Not stupid. hee hee. I should go check out those suicide books and see if she reports me to the guidance counselor. lol. Gosh. My mom wants to talk on the phone. She just got off! grrr... I'll ttyl. <333333333 Catherine catastrophe |
| from cat-45 : |
| dude. that is the best background evah! lol. Love you Danielle!!! Cat |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| hey, i e-mailed it to your razor diaryland e-mail addy.... so hopefully you have that forwarded to your e-mail.. if not let me know & i'll re-send it to the other addy. |
| from tttragic : |
| ♥ ♥ ♥ |
| from shes-dying : |
| You're a nice person aren't you? I like your latest entry it seems happy, thats nice to see :) |
| from shes-dying : |
| Hey... thank you...i feel...well i'm alot calmer than i was. I'm just shaky now. Thanks for caring, it means a lot. x |
| from enurta : |
| yeah...i like staind's old music, not so sure about their current sound though. Do they have a new album? Maybe I'll download it later or something. Thanks for the sweet note! I love you back <3 |
| from billie--joe : |
| aww im sorry i didnt mean to make you fell sad(cough cough) and because you never kiss me but anyways im going to still your templet ha ha ah k bye |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| I'm sorry, parents suck like that sometimes. But I'm glad you're in a good mood :D. I don't think things with the guy who asked me out are gonna work. He's moving too fast, or wants to, and I keep trying to tell him that I am fucking crazy and things need to be slow. I don't know why he's not getting it, I mean, he knows I am pretty much in love with the best friend. o.o bah. Now I'm in a crummy mood. <3 |
| from cat-45 : |
| that jendee chick. She came out the door and almost stood on top of me. hee hee, I took her corner. Not my fault she's slow. I was just talking to Nate. She was like making out with Michael (gag a maggot) so I (to avoid vomiting all over Nate) went back into my classroom. lol. And that is a true story. Man, I wish you could come over here, but my mom said definitely nobody this weekend. She thinks we all get too loud. =( Remember when I broke my ass cause I jumped on the wall? Yeah, that hurt. OK! Lets go to Austrailia and get Georgia!! =D woo! <i>and</i> see Jim Morrison??? sweeeeeeeet!!!!!!! Well, his grave anyways.... yay! |
| from cat-45 : |
| hello disastrous danielle. Art thou making fun of my idiocy? I know, its retarded, which is why I did it. I'm making a stand. And to see what leslie puts as hers.... lol. I am so evil. Don't you looove it? I'm still pushing the bounds of reality as far as they'll go (without help from narcotics, depressants, hallucinogens, etc., that is.)and having a damn fun time diong it! I have blisters on my fingers from those damn spray paint cans, but it was worth every minute of gruelling work painting the field just to a) get to chill with Calli-boy and b) get to see Nate race some other dude from one end of the feild to the other while carrying a bunch of string that was dragging the ground. I'm surprised they didn't fall.... *evil grin* ha ha. I shouldn't have shared my coke with him. He called me an emo bitch again. and then laughs. and laughs some more. and then pretends to cry in the corner and then I got run over b/c apparently some girl thought I was the wall. Which made Nate laugh even more. and things with calli-boy are not going well. not well at all. He doesn't like screamo, he won't gimme back my cd, he's probably lost my cd. ah. too long I'm going to take a shower and go to bed, I feel disgusting. Yah, I've worked too hard today. lol. adios! Catherine (catastrophe) lol. |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| Too much burrito. I can't usually finish them even when my stomach is all stretched out from eating normally, so I guess I should have expected this. That's why horror movies are so great! They're all so ridiculous, oh man. It's awesome. I'm sorry about your mom. How come she's in jail? Good, go lay down, I'll talk to you later :D |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| Funny stuff is pretty cool too. I just threw up half of mister burrito. Or what I hope was half. Whoops. I wish they weren't so freaking big >.< Pulse is about some chick who's boyfriend gets killsed and then she starts getting scarey scarey messages and emails and crap and some Ultimate Evil is unleashed and they have to Save The World. It's gonna be awesome. Aw, thank you, love. You deserve to be happy too :D |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| My favorite color is green, but not forest green or blue green, like bright vibrant kinda darkish green. Like plant leaf green but a little brighter, you know? I'd ask you yours but I already know it's black :D. I'm not sure why my archives don't work... it works for me. What browser are you using? That might be it. I use Firefox. Oh god I'm eating right now after not eating in like six days and I have this totally huge burrito and I can't finish it and I feel so full and I hate wasting food but I think I'm gonna have to throw this out. Burritos are great, though. I hope stuff with this guy works out too, I think it might be good for me, you know? Our first date is next Saturday (not tomorrow, the next one) and I think we're gonna go see Pulse. I love horror movies. What's your favorite kind of movie? <3 |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| Hee hee, I don't know if I like him yet. He's been a friend of mine for a couple of years so I've never really looked at him like that. I said yes, though. He's sweet and cute and I think there is potential. And yeah, I totally hate it when people are crazy too. I just read your entry and I'm glad to see you're doing better! Hahaa, you're like a little bunny rabbit, hopping around, nose twitching. Aaww. I get all excited about colors too. I insist on knowing EVERYONE's favorite and I have no idea why. Anyway yeah you really should email me. <3 |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| Ahh jeez I'm so sorry, that's awful! Your girlfriend has every right to be worried, but I understand nonetheless. It is sort of hard to explain how he is being crazy. Like, he was really cool and worried about me early in the week, and now he's being all flaky and distant and I hate it when he's like this. At least we're not fighting though. Yet. That sucks you're not allowed to have messengers too. Nothing at all? What about email? Mine is hate_thisplace (at) hotmail.com :D. You should email me some time. Emails rock. |
| from billie--joe : |
| ha ha ha i find the IDIOT ha ha ha YOU HIPPIE... dun dun DUN>>>>ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| Eep, you should get AIM. I'm doing better. My friend goes away to college tomorrow (August 25th) so that's a little depressing, but it's close buy and I should be able to see her sometimes. The best friend is being pretty psychotic. But other than that, things are good, I think. What about you? How are you? :) |
| from tttragic : |
| im glad youre happy, because happy is good. ♥! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Gah. I love you!!!!! I'm so friggin' happy that you have been happy today! :D WOO-HOO! You/Cat got 100!! SWEET. What did it look like? How is she going by the way? :S Is she alright, or still a little down? Oh, yeah I'm fine darling! :) Always and forever! I've been leaving notes at x-razor-x too, have you seen them? Meh. I love you. Thank you for everything!! ♥ ♥ |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| But it's true! Aaawww. Do you have AIM? |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| I think I'll be okay. I'm pretty sure I don't have the willpower to keep doing this forever, you know? But thank you for the concern. You really are a sweetheart, and I appreciate it. <3 |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| Thank you, doll. You're a sweethear, you know that? <3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Aw. Sweetie. Just cry. It's ok :) There's nothing wrong with doing so. Um. Have you taken anti-depressents before? If you have, then I've got no idea, but I do know that everythime my meds get changed, for about 2 weeks I get quite sick. I do get dizzy and I shake too. So it'll be fine. Your body is adjusting to it :) I'll pray for you to dream sweetly tonight! I love you so much ♥ I'm always here for you! Take care *licks your cheek* :D |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| aw... don't take the pills if they make you feel like shit. *hugs* it's okay to cry, you know... let it all out. i hope you are able to get some sleep... <3<3<3 |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Oh bugga! That c3/4 thingo was supposed to be a heart! Gah. Sorry honey! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| You're not an idiot you friggin IDIOT! Lol, just kidding. You're the best person in the whole world! I love you so much! Please don't think badly of yourself! I �� YOU. Oh ok, so does that mean you'll go? I hope so :) It won't be as bad as you think darl! Just take it one step at a time honey. YES guys! Ha! I'd love to find some hotties for you over here... but.. like.. There ain't many that I've seen! :D I hope your art project works out! XOXOXOXOXOXXO |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| Im happy school is good. Yeah it does take up a lot of time.Yeppers ill be a freshy this year.Mhhmm i am way ahead of my generation when it comes to what i have done. =/ But thats okay.Im super happy that everything is better.I use to have my sister draw EVERYTHING for me when i had projects due.i always got away with it. haha. Anyway, dont worry about getting back to meif you dont have time sweetie. And have as much fun as possible. <33 you babydoll. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| No sweetie, I ment are you going to see another psychologist. Like, did you and your aunty decide to do that or just sort it out between you and her. Don't be nervous though! :) It's gonna be FINE darl! I'm sure of it!! Just relax and take it easy honey. I love you <3 |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Thank you so much!!! I'm glad you liked it, cuz I'm in love with it. I'm glad you think I win, I better win! I will force him to lose, muhahaha:-D Love ya Danielle!!! |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| hi sweetiepie hunny bunch :] im so glad that you are happy about all the classes. i really hope taht they are better for you!How have you been latey, we havnt talked in awhile.last time we talked you wnated to burn down the school, heehee. well message me or comment me on myspace or leave a note on hurr. love you babydoll. :] amanda |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| aw. =) you're so nice to me. i love you! *hugs* thanks for everything... (you're still the best.) |
| from razornotes00 : |
| HELL yeah cheek licking is cool!! :D (Ha, I was at the shops with Kate, my friend, and I was licking her cheek and neck all the time in frount of these dudes she thought were really "hot" Ha, the gard dude said "You two lick eachother a lot, are you lovers?" Hehe, It was freaky! He also said we should get a room! Gah, O well.) AND HELL yeah Go HALEY!!! I ♥ HER! She's gonna come too? I hope so! *hugs you both* *licks your cheek* I hope ya new shedual will be more exciting! :) And I know you probaly don't wanna talk about this, but about the psychology... hint hint. You didn't answer before :/ It's TOTALLY COOOOL if you don't want me to know though! I love you Danni-pooh!!!! ♥ |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| i'm pretty good. tired (as always) but happy. how about yourself? |
| from beatnbroken : |
| I'm just very tired and run down, a little more than stressed out. Ryan is pissing me off as always, but don't worry I will fight through this. How are YOU doing? I love you!!!! |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| no, honey, it's okay<3 |
| from lonelyloser : |
| the password to my diary is reckless |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| Hey sexy. Well i love telling you the truth and i would take a whole month out of my life just to talk to you if it makes you smile! And yeah she really pisses me off.She is like wayyy rich.Like yeah i know i have money and all but she is loaded.And everything i get she grabs her mommys credit card and goes out and buys something 10x more expencive then what i bought. Cause im like the queen of Chanel at my school.Like purses, sun glasses, jewlry and all, she goes out and buys this necklace last week. which was ugly but more expensive then my new earings. i was like bitch! I dont know, she doenst make sense. But im over it. She jsut stresses me out so much. Like last night she was mad at me. Well like at 5 in the morning she just has to talk to me about this guy that hurt her. im like oh jeeze. then she was liek i dont know what to do and such and then she was like im sorry for earlier. im like no problem you only woke me up to listen to all this bullshit. AHHH people drive me soo crazy. Not to mention i went tanning a few days ago. And the tanning bed was so hott and i burnt my ass.So now it kills. lol. But yeah,i wish i went to your school so i could hang out with you and be like this girl is the best thing in the world so deal with it bitches.haha :] love you cutie. manda |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Hell NO! It doesn't freak me out at all! Say what you want sweetie! :) *licks your cheek* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! FREAKKKKKKY! :D You don't need to tell me all those things you said by the way.. yeah. Anyway, I say: BURN THAT DAMN SCHOOL DOWN! I wanna see you in the newspaper! :) "Crazy girl burns skanky posh school down!!" ha. So, it's GRRRREAT that Hale's is all good now. But what was the story? (if you don't mind me asking). :( Dammit. She cuts. NO! Please tell her... um.. Like.. NOTTTTT TO DO IT! Or I'll make sure she has to repeat another year of school! Grr. What is e.d.s? It's a good thing that she (Britt) doesn't like them, right? :) If she gets like, all "I wanna be skinny," then I'll make sure the world is rid of all chocolate!!!!! hahahahaha! It's all going in my room. FAR FAR away from her! *throws chocolate bar in bedroom* :D *Sprints back to get it!!! Then scoffs it!!* *drewls* Ok, so you don't have to come to Oz town darl, I can come to y'all! Just gotta find where America is on the map first lol. Oh yeah! I forgot to ask you when your theripy thingo starts or if you were gonna do that. I don't remember. I love YOU! Have a great day/night!!! ♥ Ha. In your FACE! :P |
| from wiltedxdaisy : |
| hey you. =) it's jadedxx. i'll be using this name from now on... just wanted to let you know. take care. |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| Well i love you. And i think you should burn the school down. Bring a cigarette one day and light it in the bathroom and curl it up in a the corner of the bathroom with a bunch of papers. hehe i always wanted to do that. I know it sucks having moodswings when your around people.And im sorry you cant smile. Cause then everyone always thinks something is wrong even though secretly everything is wrong you cant put on that fake smile. i hope everything works out for you babe. Remember. Dont let yourself think your not beautiful on the outside or inside.When you think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread, everyone will think it too. No matter what you look like. Your beautful and i love you. <3 :] manda |
| from jadedxx : |
| thank you so much. you really are too good to be true. you have no idea how much your support means to me... it's nice to know that someone is there, that someone actually cares. you are amazing. i don't know why you would even want to read my diary, but thank you. thank you, thank you, thank you. you're just... wow. |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Yes I'm fine! I loved your note it was cute..Danielle is my worried parent :-D! I just cut my chin and it's bruised and I have cuts on my hands and chest. But it's healing. I just felt like an idiot. Ya but how are you doing? I love your other diary by the way, it makes me feel special that I get to read it :-D Anywho have a good day! I love ya!!! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Reply to your convo: GAH! Don't like it when people just "happen" to have to go away :( I was really getting into that, then she HAD to GO!!!!!!!!!!!! Gosh. This is all like a drama show that I just can't wait to see un-folding! I ♥ YOU |
| from razornotes00 : |
| :( Whoa.. Haley seems really sad and confused about something. I feel like I'm actually a part of your lives (LOL!!!!!) and like I know her a bit :/ I kinda 'feel' for her. I know her pain. I don't know what it's about either.. Maybe she's just feeling down on herself. Has she ever, like, hurt herself before? Maybe she could be going through that. Or maybe 'home' is up setting her. I know she loves you so much though, Danielle. Don't get too worked up about it though. Monday will come soon and what's ment to hppen, will happen. All will work out soon. I love you. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| HA! I'm back!! YOU LOVE HALEY!! :D and you love me! I love you too!!!!!! And I love that you love Hales!! It's so cute! :D hahahah! I know something you don't know how to do! doo-dah doo-dah doo-dah! K, the heart thing... I"M NOT GONNA TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! :P XOXOXOXOXOX |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Reply to note number one: Don't worry, the note has been killed. How can it be alive if the person who posted it is dead. You're seeing things lol :P Ha. I think I'll keep leaving those note just cause it peez you off! :) Ok. Um. Oh shit. I forgot what I was gonna write!! grr! (10 mins later)..... Wait. I gotta go and read what you wrote again. Be back in a tick <3 |
| from deanna123 : |
| It has already taken a LONG while and I'm begining to run out of patients. But thanks for the pep talk... I need that sometimes. <3 |
| from tttragic : |
| i know EXACTLY how you feel. |
| from readthisline : |
| Oh you're so sweet! You're not a screw-up. I feel like a screw-up 99%of the time. I think you're great, and kind, and sweet. And you're loved by all of us here.. well me a lot anyway!!! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Hehe, I had to leave a note for myself so that everyone saw that I knew how to do this= ♥ hahhahahahah! Anyway, I would LOVE to read what she wrote to you! I've always wondered about her.. You know.. What she's like and stuff. Cause I don't know anything lol. TOTALLY COOOOOOL if you wanna keep it that way though! :) Yes darling I'm fine! And eating! And leaving it in lol :P HA! I was feeling sick BECAUSE I ATE something I shouldn't have :) Are you eating Danielle? I reall hope so. You're so important to me and I would hate for you to deprive yourself :(.. Oh. My. Gosh. Your entry was beautiful!! Aww. It was either from Haley or your Aunty? Man, I wish I had wordsa as wise as that *sighs* It's wonderful. AND TRUE!!!! We are all here to help you. Care for you and to be with you. Forever. No matter what Danielle, I'm here for you. I love you so much. |
| from cat-45 : |
| why are you scared? |
| from readthisline : |
| Oh.. why the sad face? I missed you if that's any consolation.. xxx |
| from billie--joe : |
| aww (nice templet) |
| from enurta : |
| you are so sweet <3 i don't know what to say, you left me speechless. love you too xxx |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Ha. I mean Friday night ALONE! lol, sitting in the dark by myself with no other being in the house (let alone the friggin street!). But actually, it was ok :) I don't mind being alone. It's relaxing. Peaceful. Ya know? Sorry to hear that school is getting worse for you :( Just ignore all those stupid stuck-ups and air heads! They're not worth it. Just focus on you my dear, and your close friends (if you want lol). Gah. I'm crap at giving advice!! :P Well, I'm just sayin don't let the dickheads get to you, ok?! :) I love you so much. You are stronger than them! <333333 |
| from jadedxx : |
| aw. :) thank you so much. that was really sweet of you. see? you ARE the best. ;) *hugs* |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Ya Danielle I hope I can beat it, I know I can. It will just take time. So can you though. Just hang in there. I always try to find one good part of the day and focus on it and sometimes it makes me feel a little better. I love you girl! |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| i love you more then words could like describe. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Aww. Thank you Danielle. :) Just the thought of you hugging me, makes me want to scream but bawl my eyes out at the same time! I would normaly apologise for being so... hmm.. needy and attached lol, but it's my job now, so I can do what I want! :P I love you!!!!! Ok, school starts at like 7:30 then???!!! :-0 WHOA! That's early! How far away do you live from school? Yeah, we have those belly thingos too. *rolls eyes* They scare the crap out of me EVERYTIME!!! Um.. Oh yeah!! You didn't tell me whether everyone can just 'run out' when the class change over bell goes? Ok, I shall go now.. TA TA! I <3 U |
| from jadedxx : |
| aw, thank you. you're so sweet. :) i'm glad i'm not in school anymore. ugh... hated it. with a passion. i remember comparing schedules w/ friends, realizing i had no classes w/ over half of them. it's like some kind of damn conspiracy to keep you from seeing your friends. total bullshit. anyway, *hugs* |
| from billie--joe : |
| SHUT Up loser!!!!!!!!! |
| from beatupinside : |
| no problem. =] |
| from billie--joe : |
| if you bite me one more time im going to get my donoman Kenny to bite you LOSER!!!!!!!! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| LOL! I got it now! Ha. I'm so stupid. You must think I'm two years old! Umm... Well it wasn't early over here when I sent it. It was 8am. We start at 8 'til 2:40pm, but we uaually get let out at 3pm *rolls eyes.* I was running a bit late though ;) Not on purpouse... of corse *evil grin* What time do you start and finish school? This may seem like a really stupid thing to ask.. but is it true that when the 'bell' goes over there, everyone can just get up and leave..? Or is that just in the movies lol? I'm sorry, but i have to ask. I love you Danni-pooh! <3333333333333 |
| from heartfuck- : |
| who are you? i have no idea. i also have no idea how you found me. |
| from mypurplesky : |
| haha you can read and leave all the notes you want it won't bother me. my diary really isn't that interesting though. but if that doesnt stop you... lol |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I don't quite get what you mean when you asked whether it was pretty over here in the mornings or not, lol, but I think it's pretty in the morning here when it's raining. :) Umm.. Well it's all pretty until I see other people. Meh. I dunno. Is it pretty there? And nope, size 18 doesn't mean anything to me babe. I swear to God. I love you with all my heart. You're probaly sick of hearing that huh? But I do, and nothing can change it. I totaly know how you feel today.. Numbness is horrid :( Ya just can't seem to creat an expression on your face, or move at all, or be bothered breathing. And that ain't even the begining! :( But worst case is one week of it. It usually lasts for one-three days though. Well when it happens to me I mean. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you! :) Tomorrow is Wednesday, so does that mean you start school then? If so- I really hope you have a FANTASTIC day :D Just atke it easy and look after yourself darlin' I <3 U XOOXOOX |
| from mypurplesky : |
| i just wanted to say, thank you for your comment. that was so nice of you. thank you :) |
| from jadedxx : |
| yeah, me either. oh well. it's just... strange. a lot of the things you write... i don't know, i guess i just can relate, you know? anyway *hugs* sorry you're not doing too well. i'm here for you, you know. if you ever need someone, okay? |
| from razornotes00 : |
| You sound sad thismorning.. What's up baby doll? Please tell the truth. About the weight thingo. gah. 90kilos is still really small and esspacialy over here lol. I bet you've got a slamin' figure anyway! :) I really don't care what you look like though. As they say "love makes you blind." :) So there-fore I'm blinded! Ok, your entry: You do what you want. You feel how you want. Focus on one side of that pretty brain of yours (the positive sode of corse lol), just stick to it. Don't let those hurtful thoughts bring you down.. Things will fall into place soon, alright darl. Everything's gonna work out. I love you so much Danielle. Anything you need, just come to me ok?! I hope you have the best day in the world!!! I <3 U xoxo |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Oh and I forgot to say that guys/girls don't care anymore about appearences. Honestly. There are some jerks out there who want the barbies and all. Pffft. But they're decreasing these days :) Put it this way, you know Aaron? Well, he's 5 (or maybe 4... I don't remember) years older than me, and he can get anyone who's pretty much plastic and whatever. But he chose me. And I'm sure as hell ain't plastic! I'm like... METAL! lol And he loves me for what I am (well.. for what he thinks I am anyway). And I liked him for who he was too. Ok.. enough about me and my sad love life lol. Do you understand what I mean? hope so.. Anywho, about you seeing the phsycologist. I know you feel nervous, but seriously, everything will be F.I.N.E! :) You can do this! If it all gets too much for you, you can always ask to talk to him/her alone or something. Ok I <333333333333333333 U |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Ok, I'm still a little confused about the pounds thing.. But I know that 10 Mary-kates still isn't fat! Ok, so today in math I figured out how much one pound was lol, and it is 0.453 grams. So that means 100 pounds is 45 kilos. MOTHER @#$^%!!!! That's nothin!! So two times nothing is 90 kilos... plus a little more.. 91 kilos. Wait... So you're like 204 pounds? *cough cough* I DON'T THINK SO!!!!! I'm about 2 million Mary-kates and a few Lindsay Lohan's! lol. Seriously Danielle, I don't think you're fat at all. I never will. And I don't mean to sound bitchy with this, but your friends are fucked up if they REALLY think that what the scale says is what matters. I don't like it at all. They should be ashamed. It is what's on the inside that counts. Pleople who judge what's on the outside are people who have ugly insides. Appearence does play a big role in todays society, but when you're older.. EVERYONE knows that it's what you have on the inside that counts. Scales do not say anything!! They just dish out random numbers to everyone. They're nothing. The heart is something though. The soul is something. The mind is something. The spirit is something. And you are something. Something so great. Danni, no matter what you weigh, what you wear, what you smell like, where you live, how you feel, who your friends are, who your parents are, who your cousin is or what snob school you go to lol :P I honestly don't give a hoot. HELL NO! I don't bloody want you to throw up! AHH. No way! I'm so proud o you for WHO you are and I don't want you to hurt in anyway. Look how far you've come Danni. It's amazing. I love you with all my heart <333333 |
| from beatnbroken : |
| HI! I just want you to know that no matter what happens I love you Danielle! We are brilliant remember? That's you and me=we so therefore you are brilliant! Just hang on girlie because I need you here. Things have gotten a lot better for me since you became my friend :-D Just remember to be strong and that I love you! xoxoxo |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| Well i love you a lot. And i want you to be happy. So thank you very much for caring about me. :] :] :] :] :] :] manda |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| you could weigh 500 pounds or you could weigh76[trust me i was 76 pounds not to long ago and it sucked ass]You would be the most beautiful person in the world. i could care less what everyone else had to say about you, i would look at you and see the most gorgeous person on the face of the planet. No matter what you look like or how much you weigh, you truely are a wonderful girl. And your looks arent going to change that. Ever! i love you so much :] |
| from razornotes00 : |
| AHHH! Dude, I have like, 5 seconds before I have to be at school, so this is a quick note and then after school I'll make an extension, ok?? DUUDEEEE! I don't care at ALL about what you weigh dammit! I don't know what 100 pounds is though. But it can't be much. I still don't think you're fat Danielle. I never will. All I see is the beautiful young lady inside, who I love with all of my heart and soul. You're so smart and just BLOODY amazing dammit!!! I LOVE YOU DANNI-POOH-BOOP-A-DOOP!!!!! I love you, no matter what you look like. I think everyone's beautiful, ask anyone who knows me. They'll say I'm crazy cause I always say someone is looking fab today or whatever! Thank you for being so supportive about my 'good day' :) It reallly made me feel awsome! Oh, and about the fav list thingo... It's just cause I was mad at ONE person who was pissing me off. grr. But I don't mind if you take me off or not. Ok G2g. I love you!!!!! Have a GREAT day!!! <333333 |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| I love you and i think you are gorgeous x954937584537. you have to remeber, beauty only counts on the inside. i dont give a shit if you are the hottest bitch on theface of the earth, if you got a shitty heart then you aint shit. And you have a beautiful heart that is caring and loving.So thats all you need. Im sure your look gorgeous no matter what you wear. You are a beautiful person and i love you a lot. Remeber that, mk? <33 you gorgeous. [aaamanda :] |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Oh my GOD! I can't believe you hate shopping too!!!! YAY! Now I know I'm not the only one! You shouldn't hate your body though :( I bet when you turn side ways everyone goes "Holy shit! Where the fuck did Danielle go?!?!" And I KNOW you're not ugly!! No-one on this Earth is ugly (except one, which we all know who that is). Whe you said that you can never find clothes in your size, did you mean because they don't make size xxxxxxxs, or something? :/ I think I may have seen Hocus Pocus... Is that the one where the roses grow after the dude is burried in the ground. Then he comes back to life. And one of the girls/witches finds her "true love" with a guy who has one blue eye and one green eye? lol. The clothes you bought sound REALLY wikkid by the way! :D Umm.. Oh yeah "What's been going on with my friends and I?" Umm.. Well the stuff with my mates. It's a long story. But everything is fine and 'back to normal' now. I usually don't get envolved in all the drama crap, but it just got me this time. meh. O well. Umm.. nothing's really going on with me at the moment. Well nothing DIFFERENT anyway. Golly! There's so much I don't write about in Dland. Ha. So that's a good thing lol. I'm really proud of you for standing up to your uncle and for believeing that you can get better and that you can beat this and your friend. I believe it too :) I really wanna hug you!!!!!! AHH! I love you so much! <333 |
| from ilubjermy956 : |
| username: poop. password: poop. don't worry about it, haha. i'm not really that lame. well...i am actually but i had to keep it something simple. the 'rents don't believe in respecting privacy. <3 |
| from tttragic : |
| no problem, babe. glad to have new friends. |
| from tttragic : |
| yup. username: destination pw: darkness |
| from jadedxx : |
| and i thought i was the only one who hated shopping... anyways, good for you, standing up for yourself. :) not always an easy task, but i'll bet you felt 10x better after you did. hope all is well with you. |
| from billie--joe : |
| acually 19 WOW lay off the mountain dew |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| No!your notes arent stupid at all. And thanks, i think you are a wonderful person and im glad that i have you to talk to when and if i need someone.Yeah,i def wish it wouldnt have happened. Its hard to get off my mind and stuff but yeah. Im dealing with it. Love you very much<3 [manda] |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yes you can help!! :D You can up-date in x-razor-x!! lol pretty please! I really miss reading it :( I still read this diary of corse! But when you're ready, please up-date. Just thought I'd let you know that you should never say that you don't expect me to reply to every single note!! Because I WILL! I've replied to all your notes today! Even the little baby one that got left out a long time ago :) I hope everything is starting to look up at home, I really do! I love you so much! <3 |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| GOOD. Rainbows = yes |
| from cat-45 : |
| ha ha! He's off my top whatever too! I feel mean..... oh well, he shouldn't be an assie. |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| Thanks babe. im actually not that okay. i feel completly empty inside. my whole body hurts right now. i cant stop crying. i just wish i would have done something to prevent it. i feel like so incredibaly stupid and like i keep thinking how could i let this happen? i dont know but thank you for being so nice. <33 |
| from cat-45 : |
| ok that;s it. You're living with me! |
| from beatupinside : |
| just use guest as the username and melanie as the password |
| from pain-relief : |
| haha yea I think it�s sort of solved now. hehe. Friday was just so boring, Saturday was really good =P SO hopefully it�ll stay that way. hehe |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Hey baby doll, I firstly want to appologise for not replying to the note you sent me a while ago.. It was a long note that had some deep emotions in it.. And we all know how I get with those! Don't get me wrong, I seriously love it when you do that, but I didn't reply to it cause it really struck me. Took hold of my heart. and. squeezed. It really took my breath away and I didn't know how to respond to it. Probaly makes no sence to ya. Just know that I'm sorry. Alright? :) Anyways, I have a confession :( HAHAHAHAAH! I do that too!! (about the notes thingo) I'm so ashamed that I do it... *sighs* But hey! I have an excuse!!! I'm your stalker, so it's my job to do that! :P Are we even now lol? I really hope you and ya Aunt get things out soon. I know what you mean about not wanting to just tell her everything. Do you feel like if you do that then someone has stolen from your soul.. Like you don't have a secret left for yourself.. you've been robbed of all pride and securtiy, kinda thing? Just tell her babe.. You can gain secrets and power/control of yourself after you get better, or while you're getting better. If you think about it, it's really the only thing that can be done.. You didn't make me feel "challenged" lol, it comes natural for me anyway :P I like Cat's myspace a lot hehe! Oh and I like the picture of you she has up LOL! It's sooooo cute! :D Can I take a look at your myspace please? If that's ok? You can get all "fixed up" my friend ok?! I love you so flippin much! You're perfect! You can do this cause you're strong and you have all these people that care for you on Dland and outsite of the internet world too lol, alright. I love you with all my little broken heart! Thank you for everything!!!!!!! XOXOXO |
| from cat-45 : |
| Dropping Daylight... They're coming to Buzzfest so I'm putting up some posters. I got lots of stuff For DD I got pins, posters, and demo cd's and for Flyleaf I got stickers and Demo cd's. Its called swag and you're supposed to pass it out to random cool looking people. We need to go to Hot Topic and pass some out while checking out sexy emo guyses. =) |
| from cat-45 : |
| YES!! FUCK YES! I mean... cool. He better. woo! PARTAY! ha ha. We gotta put up some posters in town.... which should be fun. And of course we'll hafta put one in the pig. I'll keep you from launching yourself at allison and ripping out her tonsils. =) Or maybe I won't. It just depends on if I'm distracted or not.... =) hee hee..... |
| from cat-45 : |
| AH yes. The whore must die. Did you read the other comment on the other diary? GO READ IT NOOOOOW! =D SMI ah LE! Bert..... <3 |
| from readthisline : |
| lmao! I'm glad that I'm not the only one who get told off for being on the internet too much. It's nice to have someone understand lol. I'm sure that if my mum knew how to work the internet - let alone turn on the TV without managing to press every goddamn button on the remote, therefore screwing up the whole system process hahha.. it's a sad world. But I like it. |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| I AM BACK...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| from roamany : |
| You're by no stretch of the imagination stupid. I wish the best for you and think you are a really sweet and genuine girl...there aren't a lot of those anymore these days. <3 |
| from enurta : |
| you are so sweet, kind and loving! you must be a very beautiful person that a lot of people love. thanks for encouraging me and making me feel better, your words mean the world to me and have probably saved my life more than once. <3 |
| from unrequited-- : |
| haha, i know! i posted it because it totally describes what i'm going through right now. thanks for the note =] |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| thanks so much. its hard sonce i never was really over him to begin with but what can you do. guys will be assholes, its how it works. oh well, love you girl and thanks again! <3 |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Well have a good night then! and rest that brain ;-D xoxoxo! |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Thanks! Ya it was awesome, I was jamming out and laughing and smiling...all by myself. It was only a hundred degrees out hehe but it wasn't bad sometimes I just need to get away. You should try it, it worked wonders for me today. Thanks for the notes earlier :-D Anyway ttyl! xoxoxo |
| from pain-relief : |
| Yea I�m sure we will as well. =) Thanks =) |
| from pain-relief : |
| Well only like two or maybe three weeks. And haven�t seen each other that much as he lives like over an hour away with public transports. So we see each other when we can, and so on. But well yea we weill figure it out somehow. Well thanks for wanting to help. Always feels nice to know that people cares and want to help. =) |
| from pain-relief : |
| well yea that�s true. although we haven�t been together for that long. So i mean i guess we�ll feel later what�s going to be the best for us. I dunno, the difficult thing is that it�s not only i�m leaving the country, I live halfway across the world. it�s quite a distance. and we wont see eachother again for a whole year. I�m thinking, having a distance relationship, could it be too early? and maybe feel too serious? I dunno, I just feel happy for having the time that we have, and sad because I know that i�m leaving and wont be seeing him for quite some time. |
| from pain-relief : |
| hey thanks for the note. Yea it�s gonna be tough. But somehow we�ll get through it. the otughest part though is neither of us knows what to do. If we�re going to stay together or just break up. But well, � guess we�ll see. |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Okay I officially love you...I was sittin here crying and feeling sorry for myself and I got your note and it made me laugh. Thank you. And if I don't need to cry myself to sleep then neither do you. Seriously, it messes with your sleep. I had the most twisted dreams last night. But please try to hold on and stay strong because you are one of the things that gets me through each day. You are helping me more than you know and I would like to be able to help you too. Thank you so much for that note :-D much love! |
| from razornotes00 : |
| NOT A SINGLE MOTHER FUCKING GRAM OF ANNOYANCE DANNI-POOH!!!!!! It is not selfish or annoying when you write things like that, ok? I don't really know how to put it, but really honey... We love you for who you are and we will always respect you! I'll never doubt in who you are, what you do or anything! I'll never loose faith in you, I'll never be disappointed in you- no matter what you do, and I'll never judge you. Everybody goes through tough times babe, and it's ok to just yell and scream, rant and rage, or WHATEVER! So please don't worry or feel you have to hold back with what you write.. just let it out Danielle. I feel how you do when I write too.. I always think I'm annoying (I KNOW I am! :P ) and I bother people.. and I'm always whinning etc. OK, so I'll stop going on about it now! :P Bottom line is: DON'T WORRY ABOUT THINKING YOU'RE ANNOYING US OR BOTHERING US! Because my beautiful friend/hostage, you are worth it! <3 |
| from billie--joe : |
| Aww im so sorry |
| from roamany : |
| Thank you for the sweet note, you have no idea how much it means to be to get encouragment. I'm looking forward to checking out your diary. Thanks for being such a sweetheart - Meg |
| from purgingme : |
| day by day girl. day by day. thats the best we can do. xo sharla |
| from billie--joe : |
| aww poor baby na just joking but anyways yes u can (SENCE U MADE IT)(LOSER) |
| from purgingme : |
| telling someone about your problem and seeking help is an ammazingly hard thing to do. im glad your taking steps towards recovery. you should not be feeling like this and you dont have to. much love xo sharla |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Aww baby, you don't bother anyone. Just cause you don't tell us what's wrong, it doesn't mean that we're not up all night thinking about you.. It's better if you DO talk to someone cause then we (or whoever) is left not with the sence of being bothered by you, but they feel better cause then they know that you're not hidding everything and bottleing it away.. By gee it helps me so much when you and others talk to me about what's bothering them cause I feel important, and I know that they're closer to getting better when they decide they need help... It's hard to explain, but I hope ya get it..I know what you mean about the awkwardness and all at school!! People are always running up to me and ripping my shirt up, pulling my sleves up and un-zipping the neck of my jumper to see if all the "romours" are true.. To see if I really do have slits + scars on my arms, and to see if I have rope burns on my neck! *rolls eyes* It soooo pisses me off! They're like savage amimals! It's kinda the opposite with me at school though (you know how you said you get sad and quiet?), I go on an extream high when I'm there, cause I just can't bare to let them see! A few times though, I've gone teary and sad looking, and I just get called emo lol :( Oh and the WORST shit is from the teachers! grr! Lets not get into that now! :P Anytime you wanna talk, you just scream it out to me ok? I don't care if you yell out everything, just as long as you feel better!! :) Please keep fighting the bad urges and voices! You're gonna be ok soon. Still prayin for ya baby I LOVE YOU! |
| from jadedxx : |
| hey, sorry to hear you're feeling so down. :( if you want to talk about anything, i'm here, okay? and please don't worry about anyone thinking you're a bother, or that you complain to much. you can't help the way you feel, you know? if they care about you, they'll want to help. *hugs* |
| from beatnbroken : |
| Hey, thanks so much for your note! I laughed really hard :-D I hope you enjoyed my diary...I've read most of yours too. I like it :-D Anyway ttyl thanks so much for makin me smile, it's not an easy thing to do. xoxoxo |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Yeah... I know what you mean about it being easier to act happier at school.. There's less time to think about everything, and friends help to make us show our happy side :) Even if it sometimes is forced. Dude, I would so like to smash your spanish teacher! grr! There's nothing wrong or bad about "gay" people! We're all the friggin same! What kind of teacher makes her opinion about gay people known to her students!?! Does she teach that in spanish!!! grr! Anyway.... *takes deep breath* :) I doubt I'll ever come to love school again, but I can at least try this term to actually achieve something!! Dude, I wish you could be able to sleep a whole night aye! Without a single bad or scary dream :( Maybe ya should try some yoga/meditation before going to bed lol. Or get some sleeping medication... And thank you for telling me why I'm scared of not thinking about Aaron anymore.. I think you're right :) I also think it's because once he's gone from my head.. That means that I'm forgetting about him.. all that we've done.. and stuff..I'm left with louder voices of that monster too.. I don't like thinking about him, but hate it when he's not there, cause then I feel empty and guilty. O well. Ha. Thank you so much for everything Danielle! I love you so much! |
| from purgingme : |
| its so shitty having nightmares. i have them almost every night. it messes up my entire day. heres hoping for a good night sleep. xo sharla |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Dude! I love the name of your school! It's very posh :) "Cannon County High" It's cool! The school I go to has a good sporting and agracultural basis, but that's about it :( lol It's called "Kelmscott High" OOOOOOOH Doesn't that sound attractive?! NOT! Dude, I used to love school! And I always wanted to stay there, but it's just this year that I don't like it because of everything that's been going on. It all takes it's toll in every part of my in-significant life! :P hehe! But mostly effecting my schooling at the worst. O well, it's gotta be done! So are you on holidays too? Or whatever you call it! The "summer" or something lol? When do you go back? |
| from readthisline : |
| You're so adorable! It's good that you laughed a lot. So did I actually.. Thank you for the comment. You have a wonderful day too! xx |
| from jadedxx : |
| You're not an idiot. There is nothing wrong with crying, with letting out your emotions. It only proves that you are human. And yes, you ARE the best. thank you so much, for everything. *hugs* |
| from purgingme : |
| thank you for the kind words. today im trying. i promise. xo purgingme |
| from anadoll : |
| sometimes it's good to let the tears go, to let the negative feelings out. i'd assume that's why you suddenly felt better as well! anyway, thank you for the encouraging words, it means so much to me. xoxo~alex |
| from readthisline : |
| Beautiful, it was my pleasure! I hope that it works for you! I would have given you the Website, but I get it on my phone and don't need it. lol. I hope you have a wonderful evening.. try to laugh as often as you can, it cheers you up so much it's unbelieveable.. hahha I kinda sound really stupid aat the moment though... haha |
| from readthisline : |
| Oh thank you. I hope I made you smile.. Chris Rock is brilliant! Also, The Chaser's War On Everything is so funny! They're on the ABC websiite I think. Just search them up on google for Australia. The stuff they get up to is incredible! They come highly recommended. On the website you can also streamline some of they're stuff. ..only if you want to of course hahha. No pressure! =p xx |
| from billie--joe : |
| Its ok it will be alright i am here for YOU!! k bye love ya |
| from readthisline : |
| You're beautiful. Thank you.. I'll keep posting! I really miss it when I don't.. I become obsessive though. lol. Someimes 4, 5 times a day. hahha Don't worry, things will look up.. Watch some Chris Rock, he's so brilliantly hilarious! It makes me laugh so much, and lifts my spirits.. which is nice.. xx |
| from razornotes00 : |
| But I'm the special kind of crazy though :P lol! You are perfect too, and I'm not just saying that ok! Are you chewing yet by the way? hehe |
| from razornotes00 : |
| I know it's bad. Don't worry about it though sweetie! :) I'm glad that you and Britt have your own rooms :P AND YOU'RE NOT AN IDIOT!! grrr! You're friggin' perfect! I love you! :) |
| from beatnbroken : |
| hey of course, username-broken pword-kd10 i really hope you enjoy it! |
| from myonlyhope15 : |
| <small> Everybody's fighting, and it's jsut a mess. kind of a long story. </small> |
| from jadedxx : |
| you're the best. |
| from jadedxx : |
| hey, thanks for the words of wisdom. i checked out your diary & really liked it & will keep reading. will add you to my buddy list, too. =) |
| from readthisline : |
| You got my point exactly.. I hope they're wrong. xxx |
| from billie--joe : |
| ok then well love ya (GUESS WAT I WORK AT BURGER KING DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT) |
| from billie--joe : |
| You no wat i think you are british.and i did not scratch your cd LOSER and he will hopefully lov eme to because i love them |
| from purgingme : |
| thanks so much. i could always use a friend. xo purgingme |
| from billie--joe : |
| Ok And yes you are like my big sister and you are also suppose to (HELP ME) and not get all mad because i want to get something that you have but watever |
| from amazinfuckup : |
| Things will get better. Plus, look. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbows. Rainbows are awesome. |
| from billie--joe : |
| na na boo boo i dont no dont ask |
| from cat-45 : |
| Yes you can. We made a deal remember? If you back out of it, I'll smoke myself to death. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| DANI! I swear that you're little wanna-bee friend WILL leave you! Everything is going to be alright, ok! I love you so much and their are so many people here to back you up because we love and care about you!!! Hang in there baby xoxoxoxo |
| from cat-45 : |
| yo. Did the anus licker ever email you? He emailed me and this is ehat it said: Hey! We need to go to the movies, that night you guys went, no body did want to go, so I had to go with them, but All of us are going to do something, Maybe not a movie, I'm getting sick of the movies right now, how about music, in somewaY! lOVE YOU! lOVE, dREW |
| from billie--joe : |
| mmm ok write you do that or your brains im glad the good sid ewon the bad sid ewill never win mahaha |
| from enurta : |
| i love that song. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| Lol, I'd like you to do that to him! :D And Danipoo, I'm not hurting myself! Everything is under control :) HAHAHAHAHAHA! Your brain is melting? hehe! that's funny! Hang in there little one! xoxoxox |
| from angel-scar : |
| hey ya i tried changing the background to black, but then i couldn't see the red text anymore. now the text is black, and the background is plain white. can you help me? thanx alyssa |
| from angel-scar : |
| hey! Thanks for the help! I finally have what i want on my diary page. well, eccept for one thing. I would really like to have a background preferrably gothic. but if not that, just simply black. I was wanting to know if you could help me with that? Could you look at my diary again and tell me what you think of it now? thanks alyssa |
| from razornotes00 : |
| You will win Baby Danielle, that's who! <3 |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| awe, thank you so much. Yeah, i have no idea what a mom would be like. Im really sorry. That must be hard. Like really hard. <33 |
| from anti-love- : |
| Sure.. Email me at [email protected] and I'll give it to ya. I don't leave it on here because there's this bitch who's trying to spread rumors about me..That's why I locked it in the first place.. |
| from enurta : |
| I'm sorry you know what if feels like. Selfish people don't deserve to live <3 |
| from myonlyhope15 : |
| I know, but sometimes I feel like it's my fault that she feels bad because of me. I don't think she fully understands what I'm going through, and she's admitted that, but then I know she's still trying to. Thank you. |
| from readthisline : |
| You and your cousin are both very sweet. Thank you for the comments. I really like your diary also. I'm just worried that soon people will realise that I can't write, and my diary isn't really worth reading. But that's a risk I'm willing to take I suppose.. I hope you're both well. Love, me xx |
| from myonlyhope15 : |
| thanks, =] |
| from billie--joe : |
| my longest note ever....(cricket cricket)he he |
| from billie--joe : |
| Iam not you loser and you no wat im not going to rewrite that because i don't even remember half of it si im going to go hide in the corner and cry ok and the Llamas are still going to eat you an dim not going to save you.. |
| from billie--joe : |
| I am not LOSER!!! And you no wat Llamas are going to sneak in your bedroom and eat you while your sleeping ha because im going to tell them to.. Ok bye before you reas it while im writing it |
| from billie--joe : |
| Your WEIRD!! ok bye loves <3<3<3 |
| from myonlyhope15 : |
| P.S. Who is this? |
| from myonlyhope15 : |
| they're both bang. |
| from razornotes00 : |
| HAHAHA! NO! No one can be nosy with me! I love answering questions! But I'm affraid I have no idea what you're talking about though :( Do you mean what happened with Jake, Aaron, or..? I'll answer as soon as I know wjo/what you're talking about! xxxooo Stalker |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| i am glad they dont see it, i would be humiliated if they only knew how i really feel about things. its just better to keep things this way... |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| haha, im glad i gave you a good compliment, lol! |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| haha cute! well i think you would be a good stalker. i have had a stalker before and it was weird so you would be okay, haha. ima add your myspace so you know ahead of time. haha |
| from xcutxthroat : |
| awe thanks hun. im happy but why exactly did you add me to your favorites, hehe? |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| i had a ton of fun....oh yeah, fun |
| from enurta : |
| you are so sweet. thank you for the kind comment. <3 |
| from enurta : |
| just looked up deodorant, it means "To see or put on deodorant in your dream, represents your inner strength and your ability to rid yourself of destructive behaviors." |
| from enurta : |
| hey, there are some great dream-dictionary's out there! you should visit http://www.myjellybean.com/dream/dream.html |
| from ms-teddy : |
| Hello woman wat is up i want some coke ok bye |
| from caker : |
| Dear xxplaydeadxx, Thank you for writing in my notes. I am really seven years old. I get help with spelling from whoever is here, but all the words are my own. I know there are rules about commas but I don't know them all yet. I put a comma when I slow down, or it looks right. I hope you visit my journal because some days I have a zero and not even my grandmother came by. That's kinda sad but some days lots of people come by. Love, Johnny |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| good news, i lost two pounds!!! now i have six to go :) |
| from readthisline : |
| I really like your diary. Thank you for joining broken-home diaryring. I'll keep an eye out for more of your posts. xx |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| thanks, i hate those damn things...we should crush all the bread slash crackers in the world...RID THE WORLD OF THE EVIL BREADS....................HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! it will save people like us a lot of trouble... i am actuallyexcited to get on the scale tonight...it should be lower. |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| it went pretty good, one pound lighter today, yahoo!!! how are you doin with your pounds? i hope the evil breads, crackers, and spicyies are not getting in the way!!! |
| from ms-teddy : |
| hell9o and sorry for spelling his name wrong ok bye love ya |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| DEATH TO THE BREAD SLASH CRACKERS SLASH SPICY FOOD!!!! |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| yeah i will forever find bread slash crackers hilarious! even when i am pissed that they wont come out i will be laughing inside at the insanity of it all...what about spicy food, that shit hurts if it gets in your nose...holy fuck!!! |
| from sekritsquirl : |
| ummm no i am virgin mobile, gay. oh well we both have this! we can still defeet the bread slash crackers via internet!!! DIE YOU MOFO'S!!! |
| from pamperedpuma : |
| I've added you, hope that's ok!! Cxx |
| from cat-45 : |
| click refresh. and if that doesnt' work click inbox |
| from |