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messages to catfish19:
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from just-onebody :
*he was with God
from just-onebody :
Thank you for understanding. It means so much. For 'The last temptation..' I couldn't reconcile the fact that Jesus doesn't know the will of God any better than ordinary men and for him to fight the will of God in the beginning...I thought that with God when God created the world, so how can he forget it all and want the world? And most of all forget that He's the Son of God? Some parts of the books referenced the Gospel of Thomas that's not canonical, like the clay bird that came to life and I've been taught that Jesus didn't perform miracles until the Holy Spirit fell on Him when he was baptized by John. And Lazarus as semi-corpse when he's resurrected. Too much confusion. It's like a completely different Jesus and even though it's fiction it confuses.
from infinityfye :
Why am I having the feeling that "might be back" has the probability of me dying as I write this... which is very low, if you take a limit with that function tending to zero, it'll turn out to be a discontinuous function, so what are the chances, honestly?
from just-onebody :
Ic. I like catfish, because, like I said in an earlier note, it reminds me of my national icon the Merlion. http://www.jacekphoto.com/singapore/merlion_statue.jpg When you have a new diary, please contact me okay?
from just-onebody :
The lastest entry sounds much like a dumping speech, and I feel like the jilted fan...it's kind of harsh to know that you "never were catfish19". It was nice sharing your life with you. I'll be hopping onto the new address now.
from infinityfye :
Apparently it's alot of fun, but didn't you say you already deliver them late :P
from golfwidow :
Yay Shaun of the Dead!
from just-onebody :
Immunity at the workplace? It never happened to me, not even on my last day at my ex-workplace.
from infinityfye :
Finally!
from just-onebody :
Woohoo! You're quoted! Go for that journalist appointment. Well done on the A! Your writing is delectable as it is clear.
from plopphizz :
Congrats, you've been Quoted: http://quoted.diaryland.com/1500readers.html. Thanks for the great writing. -- Ploppy
from just-onebody :
Thank you for empathizing...I guess maybe because the person who committed suicide might be any one of us, makes us feel guily or scared. Maybe one day it's us and we'd resent those who turned us away..
from infinityfye :
I don't believe death wishes or the irritating desire to drive the movies' way is by any means related to depression. I think if you actually do try to drive a bit crazy, forgetting there is something called brakes, on purpose, for instance is a perfect way to "breathe out"... a small adventure.
from infinityfye :
I don't believe death wishes or the irritating desire to drive the movies' way is by any means related to depression. I think if you actually do try to drive a bit crazy, forgetting there is something called brakes, on purpose, for instance is a perfect way to "breathe out"... a small adventure.
from just-onebody :
Gosh...exorcism...I believe in it. Yeah, God is good, amen. But it's hard to reconcile the fact that you were a spiritual skeptic and yet a Christian. I'm glad you're fine though! You were really blessed at that camp and maybe you shouldn't be ashamed of that...your testimony may minister to others, you know? Just remember that as a child of Abba Father you're greatly blessed, highly favored and deeply loved by Him! (Psalms 23:4) "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." And you know what? You walk THROUGH it.
from infinityfye :
Oh but of course... numbers, yeah sure it's all about... It's all about... it's all about... err... yea sure. Numbers :P
from infinityfye :
So I sign in diaryland... get excited at the red buddy list thing... click the link... get all happy and stuff when I see the red catfish thing... eagerly click the link... to read "I won't" as a first sentence...:S :S :S :S :S
from resrap :
Well said about the poetry. For me, peoms are as effective as its target group. Obviously it's written for reading for someone, if it's not everyone. Shakespeare's poems and puns are more clever because of the fact that it had to sell like a professional movie to the monarchs at that time, so it must afford to be polished and appealing at every line and correct iambic metres. But there's also the hackneyed prose/poetry we see today that are informal as they are literarily under-informed. But it's intimate in another way when you see it as someone giving honest spurts of his emotion without letting the rules of english get in the way. It's endearing because it doesn't try to be correct and it's giving you the real focus of the piece without the 'I's and the 'it is because's. The momentum is more tangible. Also, some of the real poems today can be found in rap lyrics like eminem's. The puns are there, the alliteration, assonance, the RYHME, metre and onomatopoeia and the list exhausts itself. Also a penchant for rhyming doesn't necessarily make a work more inspired than a novelist's for example. So it all boils down to what you can get out of each individual peice. If it's crap, you have the right to say, "THIS IS CRAP," regardless of the material type, it's author, or it's age.
from jzablltheory :
catfish- you are just like me at 21- don't worry you'll come into your prime and be picking between men soon enough- keep your head on straight and stay in school- don't get married or pregnant and have a lot of fun...
from resrap :
right on with the early-mom sentiments. i feel tt way too. it's like, every dog has its day, and it'll be having the last laugh too.
from infinityfye :
Happy birthday on friday and good luck with guys...
from f-i-n :
very funny
from thayer-p :
nice site
from invisibledon :
thanks for adding me to your favorite list
from resrap :
Wow planning a 21st bday...I still have a whole year and a few months to go until then, though.
from infinityfye :
and that is? the thing that you stumpled upon...
from so-blonde :
interesting diary :)
from goldieknox03 :
your a funny one. good luck on the karma!
from resrap :
The karma is on the way.
from infinityfye :
The face and the hair come together??? can they be like... ordered or something?? for a birthday present I mean.
from resrap :
You know, marketing sucks. Especially sales. I was in sales before my 8-5 job and I hated it. Seriously, I don't like money. I only use it to buy the things I like.
from resrap :
I'm inspired too update on my work too.
from crateobscure :
Thanks for leaving the note. As for why you can't write like you think, it's because I've been stealing your thoughts. Sorry!
from resrap :
"She said no, unless they're ugly shoes." HAHA!
from bindyree :
Thank you for your sweet note! No fooling! :-)
from resrap :
I like your intro profile. It's very enlightened.
from resrap :
You just verbalise the things that people keep in their hearts. You're like Simon. Brave girl!
from resrap :
Oooo...nice entry. The options are interesting.
from resrap :
You know, for me, I look for guys with kind eyes and guys who freely give you their smiles. Plus I look at their chin and nose. Good chins and noses, in Asian culture, traditionally suggest a strong character.
from infinityfye :
So do you still insist that bous are stupid???:P
from resrap :
I know Peter's your bro. (laughs) And by the way, you shouldn't be taking philosophy from a girl who wanted to get married at 35. I don't now, by the way. Learning to want what I wanted all along. Does that make sense? Niway that description of yourself - that was me! Was. No longer. And my best friend told me too that I don't judge. I think because I had lax morals. Had. But don't judge lest you be judged, right?
from resrap :
But that entry was very sweet. Forgot to mention that.
from resrap :
I personally believe that it's no use getting tied down in our youth by boy-girl relationships. Go on group dates, enjoy everyone of your company, but only start dating when you seriously start to think about marriage. It's unfair to yourself and that person and all the others who can't be your friend if you are in a relationship knowing in your heart that it will be a testing-grounds kinda thing with no serious future. When you're old, you'll think, man, I should have enjoyed my youth more.
from infinityfye :
Then why seek the perfect one in stupidity?
from infinityfye :
Boys are stupid?
from infinityfye :
Don't we all... don't you just wanna smack he who made the oncept "responsibility" eeeek
from resrap :
My older sis (sugarrr on my link) read that end time entry and shouted/was upset by it. She asked, "Why do you site those things? YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IN THEM! It's WRONG!" I told her she can't tell me what to think, and that just ends the argument.
from resrap :
That reply mans alot. I'll write with renewed courage. Every person whom I spoke it to asks me the same qn, like how do we know the end times IS near? But I didn't put a date on it at all, I just sit back and watch them come to that conclusion themselves. Ironic.
from resrap :
I do. Um..cities had been destroyed by God before because all those things happen...I think...um...Sodom...I'm so afraid that when i talk about religion, ppl are going to get offended. So i just post and listen to what they say abt it instead. but if u want to know what i think i believe, i'll tell u that as well
from resrap :
Liked the last paragraph a lot. It sucks doesn't it? Altruism is dead.
from resrap :
$16 an hour? Wow. That's great, and good for you! And Integrity looks terrifying.
from serenaville :
Clicked in off your banner. I've enjoyed what I've read thus far... you have a clear, concise writing style that is refreshing. I'm adding your space to my bookmarks, for continued reading in future. Take care!
from resrap :
I know how you feel, about doing a job that's not self-centered. Maybe you can start by being a volunteer in a global or regional org, then you can see from there whether you want to be a director instead of a mere volunteer.
from resrap :
OHMIGOSH. That kiwi question. Virgin. Girlfriend over there. Brother. Fuck.
from resrap :
I read in Time mag once that our genes consist of on'off switches that cause us to behave in a certain way. Yet these switches can be turned on or off as a result of nurture. So the argument goes for nature versus nurture, like how your genes can predispose you to become homosexuals or bi. But the bottom line is, everything in this world is a matter of choice - choise of which compass you want for your life. Some people choose the scintific one, other choose money or power. Some choose the moral compass, and no matter how environment may be against them, they choose to fight in that direction because they accept that it is right. However, it is kind of hard to determine the reasons as to why they become homos - is it truly their brains and their genes, or perhaps none of these and they do it as a matter of choice? That's hard to figure out, isn't it?
from resrap :
Dilemmas of that sort are not unwelcome. On another note, I don't think homosexual relationships are natural. They should at least hear about the story of the city of Sodom before they pledge themselves to one another.
from resrap :
You sound so clever when you talk about politics. In a good way. Please continue 'cause I can benefit from the education.
from infinityfye :
Almost???? Now hat you mentiioned it that is one of the few thiings that actually made me fall in the pond of my laughter in a day like this.
from resrap :
My sis asks: How is vegetarianism beneficial?
from resrap :
Re: atheist entry. Just charming. Should come to Singapore.
from resrap :
Re: vegetarianism. It is kinda destructive, don't you think? Where do you get your proteins? The whole idea turns the food pyramid on its head! Well, you should experiment with soya. I went to the supermarket one and saw gelatin squids and other pseudo-animal products for vegetarians. But the ugly thing is, they all come in beige -you should experiment too with food colourings.
from spirit-chick :
Hey! I had to wait for my sister to buy it on DVD back in September. I was too young to see it. But I could've probably got in anyways. Byee xx
from infinityfye :
It has been said that where religion, only religion, prevails all else falls. so I guess they are not wrong to take pride in being so. RE: why near the equator?????????
from spirit-chick :
Woah, I love Shaun of the Dead.
from resrap :
Last year a few of my friends took that personality test and they swore it was true to a fault. I haven't quite bring myself to try it - if I remember correctly, it's quite long...isn't it?
from infinityfye :
Talk with someone? this is not something I could talk with anyone about... besides I didn't see it coming... I just got my brains back after the bleeding stopped.
from infinityfye :
Why do people, including me, want everything right away, or the next day...??????A generation of freakin' high speed processors ???
from resrap :
Oh yea, I see the ball. Feisty ;)
from resrap :
Is the pic of you running?
from resrap :
Yours should be: href="http://members.diaryland.com/edit/profile.phtml?user=catfish19">profile and href="http://members.diaryland.com/edit/notes.phtml?user=catfish19">
from resrap :
Your notes section and your profile section leads to my diary's. But I'm flattered anyway.
from infinityfye :
only time... I think It can be plotted on a two axes diagram the abcissa can be (WORK) and the coordiante (TIME)...
from infinityfye :
I guess I meant "squeezing"
from infinityfye :
Such are words they may say, but you do not wait to see what thoughts you left lingering in their minds, squuezing their brains at night... The openion of a forigner does matter in the states. surprisengly !
from infinityfye :
"the opinion of a foreigner could actually impact on the political views of Americans" Well It so happens that n these strange times it actually does... Re: Zombies, Originated from the babylonial undergroung myths, Baal the god of death, to punish both god of the underground (can't remember his name) and the god of war (don't even know his name) neither allowed people to descend into the underground after they die nor stay living under the influence of the war god, so he turned them to zombies. his undead worriors.
from infinityfye :
uhmm hmmm... Very powerful, may be you should have joined Kerry's campaigne ?
from auj :
holy shyte! $10+
from resrap :
I love the Bush entry. I'm going to recommend Lucian to read it. He voted for Bush.
from resrap :
Yes, it makes sense. Wow, free pathological profiling. And
from catfish19 :
Yeah. You're right. Doesn't mean I have to like it though.
from infinityfye :
Well, I am confused... but I know this; there are some things one can do for his friends, but there are other important things that one can only do it him/herself...
from infinityfye :
Well, just like resrap said... a letter, a phonecall. and they do work miracles of joy. believe me.
from resrap :
I admire your courage to stand your ground. I hope it will work out well for you and that it'll be rewarded. As for your friend, maybe you can write her a letter, starting with the one you just posted. It's sincere and it has made me see that sometimes, the only opposition we have is ourselves. Sure the world throws shitty curve-balls at oyu, but if you smile when you crack your head, it will hurt less. As for the world against her, I myself is beginning to believe that I'm not merely reacting to the world. I'm beginning to take responsibility for my own happiness.
from catfish19 :
Well, the philosophy and religious studies degree was fabulous. I hope to finish it someday, but ultimately it's not going to get me a job. If only money weren't an issue... The biomedical science was something I took on bad advice. Careers advisors told me that stuff's "the way of the future" and that I'd be better off doing that than architecture or design (my original plan), which are hard to make careers of, apparently. I did well in my classes, but they bored the hell out of me. Science is fascinating, memorising facts is not, so I quit. I had to take this year off for my travels anyway, so in theory I could pick it up again, but that's not in my immediate plans at all. I want to find something I actually love, as opposed to something I am good at and will pay well, but have no passion for (which is just about anything you can name). At this stage, my future's a big WATCH THIS SPACE. But isn't that the case for everyone?
from resrap :
Hey, that's a shame that you didn't finish your degree...do you mind if I ask you why?
from resrap :
You know, I've already planned as far as which courses I want to take in the U. But if my financial situation remains tight, I'm going to take a loan and pay it off after I work. I'm glad the government subsidises college fees heavily for PRs and residents. For a three-year degree, I'll only need around $17,000.
from resrap :
It's kind of cute that you sucked your thumb when you feel alone...I've heard of them but yuo're the first real life case study I know. Well, for me I have a smelly pillow which I used to miss so much when I happen to be away from home. Now I find that I grind my teeth when I'm asleep at unfamiliar places, or when I have a lot in my mind and just sleep it out. I think your getting drunk and letting yourself go is a result of your liberating freedom. When I lived with my Uncle and aunt for 1 year I pierced my lower lip. Yup, and when I had to got to school I inserted several invisible sticks in there to dodge the teachers. Even though I'm without it now, (apparently it's against my religion to create holes where there's none) I'm glad I tried it at that moment when I wanted it. Now I'm no longer curious nor wishful. It's ok to let go if you can deal with the consequences. We can't live our lives stagnant, right? With regards to praying, you should try not to forget it doing it even if it means doing it alone. I didn't pray for years once, and when I did, I cried like a newborn child. I'm just glad you know what you're missing. I didn't for a long time.
from resrap :
Yes you're back, and I'm glad. Sometimes the things that you can tell only a few are the things that has most meaning. Empathy is great gift.
from resrap :
Yes you can read it! After much soul-searching, I realised I was being an insecure idiot. I'm sorry I forgot about you! I was very, very busy with school. Insanely busy. That's why I was feeling insecure. It's not too late to grow up, rite? :)
from catfish19 :
resrap, what's going on? let me read your diary!
from resrap :
So r u going to be Catfish20 from now? I'm sorry you had to celebrate ur bday with horses and a useless stranger. I hope things go better for you.
from resrap :
Happy Birthday Catfish! (sings) Happy birthday to yoouu, happy birthday to yoouu. Happy 20th birthday to Catfish, happie birthdaeee toooo YOooooouuuuU!
from infinityfye :
happy birthday... its thursday today. lol sorry you had to be with horses and a person you... uh... i'll have to think of a powerfull word... later...
from infinityfye :
not the peeing part of course
from infinityfye :
lol "and pee", that really would be weired... but its a lovable thought.
from resrap :
It's one of my daydreaming whims. With money, I can indulge it. And I'm going to work hard, starting with the Maths and Econs retests I have DURING the holiday. I'm just afraid I'll be laughing my ass off when I meet you guys. And cry. And pee.
from catfish19 :
Hm. That'd be wierd.
from resrap :
Maybe when I am working, and able to provide, I'll travel the world to meet Catfish, Lucian, and Infinityfye. Then we can have a big, merry diaryland get-together!! Yea!
from resrap :
Yup. Sometimes I feel like I can share much more with total strangers than my own family. But my family knows much more about me and my character more than total strangers, that's 4 sure.
from infinityfye :
maybe thats why you come here and write about it... and I get the best part... Reading your writings.
from catfish19 :
Back, yes! But who knows how long for. Life is hectic.
from resrap :
Infinite: ur not stupid. the "sometimes i just go like "BUUUH" " is actually kind of funny. I'm leaving a note here btw cos I know u'll be reading this. Yea! My fav. catfish is back!
from catfish19 :
Well, you just said it, didn't you? And even if I don't appear to make sense, I do to me, and that's all that really matters. I'm writing a diary, not an autobiography. And even that contradicts myself, because I regularly judge the diaries of others as though they were pieces of writing I am meant to review. And, for the record, life and death are not opposites. Birth and death are. Life just comes in between. Thanks for letting me know you enjoy reading my diary, that makes my day. So I guess I'm not just writing for me. I'll stop now.
from infinityfye :
Well I have nothing to say for an answer that is well...coherent, as; "I'm inconsistent. Consistently." and I'm not that stupid by the way, for life in itself is a major contradiction, so why not people; life and death. or is it continuity, both sides of a single equation... But still i wish the world is going the right way for you.
from resrap :
I think the world is going in the right direction when guys endear themselves to you by admitting right off the bat that they are stupid.
from catfish19 :
Hm. I must just be a confused person. I guess it's just different me, different day, y'know? I think when I said I was an attention junkie, it was more that I like being noticed and I like people paying attention to me than that I'm an extrovert who goes out of my way to get the attention. Does that make any sense? I think not.
from infinityfye :
Oh and I hope you have the most joyfull journey.
from infinityfye :
Well before you even begin to think anything of what I am gonna say just know that i am a big fan of your diary. Its gripping, once I start reading I stick... I can't stop. Maybe you should write a gillion entries at a time; so I can read till I drop. Now what I just wanted to say is... Well... The thing is I'm stupid... sometimes i just go like "BUUUH" so i just want a little help to understand this; you said on your entry on 22/5 "I'm a fucking attention junkie. It's a high. I want all guys to love me. I want the girls to hate me, cos the guys love me so much." But then on 24/5 you said "When people begin talking over the top of each other, I switch off and just blend into the background. I even stop listening." omg... where did the attention junkie go?... well that is until your crazy self was brought again when you had your break with the other crazy loud gal you work with????? It's probably I'm just too stupid to understand....
from catfish19 :
Aww... thanks. I definitely hope I have time to keep going with the diary while I'm away! I love keeping it. Nice to know someone likes reading it.
from resrap :
Re: Shitty enrty. It was not, honest. I hope they have Internet down in Detroit. I wish to continue reading what you have to write. Anyway, wish you good luck and safe journey for your future travelling.
from invisibledon :
Thanks for doing my noreally survey
from resrap :
Check out the emoticons on the net. They're great. But I'm a bit afraid of them. They're patronizing.
from catfish19 :
Was too.
from resrap :
It was not a shitty piece of writing.
from resrap :
I beg U to resist the urge to gag. It's addictive to automation. If I find tt U still hold UR throat hostage, I'm goin to send an e-virus tt'll take UR fingers. OK?
from b0b0 :
thank you very much for taking my survey!
from resrap :
tx for adding me! Your narration is so..voluptuous. Nak, tt's the onlt way i can describe it. Update and my eyes shall be yours.
from catfish19 :
Well, not really. I mean, if you're just writing for yourself, then feel free to not write properly. But doesn't it piss you off when you're trying to read something which could be real good but actually just doesn't make any sense at all?
from infinityfye :
well, is a diary really about grammar???

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