kittyhula's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Strange Timing Just this moment, after the result of kind of a rare mood since this lunar eclipse portal and deeper layers of shadow work continuing in theme this year, today I think I finally reached it...that one straw that broke the camel’s back... ...there only is the echoing inside my mind of my own internal monologue...”I think I am done.” This is usually where a cacophony of fears chimes in to remind me that it’s more comfortable to just wait and see and to rush in and remind me of all the stability at risk, or possibilities of the good I don’t know is there yet to open before me if I stick it out. It’s notably silent just this moment. It’s the timing of it that gets me though...of reviewing the previous cycles, of journaling during those times, having freshly poured through it over the last couple of day, and having a very clear picture woven through that has emerged through the absurdity of all the self-destructive dramas I thought were so important, and the blessing of being spared so much of the risky behaviors I have lived through, and I am awake to it, eyes locked on it and can’t look away, because it confirms what my own intuition and syncs have been saying loudly and frequently. I can’t unsee the continuation of the patterns. I can’t unsee the simple answer and solution that would immediately fix everything. But, I also don’t know what to do with that, just yet. “I think I’m done.” I just wish I had a friend to talk to right now. 4:07 p.m. - June 01, 2021 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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