2001-07-31 - 9:07 p.m.

in case you missed this year's krazyfest in the heart of louisville at their boring historic water tower (look kids, big ben) i'll get you up to speed on the bands that played and my review of said bands. of course, i'm sure i will be extremely callous (honest) and brutally honest (callous)

friday: avail/ hot water music/planes mistaken for stars/small brown bike/story so far/holy angels/pflanz. well, to be honest i missed this day. i had to wash my armpit hair.pert plus! actually, when i say "missed" that would mean i felt some sensation of regret on behalf of myself not witnessing some of the bands playing. ...and there is surely none of that. don't get we wrong, i like small brown bike just fine, i root for the hometown heroes...fair enough. ...but avail have become suckatarians...all they eat are sucksandwiches. they'll never be able to shake that toothless gutter hippie BOBO that they call a "cheerleader". of course, he is the best part of the band now....which isn't saying alot. but he doesn't touch a mic or an instrument enough to be held responsible for the "opening the tv closet avalanche" sound that they call music these days. oh yeah, bonk......bowling ball on head. he doesn't look like any cheerleader i've ever known. i don't expect him to be a walk-on for the dallas cowgirls next year....atleast not w-ihout getting redshirted for a season. he does floss with barbed wire and he does make that OTHER band cheerleader, "skankin' up the skandalous skastreets of skankadelic bosskaton " ben carr of the mighty mighty black lungs, look like mel gibson in comparison. and hot water music....where do i start.....sheeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiit...i digress even before i start. holy angels? pflanz? friday was either the best of the once best fest (that i never liked in the first place fest....except satiate and dixie fest) , or the best of the mediocre static scene bands fest. see, it pays to have friends who work for initial.

saturday was a pretty mean day for the fest. almost ALL hardcore. i guess GOD is not a big fan of hardcore as it rained all last year's fest, and then nigh-recreated the great flood for this saturday's fest.

here's the cribs notes:

poison the well: it makes me wonder whether the lead singer really SINGS the singy parts because whenever it came to the segueways....i couldn't hear him at all...but his screaming shook the walls of graceland. things that make you go "hmmmmmmm". a hardcore milli vanilli? has it come to that? after i saw the alkaline trio/saves the day vagrant tour bus caravan pull into the venue like they were the "little miss can't be gong" -era spin doctors.....NOTHING would surprise me now ....correction-the caboose merch truck following behind the busses like tommy tugboat....that surprised me....that FLOORED me onto the mud i think. hey mother nature, why don't you give stinky emo dirts ANOTHER reason to take off their shoes....and not wash?

"it rained today! i'm all set for another month!" (dirty emo kids sitting indian style on the mud set down their zines to yell "hip hip hooray !" in unison).

dillinger escape plan came out after a week or two of setting up and destroyed some peoples' nervous systems.....cranked up some strobe lights to 10....didn't hit anyone in the face with a microphone this year (doggonit) and then breathed fire. goodnight. i had some friends stay for the rest of class and jot down the lecture from boy sets fire. i'll copy the notes later. oh yeah i almost forgot.....the beat box guy was the best part of krazy fest though...you'll see on the dvd...unbeleivable.

i play all hard, but i listen to absolute pussy music. i know i do, and i deal with it. and so sunday came.....

further seems forever should've kept the old singer who is now dashboard confessional who everybody hates except my girlfriend and i and a few other guys (who may or may not be gay) and EVERYBODY else's girlfriends.

the white octave is the best active band on earth next to superchunk. they're both from chapel hill and they both rule. superchunk was the best band at krazyfest one, and the white octave was the best at krazyfest four. i think heather wants to bone the lead singer, but i think i did too, so ends met where ends frayed. and that was a joke. i don't bone guys and here it comes in my guestbook. hey mercedes was braid without the old guitarist who couldn't sing....but did it so well. i don't know, they were good, it's always good to hear bob nanna's voice....but i think the heat destroyed whatever was left of my "don't know all your songs" attention span. sorry. maybe next time.

the jazz june had some keboard player ruining their songs that were pretty blahse in the first place...needless to say, i think their true fans even hated it. two snaps and a jog to the merch mall. alkaline trio .....sigh..... il ove this band....why are their live performances getting worse....marlboro reds do take their toll on voices. it was cool to have my friends around singing along to the songs though. that was probably the most touching FUZZY moment off the fest.

i could remember that moment for a long time i think. my girlfriend's hand in mine, and a sea of johnny knoxvilles with dogs singing with me. emo carols in july. and six and a hlaf hours later we were back in ypsi....and not a word of missing saves the day was uttered....because like isaid..."missing" is a very strong word....and the only thing i missed that night at 2:30 am was the 300 plus bucks i blew on cd's and food that weekend.

p.s. there are probably hundreds of typos on here....due to the length of the article, i don't feel like proofreading so it'll probably look like a "real detroit" magazine in terms of misspellings and grammatical errors. lo siento.