new diary.
sippin40z
here i am home sick with my mom eating jello and listening to the misfits(?) and nothing to do. so i thought i would write in here???? yea. sweet.
i did not do anything all weekend except for going to cruise night on friday and it sucked because i had this migraine shit that ive never had before and it sucks and i still kind of have it. all i did this weekend was get drunk on friday night. this weekend i better get fucked up or im getting PISSED. so why do all the pretty girls do oxy anyways? cassie, melissa, and kim do it. i don't want to try it, it still doesnt seem that appealing. especially since turtle is on it. sometimes a get a little curious, but i dont even want to begin thinking of that because i know adam would try it too. but i dont even care.
so i saw melissa on friday. why is she so pretty? ahah. actually not just her i bet a lot more girls in paso are pretty like her and i bet they are all RICH. damn it.
yea so i hung out with my family mostly all weekend. i need a friend. like a girl friend. adam is my best friend, but he has guy friends too that he can hang out with, and i want a girl who wants to do that with me too. but no one really fits me. and everyone would rather be my sisters friend anyways. so it kind of sucks. i am a loser.
maybe if i called nicole or something. i am just afraid she might annoy me or something. i dont know... i kind of wished cassie would be a new friend but she is better friends with michele n stuff. yea pretty sweet
so i havent written in here for a long ass time and really i don't give a shit anymore. but a lot of crap has changed and apparently im not in the mood to write about it in here because it would probably take me all night right? yeah.
adam and i have been going out for almost 10 months now and so far it is going greaT! and i dont even care what my parents think about him because they dont know him. just because hes not like cory...
i hang out with a whole different group now... joah, doug, moises, sam, kris, scott, kyle, josh, matt... they are older than me but i dont care because its better than hanging out with fuckin priscilla. i think i get a long with people in pr than people in atas. atas people are so god damn boring! so sheltered! no one in this town even likes me anyways. and i dont like them either haha :)
but sometimes i get the feeling that my new friends dont care about me either. it sometimes seems like adam is the only one that cares about me... and mark has changed so much it makes me sad hes kind of like an asshole now... he doenst really like adam i dont think and he hangs out with scott so much! its annoying when its scott and makr togehter their fuckin lame assholes. sometimes i wish i never became friends with scott but then i realize i am really glad we did even though he has drug and alcohol problems. and when it comes to him and nicole they are so much drama! but i know nicole doesnt want any part of it and i know she doesnt mean to start it anymore.
omg and i am friends with melissa now!!1 its cool! melissa and marieke! i drank with both of them at a party last weekend and the weekend before that :) it was awesome hahaha
yea i just go to parties now. and i just stay in paso because its better than staying in atown! it makes me irritated whenever i hear priscilla talking because she tries to make me jealous(is that the right word?) by talking in front of me about there was a keg at dans house? hahaha and im like i dont even fucking care you loser is that your first time tappin it or something jesus and her and jessica always try to make me jealous by them becoming best friends and both of them are fucking annoying and fat and i dont care about eighter of them.
and now i think daniel and cassie are going to hook up! cassie moved here a while ago from santa maria, but i kinda talked to her on myspace before. but yea cassie thinks daniel is really hot and i bet daniel wants to hook up with her! but thats kind of weird. eh.
i dont know if ill write in this anytime soon. but yea ill ttyl. <3
hmm... this weekend was fun!!! me and adam were walking downtown friday night and then we saw joah tommy and frank so we hung out there for while and then we went to joahs house because joah was having a party and yeaaaaaaaaa! that was kind of fun... getting drunk isnt fun for me anymore i am sorry. yea then the next day we went to franks for a while, then after that we went to jimmys party (such a nice house). that was alright too. i didnt puke that night. we left jimmys at like 11:30 and went back to joahs and there was a party there again haha. but i fell asleep becasue i was bored and adam was being a jerk. i hate asian girls now.
it was pretty sweet how i woke up to him puking a river of pink rice all over me and kellys jacket
anyway i dont like how it feels like adam always tries to get rid of me so he can go to parties? and i dont like how he drools over girls in my face even though we had a long talk about that. it seems like that didnt even matter to him and he doesnt care about my feelings. ok i dont like how he looks at stefanie all the time. damn it stefanie! you asshole. i wish i was one of those girls who everyone likes. because that would meen i have a personality ahah. like callie and paige. they are out snowboarding. is that what the "cool" girls do? snowboard? dont megan and christi and bianca do that? yea i guess the "hot" girls snowboard. eh.
i have all f's in my classes. my mom wants to have a meeting with all of my teachers and she doesnt want me going out until i bring them back up. bleh. today is valentines day, and me and adam arent hanging out i dont know if im too lazy to bring my grades up or not. damn it. mimi might go to del rio so that would be freaky. i think i dont like school is because i dont have any friends in there anymore. or maybe i never did? anyway, yea i dont really have friends to talk to, only that lame kurt cobain group. those girls are too popular for me anyways.
so mimi and cory hate me
my mom said i fucked this family up
they both said i should just leave
because i threw a straightener on the ground
its not like i was aiming at mimi
and i know its rude to not answer the beeps and im sorry
geez
im just some fat lazy slut who doesnt have any friends.
i like that
I GET BORED.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
so maybe i am FUCKING LOSER i cant stop saying that and its really actually starting to get depressing. this is the first time since freaking SO LONG that i have stayed home on a friday ;( i probably will stay home all weekend also.
i dont even deserve to breathe.
im sorry for getting mad at you, i think im just jealous because you always have friends to talk to and all i have is a fucking book to write in. maybe on top of that your really good friend is your EX GIRLFRIEND and she still likes you a lot. i dont know. please dont hate me anymore. its hard to not have someone to talk to...ill go crazy or something. i think i already am..
it doesnt mean anything without you here with me
i still need you here with me