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Hi diaryland. - 2014-11-10

Putting up walls - 2013-10-28

in the cold. - 2013-01-28

Jane Doe183 - 05/01/2012

March 14th - 04/20/2012

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2:48 a.m. - 2014-11-10

Im sitting here at work, brooding about things which I assume normal people brush off as inconsequential.

But I am one of those over thinkers who feel every poke and prod caused by words and even looks. I never asked to be a overly sensitive empath. Once I thought I was a true introvert but now I lean towards guarded wall flower.

I have never forgotten about this diary but it was always meant for me to write the things which are best kept secret and in my head. But compounded they become toxic to the soul and once again I feel that desperate urge to vent.

Facebook is the new public journal for the majority of the world with an internet connection. It was only last year that I took a more active role in using it to connect with old friends.

September 11th of last year I tore a ligament in my right wrist. Despite it being a work related injury it took ten months to receive any money and I was broke and very depressed. As this is written I have yet to get surgery to fix my wrist and even that took all this time and a team of lawyers.

The whole system sucks. The only time I ever get hurt working and I am treated like a parasite.

When you have nothing but time to kill, bordem quickly sets in and finding people on FB was a hobby. I am happy to say the one person I was hoping to find actually found me instead. The lengths he went through were epic, and I have to say it was the highlight of the decade for me.

But today was different. Someone I thought I was friends with suddenly cut me off without an explanation and those kinds of loose ends drive people with an overactive mind insane.

It makes me question what kind of a person I am to drive people away when I have so few I genuinely care about.

Tomorrow I may feel better about all this but I will never know why, and that will still bother me.

I almost had a date this month. Would have been the first in about ten years.

As more and more time passes I get convinced that I am incompatible with life on earth.

Life isn't fair. It isn't evil. You do the best that you can with what you are brave enough to use. We often forget the level of courage isn't equally distributed.

I would complain to management but the dirt and rocks are already tired of my shit.

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