2003-09-24 - 2:09 p.m.
You talked to me about living for the moment, relishing life. I try to live that way. Sometimes my fear gets the best of me, but I'm trying so hard to overcome it. Desire. Wanting. Its scary. Terrifying to put yourself out there like that. I felt a connection. I thought you did too. Maybe I was wrong. It seems to me that I was. I want to talk to you, but you're so out of reach. I may be fixating making too much of an insignificant situation. I just hate when people don't do what they say. If you're not interested fine. I'll live. If its fear holding you back, I wish you would move beyond that and live how you claim to. I want to your friendship if nothing else, and waiting is driving me crazy. Crooked smile and blue eyes glowing under dim streetlights. The orange cast over everything, and the way you took my hand on Deerfoot trail. I can't get you out of my head. Fuck. Fixated. I really am riculous. You make me crazy and you don't even care.
