DELVING BETWEEN THE TOES OF LIFE....I AM TOEJAM


2024-03-17 - 6:48 p.m.

Yesterday I had to go to a bridal shower. I'm not great at social activities. But I looked cute, wore proper shoes, was funny and engaging, wrote a nice note on the card with a present and only cheated on one of the dumb games you play at these things. Well, I cheated on two because one of them I didn't even care to give a fuck and shoved the piece of paper in my bra and pretended I had put it in the stack of entries. The other game, I totally cheated and looked at what the people next to me had written. Anyway, I didn't win any prizes. But they had prepared for me ahead of time and made me my own vegetarian lasagna. And I got lots of cake and cookies and that kind of thing makes me happy.

St. Patrick's Day is always really hard for me. Thirty two years now since I lost my Michael. I'm coming down from the party anxiety from yesterday, it really does take a lot out of me to be social. I've basically just been asleep since I got home last night. It's snowing. I'm sad, unbathed, still tired and I'm making lists of all the things I have to do tomorrow and I kind of just want to go back to sleep right now. And I probably will.

In other news. My spice job is going well. I'm very excited about it, actually. There is a lot of stuff happening there and I think I found a good place for myself to be. And, I know many people will be upset with me about this...my old job asked me to come and work this weekend. And I hope it turns into a thing. I really need a restaurant job to pay the bills while spicing. And I really don't have time or energy to vet restaurants trying to find something that fits. I'm not going to spend 8 hours a day just to make $60. And I'm spending a lot of time learning this spice thing and I really don't have the brain capacity to learn a new restaurant job at the moment. So, if this works out this weekend, I'm going to be really happy and maybe the cats can go off their fancy feast rations.

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