tuluum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There's an echo in my head and it's driving me insane so i'm sitting here and thinking you know what? i'm damn sad. and i have a heavy heart and a sense of dread. hoping that it is just the worry wart in me that has fear for what may happen wherever in the world tomorrow, hoping that nothing happens, where ever in the world, tomorrow. Which of course doesn't mean that something won't happen, where ever in the world, the day after. Hoping that I don't slip again like I did last year when I had night after night nightmares of being in the planes for a month. Crying. Confused. See why I am on anti-anxiety medication? Wondering about how my friend is doing. The one who saw the towers fall first hand, who was one of those covered in ashes, who was forever changed on a level that I think only those, covered in the ashes, will ever know. Who was too catatonic and lost to me in a place that I could not reach, and who has not been the same since. And I wonder what is the best way to handle tomorrow. Do I send a card? maybe he just wants to forget? Maybe he wants joy. Maybe I will just send him a hug. yeah.. I wonder so many things. I get saddened . And I get angry. And I care. And yes I am an idealist and yes I want change. A better world. And well you know what, it's just messed up. I wish I did not have to curl up alone tonight, you know? Let's see what the morrow brings. **************************************************************************** Clix if you Hate me, Clix if you don't Current Clix Ranking: 15 | Previous Clix Ranking: 17 10:36 p.m. - Tuesday, Sept. 10, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||