5:13 a.m. - 2010-06-06
Lonely
Yes, lonely, that's how I'm feeling at the moment and it sounds so pathetic that I wouldn't dare telling anyone but this lousy forgotten diary...
My head feel heavy again, this familiar load that i have once in a while.. not as often as before but no less powerful... and i blame this heavy head, heavy mind, for all the problems that i have...
I wish i could talk to my boyfriend about it but he has enough problems with his own loneliness that i can't help with... i wish he didn't feel like this but there is nothing i can do to help him because there is nothing i can do to help myself...
i just hae all these negative thoughts going around my head and it's making it so fucking heavy i cand hardly held it up....
but i know i have cause this myself because as much as i complain, there is nothing i'm willing to do to change my situation.... i just don't see a way out....
i am destined to live around friends and social gatherings that will never include me...
