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Just because others in your family didn't pursue school and things, does not mean you shouldn't or can't. You are your own person following your own dream! And you deserve it.

from raven72d :

miss reading you.

from sduckie :

Congratulations!

from raven72d :

miss you. wish we could talk. call sometime.

from sduckie :

Damn girl! That's a lot of puking. I hope you feel better... and that you get a positive call about that interview real soon!!

from raven72d :

write soon.

from sduckie :

I suck at small talk too!

from samson111 :

I did not recieve your password I dont know what happened. Did you send it to [email protected]? Hope everything is ok.

from sduckie :

I understand... absolutely no one in my life even knows I have this diary... because I want it to be a safe place for myself. I hope you will send me your new url my email is [email protected]

from raven72d :

i do hope you won't go. after seven years... well. i hope you will stay and keep writing.

from samson111 :

I am going to miss you. Can I have your new url? My email add. is [email protected] I hope everything is allright.

from sduckie :

It seems people would know better than to piss off the knife girl.

from aryssa18 :

we all need someone to take care of us sometimes.

from sduckie :

It is always tough when you love someone and they move on, especially to someone else... even when you know it's really not about you, it's about that person. Hoping you find some peace and joy in the holiday :)

from raven72d :

I hope things go better.

from raven72d :

I hope the holiday goes well for you... And I always love hearing from you.

from sduckie :

I feel for you sweetie. I am like that too about pelvic exams... I know so many women that find them traumatizing, you would think that they would require special sensitivity training in medicine... well they should! You are in my prayers today. Treat yourself and take it easy. Love, Duck

from sduckie :

Well, there is one thing missing when you "have it made" -- risk. And sometimes risk is good for the soul, in love and in life. It's how we learn the most about ourselves. I know wherever you go, you will land on your feet. :)

from sduckie :

Huh, I thought your bday was today? I am all confused. I guess I'll just keep wishing you happy birthday until it comes. Happy Birthday!!! :)

from anthronut :

Hello! I found your diary through sducke. I've been reading for a while now and I realized I didn't give you a heads up ( I recently got all pissy about someone reading mine without telling me and then here I go being a hypocrit). So anyway, hope you're doing well!!!

from sduckie :

Well let me wish you Happy Birthday ahead of time! :)

from offi2 :

hi just want to say i'm happy that i found your diary, it's very nice to read it because of the somehow special way you have to describe things and thinkings...keep on, i like it.

from sduckie :

you can buy pads for the inside of the heels of your shoes to keep them from slipping... I have skinny heels and it makes a difference! I hope you enjoy your trip to SoCal!

from kimluvs2read :

I truly wish I could say something that would bring you to the light at the end of the tunnel, I know there is one, it may be very faint. I know how it feels to be in that black spot, where you know you shouldn't feel what you feel, that life isn't as bad as it seems, and I feel like two seperate people when I am there, because I hear the truth being screamed at me from the real me, it is usually unrecogizable for awhile, but eventually that truth shines bright enough to follow out of my whole. Good luck, and best wishes and strong happy vibes! Feel better! :)

from raven72d :

Girls have been vur' kind about the bald spot issue. All but the one in L.A. have said that bald spots mean nothing in terms of sexual value. So maybe I do feel better... I can't not t older, but the bald spot (if it really happens) may be something I could survive. So...many thanks.

from raven72d :

Thanks for the Lists... Much appreciated. But it's always sad and depressing when attractive girls say they no longer sleep around. My only hope in life is that girls who sleep with dozens of guys will eventually sweep me up as some miscellaneous encounter...

from sduckie :

no worries- I didn't consider it butting in. I like notes! And I probably need all the help I can get! Rock on, sister!

from sduckie :

Thanks for the note. I thought about that, and decided I'll just be very slow to respond to any texts... appreciate your viewpoint! Love, Duck

from and-darling :

And by "entired" I meant "entries".

from and-darling :

I was just going to say it's nice chancing across someone who can write well. Do love your entried.

from raven72d :

Please don't delete or abandon this diary. I've only just discovered your writing.

from sduckie :

I hate the cell phone thing too. People hardly stay in the moment anymore and can't concentrate on anything! Hard to have a relationship with someone like that.

from raven72d :

Loneliness will do that. Remember: I make a good voice.

from raven72d :

do send me an e-mail address... that makes writing easier... Your long note did have answers it in. I'd just have been too scared at 18 or 19 to risk losing financial support and maybe a place to stay if I had to move home. But even more--- and this lasted the rest of my life ---I'd have been afraid of having to Explain myself, to justify what I might be doing. I hate having to tell people (or feeling like I have to tell people) what I'm doing and Why. I'll run far from any situation where I have to justify my decisions to a hostile audience.

from raven72d :

I miss t.a.t.u.

from raven72d :

I do love those ideas... I'd like to think you were right. We must discuss these things.

from raven72d :

do e-mail me, girl... i like the Juice and the Micra, and I have a whole collection of Randall-Made and little Gerber Ultra-Lites... And I'd love to hear about the balcony in the south of France... Stories do mean a lot.

from raven72d :

don't forget to e-mail me... i hope we can share and exchange stories.

from raven72d :

I love that image... E-mail me sometime... My diary name at yahoo... I'd like to know more about you...

from raven72d :

One day we must talk about Donna Tartt.

from raven72d :

Naked on a balcony--- a cigarette is required. That goes with the whole "Red Shoe Diaries" ambience... And try a book: Kawabata's "Snow Country"...or Cynthia Gralla's "The Floating World"...

from raven72d :

Re: Eric... I hate it that American society in the Year Eight draws these strange lines about age, lines that say that each little age cohort should be self-enclosed, with no friends or lovers or acquaintances more than a year or two older or younger.

from raven72d :

The balcony image is lovely... I wish you'd been across the road from my own. "Secret History" always struck me as more of a winter book... I do enjoy your thoughts, and I will be reading along. Please do come visit and read and comment...

from sduckie :

How was the dinner? I am glad all your people are home and that you are surrounded by big protective dogs... :) Take good care. Love, Duck

from raven72d :

Don't vanish... I do hope to hear from you.

from sduckie :

Well, I don't know what to say, but I wanted to say hi. Yes full body kisses are the best! Sending you a hug and a wish that you will figure it all out, what is good for you...

from kimluvs2read :

5/28/08- I hope you find the clarity you need. Best Wishes, and Big Hugs!

from kimluvs2read :

Thanks! :)

from kimluvs2read :

Just had to say that you say what I feel much better than I do. It is almost scary to read my thoughts written by someone else.

from raven72d :

Just stopped by to say that I envy you being in Italy... and do love reading your entries.

from raven72d :

Donna Tartt--- oh, yes! And--- you're a lovely find: good entries.

from sduckie :

(sigh) I so like lesbian porn too. But it's hard to find the good stuff that isn't totally fake and made for men, in my experience.... maybe you can recommend something? ;) I need a healthier distraction...

from kanyooceemee :

i know that feeling. like you aren't really there, kind of transparent. sometimes it's a horrible feeling because i need to be seen other times i embrace it.

from ceilings :

i compare myself to a blowfish. similar to a porcupine.

from ceilings :

shout outs from one bi femme to another! and also, i wanted to say i could relate to what you were saying about depression, how it seems to be always there, in some way. <33333 i live with it too. i can be really hard sometimes but i don't know, i think it fuels my creativity and makes me the interesting person i am. i sometimes think i wouldn't really be me without it. happy belated birthday too!

from cherry250 :

I finally found some1 bi for my friend. Her name is sasha and she has a diary too. her screen name is called chocolate_kiss_sasha. she also has and email called [email protected]. i think she would really appreciate it if you would talk to her sometimes.

from five5 :

hello...i just found your diary in a "ring" lol. but im also a bi teenager just looking for people i can talk and relate to. if you have a screenname or something mabye we could talk...or maybe not. im just reaching out.

from gothangel :

I hate labels, they put you in a box. on the flip side, being BI is 2 worlds that never fade.

from dazy-rox :

hey i just read some of your diary! it rox!

from ba13ygurl :

Sometimes love inspires us, sometimes it builds our faith. Sometimes love is painful, but in the end, we all know, without love we wouldn't have the courage to breathe

from hemopoetic :

it just hurts to watch you try so hard to self-destruct.

from hemopoetic :

thanks for that last bit of AIMness, love. but don't worry about the non-update thing, i was half kidding when i said that (i.e. remember the craziness, sarcasm attack?). *smile* and i doubt you'll get this 'til days and days later but just thought you should know. i hope you have a beautiful time. store those memories somewhere safe, ok? *huggles*

from bobbib :

Yo,I read your diary and it's kickass! Sometime check mine it's ok I guess I'm new so watch out LOL Peace out

from hemopoetic :

*grin* ai, my pretty bunnu, i want to kiss you good morning (my teeths are brushed and everything!) *laugh*

from viperj :

It's a great read :) I like your diary and your writing style is enjoy just as much :)

from dropsofyouth :

i like your diary, Angel. check out mine some time. -dropsofyouth

from hemopoetic :

gee, i hope she never finds this note....if she cared enough to click enough links from my lj, she could find this....oh well. heart.

from hemopoetic :

(in response to your latest entry) if i could, i'd be snuggled up on a couch, cuddling/making out with vani because i like her. she's cute and such. but that's mainly due to ovulation. plus, i'd be all clumsy like 'cuz i haven't got much experience...yeah. stuff. mons, my dear. ;)

from cheekigrrl :

:) found a bi chi by the looks of it :) yay....havent read you diary yet..iv eonly got 1 entry in kine.,just came here...shall input more in a couple o days *damn cats sittin on my lap* :) im from aus...*mwah* nice to kinda chat :P cya xo

from lezbian :

Thanx for the reply! Enjoy your reads.

from lezbian :

I'm just letting you know that I read your diary! Check mine out if you'd like :)

from shmoe :

Ignore my stupid nickname. Your diary is a uplifting,smart way of thinking. I came across your diary when i clicked on my fav movie and your name popped up as someone who enjoyed "better than chocolate" write me back. I'd like to talk to some other bisexuals such as myself.

from amber87 :

i found your diary by accident & read a bit cause the server's not letting me update mine right now. Wow. Enjoying you, um, your writing & will prolly link later if that's ok!

from hemopoetic :

love you.

from guavagrrrl :

you've lived quite the full life, haven't you?

from guavagrrrl :

i feel like the things you are saying have just jumped out of me, right over the bullshit and out into the world.

from guavagrrrl :

whoo! i even got a mention in the diary! how cool. *right on*

from guavagrrrl :

hey guess what! september nineteenth is talk like a pirate day. better talk like a pirate, or i'll beat you up. *makes fierce face* arg!

from hemopoetic :

miss you.

from hemopoetic :

i love how we JUST missed each other...not really though. yay! yay playness! heart.

from hemopoetic :

THE BUTCHIES - HEARTFELT... don't i look like i just woke up an hour ago// i keep thinking i see somebody but there's no one around //if i could ask you for a minute of your time// i'd tell you that i've been awake for days// that's not really true// i've been walking around asleep thinking about you// could have seen it coming but we were too far apart// am remembering why today is so hard// i'd like to take you with me// it's not too far from here// can someone tell me where was i yesterday// and what was i doing// there's absolutely no way i can tell you what you mean to me// i wish that i could transfer my thoughts into what your brain is thinking// there's no one who can comfort me when i get this way// can someone tell me what is it that's so hard about today//

from hemopoetic :

love you too *hug*

from hemopoetic :

JIMMY EAT WORLD - THE MIDDLE...Hey, don't write yourself off yet//It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.// Just try your best, try everything you can.// And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.// It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle, it'll up the ride.// Everything (everything) will be just fine,// everything (everything) will be alright (alright).// Hey, you know they're all the same.// You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.// Live right now.// Yeah, just be yourself.// It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.// It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.// Everything (everything) will be just fine,// everything (everything) will be alright (alright).// It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.// Everything (everything) will be just fine,// everything (everything) will be alright (alright).// Hey, don't write yourself off yet.// It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.// Just do your best, do everything you can.// And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.// It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.// Everything (everything) will be just fine,// everything (everything) will be alright (alright).// It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.// Everything (everything) will be just fine,// everything (everything) will be alright (alright).//

from hemopoetic :

i'm tired. but i thought i'd drop you a note to let you know you're a wise one. bleh. sounds so lame but it's true. love.

from hemopoetic :

*sigh* it is late/early. 2:07 a.m. the entry says you were on at 10:37 or something. At 10:37 I wanted to go online a lot because I missed you but the brother was online and I had a lot of cleaning to do. Bah. I love you. It's weird but I do. And I know this is a mood meaning that it is impermanent and maybe tomorrow you'll be okay. Wake up and you might feel a bit "ishy" but it will be muted compared to what it was while you wrote the entry. If not tomorrow, sometime soon. Don't think of yourself as a whore. You are too beautiful, too smart, too talented, too lovely to be a whore. Yes, we all whore around sometime in some form but the context I see you using it as makes me want to stomp 'whore' out of the English language. I don't appreciate people calling you whore or bitch either. I really, really dislike that. A LOT. People are dumb and use words carelessly. Bah to them. I don't know who these people are but I'm guessing some are 'friends' who don't know what they're talking about. YOU know who you are and why you've done what you've done. It's funny to me that they don't have the insight to...I guess understand why you might act as you do. Grargh. It would seem obvious to me, regardless of whether I talked to you online or not. You are human and so fucking beautiful because you ARE human and imperfect. Imperfection is what humanity is all about. It's human to feel lonely. Human to want to fill the void. Human to want to please others. Human to want to be loved. Human to want to be a wonderful person. Human to want to be admired, to say the witty things when we should to make the crowd laugh, etc. It is also human to be what you call "selfish" and this is where people like you and me get caught because we're too smart for our own good and are aware of this. This is why I swear we live in someone's head together. Because I know you already know all this but maybe you need to hear it from someone else so you know you aren't crazy. Remember my dear, we're all clumsy dancers pretending to fly when we're doing anything but. And that I miss you and love you. I think that's all. And this really should have been an email but I didn't know I was going to ramble on so long. *HUG**KISS**LOVE*

from hemopoetic :

i love you. gosh, this is getting sickening isn't it dear? *sigh* *smile* *laugh* *tickle* mwahahaha. yeah. so. love. interesting mood. yay.

from hemopoetic :

love you. look. more love. i hope you aren't tired of that either.

from hemopoetic :

tanky. love.

from hemopoetic :

nikki is loved *hug*

from hemopoetic :

Oh goody! Sparkly, shiny and new! I'm the first to use this notes feature thingy. I'm so excited! Yeah....so....anyway. Remember, I'm easily amused. Anywho, sounds like drama. As if we didn't have enough of that. I am sure you're loving and caring and amazing and all those other adjectives the boy attributed to you. I enjoyed talking with you last night (?) and put your fears to rest because it wasn't creepy. If anything, I was afraid I'd freaked YOU out after pouring out randomness of my life. :) I enjoy reading your diary too because it's so raw and full of feeling. I like that. A lot. Thank you for being so honest. Your entry reminds me none of "us" are really alone. "Us" being the emo kids, the passionate ones, if not in style then at heart. :)

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