Old friend... I was just talking with someone, about how Diaryland was way before all this fluffy social media. Facebook and such is fun, but its all on the surface. This place is different. And what is funny is that by this point, I am certain no one reads me. Yet here I am. Would I go on facebook if I had no friends to "like" my shit? And if you do come around sometimes... I still love you and that will never change.

So, my last update... was about the sex of my pending offspring. I was told it was a girl.. and she came out a girl and nothing has changed since.

Aura Marie Seul was born on July 8th. I have never loved more purely or been more happy. She is everything to me.

She is funny and smart and the most amazing creature ever.

Now, even when my health or my family or my marriage or anything really, is sucking... there's her smile. It is so odd to find all the strength I will ever need, in a creature that is so small and helpless. I see so much natural compassion in her.

Just tonight, I was crying because she has had a cold and I have had a cold and I have not had much help so I was feeling extremely overwhelmed, exhausted and weak. Well, she woke up from her nap and when I went in to get her, I of corse stopped crying for her sake and forced a big smile to greet her but I had forgotten to wipe my wet face off.

She stared at me the whole time I was changing her and then when I stood her up she ever so gently touched my cheek and wiped a tear away... and I know i know, she probably was just like, -how did you get your drool all the way up there lady- but I swear, the way she looked at me.. it was just so soft and compassionate. Like if only she could talk she would give me the answers.

Of corse shortly after that she decided to yank a chunk of my hair out and spit up all over me.. but ya know. :)