This is a story about a time, a story about a place. Most of all, it's a story about a love. A love that will live forever.

11:52 p.m. � 06.20.05

It is finally finished. Sev ended it today as I was driving home from the grocery store. He called and since I hadn't heard from him in over a week and a half, I was excited to even see that he was calling. However, he says along these lines, "I don't know if you've been thinking about our last conversation or moved on from it or whatever, but I didn't. That's why I hadn't talked to you in that long. I was still thinking about it ... You're right, I do deserve someone else ... You had mentioned that a reason why you were still in the relationship was because you feared losing my frienship. And I thought that wasn't a good reason at all to be in a relationship ... (insert long awkward pause) I don't know what else to say."

It pretty much went like that. I also told him that I sent him a package earlier that day, unaware that I would be receiving this call. I refused to tell him what I sent him and said he'd find out in a few days.

Though a part of me knows that it was in fact for the better that it's over, the "hopeful side" (as Sev and I distinguished that I have a "hopeful" and "realistic" side) is mourning that it's over. I had expectations of still being together, no matter how hard it got, at least until I came back to Arizona. I had this idea in my head that I would surprise him at his house by not telling him when I would arrive back in Arizona and playfully attack him onto his bed and cuddle like we did the first day we ever met. Those dreams are crushed and forever lost as just a dream.

I told myself that I would not be in a relationship after Mike. Then I dated Sev. But I need to be stronger and say that I absolutely positively refuse to be in one for a long long long while--especially in college. It causes too much drama and pain.

I need to just live and get over it day by day. It hurts like hell right now, but I'll be OK.