Thursday, Oct. 07, 2004 - 8:45 PM

This will be my last post on diaryland.
Please visit me at LJ. Same username.

It seems like we have come full circle:

Beware the Bite of the Wild Wacoan

The company I work for is opening several new stores in the next few weeks including stores in San Diego, Boynton Beach Florida, Rochester New York, Newton Mass (my store), and Waco Texas.

Waco, F-ing Texas! I shit you not. Check it out here http://www.vitaminshoppe.com if you dont believe me.

Anyway, here is my sick fantasy sequence:

(These events have not and probably will not occur. They are provided here for both the writer's and reader's enjoyment.)

The company is having a hard time (now there's a shocker) finding experienced management for the Waco, Texas store set to open in November. HR notices that I spent 4 years in Waco, Texas and have years of retail experience.

HR Dude: "Would you be interested in transfering to our Waco store?"

Me: "Um...not really."

HR Dude: "But you have told us you are interested in transfering within the company..."

Me: "Yes, but within New England and I stated I would concider NY as well..."

HR Dude: "Well, we are pretty desperate and will, of course, assist with relocation expenses and what-not..."

Me: "Would you give me 24 hour protection?"

HR Dude: "Huh? What? Why?"

Me: "Never mind..."

HR Dude: "What can we do to get you to reconcider this position?"

Me: "Double my salary."

HR Dude: "Haha, seriously, what's wrong with Waco? You were there for, what?, four years? Is it that bad?"

Me: "I have an ex-wife in Waco Texas."

HR Dude: "Oh. Sorry. Geez. Um, never mind then..."

Me: "Never Mind? Never Mind ?! Never Mind?!?!?!?!"

I then throw the phone thru a plate glass window and then drive overnight to the corporate office to find this HR guy. The rest is now evidence in a murder trial and/or the plot to an episode of Law & Order: SVU.

End dream sequence.

Okay, I think I have this out of my system now.

Evidently Waco will haunt me no matter where I go. For the rest of my days on this planet.

You think I should make the sign of the Star of David every time Waco is mentioned in my presence? Wouldnt that be ironic? What about garlic? Or silver bullets? Will those work on the Wild Wacoan?

Beware the bit of the Wild Wacoan my friends.

And, with that, I am done with everything I want to say here.

Thanks and God Bless!

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