Countdown to Conquest

Previously I had normal goals. Complete my Master's Degree. Pay off that pesky mortgage. Floss daily. Now I see clearly, and live with purpose: I will fight tooth and claw (in mud, if necessary) the rest of the female artsy populace of Toronto for the opportunity to steal Chip Zdarsky's tender flower from him. Not that I will be the first necessarily, but I'm sure that with me he will feel like a virgin. Touched for the very first time. When his heart beats, next to mine.

I'm a print media junkie who was born in Missisauga the year Star Wars came out. I spent my youth band geeking and embracing ennui in Oakville and have tried to move past my whitebread upbringing by living in Toronto for the past 6 years.

No siblings, minimal baggage, very few bad habits (except for the webstalking, obviously) -- comics drain me of most income that might be spent on alcohol, and I'd rather get crabs than smoke cigarettes.

Most disgusting act: stripped naked while drunk with two friends, Kim and Rene, and dove into the Seine at 3am on a hot July night after a sweaty day working at Shakespeare & Co. We were subsequently hauled out of the water by gendarmes, who looked puzzled and disgusted and asked us if we were following through with a suicide pact.

My favorite diaries:

chipzdarsky profile - diary
comments: Meet the target of my dubious attentions.
schmarpy profile - diary
comments: A real little firecracker, and a much better girlfriend than I am.
squirrelx profile - diary
comments: My all-time favorite web diary; I read it compulsively. Her writing is lyrical, honest and hilarious. If I had to triangulate her tone, I guess it would be Dolores Claiborne meets Ingrid Newkirk meets Aleister Crowley's Scarlet Woman.

My favorite music:

Massive Attack
comments: I can listen again and again and never weary of them.
Nitin Sawhney
comments: Haunting, political, non-nauseating ethnic with a dope beat.
comments: You have to respect the Gift of Gab, although "Bug Powder Dust" by Bomb the Bass is better
Loreena McKennitt
comments: Dude, I'm Celtic. And she's good. Screw you for judging me.
Bela Bartok
comments: Evocative orchestral pieces. Folksy, yet ominous and darkly romantic. Like Tosca set in Kansas.

My favorite movies:

Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai
comments: Jim Jarmusch rocks. Anything by him is fine by me.
Real Genius
comments: Few things are funnier or sexier than a genius in animal slippers
comments: ...or an underage genius who is friends with Bill Murray.
Bleu (or the whole colours trilogy)
comments: And if I bent that way, it would be Juliette Binoche .Uh huh oh yeah.
The Terror of Tiny Town
comments: I love westerns. I'm fascinated with midgets. This gave me both.

My favorite authors:

Michael Ondaatje
comments: His poetry is incredible, esp. Billy the Kid. But "Running in the Family" is my true favorite.
Thomas Pyncheon
comments: I love an author who can weave a good tale with plenty of room for the reader to feel totally baffled and at a loss as to what the deeper meaning was, but still certain that there was one.
Philip Pullman
comments: I'm obsessed with arctic travel, witches and familiars. So is he.
Alice Munro
comments: If I had to choose between her and Atwood (which it appears I just have), it would be a tough call, but she wins for being more demanding and active in her reminiscences.
Isabel Huggan
comments: Too bad she is overlooked. Her "Elizabeth Stories" are True, Real, Faithful and Difficult: therefore Good. Also, super easy to read.

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last updated: 2003-08-13 18:25:33
this user's total entries: 45
user since: 2003-03-30

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