messages to karmicenigma:
(click here to add new message):

from hydrogeek :
I've been wondering where you are these days! If you're updating somewhere else, I'd love to know where. I'm hydrogeek at gmail if you don't want to leave it in my comments. Good to hear even a little update!
from pantrypuff :
By the way, this is AndreeB at my new address...
from pantrypuff :
I was so excited to see that you updated, even if it was short!!
from girlof78 :
Best of luck if you choose to seek a professional for advice. I'm sure it'll be a positive experience.
from curejeff :
my georgia really wants kids too, i have to keep assuring her that we can in a couple years but that it doesn't make sense to while we're both in law school... but we can't wait, really!
from girlof78 :
Just sending you a virtual (((HUG))) *wink* ;o)
from lovelylibra :
ah, google. :)
from lustydork :
You have no idea how good it feels knowing that I'm not the only person that searches the name of former males like that.
from knock-first :
happy birthday-still check in here sometimes- got a real job- busy-see you met my sister (happyrainy)good! take care!
from hydrogeek :
Nothing is better than Yoshimi. Rock on.
from warmslippers :
I have a Ford Fuckus. It's tin foil on wheels, but reliable. Hope you are not being affected by the hurricane. I have been worried...
from hydrogeek :
Ford Focus has made consumer report's best buy list for several years running. A friend of mine bought one and LOVES it. Glad you got it!
from andreeb :
"They say whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Sometimes I wish it would just kill me instead." You're telling me!
from andreeb :
Dealerships are retarded. They ALWAYS drag your ass through the ringer, even when they know you can't pay. They figure you'll sell a kidney or something. Losers.
from andreeb :
Thanks so much for saying that, it's really sweet. However, I give my insanity most of the credit. Being crazy makes the absurd seem manageable...
from curejeff :
also with new cars, you can usually finance them for six years, which brings your monthly payment down. combine that with a lower interest rate and you might find new is as good as used. or do like i did and buy a car that was 'barely' used, i.e. 7,000 miles (and cost several thousand less than brand new), but still considered new by the bank. banks typically consider any car that has less than 15k miles 'new,' giving you the better financing rates.
from andreeb :
Thanks :) I'm OK. I'm as shocked as you are about everything. Dylan is at St. David's, so we've been over there as much as possible.
from curejeff :
i feel exactly the same about New Orleans, and couldn't have expressed it better if i tried. i'm nearly as sad as i was after 9/11.
from lustydork :
I feel the financial pain. I just moved and used up all the money I saved for a better car, so I'm stuck with my Tempo for a lot longer. I actually ran out of money about a week ago and now I'm living off the credit cards. Its not the best place, but I started a new job last week that is not horrible, so maybe I'll fix things. Its probably not going to happen. We're all just financially fucked americans these days anyway.
from curejeff :
wow, chris sounds like an amazing guy. hold on to that one!
from soulstealer :
Locked my diary. I don't know if it worked and i gave u a passwerd but.... Let me know if it worked please. Cannot let anyone see. SSSSHHHHH
from soulstealer :
no unless he is a homo.
from andreeb :
I don't think so. Not unless he's gay.
from curejeff :
thanks. i can always count on you for some good advice!
from curejeff :
hey, hope you're doing good! i was wondering if you wouldn't mind looking at my last entry and let me know what you think. i could use some wisdom.. i'm always effing things up a bit, you know...
from andreeb :
Yeah, those indian blankets are only good on top of a sheet or something. Your grandma's blanket sounds wonderful :)
from andreeb :
Totally makes sense.
from curejeff :
are you a gemini?
from curejeff :
you must know that it's not your fault that your mother is incapable of finding a decent, stable person to be with. she obviously has unresolved relationship issues and seems incapable of seeking out people who will respect her, themselves, or you. by the way i've jumped on the myspace bandwagon myself, where i just added you as a friend, so i think you should be getting a message about it or something...
from girlof78 :
Isnít it ironic how life works sometimes? Those two children seem as though they have the potential to be wonderful adults if given the proper guidance. The good thing is that they have you, even if for a little while; at the very least theyíll grow up to understand that life doesnít have to be chaotic it can be beautiful. I donít know your personal situation but stay strong this is a day to day struggle. With meds or not itís difficult and it takes its toll on our emotional/physical self. Just remember that there are a lot of ways to achieve what you are looking for. In the meantime itís okay to grieve, Iím here for you.
from hydrogeek :
You sound discouraged about having kids. Try to keep your chin up. I've been trying for 2 years, I know it's tough. Go see a dr, read about basal body temps, there are LOTS of pretty simple things you can try that are not expensive or hard. It's my dream too, to be a mom. I don't think we would have this strong a desire if it weren't meant to be.
from andreeb :
People who judge your desire to have kids are just small-minded and ignorant. I never wanted kids. My first son was a pure accident. But the minute the kid was in me, everything changed. And you're right when you say you can't have it all. You can't. I don't. Every day I leave for work, I'm losing something. Unfortunately, as I'm the only one who works full time in this house, I have no choice. But don't let the naysayers make you doubt yourself. They're overintellectualizing. Just wait until one of them ends up pregnant. Their song will change very fast.
from andreeb :
Does this mean you're leaving D-land? Love your pic on MySpace. What does it mean when you say you're pretending to be an investigative journalist -- that sounds like me!
from andreeb :
I love bullfrogs!
from curejeff :
thanks for the advice. i clearly see that i overreacted and that this subject, in particular, is an actual neurosis of mine. she did nothing wrong and, in fact, was merely concerned that her clinically depressed ex wouldn't commit suicide; and that compassion and basic goodness is what i love about her in the first place!
from curejeff :
hope you had fun shopping! yep. lotta glee happenin'. i'm sure your haircut does look great--and i've always liked kinda short hair on girls. ga's is slightly above her shoulders, and is adorable!
from soulstealer :
i don't know if this is such a good idea. spy atleast my friend, trust me.
from andreeb :
Well, don't keep us in suspense!! What happened?
from curejeff :
hey, thanks for the good advice. i've read that it's good to go slow w/ them. but she does come down to my house any chance she gets without my really asking her. so. maybe just our not sleeping together for a little while might do the trick. but i'm not sure i see us not doing that soon. such is life. i know i'm not that typical of a virgo, although i have many of the traits, and she's not the usual gemini in a lot of ways. actually, three of her four parents are virgos, and i think that has something to do with our compatibility. but. we'll see. thanks for your note!! btw i read your every update. like you, just too lazy to comment most of the time!
from solstice36 :
yeah, sorry about that whole locked thing. i just got this creepy feeling that my past is out there for the whole world to see. i'm not sure why so many years later that would bug me. i havent updated. also i'm working on moving to a diffrent place, a blog that allows photos, and it's free. i think i've changed a lot since i started writing here and it's been kind of hard to keep going so i thought i'd start over fresh. i'll let you know when it's up and running. at least i'll know one person is reading :-)
from lostmystic76 :
Well glad to hear the move went well. I know exactly what you mean...I'm looking forward to moving this June, but at the same time, OMG - just the thought of dealing with all that shit makes me sleepy - lol.
from solstice36 :
i just typed this really long message into your guestbook only to discover that it doesnt work. gah!! anyways, i think you have every right to snoop around her journal, trust is a tricky tricky thing. and the way that entry read to me was that she was being reunited with a long lost love, and not taking into consideration that he's MARRIED is pretty disrespectful. even to him. if it was truly friendship and only friendship she wanted and nothing more then any "attraction" that she may feel should not have been brought up. you know your husband, and you know how much you can trust him. it's her i wouldnt trust. snoop away my dear.
from rotted :
believe me when i say this... i would read it each and every day too. i wouldn't be feeling bad about it either because it's on the internet for everyone and their dog to read.
from andreeb :
I'm sure Chris would understand if you talked to him about it. He may be waiting for you to say something. He might even like the idea of your being protective.
from andreeb :
Oh, and just so you know why I'm always suspicious: my dad had an affair with and married my mother's best friend. Some women don't give a shit whether they know you or not. That's why I don't think the hanging out with them does much. You justgettowatch your husband entertain fantasies with another woman. Much fun...:) And thanks for letting me be so honest. I thought you might get mad, but I figured, What the hell?
from andreeb :
Todd and I actually talked about your situation and pretty much got annoyed at each other over the discussion :)) But my feeling was, if you wanna meet up with an old flame for lunch, be my guest. Drinks? Never. Unless I was there and honestly -- would I really want to be there??? To me, the problem with drinks is chemistry. They had it before, they probably would still have it. Throw alcohol into the scene and forget it. Lord knows what would happen. The thing is, I don't think we can let them or not let them go. Beucase if we throw a fit, they'll probably get all pissed and do it anyway. I think it's just more a matter of having an very honest conversation. My main question to Todd would be, why do you want to continue hanging out with this chick? What do you have to gain? Do you really need another friend in your life? Or are you just keeping your options open because you are wonderingif the grass is greener? Todd might make the argument of "Well, she's a nice person and I want to be her friend." And my arguement would be, "Why do you want to be her friend when you know I'm uncomfortable with it? Would her friendship really add that much to your life? Or is this 'friendship' just a way for you to get your ego stroked by knowing she wants you?" Of course, this all sounds great. I'd probably beat him into the ground before I got the first words out. But in theory, that's what I'd do. I'm not saying Chris has feelings for this chick or anything. But it's his response to her "what if we still have feelings?" question that worries me. Whether he intended to or not, he left the door open for her. And men are stupid. They can't see what's right in front of their faces sometimes.
from andreeb :
He's not hanging out with an old friend. He's hanging out with an old love interest. One who clearly still has feelings for him. I mean, that question about: Oh what if we still have feelings for each other? Please. She's just testing the water. She DOES like him in that way. She just wants to know if there's a chance in pursuing it. And his answer probably gave her more hope than not. Remember, though Chris obviously adores you, you two also have baggage, like any married couple. And there she is, full of unfulfilled promise and spark. She thinks he's wooonnnnderful. She would nnevvvveeerrr take him for granted. You get the picture. Chemistry is chemistry. They've obviously still got it. I would love to say, Oh don't worry, it's all cool. But life has a way with fucking with us. I would be very careful.
from rotted :
one more thing... maybe you should meet her. maybe you should make your presence known visually... it's a lot harded to screw someone over when you've met the significant other that would be ruined in the whole process. just a thought...
from rotted :
friendster sucks... now you should go ahead and join myspace.com ~~~ my space is much better.
from andreeb :
"But the truth is, once you become an adult, nobody really gives a damn" Boy, that's the truth.
from andreeb :
So funny you wrote me! I tried to leave you a message on your guestbook today and it wouldn't let me because you haven't paid your $1.99. SHAME ON YOU! I said I am happy you're writing a little more again. As for the PopTarts, I have always been a little afraid of cinnamon, I don't know why. I have a problem.
from andreeb :
Oh, I really hope it works!!
from andreeb :
I stand by, ready and willing to report your wishes and claim my Pulitzer! It's so weird to think you live in Austin and could actually be reading my stuff in the Statesman...
from ghostofgor :
please contact me in regards to rachel26280. I am a friend of hers, and fear she may have died. I am serious.
from andreeb :
That's funny :)) Never fear, it was not anyone who reads me that I'm talking about. At least I don't think so. And I probably shouldn't have written that evil entry anyway, as it freaked some people out, but I'm premenstrual, so all bets are off :)
from curejeff :
my huskey and i are both cute. scratch that--she's cute, i'm dashingly handsome! :)
from curejeff :
i have a beautiful black and white (and very sweet and affectionate) siberian huskey, you know, ice-blue eyes and all.
from haloaskew :
Pikes Peak in Colorado Springs did it for me back in '96. But *sigh* that was a long time ago. Right after I lost a job. Damn good road trip though. Hmmm. I haven't been able to take a "real" vacation in so long I can barely handle the thought...I'd still love to visit Ireland and Scotland, but US-wise, I need to get my ass to North Carolina already. Blue Ridge Parkway, fall foliage, cabin in the woods with a roaring fire. Yep, that sounds pretty damn good right about now.
from andreeb :
Oh hell, I dress like that all the time :)
from andreeb :
Oh hell, I dress like that all the time :)
from curejeff :
oh, i think it's just adorable. tacky, yet adorable!
from warmslippers :
ok honey. Reunion.com will always say that someone is looking for you. That is their advertising ploy. Don't be like me! Save your money for that road trip!
from soulstealer :
I feel your frusteration girl and until today it's been a long time since I cried real tears-thankyou. If it makes you feel any better it ain't any better over here in hooker land. Read me today u may feel better.
from andreeb :
Guess what I saw this week? Fire in the sky! Great movie. I adore Henry Thomas (event hough he only said 3 words in this movie). And DB Sweeny is such a cutie...
from knock-first :
gees still dont know why we havent gotten together- nics band (my husband) had its CD release party last saturday at Antones- forgot to invite you! that sucks- it was a great show! http://theillustratedband.com/ Take care!
from curejeff :
i think i could probably not tell if they were in your mouth and i think you don't necessarily have to put them in glasses beside your bed. there's some regulation on that i believe, you have to be a certain age, much the same as moving to Florida when you reach your 60's.
from curejeff :
i guess if they were in a glass of water by your bed i would. but. but if i sounded (probably) like a jerk in my last comment. didn't meant to, sorry.
from curejeff :
Well, for what it's worth, fake teeth really gross me out. Granted, I am a shallow bastard and all, but still...
from andreeb :
We put it on our Netfix list...
from andreeb :
I believe! I love aliens! I think I'll rent that movie you're talking about...
from andreeb :
You're right. I won't take it personally. I definitely won't stalk them and burn down their house and steal their pets and their ice cream, if THAT'S what you were thinking. Hmmmmm...
from lostmystic76 :
Nope - never heard of them...I'll have to check them out. Since you're not too big into Metal you might like Killswitch Engage and In Flames...try checking out some of the Swedish bands....it's more music and less screaming - lol!!!
from andreeb :
You are a strong and compassionate advocate for the underdog. Ashlee should send you a thank you note :)
from lostmystic76 :
Hahahaha!!! I can't believe you could hear that guy snoring!! What apartments are you in? I'll make sure to stay clear of those!!! Anyway, I'm in North Austin at the AMLI at Walnut Creek complex. They're not too far from downtown, and they have some really good specials going on right now - you should check em out. I just scored a 2b/2b with a sunroom and patio (almost 1400sf) for only $836 a month!!!
from andreeb :
Oooohhhh, sorry about the back. Hope you feel better.
from andreeb :
It's totally weird having a beautiful and talented female interact with your guy. I would have been weirded out, too. It's good that you're understanding though. Some people would freak and ban him from seeing her ever again.
from chickenabuse :
thanks for the note. im really close to getting another computer. good luck with the baby making. oh, and if you really feel uncomfortable with your Louis Vuitton I would be more than happy to take care of it for you! ;)
from rotted :
hmmmm... there doesn't seem to be any way to find bliss unless one is truly ignorant. it's true that it's always the dumb assholes who are the happiest... running around with shit-eating grins on their collective blurred together faces. embrace your meloncholy and enjoy your intellect... smile because you know so much that others do not... or don't. (just a brain fart... i have those a lot)
from keilakeren :
Is there anywhere else we could chat? I only have MSN Messenger. 8o( The Fertility bracelets sound like a great idea, look forward to seeing them on ebay. *Good Luck*
from pashiesplace :
The best piece of advice that I can give you is that in my experience, the things that I worried most about ended up being truly no big deal.You spend 9 months panicing at the thought of things & there is just no way that they can ever be as bad as you've built them up to be in your head.I don't think anything can really prepare you for that first week of motherhood. the good thing is you learn fast!
from pashiesplace :
I don't think you're ever REALLY ready. I was 28 when I got pregnant the first time, totally not ready but adjusted quickly. Second baby was planned at 31. Planned, plotted, anticipated, I KNEW I was pregnant, took the test and had the same panic I felt with my first. Something so life altering causes panic & butterflies each & every time.
from andreeb :
Ahahahahahaaa. He's taking advantage. Smart guy!! Huts is a great place. I need to go there again soon.
from andreeb :
Man, it DOES suck to be sick. But I'm better now. Meanwhile, I am amazed how disturbed people are by the whole Brad/Jen thing. Not boo-hoo sad, just disheartened. I thought it was just me...
from curejeff :
well, we all have to believe in something, might as well be jennifer and brad. although it appears i was completely wrong and they really are splitting up. supermarket tabloids just aren't as reliable as they used to be!
from hydrogeek :
The fact that you're considering in that carefully bodes well. Everybody I've talked to says you freak out more when deciding to get pregnant than you do after you actually get pregnant. Good luck to you!
from rachel26280 :
And what exactly is wrong with being a cynical smartass? I find that being one gets me through most days... It's just part of who I am... And apparently part of who you are. It's a comfort in some ways and I wouldn't change my cynical/Pessimistic attitude for anything... Besides, don't tell anyone, but I sometimes use that aspect of my personality as a coverup for other things... And I see nothing wrong with that.
from soulstealer :
i am back
from curejeff :
i read in the checkout line at evil walmart last night that they're back together and going to have babies. so no worries.
from keilakeren :
I always love coming to you and I enjoy your journal. We think alike in many aspects and I love your entry for January 06, 2005. I wish I could sit and talk to you more about all of this but I'm on my way out. Perhaps we could get together in a messenger and chat? I'd love to talk to you about your empathic gift I understand where you are coming from so well. Your thoughts on religion are very similar to my own. I grew up with a religious Christian background and I have so much of itís faith but I too am seeking spiritual growth & knowledge beyond what I was taught as a child. The story of your grandmother and her beliefs I really enjoyed, for some reason I wish I would have known her. There are not too many people in my life that know my gifts or would even admit that they exist, it's nice to know that there is someone else out there viewing life a little different. ~Perhaps we could meet in the astral one of these days? 8o) Your friend, Kat
from andreeb :
We had a 10 year reunion and I wasn't even invited! If we had a 15, I don't even know about it. BASTARDS! I want to gloat.
from curejeff :
wow, i REALLY relate to your last entry....
from andreeb :
Thanks :) It's really neat. I know I won't win. I mean, I'm sure of it. But in my weaker moments, I fantasize about spamming all my ex boyfriends with my "winners" announcement. hehehehehe...
from rachel26280 :
And I like you despite the fact that you aren't a Pepsi Drinker.... Heh..... Anyway, I'm glad that you like my diary, I enjoy yours too.
from surfinbyrd :
OH MY GOD I KNOW!
from lovelylibra :
Garden State is great... you should definitely see it soon. And also, if you haven't already, rent Supersize Me! It will definitely stop you from eating Sonic and fast food if you really want to start eating healthier... I'm struggling with the same thing, and man, it's rough isn't it? It's like breaking a drug addiction....
from andreeb :
You can do it!!!! Keep it up! And, you know what? Fuck it if you can't. Toxins my butt. Just breathing gives you toxins.
from pashiesplace :
Hi! Found you thru Andrea & I can't wait to read more!
from andreeb :
You know, this is the second time today I've heard about that master cleanse thing. Let me know how it goes...
from andreeb :
Happy new year!
from andreeb :
All hail Jerry :)
from andreeb :
Congratulations! All is good. And as fo the Virgin Mary? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
from andreeb :
Oh my.
from andreeb :
I've got my fingers crossed for you. This must be a very surreal experience and I'm sorry you're going through it.
from andreeb :
Thank you so much for your note. You made my day. Josh, on the other hand, is trying to destroy it. Sigh...
from andreeb :
Glad you're feeling better. Those hormones can be a real bitch :))
from omnipre5ence :
That's more like it. :)
from keilakeren :
Girl I know too well where you're coming from and the guilty feelings that linger sometimes making the feelings worse wouldnít you agree? Glad to read that itís happening less and less, recovering close to one day is fantastic!! I know that for me itís happening less and less as well, heck Iím even enrolled in school once again. But when I crash it still takes me a few to recover. Let it ride its course because I donít think thereís any other way for us but what you can control is how you perceive it and youíre on the right track already. Head up girl you rock! Kat
from omnipre5ence :
I think I like Octagons better.
from omnipre5ence :
S'pose so...but I do it in a mysterious way. :P
from omnipre5ence :
Talk about myself.
from omnipre5ence :
Oh. I don't do that kind of thing.
from omnipre5ence :
About me..?
from andreeb :
Hope you're feeling OK. How long do these episodes last? I'm a "medi" myself, do I don't get them anymore...
from omnipre5ence :
What about holidays? Do you get some of those eventually?
from lovelylibra :
Ah, sleep! I feel ya with the insomnia stuff... I'm perpetually exhausted these days! Enjoy it, and drink some "Sleppytime" tea while you're at it... one of my favorite things.
from andreeb :
Yay, sleep! Congratulations! I remember when I first had my son and was hugely sleep deprived. I actually started hearing voices. Very freaky.
from curejeff :
oh, things are fine. That was just how I was feeling at that moment in time after suffering badly from insomnia and, hey, it was a monday afterall!
from curejeff :
yeah, i haven't seen a movie in the theater since 'the return of the king' came out. i LOVED 'before sunrise' !!! didn't a sequel come out a little while back? did you see it?
from brokenkarma :
Iíve been away from my journal for a while but I wanted to stop by and let you know youíre in my thoughts. What an experience you had, Iím so sorry you had to go thru it. However, I am glad that your situation is benign, nonetheless youíre in your total right to be jittered. Youíre in my thoughts and Iím sending you positive vibes!! Hoping everything goes well. You know it will! With love, Snow
from chickenabuse :
I am so relieved for you that it is benign. I'm sure once you have a chance to sit down and discuss your options you will be able to make the best decision. Congratulations, I'm so happy for you.
from andreeb :
Congratulations!!! The girls are safe!! By the way, my Prince Charming is losing his hair too. He blames me for this.
from curejeff :
i've very happy for you that it was benign, that's wonderful news!!
from andreeb :
You will rise to the top quickly, I have no doubt :)
from chickenabuse :
I do that all the time. But it's almost always about changing all the things I regret. Doing things the way, I now know, they should have been done. A little midnight torture.
from andreeb :
I do that fantasy thing too -- been doing it forever. Mine usually involves singing at a concert in front of men who have dumped me or winning the Pulitzer and giving a speech at my old college. Since neither is likely to happen, my fantasies are safe and secure...
from andreeb :
I'm sorry to read about your aunt. My thoughts are with you.
from curejeff :
No dear, i'm 32. in age anyway! (emotionally i'm maybe 17.) you have to go tomorrow, everything is going to be okay!
from andreeb :
So sorry to hear about your worries. I'm sure it will be fine, but good to check it out.
from curejeff :
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers this week.
from chickenabuse :
You'll be in my prayers. Hopefully it's nothing.
from surfinbyrd :
i like you. you're neat. i had a good time reading about you and i got some neat ideas for my own site. do you love it? i love it.
from keilakeren :
Happy Thanksgiving hope your day is going much better then before. Thinking of you 8o) Hugs, Kat
from brokenkarma :
Hi girl, thanks for sharing your situation with me, I must admit it brings comfort when others identify. Itís amazing the disfuction parents can bring into ones own life isnít it? I know I said Iíd rather not be added in one of my entries, but thatís okay I would be honored if you did. I love reading you thoughts, I appreciate you.
from soulstealer :
My boyfriend gets very pissed at me for overthinking things and often jumping to conclusions. Weird how the two seem opposite. I know how you feel though about analyzing everything until your spun right tight and reasy to spazz. I too am guilty of these things. We are alike.
from lovelylibra :
I just read your note from just after Election Day and from my birthday. Thank you so much for the kind words and support! Have no fear... though the outcome of 11/2 is depressing, revolting, mind-numbing, shocking, and way too many other inappropriate adjectives, we'll be back. I've been going through the various stages -- shock, denial, sadness, depression, anger, to name a few -- and soon I'll be to the inspired stage once again. We'll get rid of these bastards one day, and I'll be leading the fight for all those causes you mentioned and more. I can't afford not to. None of us can, really! In the mean time, I continue to exist in a self-imposed news blackout, and will be trying to remember what normal people do with their lives so that I can copy them for a while! ;o) Thanks again for the support. It means a lot.
from keilakeren :
The way you describe your old town sounds like the way I feel when I head down to San Diego. I too am glad I got out of there, however every time I go I too become nostalgic. As if there was this vibe of old memories just waiting to pounce on us the minute we hit the city limits. So youíre restless, huh?! I change my layout when Iím restless, hehe. Oww Pamela? Do we get to see? 8oD Iíd never dyed my hair but a few highlights here and there, Iím too chicken. Besides my hair is so black I couldnít imagine myself with any other color. Take Care Sending You Hugs!! Keila
from chickenabuse :
Going back a few entries, a friend of mine saw a thing on tv talking about the strange happenings of 911. It's not that the whole plane was missing, just huge chunks of it are "missing". As for the other one being shot down... I just don't know. Money can buy just about anything. We may never really know. Although it was the only plane to be stopped and it was the only plane heading towards the White House
from curejeff :
unlike child of gaea, i'm somewhat afraid of writing down my life goals. it's really just superstition. just like i won't buy a shirt or anything that has my law school's name on it. but i'm just strange. hey, chris's job sounds pretty kick-ass, i mean all that stuff he's been given has got to be pretty cool, and who couldn't use a good drill? haha. i hope you are doin' great. sounds like it.
from childofgaea :
hey karmicenigma. this is shing. I love reading your life goals. made one myself not so long ago. Maybe I'll put them up in my journal soon too... cool.
from mcclain :
I work at a paper, and I can promise you that Iíve never heard either thing you wrote about. I saw pictures and live feeds from the Pentagon, and it was a plane. I donít know how anyone can saw it couldnít be found; it made a giant hole in the side of the building. People saw it fly over and hit, same as the Towers. Also, they played the tapes from the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania for the press and families (I didnít hear it, of course) and all reports indicate that there was a struggle on board. Family members also recalled phone calls from people on board, and say they were planning to fight. Remember ďLetís RollĒ? Thatís the last thing a guyís wife heard him say before they went after the hijackers. I really donít think we even could have shot it down, the way things went that day. I think your co-workers are spreading conspiracy theories and rumors, which is pretty reckless. Not that it isnít all possible, of course, but I donít believe it for a second.
from chickenabuse :
I'm with you. At this point I'm scared to death of what's going to happen to this country. More so now that Bush has the majority in congress. I just can't see all the Bush haters standing around and letting this go. But Bush did win the majority this time and I suppose that says something for the arguement the Bush was never really elected.
from keilakeren :
Your entry was too funny for words, but you know whatís interesting? I too have woken up within the last week or so really ache (back and neck) very sore. Like Iíve been working out or like you said: Kung Fu Fighting. LOL Hope youíre feeling better. 8o)
from rachel26280 :
I did that "Common Threads" thing, just thought you'd like to know.
from curejeff :
She is not going to b/c she's afraid of what he might do in retribution, plus she thinks that by not doing anything she can just put it behind her and move on. In any case, I just can't push her to do something in this fragile state she's in. I think time will find that she's wrong about just being able to move on and it's going to manifest itself in various unhealthy ways. All I can do is be there for her I guess. I'm sending her some flowers as we speak. Too bad this fucker's not in my town. I have several cops that are clients--good ol' dirty cops who would just love to beat the shit out of a rapist for me. He's not going to get out of this scott free. I promise you that!
from warmslippers :
If you find that goddamed elusive bill paying fairy, please send his/her ass my way as soon as possible.
from knock-first :
I should have read your journal first. On the forgiveness entry I have had that same experience with only the circumstances being slightly different. Point is when people ask me now why I believe in God I can't really explain it. How do you explain that life changing experience where dispair and blackness are changed with one prayer, filling your spirit with healing and hope. I know I could write it. But I am not good with words when speaking. And I have wanted badly for people to understand this. Perhaps I will write my story a bit. Though it is painful. Thanks for sharing. I am still sorry we never met.
from knock-first :
that is really nice to hear thanks!
from keilakeren :
That is perhaps one of the most beautiful entries Iíve seen anyone write in a while. I can honestly say I understand what youíve been through and what you cherish now. I now wholeheartedly believe you canít be thankful for the small things in life, if there isnít true grief to compare it too. Thank you for sharing your private views and the compilation of your inspiring words. ~Love your DL Friend, Keila
from chickenabuse :
That was beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad you made it out of the hole to see real daylight.
from curejeff :
thanks for your note. i think it's funny what you've been writing about lately. i will definitely have them run a tox-screen on you after you go! hehe. i'm feeling like a hypochondriac also w/ the lesion thing. i guess i'll find out this week. but the odds appear to be extremely low. of course, that's never stopped me before!! but i'm not too worried. i just don't have time to be!!
from keilakeren :
A baby diaper changing station?? *lol* what was that all about? Men! 8op
from soulstealer :
I hope that you allways write here.
from keilakeren :
You know what concerns me the most? Is that people are quick to pass it off as a hoax or an urban legend and actually get upset that someone brought it up. Can you believe that?? I understand that its human nature to reject what we donít know or what scares us but I would hope that people would analyze the situation BEFORE they came to their conclusions. If itís a hoax or not, I rather be aware of it so that it doesnít catch me off guard then blind myself to the possibility and be taken by surprise. Iím glad you and your hubby took interest, I value your opinions and if you would have passed it off as a mere hoax I would have been worried.
from keilakeren :
You would be surprised at the magnitude of vegan products out there; itís definitely one of the healthiest lifestyles as itís composed of only what mother earth has to offer. Thatís why Iím a vegetarian, havenít decided on becoming a full vegan. Being a vegetarian has suited me fine for the last four years and I donít plan to ever go back to eating meat. I might not be vegan but I do stay away from animal items such as leather or anything tested on animals Ďthat Iím aware ofí. I do agree with you on the fact that cows produce milk and that milk must be extracted, thus we get milk. But the problem lies in the way the cows are abused to extract that milk, same with chickens. They took something precious in nature and turned it into a freak show for the sake of money. Thus I do not eat eggs either. For those that canít live on a vegan diet a vegetarian lifestyle might be suitable. There are various levels: A vegetarian that doesnít eat mammals but will eat birds. A vegetarian that doesnít eat mammals or birds but will eat certain marine animals. One that will not eat any animal yet eats eggs. Others do not eat any animal or egg; but still eat items that arenít directly derived from egg or milk; such as cookies. And yet the extreme vegetarian eats nothing that comes from animal whatsoever and tries to avoid animal products elsewhere, with a few exceptions.
from dgizzle :
Hi kat, i don't know u and vice versa but i read your vegan entry, lol ya made me laugh. you sound like a nutter i reckon you'd fit in well round England (tis where im from btw :p)
from keilakeren :
Attention friends I ask if I could please take a few minutes of your time to read the following. It might very well affect you and those you love. Thank You. Kat http://keilakeren.diaryland.com/041005_76.html
from mystical76 :
Oh, oh, oh! My sister is a vegan and she eats her brownies ROCK-HARD! Yum, yum.
from soulstealer :
i think we may be the only two people on here. i think noone reads me anymore.
from suggest :
Hi! You've been suggested as a great diary :)
from chickenabuse :
Happy Birthday! Don't think of it as getting old. Think of yourself as a fine wine, getting better and better. Lol. Happy Birthday and I wish you many more.
from soulstealer :
I hear ya. We seem to be on the same schedule then I guess. For me it's Moby, George Jones and Alicia Keys but the same idea. I hope you aren't lonesome and remember that you touch us every time you write so you can take comfort in that.
from chickenabuse :
Oh doll, I'm sorry you're down. But just as you said it's a phase, you'll be back up soon. I love you, feel better.
from keilakeren :
Just wanted to send you a big (((*HUG*))) and many wishes that you feel and get better. I hear ya girl... too much you say makes me thing of myself. 8op Love ya!
from keilakeren :
What a sweet entry I must say and even though you had the trials and tribulations of all the nosey family members, how cool is it to have one full week as your anniversary?! Happy anniversary guys, may all your wishes be fulfilled in this lifetime.
from keilakeren :
Girl I understand the desire, I had this strange desire, no, urge, to buy a big doll, I know itís not the same but the confusion as to why is. I bought my highly needed doll on ebay and I was fine afterwards, the need went away. However I think my weird need was pretty harmless, girlÖ use your gift on this oneÖ youíll know what you should do.
from chickenabuse :
I wonder about those things too. My main push in life is my father. He is an absolute genius on so many levels and yet he does nothing. He could be designing airplanes, writing revolutionary software, or even writing New York Times best sellers. But instead he just lives with his mother and tries to figure out the mathmatical value of color. Which may sound like something but, whether he figures it all out or not, he'll soon be over it, moving on and gaining nothing. It makes me overly depressed and determined to do something meaningful with my life.
from gumphood :
I still really like your site
from soulstealer :
Thanks for your support, I really feel like a different person because of it(nude in public) and I wish that I could feel that every day. I love your writing as well and look forward to what you say to me. Is it taboo to inquire about someones age? or sex?
from hydrogeek :
Good luck with the in-laws, I think all of them are dreadful. Glad you are liking your new job!
from curejeff :
i'm glad you like you're new job. you know a way i've found to make my diary virtually anonymous is to either not give a location but instead make up a bullshit one. you could figure out where i lived and then deduced where i worked from there, but it would be a monumental task and why would anyone really want to?! the real reason i wrote was krissy. it's all still much on my mind and i'm hoping it is all getting resolved for the wellbeing of the child. best from TN to TX!
from chickenabuse :
I hate Hummers too. There are two hummers in my apartment complex. I can't help but get ill. You live in apartments, but you can afford to drive a Hummer??? Grr
from chickenabuse :
Yes yes, Dave was amazing. The reality of it has been hitting me in waves. I'll hear or think about a song and just go, I saw Dave sing that with his own two boo-tiful lips. *sigh* :) Congratulations on your job!
from knock-first :
what a relief! has your mother asked her mother yet if she can have custody of her daughter? It is possible that she would say yes and be happy to be rid of the resposibility isnt it? However i have noticed these parent have a habit of becoming sentimental and wanting their kids back after a year or something. I took in a child once and this happened. I cant tell you how it broke my heart. It has been 2 years since I have heard from her. My girls still ask about her... Surely there are steps you can take. Move out of state so she wont want to pay for a plane ticket... I dont know.
from curejeff :
way to go!!!!
from hydrogeek :
Oh YEAH! Krissy's taken care of and you have a job! You got the luck today!
from hydrogeek :
I'm with knock-first - I would love to take Krissy. I've been trying to get pregnant for a year, and there are kids like that everywhere that don't have anybody to take care of them. I guess that whole "life's not fair" thing holds true once again. And if somebody needs to go to jail to protect that girl, pick me. You're in my prayers. Keep us informed.
from keilakeren :
WowÖ Iím so sorry to hear about Krissy, it pisses me off to hear so many children that suffer so much injustice in live. Gosh I wish the best for Krissy, sheís going to need all the love and support she possibly can for the rest of her life, sheís already witnessed way too much! I love your family, love them for the courage to take action and not just let things happen. Iím right behind you guys in spirit and in prayer and if there is anything you guys need please let us know! My love to Krissy, may she be alright! PS: Thank you for the information you supplied me with on the stalker situation, you always seem to make a little time to give good advice, I appreciate that. I love thunderstorms, they donít happen very often here in CA, but I did get one awesome one on video tape, got over my fear of them since. 8o) Take care and good luck on your interview!
from knock-first :
let me know if there is anything I can do. I would be prefectly happy to have another child. I am being completely serious...
from hydrogeek :
Go get her, steal her in the night. Good luck.
from knock-first :
I do that too... sucks
from knock-first :
ya just need to get your butt out there and swim. It doesnt HAVE to be social- maybe you just want some sun- and just happen to say hi to someone in passing... maybe not
from keilakeren :
Hope youíre feeling a bit better 8o( you are not useless, your writing & your perspective in life tell us otherwise. You know you are a very intelligent woman, it just takes us time to do certain things sometimesÖ I should know that. 8op Anyways, good luck on Monday and if for some reason things donít happen the way youíd hope, donít be so hard on yourselfÖ okay?! 8o) I wanted to thank you for giving the information on the book, I didnít find it on Amazon (for some reason) but I found it on ebay and bought it for $3 bucksÖ trŤs bon! Canít wait to read it. Thank You! 8o) ~Keila
from lustydork :
Thanks. Those 50s should be some good times. Good luck with the job thing. We all know how much being a part of the work force sucks, espically when you go to the bank to deposit your "biggest check EVER" and the guy next to you has one three times that size.
from lustydork :
Purple and black! I love it, but then again, I have purple black and yellow, but yours looks better. Eh, what are you gonna do?
from soulstealer :
i love your new template its was more lovely than the last one!!
from lovelylibra :
BTW, I was looking at your links page and for your spirituality page, you might want to check out the Interfaith Alliance. My roommate Martie worked there this summer, and they do a lot of great work promoting religious tolerance and education. You can check them out at: http://interfaithalliance.org
from lovelylibra :
Thanks for all of your kind notes. To be honest, over this trip I hardly did sleep, especially in the last week. That's my main goal for the next ten days: catch up on as much sleep as possible! It will make for boring entries, but more peace of mind! :o) Good luck on your job search.
from honestlyou :
Your review is completed, thanks for your patience! -Chaucee
from chickenabuse :
Oh I am so happy for you! That first breath of fresh air is so nice isn't it?
from hydrogeek :
Congrats on being an Austinite! You made it!! I'll be there to see you in Sept. for ACL, keep 6th street hoppin' for me 'till then.
from soulstealer :
If I could share with you my wonderful Father I would. Until now I may not have quite realized how lucky I have been and I am sorry that I cannot make this easier for you. It breaks my heart.
from knock-first :
ugh sounds liek your day yesterday was perfectly dreadful. I bet you feel better by today though. Good thing about things sucking that much is that they can only go up from there... Also $100 can buy you more than a months worth of Ramen and mac and cheese. Not fun but doable. If you ge this note any time soon email me at ursaminor1000@yahoo.com and I will give you my phone number in case you need anything. Wish we could have you for dinner tonight- sounds like you need a break and some free food. Maybe if you get back to me soon enough...
from keilakeren :
I haven't been successful at finding the Celestine Prophesy on Amazon, there is just too much to search for. Could you give me the name of the author or ISBN number when you get a chance? Iíll search for it when I get back from vacation, Thanks! 8o)
from curejeff :
hey, yes mixing coke and the downers does make one a bit blubbery! (i'm referring to an older entry of yours i ran across) i usually space out, don't remember anything the next day. be careful. read my last coupla entries about my little problem. just be careful, k?
from keilakeren :
I wonít be in town to wish you a good move so Iíll do it nowÖ we just moved in Feb and it was so hecktic but it was fun as itís not something you do everyday ya know? I wish you a good move! Iím so sorry but I had to laugh when you mentioned those Citibank commercial when listening to your mom. I really hope they can recover what sheís lost, it sucks when that happens. My grandma was the victim of the same and some woman took her for $3000, can you believe that?!! Somehow, that woman got her info, theyíre thinking it happened in the place where they make her checks because otherwise she has all her cards and info with her. Who knows. As for your Pomeranian I had one long ago and we did shave her for the summer: 1) we did the Lion thing, they look so funny, skinny with a big head, too cute. 2) the hair does grow back. My Chihuahua was allergic to fleas so even if he didnít have any but got bit once before he would continue scratching, Frontline works miracles. Keep an eye on that, but then again pets with a lot of fur sometimes donít do well in the summer heat. (Hugs) ~Keila
from knock-first :
maybe you could trade cat credit for guitar credit? Soooooo been there on both accounts. I need to write something in my journal today- it has been a while, but I am sapped. I am working on some songs (this doesnt come naturally for me at all) and it seems I am only capable of one creative mindset at a time. blah
from knock-first :
weird d-land usually emails me with notes but I missed that last one... sorry! I grew up in Austin so it doesnít quite count for me- my husband grew up in Kerrville, but we met in college in Denton (outside Dallas) and we lived there for 5 years until after my daughter was 1. It was still scary moving back. We had no jobs- knew only a few people as all my old friends had moved... and only had 2000 from a tax return to get us through the move and until we found employment. It was definitely a risk- but one I am glad we took. Please let me leave your names at the door the money will just be sucked up into some band diplomacy hole anyway (no idea where it goes). Consider it a house warming present? So I will just put Chris+1 (though it would be better if we had your name as we know a zillion guys named Chris).
from curejeff :
i'd like to have some cats, but my huskey'd eat them! your notes to me are always so well put, thank you for that! i hope to go and read thru your diary real thoroughly here in the near future, get you all properly analyzed, haha. hope everything is going great!
from soulstealer :
I am a libra
from keilakeren :
Congratulations on your weight lossÖ itís so hard yet so rewardingÖ I have yet to get to where I want to be. I too am a sucker for new pets 8op your Bathsheba sounds a lot like my smallestÖ Bokou.
from knock-first :
Funny, that is why we moved here also. Nics a musician and we wanted to be close to the family but not too close. EK! The cover is 5$ but we will leave your names at the door. Email me with them ursaminor1000@yahoo.com if you want. It is not my favorite club even though it is one of the biggest and most popular here. Simply because it is a really big and hard to fill. And even when you DO fill it (we somehow managed last time) it still doesnt look filled. But it sounds impressive in a press kit, because all the really big names play there and they are known for being harder to get into. Still the venue sucks....blah.
from keilakeren :
Gosh, thanks for the warning, I was just trying it as itís something Iíve never done and was curious. But I thank you for what you said, Iíll definitely research it more as I have no clue what Iím doing. Last night after talking to my friend Billy, I tried to calm down as much as I could, took a couple of deep breaths and attempted to do it. I donít think I did, but I did feel this very heavy tingling sensation throughout my body, it almost felt like I was going to, something was definitely happening but I kind of woke myself up. I tried to go back to it but it wasnít the same anymore and after a while the phone rang and I decided to get up. It was so hard to physically get up, has that happened to you? When I got up I was dizzy and sluggish for about half and hourÖ is that common? Also, I donít know how this is related or if it is at all, let me ask your opinion: In late Ď02 as I was sleeping in the back of our van waiting for hubby early (BF at the time) one morning I was very cold and decided I should get up and walk around, only I couldnít wake up. I could swear I saw myself sleeping there and I couldnít wake myself up, itís as if I was being restrained or something. That had NEVER happened to me before and when I woke up my heart was beating fast as it scared me and it was slightly hard to breath. I passed it off as a bad dream though. It happened to me once again in Ď03 while at home, very creepy. What do you think?
from knock-first :
Cool! Told my husband about you both and we are looking forward to meeting you! Am I right to gather you are coming from Houston? What brings you?
from chickenabuse :
I am so happy that things are finally looking up. I knew you would make it and everything woud turn out alright.
from hydrogeek :
I am so glad everything is looking up for you today. Here's a toast to you stealing some more luck along the way! Too bad all I have at my desk is ice water:(
from keilakeren :
Thank you for your advice, I really appreciated, I guess Iím trying to find some logical explanation to why I feel this way. I was told by someone else about this being an empath trait as well. The person in my journal was a guy I knew on the internet and kept a friendship with for about 3 years. We never met in person or talk via web cam & In those 3 years I only had a picture and this enormous amount of love for this person. I was too bold to confess to him how I felt and in my attempt to describe it as best as I could it all went to hell and we went our separate ways. That happened about a year ago, not until yesterday did these strong feelings come back, as if Iím mourning the lost of his friendship, I still feel it now and I just wish it would go away. Iím totally going to begin reading some good books about dreams and perhaps some about empaths. Can you recommend any good ones? Thank you for listening I feel so much better to know this is something understandable by a select few. {Thank you}
from knock-first :
I can not tell you how much I needed that encouragement this morning. I have felt like a square peg in a round hole lately. Thank you so much for that. The music is similar to that of Rush, Yes, or U2... maybe even a little like Pink Floyd. You can hear it by clicking on the A/V link on the first page. Or you can see them live at Antones on the 29th. I read many things in your journal yesterday that reminded me of my own thoughts and life. It would be neat to meet you someday. Do you know anyone in Austin? If not let me be the first to say welcome! I have a couple of other austin friends who hang around here in dairyland also, nicoleprice is one of my close friends. She is also smart, funny and artistic and in my opinion just plain awesome. Anyway... I am rambling... take care and thanks again!
from keilakeren :
Your words make so much sense, unfortunately I believe some religious followers take their practice a little too serious and they forget what the concept is really all about. No oneís perfect and that includes religious followers, for all the hundreds of rotten religious people there are a few good ones out there. If you have a little faith, donít lose it, just keep searching. The bible states that God is a God of love and forgivenessÖ donít allow anyone else make you feel like a sinner you have paid your dues. Sorry to rambleÖ. {I need your help, I figure if anyone would understand it would be you as you too have a Ďgiftí if Iím not mistaking. Could you please take a look at my ĎMissing Youí entry and tell me what you think?} Thanks Hon! Wishing you the best always!! ~Keila
from knock-first :
Stopped by today while bored at work. I enjoyed reading. You will have to look me up when ya get to Austin... my husband is a musician who plays around town if you like that sort of thing. His band is linked in my journal. "Gideons Press". Getting ready to change the name before the new CD comes out though... Don't know what it will be yet. I am in "that catgory" too. I agree with what you are saying completely. The two different types of people just dont get each other. Weird.
from chickenabuse :
Oh doll I'm so sorry things are not going as well as they should. But anything worth having isn't easy to get. Or something like that. :) Something will give eventually, just keep your head up.
from hydrogeek :
Good luck on your move to Austin! I'm in North Texas myself and there's just a certain charm to Austin that you can't find anywhere else. I'm sure that if there's gold to be found, Austin is the end of the rainbow!
from soulstealer :
I wish that it were so easy as to chalk it up to just not being meant to be. These things I fight for I have to believe in I am sure you understand. I am constantly pursued by men and the one who I want is not able to even wear shoelaces in his shoes.Tragic.
from curejeff :
hi! thank you for that well thought-out note. i've thought a lot about it, and you're of course right in many ways. i don't know why i get so stressed about stuff, really. in any case, i don't know, there's something inside of me that will not be satisfied unless i get an advanced degree. it's not for the money, really, it's more than that, something i can't really put my finger on. it's my mt. everest. thanks again! btw i love the "Norman Rockwell on acid" phrase!
from solstice36 :
sucks when d-land gives you a server message, i usually write my entries in word then cut and paste so i dont lose anything. just a thought.
from chickenabuse :
Thanks for letting me know you are crazy too! It makes it better when you can say, at least I'm not the only one. So, someone is taping you? Like your on the real world or something? That's creepy. I'm going to pray for you. That you can get out of where ever you are are very soon. :)
from hydrogeek :
Thanks for the compliments! I just realized that we're both probably going to hell for wishing for a magic wand. Damn!
from hydrogeek :
Just a random note from a random diaryland gal who's also an ex-baptist. Your beliefs are your business, and the born again baptists are the worst about pressing their beliefs one you. I remember once watching a video at a youth baptist thing about how evil George Michael was (after he came out with "I want your sex") and how if you played his stuff backwards it said satanic messages. Really. A whole video. Anyway, wish I had some sort of magic wand you could wave and make your uncle back off, but I don't. Hang in there.
from eloquent- :
we found your diary through a recommendation. we'd like to have you as a member!
from lustydork :
I fell in the shower about a month ago, and I havent used soap to wash my feet since...maybe its not so clean, but at least I dont feel like an old person.
from soulstealer :
thankyou
from chickenabuse :
Oh doll I completely understand. I get messed up and get pissed off about something random and just have to go off. But, yeah, Viagra makes me angry. And ofcourse it has to be free, because it's not in any way shape or form useful or needed. But that's fine.
from soulstealer :
i am honored to be your first on the favorite diary list or whatever, even if i am not i love being at the top of your list so please allways let me be there ok? and i appreciate that you are still reading my word and i am sorry if its just not exciting right now. i guess my life is far too full of yuckery these days to tell it all.
from chickenabuse :
I'm glad to see things are picking up for you. I'm so excited for you too. I really hope things go well in Austin so you can start you're own little family. :)
from curejeff :
Hey, just stumbled upon your diary and only had a few moments to look. I'll come back and visit, but have to say it's very cool and interesting. Okay, I really HAVE to know if you ever told Will about CJ's train, or did he ever find out. Sorry I'm being nosey. Don't feel compelled to tell me if you don't want. d-land love, jeff
from peejee :
Thank you for leaving the kind notes =) I have been reading back in your diary a little, it seems very interesting so far. I like it.
from soulstealer :
I am still laughing with tears rolling......Thankyou for todays entry and thank God for your eccentric family cuz you only have one.
from quick-view :
There's a new review site out! Quick-view! Come check it out:)
from chickenabuse :
I'm so sad you're moving because you won't have your computer. ;) I hope this all goes well for you, I can tell it's something you really want. Don't stay away too much. I'm sure you could update at the library, because that's what we all like to do on a Friday night. :) I'll miss you!
from cultofme :
thanks for the note. the problem is that i have too many passion s. i mean, i really like science, music, art and dealing with people. and whatever profession i choose, i'll have to deal with the bullshit that comes along with the field. so for me, it not a question of doing what i love. its a question of how to compensate for the unpleasant parts of a job? tough question and i hope we both make/made the right decision.
from diaryreviews :
Hey... Your review is up on Diary Reviews... you can go to http://diaryreviews.diaryland.com/karmicenigm.html to see it. Also, congrats, you are eligible to join the 80 and up diaryring. -Xilia
from lustydork :
i work at hollywood video, and let me tell you, a hundred dollars is nothing compared to some people. once i checked in three or four star trek movies that were all 389 days late.
from chickenabuse :
No I wasn't being a smartass. You really are awesome. :) I just didn't have anything more profound to say. And there's no question of me moving out. I think if I live with my mom much longer I'll throw myself off a bridge, really. I happen to think being whiny is a natural thing. It's best to get it out instead of letting it build and fester. The occasional whine can be very healthy. :)
from chickenabuse :
You are so awesome.
from keilakeren :
Hey gal, if you want to go and see the people you do care about and simply have a good time... then F'it just do it! But if you could care less about the reunion, then save yourself the trouble. However look at it this way, if anyone is still acting like Miss Prissy and giving you dirty looks, then know that they must be miserable in their own life. For miserable people are the only people who dwell on a life they once had, which Ďin their eyesí was much more fulfilling then the life they have now and thus is why they keep the same mentality. If you encounter anyone like this just feel sorry for them and have a ball the rest of the night, you've deserve it!
from soulstealer :
I too will write a list of all the things I wanted to accomplish before I die. Like you I have kept it in my head most of my life but it doesn't hurt to see it all in front of me.
from keilakeren :
Hey there Iím glad to share the same House Dreaming with others 8oD itís kind of fun isnít it? Iíve gotten a couple of emails by others saying the do the same thing. Youíre right, they are life goals and theyíll come in due time, but in the meantime it doesnít hurt to fantasies. You know, youíre so right about moving having nothing to do with depression. When I was younger I use to think: ďA new city will help, or new people will do the trickĒ Nope, itís just something we carry inside and if not properly taken care of something else will make us feel depressed once more, it goes where you go. I do hope that you arenít suffering from depression on a regular basis, I wouldnít wish it upon my worst enemyÖ *well maybe my worst enemy* hehe. Changing subjects a bit: just wanted to report I did the white string thing (I used a new, unused shoe lace, hope that was okay) two weeks ago yesterday and didnít find my necklaceÖ I just donít have luck with things like that. But I thank you anyways; I would have done anything to find it. ((Hugs)) Keila PS: I havenít read the article on this futurist guy, but Iím very interested and Iíll take a look tomorrow.
from chickenabuse :
Thanks for the comments on my poem. They've asked for money, but never said it was necassary. Oh well, it's not that important. I went to the John Titor website and found it to be interesting as well. I wish this guy were still around, I could ask a million questions whether I truly believed it or not. I don't know how I feel about the wars, but if it happened I would love to make it to the other side. I've often read or seen those types of societies in movie and wished life could be like that.
from lovelylibra :
I just read your note about my internship applications and DNC rejection... Thanks so much for your thoughts and keeping your fingers crossed for me! Very sweet. It seems to have worked, too, because I had some interviews this past week, and got a call back on Friday with an offer. I am probably not going to share where I am interning in my diary, but since you're interested, it's with the Women's Campaign Fund. They try to get female pro-choice candidates elected around the country through research, fundraising events, political strategy consulting, etc etc. So, it's set up, and I can't wait. Thanks for keeping your fingers crossed, I owe you one! :o)
from chickenabuse :
Aww, thank you so much. Your diary has become one of the few I read on a regular basis. I'm not going away, I'm just frustrated with it. I feel like I don't write about anything anymore and I can never think of a reason to update. Thanks again for your note it made me happy. :)
from keilakeren :
Hey girl, I appreciate your note, it was one of the best Iíve ever received. I too have been guilty of laziness and selfishness towards my friends; for me I know it was a part of growing up and discovering what friendship was all about. Itís good to know that Iím not the only one whoís been there and can relate to these experiences and even better to see that there are still honest women out there, who understand what itís like to be a good person. I completely understand about being Ďunsupportive after the 25th talk about the same problemí thatís how I felt with this last gal I was dealing with. She sound like a broken record and it was frustrating to see her always so upset. In the end I realized it was all a pity game and cry for attention and there was nothing I or anyone else could say or do to make it better. I am with you that sometimes, we are the ones to have to call it quits! I know Iíll find some good gal pals out there, itís just a matter of time, there are different kind of friends, perhaps you and I can be Diaryland friendsÖ No commitments 8op Take care and thanks for your awesome note! -Keila
from warmslippers :
No matter how reliable your neighbors' gossip may be, there is always room for unintentional fabrication. Remember the telephone game? I would approach the blushing bride about the rumors, and whether she confesses or denies, encourage her to speak to Will about it. If she chooses to be untruthful, she at least has to be obliged to let her future husband know the rumors about her, she can explain herself as she sees fit, and in turn it's his decision to do what he must with the information. If you approach him, he might become defensive. If it's really true, chances are he might even know. Talk to the bride before you do anything. Wouldn't you prefer one of Chris's friends to encourage him to speak to you directly about a sensitive matter instead of someone approaching you with unconfirmed gossip?
from soulstealer :
I think a persons sexual past is only relevant if they risk someone elses health by not telling them. Otherwise I believe its a private thing and the only thing it may say about a person is that they really enjoy sex nothing else. This comes from a long life of strict sexual beliefs and then shocking my way into the sex industry. I think that if you do something you would not be able to admit to anyone then you should think about your actions but I don't think that it is for anyone else to reveal either.
from keilakeren :
Hey girl thanks for the advice with finding my necklace; at this point I'm willing to try anything if it means I might have a chance to find it. I'll do it today and give you an update two weeks from now. Thanks!! BTW: Really enjoyed your entry on Medical Marijuana, it was very well researched and I really like the passion you display in your writing. I even took a peek at one of the links you provided to read up a bit on this issue. I must admit, Iíve never tried a single drug in my life that wasnít doctor prescribed; but this issue is an important one Ďmedically that isí and you did a very good job with your research. Kudos to you!
from lustydork :
location can be the cause of all problems. i live in a small california town called hanford (aka hell). not pleasant, so i feel for you regarding the location issue.
from mcclain :
RYN: Hey, I did get a star chart type thing done by a Web Site once. I posted it on http://mcclain.diaryland.com/011026_55.html but if you want to, you are more than welcome to give me another one. I'm into all that stuff, too. (I'm a ver typical Cancer.) McClain.
from soulstealer :
I too have sex issues and I am sympathetic to anyone who has that in common with me as I know what a feat it can be. My issues I would like to believe are due to occupational hazards but it is not any less difficult. I would rather get myself off too to save the milleage !sick bitch i am. hang in there and keep writing.
from cultofme :
i worked in baytown for 9 or so months once upon a time. that was around the same time i dated a girl from la porte. it was hard being a vegetarian and eating out in that area. i am playing records tommorrow night at the proletariat (montrose/richmond) from 11 to 12:30.
from cultofme :
yep. baytown will make you want to do drugs. i know this from personal experience.
from keilakeren :
Hey gal, yes I got to watch the movie this past Tuesday. Well needless to say that's the same night I had that nightmare I talk about in my journal 'Dreaming Pink'. I really liked the movie though; after what happened to me my mom told me she had heard stories of these kinds of events happening. ĎI wonder if she was talking about this one in particularí as it seems to be the most popular; as far as I know. I have a movie review page under my main journal; here is a direct link to the review site so you can read what else I had to say: http://www.quicktopic.com/25/H/DrKEt87RQbB Iím glad I got to see the movie, thanks for mentioning the movie otherwise I donít know when else I would have known about it. ĖKeila
from soulstealer :
You and I are a lot alike in our experiences and age gap issues are not unfamiliar to me so I feel you. Hang in there.
from warmslippers :
Welcome Home! Glad to hear it was good for you and Chris. You were missed!
from keilakeren :
Hey there girl, thanks to your I've rented 'The Entity' and we'll be watching it tonight; can't wait! Best Wishes to you today! -Keila
from peejee :
I found your journal through a chain of friends' friends. The way you word yourself, and the opinions you have, are just awesome. I felt like I should let you know that.
from keilakeren :
Hey girl I found you via the questionnaire you answered about the supernatural and I really felt drawn to you as I share some of your ideas. Hope to get to know more of who you are and what you believe. Sincerely, Keila
from chickenabuse :
I completely understand the anger thing. I often rant and rave and bitch about everything, but it's never real anger. But the other day something clicked and I had to lock myself in my room with the Jekyll and Hyde cd to keep from ripping the house apart. I'm currently blaming the Allegra I took that day. Maybe you took something out of the ordinary and it helped this episode along.
from lustydork :
I did that bold/change thing...entertaining.
from opinionshere :
Your review is up at http://opinionshere.diaryland.com/karmicenigm.html
from chickenabuse :
where have you gone? (like im one to complain about not updating)miss you. hope you havent gone away.
from our-views :
Your review is up at Our Views. Thanks for submitting your diary!
from crashreviews :
Your review is up.
from beagle47 :
thank you for listing me, k'. don't worry about being manic, etc. maybe you're just diverse, like a renaissance woman. ;)
from aperfectself :
Thank you for the note. :)
from chickenabuse :
Happy Valentine's Day! :)I hope your job search is going better. Good luck with that.
from warmslippers :
LOL about your descriptions of the new neighbors. Did they make good on the check and get to keep the Porsche? If not, I hope the joyriding was worth it. Dumbasses. I'll trade homes with you for a few weeks if you want to see some snow. I'd like to NOT see some snow. Good luck with the interview. If you love animals that much, maybe this is your chance to get your foot into the door of veternary science. After a few months of observing firsthand, you can talk to your boss about training to be a technician. Even small businesses prefer to hire from the inside. Accounting sucks, I know, and even if you hate it that much you can PRETEND you don't and get a good job reference. Everyone loves a reference from a doctor. Good Luck! I'll be thinking of you.
from lovelylibra :
Your observations about the Christian faith reflect what I see in people every day. Many people tend to preach one thing, but live their lives another way. Many are even hypocrites. Live your life as you see fit, and join whatever denomination you think fits best with your beliefs and practices. Who cares what everyone else thinks? They will not decide if you go to Heaven or Hell on Judgment Day (if you believe in all that). Ultimately, it comes down to whether you are living your life in accordance with the teachings of the Bible, not whether you attend a Methodist, a Baptist, a Catholic, or an Episcopalian church (or any at all!). To me, it sounds like you already are doing just that! Good for you.
from chickenabuse :
I completely agree with you. My step-family is exactly the same way. I was the most wonderful person in the world as long I attended church, despite the fact I was 98% pure evil. But now that I'm much more in tune with God, I'm horrid because I'm not in church. I suppose it easier for some to live with their own hypocrisy.
from warmslippers :
We really should chat soon. We are like the same person... almost an entire country apart. I'm just getting caught up with you here... I think we should form some sort of support group for women who have spent a lifetime disappointed. And Dawson's Creek rules, by the way. Did you see The Goodbye Girl with Richard Dreyfuss? That was good. Don't much care for the new one with Patricia Heaton. BTW, Anna Begins is my favorite song and has very personal meaning for me too. I hope you are right about my Pats. We are tied with 51 seconds to go...
from lovelylibra :
You have had quite a love story in your life thus far. And you're still young! I know it's hard when you're pulled to many different people in different ways, and I know the feeling of wanting desperately to be able to see into the future. Trust me, I totally understand that. I am going to give you advice I should be taking myself: focus on what's good in your life right now, go with the flow, and let things unfold. Everything will work out just as it should. :o)
from aperfectself :
I just wanted to say hi. I got to your diary via LovelyLibra and I like what I see. I enjoy reading your entries, they're very honest. I'll be back soon :)
from lovelylibra :
You should read "Seduction By the Stars" by Lexander & Rose. Its mostly the signs in love/relationships/sex, and how to seduce them of course, but its very straightforward and humorous. Here's a little about what is says about us Libras and our relationships: "Librans are notorious for overlapping relationships. From the point of view of their partners, the Libran might be called unfaithful-- but the Libran won't see it that way. Memorize the following irrgular verb: she is a slut; you are an unfaithful bastard; I have overlapping relationships." ...See, you're right, its not our fault! Its in our astrology!
from chickenabuse :
I wish I knew how to do birth charts. I was really interested in it my freshman year of high school but I never did anything with it. But I've been seriously contemplating going to get a book. I've been noticing lately how people around me are pretty true to their signs. The real thing is usually right.
from soulstealer :
It is remarkable how many aspects of our existance are alike.
from cocktails :
Hello...first off. Apologies for not replying to your lovely note. Dland is not sending me any mails saying I have been left notes/guestbook/comments not even telling me someone has joined my PastLives Diaryring - thankyou by the way. On the subject of templates, I used to design my own then I found Nicola (RPdesigns) and she has lots of fantastic templates that are free. Anyways its getting late here...thanks again for visiting my site. C xxxx
from chickenabuse :
I know! Seeing a DMB concert is definitely at the top of a long list of things to do. I was supposed to see them in Atl, GA and about 9000 other times but it never seems to work out. But maybe one day...
from soulstealer :
I really like your new design
from streetlamps :
Hi there! Thanks for the compliment on my diary. I'll try to start writing there again. Bumbershoot was taken down, so that's why the link didn't work. However, I do have a livejournal at http://www.livejournal.com/users/dashhula.
from other-life :
i love the new layout. and HTML? like anything, it takes practice and repetition before it instills itself in your head. not that i should talk, i *sort of* grew up in the computer age, and i still can't do it. at least you're making an effort!
from lovelylibra :
I like the green -- its mellow and serene. If you really want change though, go to beautify.diaryland.com and there are templates you can borrow from designers for free, or you can get one designed for you if you want to pay. I somehow stumbled upon it, and that's where I got mine from. On another note, I don't know if my friend will ever come off his religion "kick"... I think its doomed. But, the way I look at it is, its sad, but shit happens. At least we have the memories. :o)
from lovelylibra :
I like the green -- its mellow and serene. If you really want change though, go to beautify.diaryland.com and there are templates you can borrow from designers for free, or you can get one designed for you if you want to pay. I somehow stumbled upon it, and that's where I got mine from. On another note, I don't know if my friend will ever come off his religion "kick"... I think its doomed. But, the way I look at it is, its sad, but shit happens. At least we have the memories. :o)
from chickenabuse :
I don't remember how exactly I got to your diary, but I'm really excited about it. It's so nice to find a train of thought I can understand. Although it does nothing but further develop my own neurosis.
from other-life :
i hear you. shaving, waxing, epilating...all hurt, all are vaguely ineffective, and all take far too much time. lazer hair removal is a painless, permanent option, but i'm positive that 10 years down the track, we'll have a bunch of women with cancer from lazer hair removal techniques that everybody leapt for before they'd been tested enough. i don't think being hairfree should be such a hassle...but we still put ourselves through it anyway. women are fickle creatures. :)
from warmslippers :
LOL. I think we must be soul sisters...and should be roomies in France. On a more depressing note, I lived through a similiar situation that you did with your ex (minus the actual wedding). I found out I was pregnant with my former fiancee's child right around the day he decided to leave me. I never told him, and had an abortion (he never wanted children). There was no way I could live through the heart ache of bringing his child into the world...not to mention being left practically homeless after the loss of his income. Sure, I have regrets, but I made the right decision for everyone. The choices of women are never easy, but the decent ones are usually correct.
from mystical76 :
Your comment for me in your profile cracked me up! Me? Having figured "it" out??? I wish!!!
from lovelylibra :
Thanks so much for the kind note and kind words on your profile! It's funny that in your most recent entry you mention Boulder, because I'm a Colorado native, and I LOVE that town. It's absolutely one of the best places you could end up if you decide to move. The people are really nice, there's always something to do, and its close to Denver and the mountains too. The only drawback (for some!) is that its a college town. Best of luck to you on moving, should you decide to! And thanks again for your note! You're right, my life is a bit of a romantic comedy (and sometimes drama for that matter!) and now that I think about it, it's always been that way! We libras are trouble, aren't we?!
from other-life :
oh, and i'm sorry to hear about your abortion and all the bad experiences (with your husband cheating and all...ugh, guys are bastards oftentimes). i admire you for making the pragmatic decision in your situation, even though it must have hurt to make it...and been as hard as all hell. right or wrong..who knows? but you learn from your experiences, either way.
from other-life :
picking up and just moving is daunting, but also exciting, too. i've lived in four VERY different countries in my short life, and from my experience...it's hard and scary at first, but rewarding in the long run. it really makes you more well-rounded. maybe you should even think further than elsewhere in america and move internationally. but take baby steps first. of course it's going to be scary...so you just need to pluck up the courage and motivation. don't try to plan it too much...it will always seem daunting and impossible that way. i feel dumb giving advice to someone older and wiser than me, so i'll ssh now. i guess my moving countries and the like has always been in the context of my parents uprooting me...not from conciously choosing to re-organise my life. but good luck with whatever happens - enjoy the excitement.
from lovelylibra :
I just read your entry on abortion -- I am so sorry you had to go through that. It sounds like a terrible situation, and I'm glad you had the courage to pick the option that was right for you despite what others thought. You sound like a very strong person. Looking forward to reading more of what you have to say.
from other-life :
i like the way you write in 'bundles', per se. shows that you write when you feel something, not just after you've planned something to write. i only have more than one diary because real people who i know keep finding them, so i move. i don't know why others do the multiple diary thing, though...maybe there's other reasons. by the way, thanks for the poem. it really made me smile. really.
from warmslippers :
I am so glad we all survived the season.
from mystical76 :
Hi! Thanks for joining the soulmate ring!!!
from warmslippers :
I always check out the diaries of those who fill out my surevys...and I must say, I really enjoyed reading yours. You speak of real things I always push down deep inside and try to laugh off. I find you very interesting and admire your honesty. Hope you keep writing!
from red-pen :
'Is there a way to find bliss if you are not ignorant?' - a question i've asked myself far too many times. i would be amazingly happy if i had as many 'snapshots' as you listed in your diary. especially so many that are so imbued with passion and experience. your life appears comfortably full to me - but that's just my assumption as an outsider. please keep writing - i implore you. it's fantastic.
from soulstealer :
I am soo happy someone finally put me on their buddy list and even more thrilled that your diary is soo inviting and obviously real, your words are good-thankyou. You have no idea how you affected my day!

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