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Shit Ames, you're still here? I'm glad to see Dland is not completely, 100 percently dead. =D ALSO, I know how you feel. Getting nookie isn't all it's cracked up to be when there's no love behind it. =/

from realitychic :

In response to your last entry: I miss those things too. But I'm excited to find what new things adulthood has to offer. And yes, we seem to be the last of the Mohicans ^_^

from realitychic :

Amy I love how your last entry was me all over (besides all the details that had nothing to do with me). I don't know which way is up, down or around. I'm kind of just here.

from realitychic :

that's "wasn't"!!!

from realitychic :

Amy you are important to people. I think you're a great friend even though we can't see each other much which sucks. I have the same problem with wanting someone to love me. But it gets dangerous when you tie your emotions to someone who isn't as emotionally involved as you are. When we talked I was saying "fuck Ben, forget he existed". I was just warning you of what you're going through right now: being depressed and thinking about him all the time. You're never going to find that perfect love in someone, who will complete you (I'm just beginning to realize this). You have to learn to love yourself first and trust others--which means trusting that they care about you just like you care about them.

from realitychic :

:( Let's disappear together.

from realitychic :

Congrats Amy! Today is my day. Yay me! Yay us!

from realitychic :

Amy, wow, your entry is so sad. You are so not a failure so don't you dare give in to that attitude. I haven't seen any of your work, but just because it's not "good enough" for some stupid stuck up people at Goucher doesn't mean it's worthless. Art should be a passion. Not a form of commerce or recognition. I think true artists are the ones who do it out of love anyway. Plus, I can't believe you ever listen to people at your school. They are so needlessly negative (from the things you've told me) and I can assure you that they won't go far in life always pushing other people down to get to the top. I love you Amy. Even if your art isn't prize worthy, it's still lovely because you put your heart in it. And I've never entered any gallery for art or sang a song for a contest or ran a race....I realized the other day that I have no real talents. I like writing and I guess I'm okay at it, but that's about it. Who fucking cares if that's not good enough for someone. Cheer up kid ^_^

from realitychic :

awww.....yeah I'm def. going to cry at graduation..I might even bawl. I can't imagine leaving my friends. They're all so great and a lot of them I might not see again for a very long time, if ever. It's amazing how the little things that people do can have such an impact on your life. But anyway, I hope you're doing well. I'm going to call you this weekend because I miss you and wow I haven't heard your voice in awhile. Your prom is this weekend? I guess you guys are getting out earlier than my school. Have so much fun!! And then call me and we'll talk about it for hours ^_^

from realitychic :

Oh. My. Christ. When will I ever see you now? Sniff....this sucks really bad. But I guess your mom has a right to be pissed. She could still let you come though. Ugh...oh well. We have to find a way to hang out sometime then. I haven't seen you in forever again and I was looking forward to seeing you on Sunday. This summer: you, me and wherever we happen to go. *Huggle*

from realitychic :

AMY!! AHHH I'm so sorry. I'm too freaking busy and shouldn't be online right now but tomorrow I am so going to call you. I would call you later on tonight but I always feel weird calling people late. My mom freaks out when people call here after 10 so I try not to do that to other people. ANYWAY, I have so much to tell you, so when we do talk it will be a long conversation. Tomorrow is going to be so fun. Can't wait! (oh and it's so cute you went to "help" Ben find a tux..aww)

from realitychic :

Hey Amy! God whenever I try to update I never can. No wonder I never come here anymore. I miss you so much and I read some of your entries. *Big hug* Death is really scary and it does make you appreciate those you love so much more. To think that life is so short, in one instant it can be gone. You never know when your last goodbye can be..well your last. So I just wanted to say I LOVE YOU! Not that I expect anything bad to happen but I do want you to know how much I care about you. Aw...I feel like crying now. Ha ha. I'm calling you tomorrow and if you come to church on sunday I'm giving you a huge hug!

from realitychic :

AMY! I'm dying!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (I miss you *sniff*)

from realitychic :

Back to the Future! Wheeeeeeeee! ha ha I'm so bored

from realitychic :

"and I saw Randhal's Mom..eek" HA HA HA. Thanks amy for making me feel a little better. It was nice seeing you sunday. Sorry we couldn't talk tonight.

from realitychic :

Nightcrawler..haha. Yeah, Amy I have a little bit of advice for you: your best bet is to be pessimistic. In other words in this case it's better to expect the worse (i.e. he doesn't want to go to prom with you) because judging from his history I doubt he has his emotions together yet and you'll probably just end up hurt again if you put so much trust into him. I have the same problem with friends. I can get clingy and paranoid just because finding a friend is so hard for me. When I get one I doubt that they really care about me. And then it seems like I'm always lacking friends. But I've been doing better lately. Everyone has been making me feel so loved lately. I think it truthfully was a change of mind set (at least for now). When I stopped being so consumed with myself, it was easier to step back and see how much people do care. Of course I still have work to do..but yeah. Anyway, love you and hope everything is going okay.

from realitychic :

ACK! I know I miss you so much! This is terrible isn't it, even I didn't see it coming. I mean I knew I'd be in trouble but geez. Anyway, I LOVE YOU TOO (and unlike some people I really mean it!). Hope to see you soon.

from realitychic :

happy birthday, birthday girl. Hope it's a blast.

from realitychic :

AMY!! I'm here with you girl. I think it's a good idea to just walk away. Let it go. He'll either come to his senses now or miss out on something great and regret it later. Either way you can do this. I think you're going to pull through, you've just got to stop thinking about him and what you two could be. You might miss out on something better because you were busy waiting for him. I can totally relate to you right now but on a different level. I hope you're feeling better. See you Sunday? (I hope)

from realitychic :

ok, I so didn't read the one entry you were talking about until now. >_< sorry all this shitty stuff is happening, but I'm right there with you. I think you'll be my life source over the next week (if you need one I'll be yours too). Whatever peace or happiness you can try to get over your break, I wish you the best of it. I'll try to do the same.

from realitychic :

and don't worry darling I got you something ;)

from realitychic :

mcdonald's is so not cool. the aquarium is though.

from lemondeath :

heh yeah.. it would probably take awhile to get used to.

from lemondeath :

yeah that's what I peirced mine with except I don't have a ring or even a stud to keep in it so it closed up. This weekend I'll go out and buy myself one from somewhere....I don't care if my mom sees it... it's my life.

from completeliar :

if everyone in the world was just like you, the world would be a pretty cool place.

from lemondeath :

Dont give up

from realitychic :

Ya know I was looking at the conversation and started to feel kind of bad because you wrote like 1500 lines and I only wrote 10. Ha ha. Sorry about that. But yeah, I'm working on that story (it's still in my head right now) and I'm hoping for the best in this whole thing.

from lemondeath :

*password

from lemondeath :

you think I'm cool? That's so nice.. thank you.. about the note page..(yeah lots of drama) alright I'll make a paswrod for you but I really am quite boring.

from realitychic :

damn amy I forgot your password and crap. email it to me (PLEASE!)

from realitychic :

hey..how goes it? how did you get your okcupid thing on your diary? ttyl.

from realitychic :

sorry i never called you back. i'm really busy. we'll talk sometime, just not during this week. my work is insane!

from realitychic :

hey! glad you had fun. as usual the guys follow the glorius goddess everywhere (just kidding!). Talk to you soon (but not for too long because I have to finish summer reading).

from realitychic :

hey amy. haven't talked to you in awhile. i tried calling but i guess you weren't home. (for once!) hope to talk to you soon, and have fun on your trip thing.

from realitychic :

ok amy, it tried signing your gbook, but it wouldn't let me. so here is what i was going to say: three, two, one..let's jam! (hee hee, I like that)

from realitychic :

i've added a new "Q": Why can't I be a blonde white chick so I can work at Baskin-Robbins and be treated fairly, based on my dignity instead of a racial stereotype.

from realitychic :

affirmative action is on its way out so..tough luck kid.oh, btw, I know how it feels. Baskin-Robbins still hasn't called me!

from realitychic :

happy amy?

from realitychic :

I don't wanna to grow up...cause I'm a toys r' us kid..da.da.da.dee.dee.da.. (hee hee)

from realitychic :

well excuse me!!

from realitychic :

amy you aren't a bad influence ok. and you aren't really a "rebel" either. you're just different than most of my christian friends because you're much more open minded and hold unconventional views about things. but that doesn't make you less of a friend, so don't be offended ok? i love you :)

from realitychic :

amy i loved that last entry. totally true. i always feel i have to justify too, but we don't. we're christians and we're proud, right?

from realitychic :

geez amy you make me sound like I'm George Bush or something. cut me some slack.

from compie :

"look at the cut on my penis!" ~Cassie

from realitychic :

yeah...it's funny that the "yummy" line was kind of a last minute add in..i wasn't sure about it either. i might just leave the story untitled...who knows. btw sorry i couldn't talk. i was busy.

from realitychic :

whoa! the hostility! i'm sorry amy that a lot of people at church don't understand you, but haven't i made an effort to push aside my own beliefs to accept yours? not everyone is against you!! (unless something happened that i don't know about..and the pot thing...who are the 3 people you talked to at church?) i'm not judging you for thinking different. that's fine if you want to see things a different way. i hope i didn't offend you by sharing my side of the story. i suppose i wasn't thinking about your side. btw, sorry i didn't call you. i've been sick, busy and out of town. tomorrow i'll call you.

from ann-drew :

Hey, Compie. ummm. just wanted to say hi. i'm going to Disney World for a while. no entries for a while... later. andrew.

from realitychic :

who? who?

from realitychic :

*gasp!!!* i'm going to kill that man! wth!!wtf!! r u talking about that stalking girl...the ugly one..he must have been rejected or something..i'l call you for sure!!!

from realitychic :

i eat until i'm full...btw your story was cool. it leaves u to imagine (is there any chance that guys name starts with an "R"?)

from realitychic :

should i change my template: yes or no

from realitychic :

it's not u...trust me (eat some green beans like the jolly green giant *hint,hint*...lol... couldn't resist. sorry)

from realitychic :

lol..i knew u wouldn't like the 12 year old thing...i was going to clarify the fact that your face looks older but i said "what the heck...if amy wants to complain she will". btw, yes i had fun and i'll call u from now on :)

from ann-drew :

Hi. thanks for leaving me a note. you know, i've only gotten random weirdos leaving me notes so far and you're actually really cool. and, you like Bright Eyes, too! i really like your diary, too. hah, and just by the way i don't really live in Alaska, i was just kidding when i wrote that, but northern Michigan. same thing, right? anyways though. yeah, you're really cool, i'm gonna list you as one of my favorite diaries. i hope you list me, too. i'm still new to D-land and i need friends. later.

from realitychic :

um...update please? btw ready for ring dance? it should be very depressing

from realitychic :

oh thanks amy...i guess i'm one of those dumb people

from realitychic :

i'm just kidding :)

from realitychic :

you're a whore!

from grifgirl :

i'd sell you my car if i could! things aren't fair, man. i have a car that i don't want and you need a car! ahh well.

from realitychic :

yeah amy you aren't the only one who has nothing. I had a job and my parents made me quite, no cell, no car, no permit!! all is have is a lousy excuse for a computer which i am typing on now. So be depressed with me.

from realitychic :

from grifgirl :

i have a car and i would love, *love* to get rid of it (in fact i'm trying to sell my car right now). i do feel the cell phone thing, though. i would love one, but that's not going to happen. but anyway. the wedding sounds really cool. i've actually been two two hindu-christian weddings, so yeah. i get the whole 'it was a lot of fun' thing. *grins*

from meowsaykitty :

haha sorry i've neglected your pretty little journal... it's prettier than mine but yeah i've neglected mine even more. haha but it's new and shiny now go see!!

from srch-n-dstry :

I saw Bad Religion live 3 times, compie...you gotta get your ass a ticket before you die. your soul will thank you for it.

from srch-n-dstry :

Do as the prompt tells you to do and remember: Search And Destroy. http://members.diaryland.com/edit/addpub.phtml?user=srch-n-dstry

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