mr-chainsaw's Diaryland Diary

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Where did you go?

I am back.
Eight day absence.
If only you knew why.
I don't even want to know why.
It was stupid.
And selfish.
I was desperate.
And blind.
I was sick.
And sad again.
It pushed me over the edge.
I couldn't handle it all.
I fell.
But I got back up.
And brushed the dirt from my knees.
I would love to say that my thoughts are better.
I would love to say that I am better.
But my thoughts aren't as bad, but they aren't better.
They linger.
And as far as I go, I still want to hurt myself, but I can't, because I'll end up right back where I was.
I don't want that.
Never again.
Never let me get that close again.
I don't care to say anymore.
I just don't care.
-mr.chainsaw-
in rotation: Nichts.

8:10 p.m. - 2003-02-04

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