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when my hard drive shit out because of the virus, I lost the link to where you write now... don't suppose you could email it to me? whystinger"at"yahoo.com.

from nixtress :

Divorce is never easy, regardless of the circumstances in which either party leaves the marriage. Allow yourself time to take responsibility for the things that could have been done differently but don't beat yourself up about them. That doesn't solve a thing. He's not an innocent party in all this, otherwise you wouldn't be divorcing! Read back over some of your past entries---some of the things you noted show that he checked out of the marriage quite some time ago, whether that's something he realizes or not. Depression is such a soul-sucking thing and it affects more than just the person who carries it in their body. He has as much culpability in the split up as you do, sweets. Don't take on more than your fair share. And don't kick yourself forever. Everyone deserves happiness and peace.

from whystinger :

Document your divorce as it may help you and will also let me know what I can expect. I have not filed yet... good luck

from nixtress :

Goodness! A lot has happened since Batman died (the last entry I'd read!) I know the emotional rollercoaster that divorce is and I hope, for both you and your son, that it settles soon. If you need an ear, I'm willing to listen. And at some point, you'll have to dish on the new bf :)

from whystinger :

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a divorce. I truly know range of emotions you are feeling, as I am heading towards one. I tried to leave a guest book entry, but I don't think it took. Are you two on the same page? What I mean is, do you both agree? In my case, my wife is clueless. I still hope she will come to her senses to work on the marriage, but she has not. I will pray for you guys.

from whystinger :

Hermit crabs are also shell stealers. Sorry they don't last... try a different store. I wonder if that particular store has crappy crabs...

from whystinger :

I just dropped by to take a peek. Tough fight! Kinda similar to me... Been in therapy and she refuses to go. Therapist feels my wife is "not a happy person and is trying to make you responsible for her happiness." We did have some interesting parallels in our lives, don't we.

from rdhdprincess :

I hope everything goes well with the doctor and your son. Sending good wishes your way!

from whystinger :

You do sound frustrated and he sounds very smart, intelligent, that is. Remember how you respond to this is how you are training him to work you... so try not to be frustrated or at least don't show him. Hope all else is well

from nixtress :

You sound so frustrated. I'm sorry...I know how hard it can be trying to keep a marriage afloat when it seems destined to sink. Not having that connection makes it all the more difficult. Big hugs, lady. Sounds like you're doing the best you can.

from rdhdprincess :

That does sound very tiring, and hard. Raising a child is both the most difficult and the most rewarding thing I have ever done. You sound like a great Mother. I hope it gets easier. (And I totally would have kept reading Charlotte's Web, too!)

from whystinger :

Keep praying for guidence and patience. Boys are aggressive by nature, but some kids, including my Sis' oldest are perfectionists and I am a bit of one too, so you will have to coach him to deal with his anger. My Dad was really good with that with me, but... I was fifteen before my anger got the best of me and I learned the lesson. Yeah, my Dad had lots of patience. Your son is a good boy and a loving boy. Keep working with him. Watch the psychologists and make sure they advise you well. They should be giving you some "tools" to use with him and also be teaching him some "tools." I will remember you in my prayers.

from weetabix :

I sort of love that you said I was a cliche. Thanks!

from nixtress :

Have a great Thanksgiving!!

from nixtress :

Yay for de-cluttering! I completely know what you mean. I've hit a point where I feel like throwing or giving everything away---there's just too much taking up too much space! Glad to hear both sister and son are okay and glad to see an update :)

from nixtress :

I'm glad to hear you're doing okay. Strep can drain the heck out of you! Sounds like your summer was fun and full of all sorts of activity. Welcome back!

from rdhdprincess :

Yay! Glad to hear from you again. I'm glad to hear that Kindergarten is going well. I think it takes a while to get used to behaving there at first, I have several friends going thru the same thing. Hang in there!

from nixtress :

Hey! I've tried the whole "waiting patiently" thing and you still haven't updated...how are you doing over there? Hope life is just keeping you busy but wanted to let you know I'm beginning to worry!

from nixtress :

Happy Mother's Day!

from nerddette :

No good news I'm afraid ... 2 and a half years have gone and I'm still fighting for settlement on Wayne's estate. Everyone should have a will! :( t.

from mom-on-roof :

Wow. That stuff you wrote about your dad? I could've printed that out and sent it to MY dad and he would think I wrote it about him. Very strange the similarities. My dad works out every single day, and still runs circles around my brother and husband. He's only now thinking of retiring, at 65. Very frustrating, they have all that money and they continue to work themselves into the ground. Both my parents. I hope your mom can break through to your dad, go to the doctor!

from srch4balance :

Oh please update :P

from nixtress :

Yay! Congratulations :)

from serenaville :

Insurance companies are soulless, money-sucking, ass-raping vampires. It makes one wonder WHY we even have "insurance" at all, when they don't "insure" a damned thing anymore. It's all about their "bottom line". I am as outraged for you. The gits. They dodged a bullet, considering the lawsuit from hell you'd have waged, had anything happened to your child while they were playing God. Which is pretty damned ironic. F'in idolators. BAH. RANT. :/ *HUGS!!!*

from whystinger :

I am glad you are back!

from nixtress :

Locked down and left me out? Hope you're okay.

from nixtress :

Merry Christmas!

from nixtress :

Hope you're feeling better soon. Happy Belated Turkey Day :)

from nerddette :

Cliff notes on my blog: no longer dating that guy. Exam today. Parents in Canada. That's it - you're caught up ;) t.

from nixtress :

Hey, you. You locked up? Let me know if there's a password available. Hope everything's okay.

from rdhdprincess :

A crush as five years old. That is so sweet! What a sweetheart.

from nixtress :

Hey! You're blogging elsewhere? And you haven't shared with me? *insert whine here* Glad to see an update. I'd hate to see you go but it must be difficult to keep up two places. I have a hard time with one!

from rdhdprincess :

Oh! Don't make me cry at work! That was so sweet.

from mom-on-roof :

gulp. how do they come up with those things? I swear, God had a hand in it, it's her way of insuring we put up with all the tantrums and the mess and the general stickiness of having children.

from mom-on-roof :

I wish I hadn't seen that quote from our exalted leader in your diary, because I just can't take any more stupidity today. WHY do they ever let him speak on his own, WHY? Can't they just permanently install that earpiece in his head? I don't WANT to know how stupid he can be, I really don't. And kudos to you for not smacking down your idiot brotherinlaw. You have incredible composure skills.

from whystinger :

Guess what Sophie? You are not a freak of nature. I think everyone is pretty much like that to varying degrees... One of my testes is larger than the other, one of Honi's boobs is larger than the other and each one of us has one foot larger than the other. Honi may be a freak, cause her one foot that is larger seems to change each day - probably just water or swelling. Hope you have a great time on your trip.

from rdhdprincess :

I feel bad for your husband, too. That has to hurt. Take care.

from rdhdprincess :

I like you! We all have those days, sweetie. Good luck!

from rdhdprincess :

Me again! I was just re-reading your 2-13-04 entry just in case you are wondering who is reading old stuff. I think it's time for more! C

from rdhdprincess :

I don't think you're crazy sweetie! Stick with the exhausted theory. Hang in there! Mwah!

from nerddette :

Maybe you're pregnant! :D

from mom-on-roof :

It's a fine line, isn't it? I too am the token Nazi Feminist Liberal LOON on my hill. Only MY neighbors know all about my leanings. They like to invite me to barbeques and bate me with inflamatory chauvanistic or racial remarks. It is so hard being the voice of reason in a sea of ignorant red necks. Not that I enjoy mixing metaphors or anything. And not that I think I'm right about everything.

from nixtress :

Happy 4th of July weekend. I've missed your updates :) glad to see you back, even in bits.

from nerddette :

I know you wrote about the toys a while ago but I've been so busy I haven't read in a while. One idea for the toys is to break them up (not literally!) into three or so groups - each one containing a variety of toys. You pack two of the groups into a box each and store them. When your son tires of the toys he has in the room, you put out another set and pack up the current set - they react as though they're new toys! :) t.

from nimiiwin :

Thank you! I'll test it out! :)

from soverycherry :

I remember that movie, In the Mood! Did you ever see Loverboy? Can't Buy Me Love? Oh, he was hot then and he's sexy as hell now. I'd be so irritated with almost non-existant cream cheese on my bagels. I'm like you. Sometimes at work when I get a bagel out of the cold vending machine, I'll buy two just for the extra package of cream cheese! I meant to say yesterday that I am very glad to hear that your son has been well for the last little while; it goes without saying that I hope he stays that way. I really understand now how scary it is to see your baby go through that. I hope you have a good day!

from nimiiwin :

I love Grey's anatomy. Except ... every time I see Sandra Oh, I remember that she played a porn star on Six Feet Under! I don't know why I can't stop thinking about that!

from nimiiwin :

That is exactly what I needed right now. Thanks. Thanks very much. I think it's going to work out - I'm just having a hard time of it right now. I got a lead on a full time job and that will help alot since I won't be economically dependent on her. At least it will help my peace of mind. And our financial status, which isn't poor by any means, but we could always use another $40K a year, right? Thanks again for the sweet note.

from nimiiwin :

I agree - if we can't manage to be happy and healthy, then we need to separate. But this is an attempt to get to happy and healthy! Thanks for the book info.

from nimiiwin :

Thanks. I'd love to know the name of the book. I'm not opposed to Christian things - unless they get into the gay issue, but other than that I'm good.

from nimiiwin :

I'm SO envious of that hotel stay! I might have to do it soon.

from anonadada72 :

I've been computer-less for so long...I had no idea what was happening in your corner of the world. I'm so sorry for what you've been going through with your son. He'll be in my thoughts...sending healing energy his way. Sorry about your FIL's passing too. Wow, it really has been a tough time all around, huh? A big (((HUG))) to you...I hope things turn around soon.

from whystinger :

I am truly sorry to hear of your son's epilepsy. I am also sorry about your father-in-law. It is good that you sent your hubby to his family and both things are going to be hard on him and you. My nephew has epilepsy. Diagnosed at about ten and has been seizure free for many years, is eighteen now, driving for two years, getting ready to graduate from high school. If I remember right, the medicine adjustments were a pain in the beginning, then after were no problem. I also think I heard something about when the seizures happen younger and treated, less chance of adult seizures? I can't remember, but you all will be in my prayers.

from nimiiwin :

It actually makes sense that he's aggressive since anger is "managed" in the same part of the brain where seizures orginate. They commonly go together, but with the proper meds, he should be okay.

from nixtress :

My deepest sympathies to your husband. I really hope that this med helps your son. Have they figured out why this is cropping up so viciously, so suddenly? You mentioned that you thought this had been going on mildly for a little while but I wasn't sure how long that had actually been. Prayers to you and yours.

from soverycherry :

Gosh, now I feel like poo for complaining about my life; I'm not dealing with a fraction of the stress you are right now. I really hope they find something to help your son, I bet you're going out of your mind, I couldn't even imagine. I am so sorry. And how awful about your father-in-law's passing as well. I hope things improve soon. Take care.

from nixtress :

I'm so sorry to hear about more worrisome happenings in your life. I can only imagine how difficult and bleak things feel to you right now. You're a strong lady and things are going to look up soon. They have to! I would definately consult with your son's doctor as to what he recommends telling him about the condition. Sometimes, with some kids, telling them in black and white is a good thing. He's young, though, and alot of it might be too "far out" for him to crunch through. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

from mom-on-roof :

Sometimes there's nowhere to go but up, right? Been there. Maybe that's where I'm at now, and I'm too dense to know it. I'm sorry your guys are both having a rough time now. stay strong, gurl.

from nixtress :

I think anyone would be good and pissed when the needs of their child aren't being met. I hope that you've been able to find better care for your son and I'm hoping your family has some peace, of mind and spirit. Cuddle him up and love him tons.

from nimiiwin :

MY sister has epilepsy and she hasn't had a seizure in 14 years. With medication, they can do a pretty good job of controlling it. Good luck.

from mom-on-roof :

I'm wondering if we're running in some parallel universe together my sister, because yesterday Bean was diagnosed with epilepsy, petit-mal seizures, and put on 3-times-a-day medication for at LEAST the next 4 years. We'll deal with it, eh? I'm sorry you had such a terrifying time, discovering this in your son, and the poor kid, poked and jabbed, those little arms, I'm so sorry.

from soverycherry :

Scary! Wow. I hope everything turns out alright; you have a great attitude regarding the situation. And you're right - a lot of people deal with epilepsy on a daily basis. I hope your boy is holding up okay!

from im2evil4u :

Very scary and very controllable with the right meds... if it is epilepsy. My sister had gran-mal epilepsy and I have petit-mal so I am a bit of an expert (although my petit mal is only severe headaches and black outs) but if you need advice or a kind ear let me know.

from nixtress :

Oh my gosh! How scary and traumatic for both of you! I'm thinking about you and hoping for the best for your family.

from nimiiwin :

Until we moved to a town where there wasn't one, we went to a Unity church. Not to be confused with Unitarian Universalist, which might be an option for you, too. Check out "Unity: A Quest for Truth" by Eric Butterworth. It might be a good fit for you.

from mom-on-roof :

I love that. I can't wait to see who she becomes either. Keep us posted.

from whystinger :

Sorry you had to spend money on your ride. Taxes and plates are not the manufacturer's or service shop's fault. If you compare the skill levels needed to work on your car versus the skills to build your house, you would find the car service to be a bargain. My electrician bitched about the $195.00 (parts and labor) we charged him for his brake job, yet he charged me $1,000.00 for hooking up my electricity in the shop. He spent about three hours - so that is about $234.00 per hour for him, versus the $62.00 we charge. I find that interesting. I have to do about 40 hours of school each year to keep up with the technology and he doesn't...

from nimiiwin :

in a Mercury Grand-Marquis, you are definitely NOT invisible! :Grin:

from nimiiwin :

ARen't those the greatest moments of mommy-life? I love those snuggly moments. ;)

from nixtress :

Just write it out, chickie. That's what a diary is all about and you shouldn't feel closeted in your own space.

from nimiiwin :

Yes, we northerners are poor sports about it being warm anywhere in the world while it's freezing where we are! Ignore the lot of us. I can't say that Mcihigan has 4 distinct seasons. We seem to have: winter and Hell. For some reason, we've been having very short "spring" and "autumn" with really hot and humid short summers and lots of cold! :)

from nimiiwin :

I wanna know where you are that cedar is out now! It's still so cold here that we won't have any allergies for months to outdoor stuff!

from mom-on-roof :

Ha! You really know how to fill up a weekend, didn't have anything planned, so you became an AUNTIE!!! Congrats! We were the same way when my sister had her baby, filled up the waiting room, trampled all over everyone else, were noisy, nosy, and obnoxious, but so HAPPY, so OH WELL!! Very happy for you and your fam, and your son, the big COUS'!

from whystinger :

I'm sorry you had a bad day and things are tough. I hope the rest of the new year is good to you:)

from nimiiwin :

I wondered about that movie but I didn't watch it because he pitched her dog outside. Isn't that silly?

from mom-on-roof :

... a'singin' doo lolly lolly shickidoo shickidoo. Wednesday at three I called the phone company, singin' Hey Baby put a phone in for me. Thursday at four he came a' knockin' at my door singing Hey Baby I'm your telephone man ...

from mom-on-roof :

Awwww, thank you for your snotty-nosed, bored and irritated audblog-post, just for me! This sounds like a job for... DA DA DA DAAAAA! Liquor Store Man! Hope you and Boy Wonder feel better soon, Toots, be good to yourselves.

from mom-on-roof :

Oh great, your nose is all snotty, now I have to adjust how I read your entry. Did I tell you, now that I've heard your voice, I read your entries with your voice in my head. I am not a stalker. Am not. Now go get a better job where they appreciate you and give you great percs, like free croissant sandwiches, massages, and a little tent to nap in every afternoon around 2:00. It could happen!

from whystinger :

Cool new layout... Yeah, I've been away a while... I understand how you feel about being the one to always apologize... I don't understand WHY you have to be the first to apologize, but I understand, as Honi tries to make me be the one who apologizes first. Lately, I have refused unless it truly is my fault.... hope this finds you well:)

from hissandtell :

Hi - your amusing "voyeur" banner made me click, and I'm enjoying reading your entries (and I see we have some mutual buddies, too). Your writing is excellent and I've bookmarked your site to come back and visit again. Love, R xxx

from candoor :

you're new to me, I'm new to you, so happy new year :)

from mom-on-roof :

Thanks for the note! I think about you often, your diary rings out to me, for your honesty, I love that you never candy-coat anything. (Me, I'm a BIG candy-coater). And your audblogs, that is just about the BRAVEST thing I've ever seen (heard) on the internet, wish I could do that! If I tried it, my throat would lock up and I'd get a tiny, strangled little "SQUEAK!"

from nixtress :

Happy Belated Birthday!!!

from serenaville :

Happy belated birthday to you! Donny's b-day reminds me of my favorite quote about him, but I've already posted about that. Heh. Hope the time between this birthday and the next is filled with health, happiness, prosperity, and fondly held dreams realized! Have fun!

from nixtress :

Yep. It takes more than a good pounding to do it. Too bad so many think that's where it's at.

from nixtress :

I hope your Thanksgiving holiday is peaceful. Happy Turkeyday!

from mom-on-roof :

What a cute little, ornery little face, soooo adorable, probably gets away with murder. Your son ain't bad either. HA! Ha! Well. I thought it was funny. Your son's a doll.

from mom-on-roof :

Uh-mur-kins. That's funny. I'm no better than you. You're out there in the workforce. It's hard to face up to all this once you've made your views known. I'm safe at home with my couch and my bon-bons. I don't have to face the defeat. It still makes my stomach sick, but at least I don't have to watch any of the gloating and celebrating. I just turn off the tube. Good luck, hon.

from whystinger :

Thanks, I am glad you voted. I understand how you feel, but it IS SO important to vote and each vote DOES count. Just because everyone around you says they are republican doesn't mean they will vote that way. Even if Kerry loses, your vote will help send a message. Afterall, that is how Clinton got elected. Many republicans sent a message by either voting for Perot or Clinton... and it worked.