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I think I left that note, like, two months ago or something. But yeah -- you're very intelligent and your analyses of stuff can be riveting. In case you don't know (though you might?) - you do *know* me. I'm not a stranger. (It's hard for me to tell whether or not people on this site recognize me, because I'm so neurotic I keep changing my screen name.) Anyway, hope you're doing well these days. I haven't read anything recently. I may get to you later on in the day.

from musikoid :

God your diary is great.

from atwowaydream :

as another person who refers to 'those days' as the dark days and had a hart time (and still does) coming out from hiding. . . I send love. Lovely entry.

from the-grey-one :

hey i'd be interested in doing the 60 day fast that you did... i love how you are still talking about how much it connected you to your body and i think maybe that's exactly what needs to happen with me. would you mind emailing the information? [email protected]

from the-grey-one :

your entries are bold and honest, and i salute you.

from the-grey-one :

hey... now i could just be some crazy kook on the internet. but your last entry (as well as Exposure) makes me think that your body is releasing a lot of charged emotion right now. That vulnerability and wanting to escape, than the panic and anxiety.. those are coming up because you are creating space for them, to be noticed, and integrated. that's the best thing that i would suggest next time something like that happens. just breathe, focus your attention on the feeling, without judging it. acknowledge that the feeling is just an experience that you're having. that's supposed to uncharge the emotion that your body is holding... i have to say i'd be lying if i said i wasn't jealous and admiring of the amazing self-work you've been doing. you're pretty phenomenal.

from atwowaydream :

latest entry: Beautiful.

from atwowaydream :

happy is definitely something to savor. Even if you've been happier, you are still happy now. . . that can be priceless.

from the-grey-one :

so happy to see you update! so very glad how well the juice fast worked for you! it's very difficult to give up our substances that help sedate and control our emotions. and i believe whole-heartedly you can access the change you are looking for. <3 i pretty much think you are fantastic

from musikoid :

you can read me if you want - i'm open but i might not stick around diaryland very long, i usually don't - thanks...

from the-grey-one :

hey, thanks for the interest in the entry! it's the third or fourth installment in what appears to be a strange story that is unraveling spontaneously! i want to read the whole thing too, but i wouldn't count on it! i have a tendency not to finish anything. also, good luck with your fast! you are braver than i.

from the-grey-one :

"I sang with my heart, from the dark corner." lovely.

from fatcowww :

Hello dear reader :) I have decided to lock my diary again, probably indefinitely, starting the entry after next. I hope you would still want to read me - if so, please let me know where to send your details for login (via email would be best). Note me or email me (fatcowww@dl). xxx

from fatcowww :

My heart goes out to you. I hope this year brings better things. xxx

from musikoid :

thinking of you

from the-grey-one :

i had an awesome chill while reading "the flowers". you really are something, and i am glad for your sharing, and your words.

from the-grey-one :

it is interesting how diaryland/the universe seems to work like that..

from the-grey-one :

of course you can!

from the-grey-one :

the entry about howie made me tear up! my dog is getting old!aahhhh oh noooo why woulld you do thiis to meee!?.. as for your other recent entries. your grey-one is just as mean as mine (the nasty bitch from jul/29). there will be truth in their words as long as your perspective continues to align with theirs. they are true - but only from that narrow perspective. their are other truths you could believe in, that are just as valid but larger and lovelier. perspective is a gift, and our lack of skill with wielding it is the curse. you saw your leg with a new perspective. that was true, what you saw. things are everything at once. ugly beautiful sad joyous. i think if we practice enough we can start letting go... your diary always amazes me.

from the-grey-one :

your note meant a hellofalot to me. i connect with people in real life, but only when i'm capable. most of the time i am a big ol' shut in.

from the-grey-one :

isn't it interesting that we can't just logic our way out of depression and hurt.. sometimes being of rational mind is more of a curse than a blessing. we can see, rationally, how to live a better life, but choose differently, based on how we feel. and we blame ourselves for being irrational...but rationally we are an irrational sort of species. [btw] i liked the last line of the entry very much.

from the-grey-one :

You continually impress me with your entries. I am also continually dismayed with the these terrible teachers. My jaw dropped while reading 'Tony'. I am amazed you were able to hold your tongue.

from the-grey-one :

hey, really loved your latest entry about the special needs kids. i'm glad to hear that you are going to use such awful demonstrations of teaching in a positive way! (i still can't believe she screams at them like that! how is that even allowed?)

from the-grey-one :

"And to be honest, terrified at the prospect of continuing to live." .. yeees, know that one well.

from the-grey-one :

I'm with you on the destruction of life. I hurt a beetles leg last week and I am still guilting over it. But we can not see the bigger picture all the time.. so maybe it worked out for the best that what happened happened.

from mollysnow :

I liked that entry. I was brought up Catholic too. I think I know what you mean. Those sacred songs make you feel kind of holy, even if you aren't religious. I bet you're a good musician. You can read me if you like.

from the-grey-one :

haha! i have totally been interrupted mid-masturbation by Jehovah's! i imagine now that its probably more common than i first would have thought... my fantasy involves being the (slightly more)dominant girl in a threesome with two other chicks.. *sigh*

from illusionless :

Your newest entry intrigued me. Parts of your fantasies sound similar to mine. And that part at the end made me laugh so hard! (excuse the pun) I love the honesty you have ben putting in your diary lately. It's very good. I'm not quite sure what I wanted to say in this note exactly. I wish you luck in finding a fulfilling and contented ground between fantasy and reality.

from the-grey-one :

your diary is absolutely fascinating. i enjoyed reading it backward... i can't pin down exactly why i couldn't stop reading, but somehow a half an hour got swallowed up by it.

from xorbit :

Well done with "Tommy" :) It reads beautifully :) :)

from xorbit :

Y'know, I was on the verge of deleting the guestbook since it didn't seem like anyone was going to use it. So you've saved the life of a guestbook! Yay! ;) I'm flattered to be an inspiration, tho, on reading your Liz & Andy entry (prior to being aware of the gb entry), I did wonder if it had something to do with me :)

from xorbit :

I've read all your entries and I can relate to some of your issues. Your stark honesty is good, in context.

from glorycloud :

"a piece of shit scumbag"-I can relate to that-peace

from runner4ever :

I'm glad you'r finding out about running. People who don't run don't know what they are missing. Please go to http://www.box.net/shared/4nco1jvpel I think I forgot to include you in a group email when I finished the next leg of the run. At about 4:55 the inspiration kicks in - Gustav Holst influence, and I am both thankful and proud. I hope you enjoy it.

from runner4ever :

The theme of involvement versus detachment and where to find a healthy balance is one that I contemplate frequently. A priest once told me it's a question of what we do when we are alone. Anyway, I see you as a spiritual person on a journey. I think of myself as the same, although I am awaiting a breakthrough of sorts. There's a book - I'd have to search for the name - in which a person seems stuck, but everyone else can gradually see the change. Best to you on your path.

from runner4ever :

Check your email for message from Todd.

from illusionless :

I'm sorry about the loss of your friend.

from glorycloud :

I have catching up reading your blog-very emotional-raw-thank you for sharing so deeply-I have taken a break from Diaryland-just writing in my LiveJournal blog -but I plan to keep reading my friends in diaryland-peace Jonny

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