messages to fatalbreath:
(click here to add new message):
| from raven72d : |
| Let me know if you try a Japanese single-malt. They're not inexpensive, but they are excellent. |
| from lollirottt : |
| Don't hate yourself. 😞 ik that's way easier said than done. If you ever want to add me somewhere so we can talk more and easier you can. Or if you ever want my number just lmk. I was serious about being support. |
| from raven72d : |
| They're my sort of mornings, too. |
| from raven72d : |
| Good entries-- a discovery on a dark, gloomy rainswept morning. |
| from lollirottt : |
| Thank you! I'm just trying to tell myself over and over "I just have to keep fighting and if I keep at it I'll be able to do it. I'll be able to get in a better place. Just get through this first part of recovery." Good luck with your goals! And yes you should update more and so should I. We can be each other's extra support. 😁 |
| from lollirottt : |
| Thank you! I might try to start doing regular entries again. Might help me mentally. Hope you're doing ok. |
| from lollirottt : |
| Hi! This is xxplaydeadxx too. Send me an email and i can give you the user/pw [email protected] |
| from enurta : |
| maybe your diary always have been locked...I used to be able to read it though :/ |
| from enurta : |
| why did u lock up? may I have the user/pass? I hope you are okay. I'm worried. *hugs* |
| from lollirottt : |
| I deal with shit with eating disorders and other kinds of self-harming. I don't know HOW to be healthy, or happy. Did I mention this is xxplaydeadxx? I'm mainly using this diary now. Anyway, I hope you can find some way to be happy one day. |
| from lollirottt : |
| "I'm not depressed but I'm not happy." Yeah, same here. =/ |
| from enurta : |
| you seem to be eating in a healthy way. keep it up, hun! I'm rooting for ya :) |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Alcohol dehydrates, you're probably just at what you're actual weight is when you're hydrated. That's why I love weighing myself after a night out - even though I know it's because every tissue is dried out so it seems "lighter" it makes me feel good that the number is lower. |
| from enurta : |
| hi hun, if you're that paranoid why not go to a doctor? just to be safe. I don't think anything is wrong with you, but you won't lose anything by getting yourself checked out by a professional *hugs* |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Okay. 1. Stop diagnosing yourself, let doctors do their job!! 2. Elevation is the key to bad circulation. Trust me, I've had horrible circulation for like ever I can't even kneel for more than a couple minutes and I have spider/vericose veins. You do not have liver problems, give it a few decades haha. Now put on some cute shoes and go to work :P |
| from xxplaydeadxx : |
| Yeah I'm kind of [obviously] going through hell right now. :'( But I'm just a 'drama queen'. Anyway. Thanks for the note. I'm trying. You need to be ok too. Ok? I know what I say will probably have like no impact whatsoever, but you so do not need to lose weight. I would literally kill someone to weigh what you weigh. <3 |
| from enurta : |
| You are not fat! you are beautiful. I don't know what else to say. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. *hugs* |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Don't worry about me, 9 mother fucking lives. And I'm only down...2? 3? Who's counting anyways. Last night meant the world to me, hearing you speak...I remember that part of my hazy night. I don't deserve a friend like you but guess what - I'll take full advantage of it now that I got it! You know you're on the top of my list lady. xo. |
| from enurta : |
| even if you do not purge, it's still destructive. i assume u starve yourself after a binge? because you don't weigh much, I doubt you are 'overweight'. you still need to learn to deal with your problems without resorting to food or alcohol. stay strong hun <3 |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Yes! I am a boredom binger! One problem - I'm reclusive, so being alone happens too often. But we are never really alone, I am here and you are there, and we are around. xoxo |
| from enurta : |
| I'm the same as you, as soon as I'm alone I binge and purge or do something stupid. what helps is to take xanax (honestly, it works), watching a movie, trying to relax, maybe take a nap (if you're alone during the day) if you're alone at night time, you can go to bed early. do u take any sleeping pills? it's great to have in handy for these certain situations. take care hun *hugs* |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Where is my mind...where is my mind? |
| from fat0free0air : |
| 1 more day for YOU. Today...didn't work out :( I'm so sorry I let you and myself down. Keep going, I'm going to keep going, today was black tomorrow is a new day. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Another victory! This is working :) |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Almost just 2 days! I made it through today :) xoxo |
| from xxplaydeadxx : |
| My user/pw is cause/effect. Now I'm warning you, I tend to do very long, and sometimes pointless or overly pissy or depressing entries. =/ I'm a bit lame. ;) Do you mind telling me how long you've dealt with your eating disorders? |
| from enurta : |
| I know exactly how you feel....I am in the same boat as you. I hate to be without my husband, I panic, and I feel guilty for not eating when there is so much leftovers, that I feel like I should binge so I can just get rid of it...but at the same time, I don't want to eat at all. it's really hard. I can't understand how you can work when you are going through all of this...you are strong. you should be proud that you can hold it together like that. I can't work - I can't study, I can't do anything because of my different illnesses. It's depressing. I wish I had the strength to do something. will pray for you tonight though. take care & God bless. *hugs* |
| from xxplaydeadxx : |
| I feel exactly the same way that you feel right now. Wanting to binge. Sucks ass doesn't it. :( Hope it passes for you. I'm Danielle by the way. |
| from enurta : |
| user/pass, please? my e-mail is [email protected] I would be grateful if you'd send me the password. have a nice day. xxx |
| from freaknuraw : |
| Oh sweetie! Congratulations to getting married! Just read your diary. Everything ok? You can email me if you need someone to talk to! [email protected] Hope to hear from you! <3 |
| from wtng4lezlie : |
| What are you guilty about? |
| from avox : |
| I tried this whole calorie counting thing a few years ago, and honestly-- it sucks ass... Now I just think thin, and I can eat whatever I want! It's all about perception, really. The more beautiful we think we are, the more we manifest it into reality and become beautiful to those around us. Naturally care for yourself, my dear. Starving and binging will only lead you into a habit that will keep returning you to the same place of misery. I bet you've heard that all the time! But it is true. Loving yourself is an important step to becoming the person you want to be. Inside and out. |
| from freaknuraw : |
| How have you been sweetie? Have you gotten married yet, or are you still planning? I hear you about the weight. Believe it or not, I joined a gym and have been really trying to stay on track. I can't help slipping still, but I am able to keep down at least one full meal a day. Which is progress for me, because before my body started rejecting any and everything including liquids. How was your Holiday's? Hope to hear from you soon! <3 |
| from fat0free0air : |
| So what's new with you then lady? All ready for the holidays? |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I'm still here :) I miss our talks :( |
| from freaknuraw : |
| Your getting married! That's so exciting, congratulations hun! *huggs* I have gained alot as well. And now of course... I'm taking care of it the completely wrong way. I can't help it, it's just second nature I guess. Well I am so happy for you, this is such a huge thing! What kind of a wedding are you going to have? What's your fiance like? <3 |
| from freaknuraw : |
| Aww sweetie I miss you too! How have you been? I am sorry I haven't been on here in awhile, I have been really busy. Hugs back!!! <3 |
| from shady-girl : |
| hey, i havent come on here in a really long time actually. i kinda forgot all about it until i got a email that you left a note for me. i think i'll start comming here again now though. |
| from shanmeid : |
| Sent you the password... <3 |
| from shanmeid : |
| good to hear you're a live and kicking ;) what forums are you posting on? |
| from shanmeid : |
| where have you been hun? hope you're well! <3 |
| from gyka : |
| x hugs x - u'll do great my girl |
| from shanmeid : |
| hey... just relax and take it easy. I hope for your sake that all goes well and it's just a scare! Big hugs <3 |
| from gyka : |
| ur a great friend. take care of yourself. xox |
| from gyka : |
| hey girl!! just sayin aloha.... hope you are doing well!! |
| from gyka : |
| hey girl, sorry i have not been around so often.... things have been kinda fucked here!! anywayz, i hope things are okay and i am sorry i can't talk to you as often as i may like!! take care of yourself and i will hopefully see ya on msn or something. as for the diary.... flying high. |
| from shanmeid : |
| wish I could hug you and try to make it better <3 |
| from shanmeid : |
| *hugs* sorry I've been away for a while... you've been doing so well! I hope it gets better! <3 |
| from gyka : |
| are you okay? remember, i am always here to talk to.... |
| from gyka : |
| HEY GIRL.... WELL, I WANTED TO SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE... I HOPE IT IS GOIN WELL. HOPEFULLY I WILL SEE YA ONLINE, IF NOT, HAVE A GREAT ONE. PEACE XOX |
| from shanmeid : |
| I <3 u babes... |
| from shanmeid : |
| I'm sorry you feel that way... I wish I could be there to help you find something that would fill the void. It's so hard to find anything meaningful in life anymore, but you know all you can do is try and try and never give up! I'm still trying and it's horrible when everyone else around has a mission and it seems, a purpose in life, but all you have is your miserable mind and the idea that you'll never be like everyone else... I'm starting to find comfort in the fact that I'm not like everyone else and starting to say, 'fuck them'... sometimes it just makes it a little easier to be me! <3 take care and don't go anywhere! |
| from shanmeid : |
| hey... the MSN didn't work. I think I've been bad from logging onto the net from my computer at work. So I've just hijacked someone elses computer! ; ) I'm sorry I couldn't get the MSN thing to work... take care of yourself please! Don't want you to go anywhere <3 |
| from shanmeid : |
| hey you... downloaded MSN but it's not working, I will try again today! ; ) Suicide by water... A headline comes to mind, "Young girl bursts after drinking too much water!" =o) |
| from gyka : |
| of course i want you to read my diary... i just forgot to give you the password. i have been upset and disorientated lately.... see ya on msn!! |
| from shanmeid : |
| I'd like to join you on MSN but I'm not registered and I can't. I have net access at work on an Apple Mac and MSN just doesn't seem to work on my computer!!! <3 |
| from shanmeid : |
| me too... and it's all the things I shouldn't be afraid of. Like what if I can't be real enough to exist, maybe I'm not real enough so why do I exist? You know, all those things that don't have answers but you still worry about them... I don't make sense at the moment!!! ::: about OD'ing on prozac, never thought of it, can you die from feeling like nothing matters! OK, perhaps you'd really kill your sex drive! ::: I don't know... I avoid meds that affect my feelings (what feelings)... I'd rather deal with it in real time than on cloud 9 ; ) |
| from shanmeid : |
| do I? perhaps it's just that sometimes we all feel the same... I hate feelling this way! I always try so hard to be positive and not let the things inside me come out but it's just so hard right now! I feel like I have nothing... |
| from gyka : |
| hey aly..... you little bitch.... i saw your pics, you are so damn pretty and so skinny.... i envy you!! |
| from shanmeid : |
| You're quite tall... I wish I was tall... you must be beautiful! <3 |
| from shanmeid : |
| how tall are you? |
| from shanmeid : |
| you're not alone ... <3 |
| from shanmeid : |
| dancing... ; ) I can just imagine how sweet you must look! Have fun! <3 |
| from shanmeid : |
| really glad to hear you sounding so much better/happier... <3 |
| from shanmeid : |
| Guess what? I am dumb.... ; ) I got ur email addy, send you my info now! <3 |
| from shanmeid : |
| ...sorry if I seem a bit dumb... it's the first time I've read your diary! I went back and read a couple of months, I understand how you're feeling and you really need to speak to someone beside a counsellor at school. That's just a little too creepy and if they feel the need they'll contact your parents. What about a 'support centre' or something. Or even just me! You can mail me @ anytime. Even if it's just to vent... [email protected] Once I have your email address I'll send you my password! |
| from gyka : |
| hi girl.... luv you!! take care of yourself! |
| from shanmeid : |
| ... don't do it ... imagine living with the fact that you didn't get it right or perhaps doing it and looking down and seeing how much everyone that loves you will die with you ... <3 |
| from gyka : |
| hey aly, i am sorry i have not had time to talk - thank you for the updates. i am glad that school is off to a good start for you, and i am so glad that you and your boyfriend are able to spend time together now - take care of yourself and hopefully talk to you soon. xox |
| from gyka : |
| aly.... i am so sorry for just leaving you hanging.... i didn't realize how long i would be absent from a computer. i hope you are doing well and i miss you like crazy. please take care of yourself and hopefully i will talk to you soon. |
| from missy-17 : |
| ok |
| from missy-17 : |
| hey i am mia and i just wanted to say hi!! |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I'm WAY too aware when I eat. It freaks me out. I totally focus on it and it makes me feel really gross and bad about myself. Tomorrow's a new day though, hopefully it will be better.<3<3<3 |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I'm feeling lost. I'm currently in "clean up mode" where I'm trying to eat things that I might miss when I start fasting again in a day or two. It's not binging though, just normal eating of things I desire (that make me feel like crap after :P). Other than that I'm okay, mom's pissing me off...the usual. I miss you darling! |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Your plan seems to be working out good for you. Your veggie subs are kinda like a treat because they are so darn good but also good for you :). I love you bitch! |
| from gyka : |
| aly, you are doing so great.... i am glad that you accomplishing what you want to - you have great determination - and that can only get your further.... i hope you have a great day and talk to you later!! |
| from kjoybic : |
| have fun tonight! |
| from kjoybic : |
| I started a stopwatch this morning like you do. So hopefully it will help me. I haven't eaten since lastnight, but oh well. I feel really thing today, but I'm actually up 2 lbs which is amazing after that whole pizza tragety! so I guess I'm doing ok. some girls at school today actually thought I've lost, but I think it was my baggy pants. Thanks for the watch idea hun. have a good one. |
| from freaknuraw : |
| Hey there beautiful, I just wanted to drop a note saying hi! I hope everything with your mom is going better, and I hope that everything with you is going well. Take care of yourself, be strong, and know that you have support. xoxoxo *HUGGS* Jori |
| from kjoybic : |
| Actually eating once in a while is good to keep your metabolism up, so I wouldnt worry aboput the bagel. I always get hungry at night, and thats when I tend to binge. Take care sweetie. Good luck with your boy(s) :) be careful hunny. -K |
| from gyka : |
| hey... well i hope you are doing well and that you are achieving your goals. i am doing good... see how it goes today!! take care and hope to hear from ya soon. |
| from kjoybic : |
| Hey sweetie, How are things going with that guy of yours? I am a chubby cow. uggh. Green tea rocks! Hope you are well hun. just wanted to drop you a hello. - K |
| from gyka : |
| good luck today!! i can only wish you the best!! stay strong and remember, i am here for ya!! we are gonna do this TOGETHER!! |
| from gyka : |
| hey girl.... what to say, what to say?!! i hope you know i am your biggest supporter in whatever you do.... tho i wish i could say i was there more for you to get better. i prob won't be your best support but you already know that i'm killing myself slowly... i dunno if i would have tips or anything, but i am always here to listen to you!! and you gots my msn already girl!! |
| from melpomene03 : |
| *hugs* When one feels the way you are feeling right now, giving up seems convenient. But you have to hold on to the relief that lies ahead. Things will get better, i promise. :) You are being such a good girl, your mother certainly feels proud of you. All I wish for you is the peace you'll need to ward off the fears you must combat. Take care sweetheart. |
| from melpomene03 : |
| Hey lovely, I just read your last entry. It's awesome that you have a boyfriend because you deserve to be happy, you deserve to have someone that you can share your joy with..as well as your sorrow. I am not sure, but for what i read it seems like he doesn't know about your eating disorder. Maybe it would be a good idea if you could tell him.. trust in the love he has for you and trust that he will understand. Sooner or later he'll find out, don't you think? Anyway, i don't mean to worry you or anything because that is the last thing you need right now. I still hope that your mom gets better, hope is always the last thing that dies. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Well even when you feel like you don't, know that someone out there thinks you do. I love you! |
| from fat0free0air : |
| You deserve it :) |
| from gyka : |
| aly, my girl, you are so strong and have such great courage, your mom is lucky to have you!! i really do wish your family the best, and you will all be in my thoughts!! take care of yourself, and just remember to keep letting her know how much you love her!! hopefully i will get a chance to talk to you later.... til then, luv ya!! |
| from melpomene03 : |
| I've been reading your diary and somehow I can relate.. I hope that your mother's health condition improves, I'd like to think that eventually it will. I also hope that you feel better. I know you are having it tough but one day it will all be over and you'll find relief. I don't know you and you don't know me, but I am here. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Love you 'Lica! |
| from gyka : |
| don't do it aly!! you are better than that.... that is what you always tell me remember!! when i don't want to eat i think of what you say....!! you are my inspiration, you are my support!! together we can help eachother, but we have to do it together!! you are beautiful, don't ever forget that - please see yourself this way!! |
| from kjoybic : |
| hey sweetie, usually it doesnt matter if youre a little late for a lecture, but it depends on how big the university is....if the classes are small and they notice it might be an issue, but there is always a drop add period so if it is you'll have time to drop the class and/or add a different one, dont stress things will work out. all freshman are freaked out, and half way thru most of them stop going to class except test days anyway (wouldnt recomend)ha! chill sweetie. you'll do great.-K |
| from gyka : |
| hellooooo sexy lady..... lol!! i am just buggin, i am just in a good mood (thought i would be silly!!). anywayz, i am glad you are doing good and i hope you are smiling lots!! it makes me happy to know you are happy!! as for me, i had a very bad last week and i can see it in my entries.... i was about ready to give up!! but i got sent outta that 'devil town' (lol) and since then i have just been carefree and good!! thank you so much for caring... you are so very great!! |
| from gyka : |
| it's good to read an entry and i want to tell you to be strong!! i know i'm not, but i know you are..... take advantage!! you really deserve to be happy - we all do. maybe we will get a chance to chat sometime soon!! til then, thank you! |
| from gyka : |
| hey girl, awwww, when will you return!?! i am glad we are still able to talk, but i miss the updates!! things are alright - i am not as strong as i want to me.... |
| from lynz-q94 : |
| i'm glad you're happier! u rock 2! :) |
| from gyka : |
| hey girl! how is it going? i am doing alright, i just feel so uninspired.... no motivation, but i am so motivated.... i guess just lost!! i just wanted to make sure you were doing good and to say ALOHA!! miss ya and hopefulyl talk to you soon!! PEACE |
| from kjoybic : |
| Hey sweetie! Have a good day at work. I'm exhausted from being fat and school...and drinking too much all the time. Sounds like you're doing OK. Sounds like C is fun?! hee hee Glad you unlocked. Have fun and be safe. -K |
| from lynz-q94 : |
| 'tis me again. wanna try out my tounge ring...puhleeze! :) hope you got some sleep! |
| from lynz-q94 : |
| well, be careful. don't go too crazy. |
| from lynz-q94 : |
| It does matter. What's wrong? |
| from lynz-q94 : |
| hiya, haven't noted you in a while so i thought i'd check in. hope you're ok. ~Lindsey~ |
| from deadpassive : |
| hey, your diary is locked. I used to read it before, can you send me the password if it's okay? [email protected] take care darling! xxx |
| from gyka : |
| your diary is locked!! where are you? |
| from kjoybic : |
| sorry i suck at the fast. why'd you lock? you ok? leave me a note and let me know whats up. i've been exercising more and finally have my eating under control...about 500 cals last 4 days, last night was bad, but not horrible . hope you're well. let me know. |
| from kjoybic : |
| hey sweetie, I'm going to try and do your fast with you, the 500 cals part. WWith school the way it is I'm not sure i can get the exercise in everyday, but I'll try harder to work out since I've become such a lard. Hope you are well. I'll keep my food in my diary or email them to you. keep in touch babe.-K |
| from freaknuraw : |
| Sweetheart I am so worried about you. You are such a sweet and beautiful young person, and it's killing me to see you letting her do this to you. I know it's hard, I fight it to, and I just want you to know I am here for you. You can ALWAYS email me if you need someone to talk to, and you know that. Please take care, talk to you later. Love always, Jori <3 huggs |
| from gyka : |
| hey girl... gotta apologize for not being around to talk lately.... not on the computer much these days. hopefully i can catch ya soon and we can chat... i miss our chats. well, have a great day girl and til next time... PEACE |
| from kjoybic : |
| Hey sweetie, I left you an email. I hope everything is OK. Scares suck! If you cant catch me on msn email me and let me know how you're doing. Have a good day. -K |
| from kjoybic : |
| I wasn't ignoring you lastnight on msn, I wasn't home...I have cable internet so it looks like i'm on when i'm not sometimes. It was nice to hear from you. I totally binged yesterday...uggggh. I'm exhausted. and fat. You sound so motivated lately. Good for you. Take care sweetie. - K |
| from lynz-q94 : |
| hi again. this is like my 4000000 note to you. oh well. anyway, if you weren't interesting, i wouldn't read, you know. and to be honest what made me start reading was your name,fatalbreath. i thought it was cool. anyway, have a good week! |
| from lynz-q94 : |
| i read your diary every once in a while. i'm not sure why i think you're interesting, i think some of it has to do with your ED because i deal with that too. on your profile it says read on, but it doesn't seem like you want me to read it. just tell me if you don't want me to, ok? i won't bug you anymore if you don't want me to read it. |
| from lynz-q94 : |
| i found it on the recently updated diaries. |
| from lynz-q94 : |
| hi! i ran across your diary and i'm sorry you're having to deal with this weight thing. i know you're having a rough time, so if you need someone to talk to my e-mail is [email protected] or just leave a note at my diary. take care of yourself! |
| from gyka : |
| missing your entries..... don't forget about us here. i'll try to catch ya online sometime... take care grrl. best to you. |
| from scaredofdark : |
| thanks for joining my d-ring i hope your doing well...:D ~ELLE~ |
| from gyka : |
| i miss talking to you! i hope you are doing well. i hope you are happy. i saw something the other day which made me think of you.... perhaps one day i will get off my lazy ass and take a pic and show it to you... lol... i know i am lame! anywayz, take care!! miss talking to you - mwah!! |
| from gyka : |
| hey gurl!! i just wanna say hi and your rock!! |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Hope you get this...I need the username/password for your diary again! <3 |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Haven't talked to you in a while, I haven't had enough time to go online these days. I tried eating regularly for one day, to teach myself to not purge even if I'm full. I gained soo much weight from that, even though I only ate cereal, a sandwich, soup, and a fruit. I gained 6 fricking pounds from it. I had gotten down to 122lbs and was up at 128lbs (yeesh, haven't been that high in a while). Felt so fat...back down to 125lbs though. Email me or something, I'd like to talk to you again! |
| from gyka : |
| sweet ass! u have a boyfriend!! well, i just got my PC hooked up, so i should be online more often! i want to hear more!! take care chicky! |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I wish I could be THERE. I wish we could spend time together and get everything fixed for us. I wish everything was okay for you, and selfishly for me too. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| It's not fair that he lies to you to protect you. The truth might hurt sometimes but lies hurt more, especially when it comes from someone you care about. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Haven't checked notes in a while. I bet she just needs him for prom because she's scared of going alone. I think people are totally aware of my problems but they think that anorexics are stick thin, automatically. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Yeah, counsellors are rediculous. Too bad I haven't been called down by any this year :(. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| If prom doesn't mean anything to him, than go with someone that it matters to. You want prom to be special, it only happens once. |
| from godsfetus : |
| I play Dance Dance Revolution (I'm weird) and RPG's. |
| from godsfetus : |
| Of course. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Does he have plans to take her to prom? I think he should take you, I think it'd mean more to both of you because you've been together for, like, ever. |
| from godsfetus : |
| Thanks. |
| from godsfetus : |
| Hey. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Sometimes crying is all there is to do. It gives you time to think,but you may just end up confused. I think, inside, you know what you want. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I'd seriously be there for you, and help you as much as I can. Sometimes words aren't enough. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I totally wish we lived closer, imagine how great that would be! Everything would be a lot simpler and not as stressful. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I think that's part of "it", the off and on. I know when I acutally started losing I would gain it back soon enough. I was so excited about losing that I wanted to lose it over and over again but I was too scared to go lower... |
| from fat0free0air : |
| You've been though more than me. You might see me as stronger, but I'm not, I'm so weak. You're driven on something. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I'm not as strong as I should be :( |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I ate half my apple today before chucking it. Apples are good for school because since everyone brings them with the rest of your lunch they just expect you ate everything else too, well except the people you are with when you get your apple... |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Liquids, I wish I could do that. I always feel too bloated and I'd rather just have nothing in me. I've been eating pretty good today - had french onion soup (about 40cals for the bowl) and mini corn on the cobs (I think it said 27cals for the tin.) I also had some fat free cottage cheese which I regret. School started today...tomorrow is the first lunch I'll be spending there. I'm going to have an apple! |
| from gyka : |
| hey gurl. sorry for never being around. no computer access. now that i am back to school and what not i will beable to keep better in touch. things are alright though!! i miss having talks with ya. hope life is good. take care. peace |
| from fat0free0air : |
| School starts tomorrow. Let's hope we get some results. 124.5lbs this morning. I ate a turkey burger patty today :(. That's about it though. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I'm so fat :(. I haven't been this heavy for..wow a long time. 125...I've gained 10lbs in a month and a half. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I am looking forward to the routine of school. It's so safe. I don't have to eat all day until my little dinner, and I don't have to worry about people having the option to force me to eat. That's all though. I'm glad you had a good time at the beach, I heard that in Cranbrook they are having bad weather and it's actually warmer here! You know what's weird that I was thinking about? To get here we took a plane to Vancouver and from there a plane to Toronto and from there a plane to the UK. We're going back the same way but to Toronto, Vancouver, home. That means that I was close to you! Haha, anyways I gotta go...<3 |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Hey! Yeah I'm bummed about school. I think I'll be 120lbs or so going back which pisses me off. It will get better for both of us, it has to. I've been in London so sorry if you wrote that note a long time ago...<3 |
| from dimstar : |
| Hi Sweetie, thank you for the lovely note. I am trying, yes, but it is hard. (You don't update too often, by the way!) It is understandable that you are confused. Don't beat yourself up for eating either. Your body will take what it needs, and when it is starving it will take control over the mind. It is body vs. mind, and the body always wins when you need food that bad. Or you get very ill. Please sweetie, take care of yourself. I don't want to sound like I am lecturing, but this leads to so many complications, none of which you or anyone deserves. It isn't a life, it is a death. And you seem like such a wonderful, intelligent, and caring person. I would only want the best for you. Take care and leave me a note or something if you want to. xoxo Gwen |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Hugs for Alicia! I miss you and you sound like you're not having great times right now. I just want you to know you're absolutly lovely to me, thank you for being here. |
| from gyka : |
| hey gurl! i miss you! miss our talks. sorry for not being around. but i hope you are doing good. can't wait to see ya online! talk care gurl. peace!! hugs! |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Boys are trouble, they are wonderful but it always ends up hurting so much. I'm sorry. I hope your day inproves. I woke up at 121lbs today...a bit better but still 3lbs more than I weighed when I got here. I'm so frusterated, I'd love to cry right now. I'll pray for you <3 |
| from fat0free0air : |
| I know what you mean by not wanting more than just a kissing thing. I can't picture you drunk haha, but it sounds like fuuuun! I found this exercise machine my brother has stashed away in his closet, it's an eliptical but not as good as the ones in the gym...I can't really feel it doing anything unless I squat while I use it but I plan on using it every day I'm in his flat for as long as the Kylie Minogue "Fever" CD is (great beat to work out to ;) ) Have a gooooood day, for me :) |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Have you ever stood on a bridge over rushing water and wanted to jump in REALLY badly? I'm fat again. I hate hearing that you aren't doing well "emotionally" either. I wish I could be there for you. I deleted your other diary, don't put the good stuff in it or I'll probably miss out! Byee <3<3 |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Yeah, my mom keeps asking "Becky, are you keeping that down?" I can truthfully answer yes...blah. |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Why did he pass out? Just because you don't doesn't mean anything, it just means you're too strong to let the weaknesses get to you :) |
| from fat0free0air : |
| Surprise! It's me :D. I miss talking to you too, I just don't want to come on "my sites" while I'm on my brother's computer...he's a geneous with these things and I don't want him to find anything. I hope all is going well, it isn't for me. I'm 118lbs. Blah. Anyways, I should go, but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you! Oh great, the chilli is ready *sigh* <3 |
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