Caution:This Diary Tends to Contain Adult Cotent, read at your own risk
06/21/2006 - 1:17 am
so it's been, what, a couple year since I wrote on here, but I needed a place where no one I know will read. I'm sure someone here remembers I used to cut and what not, and I've been strong for almost three years. I'm finally getting help with the depressed state I'm always in, but it's just from my fiancee and there is only so much he can do for me. He doesn't know what to do and I don't know what to tell him. I don't know what I need. I just want to be happy. But it seems I can't do that anymore. I try, but I fall so easily. My sister's cat died today while the vets struggled to save her life. If i brought her in sooner, she might've lived. But I'm a dumb fuck and didn't bring her in and she died. I blame myself for it and I try talking to my fiancee about it and he just says, "Will you just stop." as if it's that easy. I got pissed at him because I was looking for a shoulder to cry on and he jus tells me to stop. So I told him to forget it and he said it's just one more thing that I won't accept help for. He said that even if he tried helping me, I would just get sad so I told him not to bother trying to help me anymore. And he told me it's not an option. Errrrr.... why can't he just drop it already? If he really thinks that all he does is make me sad, then why doesn't he just give up already?
