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messages to autumnal:
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from finnmckool :
Rebecca! Que pasa? If someone told me you were shooting children I'd ask what caliber you were using, not what speed film. How goes it?
from daath :
It's so curious: I'd thought about you lately a few times and if I should note you. I figured you might not remember me. How is the writerly pursuit of all things mindful? I haven't read your journal in ages. I hope you're exquisite--or at least in the flow of things.
from lousrose :
*hugs*
from donnaisblue :
i know you are! i've been reading your diary, love. i'm doing well. slightly insane, but it is at least inspiring. i've been feeling so much lately, it is divine. miss you :)
from raven72d :
Indeed. I was back at work today... It's the city itself that's in anarchy.
from banefulvenus :
great site!
from erato :
It was so hard reading that the next morning. I am so tired of my charades, though. So tired of the confusion because I can never really remember which are the masks and which is the face. I need to grow up, but I haven't a clue where to start. I am so glad you are here.
from erato :
DARLING! I am back. I am back and a little more angsty than appropriate, but fuck it, I am drunk and obscene and tired of acting appropriately. Here you are! Is that a new picture? I love what you have done with your hair. And your brows! We used to talk about the brows. Mine are a mess. Everything about me is a mess. It's so tragic. But it's OK. Give me a week and I will be back to pretending everything is perfect and I am in absolute C-O-N-T-R-O-L. Nice to be back again! Missed you so!!!
from autumnal :
thanks!
from banefulvenus :
I love your banners!
from autumnal :
ha ha. thank you. i'm glad you like the banners. i want to make some really clever ones but im out of ideas!
from banefulvenus :
HOLY SH*T! I LOVE YOUR BANNERS!!!
from anti-love- :
I love your banners. I, too, thought tom cruise was gay.
from candoor :
oh so yay! you deserve even more praise and admiration and love than I can give, so just deal with it and the tongue I stick out in your general direction too :)
from raven72d :
Herr Doktor just seems better than "Cher Maitre"...
from autumnal :
ha ha as i went to read your note the tom banner popped up! tom saves. ha ha. and thanks for your compliment.
from jehsika :
oh, it was the Tom Cruise as Jesus banner...I can't remember the words but the image of Tom as Jesus was just so wrong and so funny and so out of left field...I feel very jaded lately and things rarely surprise me...that surprised me. And then your writing is excellent too, I'm envious. Well done!!
from xnavygrrl :
ABFab, you go girl! I admire your style of writing....sometimes I think my own is stilted and makes even me feel uncomfortable. But the freedom of expressing myself is intoxicating. If you check out my profile, don't let it turn you off. It's mainly for the benefit of my web stalker...and if you leave me and email addy I'll send you a password.
from nessiegurlie :
AbFab is an awesome show to do a banner from. Nice site. Have a good summer and peace, Nessie
from autumnal :
Thanks donn! Glad to see you as well.
from donnaisblue :
i'm glad to see you're back!
from candoor :
I just thought of you (as I was reminiscing about my diary-obsessions over the years) and am so happy to see I can lust after your words once again :)
from hairplay :
Wow, you're a good writer... I like you a lot!
from davidde :
good to see you back
from erato :
LOVE! You are back! I am so glad.
from f-i-n :
great site...i had fun reading it
from raven72d :
Where is an e-mail I can send my address to?
from raven72d :
Married, now: *sigh*.... What is one to say?
from autumnal :
what does that mean zero... im elderly?! Or just immature?? (laughing) Well I'm 29, a few years past mid twenties. (laughing some more).
from f4sakndauter :
ahh, well, then my condolences.
from zerom3ph :
wow. all this time, your writing gave me the impression that you were in your mid-twenties.
from autumnal :
i meant the death of my loved one.
from f4sakndauter :
again?
from curejeff :
thank you for your reply, i sent the card this morning. best, jeff
from autumnal :
thank you so much curejeff... i understand the dilemna but i know its ok and appropriate because , even though she wont improve, she has days she feels better... and she wont be offended...shes received a lot of cards similar to that and she loves them regardless. i thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from curejeff :
hello. i went out and bought a card to send last night but it says 'hope you're feeling better soon' or something to that effect. but otherwise is very sweet. and then i looked at your post again and, well, do you think it would be appropriate to send?
from candoor :
because good memories are never gone, Happy Valentine's Day, R :)
from raven72d :
why *is* it gone?
from f4sakndauter :
it's there now.
from raven72d :
Happy Year Five, Bec! And do stay in touch! I've missed you.
from erato :
Happy Holidays, Bec!
from redd :
its all. missing. i wonder if youre still there. so.
from finnmckool :
You rang? Muahahahah
from erato :
Missing you!
from watercolored :
My humble thanks, a nod from you is an honour.
from erato :
Gorgeous, how I have missed you! I love love love that you are posting. Have fun at the Ritz, love, god knows you deserve a break and a fabulous holiday! My best to you!
from raven72d :
Do take photos-- and do grab as much hotel stationery for me as you can! Enjoy the trip!
from lousrose :
for that to come from you- someone i've admired lovingly from afar for a couple of years- i can't thank you enough!
from raven72d :
I'd never object to that... And--again, thanks...
from raven72d :
lordwhimsy.com? i'll have to go look...
from raven72d :
Thank you... Very much.
from sorethroat :
check moodswings.diaryland.com
from lacere :
happy you came back. whether it is brief or not, this world deserves your beautiful writing.
from qoheleth :
I think I might write again. I remember you when I wrote then. Years are like viscous sledge hammers.
from raven72d :
I'm glad you're back... Do stay in touch... Send photos when you can...
from raven72d :
You're back, then...
from erato :
Ah! The sheer beauty! You have returned. Even if it is only for a moment, I cling to your words like they are the essence of my being. I have missed you so much, altogether too much, one would say. Love! You are incandescent and perfect to me.
from f4sakndauter :
oh beautiful, you're back.
from curejeff :
i happened upon you just as you were leaving, lucky enough to soak up the energy, raw talent, the love and the rage and dreams. you've touched more than you will ever. never ever forget your specialness. never forget.
from watercolored :
You enchant me completely. I've only just mustered the courage to say so, and now you're leaving. I wish you health and happiness, have fun!
from erato :
I have gone and done it, Rebecca. I think about you running off across the nation every time I think about what I am doing. Throwing everything I know into the wind. You will never believe the things I have seen and done. I am madness incarnate, and she looks a lot like you.
from primessa :
Why has the memory of birth been dissovled? Why do I feel we are so close yet all your reflections are wires to me? Your secrets are my peace in my word-war form.
from erato :
Ah, I miss you. Have I gossip, though. I hope we catch each other soon!
from autumnal :
I have been having the strangest most intense and vivid dreams about the late actor (gone over ten years!) River Phoenix lately. The image of him is haunting me.
from theghostgirl :
what a beautiful entry... as so often, you seem to pluck the feelings from my own heart and clothe them in far more beautiful words than I ever do!
from erato :
YOU GENIUS! Will you ever cease to astound me? I must have lunch with you one day, darling, you are the magic that is left in this world. I love it. The subdued tones make your brilliance shine brighter. Wonderful work. I cannot wait to see its completion.
from erato :
Christ, woman, you are all draped in red today. And so am I. Your imagery is strong. I hope I catch you again soon.
from erato :
Ah, how I have missed you, my beauty, my darling, my partner in shoe-shopping, money-burning, man-hungering crime!
from daath :
As lovely and enchanting as was before and hopefully into what is not yet now.
from autumnal :
.
from raven72d :
I want to be...Colin Firth or Ralph Fiennes.
from f4sakndauter :
wow. (maybe I'll think of something more interesting to say later).
from erato :
May you be better and feel better soon, darling.
from literatim :
this will make you. it will fail to break you. your words will be proof of that. record everything. now. and then we (you) will see how strong you are (you are stronger than even you know. find it.).
from verum :
i hope you are okay. keep us updated.
from daath :
My most fervent hopes and well-wishes for having your medical examinations go well. I hope you feel better, dear.
from raven72d :
Well... you can't be eighteen again, but you can pare away flesh and restore taut skin and sleek lines...and use the tool that your body can be to recover a life. (Write me soon).
from ladyvivien :
I love that quote. I love the kind of gaze it describes. Also love the layout. Makes me want to go to Paris and be a bohemian writer lady...
from raven72d :
Yes, but "Yugo" is a line I've been waiting to use. Having despised the little Serbian cars, I try wherever possible to apply "Yugo" as a mock name. And calling Nin's hooosbandt "Yugo" was also an effort to provoke Ghanima a bit.
from candora :
life is all about trying again, once again you refresh me...
from verum :
i love that you wrote this; i love that you share. i wish you knew that from everything i've read of yours i'd feel privileged, graced, to know you, to be in the same room as your mind, and see your beautiful eyes, lips, chin, in person.
from leitinaa-s :
Girl, you makin' me so damn sad for you! You gotta step outside and take a deep breath EVERY DAY enjoying the things that make you happy. The changin' leaves, funny movies, fruit smoothies, and people who care about you. You're a wonderful person, baby and deserve nothin' but the best. Don't you ever forget that. Check in once in a while and leave yo girl, Leitina a note or two so I know you doin' OK. All my love...
from f4sakndauter :
it's not nice to steal words from people's heads. but seeing as I have no motivation to get them back, I'll just let you keep them.
from caralynne :
(hugs you)
from raven72d :
Make a plan. Stop the binge thing. You have so much talent and intellect...
from nakedpride :
I agree with Anais... You have so much talent! SO MUCH!!! You are one of my favorite authors of all time. Where did all that happiness go? I miss it? I miss you. Please... You are worth so much. Your esteem should be sky-rocketing. It is your mind and soul that matters.. Everyone has issues with their material self. If you want to converse.. here is my email address- hutchinb@hotmail.com
from erato :
This is destructive, Rebecca. Instead of beinf dynamic and obliterating the issue you are rolling in your dissatisfactions and blowing up your short-comings. Until you get up out of that gutter and mobilize yourself, you are going to be that same person. So stop questioning. Stop asking people what they think. Just do it. Free yourself. Live for a change.
from raven72d :
But why?
from literatim :
I've misplaced you somehow; which shelf are you on now?
from raven72d :
Is the Land of the Dead like South Dakota? Do e-mail me...
from raven72d :
same e-mail... this name at yahoo...
from raven72d :
The problem with drunkeness, ecstasy, intoxication is that it allows you temporarily to believe that you can be part of a world where pleasures exist.
from raven72d :
Better alienation than (public) humiliation and living with the knowledge that you'll never again have a lover.

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