2005-11-11 - 10:33 a.m.
our cat, saturn, ran away monday night. we haven't seen any trace of him since then. jef and i are both heartbroken. i'm especially miserable because i was the one who forgot to check that the basement door was locked.

we've called shelters and vets, passed out fliers, toured the neighborhood at all times of the day and night—including at 3am with an open can of wet food, to try to coax him out of any hiding place he might be in. but he hasn't shown up.

he's never been gone this long. never longer than 12 hours. and it's cold outside. and we live in chicago. and i'm desperately afraid we'll never see him again. i feel like i ruined our family. pluto is now a loner cat. jef lost someone he's lived with for 10 years. and it's my fault.

my therapist said i'm going to have to forgive myself. yeah, maybe later. for now we're just overwhelmed by uncertainty. maybe we'll never see him again, but maybe he'll show up at our door tonight acting like nothing happened. the not-knowing is killing me.

sigh.

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