So I have a friend with a problem.

No, this isn't me writing about me under the guise of seeking advice for 'a friend' because if I wanted help, I'd ask.

I'm direct like that.

I have a friend. We met at a birthday party. We hung out for a couple of months. We realized there was an attraction there. We dated for a bit. Then, one day, as we're out at a festival in her hometown, she grabs me and said, "There's a woman coming towards us. Just agree with anything she says and play along. I'll explain later."

So I do.

Turns out that this woman is the sister of her ex-fiance.

And my friend ran into her ex-fiance at the grocery store and, in her words, "lied to him through my teeth about you, and us, and how wonderful my life is."

Now I can understand the desire to rub it to a guy you almost married about how great your life is ... and I can understand the desire to enhance the truth a bit to twist the knife of "I saw my ex. He/She looked great and is living a wonderful life without me" thoughts most people would take upon leaving an impromptu run-in.

However, when that enhancement repeats itself with another ex ...

And you start to brag about it ...

And you start to repeat parts of it to people you meet in other social situations ...

And you brag about that with this line:

"I love going out in a new city and meeting new people. I can lie my ass off and people like me."

It's time for you to realize, in the words of Henry Rollins ...

da Nile ain't just a river in da Egypt.

If you don't like your life enough to be honest with others, you're obviously not being honest with yourself.

You don't like your life - change it.

You don't like your job - change it.

But lying about it? Repeatedly? To people who don't matter in an attempt to make them like you is really, really unattractive to the one person who did both:

Mattered.

And liked you.

Yes, past tense is correct in both verbs.

12:32 p.m. - 2007-09-21