windupbird's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- December.... is spent watching movie after movie, digesting the ways that filmmakers likes to comment on life in its most general and random states. You create yourself a situation and with the deliberate tools to solve it or just enough to illustrate how futile it is to tempt fate. Everything is planned. which is good in of itself because we need practice on living our lives. Been reading other notable journals lately... notable being journals and proofs of existences by people who have been rather essential to my development. Some of them are happy, content, found their true love... meanwhile here I sit starting enjoy loniness again. I'm not lonely. I'm finally graduating in 2 weeks. The event has gotten so anti-climatic its not even funny. I can't even begin to state my next step. I want to WANT something, enough for me to go after it. That's what everything boils down to. I'm feeling very nihlistic. 12:58 a.m. - December 05, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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