revelations pt.2

Tuesday, Mar. 05, 2024, 9:39 PM

the last revelation that i had last week is a doozy.

i already knew that i had challenges thinking outside the box (nor moving forward) but i never knew exactly the gravity of the situation.

SIDE NOTE: i'm feeling extremely lonely at the moment. i'm having random thoughts of reaching out to talk to people. it's already late and the middle of the week. i had a random idea of talking to 'A' but i know that i'm pulling on a piece of my past that i found comfort. i acknowledge that it is an old reflex.

anyhoo, i keep myself in situations because i'm content and apparently oblivious to searching for new opportunities. i refuse to grow and challenge myself. it's not intentional, i'm just oblivious. but wait there is more. as a task that i've taken upon myself, i run a fitness channel in slack. i do my best to hold quarterly challenges and i've been content with that.on average, i get participation from the same 6-8 people on a regular basis. one of the supervisors vocalized closing the channel because of low participation until recently when i sparked up a new challenge. even then, this current challenge was technically someone else's idea that was suggested to me. the supervisor, mentioned getting more participation by doing some type of tiktoks. one, i never would've thought of that because i honestly think the idea sucks. however, i'm almost 48 which explains why i don't care for the idea. two, most of our new hires are millenials and they aren't participating. i somehow have to attract new blood.

and lastly, i'm no longer can find any fun with my job. i'm waking up unhappy and dragging to perform this drudgery. i've been doing the same thing for 7 years now without any consistent effort to do anything else. i've should've been out of this position by year 2. thankfully, i have my eye on a position that will be opening in april. i'm hoping that natalee and i get 2 of the positions that are offered.

i don't know how to be an adult over my career.

i'm going to close out this entry by stating that i have an immense craving for a pastry. i have nothing sweet in the house outside of fruit. frozen fruit in which i just broke my vitamix. there are replacement parts on amazon for $30. i'm going to give this a whirl before dropping $500 on a replacement. this craving for a large bowl of multiple pastries is strong. i'm going to have sleep on it. hopefully it doesn't chase me in my sleep.
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revelations pt.2 - Tuesday, Mar. 05, 2024
revelations - Saturday, Mar. 02, 2024
the ramblings of an older woman - Sunday, Feb. 11, 2024
happy new year 2024!! and a couple of revelations - Sunday, Feb. 04, 2024
47 and a half - Saturday, Oct. 07, 2023