It's freezing outside. Freezing. I had on my camel cashmere coat. However, I lacked my gloves, I needed a finger for maneuvering the ipod. As a result, my hands went numb. It was the first time that it was unbearable. Incredibly cold... terrible.
I had the started the day off feeling good... a resolve that instigated a mad underwear burning session. (well throwing it away) I had a great idea that I shouldn't be plagued with old cotton underwear. I should just get it out of my drawer. If I am only left with pretty undies, I will always have pretty undies on. It's no way to live, rotating between comfortable plain cotton bikini panties. It was a cotton panty genocide. I left two "comfort undies" untouched. (and this was the silky body by Victoria type briefs) Otherwise, I am left with eye popping bright mesh undies to lacy thongs galore. More thongs than undies... for when I choose to wear underwear.
I wanted to look nice from now on. This is the real evidence that I was coming out of my funk. I wanted to go outside, meet people, and wear beautiful flirty underwear. I wanted to piece myself together again. I wanted to stop living in a cave with no desire to put on my outside armor. Now, I want to mold myself into something worthwhile, once more.
I should have ordered a drink, earlier. My dinner consisted of fries, arugala salad, and polenta, all shared, at thalia's. I returned, walking awkwardly in my heels (that ended up being too big for my freakish left foot) and freezing hands gripping my little ipod (ipid! J's little brother said). I warmed up next to my kitten and hopped online. I found out that I was rejected to U Minn's Ph.D. program. Yeah. I wasn't as upsetting as I thought it would be. I just... couldn't stop thinking about my new bright mesh lacy neon thongs (so bright that it makes me just... bounce). It is disappointing, of course. I'm still hopeful. I'm fine.
I am going to close this journal down. I might start another one. I might have already... started another one.
I've had this hankering to start a new place to write... for a while. I do that, occasionally... as the earliest statement on this journal also talks about.
11:49 p.m. - Friday, Feb. 18, 2005
Recent entries:
resolves... rejection... rebirth - Friday, Feb. 18, 2005
unemployed.. and loving it. - Saturday, Jan. 22, 2005
graduation - Wednesday, Jan. 19, 2005
tech - Friday, Jan. 14, 2005
la la la I don't care about shallow dorky entries anymore! - Sunday, Jan. 09, 2005
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