Get your own diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

2024-03-17 - 7:02 p.m.

Two more hours of work !
I have been fighting sleep! It is so quiet and comfortable here. The phone is not ringing at all.

The one place I work only has a businss line so Sunday nights it is silent.

The other place I work on weekends has busier switchboard as there are phones in ever hospital like room ( skilled nursing rehab place with some long term nursing home residents).

It was a busy few days.

Thursday night my boyfriend and a few of his friends took me up on the invite to come see the play put on by the arts org for disabled individuals where I have volunteered for a dozen years.

It was the org my two oldest first acted together in a show. They were so good and the show was so much fun way back when. I am sure I have mentioned before that there is this huge blown up photo from that show that was chosen to be hung in the office of the Arts Center where the stage is.

I mean of all the things they could have hung there, they chose this special arts group
AND they chose this georgous photo of two girls dancing- one with obvious downs features ( A beautiful person and actor who has been in shows ever since whom I know) and my oldest child.

I have a VHS of that show somewhere. So my boyfriend's friends came and it was so apprechiated by me that they legit enjoyed it and that one said "Maybe we can make this an annual tradition" with earnestness.

It feels like I found my tribe here. For real his friends are so great. I have my own friends of course too...
but they are
the one girlfriend I walk with from old job
the one I walk with who is local ( Who is moving soon to SC!)
the one who moved to CA

The guy I met through work and befriended but don't really hang with (but for coffee one in a whil ein the role of emotional support)
Neigbor , hang with every so often - also emotional support.

In other words just the one on one..

So it is really nice that my boyfriend actually has a group of friends who all like to do things together. They invite their families. Their kids actually like hanging out ( some of them at least so it seems.)

Its a nice thing-
to have such strong connection with friends and family.

The one odd one out unfortunately lives out of state so I think that makes it hard. And he is sober and some of them still drink when together so I think that makes it hard too. Newly sober, as in a year? in May?
Sobriety may be less of a challenge than distance for him now that think of it a a fair number of his friends have been sober for years too. yeah... like half of them stopped drinking alchohol altogether. Some cut it much in recent years for health reasons.
I am exhausted as we went out to dinner then the show on Thu, then I volunteered for the show Friday after an 8 hr workday, then I worked double shifts at both part time jobs for both yesterday (Sat) and today;
and last night after work there was the gathering/party for the show's production team at a board members home which I thought really important to attend. (And I was looking forward to it as last year we did linger and a few of us honestly drank wine together and really got to know each other! It was SUCH A BLAST last year and we truly connected in this meaningful way.)

Oh why does it seem the wine helped that along? ( but it did... sigh. The catch 22 I HATE as tried to argue agaist the premise of any substances helping folks be open to meaningful conneciton. Alcoholism is SUPPOSED to be said to be an emotional block, right? Supposed to be said to block expressing real emotion...

I don't really see that with moderated drinking- but for some moderate drinking perhaps the reduction of inhibition and increase of trust and the oppostie? (If trust misplaced and lack of self boundaroes are an issue that can be a HUGE problem.. but IF NOT , as itwas last year when the few folks really got to know eachother, then it is NOT a problem).

That the weird thing. These besties of my boyfriend did largerly bond over heavy usage of alcohol as they were winding down together after working thirty years ago. And have remainded friends since.

BUT OMG I did not drink last night at all ( but for water) but I did not get much sleep either. It was so nice to talk with the folks we did meet and chat with, but not quite the same as last years connections. BUT still nice.
I am just fighting sleep to stay awake for this last hr and a half.

OH Thank God my VPN is connected.
This writing is keeping me awake.

about me - read my profile! read other DiaryLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!

Can't wait to sleep tonight! AS SOON As off work!!! - 2024-03-17

%%older_entries%%

Nice morning with Bellatrix. I slept in a bit (need a day like that after weekend. Yesterday woke early so it was today!) - 2024-03-12

%%older_entries%%

It was a nice day !! Rested then cooked for my tenant * he is not feeling well, needed help; then went to work. - 2024-03-09

%%older_entries%%

YEAH I actually have cash to help with tuition. That was what I hoped! - 2024-03-09

%%older_entries%%

Morning pages then nap...walked dog and ate already 😴 - 2024-03-09

%%older_entries%%