2004-09-11 - 9:18 a.m.

I have sat down many a times recently upon returning from the storm ravaged coasts of Florida, to write down my thoughts. But right now I cant seem to be able to do so.

It Finally hit home while on the plane ride back up North. My friend was gone.

Upon returning home I found the letter he told me he had written to me in a voice mail just prior to his death. Since I have no private info up, I dont mind explaing that Walt's death while ruled an accidental overdose was actually a suicide. I still don't know how to feel about the fact that I'm the only one who knows he didn't just O.D. like some whacked out junky.

The words in his letters are what make me unable to see the keyboard clearly enough to type these words, so until I can get my head a little back on track I will leave you with one of his more lighthearted words. Walt had never written a letter to me in our 21yr history together and I was quite shocked at his ability to convey his thoughts throught the pen, considering he was such a anti-mushy guy (normally).

Anyway, walt being walt told me to remember that all girls like thier asses tickled during sex and to always think of him during sex".

Somehow I know he found that hysterically funny since he knew that because of the trauma association, that his words would probably come into my mind, and while he was somewhere up there or, most likely down there, he would be laughing his ass off for breaking my concentration

and making me explain why at a time lik ethis I was thinking of my best (male) friend.

Yup good one Walt. I love you my friend and I have no idea how I'm ever gonna find someone to replace the brotherhood we shared. But I do thank you for letting me off the hook with your letter. The guilt of thinking I wasn't there for you when you needed me most would have probably ripped me to shreds.

I'll never accept what you did, but your letter explained alot, and as always in our lives, there was nothing I could have done to change your mind.

And by the way, I'm never selling "bessy" (his old GSXR-600) I took some money and gave it to your family. That bike is going with me to my grave.

I have no idea why I'm writing a letter to you here, since you have the attention span of a 1/2 day old, but I just wanted to get to say what I would have if I had answered the phone that night.

I love you man, GoodBye

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