messages to lollirottt:
(click here to add new message):

from fatalbreath :
I'm sorry things are so tough right now. The title of your entry is interesting because cleaning out some drawers this afternoon I found an old paper journal and I had written the same thing... "I'm the problem, it's me." You are so strong to continue to live instead of giving in to destruction. I didn't win this weekend but I will keep fighting. Email me if you want/need. You're not alone.
from fatalbreath :
Thank you. I appreciate it, seriously. And the offer is reciprocal. I will email when my brain is less chaotic and maybe we can find a mutual place that's easier to chat. I hope you're doing alright <3
from fatalbreath :
KEEP FIGHTING <3 You can do this. WE can do this. I just want to be healthy. Or healthier I guess.
from fatalbreath :
Just read your update and I'm sorry you're struggling :( Sending love and positive energy to keep fighting for your health. You deserve good things <3
from fatalbreath :
Happy New Year! I'm doing alright. Doing pretty well with my new years goals but we'll see how long it lasts lol. Keeping a journal is really helping me but I haven't updated here in a while maybe I should.
from fatalbreath :
Beautiful <3 Happy belated birthday! I know what you mean about it still being special.
from fatalbreath :
long time... Hope you're doing okay. Feel like sharing u/p?
from cherrygash :
Yes i would def like to keep in touch. You have my email still? I think i still have yours. Glad to hear you are doing ok!
from cherrygash :
Its ok, thanks i got ur email. Ive been behind. I read ur latest entry and sorry to hear about your tests not turning out well. Kudos for the weight loss, (if you needed it). I wish i had a wii to exercise on, id buy those dance ones. How are you feeling lately?
from cherrygash :
Would you mind if i gave you my email and then you can delete the note?
from cherrygash :
Thanks, ill email you. Sorry you havent felt well. Im glad my note helped. :) im a little behind on my should-dos, but i will email and get up to date soon!
from cherrygash :
Hi, dont know if u remember me. I havent been on for quite some time and was reading old notes. Just wanted to say hi and see how you are doing.
from caprihype :
Hi Lollirott. I saw you left a note for my user and pw. Not sure when you left you it. I don't go on here much anymore, however, if I knew a secure way to send it to you then let me know. Thanks! You seem to have good taste as well...
from lostasyou :
I updated x
from comebacktome :
Hey, of course I remember you :) Thanks for the note. I don't have a current password for your diary, so I have no idea what is going on in your life, sorry. Sorry about your dad too. It's hard when you have a non-linear family, so I appreciate it that people out there understand, even if it just in the ether of the inter webs lol.
from lostasyou :
I sent a reply x
from lostasyou :
I updated about 2 nights ago, that's the most I'll say in about a month now haha I tend to write rarely. Feel better.
from lostasyou :
Are you okay?
from lostasyou :
Sure thing :) just email [email protected] and I will give you the password :) also may I ask for yours?
from thatgirlx :
Please keep fighting, D. Please please please please please. I love you. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
from enurta :
hello sweetie. everything is going to be okay. don't worry please. you are in a tough situation and you need to be free. i wish i was there. i wish i could help you. i wish you were here. i wish every kind soul could find peace. love you forever. i hope you know.
from enurta :
thank you thatgirlx for taking care of danielle and helping her. i love her a lot.
from thatgirlx :
It's gonna be okay. It really really really really is. If you need to talk to me the whole time you're at the bus station, then we'll talk the whole time. Okay? You've done this before, and you can do it again. And you're gonna feel amazing for making it through this on your own. You're gonna be like HOLY SHIT! I AM A BOSS BITCH! (Haha, okay maybe you won't say it exactly like that, but you know what I mean!) And I'm gonna be really super duper proud of you too. And I need this. And you need this. So do this for us. K? K. I love you, babe. And I'm gonna see you really soon. And it's gonna be amazing. And we'll get drunk and be silly and listen to way too much music and we'll get to hug each other whenever we want and on the 20th we're gonna go see Marianas Trench and and I'm probably gonna faint but it'll be okay, cause you'll be there and you'll make it all better. Right? RIGHT?! Haha.. okay I have to go now. LOVE YOU! <3
from thatgirlx :
LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
from thatgirlx :
Okay, no, but seriously... I'm in desperate need of a sausage burrito (okay, okay, two sausage burritos... ooh, and maybe a hashbrown!) So I'ma go now. K? K.
from thatgirlx :
BAM! I win! :)
from thatgirlx :
Pfft. Fine, brain. Be a whore. But I'ma tell Dani it was all YOUR fault that she didn't get all 100 notes. So... yeah. SUCK IT, brain!
from thatgirlx :
DO SOMETHING!
from thatgirlx :
It's not cooperating with me.
from thatgirlx :
It's being mean. Why is it being so mean?!?!!?
from thatgirlx :
WORK BRAIN, WORK!
from thatgirlx :
I was on a roll and now I'm just like WHAT DO I EVEN SAY? So. Um. Hold please.
from thatgirlx :
*awkward pause*
from thatgirlx :
LIKE A WILDDDDFIREEEEE.
from thatgirlx :
This is fun. I'ma do this shit more often.
from thatgirlx :
I swear I'm not drunk. You'd have way more notes by now if I was.
from thatgirlx :
I hope you read these in the right order. I feel like you're gonna read them backwards and just be like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS GIRL AND WHY IS SHE MY BEST FRIEND AGAIN? Hahahahaha
from thatgirlx :
Or am I? *giggles*
from thatgirlx :
Hahaha... I kind of just want to leave you like 100 notes. Just because. But that's sort of a lot of commitment and I'm not sure I'm ready for that.
from thatgirlx :
WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY!!!
from thatgirlx :
So.. you know, in case you forgot (or thought it was a dream or some shit)... WE ARE GOING TO SEE MARIANAS TRENCH, BITCH! Haha.. yes, I'm still fan-girling over here. (And we got off the phone like... um... well.. that's not important. So. Yeah.) You know what is important? MARIANAS FUCKING TRENCH. That's what. See you in November, baby!!! Haha... I love you. I'm squeeze you so fucking hard when I see you. As in like a hug. I mean... I'm not just going to randomly squeeze your boob or anything. Well. Okay. I might. But you know what I mean. And holy fuck balls, why do you have to sleep? This is bullshit.
from jadedxx :
OK, since your phone sucks, here's the entry: Back to where it all began. I didn't want to delete the things I wrote so long ago, that have sat here collecting dust. I wanted to keep them, I thought I needed them. I thought I needed that piece of myself, that piece of you. But you know what? It doesn't hurt anymore. They're no longer memories, just empty words. I don't need them. D, this diary brought us together. Out of my heartache came something so beautiful, our friendship. And I wouldn't ever trade in that pain I went through, because it brought me to you. He wasn't anything, and you... you're everything. <3
from jadedxx :
Hey punk, did you not realize I brought back this diary? Mostly because of you, might I add. So you best read it!!! Haha.. okay, I'm done. LOVE YOUUUUUUU.
from cherrygash :
Hey thanks for the note. I know it's been forever. Not sure how you are, hope u r good. Lost ur pass, sorry. I think I'm going crazy.. it's complicated! See u around.
from enurta :
why don't you try getting a job? it would make you feel better.
from enurta :
<3
from enurta :
they'll love you forever because you're a sweetheart and they know how much you love them. <3
from enurta :
I'm sorry for your loss :( wish I could just teleport to you and give you a big hug and sit and talk to you for hours. I love you <3
from cherrygash :
Ya cutting is definitely a unhealthy coping skill. Just like drinking...or even eating. I don't know, it's been 3 or so years. I started about 12, got a large slash on my upper arm and few others. Everyone's like where you get that? I always say car crash. Most people believe it. I'm not sure how else to handle a convo like that. I mean, damn, that's a fucking clean cut. It seems like the past always haunting you with the scars......it's challenging. Sorry u went through that as well.
from enurta :
I've lost your e-mail sweetie <3
from cherrygash :
Hey just wondering if you're gonna let me in your diary :)
from cherrygash :
Sorry to hear about your struggles as well. I'm on clonodine for my nightmares. I've had to adjust the MG, which sucked, to figure the best strength. It helps some. The shitty part is between this med mixed with other meds knock me the f out and I can't wake up out of a bad dream. Anyway I saw evanescence years ago in concert. But it was in a smaller city and pretty much everyone in nebraska sucks.. so it was good but not a big crowd. I'd love to see them again!
from enurta :
I love you <3 sorry my notes are off. just wanted to say I love you!
from eatmorepizza :
Hey, saw that you started following me and wanted to say hi. Hope you're having a nice day.
from enurta :
love you <3 im sorry you are hurting. too bad losing weight is not easy. I lost 110 lbs in total. meds made me gain a lot. I cannot say I did it without starving and binging/purging. but im starting to gain again....im scared I'll weigh a lot again. im short too. 5'3. I weighed 250 lbs at my worst.
from cherrygash :
I knew what I was gonna say...I freaking love evanescence too. Mostly their younger days. I would play them hours on end. Lithium! hey I haven't made a friend for awhile, so don't be afraid to go on tangents or anything. I'm a pretty open bird. Lol just good to have sum1 to chat. =)
from cherrygash :
Hi danielle, It's nice to meet you, I'm juli. thx 4 the note. I'd love to chat about life's endless crap, lol Linkin Park freaking rocks.
from enurta :
I know you mean well. im sorry sweetie you did not make me mad. but maybe it is best if I leave d-land and shut down my notes. xoxo
from enurta :
Make a rule to NEVER touch your face. No matter what
from enurta :
oh sorry I do not mean clog the pores, I mean the cold water closes them.
from enurta :
hey, here's some advice....wash your face with ICE-COLD water. at least 3 times a day at first. it *might* get worse in the beginning...but after a month, nothing! your face will be beautiful. no products, no soap, ice-cold water...it clogs the pores. you can do it will your whole body too. heat, sweat and warm water makes the face become that way. my sister taught me this, and my face has been clear for a long while! I think for about a year now. you should try <3
from enurta :
writing is good sweetie, keep doing it <3 I always read. I will leave more notes.
from enurta :
eating, drinking water, sleeping and going outside - all those things are important. otherwise you go completely INSANE. this is the truth for most people. God how I wish you lived closer to me. I see everyone hurting and I don't know what to do. it's meant to be this way though and there isn't much to do about it...I'm here though. and I replied to your e-mail. not that it made any sense. I don't know <3
from thatgirlx :
I LOVE YOU!
from enurta :
loved that entry :) made me cry, happy-tears! <3 you are so beautiful
from enurta :
who says you can't do it??? that's bullshit my dear :D you're awesome and the strongest person I know...you can do it! I wish I could hold your hand on the busride and listen to HIM with you until you get there...too bad I'm so far away and can do nothing to help :( I LOVE YOU. and PLEASE do NOT kill yourself if Linda & Jesse do something stupid in the future. it's not worth it. I LOVE YOU.
from enurta :
oh sweetie I'm sorry about Pam :( I love you too...<3
from enurta :
who is this layla? :)
from enurta :
I <3 YOU
from xwintergirlx :
:)
from enurta :
it's not your brain that's the problem - it's your family. you need to get away from them to heal. I LOVE YOU <3
from ogawa :
sweetie i left this website. i still login to read diaries but i do not update. i have a blog. i hope u are alright. email me at [email protected] LOVE YOU! I MISS U SO MUCH!
from ogawa :
sent it now. love you. <3
from ogawa :
danielle, not sure if u got the e-mail i sent. it's enurta, ogawa is my new username.
from ogawa :
miss u so effing much.
from ogawa :
babycakes, how are you? I'm worried sick about you. are you leaving d-land? please e-mail me if you do not want to leave a note. my new e-mail adress is [email protected] love you!!!
from enurta :
love you. don't be afraid of telling your loved ones about your problem. they can help you, I know what it's like to want to keep it to yourself (scared they might stop you from doing it, right?). but you are eventually going to DIE if you don't stop Danielle. and I love you waaaaaaaaaaaay to much to let that happen! come on, fight! baby steps, start with keeping 1 meal down a day for example. after that it only gets easier. love you! <3
from thatgirlx :
You're not insane, you're just sick right now. We both are. We have to stand together and we have to fight. This is going to KILL US if we don't, and I can't lose you and I know you can't lose me. I know we're both in deep right now, but we can't give in. Your ED is NOT your friend. I'm your friend. I love you and want what's best for you, it just wants what it wants. It doesn't love you. Please fight D. I love you.
from enurta :
oh. sweetie. I wish I was there, we could hang out every day and I'd make you forget about all those fake, stupid people!!! you're awesome and I love you <3
from thatgirlx :
BAM!!!!!
from thatgirlx :
Hey there you sexy thang, you. ;)
from enurta :
<3
from thatgirlx :
You are NOT a shitty friend.
from thatgirlx :
And I mean it. Forever.
from thatgirlx :
You can't push me away, my dear. I love you too much. You can bitch at me and call me fat or WHATEVER. I will still love you. No matter what. <3
from enurta :
I've missed you too. please don't even think about killing yourself. suicide is never the answer. suicide is for cowards, and you my dear is a FIGHTER!
from thatgirlx :
P.S. My FB will never be complete without you. *cries*
from thatgirlx :
I love you too pretty lady! :D Even though you're totally ignoring my texts... *cries* Sorry that entry made you sad... I don't even know where that one came from.. it just sorta popped in my head... and WTF? I didn't make you promise? Holy fuck shit, I SUCK! OMG, if you had done anything... I never would have forgiven myself. Thank you so much for staying strong and making it through... <3 Anyway... love the layout and pics.. although one of them.. I see Ville but who's the other dude? It looks nothing like Bam, lol! Speaking of layouts... you didn't say anything about the one I made... *hisses* I'm assuming that means it sucks? Ima grill your ass about that tomorrow! :P Oh, also, you just lost the game!!! So HAH! (I know, I'm evil.. but you still love me..!) Love you honey bunches!! ;)
from thatgirlx :
*cough*facebook*cough*
from thatgirlx :
I LOVE YOU! <3 P.S. Why is my diary not listed under your favorites? *cries*
from enurta :
thanks for the note cupcake. i wrote about it here: http://enurta.diaryland.com/120504_76.html love u! *hugs*
from enurta :
'I just wonder what the point is in living, when I have next to nothing. Is there any point? I don't know...' BULLSHIT!!!!!!!! you have friends who love you, and I'm one of them. we need u in this world. please do not leave. i don't know what i would do if god forbid something happened........<3
from enurta :
:( I wish u had a cellphone. I would call u everyday and tell you how special and perfect you are.......love u sweetie *hugs*
from enurta :
love you cupcake! sorry I haven't written to you lately, but every day = new problem. it fucking sucks. <3
from deathbytears :
hi :) thanks for the email. likeyou guessed, nothing much makes sense. if you get a chance to do a summery entry, please could you? xx
from enurta :
I wish i could kick her ass. fucking bitch. i had no idea she was saying those things about you...where did u read it? link plz. i deleted that bitch from my buddylist ages ago. love you baby!
from enurta :
you are BEAUTIFUL, SPECIAL, KIND, SWEET....you are the best. don't ever say bad things about yourself ever again. but I understand how you feel, I wish I could have a baby too but I'm too sick and I can't stop taking my meds. I need to be 6 months med-free before I can even try so......it's impossible for me but i've accepted it. love you cupcake. *hugs*
from enurta :
happy birthday. you look stunning as usual ;) love you babe. Mwaaaaaaaaaaah!
from enurta :
happy holidays sweetie!! thinking of you!!! *hugs*
from enurta :
yeah you can shoot him in the foot :D hahah! love u soooooooooooo much. sorry I'm invading your dreams :P love you!!! btw, do u have a cellphone? we could text each other. *hugs*
from enurta :
wow. you are so beautiful. stunning. I'm so happy you are not purging!!! keep it up sweetie. love you to death *hugs*
from fatalbreath :
ahhh okay I didn't know it was you! I hope you find a way to be happy too...
from fatalbreath :
So how do you cope?
from enurta :
I'm going to stop smoking pot too! we can do it, because we are two kickass, cool bitches!!! :D
from enurta :
you are so beautiful <3 post more pics! but I want to see more of *you* and less other people... :P
from enurta :
I want to stop smoking pot too...because I get the munchies and that always ends with my fingers down my throat because I've eaten too much. I smome pot because I want to escape from reality. why do you smoke? anyway, just wanted to say that you are beautiful, and that I love you no matter what you weigh. doesn't anyone notice that you purge? don't be so hard on yourself sweetie *hugs*
from enurta :
love you too babycakes.
from comebacktome :
I knooooowww! Where did you disappear to?? I can't access your diaries, not sure if i have the right passwords, I get confused between all the different ones (coz I am crap). if you want to send me an email though, i will respond, promises! Let me know how you are xoxo
from enurta :
hey hun, I lost your user/pass...changed computer so that's why. can u e-mail it to me? Love you. I hope you are okay.
from enurta :
sorry I didn't reply, lost your address somewhere in my inbox and just decided not to write...haven't been doing that well. but I'm not dead. don't worry. love you babe.
from enurta :
sweetie, I totally understand why you can't send me a letter right now. and it's okay, I just want to hear from you - that's the point. you don't have to write me an actual letter, you can e-mail me instead. I want you to know I'm here for you no matter what. *hugs*
from enurta :
thank god you are OK. I really miss you...I hope you'll send me a letter soon. love you
from enurta :
sweetie, what happened? did you try to kill yourself? :( I love you!! *hugs*
from enurta :
oh hun, there's no hurry, send the letter whenever you want. Did you like the ring? did it fit? love you too cupcake! *hugs*
from enurta :
sweetie, I received your letter thursday. replied the next day, and sent you a cool ring a bought at a fleamarket. love you hun. take care
from enurta :
I deleted the note. I'm sorry that you are hurting so much, it frustrates me, I wish I could do something about it. that you're getting help is great. but are the meds helping at all? love you baby. MWAH!
from comebacktome :
Happy Birthday! I am sorry I missed it, I was away all weekend and only just caught up on happenings xo
from enurta :
happy birthday honey! wish I was there. love you <3

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