vaneigem's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- RAINSBOURG ANTARCTICA What's up assholes! Last night was the best night since forevs and evs amen hallelujiah, jalleluyah jumbalaya death blood guts gore judas priest.
I forget what I did in the day, I dicked around and played with Simba for an hour. I got a ball of string and played with him. He probably lost 20,000 calories for his little fat body to move so much, he usually is sleeping like a cutey, or eating like a pig. A piggy catface he is. Whenever you give him food he will pause and look at it, like, "So, this is all I get, isn't it." You can see it in his face. His facial catial expressions are so like SOOOO sooooo. I don' tknow the word I am thinking of so I am just going to write SOOOOOO. "Yknow" is pretty, like, yknow, gone. Last night I had a really weird dream that Bernice and I were in gym class in high school, and Kathleen Hanna was the gym teacher and she was all cool but no one else in the class knew who she was and was like awww this teacher is like ahhhhghh and I'm just like um don't you know this is Kathleen Hanna and it was weird that I dreamt this, becuase I kind of forgot she existed over the past few years. I mean, actively. Like, consciously. Chronology really seems to be failing me right now. I went to the mall to check my bank accounts. I have like $1.87 in one of my accounts, it's pathetix trix tix. Really tixed me off. Not really. I decided to go into HMV, I mean, obviously it was pretty whatever. I kinda circled teh store without looking at anything because it was like, "well obviously!!!" and then left. I think I was shopping to do something and not really shopping, that little $1.87 floating in my mind is all, and I didn't want to tempt myself for anything untemptationable-y. I mean, unattainable. Like, unaffordable. I mean whatever then I heard a boy call my name and it was Scott, who was a really minor character in my life. I was figure skating (i know) friends with his sister, and I used to go to their house all the time, and he told me over facebook that he had a crush on me when I was little, which surprised me because I was significantly overweight from grades 4-8, my worst years, and I had a mushroom cut, and one missing tooth, and I'm sure a million other thigns that I was completely oblivious about. We held a sufficiently awkward conversation in whcih I talked frantically about anything off the top of my head to alleviate said awkwardness. He lives in Toronto now. I like him, he is nice. I was like, well see you later! And bought Keiths at the LCBO. My mum had packed a box of food and I got salad supplies. I headed to Kelly-Nicks, my old friends who now are married and have a baby and are my age adn its weird, our fork-in-the-road different lifestyles/lifestages, but not as weird as it should be at all. Our humour unites us. I mean, prevails. Like, leads us. I got there and people came and it was hectic and crazy and we made dinner. Axl phoned and I left with Finchy to pick him up at 6. Finch is hilarious and he told me the stories behind each of his 3 speeding tickets. Cops are dicks, basically. Corrupt or whatever, as we all know. I went to Axl's and his parents are so fucking cool. You enter their home and it's like complete bliss. They were playing bob dylan and were making delicious Dutch food, their dad is amazing and his mom is a babe, but not a gross cougar "babe," like a beautiful mom babe that any graceful woman would want to look like naturally at that age. I love his parents and I buttered their buns for awhile, if you will, they love me, and Axl pattered around getting the potatoes he made. His mummy packed him a wittle package of cwute wittle cookies and gawlic buds in cute wittle baggies. Then we left, and Brian was there, who is a sweetheart-man, a great rare man in touch with the sweetheartedness within him. The partyw as fun we had dinner, I ate with the boys. We had dessert it was delish so on and so forthy. Larua showed up and I met Katie and we hit it off instantly. She is like my dream girl, she is fucking cool, is fucking NICE and non-judgmental to people who aren't really into the exact same cultural things but knows are GOOD awesome hilarious fun people. She was obsessed with my boots and I hers so by the end of the night we were wearing each others coats and in each others boots. We both have witchboots-- mine are tall brown and messy and clunky. They are like rural village witch. Hers are like Salem witch boots, like shortpointy black super pointy cauldron poison boots. I guess mine are pagany and hers are satany. So I became Satan and she became Loki. We all lauhged and all of us played a funny game while drinking I dont know how much and I dont know what of raunchy words, the raunchiest words and insults, we could think of. Jizzy halitosis cunt, for example. Venereal crunchy cock scab. Like, you know. It was, I guess, a party of complete wasted, inebriated idiocy. Haste!!!!! We decided to fuck off and go to a bar, which I hardly remember. katie and I played pool and acted like goblins and freaked out all the loser visiting-home college kids for their boring mommies and daddies. We prettym uch fell in love and she is moving to Mtl in like 2 days, she is an actress I guess, so we are going to hang out whenever I go there. We speaketh of melding our friends together when she comes. Everyone would love her. It was fun to hang with someone who is fucking COOL andn likes weird war and shit and is also so awesome and positive and not a dick about something that is out of their comfort zone and instead makes it fun and comfortable and opens their heart and humour and isn't a judgmental judy visiting negative nancy at debbie downer's house. They left, and Axl asked me where the man I love is and why he never visits at our parties, and I explained that he had 3 jobs and all, and Axl said he wants to meet this person who is my love he says and is like wtf. He is going all over the world until April so we agreed it would happen then. I told him if he dies what he would want me to do for his funeral, and he said, get Nick wasted, no crying and to celebrate his life and to play.... I FORGET! I will email him and ask him.He began lifting me up and then stopped and I said eh would break his back adn he said, "No I don't wan tto violate you" because I guess he had to grab my upper thigh to lift me over his head, and it was funny and cute that he was so hyper sensitive about giving me the utmost physical respect. I hugged bye to him, i am really scaerd that I won't see him again, I'm not sure why, but I don't know. And also to Katie and Laura, we loved each other and switched our coats/boots back, and loved each other lovey othered to eachies. We went back to NickKells, Bernice was sleeping on a futon. We went out to smoke pot, which was hilarious but just Nick Kel not me because I had enough fucking myself up for the night, and Matt phoned! Matt matt, I talked to Matt for a long time and then I heard his grilfriend ruhruhing at him like ruhruh I couldnt hear a fuck what she was saying. She is jealous of Matt and my's relationship because we have this thing where we laugh for hours over something but no one else gets it except for us, and we feed off one another's laugh and the joke becomes the actual laughing situation. No one gets it except for us adn his girlfriend is jealous that we have that, is what Kelly tells me. It really is ridic to me that girls get jealous over guys Ive been friends with since like fucking 13 and I have a boyfriend of what, 5 years, just because we laugh or hang out or support each other. At the same tmie I get it becuase I mean if Geoff had that kind of relationship with someone who I didn't know too well, I guess I probably would be jealous maybe. I definitely have a level of empathy. But I think of his friends, like Bily, I wouldn't have a problem at all with that at all. They are friends and I wouldnt want to impose on that. Unless of course it interfered with our relationship and I don't think and definitely would never want to do that for Matt and her. So I guess I am just hoping that his girlfriend gets cooler with us becuase it's kind of annoying and pointless misguided aggression. Maybe I wonder, if I shouldn't be freinds with him out of respect for her. But another part says that's ridiculous that I should have to resort to that for no reason. I find that I am frequently torn in life over these matters, not this specific matter (HAHA!) but in terms of. Oh. Like, when i should allow myself to submit to humility and be cool and understanding, or when I am so very much doing so to the point that it's totally not right and I should stand up for myself out of my own dignity and it should be in fact others understanding ME for once. All relationships, even enemy relations, needed mutual nurturing. I have no enemies though. I think what I like a lot about my relationship with Geoff is that neither of us are tolerant of each other's bullshit. Neither of us have time or energy or desire for it. Anyway, I hung out with KellyNick and their bebe in the morning and it was nice. I helped them clean up and we talked. It was nice becuase I didn't have an opportunity since so many people came to the party the night before. Their bebe is really adorable. I am in complete utta luh wif him and all those luvvy fings, or somefing. Then I left because it was noon. I drove home and talked to Geoff while I was driving ecause we hadn't had a real conversation in like 3 days or something. He has been working his bunz off. I came home and had a shower and ate a trukey sandwich and my dad bought me a laundry bag. I had written a " things I want" list when I was bored and accidentally left it on this desk, and he saw it and was cute and bought me one of the fings, which is a new laundry bag. I've called Meghan, who I am traveling to see tonight. She is the most wholesome coolest stylish old timely mom ever. She is truly rustic christmas. I love rustic christmas, bunches of herbs and balsam. It might be really awkward because the Mystery Father of her child will be there I think and she is HORRIBLE with introducing people so I will have to be on my best uppityness to cover for the awkwardness. Marcelle and Kerry are coming. It will be in Kingston, so. I think I am going back to TOronto tomorrow so I'd like to leave by 10ish or 11ish. I might decide to stay until Sunday, but I'm not sure if I will be able to handle that in any whichwaywardforthwards. Goodbye and junkeroos. 2:38 pm - 12.27.07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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