the rain
Got a little easy @ 4:22 p.m.
on 2006-07-22
It's around 4:30 on saturday. I'm at da mama's house and it is pouring outside.
I think this is the most powerful storm I've ever been in. I went outside and was immediately thrown into the wall and the door that I came out of. As I was standing there, a limb broke out of a tree in the yard and landed, easily, 15 feet away from it (and about that far from me, too). The lightning was so bright and the thunder was so loud that I honestly couldn't handle standing out there alone. God I wish I had someone here to stay outside with me. I honestly can't think of anything more invigorating than that. It would be, by far, the most romantic and sexual experience I can think of. Not to mention liberating.
The wind comes in these great bursts that last for five or ten minutes each, where everything goes white and all the trees practically bend over. It feels like the earth is screaming.
The next time it happens, I might just scream with it.
Rain
Got a little easy @ 11:10 a.m.
on 2006-07-18
Outside, the rain is pouring down so hard that there is a small lake has formed on the roof outside my lab window, and now the new rain hitting it is making it splash up and blur everything I see.
I remember last night I couldn't sleep. I stood outside on the balcony and stared around for a long time. I watched the ocean, and the people walking by, and I sat and thought and paced and thought and kicked the railing once it was clear that thinking wasn't getting me anywhere.
I needed to do something. I needed an action. A change. Something that's fluid and variable and alive. Different. I hoped that it would rain today. I want to be drenched.
This will be the last day that I stay inside when I really want to run into the wilderness. I'm tired of being cautious. I'm tired of fearing the person that I actually am. That's not going to happen anymore.
