messages to guitarphreak:
(click here to add new message):

from bedwarmhands :
Thank you for your words. And I say the same to you. xx
from the-grey-one :
you really are a remarkable girl. i wish you the best of luck with the healing process you are undertaking. remember, falling isn't failing if we get up and try again.
from the-grey-one :
i read a startling amount of your diary.. you feel like you were made wrong, or made to suffer. but you were born perfect. something happened in your childhood...i mean honestly, nobody gets out of their childhood unscathed, but we somehow manage to convince ourselves what happened then was insignificant.. also.. i could really relate to the relationship you have with your father.. aand ya. all my best wishes to you! truly!
from duplicitous :
Hello! I made it myself a few years ago.
from silverywhite :
Hiyo~ I made the layout myself :)
from omfggwtf :
i love this diary, i just started reading it and i'm going to add you if you don't mind? :) xo
from ceilings :
i'm glad the zine arrived and i'm so glad you like it! i'm so happy with how it turned out. i will (very slowly) be gathering submissions for the 2nd issue so if you feel inspired to submit again, please do! also, if you're feeling into zines, there's a huge event happening in toronto on november 1st called canzine, where tons of people from all around canada and even from outside of canada will be selling their zines. it's a great opportunity to buy zines and see what's out there. i'll be tabling and selling "i knew a motherfucker like you andshe said..." as well as my other zines. its at the gladstone. here's more info if yr interested: https://id408.van.ca.siteprotect.com/brokenpencil/canzine/index2.php and thanks again for submitting! <3
from ceilings :
i dont know if you know but i have psoriasis so i feel you on the eczema! and the zine will be on its way to you tomorrow, should get there super fast cuz we're in the same city. xo.
from abhorgod :
thanks for the note - my writing blows though =)
from ceilings :
hey! the zine is done. i tried to email you but it bounced back. can you send me your mailing address so i can send you your free copy? the zine turned out amazing! i'm so excited to send it to you. [email protected]
from ceilings :
hey girl. i think you miss more than the drugs and drinking, its also the wildness, craziness, freedom. i know what you mean, sometimes in longterm relationships you LOVE the person but the sex goes. its weird. but you should at least try to find a libido to jerk off, that might get things started. <3
from ceilings :
ps: i think you sent me a piece for my zine, im pretty sure it was you but just double checking.
from ceilings :
you want to starve because you are HUNGRY. its not the skinniness, really, that you desire. its that you want, you need, to feel something. you have a spark in you and you are smothering it instead of letting it burst into flame. its hard in a world that says we have to settle, its hard to say we really do deserve to FEEL something when we're told constantly that "everyone learns to put up with this"... but there are lots of ways to live, and there are better ways to live, there are other ways and you'll find it if you direct yourself in that direction. but starvation as a project will bring false successes and disappointments, working simply to distract you and bury you further into a mediocre existence that you clearly dont want. (i know this all too well myself.)
from jimbostaxi :
I am sure there are people in this world that have stimulating and fulfilling jobs, but I don't know any of them. If you would have said to me 5 years ago that I would be driving a taxi I would have called you crazy. This was supposed to be a temporary gig until I found another job in my field but that job never materialized. I have many nights where I ask myself what the fuck am I doing out here? How the hell my life end up like this? But I stay to pay the bills. I wish you good luck with your eating disorder and don't let any guy make you feel bad about yourself.
from jimbostaxi :
From those pics Canada looks real good. :>)
from ceilings :
ps: i've been reading your entries and your writing is PERFECT for the zine!!
from ceilings :
im from toronto canada. and no its not too late! i dont have a deadline yet. thanks for your interest! i cant wait to see what you write! <3
from julymalaise :
Cool, thanks. You can add me if you like.
from julymalaise :
Hey, I like your diary. May I add you to my list? Add me too!
from insanegerbil :
my hubby having low libido now too...so i gotta ask you, when your libido is low, do you still not enjoy the sex even when its really good sex?
from home-of-d :
thanks for sharing. :) As much as I would love to be someone who doesn't give a shit about anything.. I like reading other peoples worlds. I care that there are others out there who arn't shiny happy people.
from home-of-d :
will you share your world? can email me access if your willing.. [email protected]
from flawsnall :
You're so right. Thanks
from blondenproud :
Thanks for the encouragement.
from biggoomba :
brave enough to know when you are weak ?/ That's very strong
from biggoomba :
many are watching your progress, not to judge but to watch you win.. it;s inspiring for everybody to see anyone win.. even a little-- did you ever consider you are inspiring to others? re hobby: hobby or gymwork, itys all basically hobby- across the line where we do what we want to do, so that what we want to happen actually happens , beyond what we have to do, should do or what is expected by others...Inside the land of what we want to do is almost everything you respect honour and admire, and its the line where you are a suddenly a player...be sure to share what discoveries you make as you go along inside the land of what you want to do- its where the kid asleep inside us wakes up to meet the grown up we are going to be..satisfaction is guaranteed if you actually do it.. you can't help but win in some way or another : )
from biggoomba :
random readrer here- consider a hobby- this will not interfere with any decision you make regarding your BF.. it will keep you from fretting, make you a better person for whatever wrap up comes around-- and take this hobby seriously- make something-- start continue and then finish- it should be new to you and easy to start and command your mind and hands and time...not read a book as its too passive, make something- start continue finish-- art is what humans do.. everywhere you see art you see evidence of someone working something oit in the process of making theior art-- even doodle art-- even plasticine smurfs..; even anything-- but commit to it and do it and watch how you feel at the end-- it will be prif=de and relief and satisfaction- esp if you are a stoner-- take control of your mind and use it like the gadget it actually is,, go ahead and think while you work, as long as you work at your treasure activity while thinking-- despair will never find a home if you are toiling away at some wacko activity you are the boss of ---there! .. don't let me down-- remember- culture exists for us: we do not exist for culture
from ivyparker :
I feel for you. But maybe Alex thinks you're totally amazing for all that you go through.
from xself-imagex :
My new diary is: lightgrey. Just to let you know.
from tuesdayafter :
hey kiddo, long time no talk. wanna trade passwords? ps. i know who tiger army is and i effing love them. <3
from sterile-dirt :
you should give me your password, i'd like to see how similar we are, and i didn't know anyone else knew who tiger army is... lol, so hit me back --sam
from hindthesmile :
Thank you. Of course it's okay, I just thought I'd maybe try to get to know the random person who's reading my diary. :)
from hindthesmile :
Hullo.
from missy-17 :
hey im a guitar freak myself!!! anyway why did ya lock down, your diary probably woulda been awesomeness
from totallyyou :
i must admit, i miss your diary. just checkin' in - the whole locked thing is understandable. hope you're doing okay. :)
from spunkyhottie :
hey thats cool that you dont want peps reading your stuff but at least tell me about you~CHEY~
from g-o-t-h-i-c :
Hey whats up?
from guitarphreak :
IM LOCKING AGAIN- I DONT WANT TO, BUT I HAVE TO. DONT ASK FOR PASSWORDS.IM SORRY, I CANT BE BOTHERED. NOT NOW ANYWAYS. I SHOULD BE BACK UP SOON. SORRY. TAKE CARE. nic xoxox
from momma-at-17 :
They look like they work. Umm I originally was going to leave a note to say thank you for emailing me and to let you know that I'm adding you to my favorites list.
from labrayne :
THIS IS A TEST
from momma-at-17 :
Thank you for your note. =) Made me smile, and head on over here to your diary to check ya out, but =( you're locked, so if you wouldn't mind could I please have the username/password? My email is [email protected] Thanks!
from doubledeluxe :
hey! you locked your diary and i am absolutely addicted to it. i have no idea who you are but if i could get a password that would kick shit (if it's alright) thanks. [email protected]
from labrayne :
i hope you can talk some sense into that boy!
from lazamataz88 :
Damn, your profile is HOT! Alexisonfire?! wow, a friend of mine just went to a recent concert in winnipeg Canada, and he brought me back a shirt. Also, HIM kicks major ass. i saw your profile and i just thought...damn. adding you, if you don't mind, Lazzy
from labrayne :
wow, this is the exciting part, except for it being stressful! good luck with your fella.
from insanegerbil :
holy fuck....your profile is nearly perfection.except that shit about elizabeth wurtzel...fuck.she's such a poser bitch.the only book she wrote about herself that had any truth to it was MORE NOW AGAIN.did you read that one yet...?damn.it was good shit.anyways, if you read it, compare the facts to the shit she said in prozac nation.she's full of shit.i love her anyway.
from freakish13 :
Have a good time in Ottawa. Don't Die.
from labrayne :
GAH I AM STUPID try [email protected] that should work thx!
from labrayne :
hey my email is labrayne@diaryland com KTHX
from honestliar :
I'm sorry, I've been waiting nearly a week and I haven't gotten an email from you yet, can you try again? [email protected] xx<3
from labrayne :
yo I go out of town for a week and you lock up? Hit me. [email protected]
from xmakeithurtx :
ive noticed that you've locked your diary. you have your reasons and i respect that. if your wouldn't mind, i was wondering if i could possibly have the username/password. its become a daily thing to read to your diary, and i really enjoy it. my days havent been the same since. email me or leave me a note. if not i completely understand. <3 stephanie
from candy-vomit :
Horray, Thank You! Thank You! My e-mail is [email protected]
from candy-vomit :
Hey, I was wondering if it's alright for me to please get a password. Your one of the few that I enjoy reading and one of the few that update. I miss reading. -Cat
from honestliar :
I am a hardcore fan of you. And you locked your diary, you are like one of two people on my list to actually update your fucking diary. Can I please have a password?
from freakish13 :
If you have reasons for locking it..as in you don't want anyone else to read it..ignore this fucking message. I would love a password. I love reading your diary. You are so interesting and in a way..the future me. I know this fucking scares you. I am sorry. my email is [email protected] thanks. I hope everything is good.
from totallyyou :
does that mean that you're locking your diary to everyone? or just for privacy online reasons? in all cases, i wouldn't mind a password or username at all -- i read your diary everyday and ... i don't know... i don't know if this sounds weird i just love to read it and know how you're doing. so if you're handing those out my e-mail is [email protected]... if you're not, then that's too bad and i hope all goes well for you. seriously. ~~~candice
from guitarphreak :
i have to lock my diary. for reasons i dont really care for explaining.
from freakish13 :
Happy Birthday. You don't fucking know it, but you are like my idol damnit. You don't realize it but you actually have a lot of shit going for you.
from candy-vomit :
~!!Happy B-day!!~
from scar-r-ed :
:-( hope you're ok *hugs*
from scar-r-ed :
yay! that's fabulous about Carleton. they're a really good uni, aren't they - i would've thought about applying there if i'd gone to Canada
from grim-reviews :
Hi, we're grim reviews. A new diaryland review site. Interested in getting a review? Drop on by. We'd love to have you...
from scar-r-ed :
sometimes it's ok to say no to parties. of course, then you end up rather isolated, like me, but your head generally feels a good deal better in the morning! (unless of course, again like me, you decide to get wrecked on your own ...) ah well. i hope you have a good time, anyway, and don't get too fucked. xx
from tuesdayafter :
well honestly, you gave me the best answer anyone has and i dont wanna sound cliche and stupid but that really was for a close freind who wanted to try it and i wanted him to know what it would be like.. he needed some kind of real answer, your good at that stuff... take care!
from tuesdayafter :
my parents do the whole clothes bit too, and im pretty clothes aware too. I think parents are just picking on that stuff becuase they dont wanna see the other stuff, like they wanna believe that your pants are the biggest problem with you. Hey I hear alotta stuff on coke, whats it really like?
from tuesdayafter :
me too... everything you said, to prove you deserve pain... wow i don't even know you and your better for me than my therapist. Hey we all have addictions, yours is bad but I would love it, I'm sure you might feel the same way about mine but i guess thats how people are. I love reading your diary, if you ever wanna AIM me im at CherrybombBarbie... later
from h8te-me :
god, i wnat to make love to yu.
from tuesdayafter :
damn I'm going on a school trip to Montreal or Quebec or some french speakin place... my uh "freind" (not really but w.e.) is bringing some really great shrooms for the bus ride. Just wondering if you know-- do you canadians have intense customs liek in and out of the country?
from tuesdayafter :
hey where in canada do you live? i'm going up to canada soon and i heard that the mj is supreme but i dont really know anyone up there except well you kinda sorta... let me know (sorry for your loss, deaths a bitch) later
from scar-r-ed :
so if you don't get in this year, take a year out, get a job or go travelling or both, maybe retake some of your exams or redo a year at school, and try again the next year. or just don't go to uni or college ...
from scar-r-ed :
so what if you fail? i don't mean that in a harsh way, but my mum failed some of her a-levels. she still got a 1st in her bachelors, and went on to do a masters and could've done a phd but she went into teaching and met my dad and had me instead. i don't know if that's comforting or not, but it's meant to be. and i'm sorry for your loss. death sucks.
from tuesdayafter :
I just took my midyears, I'm a fucking freshman and I'm already getting avalanched with the college stuff... stick it out and be strong, good luck!
from scar-r-ed :
hey, good luck with all the college shit!
from iliveforthis :
I grew up near toronto when i was younger (Aurora?) but now i live in Calgary,Alberta!
from iliveforthis :
Hey thanks for the message! Your diary's really well written. Where are you from?
from scar-r-ed :
GOD i hope i don't spend the rest of my year the way i saw this year in ... drunk and smacking my head on a wall. (ok, so it was about one am by then, but ...)
from xnotenoughx :
Sure - the name is "welcome" and the password is "home. Sorry it took me a couple of days to get back to you - been rushing around with school work and went to a New Year's party last night. xoxox
from hichled :
that is a cool tattoo. what kindo f bird is it.
from xnotenoughx :
How old are you, by the way??? J/C
from xnotenoughx :
I love the lyrics to that Social Code song. . .are they a signed band? What kind of music do they do? I think I might have heard of them before, but my head's not exactly the safest place. :-) While I know it seems like that "once a cutter" thing is true right now, I don't believe it. That's like saying, "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic", etc., etc. I think it's just something you have to wean yourself off of. I started cutting in 6th grade or so, and it gradually got to it's worst point my sophomore year. But now, as a senior, I've really pretty much stopped. It just started spacing itself out over time. The last time I did it was a couple of months ago, and I hadn't done it for at least 6 months prior to that. . .and the only reason I did it was to see if I still got the same thrill out of it! I didn't, so I really don't expect myself to ever hurt myself again. *shrugs* Everyone's different, though. Just don't limit yourself to labels - you're better than that.
from scar-r-ed :
yeah, i do believe in the "once a cutter" thing. like robert says, you can't prove a negative - you can never prove that you've totally stopped, you can only disprove it if you do it again. but i'd like to think it doesn't matter. i think i'm always going to hurt myself some way, or if i don't, i'll still think about it, or i won't need to. but as long as i need to, it's there. and if i just accept that, it doesn't need to hurt me. (no, that doesn't make a lot of sense - but it's quarter past one, i just got off the phone with my mum, i'm going to go read some more flu! have fun at the gathering tonight :) )
from totallyyou :
hey... i love your diary and i love your tattoo... and yes i do believe once a cutter, always a cutter is true... or at least is for a really fucking long time. like, seriously, i think that people that stop officially have just had something really big happen to them to completely altar it, or they're being monitored... and people that grow out of it only grow out of it in their late twenties/early thirties or later...if anything. i think people can even go a couple years without it and come back to it again... iunno just my opinion, then again, what do i know? good luck with...everything. candice;)
from xnotenoughx :
ohmigosh, you're tattoo is so totally awesome! punk rock and yet soft. beautiful, babe! xoxox
from tuesdayafter :
that tatoo is effing awesome. I have a pheonix tatoo on my ankle a bit like that one. I cant see the flab you keep talking about... your thin like whoa and that pic you took is gorgeous
from candy-vomit :
Hey, your tattoo rocks! I <3 it!
from completeliar :
now follow me on this one: we pay you to stare out the window
from scar-r-ed :
oh good, i'm glad you like it
from watery-tears :
Thanks for that note you left awhile ago! I really like your layout as well!
from scar-r-ed :
hehe good luck getting a tattoo - post pictures when you're done :)
from hichled :
who cares about personalititty, tell me more about the big boobs (yours.)
from rcrupmyskirt :
Thank you doll, yours is amazing as well. I got it from fsdesigns.diaryland.com and they are fall out boy lyrics. but i have deathcab up at the moment
from riotkittin :
hey! i just wanted to say that i really like your diary. i'm intrigued and i'm looking forward to read more entries! ^_^
from watery-tears :
Hey, thanks, I like yours too!
from tuesdayafter :
hey, um i dont know how i found your diary but yea ok, thisll sound all retarded and gay but i so get you. dont luagh but im 14 and last year i was exactly like you are right now, stoned stupid and loving it and atleast trying to do my work so i can get stoned somemore. haha i guess its all that changing soceity crap. yea well i just made a new diary bc i had thise life changing epiphany moment i guess but my old one is like exactly like yours is now. from what i read you wake up, get baked, eat lunhc, get baked, come home and get baked and congrats, i used to be exactly like you! Infact people used to call me The Stoner Nymph. i just stopped that stuff last week actually! yea i just kinda wanted to say that even though your older and whatnot, it was kinda comforting reading about soemone like me, or liek i used to be. you inda made me feel better about being me so uh, thanks in some weirdo way. yea i added you to my favorite diaries bc yea youre awsome for being you and you made me feel better about being me
from dark-doll :
I think you made a mistake... you left me a note saying I'm pretty?!????? lol who? me?? Where did you look at? lol Anyhow, thanks a lot I suppose... I'd be really nice if it wasn't a mistake hahah You seem so spontaneous! and that's cool :) ♥
from scar-r-ed :
er don't worry about being emo cos lyrics make you cry. fireworks made me cry last night. how sad is that! the pile of drying up in my kitchen made me cry the other day ...
from scar-r-ed :
yay! no more coke! good girl. and i'm proud of you for not skipping classes or burning today. absolutely way to go. (and i've been sober for about 24 hours, and won't be drinking this weekend either cos robert's here). and hey, don't put yourself down. i'm sure you're every bit as good as simon. you just need to have confidence in yourself (cliche, but true!) xx elf
from thermocline :
xox
from guitarphreak :
heyy....thanks for the notes, and for being concerned...thats the last time im doing it. i promise myself!!! hehe.... -nic
from scar-r-ed :
oh nic i can't exactly talk bein drunk as proverbial skunk right now but please be careful with the coke; was doing a first aid course earlier today (yesterday?) and we learned all about side effects of coke - apparently it takes more and more and more to get you even just feeling normal cos the highs are great but the lows are so fuckin bad, and then it could have adverse effects on your heart? i don't wanna lecture nic, but take care. xx elfy
from scar-r-ed :
oh nic, be careful with the cocaine. not a good thing :(
from suicideinc :
i'm terribly sorry darling, these past few weeks have been awfully unkind to any shred of creativity i might have once had. my deepest apollogies. <3
from totallyyou :
:) thanks! nice i think i'll be adding you too;) (i looked into it and from what i've read so far of your diary i love) pyce
from ghostfire :
Thanks, I don't get a lot of comments on my writing. I appreciate all of them. And, yeah, Tiger Army are hella cool. (Probably my favorite band, in case my totally obsessive compulsive diary didn't prove that already...Ha ha ha). But psychobilly's just kind of my thing....Anyway, thanks again. --Ghostie
from scar-r-ed :
Add him! What've you got to lose? Otherwise you'll always wonder what might've been!!
from scar-r-ed :
i know what you mean. i started drinking to escape cutting. now i cut drunk. heh. it gets better (so they tell me) so hang in there and stick a smile on that face. (i need to be drunker, i need a cuddle)
from thermocline :
ps: a-w-k-w-a-r-d
from mathero :
I'm promoting my diary because I'm bored as hell tonight =)
from manicfetish :
thanx for adding me...i've got a poetry diary also if your interested...manicfetish9 ill add you whenever i find the time, i g2g..oh and prozac nation and the bell jar are awesome
from ohhhgosh :
thanks. I like your diary too! I'm also terribly emo and obsessed with england. :\
from thermocline :
burt mccracken is a homo erectus
from blondenproud :
thanks for the comment... i noticed you like sylvia plath - the bell jar, yeah, i love that one too.
from bert-is-sex :
hey thanks for the comments! yeah the used fuckin OWN and i cant wait for their new cd. im so obsessed haha. dude! and your a vegetarian too? me too! rock on! well im gonna add you as well..but ill be back to comment some more and read your diary some more! <3Jess
from diet-c0ke :
you're the only person that has really wished me luck with the whole thing, and I don't even know you.
from gcevilqueen3 :
thanks for adding me. And by the way, i am so in love with your layout. Its awsome. ~Britt
from emotivatedx :
thanks!
from kill-myself :
hey there ;) do you have aim.. if you do leave me a note iwth your Sn.. and we'll tralk or something.. haha i have no life.. take care ;)
from kornsgurl69 :
Hey..yea it was the project rev. Tour with Less than Jake, The used , Snoop, Korn and linkin park. It was a bad ass show.
from candy-vomit :
Hey, thanks for the note, it made me feel better. People can be dickheads, I cant help that.
from kill-myself :
haha thanks for the note :D it's VOL-TAIR.. (like tear a paper) with a silent E.. haha i hope that makes sense.. well take care love.
from gloryfades13 :
ahh wow, Devon from MuchMusic just wandering the streets... I'd kill to see that, I have the hugest crush on him. Haha anyway your diary is pretty rad, thanks for checking mine out :D
from dead-wings :
tis vicki from fsd. what do you need help with?
from snow666white :
:)
from addict-- :
yes the used kick ass. i like you. your cool. keep in touch?
from scar-r-ed :
for what it's worth, sounds like amanda's right. don't let the guy guilt trip you! xx elf
from xxfurbiexx :
hey thanks for the note. and for the good luck thing. i hope i can go to the concert so bad. lol. neways....yeah....
from amylee1fan :
What kind of guitar do ya play?
from scar-r-ed :
aww. it sounds pretty bad (the car) but doesn't sound bad enough to die over. think about how much funerals cost? (i'm sorry, that's gallows humour). no but seriously, most parents love their daughters more than their cars. take care. elf
from clinical :
maybe being the "antithesis" to your little group of friends isn't such a bad thing.
from antihoyhoys :
WIllow!!!
from bloodyjuliet :
If I saw Avril Lavigne shopping I think I would throw clothes at her. But that's just me. I think it would be funny to see her threaten to fight me like she always does on tv. Heh Heh. Take Care --Ki.
from scar-r-ed :
*huge hugs* it hurts not to be trusted doesn't it. even by people you hardly know. but I bet somewhere there's someone who trusts you. and broken trust can be rebuilt. -elf
from frostedlemon :
happy (belated) canada day from one misplaced canadian to one properly placed canadian. thanks for the note... glad i could add a bit of humour to your day.
from scar-r-ed :
she's so thin she looks ill. you can count her ribs from the back. that's not gorgeous. xx elf
from scar-r-ed :
one day the perfect guy will fall right into your arms and you won't even have to look. that's when you stop trying. xx
from xrazorscarsx :
i.m adding you...is that okay??
from gcevilqueen3 :
hey! you like the used too! that rocks! hehe. Actually my friend Amy made the layout for me. You seem so cool! you like silverchair and you dont eat meat...dude you are good in my book :D ~Britt
from bloodyjuliet :
Yeah, math is horrible. My mom is trying to get me to take summer school...I wont go to six hours of pure math, I freaken refuse...If I fail, I'll kill myself, haha. But good luck, I hope you pass!
from kingbastard :
Hey! I updated my site, so you might want to check it out. It's www.marksbeefs.com See ya!
from raisinet :
this is adrianne, i wanted to apologise for not getting your template out to you, i will have it done today (thursday). i just went to your diary and im totally using the picture that spontaneously appeared, i like it much. sorry again.
from raisinet :
this is adrianne, i wanted to apologise for not getting your template out to you, i will have it done today (thursday). i just went to your diary and im totally using the picture that spontaneously appeared, i like it much. sorry again.
from evilbunny84 :
Just wanted to say hey and that I like your diary. The layout is cool. :)
from windupdollx :
thanks. I like yrs too. xox
from foxgallagher :
*elvis impersonation* Thank you, thank you very much
from bloodyjuliet :
Hahaha, I hate that place so much. I had the hugest craving to light it on fire today...If only the damn walls weren't made out of concrete...damnet...
from scar-r-ed :
Ta :) at least you got a reason to hate school ... I left the damn place a year ago and it still fucks me up lol. <3 Elf
from becksiekate :
aww thanx! i love yours aswell..dudey l;ayout! him and placebo rock my socks....peace out..becksiekate xxx
from faith-scars :
Hey, Don't let parents get you down. Its sooo not worth it. Don't think about ending it. Not yet. Stay safe. Lissy - xxx
from bloodyjuliet :
You have a surface piercing? That's so cool! I want one, but I hear they don't usually work that well. Did it hurt like a bitch? My lip suprisingly didn't hurt as much as my ear, that was weird. But I DID do them with a safety pin so whatever. Piercings are fun...Wee.
from bloodyjuliet :
Thank you so much ^.^ I used Paint Shop Pro 8 to make it. You have an awesome taste in music, by the way, HIM rules.
from faith-scars :
Helloooooooooo, You left a message for me and I thought I would return the favour! Its always good to make new friends. I hope you're ok at the moment. Lissy, xxx
from mymixedtape :
Sorry, I should have said this is guiltyflash. Just another account.
from mymixedtape :
Hey. Where in Toronto do you live? I don't mean to sound creepy, haha. <3Marie.
from tea-for-one :
How do you pierce a coler bone, or hip bone for that matter? I have never heard of that before.
from tourbusbound :
Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it
from scar-r-ed :
You are so pretty!
from honestliar :
I think you're beautiful.
from rockersangel :
you like kickass music, great diary! peace +asH
from scar-r-ed :
Hey! Nic, no guy is worth cutting over. All men are arseholes who think with their trousers. *ALL* men. Even the ones who seem nice. So don't let this Noah guy get to you, 'k? (})*hugs* still stings though doesn't it! <3 -elf
from she-lied :
sorry it took me so long to get this to you. it completely slipped my mind. anyway, since you can't e-mail html or it comes out fucky, i'm going to link you to the pages and all you have to do is right click, view source and then copy and paste that code directly into your diary. you'll have to change the links to whatever you want them to be and you can change whatever else, all i ask is that the design link to me remains. anyway, here you go and enjoy.// main page: (http://ourworld.cs.com/ThisGirlOnPause/selfesteem+main.txt) // archive page: (http://ourworld.cs.com/ThisGirlOnPause/selfesteem+older.txt)
from tea-for-one :
Happy Birthday hun.
from justanother- :
thx for the compliment. i've changed diaries though to she-lied. & i haven't let anyone use my layouts in the past, mainly because i haven't saved the code for most of them. the only code i have is for the current one if yr interested in that one.
from hammered :
heheh thanks for the note :]. my creative juices seem to be evaporating though.
from sliceduparm :
YAY A MONTH IS FANTASTIC :D (well it's about what I've managed; I've given up for Lent ... lol) :) t/c <3 -Elfy
from calm-panic :
Hey, thanks for the message in my g-book! I'm glad you like my layout. My friend Mis did all of my layouts (I have many many different diaries scattered everywhere) Her work is awesome. But yeah, thanks for the compliment...I wouldn't read my diary if I were you though, I would probably bore you to death...
from amber-darko :
Hi! My name's Amber and I'm 23. I am writing a book about my personal account of self hate and self harm. I'd like to include some personal stories from different stages in healing, different sexes and different ages to show that no one is the same, but we all are hurting in ways that we are unable to convey. I do not intend on printing names, there is no length restriction and I will not censor. I have decided to also include poetry or just general opinions. Please email me if you are interested. [email protected]
from kittyleopard :
Awesome diary! I love it like I love my pocket protector. You rock my socks. Karma. PS-I would have come to your drummerless practice and drummed for you so it would sound oh so cool. Because Im just awesome like that. Like brussel sprouts.
from thethinice :
yeah, i cant wear bathing suits either, or you can see all my tattoos i gave myself with exacto knives and ink pens. -hammer
from thethinice :
yeah, i cant wear bathing suits either, or you can see all my tattoos i gave myself with exacto knives and ink pens. -hammer
from eternalscars :
thanks for adding me! ♥ glad you like... <333
from goingunder1 :
love the new layout!
from hammered :
hey thanks for the note :). i'd love to let you use the Lying From You layout if you want to but sadly, i lost the picture and the HTML because i reformatted my com. well... yeah. thanks again for dropping by! =)
from gcevilqueen3 :
hi. just found your diary and saw that your into animal rights. very cool :D ~Britt
from mandahm :
whats the website addy? <3
from sliceduparm :
hey I know this isn't going to help at all right now, but school doesn't matter. All you have to do is pass the exams. Just scrape through them, get marks enough to get to the next stage of your life. Seriously, I graduated high school in May and I already can't remember how many points I got in IB. So ... clearly very important! And yet it was 2 years of overachieving, perfectionistic hell, which has left me ... oh, just a little fucked up!. -Elf
from sliceduparm :
guess your brother's worried about you?
from sliceduparm :
Nix, you're not at a scary weight yet, but the way you're heading is scary and dangerous. There are healthier ways to lose weight if you want to, though you don't need to, than by starving yourself and purging. I don't know *what* the healthier ways are since I only ever used one (the starving way) but I do know that living with permanent hunger is hell and makes you feel physically like shit. (I know, I'm nagging, just like my Mum, and probably for the same reasons ...). I don't know why you're so self destructive, but please take care of yourself hun (}) -Elf
from xblckvelvetx :
Hi my name is Lizzy. Um, we have a lot in commom, for instance out mothers bug and nag a lot. If you would wanna talk, I am always here... Leave me a note or something. Loves: Lizzy.
from sliceduparm :
"does this mean i have an ED? " - Yes. Sorry. *hugs* I don't know what more to say. Anorexia = less than 85% of the average /normal / appropriate body weight for your age and height. Bulimia = throwing up at least twice a week for three months or more and binging. EDNOS = eating disorder no other specification - a handy label to stick on people like me who try to purge but can't, binge occasionally, starve themselves but can never lose enough to get below that 85%. I don't know for sure which of those categories you fit into; almost certainly bulimia, probably anorexia, and if neither of those then definitely ednos. Look after yourself. The way I see it, cutting doesn't kill you if you're careful. Sure, you bleed a lot. Sure, it hurts occasionally. Sure, you end up with some scars which can be awkward to explain away. Sure, you go through hell. But I can't see a way in which it endangers your life unless you go too close to certain veins - and I don't think that's all that easy. But eating disorders, they kill you. They destroy your heart. They destroy your skeleton. They destroy your fertility. Purging destroys your oesophagus, dehydrates you and unbalances your electrolytes (which will slap you straight in hospital, hooked up to machines, if nothing else does!). Oh, and it wrecks your tooth enamel. I'm sorry, I don't know if it's a smart thing to leave you this note or not. I hope that's not too much info for you to handle. Please try to find someone to talk to! *hugs* Elfy
from guitarngirl :
Thursday is awesome! I like your diary entries. Keep writing. We have a lot in common. Contact me sometime... if you'd like. Kate
from sliceduparm :
You know, that girl whose Mum died is probably going through a lot of shit. But don't let that make you feel bad for feeling bad, because so are you. You are depressed, (self harming), and have an eating disorder, and I'm not sure what level of drug dependancy. You have a hell of a lot of shit to cope with too. <3 -Elf
from mandahm :
<3 thank you. your diary is beautiful. keep writing, and catch up with me sometime online. you seem like my kind of person. love, mandy
from sliceduparm :
hey sweetie, you're doin really well with not cutting yourself. :) depression is shit, that's true. but it can be beaten. it really really can. some days it will seem so hard it's not worth bothering, but then there come the better days and you have something to hold onto again. take my word for it. i hope you're okay. -elf
from laura-ly :
Love the layout.
from sweet-malice :
losing entrries ya that sucks.. lol.. i learrned though! next time copy your entry when you are done so that if you get the stupid "cannot find page" or whatever, you can always just go back and PASTE the entry on the box and buala ;)
from sliceduparm :
so lets get this straight: you do full time school, have a job, are learning to drive, play an instrument, cook at least some of the time, and your dad wants you to do *more*? no offence to your dad but for fuck's sake! only one person there! don't overload. *hugz*
from sarahsundae :
thanks for joining the eatingdisor diaryring.
from pornoviolent :
WHOOO GUITARZ BRING TEH ROCK!!! YEAH!
from sliceduparm :
*argh* you're Canadian too, that is so cool! Except I never lived in Canada, I just have citizenship. Thought you didn't sound quite English or quite American ... well then no wonder your dad doesn't know my boss, since I live in England :p Hey anyway you take care of yourself, ok? Canada's underpopulated as it is!! *hugz* -Elf
from sliceduparm :
hey nikki ... does your dad know Taff (my boss?) cos he hunts too (and i was veggie for a couple of years 'cept my dad always made me eat meat, so i know what you mean!!) ... that would be weird lol! i dunno, they all seem to know each other. -Elf
from sliceduparm :
hey, i locked up. you've got a username (guitarphreak) and a password. you can email me ([email protected]) to get the password if you like, or you can guess; it's not too hard! -elf
from sliceduparm :
no, it's not just you and you don't sound like an attention seeker. it is kinda weird if all the other parents are congratulating and yours aren't. maybe they have a hard time expressing positive emotion (i.e. they have two states: frozen and angry - it's not unknown!) just a thought. luv -elf
from sliceduparm :
hey babe, *not* good for you! please stop while you still can! please! *hug* -Elf
from sliceduparm :
that party sounds shit. know how you feel. *hug* -elf
from sliceduparm :
hey! well, i clearly *wasn't* very coherent was I! what i meant was that throwing up sounds painful and you sound unhappy. duh. obviously you're unhappy or you wouldn't be slicing, right! anyway i've added you to my favorites now so i can see when you update ... which means i will be reading your diary *cackle*. can you tell i'm a bit manic tonight? lol. anyway hang in there ;) -Elf
from sliceduparm :
ouch! what more can i say. um, ouch. will be more coherent another time -Elf
from fitofdestiny :
Hey, I hate school too... anyways, a salt burn is basically when you use salt to dry out your skin to the point where it swells and once it even came off and bleed on me... the good part- I don't THINK the 'burns' are permanent. I'm not positive of that, but when they begin to fade, they fade fast.
from fitofdestiny :
I can totally relate to you. I'm EXACTLY the same way. I'm loving your diary...
from punk-off :
I like this diary. Thats all I have to say.

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