poetown's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- loneliness prays over the weak screamingly, terrifiedly, like wind in my ears and driving too fast, like drunk on a ferris wheel lights spinning past, and dizzy I'm dizzy and I think I think here I am again it's been so long and has it been long enough? It's just impossible that I could be on this end of the equation - ! - I love hate it here if he does he will because he can now, smash it end it say, no. fucking hell somehow I'm sick to say it -- deep breath put it out there out in the nowhere -- ok I am. in love with him. like crazy. and it makes me want to cry. if he says no, obviously, I will carry on but good god I do not do this sort of thing. 10 years ago I was not this gunshy, I didn't know. things keep slipping out -- things about, "next christmas" and I hear myself being that person who has said these things to me and as I heard them I shot up red flags but kept nodding because maybe but I knew right then, and now, here I am. The weak one. Is everyone in these shoes so aware of them? 1:47 a.m. - 2005-12-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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