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The Muffin Chronicles

75% of my identity and life center around being a criminal prosecutor. Im probably not paid what Im worth, but I come home with a clean conscience and can look at myself in the mirror knowing I fight the good fight. And thus, I also have the best stories to tell at the kegger. The other 25% involves debauchery, gambling, drinking, smoking, cussing, the never ending proclamation that I will join a gym and tone up, my dogs, my nemesis (my pool), my mother, bar fights, my insane friends, my latest trip to the emergency room, etc. All in all, a pretty damn good life. Oh, and the picture of Jodie Foster on my profile page? People say I remind them of her. A girl can dream, right?



My favorite diaries:

hissandtell    profile - diary
comments:  What a vocabulary this broad has.
hydrogeek    profile - diary
comments:  Who says farming isn't chic?
discothekid    profile - diary
comments:  The best writer on Diaryland. It's like a novel you can't wait to get home and read.
kristintracy    profile - diary
comments:  When ballerina's go bad.
siouxzqueue    profile - diary
hollyfae    profile - diary
comments:  Just because it's free doesn't mean it's bad
joiedv    profile - diary
xat    profile - diary
comments:  snake charmer and paper folder Aficionado
sunshine0221    profile - diary
comments:  The best sense of humor about everyday crap.
luvabeans    profile - diary
comments:  Dammit. Id go back to ask the stylist to fix this awful monstrosity, but I've already literally wiped my ass on the receipt from the salon.
nynaeve16    profile - diary
comments:  http://nynaeve16.diaryland.com/index.html
dooki    profile - diary
comments:  She is pissed off and she hates your dumb ass.
ann-frank    profile - diary
idiot-milk    profile - diary
porktornado    profile - diary
comments:  Dusty. The reason I came to Diaryland.
dangerspouse    profile - diary
hooterville    profile - diary
smartypants    profile - diary
heidiann    profile - diary
comments:  Damnit this woman is funny.
lv2write00    profile - diary
poolagirl    profile - diary
comments:  Baddest pirate in town
haloaskew    profile - diary
teacherlady2    profile - diary
comments:  All that and does cool beading
sixweasels    profile - diary
comments:  I, on the other hand, am a borderline ghetto-dwelling, domestically challenged, liberal douche, not-spectacularly-good-at-one-damn-thing asshole.
artgnome    profile - diary
comments:  Super cool mom with tattoos.
awittykitty    profile - diary
comments:  Makes the everyday mundane insanely entertaining.
wickedcrazy    profile - diary
comments:  And to think I had some crazy shit to report; this girl has me beat.
artisthussy    profile - diary
comments:  Funny attitude about the everyday mundane.
pummela    profile - diary
comments:  Props to the diabetics.
adaveen    profile - diary
comments:  So this week in my dumbass life I have managed to accomplish absolutely nothing
curiouoso    profile - diary
kitty-kaboom    profile - diary
comments:  Because I have a crush on her friend and anxiously await more photos.

My favorite music:

My favorite movies:

Sunset Boulevard
comments:  "Max! Tell Mr. Demill I am ready for my close up".
Napolean Dynamite
comments:  Gaaaawd. Idiot !
The Twilight Zone
comments:  The entire series on DVD. The old ones, not the crappy new ones.
Coal Miner's Daughter
comments:  I will stop whatever I am doing and watch this movie again and again. "Doo, you a soundin like an ole bear".

My favorite authors:

David Sedaris
comments:  naked
David Sedaris
comments:  Barrell Fever
David Sedaris
comments:  Holidays on Ice
John Irving
comments:  Cider House Rules. The movie is a complete disaster and insult to the book.
Lynda Barry
comments:  Anything by this woman rocks my world.

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last updated: 2007-06-29 20:14:31
this user's total entries: 286
user since: 2004-12-03

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