messages to camham:
(click here to add new message):

from lindzeeleigh :
Awww, this entry about Camden was precious. Loved it. How special this will be to have to look back on.
from alicesbaby :
Aw, that was lovely to read! What a big boy already, and such a sweet heart he has too! :)
from leebeenz :
Beautifu post. I can't believe that Camden is so big already. Time really flies by doesn't it and before you know it, our babies grow up. So pleased to see your post. :)
from alicesbaby :
Hi Heather! I put your blogspot blog on my Blogger favourites, which shows me any time one of my favourite blogs updates, but it isn't showing when you update. I think it has to do with it being a private blog? So, I'm sorry I keep forgetting to check you! I will go and catch up! xx
from mymemry :
Hi there! I'm not sure how to get into your new blog. I'd love to get in though. My email if you don't have it handy is [email protected]
from leebeenz :
I would love to be invited to read your new blog. My email is leebeenz AT yahoo DOT com
from lindzeeleigh :
You need to invite me to read your new blogspot now. it says I can't read unless invited by you. Here is my email: lindzeeleigh at hotmail dot com. Looking forward to reading!
from lindzeeleigh :
hugs to you!! If I was you, I would take it. In fact, I was on effexor for a few years, but am no longer. It can help for when you do need it. :) Thinking of you!!
from mymemry :
I have one more thing to add to the note I just wrote. Maybe the Lord is allowing this season of taking medication in your life to change your heart on the subject. YOU KNOW, as a counselor that some of your patients may need medication. What you are saying right now while you won't take it is that "I don't need it, I need to deal with stuff on my own" So you would tell your patients the same?? NO - you would do as you did with your friend - encourage her to follow her doctor's advice and take it!
from mymemry :
I understand your thoughts about dealing with the root issues. I also understand your fear/emotions when things like the knife incident happen. It sounds like he is a curious child and maybe doesn't believe you when you tell him something is dangerous. My two don't seem to notice where I keep the scissors, or the knives, or cleansers. They just don't pay too much attention. When they DO though, I'll look at them sternly and say "You are not to touch this!" "Do you understand why?" And I tell them. I'm sure you do that too - but Cam seems more assertive and independent. Maybe you can make a deal with him. Maybe think of a craft or project where he DOES get to use tools/knives in a constructive way under supervision. Maybe Ryan could do something with him. Sometimes James lets Nathan hammer stuff with him, help with the screwdriver, etc. Maybe he needs some 'fake' swords, plastic boyscout type play knives, pretend play stuff? I don't know how you feel about all that. I'm thankful that he didn't cut himself. I guess he climbs up on the counter and such? Maybe he needs to be 'caught' in an act. If you try to catch him when he is being naughty and scare the stew out of him when you say "CAMDEN!", he'll realize it is not fun to sneak around and be naughty? I know you are not spanking him, so I am trying to think of ways to really deter his wrong choices. As for the medication - I wish you could just give it a try and not think about it so much. Just take it for a specified time (maybe say 3 months if you don't like 6 months!) And take it, EVERYDAY, regardless of how you feel. Then make a decision in 3 months whether you want to remain on it or get off. I would RIGHT NOW take something if I was doing everything I know to do. I am not getting up in the am like I need to in order to spend time in prayer/ in the Word. I am not disciplined around the house. I'm lazy and selfish most the day. Very little quality time with the kids right now. I just have them go and do their thing. BUT I DON'T want to be this way. I would take medication in a heartbeat if I was making better decisions and still felt this way! I know what I need to do to get better. It involves sacrifice. Sacrificing MY sleep, MY desires, MY alone time, ME, ME, ME. I'm so caught up in ME, that I am quite unhappy. But I know what is going on and so I feel that I need to step up to the plate and do what I need to do. But maybe I can't. Maybe I need something to help me step up to the plate. Maybe I am lacking seratonin or norepinephrine in my brain and no matter how hard I try, I won't be able to do it! I don't know. I haven't tried to give it my all. I haven't prayed and really asked the Lord to help me. I just keep giving it shot in the dark and not getting anywhere. A cycle. Not exactly where I want to be. But - you've gone to talk to someone. You've thought it out. You've tried. You take that medication, Missy!! RIGHT NOW! You know I love you Heather. I think you didn't stay on it long enough to make the decision whether it is a good idea or not. Let the issue of whether or not it is a good idea GO for awhile and heed the advise of the person who prescribed it. The Lord allowed you to go see this person, allowed this person to put you on Zoloft. It is OK. Do you think of yourself as a failure if you go on it? Are you ashamed of being labeled as 'needing' medication to make it? I've said it before and I'll say it again - YOU are trying to make your life better - for you, for your family. You are the one who is RIGHT in seeking help. Now take the help that has been given to you and give it a try (not a week or 2 but for an extended period of time). Love you. Julie
from lindzeeleigh :
I think that you are making the right decision to keep taking it. And i like that your counselor said that the meds are only a small piece of the pie. I believe that is so true. Keep hanging in there and know things will get easier.
from mymemry :
I think that you've made a smart decision. I guess I see it as 'seasons' we go through - some are quite rough. We can go through them alone and suffer silently and try to weather the storm, or we can get some help. This small dose sounds like it may be JUST what you need right now during this season of your life. I think that dealing with issues period is more courageous than trying to ignore them and stuff them. I tip my hat to you.....
from nickyslilone :
big hugs hun, acceptance is the first step xx
from leebeenz :
I'm sorry that you have to take medication, knowing how you feel about it, but I am so so glad that you ARE taking it when it is making you feel better. Hopefully things will continue to keep getting better for you.
from nickyslilone :
I know it's hard but just take each day as it comes, when I went on meds I just took them, I was fed up of feeling so awful, I just wanted to feel better. i'm still on them now, six months later, and the doc spoke to me about reducing my dose in 6 weeks time and then after a bit longer stopping them altogether. I've not really thought about that yet! Don't think about what you don't need to xxx *big hugs*
from lindzeeleigh :
I think you are doing the right thing. There is nothing wrong with saying and knowing you need some extra help and doing what it takes to make things better. Try to keep taking the meds and see if you feel they are helping you. Don't worry about taking them forever, just worry about feeling better today and tomorrow and one day at a time. Hugs to you and hang in there!!
from mamabean :
That's a nice small dosage and I think with your background/knowledge and your reticence to even take it, you'd do fine on it. You'd know what to look for, you'd be looking forward to getting off of it again (soonish) and you'd know if it was doing the trick for you. I wish I'd gone to see someone 8 mos ago and perhaps allowed myself to try meds for a bit. Feels like I've lost a bit of my life to this haze/tension I've lived in since M was born. I'm getting better now, through a LOT of new and improved thinking and self-analysis, but it'd have been better to have expedited it with professional guidance, I think. I say try it out. No harm in that. Have a great trip, by the way.
from alicesbaby :
Heather, I have just caught up with your posts this last month and I'm sorry I hadn't seen them sooner and offered my support and hugs when you needed them! I really don't know what to say about it though, right now, because I am tired out and my head is full of mush and I can't think of anything helpful to say. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, rooting for you, and praying for you. *hugs* xxx
from mymemry :
I think that if you're doing everything you know you should be doing and you've tried everything else you know to try and it's still not working that you have nothing to lose to try it. There have been several times in my life that I think maybe I need to get on medication for depression/anxiety/excess stress, etc., but each of those times I realized I wasn't doing my job (getting enough rest, eating right, spending adequate time in the Word, praying, good communication with hubby, spending my time wisely) - you know what I mean. Each of those times I found something that I needed to change before making the decision to go see about medication. I started staying off the computer (I get SOOOO distracted by it), or started spending more 'quality' time with the kids, or went to bed at 9pm several nights in a row. Prayed more. So far, things have fallen into place each time - but I know that there may come a time when they don't - and I have to seek outside help in the form of counseling, or medication. So I guess my point is that if you are looking for a fix it when you need to fix something yourself, don't expect it to be a cure all. If you are doing everything you can already and still failing = by all means TRY IT OUT!! I think of it like this. If someone needs to lose weight and wants to go get their stomach operated on without changing their lifestyle, they will be in for trouble in the days ahead.
from tequilamonky :
I'm so sorry I haven't been writing here much. Just wanted to quickly write to say I have been reading and am thinking of you every day. You are such a strong, positive person. Everything you need to move forward and fel happy is there within you I just know it. Lots of love to you and your boys, I promise to coment more once we've moved and I'm back online. Hugs xxxx
from lindzeeleigh :
Glad you are having such a great day. :) Try and keep your chin up! I think you are doing all the right sorts of things to help yourself. Keep on keeping on!
from nickyslilone :
I completely know what feeling you are talking about, I remember having it for a few days around the time Jonathan was home with me and Robert after he was born and I knew he'd be back at work soon! I'm glad it's gone and you're feeling a bit better xx
from mamabean :
I know those days. I'm thinking of you!
from mamabean :
I can't think of much to say that would help right now because I'm in the exact same place you are. I'm going to read what others have written to you to see if maybe their words will help me, too! I can say that you are NOT alone, and you're not "broken," for feeling as you do, unless I'm broken too. Although I must say this is the closest I've EVER been to seeking some sort of professional help. See why I don't comment more often? Sorry! :)
from lindzeeleigh :
Good for you for trying to keep up a positive attitude, even when it clearly isn't easy. Enjoy your course tomorrow! p.s. you are more than welcome. :)
from mymemry :
Hey sweet Heather! I first want to share with you that I am alone in the house. The kids are in different states in their grandparents loving arms and my husband had to drive to Pensacola and will be back in a few hours. Somehow, someway, I think getting a little 'personal' time everyday for myself BEFORE the kids get up is so necessary for me to have the right mindset going into the day. What I really need to do is get on my face before the Lord, DAILY, and ask Him to direct my path, and give me the Love and Grace and Mercy needed to raise my kids that day. Not everyday, but one day at a time. Your statement: "It is so funny because when I am watching them battle each other things seem so clear to me, but when I am the one fighting the battle, I lose all vision." - AHHH. That really is true. So true. The problem for me is that I allow my emotions to come out and BAM - I'm in the battle instead of seeing everything clearly. Maybe next time I could take a pause before engaging. STOP and go think for a minute before responding. When I've prayed and given the day to the Lord, I am more aware of the little 'trials' that may come up and I am really looking out for them and determined to handle them well. But if I'm all tired and not really all here (mentally, emotionally, etc) then I am more self focused and prone to reaction instead of proaction. Just me - but maybe you are the same way. It takes work - mentally. God's word says that we have to renew our mind (DAILY!!!) I am not doing this at this time, but I need to! So bad!! The times that I do get up before them and pray and read God's Word are so few and far between, but I know for FACT that they are better than the other days. I am a weak individual without the Lord's strength. You also said something about these times with the children being 'fleeting'. Yes! So true, but for whatever reason we can't quite get that in our head enough to make much of a difference in our behavior. At least mine... I'm hoping this reprieve will be a tool the Lord uses to make me a better wife and mother. I just wanted to share what was on my heart after reading your entries. Thanks for sharing and I'll be thinking about you on Saturday. From the outside looking in - I think it will be a great time for you to get away. Try to look forward to it, enjoy it even! Take good care of you. Love Julie
from lindzeeleigh :
Good positive entry, Heather. :) Keep hanging in there and try to enjoy these days, because as you said they just seem to go by so fast. Know that I am thinking of you!
from lindzeeleigh :
I wish I had some words of advice for you. Instead I will send big hugs from across the internets!! If you are worried that you have PPD, maybe go and talk to your doctor and see what he/she recommends or has to say. Thinking of you!
from mymemry :
I'm glad you and Cam had some one on one time together! That ALWAYS helps!!! Nathan was so young when Ava was born that he just accepted the new addition and changes that came. Camden is old enough to protest a bit! My siser (almost 4 years older than me) put a baby doll in the oven when I was a week old and said it was "Julie".......
from lindzeeleigh :
I just caught up on your two posts now and wanted to say I am glad you feel better about things. Raising little people sure isn;t easy and I know you are doing the best you can do and trying all the right things and that is what counts. I am happy just you and Camden got to spend some time together alone, I bet that will really help. Thinking of you!
from mamabean :
Have you ever read any of John Rosemond's books? He's always been my go-to guy for behavioral stuff. Other than that, I always wonder if a kid's maybe not getting enough sleep when they really start acting up. I keep meaning to mention that to Alice, too.
from alicesbaby :
Heather, I soooo sympathise! Arthur is going through this too right now, and frustratingly, Matthew is almost as bad. The way you're describing Camden is pretty much a description of Arthur in his behaviour, except that he doesn't hit out so much, but he acts ANGRY a lot and has a really bad attitude with Neil and I. We spank. How many times? A heck of a lot of times. We spank as a consequence for disobedience, rudeness, disrespect, etc, and since that happens a lot of the day, they get a lot of spankings. It's demoralising when it seems like it's not working anyway, but honestly we feel like we've tried everything else (except for reward charts, we never did get around to trying those). I researched for myself and tend to agree with the Godly discipline methods that Julie mentioned. We go to the heart of the matter, and I have NOT been good at this for the last few months with the hormones working against me - I am too angry in my own responses to their behaviour, and that is something I'm doing wrong. But consistency is the key. If you're going to spank, you MUST spank for each and every act of disobedience or attitude issues, like Julie said. Catch it as it starts rather than once you're fending off blows from him. That applies for even if you decide on a method thath does not involve spanking. My heart goes out to you! I know how hard it is, and I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone - I'm right in the thick of it with you at the moment. xxx
from mymemry :
Heather, I can only share with you what we do here with Nathan and Ava in terms of spankings. There are some WONDERFUL books out - Sheparding a Child's Heart, Dare to Discipline, Raising Godly Tomatoes. Yes, all these resources involve spanking as a part of discipline and I guess the first thing you need to do is pray about your feelings about spankings. I know that if you feel guilty about giving him spankings he will pick up on that and that is NOT good. All the books centered on Godly discipline say to avoid trying to just change behavior and go for the heart issues. Asking questions and getting to the heart of the matter. Their behavior will change once their heart changes. I've found that it is the hardest thing EVER to do it all the time. Every little frown, angry look, stomping feet, every single act of disobedience needs to be addressed. Not just with spankings, but correction with words and such. For some time now, since we've moved, I need to 'start over' with them. Ava has been naughty lately and Nathan has started to get mouthy to us. I know with my kids that if I yell, spank when I am angry, and don't have complete control over myself that I am feeding anger into them and it'll come right back out at me. For me, the key is to not allow much to happen before acting on it. I don't wait till they've pushed all my buttons to finally do something about it. I need to address each situation as it occurs and have a clean slate all the time. As for spankings - Try going to this website and seeing what you think http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/ch08.asp Ava needs help eating her cream of wheat. I'll be back later!! xoxo julie
from leebeenz :
I am so pleased that everything is okay!!!!
from tequilamonky :
Yay!!!That's such great news! For the record both my little ones are peanut heads but that's because I am too and we're all fine...ish ;) I do find it crazy how many paediatricians in America reccommend weaning early... these guys are meant to be experts! I used to find it so frustrating on my FF birth board! Hope the nose sucker thingy is back in retirement for you guys soon xxxxxx
from lindzeeleigh :
I am so glad that Vann is okay. That must be such a relief for you. I hope all the colds are gone soon, that is no fun. and YAY for staying home, I am happy that you guys all sound so happy. :)
from tequilamonky :
Thinking of you and your littlest boy, hope the appointment shows him to be the fine and healthy boy you know him to be and that nothing needs be done xxxxxxx
from lindzeeleigh :
Glad to hear the sleep training is going so much better. I know he is going to be a good sleeper in no time because you are being so diligent about it. Good for you. :) Although that does suck that you are going to get your period back so soon this time. Glad the boys are doing well. Love the new pics!!
from lindzeeleigh :
i am glad that the transition went so well and that you made your decision to stay home. I think it will be the right choice for you, as you sound so happy and content about it. I think we need to see some more pics of Vann!
from mamabean :
Blargh. I'm glad the boys will have you to care for them... wish you could work part time, though. You'll still keep at it with the hours at your office?
from lindzeeleigh :
i am glad you guys made a decision and are stick to it. It sounds like the right choice for your family and that you are happy with it. You will go back to work one day when Vann is a little bit older and it will all work out. :) Thinking of you!
from mamabean :
... I love you! And so it begins. I look forward to listening to you as you make your final decision. xoxox
from lindzeeleigh :
Loving the update. :) Things seem to be so well for you, mom of two adorable boys! Good luck with going back to work, it will happen how it is supposed to. :) xo
from lindzeeleigh :
Aw, Camden is so sweet to Vann! His little comment on the phone is just too cute. I know you will get work sorted out in time. It will all work out how it is supposed to. I loved the pics of Vann on fb!!
from lindzeeleigh :
Aw, Little Vann sounds so precious. :) I think you need to post some more pics of his scrumptiousness! :P Glad your family of four is doing so well!
from tequilamonky :
Any update from you is lovely even a short one ;) Lovely to hear all about your newest boy! Hope Vann carries on being a good little boy for his mummy :D
from theflyingrat :
So sweet! He is absolutely adorable. xoxo
from lindzeeleigh :
Love the photos! So adorable. I can't wait to see more. :) That is awesome about the two counseling appointments!
from leebeenz :
Gorgeous! And how grown up does Camden look?!
from leebeenz :
That was an amazing birth story. I am so happy for you that you Vann's birth was everything that you wanted. You should be so proud of yourself.
from lindzeeleigh :
Beautiful entry, Heather! You have left me feeling inspired. Well done, Mama!!
from nickyslilone :
What a wonderful entry! Well done, you must be so proud of yourself x
from tequilamonky :
Oh honey that was beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so proud for you for everything your acheieved and so happy you got to experience the wonder of a vaginal birth. It was all down to you you know, you are amazing! You made your decision and you saw it through. CONGRATULATIONS!!!
from tequilamonky :
Oooh I don't know how I managed to miss your last entry, I've been hoping for news and yet missed it! I'm sure everyone said the same as I will now... just chill out and enjoy your babymoon! You did so amazingly well, I'm super proud of you! Just relish in that and enjoy your gorgeous new boy and getting used to being a family of four :)
from mamabean :
Yes, you will get into a rhythm again. The visitors will get back to their own lives, and you'll begin to feel better and be able to SEE things clearly again and organize your life a bit. You have a newborn, who will remain a bit of a wild card for awhile, as you know. And things with Camden will be up and down and up and down and you WILL have guilt -- that part it seems is inescapable. And at least for me, figuring out how to balance both children AND connect with your husband again will take, well, so FAR, six months. I'll tell you when I get there. You are younger than I am, and seem much more capable of adjusting and assimilating than am I, so you will probably get back to "normal" more quickly. Expect highs and lows, feelings of YES I CAN, and OH NO I CAN'T back and forth for awhile. BE GENTLE AND FORGIVING OF YOURSELF, HEATHER. This is a GIANT, HUMONGOUS transition. The biggest by far that I have ever been through in all of my 41 years and I've been through some pretty big stuff. So you will need to look at life as a continuum. Here's where you are now and here's where you're going. Overall, are you gettin' there? Despite daily setbacks and all the FREAKIN' CHAOS (ohmyword the chaos is the worst part, for me), are you making progress? And you will be. It will be hard to see on many, many days, but you will be moving forward, and that's how you have to look at it. (That's something Al has to remind me of daily.) Now. I want to see more pictures when you have time. And I am excited to read your birth story. And. BIG HUGS. Well done. Hang in there. Rest. Relax. Be forgiving and gentle on yourself. Remember that you are giving Camden a GIFT in his baby brother, and he may have to make small sacrifices now, but overall, he's going to have something so important that it will far overshadow anything he suffers in the short-term.
from arthursmummy :
I know it is so disorientating at first! *hugs* I particularly identified with the weird vision thingy and the total exhaustion from just TALKING to someone, even on the phone. I would feel dizzy and breathless and exhausted just sitting on my butt and talking on the phone sometimes, in the early weeks - especially the first week or so. I don't know if it's anxiety, but I would bet it's plain old exhaustion, and a good sign to flake out lying down somewhere with your eyes closed when that happens again. A sandwich made by a sweet hubby is also a good thing! :) I can't remember about how long I felt exhausted and post-birth-ish, because those days and weeks end up as a bit of a blur that are hard to remember properly for me. I think WEEKS though - Leebeenz said the first 6 weeks - I have heard that too. I also read on a blog where the mama has NINE children, that even though she wants to be up and at 'em from asap after giving birth, she now knows to rest and let other people do as much as possible for her. She says that if she doesn't REST for the first 2 weeks completely, and take it easy for the rest of the first 6 weeks, she takes a long time to recover all her energy in the months that follow. If she does rest up in that time properly, she's usually doing fine by 6 weeks postpartum. I did that last time, and I think I recovered faster (though Neil was home so that helped!). You're still so early on yet. Focus on resting, sleeping, eating, nursing and cherishing your boys. That is all! If visitors don't mess those things up too much, let them visit. If they do, restrict the visitors. Our rule was only one visitor per day, and that was only to be for an hour at most. I would be exhausted and need a nap (and vocalise this to the visitor) after they'd been here an hour or so, and they'd leave very understanding and glad to let me rest. We'd tell people asking to visit that we already had visitors on such-and-such a day, so how about the next day? They were very understanding. Hang in there Heather! You will all adjust. Normal won't be as you knew it, but the new normal will come, and it will be wonderful, I promise. You'll be so glad of it! xx
from leebeenz :
Yes, what you are feeling is totally normal! They say to give yourself six weeks to start feeling back to 'normal' and I know that I needed every single day of those six weeks. Your body as gone through so much and you really need to let it recover. And I would be really annoyed with having visitors all the time. You can't relax and let your boy recuperate when you are entertaining others. As hard as it may be, you need to tell people that now is not a good time to visit. I would make sure the door is locked and then write a note and tape it to the front door telling visitors that mummy and baby are sleeping, please telephone later in the day to arrange a visiting time. That way you don't have to physcially tell people that you aren't up for visitors (as I know how difficult that can be), but they should still hopefully get the message that now is not a good time. I can't wait to hear your birth story as it was obviously an amazing experience.
from lindzeeleigh :
CONGRATS! [I know I already commented on fb on all your pics, but I wanted to say it again!!] LOVE his name and he is so adorable. Way to go Heather!
from arthursmummy :
Oh you can not possibly imagine how proud I am of you right now!! :) I'm so thrilled for you that YOU DID IT!!! You had your VBAC at home!! Well done, and huge congratulations on your beautiful baby boy. I can't wait to see pics. I am another one in AWE of your "Well folks, I'm 9cm!" post!!!! I was wailing like a banshee at 9cm and incapable of even moving an inch on command, let alone to update a diary, haha! You did so great! No stitches too, even with that big head! Wow. I just think you are amazing. Well done! xxxx
from mamabean :
CONGRATULATIONS AND WELCOME TO OUR WORLD LITTLE MR. VANN KAI! I can't wait to see pictures and I am so incredibly impressed and proud of you for gettin' the job done, Heather. YOU RAWK.
from leebeenz :
Congratulations!! I am so pleased that everything went so well. I can't wait to see pictures of little Vann. Well done you!
from tequilamonky :
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Welcome to the World little Vann Kai (loving the name!) you are a very lucky boy with wonderful parents and brother there for you. Heather, you are wonderful! I'm so proud of you I just knew you could do it!!! Yay!!!
from leebeenz :
Oh my gosh, by the time I write this, you probably would have had you wee baby boy!
from lindzeeleigh :
Can't wait to hear all the details and see pics of your new little man. Have a great birth, I know it will go well!
from mymemry :
YOUR 9cm????? Are you able to stand the pain without any medicine???? I am in AWE!!!! Nathan and I JUST prayed for you two!!! Today is my MIL's birthday and Blossom's birthday too - remember Blossom? Well anyway, we're thinking of you. xoxo Julie
from nickyslilone :
I hope that naughty Vann of yours comes out to say hello soon! Sounds like things are on their way - my contractions were regular on and off the day before I went into labour. Crossing my fingers for you sweety! x
from tequilamonky :
Woooohoooo!! Soo excited! Sending vibes and thinking "push push push" You can do it girl!!!!!
from tequilamonky :
Oooh exciting stuff! All sounds very promising! From what I've been told an induced labour is much more regular and stronger than a natural labour so don't be surprised if it's stops and starts a bit at first. Thinking of you and sending all the labour vibes I can!!!
from leebeenz :
Wow, sounds like things are starting! With my labours, the contractions gradually built, giving my body time to get used to the pain. And there was always a beginning, a peak and an end, although by the time both girls were ready to be born, the contractions were pretty much on top of eachother. I can't wait to hear all about your labour, hopefully very soon!
from lindzeeleigh :
Hang in there! It will happen soon, I just know it! And then you will be holding beautiful baby Vann!
from mamabean :
Hang in there! My labor with Matthew was so different than with Bean. I wasn't even sure I was in labor. You just never know. Thinking of you and sending you healthy, wonderful labor and delivery vibes for, you know, whenever he decides to come on out.
from mymemry :
Good Morning Heather! I'm thinking that today will be the day! Are you having any contractions at all??? I'm sure that whatever name yall choose for him will fit him just right! I'm praying for a safe delivery with a healthy mama and new baby boy! Down, set, hike! Come on baby!!!! It's time to make a touchdown into your loving mama's arms. She's awaitin for you. Oh Heather, kiss his soft baby head for me and nuzzle him just for me after you finish all your nuzzling and loving (or at least when you take a break from it!)
from tequilamonky :
Kai is lovely! Kai and Vann are also very differant names for differant boys so I'm sure once he's born you'll be able to see which name is right. Maybe he wasn't sure about Vann himself and he's been waiting for you to come up with another option ;) Sending more speedy labour vibes!!! Evening primrose oil (one in the mouth, one opened and the oil put up inside ...sorry tmi!) is meant to really help too. xxxx
from leebeenz :
Wow, he must be comfy - I was sure this would be a birth announcement! And I think you will just have to wait and see what this little guy looks like to settle on a name. But I always think that as you do all of the work during the birth, the final say should be yours!! ;)
from lindzeeleigh :
Can't wait to meet you little Vann and neither can your mummy, so make your grand entrance! :)
from mymemry :
It is time! I mean really!!! Let's go big boy! Not too big!! I will be praying for you. Please update as you can. I will be praying for you to have a sweet peace that eases your mind, that you will be able to handle the discomfort and that it won't cause you to lose focus, and that he will be in the right position and that those who are with you will know just how to take care of your needs. I pray that the Lord will protect you and your new little boy. xoxo Julie
from leebeenz :
When I saw you had updated, I thought we might get to see your new wee boy. Obviously he likes where he is just fine! Hopefully the midwife can get things going for you.
from alicesbaby :
Wow, 41 weeks - I can't believe how fast your pregnancy has zipped by! I feel for you - Matthew kept me waiting till 41 weeks too. I'm SO EXCITED about your birth plans, and I'm praying for you so much right now that everything goes beautifully and is a wonderful experience for you! xxx
from mamabean :
LOL. What's involved in this birth thing. You crack me up. Come on little guy, head down, now. :)
from tequilamonky :
Sending loads of labour vibes your way hon! He won't keep you waiting too much longer, promise xxx
from mymemry :
Heather - I am checking in, how are things?? I hope by now you've had the baby! I'll check facebook! xoxo Julie
from tequilamonky :
Oooh I thought this would be a birth announcement ;) So sorry about your car being broken into! That's just rotten! I hope they catch whomever did it! That's fabulous news about the office space! So exciting :) I reckon your new baby boy knew that you needed some time to sort your work and spend time with your Cami and that's why he's taking his time. xxxx
from lindzeeleigh :
I can't believe your due date has come and gone already. It seems like your whole pregnancy has just flown by! I hope that you get to meet your little [or not so little?!] Vann soon. :) Camden will be a wonderful big brother and you will build so many more precious memories now as a family of four. :)
from mamabean :
I've been thinking about you! I'm glad you checked in. Keep us posted and don't forget to take one last belly shot while you still can, okay? I forgot to do that with Peabody.
from leebeenz :
Oh my gosh, I thought you still had a whole week to go before your due date! Where the heck has the time gone. I guess I am going to be excitedly checking for updates over the next week!! Good luck. Oh and I would love to see a full term baby belly pic! :)
from leebeenz :
I can't believe you are 38 weeks along!! After being away for 3 weeks, coming back and reading your 38 week post was crazy! I can't wait to see your newest wee boy. And is there another belly picture coming soon?!!
from lindzeeleigh :
38 weeks?! Baby could come at any time now! It all seems to have gone by so quickly. I will be thinking of you at your appointment so keep us posted!
from tequilamonky :
Good to hear you're feeling better. I too wish you a super chilled baby, sounds like bliss ;) Very exciting that it could be any day now!
from mamabean :
Oh I know how you're feeling! I know, I know. For some reason it was all so much easier for me the first time, probably because I could baby myself more, physically and emotionally. This is such a time of expectation and worry and anticipation, joy and fear and everything in between. I think these emotions you just sortof have to give in to, open yourself to, almost like you have to do with labor/contractions. I guess it's like your mental/emotional labor, almost? And you just ride the waves, let the emotions do their work of preparing you for this little boy's birth and first few months. Does that sound crazy? I'm thinking of you. I have every confidence that you're going to have an amazing birth this time and that you'll be happier and more at peace in the subsequent weeks and months because of it. Praying for you!
from lindzeeleigh :
I am sorry you are not doing so well these days. :( I hope you are able to get some much needed rest this weekend and that you can talk to Ryan and tell him how you are feeling. I am glad that Camden is being so sweet, that is so good, especially right now. I am thinking about you and sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers for a successful delivery, just how you want it. :)
from nickyslilone :
Awww hun you will do fine! I'm sure Cam will help out lots too. Have faith in yourself, you will be amazed! xx
from alicesbaby :
I can't believe you're almost there!!! So wonderful that everything looks good with you and the baby, and you're set for your homebirth, yay!
from lindzeeleigh :
Happy New Year to the [almost!!] four of you!! :)
from lindzeeleigh :
I am getting excited to "meet" your little Vann Aidan!! :) Glad to hear that everything is going so well.
from tequilamonky :
Aw wow it's all so exciting! 36 weeks! How did that go by so fast, just two more weeks and the baby would be considered full term if he arrived. It all sounds very positive and I feel sure that this time you will have the birth you would like. Sending smooth and speedy labour vibes your way :)
from alicesbaby :
Phew, that was really long - sorry! ;) I forgot to add about the tuna melts - careful how much tuna you eat while pregnant! I LOVED tuna, sweetcorn and mayo sandwiches last pregnancy and was told not to eat more than two portions of tuna per week, due to the mercury issues. I think that's the general rule, but you might find an exact thing about how many oz you can eat safely per week if you google. I hated having to limit myself! :S
from alicesbaby :
Catching up! I'm sorry I have missed your diary for a few weeks! Oh you are NOT a bad mommy at all! *hugs* You care so much about doing the right thing for Camden and you love him so much - you can't possibly be a BAD parent! I agree with the other girls though, definitely set aside some time with Ryan where Camden isn't around (asleep, maybe?) and have a big discussion (or several smaller ones) laying out your plans for discipline and various other child-rearing goals. You have to be on the same page, whatever it is you decide upon, and those things never go down well discussed in front of the little ones. Arthur is also impossible at times right now, and I wonder about the testosterone/age thing. I have to say though, right or wrong, we don't make allowances for it. He still has to learn to behave and obey us. He does NOT obey us and respect us a lot of the time, but there are NOT FUN consequences for each and every incidence of that. We're slacking on consistency and I reckon that's why we're not seeing better fruit! I hope. A lot of the time I don't know what I'm doing and worry that we're messing him up for life, I think that's part of parenting a child (especially a rambunctious boy or two!). We spank here, and also do time-outs. One thing I wanted to comment on from an entry even further back that you wrote, was about the time-out for Camden when you talked with him about ways to make it easier for him. I LOVE how you are so anxious to meet his needs and never do wrong by him! We once had a couple who have 4 teenagers round to help us talk about discipline. Their kids turned out wonderful and we watched them bring them up and liked how they did it. They told us that discipline HAS to be unpleasant, or it's not discipline. I totally agree. I would not be letting a child get involved in which way he would like to be disciplined, or what might make it a less unpleasant experience. He has to really dislike it for it to be a motivation to stop the behaviour he's there for! Arthur also hates the door shut in time-out, so we are ALWAYS sure to shut the door, even when he's throwing himself around screaming about it. He doesn't get to come out till he's calmed down and stopped making all that fuss, even if that takes him way past his minutes for the original time out. We have less of that crazy fuss now as a result! I have learned that my kids need to know that I am BOSS, they do not get any say. We do carefully explain everything so they always know what to expect, and they are in control of their decision as to HOW to behave, so as to avoid the disliked discipline, but things have improved a lot since Neil and I have become a single unit on the discipline methods and how they're carried out, and not shown any concern for tantrums, just carried through with the expected consequence, so they learn that it happens no matter how they thrash and fuss about it. Also, have you tried Super Nanny's Back to Bed technique? If you Google it you might find out more about it, otherwise I could email you with more info on it. It works and it's gentle and calm, but it's hard to start with! Hang in there, mama! You're doing a good job! xxx
from lindzeeleigh :
I am so sorry to hear that you had such a rough night with Camden. :( you are not a bad parent at all, I think you are trying to do the best you can do and it is definitely not easy. Keep trying to talk to Ryan and figure out something you can agree on for Camden. I am thinking of you and hope you have a wonderful Christmas holidays and all the best to you in the new year!
from tequilamonky :
merry xmas :) aw honey i really felt for you reading that. i can't write loads cause of stpid onscreen keyboard but just wanted to say hang on in there. it read to me like one of those things that happens at the end of a long day when everyone is tired. as exciting and wonderful xmas is it disrpts the routine and leaves kids overwrought. jaya was just horrible that day too but luckily she had her tantrums in the morning and after some time in her room to calm down she was okay for the rest of the day. It read to me like cam would have settled had it just been you dealing with him, I think he began reaccting to the argument and tension he could sense between his parents. Kids pick up on these things and it can't have helped you to take control of the situation with a constant feeling that your husband didn't agree with your methods. I think you and ryan need to sit down (some calm time when Cam is in bed) and have a good discussion about child rearing. You need to come to some sort of agreement about what you are doing as when the moments arise you need to both be coming from the same place. You know I'm with you when it comes to no spanking, but it seems like Ryan really doesn't understand why it's so important to you. I can send you some sources to back up your arguments if you like but please rest assured Cam will not grow up badly behaved through not being spanked! My brother and i were never spanked and we were very well-behaved teenagers ;) Hang on in there sweetheart, as long as you and Ryan can both be on the same side and stand firm you'll be fine. The other thing to remember is that boys go through a huge surge of testosterone at age 4, this increases their aggression but also leaves them feeling out of control with their emotions. You'll get through it honey xxxx
from lindzeeleigh :
AWwww, happy 4th birthday, Camden! What a lovely note you wrote him. :)
from arthursmummy :
I'm a day late! I'm sorry! Happy belated birthday to Camden! I hope he had a wonderful day. I love the photos on the birthday entry - he's so handsome! I can't believe we have four-year-olds, soooo crazy!
from mamabean :
AW! So sweet, Heather. Happy Birthday beautiful, big boy!
from leebeenz :
Happy Birthday to Camden!!!
from mymemry :
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMDEN!!!!!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!!! Love Julie, Nathan and Ava
from mymemry :
What about Vann Peter?
from mymemry :
Hi Heather!!! How about Vann Elliot? Vann Martin? Vann Nicholas? Vann David? I really like Vann Elliot. I love the name Vann. How did yall decide that? xoxo Julie
from lindzeeleigh :
You looks fanstastic! Seriously, your bump looks so lovely and I like Camden hudding your megs from behind. He is so cute. And the name Vann is so freaking different and adorable that I love it!! As for middle names, I will think on that one for you. I am getting so excited for you to have this baby. Glad all went well with the midwife, what fabulous news! Good luck with all the work related headaches. :S
from leebeenz :
You look amazing. And I can't believe you are in the final stretch already! I can't wait to see picture of your new wee boy. And I have to add that I love his name. And wow, Camden is looking so big. I bet you will be surprised how he seems to age overnight once the baby is born. I found that the first time I saw Emily after Sophie was born, she seemed so much older!
from mamabean :
OHMYGOSH girl. Wait'll you have your second child. You will LONG to be bored for a day! Enjoy it!
from mamabean :
You didn't say where the rash was. I had one on my belly and under The Girls with Matthew and it was much like you described here. Google 'PUPP rash.' More likely when you're preg with boys than girls... interesting, huh?
from lindzeeleigh :
Ugh!! Your rash does not sound AT ALL. :( I hope that it will go away and get better soon! I like your idea of scheduling appointments so you can work part time when the baby is born. And as for a name, it will come to you, sooner or later. He knows his momma loves him!
from mymemry :
Hi Heather!!!! I'm sorry to hear about your rash, but glad to see your update! About your rash, do some research on PUPPS and see what you think. I don't know where your rash is, but if it is below your naval and on your legs, I am thinking this may be what it is. Tell me what you think. xoxo Julie
from alicesbaby :
Oh the itching sounds awful, Heather!! I'm sorry you're having to put up with that. Here's the link to a page at Babycenter.com that might tell you what it is: http://www.babycenter.com/0_itchy-skin-during-pregnancy_9450.bc I hope that helps! Hope the midwife can give you something to make it better. *hugs*
from lindzeeleigh :
I am glad for the quick update, as I have been wondering how you were doing as well!! Glad to hear things are going great on your end. Your little bean is growing! Any ideas on a name for him??
from mamabean :
Herro? Just checkin' in -- It's been a week and you promised belly shots awhile ago, girl. Hope all is well! ;)
from leebeenz :
I am so pleased that everything went well with the midwife. And also that you are feeling so good about everything as well.
from lindzeeleigh :
27 weeks?! Where has the time gone?? I am glad to hear that everything went so well at the midwife apppintment and that your blood pressure is behaving! ;)
from mamabean :
AW! Cute belly! Cute cupcakes! Cute Batman! And yeah, we're all sugared up pretty good right now too. Candy and goodies EVERYWHERE! EEEEEEEK. Trying to fatten us up for the cold winter or something?
from leebeenz :
All that yummy food makes me wish we had Halloween here. But at the same time, I'm glad we don't as I have a super sweet tooth as well!! And I LOVE that baby bump!
from lindzeeleigh :
I think that you are going to make the right decision for your family. It doesn't mean that it is going to be easy, but I know you will come up with the right choice in the end. I think you are leaning to staying home with your new little one and I think that is a good choice for you, even though it might be a little hard money wise. I know it will all work out!
from alicesbaby :
I love to read all your thinkings about the future. It feels soothing to read them, probably in the same way that it's helpful for you to write them out. I think whatever you decide to do will be the RIGHT thing for you and your family, because you want so much to do right by everyone and you are really thinking about it thoroughly. I think you have it in you to be (and already ARE!) and EXCELLENT mama! I'm excited to hear thoughts of more babies in the future! :)
from leebeenz :
What a cute wee guy you have!! And the area around your mountain house looks beautiful.
from lindzeeleigh :
Love all the pictures of Camden! They are so cute!! You almost had me tricked into thinking you were posting belly photos because of the title, but then you said you didn't! LOL.
from alicesbaby :
Ahhhhh, he's soooo handsome! I can't believe it! He looks so so so grown up. I loved ALL the photos, thanks so much for sharing them! :)
from tequilamonky :
Aw that boy of yours is so cute!!! And Jaya thinks so too ;) Sooo exciting that you're already thinking of your future time with your boys. I wonder if Cam's brother will look as much like you as he does? :)
from lindzeeleigh :
I am glad to read an entry from you! I have been wondering how you were doing and how everything was going! YAY for the successful homebirth, that must give you lots of confidence to have your own in the not too distant future. You can do it! :)
from tequilamonky :
ooops my computer has died so I've lost your password! Could I have it? Hope you're well :)
from lindzeeleigh :
Have a very nice trip! Time for a new belly photo when you get back! ;)
from tequilamonky :
Have a great time!!! :D
from arthursmummy :
I'm behind on commenting here! I'm sorry! I just wanted to drop in and say I hope you have a great trip! Looking forward to hearing about how it went (with pics?!). xxx
from theflyingrat :
First, congrats on your license! Second, my kids are the same way as Camden, as in they are better behaved when we are one-on-one rather than both Kent and I being around. Third, I have had virtually NO belief in God my entire life and my brother has always had a relatively strong faith. I have never been in trouble and my brother has spent almost his whole life (since about age 11 or 12) getting into trouble with the law. I don't think believing in God is the answer - I think it has more to do with a strong sense of self and a sense of responsibility (both to yourself and the world). I don't think that there is anything wrong with teaching your child about God and having faith but just know that regardless of what your stance on religion is, teach Camden to believe in himself (that he is important and loved, no matter what) and I think that he will be just fine. xoxo
from tequilamonky :
No time to write but just wanted to fly by and say.. Congratulations! Well done you :)
from lindzeeleigh :
I have been wondering how you were doing! Congrats on getting your license! That is fantastic news. :) YOu will figure out what you want to do when you have this baby and stay home with him for a little while. It will all work itself out. Good for you for deciding on the church thing. it may not be easy, but you can do it and I think it will be so good for your family. xo
from lindzeeleigh :
22 weeks?! it seems to have gone by fast, but it also seems like a long time ago you posted you were pregnant. How does that even make sense?? LoL. I am glad you had such a nice weekend and just got to spend time with each other. Enjoy the little moments. Have fun at work!
from nickyslilone :
22 weeks? How?? I was just 22 weeks! Erm, 9 weeks ago. But still, wow time has flown. It seems so little time has passed since I felt Robert's first kick and now here you are too!
from leebeenz :
I am so pleased that you were able to sit down and have a talk together and get things sorted. And I am so pleased that you are feeling so much better!
from lindzeeleigh :
I am glad that you are feeling better now! I think it is normal for all of us to get depressed and feel down at points in our lives, pregnant or not. Know that there will be an end in sight and at least you realize and are cogniscient of something being awry. I love the pics of your puppy, she looks too cute. Camden took a great picture of you, that colour of blue looks so great on you!
from leebeenz :
As I haven't been where you are, I won't try and give you any advice. I just wanted to say that I am here for you if you need. (((hugs)))
from mamabean :
To me, it sounds EXACTLY like prenatal depression. EXACTLY. I could have written that entry only with Bean and Al's names. First of all, be COMFORTED that it's probably only hormonal, because that means it will end! I can tell you from personal experience that the HIGH that follows birth will blow your little depressed mind because the change is so drastic once your hormones start getting back to normal again. My advice is to try to stay busy and try not to spend huge amounts of time alone. I know you're feeling detached and isolated, but being among friends and family (those who can accept and love you for who you are, even when you are down) will hope bolster your spirits AND take some pressure off you where Camden is concerned, too. With Ryan so busy, you're probably alone more than ever right now, and that's not good. It's exactly what I experienced, too, as Al had just started his new job, remember, and started being gone 13 or 14 hours a day. The alone-ness all day with just Bean was awful for both of us and left me feeling wrung out physically and emotionally. Also, continue exercising. You know, be realistic, do what you CAN do feeling the way you feel, but do something, even if it's just going outside for a short walk. Do not take any sleep aids. They are awful for depression. Keep writing out your thoughts. Do a little bit of shopping for baby, and some for you. Doesn't have to be anything extravagant, just some things to help you bond with baby AND reward and pamper yourself. SLEEP. Pray. A lot. That pretty much saved me, some days. Don't worry too much about Camden. If he is anything like Bean, you will be amazed at how much he understands, particularly after the baby arrives. Bean and I were walking somewhere holding hands last week and she said, out of the blue, "I'm so glad you feel better Mama. You were really sick and I didn't like that." Tell Camden why you are sad, or tired, or grouchy. He may surprise you with empathy and gentleness beyond his years. I am so sorry you're experiencing this. Honestly I think it must be more common than it appears to be, but people must be ashamed to talk about it. I know I was. But it is real and nothing to be ashamed of. I hope you know that and I hope you won't be afraid to let the people around you know what's going on, and that they will give you the extra support and help you need! I'll be here to listen, as well. Big Hugs - M
from tequilamonky :
Oh honey huge hugs! I don't know what to say except that this will pass. Please do start taking all your supplements again I reckon you'll be surprised at how much better you feel.Other than that eat well, take a short walk every day and go to bed at the same time every night. xxxxxxxx
from nickyslilone :
Another little boy! Did you edit your entry after my last note? Because I swear I didn't see the bit about it being a boy! ;) I'm so glad you're feeling better about it. *hugs*
from leebeenz :
I love the pictures, your bump is just perfect!! And I kind of know how you feel. I, deep down, had wanted a boy, but looking at Sophie now, I am just so pleased to have her. I can't believe that I ever wanted a boy. I know that you will feel the same way.
from tequilamonky :
Yay bump!!! Gorgeous dress too! I think you look radiant :)
from lindzeeleigh :
I *love* your dress! You look awesome! You must be growing a big baby boy in there! :P
from arthursmummy :
Lovely big beautiful belly!! You are doing a GREAT job at growing your healthy baby boy in there! :)
from tequilamonky :
Wanted to say that actually my experience so far (and that of a few of my friends) is that the bond with a mother and her son is actually stronger than with a daughter. In fact I sometimes feel gulty about it. Also my cousin would agree with Alice about the girliness thing, she has two boys and loves that she is the only girl and therefore gets to be as girly as she likes with no competition! That's great taht new baby boy is growing so well...any name ideas?
from arthursmummy :
Glad you are feeling better about everything! :) For what it's worth, I have not found that the more boys in the house there are, the less feminine I become! I'm finding quite the opposite actually - perhaps it's because I'm just desperate to cling to GIRLIENESS before it just becomes extinct around here, hehe! I want to wear pink way more than I ever did. And look feminine. My advice? Embrace your femininity! It will keep you sane in a testosterone-filled household! ;) I've seen blinkies that say, "I'm the queen in my house of blue" and so on. Being the only girl has its perks, and the boys (all of them!) will know you're extra special because of it :) All that said, I will be glad for a daughter if I ever am blessed with one! But boys are just wonderful too :)
from lindzeeleigh :
I am glad you are feeling so much better and more at peace with your little guy now. Sometimes we ladies just need to have a wee cry and then we can move on from it. Now, you need to post ultrasound pics, belly pics and tell us what you are thinking of for boy names!! [Not to be demanding or anything..... LOL!] :P
from lindzeeleigh :
I had no idea your ultrasound was today! You are going to have two little boys, that is exciting. They will be brothers and love to drive each other crazy, play with each other and be friends. [Well, one day!] I hope you are able to process this in your own time and are happy that he is a healthy baby. I think it would have nice to have a boy and a girl, but be thankful everything is going well and is okay. Maybe you might have to have a third one day!! :P
from arthursmummy :
Yay, a boy, a boy, a boy!! :) Boys (and brothers!) are wonderful, but I totally know the need to process for a few days. I felt much the same way when I found out my second boy was exactly that, a boy! Not so much with boy #3 though. I know you'll be sooo excited before you know it. A brother for Camden! How wonderful! Hugs to you. I'm so happy that the baby is healthy. Now you can get stuck into naming him! :)
from tequilamonky :
Yay another gorgeous boy!!! Congratulations! Nice to see you, but understand the need to process a bit. Hopefully see you again soon xxxx
from nickyslilone :
Goodness! 19 weeks and anomoly scan already! Good luck hunni, hope your little one shows all! x
from tequilamonky :
Oh no sorry for that cabin sick feeling. It's the same in England right now to be honest...where can the sun be hiding? Well done for cracking out the maternty wear. I was in it much quicker second time too, you might as well be comfy :)
from silverscorp :
Hey girl. Thank you so much for your kind words. I especially am greatful for you to have taken the time when you probably have a ton of things going on too. May I please have your password to your diary once again?
from lindzeeleigh :
Have you seen the documentary "The Business of Being Born" by Ricki Lake? I watched it a little while ago [it was free online, but they took it down, but you can rent it from the video store] and I thought it was really informative and interesting. It talks about natural childbirth and midwives versus doctors and all things like that. I thought maybe it might help you! :) Glad Hannah is home!
from leebeenz :
Wow, I'm sorry about your brother. I know he is going through a really tough time with your niece, but that's not really any excuse to treat your poor Mum like that. I am really pleased though that you are feeling good about your impending labour. You are right, in that every birth seems to be completely different and you just can't judge what will happen with you on what happened with someone else. I hope it all goes smoothly for you.
from lindzeeleigh :
Wow, your brother does sound totally ungrateful and that must be so frustrating for you. I feel bad for your mom because she is just trying to do her best and be there and help. :( I hope little hannah gets better and that they can finally figure out what is wrong with her! I am afraid I am not help on the voyeur side of things, but I am sure it is a stage and he will outgrow it.
from anita-girl :
Sometime's it's hard to discipline your children. But we have to do it. In fact I beleive we are bad parents when we don't! It's our job to raise these children up to be all that they can be and by letting them act horribly and ignoring there bad behavor I really feel are bad parents. Lazy parents. Kids throw tantrums, sometimes it may be our fault but most of the time it's there's. They are growing emotionally, physically, mentally and all that and have to learn how to manage these. Your not a bad mom at all because he throws a tantrum or too. Your a bad mom if you do nothing about it. I don't think you should let yourself feel so guilty when he has bad moments and you discpline him. Your doing him and yourself a favor. Maybe go and read up on other ways to deal with tantrums that don't involve picking him up since he is getting big and your pregnant and give some other ones a try. Ariel went through a tantrum phase and I tried several things but I find what works best is ignoring her and not giving her what she wants. She hardly does them anymore. I find what works best is counting to 3, she knows that she has to do what mommy says by 3 or there will be punshiment. It makes things like leaving, getting dressed and going to bed so much faster. As for being miserable, sometimes pregnancy is no fun! It's hard not to feel bad about it but havign a little one already and being pregnant is a lot of work! It's totally normal to feel the way you do!
from lindzeeleigh :
I will be thinking of baby Hannah and praying that she is going to be okay. What a scary thing to go through. :( I am sorry you are feeling so "blah" these days. Hopefully things will start to turn around and you will start to feel better and more energetic.
from theflyingrat :
As a parent there is ALWAYS a would/coulda/shoulda situation, no matter which road you take. If it helps at all, I think you did the exact right thing. You didn't yell or scream or lash out in anger. You made a decision and despite his tantrum, you stuck to it. You are showing him that when you say something you mean it. That's what you SHOULD do, in my honest opinion. I know there are times when my kids throw fits and if they had just ASKED to stay longer (or whatever) then I would probably have said yes. But when they throw a tantrum, you can't give in or you would just be reinforcing that kind of behavior. And if you are worried about crying in front of him, don't! It is good for kids to see that adults have all of the same emotions. Your little guy seems to have a good sense of you and what you are all about. You are a fantastic mother, don't ever think differently! xoxo
from nickyslilone :
so sorry to hear about that all! :( However despite the way you feel when Cam has his "moments" it seems like he is such a lovely little boy generally. Also sorry to hear that you are having a hard pregnancy so far. I do hope you feel better soon xx
from theflyingrat :
Aaah, the heartbeat! I always loved that sound, it is so precious and reassuring!
from leebeenz :
I am so pleased that you have had such a great midwife appointment. And I know what you mean about needing the proof the baby really is in there!!
from lindzeeleigh :
I am SO happy to hear that everything went great at your appointment and that you were so pleased with everything. :) I can't believe that you are 15 weeks already?! I remember I started to read when you were *just* pregnant! You are going to continue to have a wonderful pregnancy and the birth you want!
from lindzeeleigh :
You WILL get your body back!!
from lindzeeleigh :
I agree with your friend and that you should stick with the midwife, it will all work out!! :)
from mamabean :
YUCK. That sounds like a bad day, for sure. Heather, no matter what you decide, finally, if I know ANYTHING about you at all, I know you will be much happier with your decision if you've done all the research and really studied all the options and maybe had to change your mind a couple of times. That's how you operate - it's your method of sorting things out and it works for you and it's fine. So just keep plugging away at this birth thing and getting the answers you need and eventually you'll come to a final conclusion and you'll be comfortable with it. I know you will. I have one mostly unrelated tip for you, too. It'd help me, your reader and it'll help you if you are ever pregnant again and want to use this diary for a reference. I learned it from Alice. Include your gestation time in your post titles. (I.E. 12 weeks, 2 days - Bad Day) or whatever. It'll make any back-searching you want to do later in life WAY easier. Going back though Bean's pregnancy diary drives me bonkers as I didn't do that and can never tell without reading the whole entry just how pregnant I was when I wrote each one. I'm not scolding - I just woke up in the night last night with a million thoughts in my head and one of them was I MUST TELL HEATHER TO MAKE SURE SHE DOES THIS!
from mymemry :
I just have a few thoughts. But I will be happy to share them. First of all - I respect your desire to have a home birth and I do hope and pray that you will have that if you continue to deisre it. But. Given your previous labor and delivery, I don't think it is the safest decision. I would want you to be at the hospital where there are trained emergency personel RIGHT THERE that instant if you or your baby would need it. Not in 7 minutes, but RIGHT THEN. I guess my motto is that I'd rather be safe than sorry. BUT. You may have absolute confidence in your midwife and are willing to allow her to deal with your emergency just as she's dealt with them in the past (have you asked her about her 'past' emergencies and such like that? What if this, what if that? ) I am a what ifer. That gets me in trouble all the time! So maybe you are not a what ifer and are willing to place yalls lives in her hands. If you are comfortable with that - that is all you need. Peace with your decision. Only you know the answer to that. As far as the VBAC - Nathan was a forehead presentation that was not corrected prior to him getting in the birth canal. He had to come out via section because of his position. Not because of what my body did or didn't do. Ava was also a forehead presentation, but I had an EXCELLENT nurse who was able to determine that by looking at trends in her heartbeat during contractions and she changed my position every 15 minutes until Ava changed her position! I was NOT confident in my ability to have a VBAC. I was just willing to try it. I didn't want to plan a C-section, but was very willing to have one if I was told I needed it. My advice to you would be to determine whether you want to be with a trained midwife in the comforts of home during this unknown time, or with a fuller staff of people in the hospital during this time. Yes. There are rules and it is not as lovely, I'm sure. I wouldn't know - since they were both born in the hospital. But there was a comfort to me that if something went wrong, I was at THE best place to be in terms of medical help. I didn't WANT an epidural but I had to have one. I couldn't take that pain any longer. I am dumbfounded that women can endure it or would even. I can't imagine my 'head' in a place that would allow for it. You may have to take more time to think. I know you'd want your old OB, but maybe giving he/she up is worth taking more time to determine what is best for you. You could always call them first and see if by chance they are available when if you determine to go with an OB. I must say that it was the sweetest feeling when I realized that a baby was indeed going to come out the intended hole. I was amazed beyond belief that it happened. So my advice is to just go with your desire and pray about it and see how it pans out. I know you will be in good hands even if you wait awhile. I'm thinking about you. Julie
from lindzeeleigh :
Love the new belly pics!! I wish I had better advice for you about the midwife or going to the doctor. I do know that a c section is major surgery and there is a long recovery time afterwards, which would make it difficult to care for yourself, Camden and new baby. You will figure out it and you are right, there is still time!
from leebeenz :
Being in a completely different country, I guess there is not a lot of advice I can give. But I would suggest talking to your midwife. In NZ, basically all of the maternity care here (aside from specialist care) is done by midwives. And that is whether you choose a home birth or a hospital birth. Does your midwife insist on homebirths, or could you compromise with having your midwife at the hospital with you? Or is there a birthing centre that you could go to? I know that I felt safer at the hospital, just knowing that if I needed intervention, it was all right there. In the end, I didn't need any hospital intervention, but just knowing it was there put my mind at ease. Maybe you could work out a compromise like that.
from tequilamonky :
Urgh this is a tough one. What about talking to the midwife about it. Just be honest about how you're feeling, I'm sure she'll understand. Then maybe she can tell from your history and your previous birth what the liklihood is of yu needing a c-section again. Good luck with it honey I know what a hard decision this must be for you xxxx
from leebeenz :
I think kids seem to go through phases of acting out. They are just pushing the boundaries, then they settle, then they push again, just to see if this time they can get away with it. And Emily is the same when she is over-excited and playing around with other children. Especially ones she doesn't see all the time. And as for the finances, I can truly understand. We are still paying off the credit card debt from when Emily was born and I wasn't bringing in a wage. This time around, I have been frantically saving (one of the reasons I will work right up until baby is born, whether I feel like it or not) and I still worry that we won't have enough to cover the 9 months I am off work. I am sure that we will both be okay, but trying to tell a pregnant woman to stop worrying, well that's just impossible!
from theflyingrat :
I have to do the constant reminding thing with Riley too. I have found that the best 'remedy' for that is to set a timer. I make it clear that he has 3/5/10 minutes to get the task at hand completed and if he doesn't then there will be consequences (time-out, losing a privelege, etc.). After a couple of times of not getting something done, he learned that when I set the timer (after 1 warning) I mean business.
from tequilamonky :
Have you thought of trying fish oil supplements for Cam? My two are both very physical and can be hyperactive but I find that as long as they've had their little fishy capsule they're much less manic! I'm guessing Cameron would get on very well with my two ;) Urgh with you on the worrying about finances too. I promise you you'll be fine though, another baby really doesn't cost that much more when you have one already. xxxx
from mymemry :
I didn't know you were planning on keeping the gender a secret! I DO NOT approve!!!! :-) I didn't know Ava's gender so I wasn't keeping it secret. I'm just saying! The 20ish week wait is hard enough, Heather. But to make us wait till heshe surfaces????
from tequilamonky :
Yay to being in the second trimester!! Going so fast already :)
from nickyslilone :
There's a definite difference in bump there Heather! So it must be partly baby at least! :) Very jealous, your bump is already cute! ;)
from mamabean :
I think at this stage in your pregnancy, you're not required to know for sure WHAT you want for your labor and delivery. That you're asking yourself (and Ryan) questions and feeling doubts and a fear are probably perfectly normal and healthy. Your midwife has probably heard every question in the book and can help you navigate your family to the right decisions based on your health, the baby's progress and other equally-as-important factors such as your comfort level as you get closer. For me, a homebirth doesn't feel like the right option because it would scare my conservative, conventional husband to death and because of my age, but if I were younger and having a baby with a man who was more open to something outside of the perceived Only Way To Do It, I'd want to explore the homebirth option, too. Hang in there and let your gut be your guide here. You'll come to the right conclusions in time.
from mymemry :
Heather, Hi there! I have a few thoughts but I will keep those to myself. I do want to share with you what I would do if I were in your situation. I'm never wanted a home birth, so I will share my thoughts with you as IF I did. I would plan for it. Just as you are. I would pray about it and ask the Lord for it. BUT I would also ask the Lord to intervene in ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM if it was not going to work out. I would do everything you are told by your midwife and continue to walk along the path of having a home birth. Your medical condition will let you know whether you may try it. Your midwife is not going to risk putting your health or little heshe's in danger if your body starts to do things that could mean danger to you or the baby. Follow your heart and then wait to see what the Lord will do. Alice wanted a home birth - was planning for it. What happened with little Nathan? He was early - born in the hospital - right where he needed to be due to the circumstances. Little Matthew was born at home (without the midwife even present at his birth!!!) So you never know. I can share my feelings about my VBAC. I felt SO STRONGLY against any meds to induce me. I just KNEW that Nathan was born via csection because I tried to make him come out too soon. BUT it got to the point that my labor needed a bit of Pitocin with Ava and she came out just fine with that artificial jumpstart (after almost 24 hours of my 'natural' labor.) Try not to worry and doubt. Trust your instincts and your body. They will speak when the time is right. I have a birthday girl today!! Can you believe it has been TWO years? My baby is 2. xoxo Julie
from alicesbaby :
Oh I just checked the site and they don't have a link to the homepage from the link I just sent you - the homepage is here (http://www.homebirth.org.uk) and you can get to all the links and articles, including the one I suggested below, from there! :) I hope you have a great time at the zoo!!
from alicesbaby :
Sweet Heather! Don't be anxious! I know it's natural to have doubts though. Please visit http://www.homebirth.org.uk/whatif.htm - it is a page about "What If"s and homebirth, to reassure people! All the things you mentioned are on the list I think. I think it will give you a lot of reassurance to read it. Also reading the rest of that GREAT site is highly recommended! :) *hugs* I am praying for you! xxx
from lindzeeleigh :
I think if you really want to go with a midwife and do the home birth, then you should! i know it seems unconventional now, but that was how women were doing it for YEARS! One of my friends just did a home birth in the late fall and everything was great for her and her little guy. Know that if something goes wrong, then you can always go to the hospital if you need to. You just have to be prepared that sometimes things don't always work out the way we intend them. Talk with your hubby and your midwife and discuss your thoughts.
from nicolerenee :
Hi stranger! Can I have the PW?
from nickyslilone :
I just looked and thought hmm.. where is it... and I realised, it's because the first one Jonathan took of me, he took of my right side. The others I took in the mirror of my left side. :)
from theflyingrat :
Thanks for the password! Oh my goodness I am SO DARN BEHIND on your diary! Hopefully I will get caught up soon. Congfatulations to you! xoxo
from mamabean :
I'm glad you feel better today. You know I can relate to the feeling bad and man, oh, man, do I understand about the HOT HOT HOT. I sweat constantly and can't stand to be touched. Hope your day continued well and that you slept well again last night.
from lindzeeleigh :
p.s. You should update the belly gallery! ;)
from lindzeeleigh :
I am so glad that you are feeling better now! I missed like three days of updates?! How did that happen? I am so sorry about all the things that are going on with your in laws. :( That is just awful. I don't get why people want to do that to themselves. It is sad. WEl, I hope the healthy eating continues to go well and that it keeps helping you to feel better!
from leebeenz :
So glad you got a good sleep. I was just the opposite last night, I couldn't get to sleep for ages and kept waking up. This has meant that I have felt nauseaus this morning - if I am too tired, I feel sick. Yay, I thought I left all that behind in the first trimester!?
from tequilamonky :
Yay happy week 12, you're getting into the nicest part now :0) Sorry about your PIL, the thing is though that if they resally are addicted (and it sounds like they are) then theuy're not really going to change at their age. I reckon the only solution would be to take Cam there when you can stay too, that way you knoiw there's at least one responsible adult about.
from leebeenz :
Congratulations on passing your test!!!!
from arthursmummy :
Yay, congratulations!!! You are awesome! :) I'm so proud of you for all the work you've put into this, and for passing the exam. And yay for healthy sounds from your uterus! ;) Have a wonderful sleep! xx
from aprylart :
Hi, I found you through various other mommy diaries that I read. I hope you won't mind giving me your password. Email - apriljoan AT hotmail DOT com
from lindzeeleigh :
I hope you will start to feel a little bit better soon! How many weeks along are you now?? And as for the neighbour's son not doing your hair, I think it is a good thing because your hari looks great and you didn't have to put up with him. Bonus all around! :P
from theflyingrat :
Oops! I accidentally hit the 'done' button twice on that last note - sorry about that!
from theflyingrat :
Hey... I lost all my passwords recently, I was wondering if you would mind sending me yours again? I hope everything is going okay! [email protected]
from theflyingrat :
Hey... I lost all my passwords recently, I was wondering if you would mind sending me yours again? I hope everything is going okay! [email protected]
from nickyslilone :
aww, thanks for your note, don't get my hopes up! I'm sure it's a boy although I'd love a girl for my first. We shall see. New hair looks great though. x
from leebeenz :
Love the new hair style! I am thinking about getting mine cut again before baby is born. That will probably be the last time I get it done before I go back to work next year!!
from arthursmummy :
Still catching up (soooo much to read!) but Helloooo Classy Lady!! :) Love the new hair! You looked good with the old hair too, just so you know! xx
from lindzeeleigh :
Your hair looks great! I really like the bit of darker colour with the highlights. It looks really nice on you. :)
from mamabean :
The new color really makes your pretty eyes stand out. I love it, and the style, too. Nicely done, hair person!
from lindzeeleigh :
i am sorry you had such a bad morning. :( Spanking is not right for everyone and you found it wasn't right for you. I like Camden's answers to your questions. So honest and cute!
from arthursmummy :
Yay, I'm here, I'm here!!! Thanks for the password! I am reading, but I have a way to go yet before I'm caught up. LOVING the pics of you all and amazed at how Camden has grown! I hope your week has got better! xxx
from mamabean :
Ugh! I'm sorry... hopefully you'll have a better week than weekend!
from lindzeeleigh :
Hi Heather! I just wanted to say that I popped in and read a WHOLE bunch of your entries and now feel somewhat caught up on you and your life! Congrats on the new baby, that is so exiciting and I am thrilled to experience the journey with you as you have your 2009 baby. We are hoping to have a 2009 baby as well, but a summer/fall baby, depending on how everything goes. Anyways, just wanted to say hi! :)
from leebeenz :
Thank you so much for your comment! I would love to add you to my favourites if that is all right and if you don't mind sharing your password. You can email me at leebeenz at yahoo dot com. Anyway, I was really lucky in that I didn't really get morning sickess as such. My main problem, as weird as it was, was having anything tight around my stomach and anything touching my neck. I couldn't wear scarves, high necks, or even anything with collars! And walking outside with the wind blowing on my neck would make me gag. My solution was to chew gum, which for some strange reason helped. So I would be outside walking to the gym, gagging at the wind blowing on my neck, but once I was inside and working out, I was fine! Crazy eh. Hopefully you aren't feeling too bad and that any morning sickness ends soon!!
from anita-girl :
Hey! I see that you added me. I would love to read you too. Would you please share your info with me? [email protected]
from mamabean :
Sounds like a GREAT experience. Our first 2009 baby! Congrats again and I'm glad that went positively for you!
from tequilamonky :
Oh she sounds won-der-ful! And you sound very happy and at peace :)
from mamabean :
Oh I'm so sorry! But you know I can relate fully. Hope it passes quickly for you - they say the peak is at or around 10-12 weeks so maybe you'll be through the worst quickly. I'd give you pointers on how to handle it but I DON'T HAVE ANY! Ugh. Hang in there, sweetie. I understand everything you wrote and I don't blame you for a minute - it's a battle. A daily, hourly, minute-ly battle. Sheesh.
from tequilamonky :
Aw honey, poor you! I got my "morning sickness" in the evenings and founbd that as long as I didn't eat after 7.00pm it was much better. Only problem is I lost loads of weight in the process! Ginger helped me too. I hope it doesn't last too long for you xxxx
from tequilamonky :
Oh honey sorry about the bad memories resurfacing, but good for you for taking such apositiove step to be sure history doesn't repeat for you. Good luck with the appointment, I'm sure she'll be lovely and put you at ease :) Still boggling that you got pregnant so fast, such lovely news!
from nickyslilone :
About the sex dreams - YES! Very bizarre for me, I woke up extremely horny one day, much to J's pleasure haha!
from mymemry :
She is so cute!!!!! SO CUTE!!!!! Don't choose any names you'd like for a little girl :-), she wouldn't understand being named after the dog. I love your couch. It is SO beautiful. I love it, love it, love it! Is it easy care? Where did you find it? How has that boy gotten so big? He is so adorable!
from tequilamonky :
What the!! I go away for a few days and look wat I miss! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!! Very happy for you! yay!!!!!!
from mamabean :
Did I never say Lorelai? Or Felicity? Yeah, I know exactly where you are, pregnancy wise. For me, I come and go from that place... that uh... WHAT? place, even at 30 weeks. It's weird. Glad you aren't feeling sick. That's a major blessing!
from mymemry :
Yay!!!!! I am so excited about you being pregnant!!!! I know how amazed you are! I remember finding out the second time. It was shock that it really 'took' so soon. I hope everything goes easy for you and you don't ever get sick as a dog. Speaking of dog! How cute. I love small dogs. I'm allergic - but I still love them. What does he/she look like? I just thought of a name. Ashes. I don't know where it came from - out of the blue I guess. I wish I could see that little puppy curled up in Cam's lap. How sweet. That will be his little buddy. Congrats again mama!!! xoxo Julie
from mamabean :
LORELAI! Pleeeeeeeeeeease? I need a Lorelai or a Felicity SOMEWHERE. :) I'm so excited, Heather. So totally, unbelievably excited. Our babies will be like 8 mos apart, you know!? That's pretty neat! Congrats again. Yay!
from mamabean :
Those lines are A LOT bolder than the first lines I saw with Bean and Peanut. You ARE going to have another baby. And I, for one, must how go have a good, happy cry. BIG HUGS, and welcome welcome to the OHMYGRANNY I'M GOING TO BE A MAMA AGAIN Club.
from nickyslilone :
Wheeee! Yes, that's definitely a positive pregnancy test! Congratulations!! I don't think the faintness is anything to worry about, if you were to take another in a week or so the line would get darker because you have a higher concentration of HCG :)
from mamabean :
Thank you. Isn't it funny how you were shocked and surprised when you thought you WERE, thinking how incredible to get pg the first month of trying and now that you think you're not, you're worried you won't be able to? We humans - fickle. Hang in there, one point on a graph does not a trend make! :)
from mamabean :
Pins and needles here. ARGH.
from nickyslilone :
Ooooh, good luck with TTC! Crossing my fingers for you, I'm sure that whenever your body is ready it'll just happen! xx
from mamabean :
NOT TEST? You mean you might make us wait another WEEK or more to find out if you is or if you ain't? I will not survive that, little missy.
from tequilamonky :
Oooh interesting stuff! I'll be on tenterhooks!
from mymemry :
Hey Heather. I was excited to learn that you and Ryan are TTC. Cam will be a great big brother and I think the age gap will be nice. He'll be an actual 'big' brother. Nathan and Ava are quite close in age and less like older brother, younger sister and more like just a little boy and a little girl. Because of the months of their birthdays they will only be ONE year apart in school. That is kind of wild for me to think about. There are times I wish I could have another. Mostly not though. Ava is full of herself and not so keen on being a good little minder. She is so different from Nathan. He talks like he is 8 and she barely has 8 words. She says no like a zillion times a day and grunts the rest of the day. I love them. Wouldn't change much - maybe her attitude QUITE a bit if I could! I am excited for you and wonder what you will have. Another boy? A girl? Twins? A sweet little sensitive soul or another early walker who climbs higher, faster and earlier than Cam did. I'm glad yall waited till you were both feeling it was the right time. xoxo Julie
from nickyslilone :
Hi, followed you from various "mummy blogs" friends, if possible I'd love to have a password - always love to read more mummy blogs! you can follow the email link on my page if you don't want to post it in my public notes :)
from tequilamonky :
Awhoney don't feel bad, every mummy hasat least one "bad mummy moment" and yours really wasn't that bad in the grand scheme of things. I'm proud of you for sticking to your ideals about spanking. Interesting abot the time out spot. Weactually haven't used the time out step for Jaya for months (I keep forgetting to put this in my diary) as we noticed that she had taken to goingup and lying on her bed when she was feeling stressed out and seemed to be controllng her anger herself that way. Sounds to me like you're giving Cam a wonderful message abouttaking control of his own emotions and learning to control his temper. Well done you, I'd say you turnd a bad mummy moment into a good mummy moment :)
from tequilamonky :
Nice to see you back and in what seems to me to be a very positive headspace. :) Lovely glowing family pics too...just how stunning do you look in that bikini!
from mamabean :
Great photos. I'd give anything for a weekend away with the hubby before this baby gets here. Cami boy is so cute. Isn't this a GREAT age?
from mamabean :
Oh! I'm excited you're TTC again! Maybe we'll have little ones together again. As for journaling - I'm still reading whenever you post, so keep it up. :) I understand the complicated place you're in, totally, but you have my full attention and support, as always. I just don't ALWAYS get to comment because, well, life...
from tequilamonky :
Oooh you're locked! Hope you're okay! Any chance I could get the password?
from mamabean :
Sounds like a really GREAT party! I'm glad you got to get everyone together. You looked so beautiful with your lovely red dress and pretty hair. And Camden. Wow. He is handsome and so tall and strapping! ;) I know you must be so proud of him and I don't blame you a bit for being sad to be apart from him as you work. But you're doing the right thing for you and for your family at the moment, and soon hopefully you'll be back home bein' a Mama full time again - when you are ready! Hug hug hug!
from mymemry :
I'm sad to read your entry at the end of November just now. I'm so sorry you were hurting so. I haven't read up to date yet, but am hopeful with the bit I read already for today's post that things are getting better. I am reading an allegory called Hind's Feet in High Places. It is all about a girl who has to make her way to the High Places of the Good Shepard with 2 companions - sorrow and suffering. It pains me to know the truth in life - that our sorrow and suffering really do teach us more than our seasons of high places. I pray that you and R will connect in a beautiful way - maybe not the way you used to, but a new and different way - just as good as before, but in another way. I'd love to be close to Orlando so we could hang out in person. All is well here - I'm just learning more about the insides of myself and trying to cope with the FACT that I won't be perfected till I reach Heaven. I'd rather just walk through the rest of this life perfected, please, and thankyou. But no. The Lord will continue to clean the gunk out of my heart till the day I die. And boy is there a LOT of gunk there. I'm so thankful to have a savior who sees past the gunk and loves me anyway. I am blessed. You, Heather, are a blessing to me. I know we don't talk like we used to either..... God bless you my sweet friend. You look radiant by the way and your son looks more like a big boy than ever before. Hope Ryan is well. Hope to talk to you sometime BEFORE Christmas! Love you. Julie
from tequilamonky :
Oooh forgot to say how lovely the pictures are and that I swear Cam looks at least 6 years old in that last one!
from tequilamonky :
Good news on your friend. You may have to avoid certin subjects to start with but I reckon meeting up would be a great idea :) We have completely babyproofed our house! We have gates to keep the choildren out of cetain rooms and then in the other rooms everything that we don't want damaged or played with is locked away or put up high. With two at home all day it just made more sense to take away the temptation and problems than have me spend my whole day getting stressed and saying "no, don't touch that!". I learnt ages ago (and Stu is slowly getting the hang of) that if I don't want something touched I need to put it where the kids can't get it! It's just for whilst they're little, Jaya is already at a point where she knows not to touch things and hopefully in the next couple of years Jove will get there too and we can slowly get stuff back out.
from mamabean :
She said that to someone else. She probably was initially confused. But don't you think that later, she will feel loved? And thankful for your very very very sweet gesture (so sweet, Heather. You did do the right thing!)? I think she will. To me, her response doesn't mean anything about who YOU are. Her ultimate response will be about who SHE is. So don't feel dumb. Don't feel anything other than overjoyed that you were led and obeyed the call to extend a kindness to someone you care for. I am proud and amazed and thrilled you did it. It made ME smile and feel happy. :)
from tequilamonky :
Oh sweetheart, I think that you did a wonderful thing sending that card and I hope that she realises what a great friend you really are. Hugs xxxxx
from tequilamonky :
That should be "Time can do great things", sorry typing too fast!
from tequilamonky :
Ooh your guestbook is gone! So very sorry your friendship has gone this way. It's not al over yet though. ime can do great things and hopefully wisdom wil step in and she'll start to see what is rally important. Huge hugs xxxxx
from mamabean :
I hope Cam had a great night last night. Do we get pictures? Sorry about your friend... Hopefully you'll both feel better about it after some time. Hugs - M
from mymemry :
massage therapy and counseling! COOL! Would you doing both simultaneously? Or would the massage distract from them being able to share with you and from your words to penetrate their soul?
from mamabean :
Hey you! I need the password, as well, please? [email protected] thanks!
from mymemry :
Heather - Thanks for your sweet comments and for your password. I can't right this second, but I want to go back and find out what has been going on with yall. I saw something about potty training and something about dealing with a husband who is throwing a fit! I'm sorry for your friend. I can't imagine what she has gone through this week - but I imagine it has been very difficult. My prayer is that the time was not all torture and hell on earth. Maybe she was able to ponder some and come to terms with her precious baby's death. I know this sounds horrible - but I think if I were to go through it - I would want to carry the baby for at least a few days from when I found out to when I had to have the procedure done. That baby is a part of me. Inside of me. Dead in body, but alive in spirit with the Lord. Maybe that sounds really odd, but I just think I'd want that time to say goodbye. To rub my womb and mourn while I still carried that precious baby. I'm so very sorry for this horrible tragedy that your friend has gone through. My prayer is that the Lord will allow her to carry another child to term one day and that she will experience unspeakable joy twice - once at the birth of her baby and once when she embraces her other baby in heaven. You are a good, good friend Heather. If ever I were in a pickle, I'd be honored to have you fighting on my side! Julie
from mymemry :
Hi Heather. I've been gone awhile and when I came back my password doesn't work anymore. I'd love the password to get in if that is OK. Hope to hear from you soon! Julie
from tequilamonky :
oooh you're all locked up! Any chance I could have the password?
from princesse69 :
I love getting a tan too but there's not much chance of that happening any time soon. Have a lovely weekend.
from princesse69 :
I can understand your frustration with your mum. I know I would be. You're just looking out for her and want to help her. Maybe your mum could make more effort but it sounds like she has trouble taking advice from others. If she doesn't want to go hungry then snacking healthily would mean she wouldn't have to. It's not about how much you eat, it's more about what you eat and getting some exercise. You have to make compromises. When your health is a stake then surely you would want to make all the effort you can.
from princesse69 :
Your neighbours sound lovely. I wish we had friendly neighbours like that. It's sweet they treat Camden like their grandson. That banana cake with chocolate frosting sounded delicious!
from princesse69 :
Just wanted to say I found your diary and really like reading about you and your adorable little boy, so I'm adding you to my faves.
from princessreva :
HOT DANG!!!! That after pic is incredible - you need to be sooo proud of yourself!! YUM YUM!!!!!
from bubbles11090 :
good to hear from you, and great news on the weight loss. keep up the good work!! :)
from bubbles11090 :
i'm glad you guys had such a good time. i know it was a much needed vacation. camden is so cute...he looks so big!!
from bubbles11090 :
i'm glad you guys had such a good time. i know it was a much needed vacation. camden is so cute...he looks so big!!
from nicolerenee :
Girl, you look AWESOME!!!! Looks like a great time, and gorgeous pictures!!
from silverscorp :
Heather I love this entry. You sound so confident and secure and I'm totally jealous. I on the other hand am so everywhere right now. Anyway enjoy your vacation with the fam. Even with some home projects it sounds like its going to be incredibly fun and relaxing. Talk to you when you get back!
from mamabean :
I hope everything is okay with you! I'm missing your updates... hope you are just busy enjoying life! Hugs - xoxox
from mamabean :
Congratulations on your fifth anniversary. I think it really, truly is a major milestone and that you two have accomplished so much together just since I've known you. I hope I get to read about your tenth anniversary, and your twentieth, and celebrate with you! Cheers!
from mathero :
I'm writing again. I hope you'll check me out at my new address.. http://mhmlo.diaryland.com
from nicolerenee :
You hit the nail on the head with the 'stuffing it' part. Good for you for being honest with us, and yourself! :)
from mamabean :
Ha! I had that when I was pregnant and that's totally how I felt, too! Out of breath a lot, too. I hope the iron works for you. Maybe your body just hasn't adjusted fully to the "new lifestyle" and you simply need a supplement to help boost your hemoglobin! Do you take a daily multivitamin? Hugs - M
from nicolerenee :
Oh man, when I had made the decision to quit, it was like from that point on, I never wanted to go back. I SO feel what you mean! I'm so glad your little Cami is sleeping through the night. That can be so draining when they interupt our sleep cycle.
from nicolerenee :
For off, congrats on the 40 pounds! Wow! The most I ever lost was 35, and MAN! You must feel awesome!! As far as being on meds, good for you for acting and doing something about how you feel. Most people (IE me) just sit and wait for stuff to go away. Don't be ashamed to be on something...but also, don't be completely dependent on that either. That's what the Lord is for. ;)
from mamabean :
I'm really glad you laid it all out for the doctor and that she suggested things to ease some of your anxiety and sadness. I hope it works well for you and that your post-menstrual symptoms subside. I wish I could see a picture of you in your red dress. You've done SUCH an amazing job with your "lifestyle change" and I am really impressed and happy for you. There is nothing like having MORE energy, is there? Hugs - M
from mymemry :
The Lord will take care of every aspect of every issue if you are trusting Him to lead you in HIS will. No doubt about it. My heart is touched by your genuine desire to be led by Him and give your all to parenting. I too could learn alot from your mother (and mine!) She is like that too with Nathan. Nothing more important than being with him while she is here (and holding (SPOILING) Ava!) If you decide to give it up for awhile do remember that they (our children) are only this age (pre-school) for a short time. There will be people influencing them right and left as soon as school starts. It is my desire to do as much before that as I can (shaping, teaching, guiding, influencing, loving)
from nicolerenee :
I'm really proud of you for sticking to what you feel is important, whether it was still working, or quitting. Even though I wasn't working as often as you, I felt the same conflict. But when I got pregnant with Kyra, and we moved to SC (the first time, lol) it felt SO right for me to NEVER work again. Circumstances in our life made that decision be put on the back burner, but now, after quitting my job, I have made the conscience decision to not work until all the kids are in 1st grade or higher...and I will only work PT. I never had a mother at home with me when I was a child, so I want to be able to be there for my kids, when they come home from school and get them off to the bus. I think it is a completely individual view, and everyone is different. Well, now that I have babbled on and on...I wish you well, and pray for this to be a quick and easy transition to becoming a SAHM again! :)
from bubbles11090 :
I'm so glad that you have made a decision that you are content with. I wish you the best of luck with everything. :)
from mymemry :
Heather - It is not my place to tell you to quit your job but I can tell you that as a Christian, it is your job to put your family first (above everything). Read Proverbs 31. Pray and seek after His will and go where you have peace. Sit down with Ryan and share your heart with him. Pray about it before you talk to him. Ask the Lord to give you the words to say. It is much harder to stay home. You know that. You know how frustrating it can be - BUT the Lord will help you, direct you, energize you if you make the decision to stay home and trust Him to give you strength. I just encourage you to pray about it. Don't allow the circumstances you see affect your decision at all. Just look at what you have peace about. Everything else can be worked out. You and Ryan need to have a like mind. God can give you that - by changing your heart or his. I pray that you will be given clarity when making decisions and that God will lead you into where HIS heart for you to be is. My heart for you is at home with your son - teaching him by example and directing him to learn to obey you and Ryan (his authority.) It is about learning as you go - making mistakes and learning from them. Keeping God in the front of your mind and trying to act as if He would. We are called to obedience and I believe we must also call our own children into obedience. It hurts my heart to spend my free time on things that don't glorify God - but I am only human and so very very selfish. My goals revolve around making my entire existance be pleasing to God. In my thoughts, my actions, my words, my everything. I just desire you to have peace about your decisions and to be satisfied with them. I care about you very much and think God is really moving in your life. What about Ryan? How does he feel about the Lord?
from mymemry :
Heather. I've been reading your entries but haven't taken the time to comment. I am so sorry that you were so shaken by the incident with Cam and the Car. I would be too, of course! And angry! I would be angry with James and more than likely say some thing I would later have to apologize for. I have to tell you something I've been thinking about for the past several weeks regarding your entries. I just get the feeling that you are fighting with yourself about working. You don't have peace about it, do you? I know you have debt and this and that, but those are just excuses and issues you will have to some degree at various times in your life. Do you or do you not want to stay home? If you do then you can make a way to do so. If you have perfect peace about working then don't beat yourself up about it. If you don't then pray about it and find out what is going on. If this advice seems hard or uncaring - it is not meant to at all. It has just been an underlying theme and one of confusion for you. If you feel you SHOULD stay home but don't want to full time - then pray about it. Give all those feelings/emotions/doubt/dreams etc and so forth to the Lord and He will direct you into perfect peace. I hope you have a super fun long weekend. It sounds great. Family time, friend time, shopping time! I hope it is all you want it to be! Julie
from mamabean :
I do totally get the PMS thing. On the pill, I find it is really not as bad, but without that, I had three bad weeks a month and only one good week, moodwise. Now I have 2 or 3 days of bad moods and the rest I am happy or you know... mediocre. I don't have anxiety... well, maybe I do and just don't recognize it... I just have depression, weepiness, and irritability. It is crazy how hormones work us over. Crazy! Anyway I do hope Mr. Camden gets over his cough soon and that you guys have a fun weekend away. And that your doctor's appt. gets you some answers/resolution of the anxiety issues. Hugs - M
from camham :
P.S. Send me your PW again. I know I have it right and I can check your diary from every computer but this laptop. [email protected] Just to double check.
from silverscorp :
You are having to take on so much and the added stress doesn't help a bit I know. Everything will get better before it ever gets worse. Remember when we were new moms and we both struggled getting our boys to sleep in their cribs through the night? And we never thought it would get better? Well it did. And Camden will sleep in his bed through the night and one day you'll look back and we'll talk about how we never thought they would. Aidan wakes around midnight every night too. He whimpers and/or cries and will usually fall back asleep on his own. Sometimes he'll get up and come in our room and other times Tim will go in his room and put him back to bed. So your not alone. I think you feel guilty being away from Camden or you feel like you don't spend quality time with him and that may be why he;s acting out, but I don't think you should be hard on yourself. I too wonder if I spend enough time with Aidan. I know he wants me to play with him and I always seem to say "later okay". That's awful of me. You are a wonderful mother and woman. You do want you feel is best for you and you family and don't blame yourself for Camden's actions. He's a sweet boy. You've done an amazing job with him. Believe me. I read you looking for tips on raising Aidan.
from princessreva :
You are doing a wonderful job - I know it's hard to see and wow I wish I could give you a vacation, but you love him, and and boy howdy that's sure hard to do. Today Jared looked at me and told me that if we have another daughter, he's sending her back (she learned how to scream in casual conversation today). I am pulling for you, and especially for a vacation!
from nicolerenee :
Well, you reacted to Ryan just how I thought! lol. And a typical man...JUST what Chris would have said. I understand your stresses, oy vey, I understand! Just imagine you had Camden and then a one year old and a six year old! That's my life. Keaghan is just so difficult. I feel for you in so many ways. Try not to feel so guilty about working. You are doing what you feel is best for your family right now. I know everything will work out for you, and soon. God bless, hun.
from mamabean :
I empathize totally with what you are feeling, and I'm sorry you are feeling that way. Tired, resentful, overwhelmed, GUILTY... and it all just compounds into itself over and over again. Don't forget that God is with you and in you and can help you bear all that you have to bear, time after time, if you ask Him. I have to be reminded of that nearly daily, myself. We are new at this, still, and you are new to full-time working plus the Mama role. You will be able to iron out the wrinkles, and Camden will adjust, as well. You both just need time... and the other thing you need, which you have in ample supply, is LOVE. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Glad Camden is alright. I hope Ryan's hair turned out well. (Okay that was a bit sarcastic but I hope it made you laugh, anyway.) Hugs - M
from nicolerenee :
Oh my goodness!!! You must have had a mini-stroke! AND. I would have killed Chris, out of pure instinct. Your poor little baby...unfortunately, that is why we have Keaghan under lock and key, because she would do the same thing. I hope everything turned out ok.
from princessreva :
oh sweetie!! I'm so sorry, I know the feeling of wating to break your kid in two - and then you look at their face... gah, it just breaks me up. I'm pulling for you!!
from princessreva :
Good golly! She sulkd becuse you didn't want her doing drugs around yourchild? A nice swift kick in the tush could be ordered, I have lots of free time;)
from nicolerenee :
Ok, so I wanted to sit and enjoy my soup and read your diary all the way through. It just can't be done. Unfortunately, you don't have a next and prev button, to scroll through your entries...and the big butterfly picture at the top is at the top every time, so I have to scroll down till I get to your entry. :(
from silverscorp :
The terrible twos. Ah. Aidan throws his tantrums, but they concern things like not getting a drink or a piece of candy. Not a day goes by that I don't get frustrated with him, but it doesn't mean I dislike my kid, like you were saying. So don't be hard on yourself. Austin sleeps so much and is such a calm baby that it makes it easier to deal with a toddler too, but if Austin was anything like Aidan when Aidan was a newborn then I just know I would be needing some meds to handle depression or something. Camden does look so big and I mean as in a little boy, not fat. Hard to believe at one time we were dealing with sleeping in their cribs throughout the night issues huh? And now they're in toddler beds. And you look so fabulicious! Seriously!
from theflyingrat :
Yikes... I don't miss those days! There was one time where my mum had to hold Riley down while I buckled him into his car seat. It took us about 10 minutes! It DOES get better, lots better. I would keep up with the time-outs. Riley went through a phase where he laughed when I put him in there but he laughed more because it irritated me than because he actually thought it was fun to be in time-out. I like the atomic vomit green color. :) Riley has that same Cars poster. And the blue train green train book, haha. Also, I think your little boy looks a lot like you. ♥
from silverscorp :
I'm so happy for you concerning your weight loss. You better be real proud of yourself because you did this all on your own. You have such willpower! I so hope Camden feels better. Just keep trusting your instincts. I took Aidan and Austin to the ER and they didn't even have fevers. Hearing you talk about your new job and what life feels like and is going to be like with Camden leaning on someone else honestly really gets me thinking about working again.
from mamabean :
Aw... I'm sorry to hear about Camden's ear infection! I hope he feels better and IS better very soon. Hang in there Mama... it's toughest on the mother, I think. Kids are so resilient! :)
from silverscorp :
Heather I hope Camden is okay. Let us know okay.
from theflyingrat :
Congratulations on the job!!
from mymemry :
Yay for RYAN!! CONGRATS to him!! Moving on up - Cam will now have a taste of being one of the youngest in his new class huh? That is good - that they have it both ways for awhile. Nathan is one of the oldest in his MDO class. One of the smallest too. Ha ha. How much DOES Cam weigh? And his height? I had to LOL about the monitor. I have ALWAYS had a monitor in his room, I even have video in there now and LOVE it. I can just turn on my TV and see whether he is covered up or not, whether he is in bed or not, etc. I am obsessed with my monitors. I have 2 now because of Ava. I carry them around everywhere, even if I am just one room over. James just shakes his head at me. Pumping will work fine at work. Lots of people do it. I wouldn't be able to because I have a hard time getting my let down reflex without actual nursing from a baby - but I think I must just be weird. YES!! Let's let them get dirty and have FUN!! I got so mad at Nathan for coloring on his chair this morning with crayon. It comes right off with wd40. I mean RIGHT off. I don't know what gets ahold of me sometimes. I have to loosen up. MUST. For my peace of mind. Plus I don't want to scar him for life with my ridgid rules. talk to you later. Julie
from mamabean :
Best wishes for both of you getting the jobs you really want and for it all working out for the best for your little family. Those non-stop colds are the worst, aren't they? Ugh! And AMEN on the PMS thing. I am not a huge fan of taking the pill, but I take it anyway because it helps my mood issues so dramatically! SO dramatically!
from theflyingrat :
That's terrible about your MIL... I hope things work out okay. I never know what to say when people give me compliments either. Blah. :)
from silverscorp :
OMG! What was she thinking? Well my advice would be to upfront with her about the issue and definitely have Ryan, since she's his mother, say something first. I mean the bottom line is if she can't be responsible then Camden shouldn't be alone with her. But maybe this will be an awakening for her and she'll realize he's more important. Well heck anything is more important than drugs!
from mamabean :
GOOD HEAVENS! I hate to sound like a Polly Anna, but that really blows my mind! She was SMOKING POT in the middle of the day while she was watching your SON? I can't even tell you what I'd do because it just sounds so unreal to me. I most certainly wouldn't leave Alex with anyone I thought would be smoking pot while they were responsible for her. I wouldn't leave her with anyone who EVER smoked pot. It's illegal, for Pete's sake. And that's just the FIRST issue that comes to mind. I'm stunned. I hope this isn't too strong. She's your mother in law. It's a delicate situation. But he's YOUR son... You have to protect him no matter what... STUNNED, I tell you.
from mymemry :
We just got back from our trip and I'm here trying to catch up. I'm so sorry about that first night. I haven't even finished reading to find out how the other nights have gone since then. I don't have any 'solutions' for you regarding the toddler bed. We moved nathan into a full size bed and he did fine - but Cam is very mature for his age in terms of motor and such. He is BOUND to get into trouble... Lol. Is Cam's room totally kid proof now? I know he can get out of his room. We've turned the lock around so Nathan can't lock himself in. It could be that we will have to lock him in (just at night) to keep him safe. We have a monitor in there, so we'll know if he's awake and trying to 'escape' his room. I imagine it will just take some getting used to. The freedom of being able to get up and out and roam.... I have lots of stuff to share, but don't have time to type everything now. We are all short tempered once and awhile. I've learned that letting go of trying to control a situation that you really can't control helps alot. When Nathan just REFUSES to take his nap - I've popped him, I've threatened him, I've done this or that. I just let it go and give in to the situation. It helps me anyway - to just let it go. I'll be back later. Julie
from mamabean :
I've gone into "non-verbal" mode again. I'll be back soon, I promise! Thanks for checking in, that makes me feel so loved... which is good! :)
from mamabean :
I haven't tried the toddler bed thing yet. I'm too fond of knowing I'm in charge of when she gets in and out of bed and how long she stays there. I will say that you ARE definitely being too hard on yourself. We all get exasperated (particularly after long nights with little to no sleep) and cranky/snappish/loud and we all (including me) have to learn to forgive ourselves as easily as our kids can and do. Hang in there and know that I think you are a wonderful Mom, and more importantly, Camden does! Hope tonight goes better!
from nicolerenee :
Ok, I must admit, I haven't been reading your diary since, well, you dyed your hair blonde. Then you locked it up, and I hadn't been able to get in. I did email you about 3 times to get the PW...but then I felt like a STALKER so I stopped. lol I just read a few entries back...have you always been a christian? Maybe I totally missed that? Am I losing it? Have you been one your whole life? How did you become one? Sorry-a million questions, I know! :)
from mymemry :
Lol. That is funny. I just totally missed the just kidding part. I was actually shocked when I thought you did that. Shocked like you wouldn't believe. That was funny. lol again
from camham :
Thank you for the prayer. You're right, it is a long road, but I am excited to. Like I said, it is all new to me, so you will probably read about a lot of things that I am challenged with. Luckily, lately, I am hearing this little voice in my heart, redirecting me to do things that are more kind and loving. Maybe that is God. Either way, I know I felt a great relief today when I kept saying over and over in my head that I am just going to continue "getting right with God". No matter how hard it is. By the way, in my future, I think I want to get baptized as a family. Neither Ryan or I have been. Or Camden. So, I think that my goal for later this year, maybe even next Jan. will be to get baptized as a family. I want it to mean something to us all though, so I am going to continue to "listen more" and open my heart to Him to teach me. Thanks for all your support. You are a sweet woman. I'm so jeal of Megan for having the pleasure of meeting you. Boo hoo. I have a great neighbor who is very Godly and I want to try and nurture that relationship a bit too. I may even check out her church with Ryan this weekend. His family grew up in that church so I think he would like to go there. Heather
from mymemry :
Heather, it IS hard. So hard. But You did exactly what He expects of us when we screw up. Confess it, and keep on keeping on. Isn't it amazing how (when we let Him) He shows us all the yucky stuff that is there? That we didn't even know about? I have SUCH A LONG way to go. I've gotten out of the habit of prayer and reading my bible. I've gotten used to just having all kinds of mean thoughts about others and stuff and just not dealing with that little voice that tries to show me I'm wrong. Like I said, I've got lots of work to do. It's not just me saying I want to get back to where I want/need to be with him, it's HIM having to change my heart so I can do what it takes to have that relationship back. You are so wonderful and I am excited for you. It is a lovely ride - walking in the spirit. I will pray for you, I will, I will, I will.
from mymemry :
Heather - I am straying right now. BIG TIME. I REALLY REALLY need to get back to what I know to be true - when I live my life with HIM at the center it just goes better. Loads better. BUT it is SO HARD. For me. For any of us to do on our own. He will be in charge of it if we ask Him to be. I know I just need to take the time to say "Lord, I've strayed once again and I need you. I need you to help me to place you at the center of this life you've given me. I need you to help me pray, help me obey, help me stay away from the things you have called me to stay away from. Help me be a better mom, help me be a better wife, friend, etc." He will guide you if you LET him. He will help you achieve the desires of your heart - he knows what is best for you. You have given me the jump start I NEED to just go to Him and ask Him to take over again. I find myself just muddling through the day with the kids, not REALLY being there for them like I want/need to be. I am not their babysitter, even though I act that way A LOT. I am their mother, their teacher, their guide to the Lord. I am not acting that way right now. I am also not taking care of business in the house like I should be. Or being the kind of wife that my husband needs for me to be. I am caught in my own funk. My own mixed up selfish ways. The Lord will lift me out of that and help me to get back on the right track. He is faithful - even when we are not. I think we should try to help each other - be there as support and encouragement. Like we used to when our boys were having such sleep difficulty. What do you think? Me? I think I am going to go pray a simple prayer and start working toward allowing God to be in charge of me again. Sometimes it is GREAT. SO GREAT. Sometimes not. He calls us to be stretched in ways we would rather not be. BUT, I know that His Word says that he will be faithful to complete the work He started in us. Have you ever actually 'prayed the sinners prayer' and asked Him to be the Lord of your life? Confessing that you are as sinner and asking Him to forgive you? Really believing that he died for us on the cross? For ALL sin? And that he rose again and is now in Heaven at the right hand of God? Serving as Lord of all who invite Him in their heart? I got saved at age 19. It was amazing - I used to have SO MUCH chaos in my head and it just vanished into peace and quiet. I gave Him all of me, but have taken just about all of my back now. I know what I should do and how wonderful I feel when I do it, but there are so many things that get in the way.....
from theflyingrat :
Happy New Year! I hope everything goes great for you this year. ♥
from theflyingrat :
Happy birthday Camden! I can't believe he is two, the time just goes by so quickly! ♥
from silverscorp :
I smack mine across the face if he does the limp leg thing. :) Just kidding! No really just today we were at the mall and he did that and it was because he didn't want any of us holding his hand. I kneel down to his level and have him look at me and I tell him sternly that what he's doing is not nice to mommy and he needs to be good for mommy. Then I say okay? And he goes "oooooookay". Tim and I do spank though if you're curious. Well it's more of a pat the bottom thing I guess. Because he just kind of hops away and doesn't cry, but sometimes he'll give us a sad look and then we explain why we did it and he says once again "oooookay".
from bubbles11090 :
ok, umm I just left you a note asking for a password because I could have sworn the last time I tried to read here it was locked. So, it was my surprise when I clicked on your diary and it opened right up!!! So, ignore my last note! btw, your pictures are great! I cannot believe how big Camden is getting. He looks like a little boy.
from bubbles11090 :
I thought I had sent you a note, but I think I forgot....could I have your new password?? My email addy is [email protected] Thanks:)
from mamabean :
I say, "Stand up on your legs and walk. If you do not come with me RIGHT NOW, you will not get to (insert thing she wants to do that is coming up quickly)." That has always worked for me. She knows I mean bidness by the tone of my voice and she knows I will deliver on my promises, too! :)
from silverscorp :
The feast looked awesome! And Aidan has had a reaction to bubbles too. We stopped for a few months with the bubble baths and he started taking showers. Just recently did he start asking for baths with bubbles again and so far we haven't seen a reaction.
from theflyingrat :
Cute photos! :)
from mamabean :
On the contrary, I thought that entry was very UN-boring. Your thought process about having another baby is so much like mine. It is nice to know I am not the only person out there that analyzes the situation nearly to death and still comes up with no firm answers. It is just a sign that we aren't ready. We aren't ready. Surely there's no shame in that. In my case, it may mean I will not be ready in time to have another one, in your case, I think you have plenty of time. It's fun to think about another baby, though, no matter what we decide, isn't it? Yummy.
from mamabean :
Have a great day! Ryan must be feeling much better, huh? That's great to know. Cheers, my friend. M
from silverscorp :
Tim's work had deep fried turkey and it was great. SO we're having both fried and oven turkey this year. Have a great holiday and enjoy yourself!
from mamabean :
Goodness! Please give Ryan our best wishes for a full and quick recovery. You are amazing, pressure washing and painting and nursing a surgical patient and caring for a little boy who I am sure, while a complete gem, is also a typical toddler and quite a fireball to keep up with! I TOTALLY got the neck/shoulders shot and now will be taking my own, as I am a nuzzler and nibbler, too and Bean's neck and earlobes and shoulders are such delicacies to me! Camden looks adorable with his new hair cut... He does look a bit more kid-like and less baby like... I guess that is bound to happen sometime. I lament about the same thing when I put Bean's hair in the little piggy tails - she instantly grows from my lil beebee to my little girl. Sigh. I miss my little squidgy Googy, too.
from mamabean :
You're awesome! Awesome awesome awesome. I couldn't be happier for you if it were ME. Yay Heather!
from silverscorp :
He does have the bluest eyes I have ever seen! Just gorgeous! And you look fabulous. I mean you really do. So kudos for you!
from mamabean :
Your body looks FANTASTIC! WOWZER! Congrats on the weight loss - I'm REALLY proud for you. You set your mind to it, and you are doin' it, girl! GO YOU! :) Really, Heather, you just look amazing! Sorry about the family photo session. That is always a hit or miss thing when you take a kid out of his/her normal environment and ask him/her to "look natural" and smile and be still, etc. etc. etc. I love the candids at home idea... If I could find someone to do that for us, I would jump on it! We need an updated family photo with the big kids this year. Anyway I'm glad you had fun with your girls. If you are tired of going out and dealing with drunk men, maybe ya'll could start a Bunco group and stay "in" but still have drinks and food and laugh a lot. Just a thought. xoxoxo -
from silverscorp :
The family picture is going to look fabulous!
from mamabean :
I think life just goes in cycles for everyone...sometimes up, sometimes down, sometimes just level. I haven't ever met anyone who didn't seem to fluctuate quite a bit, once I got beneath their surface. Wouldn't you say it's pretty normal? I mean not dramatic ups and downs, but a steady pattern of rises and falls? I'm so glad you had a nice night out with Ryan. And for your constructive conversation, too. Sounds like progress to me. :) No nooky... hee hee.. that's cute. Nooky will come in good time, I'm sure.
from mamabean :
I just found an old note from you at Friedokra requesting the password... did I send it to you? I don't know how old the note is, and I can't remember if I have seen it/responded to it before. How weird.
from mymemry :
Your entry makes me sad. I'm sorry about how things are going. I'd like to know a little about your beliefs, and Ryans. I do understand how you feel and this may be time for BIG changes in your life. It sounds like you need something. I'm going to pray about it and get back to you. I love the pictures and like Jemma - Especially the last one. Yall just look so angelic together. I'll be in touch soon. oxox Julie
from silverscorp :
I'm sorry to hear about you and Ryan. Hopefully things will get back into routine after school. Camden looked absolutely adorable! And I love your pumpkin. I've never carved a pumpkin. I should do that next year.
from mamabean :
I agree with everything you've said. We do have a responsibility to protect our families from things that will hurt them. We definitely want our actions (and our spouses' actions) to portray the values we want to impart to our children. I think you have valid concerns and make valid points... only thing is, you have to find the right way to make them to Ryan, so that he can hear what YOU really mean, and not what he EXPECTS you to mean. That's the hard part. I remember a conversation I had with Al shortly after we were married... I have done things in the past that I am very ashamed of, and he knows about those things. I simply told him, "Honey, I love you so much and I'd never want to make a dumb mistake to jeopardize the trust we have for each other. So I'm telling you right now that I am NEVER putting myself in any position to do something stupid to hurt you or embarrass you or US. If there's an opportunity arising for me to mess up, I'm removing myself from the situation." He seemed touched by my vow and said, "I know what you mean and I agree. Nothing would be worth messing things up with you." And we've kept to that. He goes out with his friends, but he comes home early and limits himself to 2 drinks. I do the same. It's a respect thing. I WANT him to go out with his buds, though. I just want to know he will honor me even on those occasions, as I do him.
from mamabean :
I loved your answers! I miss my car when I go away, too. And my answer for the stick shift question would have been word for word the same as yours. Actually, I would still prefer stick shift, if not for needing a hand free to pass Alex her goldfish crackers. :)
from bubbles11090 :
could I have your password?? [email protected]
from tequilamonky :
oooh you're all locked up! Hope everything is okay. Any chance I could have the password too?
from theflyingrat :
Do you think I could have the password, pretty please? I hope everything is going okay. ♥ [email protected]
from silverscorp :
[email protected]'s my email if you want to see the pw! Hope all is well!
from nicolerenee :
Hey there..either you just locked up, or you had been, and my computer lost the PW's. Anyway, if you want to, could you send the info to: [email protected]? Thanks!!
from mamabean :
THAT IS FANTASTIC! I feel inspired, but I think it will still be awhile for us... Alex is still VERY happy to stay in her crib. I want to see Mr. Camden in his bed!
from mamabean :
It sounds like you are doing a great job with your diet/exercise regimen. You have an awful lot to be proud of, my sweet friend. I somehow missed the picture of your new hair... I read the entry but couldn't scroll down to see the pictures. I finally got to see it today... It's beautiful! I bet you look even more like Camden now, which is neat! Love, M
from nicolerenee :
Oh my goodness...I LOVE IT!!!!! I still don't have the guts to do it, and I'm pretty sure my hairdresser won't do it for me, lol. I'm glad you got what you want, it looks awesome!
from tequilamonky :
Oh wow the hair looks fab! Really suits your colouring too, looks natural to me. Sorry for the headcolds, it seems there's a lot of illness around diaryland at the minute, lets hope everyone gets well soon!
from nicolerenee :
I'm SO jealous! I want to go blonde sooo bad, but I'm too chicken. And my stylist always talks me out of it too! Can't wait to see pics, you will look fabulous. :)
from silverscorp :
Don't fret he of course still loves you! Oh and I made sure there was a lot of ventilation when I worked on the nursery.
from nicolerenee :
Oh, he still loves you!!! He doesn't remember yesterday, trust me. And being sick while caring for a baby is a nightmare!!! When Kaleb was 3 months old Kyra AND I had the stomach virus. So I had a one year old, a 3 month old and a puking 5 year old when I was too. It was horrible. I hope you feel better soon!
from nicolerenee :
LOL! I do that to...the kids watch a show every morning while I get them dresses and get Kyra and myself ready to head to the bus stop. No worries!
from mamabean :
I do TV for that reason too. NEVER much at all, but enough for a sanity break for Mama. :)
from silverscorp :
Heather you are just breath-taking! I hope you know that. I love your haircut. I need to get mine cut and I was thinking about going that short.
from friedokra :
That letter to Cam was beautiful. He is so lucky to have a Mama who loves him so dearly and embraces her Motherhood so thoroughly. You are both such treasures!
from silverscorp :
Hey good for you on the diet! Sounds like you are doing great. You're feeling great which is the important thing. I so want to hear more about the possible position. It sounds so interesting.
from silverscorp :
Hye girl. I have all the weight watchers stuff. I do the online program, because I can't seem to get out to the meetings. THough I think the meetings would encourage me to stay on the program. But yeah we can help each other out if you want. I have a thing about sweets too, but my biggest problem is pasta. Even just ramen noodles. I crave fettucine all the time its crazy. That and spaghetti.
from theflyingrat :
I notice that when I don't get enough sleep, then the next day the foods that I want the most are sugary things - soda and chocolate. We just DON'T buy those things and that way they aren't in the house. Otherwise I'd probably eat them all the time too. ♥
from theflyingrat :
We all have our moments where we do/say something that we regret the minute it occurs. It happens, don't beat yourself up about it. You're a good mother. ♥
from silverscorp :
Hey Heather. It's Jen. I just wanted to apologize to you as well as Julie and Megan for leaving and never keeping in touch. I'd really like us to talk again, but understand if not. I'm back at silverscorp. Take care.
from theflyingrat :
I love all those photos! He has the blondest blonde hair - so sweet. I'm glad you had a good time with your friend as well. ♥
from mamabean :
He's a living doll, Heather. He needs a modeling contract! His girlfriend is precious, too. I love that shot of them together. :)
from theflyingrat :
My niece had a really rough time being left at her school at first. She adjusted pretty quickly though and now she loves it. ♥
from mathero :
And he took it. And now I regret it. Well, maybe not regret because now I know how he really feels. And it's not like this is a one-time thing. We've been having problems like these since we were first together. I'm kinda all done. I'm going to work and I'm not coming home tonight. I left him a note on the counter saying.. "We won't be coming home & Don't call me." Maybe I'm being irrational but quite frankly, at this point, I don't care. I got no sleep last night. I cried basically the entire time. It just hurts, ya know? My own husband considers me a 7. a flippin' 7! *sigh* I'm ranting. But anyhow, I don't want to talk to him at all right now. I just want space. -Heather
from appleofureye :
So glad to hear things went well!!!
from mamabean :
I'm all teary-eyed! He is such a dollbaby... and so so so beautiful (I say that a lot, don't I? Well, he IS!) and he looks more and more like YOU every day. I am so happy he did so well, and you did so well, and everything went as predicted. Here's to a pleasant day again tomorrow for you both. Brave, independent Cam and his courageous, encouraging Mama! And congrats on Mama and Dadda, too. Awesome! :)
from theflyingrat :
I wouldn't worry too much about Camden's talking. I know that everyone SAYS kids should know a certain number of words by a certain point but in my opinion, that is crap. As long as you can tell that he UNDERSTANDS then his thinking is fine and that's what really matters. I have a younger cousin and she didn't talk until she was 2.5 years old! Actually, she COULD talk she just wouldn't because everyone wanted her to so badly. Her mother peeked in at her once playing in her room on her own and heard her speaking perfectly! They had taken her to doctors and worried over nothing - her daughter was just STUBBORN. I'm not calling Cam stubborn, I'm just saying - maybe he doesn't WANT to talk yet. Riley was almost a year before he said his first word and then didn't really start talking until about 18 or 19 months. After that he was learning new words every day and I haven't been able to shut him up! :) I'm sure your little guy is just fine. (I know, it's hard not to worry though!) Whatever is thrown your way, you'll be able to handle it. ♥ As for putting him in a nursery class - there is NOTHING wrong with needing time alone. I felt such guilt about leaving Riley that we never even let my mother watch him until he was 11 months old. I don't think I'm going to be that way with our second one! Every once in awhile when I get time to myself, I end up being a better mother for it. Don't be too hard on yourself. ♥
from appleofureye :
Hey--I've read your page once or twice before, just stumbled on it from a friend's diary...but, coming from a teacher's point of view, I think it is an excellent idea to take your son to the nursery for a couple of days a week. If your son is not speaking, being around other children and other adults will expose him to language. I'm sure you do this all the time because your diary reveals what an awesome mother you are, but read to him a lot, sing to him, and do nursery rhymes and finger plays with him. This will also expose him to all those new words. Also, by taking him to the nursery it will help in his social skills! I teach Pre-K and I had several students this year who were never away from their mothers, grandmothers, or close family members. It took them forever to adjust and we went through many, many kleenexes! It will be good for him in the future. Plus, everyone needs a breather, and you are in NO way a bad mother for taking him to the nursery.
from mamabean :
You do a fantastic job as Camden's mother, Heather. I watch you think through things and come up with strategies for getting him through rough spots (like his sleep issues) and you are very thoughtful and loving and you truly CARE what happens to HIM, so much less than you care about what happens to YOU. I've seen you research and CHANGE YOUR MIND on things that you seemed very set against, when you felt it was in his best interest. That is HUGE, to me. You are a learning parent. Your life has been a loving laboratory where you've studied and experimented and tinkered and for that, you will be richly rewarded. As will Camden. HE IS NOT TWO YET. Don't worry about his speech... he'll catch on and once he starts, you won't be able to stop him. He is SO far ahead with his motor skills - I'm telling you he has just focused on that for such a long time that speech just hasn't been on his radar screen all that much. Patience my friend! He'll do it! And as for nursery school, he will love it, probably and you will stew over why he isn't more sad to leave you and be afraid he doesn't love you (which will not be the case). He's a beautiful, smart, loving, secure boy... thanks to his beautiful, smart, reassuring, supportive Mama. Now go eat some chocolate! You're fine! Hugs hugs hugs - M
from mamabean :
Smart AND beautiful, just like his Mama! :)
from mamabean :
You know you're a dedicated mama when being awarded your Masters is an afterthought to a full discussion of toddler words and toddler bedtimes and baby sister or brother for your toddler. Congratulations on ALL fronts... You have so much to be proud of, Heather and I feel proud just knowing you and having been along for the ride so far. I know you and Camden have many many more astounding accomplishments ahead of you, too! yay for you! M
from theflyingrat :
I had the same "argument" with my husband about when to start trying for another baby. Riley was EXACTLY the same age as Cam when we started having that talk, too. So odd. Anyway. Instead of just saying "I want another baby" over and over again, I explained WHY I wanted my kids close together. Again, same reason as yours. I went over the fact that kids are expensive no matter WHEN you have them and then I added that the sooner I have them, the sooner I could go back to work. Haha. That seemed to get through to him. :) I'm sure Ryan will come around. The difference is that this topic has been swimming about in your head for awhile and it's sort of new to him. It just takes a bit for it to sink in, you know? ♥
from mamabean :
I'm glad you are better... that must have been so scary. I completely understand your feelings about your friend's attitude about her dog. I don't know what the answer(s) is/are, but I do understand how her actions might make you feel less important than the animal that attacked you. I am just happy that you are doing well. And baby thoughts! How exciting. You have time to wait a bit AND still have the career you want, don't you? You're still so young... :) But I understand the baby itch. I feel a pang of it here and there myself... I can't wait to see new pics of that beautiful big boy! Love to all -
from mamabean :
Aw. But they'll always be OUR babies, won't they? I'm glad Ryan's feeling better. And proud to hear about Camden's swimming. I wish we could see a video of that! :)
from theflyingrat :
He has the brighest eyes! He looks so sad in that first picture. He is such a cutie. Thanks for sharing the photos. ♥
from theflyingrat :
Cute pictures. Lying down puts a lot more pressure on your mouth/head area, so that could be why he hasn't been wanting to sleep. He is probably anticipating that extra throbbing/pain in his mouth from teething. I can't believe I didn't think of teething as a culprit! That was the biggest problem for us as far as sleeping habits being upset. ♥
from theflyingrat :
That's great about his sleep improving. I always felt/feel guilty when I have to let Riley cry about something. Millions of people do it though and their kids turn out okay. :)
from theflyingrat :
Hey, I can somewhat sympathize with your sleep dilemma. Riley goes through phases where he just refuses to go to bed. Usually, a slight tweak in his routine makes a difference. Other times, he might have a stuffy nose (or cold, or whatever) and that messes up his sleep. One thing that helps Ri sleep at night is to make sure he gets a proper nap during the day... I know that doesn't work for all kids. Also, on days where he plays hard (especially if he's been playing outside) he sleeps better. I wish there was some magic trick I could let you in on, but I promise that as kids age the sleep situation DOES get better! ♥
from theflyingrat :
I'm glad you're feeling better! ♥
from theflyingrat :
I hope you're feeling better soon! ♥
from theflyingrat :
Cute swim photos! ♥
from mamabean :
So cute, he is... and the twin on the right looks like him (and you). I forget who the twins belong to, though so it could be just coincidence.
from theflyingrat :
Wouldn't it be nice to have even a fraction of the energy of a sick toddler? I'm glad you and Ryan are working through everything. Feel better soon! ♥
from theflyingrat :
Those are such cute photos! What a sweetheart. ♥
from theflyingrat :
I hope the counseling and the trip go well. It IS extremely hard to raise a child and those *bad* days seem even worse when your spouse comes home and doesn't acknowledge that you HAVE been working. ♥
from mamabean :
You did the right thing and I admire the way you did it. Brave, good, sensitive, caring, thoughtful Mama. Congrats on getting it done and doing it beautifully. Camden is a lucky boy! M
from joiedv :
Hello...He is so cute! He looks just like my little brother did at his age (he is 43 now!!! looks a bit different). Anyway, I just wanted to say that my oldest boy started vaulting out of his crib before he could even walk -- he was 9 months old. Lowering the mattress didn't help, nothing helped. In his case (there were no tents then) I lowered the side of the crib and festooned the floor around the crib with pillows and stuffed animals. And barricaded the door to his room with a gate, then another above it when he learned to climb over the gate! At least, my two younger children NEVER climbed out of their crib!
from mamabean :
My sister recommended spanking him the next few times he does it. My guess is that's not going to be an option for you! Wouldn't be for me, either. Ugh. Sorry I can't be of more help this time. I'll ask others though. I'd check with Jenn (theflyingrat) - Riley has been in a bed for quite awhile now! m
from mamabean :
He is beautiful and you are a beautiful, gentle, sweet, loving Mama. I am so happy you nursed and weaned with such ease and so successfully. That does my heart good. He does appear to be growing into a boy... I feel your pain (and pride...and joy) as there are days I wake in the morning and the face that greets me from Alex's crib has changed inexplicably overnight. It is surprising and amazing, isn't it? He still looks great in orange. Blue eyed blonde boy... he is just scrumptious!
from mamabean :
Great perspective! Do our faces have to light up when they are in their teens, tho? Can't we take a few years off then?
from busymomof2 :
I am sorry to hear about Camdens little accident. Fathers tend to be more calm then mothers. A couple months back my son was trying to get up from a sitting position on the living room floor and grabbed the grandfather clock to help him up, when he did that the clock started to fall, luckily my husband was very close by and grabbed it just in time but still when he did the force made the glass come flying out on top of my son. I was sleeping at time time and all I heard was crash. When I came out of the room my son was covered in glass and blood. My husband put him in the shower and I held his eyes open because they were filled with shattered glass. It was so scary but it looked a lot worse then it really was. Anyway I am glad Camden is ok. Take care and have a nice day
from mamabean :
Happy Valentine's Day to you and Camden and Ryan. I hope you DO find time for at least a few minutes of romance and love. It's hard when you're both busy/tired/stressed, I know, but you deserve a few minutes of sincere love and appreciation for all that you do, and so does Ryan! I love thinking about Camden drinking tea! I need to get alex's set down and see what she thinks of it! Hugs and kisses -
from mamabean :
He's gorgeous, just like his mommy. Congratulations on such a successful nursing relationship and transition to toddlerhood! I hope you are VERY proud of yourself, because you should be! Huge accomplishment! I'm constantly amazed myself by how easy things turn out to be after I've had myself all worried over them. Hugs to you and Camden - I'm glad you've updated twice so close together - I was missing you!
from hunterpoo :
Hey there. Sorry I wasn't able to keep up with the template. My computer is still getting back to normal after the crash it had. Anyways, sorry.
from bubbles11090 :
I love the new layout....very pretty and girly:)
from mamabean :
It's beautiful! I love it. Very you. It seems like I knew about your tattoos... maybe they show in a picture? Do you read Cam the Very Hungry Caterpillar? It is a good book for a butterfly lover! Thanks for the milky comments a couple of days ago. You gave me a lot to think about, and I think I will not put so dang much pressure on us to get done with bottles, yet. You're right, it's not a security blanket for her... it's a means of getting milk and a soothing time for both of us. Those pics of Camden yesterday were just gorgeous - he is SO edible-iciously cute! Hugs and happy new template day! Oh and thanks for the pants comment. What a funny thing to find out about someone!
from mamabean :
OH. MY. GOSH! i love love love your hair! It's wonderful on you... you look even prettier than before, if that's possible. :) I'm glad you went out and spent some money and time on yourself! You deserved it. And Camden does look VERY pleased with his swing - nice job Mr. Claus!
from bubbles11090 :
your hair looks so cute!!! That picture of you and Camden just sums up motherhood. You look so tired but also so content at the same time:)
from mathero :
Have a wonderful Holiday season!
from mamabean :
I went to bed at NINE pm last night, but normally we shoot for between 10 and 11 pm. Honestly I think you are what you are in terms of when it's best to go to bed, at least by the time you hit adulthood. I am generally NO good at all after about 11, and if I stay up late, I am done for the next day, as my body wakes up pretty early in the morning, no matter what. :) That's my two cents worth.
from arthursmummy :
Happy happy first birthday Camden!!!!!! I'm sorry I'm a day late, and soooooo sorry that I have not been leaving you any messages or notes in so long. Honestly it is not personal, I am just so behind on reading diaries and rarely get to sign anyone's notes any more. I really want to catch up soon! Hope everything is going well for you guys. xxx
from mamabean :
We are facing a similar decision about my dear sweet eliot. The move to Chicago will involve nearly 8 months in a highrise in the heart of the city... not the best situation for an elderly little cat used to going outside, and not all that good at keeping his litter box area tidy. So, we'll see what happens. It would break my heart to have to give him up, but I just wonder how happy he'd be in the new situation. Glad Cammie boy had a great birthday and is feeling much better. Alex doesn't eat when she's sick, either. It is scary, but I'm learning to see it as normal and acceptable. I much prefer the times when she can't get enough to eat over the not-eating times. Good to hear from you!
from tequilamonky :
Don't worry about his waking, I'm sure it was just a one off. Jaya has that sometimes just before she gets a cold so maybe that's whats up with little Cam? Hope you all slept well last night :)
from hunterpoo :
I love the bed head shot! hehe. I bet those are the pics our boys are gonna hate us for years from now.
from mamabean :
His eyes are even prettier and bluer when he cries. He'll be able to use that to his advantage with the ladies someday! Just kidding. Glad to hear from you... I WAS getting worried! You sound like you're doing well! Happy and content. Yay! Hugs - M
from bubbles11090 :
wow, his blue eyes are beautiful!!! he is so cute!
from thaichic :
He is the cutest Giraffe and you look great. Almost like you're glowing. Hope all is well with you and your family.
from aliboomboom :
He is so cute and you look great!! I saw that costume at a store, it's adorable. Oh and Griffin will hardly sit still for a picture either!! What rowdy boys!!
from mamabean :
He is just sooooo cute, Heather. He looks so much like you with those beautiful eyes and that cute button nose. I am always happy when you post pictures of you AND Cam, because it's fun to look at them and compare your features. The pumpkin photos were gorgeous - did you know that ORANGE is one of the best colors for people with true blue eyes to wear? I learned that on "What NOT to Wear" and Cam is a great example of how well it works. Anyway, he's so handsome. And you are so pretty. And I hope things are continuing to go well for you and Ryan. Hugs - M
from eerlijk :
Congratulations to Ryan!
from mamabean :
Hi Lovey! Congratulations to Ryan!!! That is awesome for all of you, Heather... I don't blame you for being excited. Hey, what woman hasn't at some point dreamed of marrying a fireman, right? You've got it all, baby! How did I miss your birthday! I know you mentioned October was your bday month, but what day was it? Happy Birthday a little bit late... I hope it was sensational and I am psyched about your SPA certificate - that will do you a world of good, little missy! I'm so glad to hear you all happy and pleased with life. When friends prosper and feel contentment, my heart always gets a little warmer. Hugs - Megan
from bubbles11090 :
yay!!!! I am so happy for you guys! I'm glad that everything is going so well for you guys!
from thaichic :
I think Aidan has the same top in Cam's September picture. I love tank tops on Aidan, well I think tanks on boys are so adorable. I wish I could get you to come over to myspace and read up on me. For a week now Aidan has been in bed in his crib between 7:30 and 8pm and sleeping in his crib till 6am-7am. I am so proud and I can't believe how well he's doing. He still wakes two to three times through the night but we can get him back to sleep within a few minutes usually. At this point I'm just happy he's in his crib. I plan to have a birthday cake, mainly for pictures and of course I know everyone else will eat it. But I'm right there with you concerning eating habits. I absolutely hate that my father insists on giving Aidan ice cream. I finally figured out that he just likes to feed him and really likes it when Aidan actually eats what he's trying to give him. So I replaced the ice cream with yogurt. Aidan too LOVES yogurt. What kind do you give him? I also bring Aidan to his high chair for feedings, but I do allow him to have his bottle anywhere. Unfortunately Aidan has weaned himself. I should have kept up pumping but I didn't. We've just been so lucky to him not getting sick at all so far. I love reading your entries because our boys sound so much alike. Aidan loves being outside as well. During the day I can put him outside in our screened in porch and he'll play and play while I clean up around the house. Well I'll email you a little later. I've missed ya.
from aliboomboom :
Griffin didn't even like his birthday cake. I bought one because I had a big party and wanted cake for the other kids and I wanted Griffin to smash his and get all messy but he didn't really eat it. I don't have a sweet tooth at all and I don't think Griffin does. I don't give Griffin any desserts either, just regular food. He's your child, if you don't want him to eat certain things then that's the way it should be. It might just get harder when he's older and visits friends and what not but for now, it should be fairly easy to control what he eats.
from aliboomboom :
The first picture is so cute!!
from busymomof2 :
Its usually hard for me to figure out what to write the first time I send a note to someone. So I will just start with HI and tell you that your son is so cute.
from bubbles11090 :
Hey!! I usually give him a sippy cup full of milk every morning with his breakfast. He drinks it pretty well...I have noticed that adding just a little bit of chocolate syrup helps tons. He will just sit and drink it all up! :) hehe. My doctor asked me how much he was breastfeeding, and since he's down to like once a day she said it was very important that he had whole milk. She didn't specify how much, but I would imagine that they could never have enough milk. Thanks for reading and leaving me a note:)
from frogmom :
you aree very welcome
from aliboomboom :
Oh that is so fun! I love Universal Studios. And don't feel bad, I hate it when people don't respond to my entries. I'm like "Why didn't anyone leave a comment? That sucks." I think it's normal. Your baby is turning into such a handsome boy. All that blonde hair, love it!!
from mymemry :
Heather, I just read your latest entry. I think everything you are writing about is very normal. You have LOTS going on right now too. Your 'roles' are changing quickly. You are juggling more now. I cannot 'let go' in my diary. I have family reading it and I don't want them calling me after reading an entry to give me their 'thoughts'. I have thought about starting another diary for 'me', but I don't want to. I am a pretty independent and private person when it comes down to it. James gets on to me all the time about not sharing 'stuff' with him. I think it's just the way I am. I wish I were more open like some of the ladies that are on my buddy list. But I'm not. I guess where I am going is that this diary can be for Camden AND you. You can always lock individual entries if you'd like to. Or you can start another diary. Or you may not need to or really want to. You may not 'need' diaryland like you did in the past. Or you may be too busy to. Or you may not trust your readers to be there for you? I don't know. My secret desire for myself would be to write as if noone were reading. To be open, honest, and whatever else. But I can't. I don't know how. I don't think I really want to. Or maybe I am just too scared to. I go through periods where I don't 'need' diaryland as much. But I am always drawn to reading, even if I am not updating or interacting with others. I really don't know if I am making any sense to you. I guess what it boils down to is this: Try not to worry about anyone but yourself when you are writing your entries. They are yours and yours alone. Others may come along to read. Some may comment, others may not. I just want you to know that my insides light up when I see you've updated. I care about you and what is going on in your life, in the life of your family, and in your sweet head. XoXo Julie
from frogmom :
Heather! Camden is getting so big and hansome! You dont sounds like yourself, I hope you are doing alright girl!
from mamabean :
You sound down... not like yourself. I hope you are okay! We are ALL exhausted by 9:00 PM. I don't know how you are also working on your internship along with being Cam's mama. You're a strong lady! Hang in there and vent as much as you want, whenever you have time. :) Hugs - M
from mamabean :
aawwwwwwwwwww... I know how you're feeling. I feel *all* of those things too. It's a new kind of love. I guess the purest kind, really. You know what, though, reading Jenn's diary about Riley helps me see that our babies do grow up, but they will always be the cutest, most amazing creatures on the planet to us, no matter what. There is sooo much to look forward to with these little ones. And Heather, you are doing a fabulous job with Camden. I can see something so special between the two of you just in the few pictures you've posted of you together, and I always hear it in your entries. He is beautiful and happy and healthy and has everything he needs because you are his Mama and you would move heaven and earth for him, and you prove that daily. Hang in there, babe! Oh and on the breastfeeding thing, no advice, but an extra hug and encouragement to talk to someone who DOES know her stuff in this area, so you and Cam can keep nursing as long as you both want to. Megan
from aliboomboom :
I had a dream about Jason from Laguna Beach last night and it made me sad when I woke up because he cheated on me in the dream. It's weird because I was almost depressed like it had really happened.
from theflyingrat :
Cute photos! ♥
from aliboomboom :
Twin girls, I am so jealous. I always wanted twin girls. Ian and I wanted four boys and then twin girls. We even had adorable names picked out for them. Oh well. It's probably too hard for me anyways. I have the shirt that your cousin is wearing, it's from Target. It looks cute in pictures, I should wear it more!!
from mamabean :
Yes ma'am, we have that problem recurrently too... at first, she was fine just having a little milk at 4 am and then going immediately back to sleep. Then she moved that feed to just a little bit later (like 5:45 at the latest) and wanted to be up for the day. It was way too early for me! But once again, Al to the rescue. Just last week he started putting cereal in Alex's last bottle of the day. About 2 ounces of cereal in 10 oz. of milk. And she has slept straight through until after 7 am ever since. Once again, I didn't want to do it, but once again, he was right. I guess the two previous kids taught him a thing or two afterall! Everything I've read though, about that little 'problem' (which is totally normal for our kids' ages) is to go check on 'em when they cry out, make sure they're dry, warm and comfy, tell them it's night night time, and leave them alone. And that should only take a few nights and they'll stop doing it. Incidentally, we did THAT once last week, the night before we started the cereal. She cried for about 30 minutes and went back to sleep. So who knows which one of the remedies, if not both of them, actually worked. Good luck! :) Oh, AND, I have started cutting Alex's second nap of the day down to an hour. I'm thinking she may have been getting too much sleep during the day. So now she naps from about 3 to 4 pm and then goes to bed around 7 - 7:30. That might help too. Good luck again!
from aliboomboom :
My mother always puts Griffin's diapers on backwards, what is wrong with grandmothers? It's not that hard!
from theflyingrat :
Haha. That's so funny. My mother put Riley's diaper on backwards once, not too long after he was born. I guess the generation gap is fairly obvious. My mother used cloth diapers with us, that was her excuse. :)
from thaichic :
LMAO! Heather that is hilarious! And so adorable. I love it when Aidan sits on his legs to! I was just going to post today too that Aidan really makes me feel like momma when I come home and I walk away to go wash my hands first before picking him up and he'll cry so hard until I scoop him up. It's sad, but so sweet at the same time. And FYI sleeping has not gotten any better for us. In all honesty it feels like its gotten worse. How are things going for you?
from eerlijk :
LOL...I was staring at the picture to see what was wrong then I noticed the diaper was on the wrong way. It made me giggle. =)
from thaichic :
Gorgeous pictures as usual. He looks like he has a tan going on, so cute. Aidan won't take to his sippy cup. He just doesn't grasp it well. Weird. He likes to drink out of cups and water bottles though. It's very cute and he does really well with them. Anyway good luck with MIL. I'm sure he'll be fine. Babies are tougher than we think.
from aliboomboom :
He is so cute!!
from bubbles11090 :
Hey!! I don't know if you have a Children's Place around where you live, but they have really cute footie jammies. Best of all, they are really affordable too.
from aliboomboom :
Isn't it great to have your period back? I'm sure you missed it like crazy!
from mathero :
I'm glad you had a great weekend. You deserved it.
from mamabean :
It's almost like once YOU set YOUR mind to it, they figure out what's expected of them, know it is not really negotiable, and they just do it. Isn't that kinda what it felt like to you? Good job, Camden, sleeping "on the road." :) Have sleeping baby, will travel! Hugs - Megan
from aliboomboom :
Tia does look spanish. She's a beautiful baby!
from mamabean :
OH NO... I don't wanna get pregnant again! Not now! My hair sprouts are standing up like antennae now. Only a few more months and maybe they'll act like hair again... I wouldn't want to mess that up. Hee hee.
from kris-tee :
Sure, what is your email address? I don't leave it in the notes section because my physco sister in law sets up fake diarys and try's to get in to my diary.
from kris-tee :
I hear you. I can not stand my mother in law. My diary tells it all. She is physco, my husband and I have alot of problems and a couple months ago were on the verge of breaking up and she was trying to convince him I neglected my child! Then, months before that, around 4th of July, she called me and told me I was a bad wife because I did not cook dinner enough, I did not keep the house clean enough, I was money hungry, (um, ok, I married a state trooper, that's how money hungry I am) and I did not respect his job because I sent his clothes out to the dry cleaners. Needless to say, I washed my hands of her and his father, well, his sister in law and as well, but that's a whole other story. So, she calls her last week playing the same card your mother in law did, except my husband Brad delt with her, not me. He told her no mom, Kristy would never keep Blake from you, she is not doing that. Kristy actually had me call you today to watch him, anytime you want to watch him, just call. I mean, my mother will call and say, hey, I would like to watch Blake, I miss him, what's good for you guys? Why all the sudden think I'm this evil person keeping your grandson away from you?? I tell everybody, I married Brad not, his parents, therefore I do not have to associate myself with them, I had Blake, he is their grandson, I feel sorry that he has to deal with them, but I would never keep him from them. Never. Who would do something like that? I swear, I will SO NOT be that mother in law that's like that. It's so physco. I am going to save this diary forever so I can remind myself what it's like to have a physco mother in law.
from mamabean :
yuck. what is it with in-laws? mine are very old, so we don't have the same issues. in my previous marriage tho, yeeeeeps! my MIL once tried to kill me. I think it was subconscious, but really, what household accident could possibly happen that explains a straight pin in a serving of mashed potatoes? anyway, that's *MY* problem. I hope *YOUR* problem gets resolved quickly. We should all be careful to remember these little incidents, so that we can avoid them and be GREAT MILs to our sweet babies' spouses. Ugh. Maybe they won't get married?! :)
from thaichic :
You know how I feel about MIL's so I'll leave that one alone. Anyway I have a question regarding the sleep thing. What do you do if Cam stands up in his crib when he wakes in the night? Since we've moved into this house, Aidan just will not sleep in his crib. We put him in there, he'll sleep for maybe an hour and then wake and cry. I watch the clock, but then I hear him shaking the crib, so I peep in and he's standing up. Should I just keep watching the clock and hope he sits down and goes back asleep? I figured if he's standing then he's pretty awake, but I don't know. What do you think? Oh and do you let Cam play in his crib or is the crib for sleeping only?
from eerlijk :
That's great that Cam is sleeping so long. My little one slept from 10pm and was still sleeping when I left for work at 5:30am. It's always nice to get a good nights sleep. :)
from thaichic :
Heather, I am so happy to hear everything is going great with Cam's sleep. You sound womderful. I mean you've always sounded wonderful, but I can read your excitement. Okay I'm sounding dumb. We're still working on Aidan.
from frogmom :
Wow you really scored on garage saling! The other day me got Maddie a swing for 2 bucks. She loves it! Its now hanging on our patio. Madison has a ball that looks just like that, but I know they are not the same. She got hers at the dollar store! LOL
from theflyingrat :
I love the photos, what a sweet little boy. I love those gertie ball things too. My little cousin had one when she was a baby but I never got one for Riley. I'm not sure why. ♥
from mamabean :
Oh Heather! I am soooo happy for your little family. This makes my whole weekend, really... I wish I could hug you both! Not because Camden's sleeping patterns have changed, necessarily, just because I love hearing about how peaceful you feel and how totally comfortable Cam seems to be. That's all anyone can ask, right? Parental nirvana! :)
from mamabean :
Sniffle! I got a great big lump in my throat reading about Night#2! Congratulations to both of you! I'm so very very glad it's going well and a bit more easily than you expected. Yay, Cammie-poo! :) Yay, Heathy-poo!
from aliboomboom :
Yay. I think that things like this are way harder on the mom than they are on the baby. I need to start working on Griffin soon.
from theflyingrat :
Here's the thing. There's an easier way for you and Camden, I think. When you put him to bed sit right next to his crib (but don't pick him up or make eye contact) if he cries. Sit where he can see you so that he knows he's not alone. Each night move a little bit further away from his crib. Eventually you'll be sitting in the doorway, then just outside the door. And eventually he will be going to sleep on his own. That way, he learns to put himself to sleep but you don't feel (and neither does he) like you're abandoning him. I don't know if that technique will work for you but it is just a suggestion. It is time consuming at first but I think it will be easier than letting him cry it out alone. (And if you don't try it I won't judge, haha because really - it's none of my business!) ♥
from aliboomboom :
You're doing great. Griffin still sleeps with me when he wakes up during the night so I have no advice. I suppose I should start making him sleep by himself. I just really don't care. Maybe it's because I am single and don't have to share a bed, maybe it's because I'm a sap, maybe it's because I never really liked sleeping alone anyways. Who knows? I just haven't even really tried yet. He sleeps there till he wakes up and then I get him when does. You are doing great though!! And I know that ultimatley it's probably best for them if they sleep alone. I'll just deal with it later on. And totally ask you for advice when I do!!
from mamabean :
Yes ma'am. He still knows how much you love him. He knows. I don't know why it makes us so mad at our hubbies... but it does. Well, for me, it was because the process was HIS idea. But he has had two kids, so I kept thinking it must be easier on him. And Al was able to just sit calmly and read while Alex cried, as I paced and breathed into a paper bag. How's he doing now?
from thaichic :
Heather I am right there with you. Which doesn't surprise me because you and I seem to hit certain new mom obstacles with our little boys around the same time. I of course too hate hearing Aidan cry. What mom doesn't right? We all know how it feels, we all know it sucks. Just keep trusting your instincts. I'm torn honestly between letting Aidan fuss. I've noticed a huge difference in his sleeping since a couple of weeks ago when Tim let Aidan cry himself to sleep. I was shocked. Tim stayed in the bedroom with Aidan in his crib (his crib is still in our room) and I went to the living room and turned on the air conditioner to drown out my poor baby's cries for his momma. I swear what seemed forever but was really only a few minutes I marched back to our room to rescue him and nurse him and he was sound asleep. Plus he was on his stomach. He made himself comfortable and fell asleep within a couple of minutes according to Tim. Since then Aidan still fusses and fights to stay awake, but he sleeps beautifully once he falls asleep. I can't put him in his crib and walk away while he's hysterical expecting him to fall asleep. I can't do it. I almost refuse to do it. So what I have been doing is when I know he's absolutely tired and just fighting it I warm up a bottle and sit him with his back against me and rock him. So he's leaning on me while we're rocking. He'll drink if he's hungry and is really good with pushing the bottle away which makes me feel good because I don't want him to feel he has to eat because its there. Usually he will squirm and squirm trying to get loose from my arms but I just keep rocking, remaining calm, and I'll sing or hum to him or just talk gently. Within minutes he's out and I'll rock a little while longer and then put him in his crib. When he wakes, like Megan said, he's happy and he doesn't wake up crying. I've actually went to check on him a couple of times only to find him sitting up and smiling. How cute. When we finally get moved into the house and everything is done, Aidan's crib will be in his room and I will start his naps and bedtime with the same routine but from now on I will be sure to put him in his crib before he's completely asleep, so he knows. Our little men are ready to sleep on their own I think. But I'm not going to say that I will just quit cold turkey nursing him every now and then. I still bring Aidan to bed with me sometimes and I'll nurse him through the night. I don't feel bad, because we're just starting out. I know this process is going to take more time on my part and his since I didn't do it in the beginning when he was younger so I'm not rushing him. I'm just proud we've come this far. I think you should just take baby steps and feel good about the little accomplishments. Like your doctor said, try five minutes, then seven and so on.
from mamabean :
ooooooooooog. I ache for you, having to make this decision about Cam's sleep. I really do. But I can't offer you advice, because this is one of those extremely personal child-rearing decisions that you just have to make at your own gut-level. Personal because Cam is your sweet baby boy, and you are the two parents who adore him most and will ultimately deal with the ramifications of whatever you decide. But I will relate to you a story, since you want to hear how "crying it out" (how I wish we'd find a more positive, less emotionally charged way to describe this process) has worked as a teaching method in the sleep arena in my family. Heather, I DO NOT LIKE HEARING MY CHILD CRY. I am gripped at the sound with sheer agony and an unrepressable need to SOOTHE her. I do not "believe in crying it out." I hate the idea. I do. I want to punch people when they use that terminology. It is heartless. "Crying it out" POOH. That said, here we go. A week or 10 days ago, Alex started fighting bedtime and naptimes. She's a busy, active almost-toddler with loads of things to do and explore. I'd take her to her bed at nap or bedtime, after going through our routine, and she would get furious with me. Furious! For a few days, I tried soothing, rocking, waiting until later "so she'd be tired" and so on. Didn't work. It just meant that both of us had to go through the kick, scream, wail process several times per nap or nighty time vs. just once. Or, she just didn't get a nap, which was equally as miserable. The weekend came, and Al was home, and he'd heard enough of my tales of naptime woe and dealt with more than one bedtime tantrum. So, he took over. I was ready to let him, actually, which is says something about how bad things had gotten. So, Saturday, Al was in charge. Naptime rolled around and I tried to put Alex down, listened to her cry for about 5 minutes and went in to get her up and soothe her. I took her in to see her Daddy, and he said, "When I get done taking my shower, little lady, it is naptime for you, and I'm not taking no for an answer. He took her to bed. She cried. For about 35 minutes. I was on the verge of hyperventilation, but I had to let Al do his thing. He's her Dad. So I left. Went shopping, hating myself the whole time. When I got back Alex was asleep but she awoke about an hour later, in a great mood, happy and playful and lovey. The next day, Sunday, same story first nap. She cried for about 20 or 25 minutes and went to sleep. This time I stayed in my closet with doors closed. I was cleaning it out, not hiding. But I guess it served both purposes. I was mad at Al. I didn't like this solution and I told him I wasn't going to do it during the week, because it was mean and too hard on me and on Alex. She woke up, though, in a good mood again. Her second nap she cried 20 minutes again. Still mad! Monday rolled around. Naptime #1 I put the little one down and left to clean my kitchen. She cried for 15 minutes. I was on my way up to do my soothing and rocking routine when I noted she'd gotten quiet. She slept for 2 hours and woke up happy. Nap #2, she cried for 3 minutes and was out like a light. For the rest of this week, she has whimpered a little bit prior to each nap, but gone to sleep or played quietly (and happily) within a few minutes. The key thing that makes me okay with all of this is just that she wakes up happy, and she isn't clingier or less "herself" after she's had a period of crying before a nap or bed. ( I am mad and sad and hateful, but she is fine!) In fact, she has slept through the night several nights (except Monday night, when she was sick) running, skipping the bottle she'd been taking between 4 and 6 am every morning for months. I can't tell you it'll work for you. I can't even tell you that I'd do this again with Alex - I'd probably have to let Al do it again, because it's just too hard for me. BUT, this is what I witnessed over the past 5 days, and it seemed like a good example to pass along to you. Hugs and all good wishes to you and Cam for a smooth and easy transition to a better sleep situation for you both. I'm rooting for you! m
from aliboomboom :
The college thing is a great idea. I wonder if they have something like that in TEnnessee, I"ll have to look into it!!
from frogmom :
thank you! I didnt make it tho, I am not that talented! LOL Cherub made it for me. Yes, Jerry adn I are getting along wonderfully!
from theflyingrat :
Ah! What a cute little guy you've got! I love that photo of him sleeping with his daddy. Do you have any photos of him with you? & I was wondering what program(s) you use to make the blinkies on your page. ♥
from aliboomboom :
He is so cute! Griffin used to make the biggest messes with those biter biscuits! It is exciting once they start eating regular food, it makes things so much easier! Griffin will eat anything!!
from thaichic :
Heather, he's so gorgeous! I can't wait for Aidan to get his teeth. Well I can and then I can't haha. You sound great by the way!
from mamabean :
Those are the cutest Camden pictures so far! They have all been cute, but these are just gorgeous! And yes, now is such a fabulous time with them, isn't it? So fun to see their little mental wheels turning, neat to watch them develop preferences and memory! I'm sorry about the car ride. That would be AWFUL! Poor little boy! So glad you updated and you should never hesitate to load us up with pictures of that sweet boy... he's edible! :)
from aliboomboom :
Way to go on the weight loss!! My sister lost 30 pounds on the low carb diet the first time she did it!! I have to get back on track with my weight loss. I still want to lose 25 more pounds! It is amazing how babies develop at different rates. Griffin is walking and doing all kinds of things whereas my cousin's baby doesn't even crawl and they are only 12 days apart!! I try not to compare but I find myself doing it sometimes, it's hard not to!
from frogmom :
I am so happy to hear your diet is going well! And that work is going well! How big will your pool be? I want a pool! It really hard not to compare when you have friends with kids the same age I think!
from aliboomboom :
He is so cute! If you get him to fall asleep by himself, let me know how you did it, okay? :)
from mamabean :
Two adorable pictures of one adorable boy! I think the way you got him to sleep tonight sounded very nice! I bet it was so much fun watching him settle himself down and drift off! Good luck tonight with whatever you decide and do... :)
from mamabean :
Not to worry... the notes are somewhat hidden if you are one of those people who keeps lots of things open on your screen at once. Hugs to Camden, who is sure to be enjoying his Mommy today! Happy Weekend. Let's all sleep in tomorrow and let the men do the breakfast gig. Mamas of Diaryland, unite! Hugs -M
from thaichic :
Happy Birthday Cam! Sorry I'm late. Thinking of you- Jen
from friedokra :
Alex is clingy off and on even now... mostly when she is working on a new tooth or otherwise not feeling well, or when she is working on a new skill and still needs me to help her with one part of it or another. which is pretty much all the time these days. i have no advice on the sleep thing. Alex cries at naptime now too... in fact, sometimes when I try to put her down, she starts whimpering when I just walk near her bed with her. I don't have any advice for you, though, other than to say just keep experimenting and using your Mama skills, and eventually you'll figure out how to help him settle. I empathize with how you are feeling... it is so hard to hear our babies cry, for any reason. And harder still when we are feeling tired, stressed, and needing time to ourselves, even if it's just for a short time. Blah! This too shall pass... They'll go off to college and we'll only wish they'd need us... for anything! And thanks for the sweet comments on my new diary. I'm glad to know you made it over and are liking it so far. Wouldn't be the same without you. Hugs - M
from theflyingrat :
Riley was clingy like that for awhile. I found that the more I ignored him, the clingier he got. So I'd play with him when he asked for attention and eventually he'd go off on his own (or fall asleep) and let me get things done. It's so hard to hear your baby cry though, isn't it? I'm sure Camden will outgrow it soon. I think Riley did by about 11 months or so. It's different for everyone. I suppose I'm not much help but just know that you're not alone! All of us mom's have been there (or will be) in some capacity! ♥
from mamabean :
I think it is so exciting that you are back to work and it's on your own terms, it sounds, to some degree! And great job on the diet, too! The Breyers and the Edy's Sugar Free icecreams are very good. We eat them exclusively here at home because Al has high blood pressure, and we love them. :)
from bubbles11090 :
hahaha! I got your note, and here I am sitting here eating Doritos and drinking a Pepsi!! How bad am I?!?!? Ugh. I need to lose at least 30 pounds. I need to just cut back on what I eat. I need to just pick a date and stick with it, ya know? I just love food!!! It's just so hard....You know that though:) HELP ME! hehe:)
from theflyingrat :
Hey. I am glad you had a good weekend with Ryan. I don't plan on going to work (at all! but maybe at christmas I'll work part time) until Riley is in kindergarten either. Or the youngest child, if we have more kids. Hope you have a good week and thanks again for all the kind notes! ♥
from mymemry :
Heather - I don't have a cheat sheet! I don't remember everyone's. Just a few. I need a cheat sheet for Jaya, Hunter, Riley and Aidan. I only KNOW Cam's, Arthur's and Alex's. Oh, I know Nathan's too. :-) Although Nathan still wakes about twice during the night - I keep reminding myself that he used to wake up to 12 times. One day we may even MISS this. We are so blessed to have healthy boys. I know you already know this. I just have to remind myself this sometimes - like when he won't let me walk 2 feet away from him!
from mymemry :
Heather - my thoughts are that you have hit the nail on the head regarding his developmental changes affecting his sleep. Nathan is quite unpredictable too. Sometimes when I go in he is sitting up and looks like he 'forgot' how to get back down. Or, he is on his hands and knees rocking back and forth. It is unlikely that their night time sleeping will be 'regular' any time soon. Try to remember how it was when he was 3 months old. He HAS come far. Hang in there, my friend. Kisses and hugs to the Birthday BOY!!!
from mymemry :
I have to go but will be back when I've read some more! Thinking of you. XXOO
from mymemry :
Regarding Aug 7th entry - have you taken him to the doctor yet? - you mentioned that in a previous entry.
from mymemry :
Regarding Aug 6 - I just LOVE this picture of you two - I think I already told you that but I will tell you again anyway. You have beautiful hair, beautiful eyes and a beautiful smile with lovely teeth! Did you have braces? I guess Cam's eyes came from you?
from mymemry :
Regarding your LOVE STORY: WOW!!! YAY!!! How very, very amazing. To think that if you didn't call him yall might not be married. That is SO very sweet. High school sweethearts who drifted apart and realized they were meant to be! Thanks for sharing.
from mymemry :
Regarding the August 5th entry: What time slots is your internship? Will your mom stay with Cam during that time or will Ryan be home with him? Do you have a reason to think that your milk supply is getting 'low'? Have you noticed a difference in Cam's night time sleeping since you started adding formula to some of his daytime meals? This might be answered down the line. If so, sorry. Glad to hear that relations with your inlaws are going ok.
from mymemry :
Hey there miss Heather. I am WAY behind on your diary. I have been looking for pictures - but not reading much. I am just now starting where I left off - August 4th entry. I HATE it when Nathan gags too. I still have him on stage 2 food but I am am also making some of his food and not puree ing it up so much. He gags a bit still - some days more than others. Are you fearful of him choking or do you just not like seeing him gag? I am sure you know this - but as long as the chunks are small and soft, it should be safe for him. I JUST started giving Nathan cheerios whole. I used to give him half 'C's'. Anyway - have you given Cam any O's or C's yet?
from theflyingrat :
I think it's funny (odd funny) that you compared heroin to sugar as an addiction. Because when heroin addicts need a fix but can't get one, they turn to sugar. In my experience (not me personally, but I knew some people...) anyway. Thanks for the note on my Riley's journal- I am definitely going to try the gum massage. If he doesn't bite my finger off in the process, I'll count myself lucky! :) Awww. I think you're a magic mommy. Sometimes babies expect more from their mothers so when they see their fathers they think "Oh well, I might as well play because I'm not going to get what I REALLY want." Daddies are great at playing, I've discovered. ♥
from bubbles11090 :
Ugh...I hear you! I want lose weight so badly. It's just so hard though. It sounds like you are doing great though. Maybe we need to be each other's support systems:)
from bubbles11090 :
Ugh...I hear you! I want lose weight so badly. It's just so hard though. It sounds like you are doing great though. Maybe we need to be each other's support systems:)
from mathero :
yum sand! haha. he's adorable. cute pictures!!
from aliboomboom :
Cute pictures. Griffin ate sand too and he didn't like it one bit!
from mamabean :
what a cutie! i wonder when they stop wanting to eat everything? the sleeping in sounds soooooo nice... i hope you get lots of Heather time while Ryan is around. Good luck on the new internship next week! (i think?) Hugs -m
from nicolerenee :
I just checked out your diary, from thaichics and your layout is so neat! If I didn't have my third baby growing my belly, then I would borrow your idea...but I think that would be too many pics!! :) I'm adding you, I hope you don't mind. xoxo ♥
from aliboomboom :
What a sweet love story. And doesn't it just go to show, what's meant to be will be. Yay.
from mathero :
I'm a little late but I wanted to tell you how incredibly sweet your love story is. It's funny how fate works. I truly believe you two were destined to be together, as I'm sure you do too. And I also think the picture of you and Cam is so cute!
from thaichic :
Heather what a gorgeous wedding picture. You are absolutely breath-taking. What a beautiful love story. You two are very blessed to have one another and Camden is blessed to have his parents completely in love. Looking at the two of you; I'm thinking we all would get along great.
from bubbles11090 :
Awww...such a great love story and a beautiful wedding picture too. Now I see why Camden is sooo cute!!
from theflyingrat :
I'll start at the beginning (and this might be long so brace yourself, haha). Being a SAHM was WAY more than I bargained for, too. I knew it would be work but what people don't factor in is a SAHM's lack of outside interaction. We rarely get adult conversation (and if we do it's generally about the baby!) and we never get time to ourselves. Babies are going to get hurt. I learned that the hard way and everytime Ri got hurt I would blame myself. It's useless though. He's bumped his head now more times than I can count. He's bitten his lip, cheek & tongue and drawn blood at least once on each occasion. It just happens and mothers feel more bothered by it than the kids do, I think! As for NURSING still. Don't stop because you feel like you should. If you WANT to, that's different. But don't feel guilty. I nursed Riley in the night up until he was a year old. And then I kept nursing him in the morning until he was about 15 months old. I would probably still be nursing if I hadn't gotten pregnant that time. So. Do what's right for you and screw everyone else. Your his mommy, you know what's best. Sometimes it's really frustrating to listen to your kid cry. Especially when you can't figure out what they want. You're a good mother and it is okay to feel overwhelmed. It sounds to me like you need a nice (and relaxing!) day off. ♥
from mathero :
yup! i did it all by myself. i used the new herbal essence hair color. it came out fabulous! definately an esteem booster!!
from theflyingrat :
Hehe. Wipe your hubby's ass? Or help your hubby wipe the baby's ass? hahah. Funny stuff. As for travelling. People take vacations without their children all the time. I don't but that's because we're poor, haha. And especially if you're going with someone else and you're leaving your baby with your husband. He'll be fine. I'm not saying you have to pack tomorrow but when you feel the time is right FOR YOU then don't feel guilty about it. Your kid(s) will be just fine and you'll probably miss them more than they miss you. I always miss Riley more than he misses me when I'm away from him. Hope everything goes good for you, I understand the jealousy (for lack of a better word) I feel as though I am missing things sometimes too. Babies are love, though. ♥
from mathero :
yay for no more class! and I confess I love towel shots as well. Cam is beautiful! He's got really gorgeous eyes!
from mymemry :
I sing it like the end of you too!! Great minds think alike. No offense to your mama :-) We JUST got back to my parents from our family reunion in NC. I will be heading back to FL on Wed. I am going to take a cold shower - it's HOT. XoXo Julie
from rdhdprincess :
Oh my goodness! Congratulatons on the first tooth! The new pictures are just beautiful. Camden is getting cuter every day! I loved the picture sleeping on Daddy.
from frogmom :
Yay for Cam's first toothie!!
from mathero :
yay for the tooth!
from mamabean :
yay toothie! :) exactly the same age alex's first tooth appeared, too... now she has SIX! they come in fast after the first one. give him a kiss from alex and me!
from theflyingrat :
Riley eats everything too. At least he used to, haha. And yum, seaweed. Yeah I actually like seaweed. Only I get mine at the supermarket haha. Glad you had fun! ♥
from mamabean :
aw... what a sweet story. I got a little lump in my throat just reading it! simple moments like that absolutely define motherhood, don't they? sigh. <wiping away a tear>
from mathero :
That is so sweet. It's moments like that when all your cares get washed away. Being a mother has so many rewards, that is one of them.
from aliboomboom :
Cute pictures! And that is a sweet story! AWWWW...I'll have to try that with Griffin!
from mathero :
What a beautiful baby! I wanted to let you know I was adding you. =)
from arthursmummy :
Yay for photobucket! I have over 400 photos of Arthur and me being pregnant in my account now!!!! I don't know where the limit ends, but basically you can store a LOT of photos there :) Thanks for your note about the blinkies. I don't mind at ALL that you used some of my blinkies for your diary! After all, I just scoured the net for them so they are not really "mine" anyway, and they say what you are about as well as me, so I'm glad you are using them! But thanks for asking :) Although I meant to ask - I have found a lot of really nice blinkies saying, "Proud to be a Stay At Home Mom" instead of "Mum", if you would prefer a non-British one! ;) I only chose that one originally because I am a mum and not a mom. Do let me know if you would like me to find them to show you. xxx
from theflyingrat :
I LOVE photobucket, haha. Now you just need to see what all the hoopla is about haloscan. Hehe. ♥
from mamabean :
toooo cute! yay photobucket for giving up more pictures of camden!
from aliboomboom :
Aw, he's so cute. I love photobucket and now I don't have to pay for diaryland. Yay for that!
from thaichic :
Reading today's entry was like reading my own thoughts. It's amazing how much our lives are so similar. So are you done with your degree or just the semester? What's your major?
from mamabean :
oooooooooo the tent thing is veeeeeeeery cool! i wish i had a huge basement with a playroom... alex would be all set!
from mamabean :
jiminy cricket! that's pricey! i wonder why it's so much more than the one at toys r us. since we last chatted, i've taken an honest look around at my home, and decided that we don't really have a place to put that huge thing without blocking main traffic arteries in our living space. and now that A is crawling and we've babyproofed, i'm wondering how much time i'll really need to have her somewhere enclosed? she can go pretty much anywhere now and there's no danger of her getting into anything harmful because it's all locked up. am i deceiving myself? maybe her pack n play will be enough for the times when i just have to have her out of harm's way for a few minutes?
from mamabean :
i saw a similar product at babies r us for about $90. i was worried it'd be unfair for Alex, too, and she wouldn't like it, but Jaya seems to really enjoy hers and she's a go-getter like her mommy, so I may try it. I guess it would be better than putting them in their pack-n-plays while we got a few things done? yes and oh, the fireplace. Alex discovered ours this morning, so it's time to come up with a barricade of some sort. A friend of mine suggested plexiglass cut to fit tightly inside the mouth of the fireplace. (you just bend it, insert and then let it unfold into the space). it'd be attractive and impossible for little hands to pull down or out or over. i loved the idea and will likely try it out.
from mamabean :
we're not doing juice yet, either. i agree about the water thing and learning to love it early in life. and if they haven't had juice yet and don't need it, why start now? i'm considering one of those baby "cage" things too. alex is eating my foot as we speak. so much for that baby who would just sit and play in one spot!
from mamabean :
we're not doing juice yet, either. i agree about the water thing and learning to love it early in life. and if they haven't had juice yet and don't need it, why start now? i'm considering one of those baby "cage" things too. alex is eating my foot as we speak. so much for that baby who would just sit and play in one spot!
from eerlijk :
Now that your images are loading for me.....I love your layout. It is really cute!
from tequilamonky :
Hi Heather! Got your note. The baby dan is great! It can be taken apart and used to block of sections of the room or as a gaurd round the fire as well as a playpen. I was a bit concerned about the idea of putting Jaya in a "cage" but actually it's not like that at all. It's nice and big and roomy so that she can walk around in it and she plays happily in there for ages. Often I leave the gate on it open so that she can come and go to it as she likes, but it does feel good when it's closed knowing she can't get herself into trouble. Jaya was 6 and a half months when we got it so I don't think 7 months would be too late. Hope that helps.
from frogmom :
thanks Heather! Actually my hair grows super super slow! LOL
from aliboomboom :
I am so glad that someone else watches Blow Out. I love it!! I think Jonathan is a total fox and I bet he's a great lover. He's so emotional too, he cries all the time, I love it!! I bet he does treat his girlfriend well too and I bet he does her hair for free. That is a great bonus, don't you think? And she's not even that pretty!! As for Melinda, I love her. I don't get that impression of her at all. I mean she's young and she's been with one guy for over 3 years and he's treated her like shit the whole time, of course it's going to cause her to have issues. I think that with Danny behind her, she'll become a really good person. I think he's just what she needs and I think that he really cares about her. I just think they are adorable. Dieting sucks but I've got to do it. I'm out of options. I just wish I could afford a personal trainer!!
from aliboomboom :
Griffin thinks all those things are hilarious too. I don't know why they find such humor in them. Griffin has the cutest laugh. It's really deep and wonderful. I love it. It's one of the joy of my days. As for juice, I didn't give it to Griffin for a long time and now he only gets it with half juice and half water. I just recently started drinking a lot of water so I'd like for him to start sooner.
from frogmom :
love the new layout!
from mamabean :
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! Kate has done it again! Don't you feel like a new you now?
from hunterpoo :
YAY!!! You did it!!! Glad you like it woman!
from aliboomboom :
Kate does such a good job!! She did mine as well. I love your new layout, it's gorgeous!!
from mamabean :
that's neat.. i love names with history. in my job, i used it to mean, "desirable elegance" as in i wanted to have events and run ads in locations and publications that had 'cache.' camden has "cache" too! hee hee.
from mamabean :
Hi Heather! Your note about Alex crawling was soooooo true. And she's improved so much and gotten so much faster in just a few days that I'm afraid I'm already seeing the beginning of the end of all the lap-sitting and snuggling I've gotten used to. Camden's motor skills are developing soooo early! Are you or Ryan especially agile, etc.? Athletic? I'm amazed! Oh, and is Cache a family name? It is a great word - I used it a lot in my marketing job... just wondering how you chose it... i like it!
from theflyingrat :
I don't know WHY my diary is locked! I'd give you the password if I had one, but I don't. I don't know what is going on, I can't even get into it! Geez. I am fine, really. I don't know what the problem is. ♥
from hunterpoo :
Hey Heather. First, thank you SO much for the comment today on my Grama. I definately am not offended by it. I'm going to ask about it today when we go in. I'm so lost in this, I'm glad people who know what to do are giving me tips, like you. I'm just so grateful for the support. =) As for your entry, great thoughts! I think I do just fine, and I wasn't able to go to the classes I signed up for before I had Hunter. We were dealing with planning my dad's funeral and dealing with the loss. I think being a mom is something that comes natural. A lot of things are common sense instincts. Although a book here and there of other's experiences are good. Oh yea, and online diaries where you can interact with other moms. hehe.
from frogmom :
thank you it is very pretty here! Do come and visit! LOL
from theflyingrat :
Hi there. I just got your note that you left on my son's diary. I don't know why I didn't get an e-mail when you left it so I'm sorry if it's been a long time since you wrote it! Anyway. You asked a bunch of things so I guess I'll start at the beginning. Yes, Riley got his teeth very early. Kent and I both did when we were little, too, so I suppose it was bound to happen. We chose to transition Riley from the family bed to a toddler bed. We were going to go with a twin bed since we already had one but we thought it might be too high for him. It wasn't that hard to transition. At first I was nursing him to sleep and then I switched to just lying down with him to get him to sleep. Then, instead of lying down with him I would sit at the edge of the (family) bed until he fell asleep. Gradually I moved further away until he was falling asleep on his own. Each time I would put him in his own bed after he fell asleep. If he woke up, I'd let him get in bed with us. After he was comfortable in his own bed I started putting him to bed there and sat next to it until he fell asleep, each night moving a little further away until he got used to falling asleep on his own. He has been in his own bed for months now and now he actually pulls at me to put him to bed when we get to that part of his routine. It took a little while but it wasn't hard at all. Next. :) Sorry this is getting long, I'd have e-mailed it but you didn't have one on your page. Anyway. I started giving him milk at about 13 months but we found out he was allergic to it so we switched to soy. He really liked it and it made it easier to cut back on nursing. I just stopped nursing completely about a month and a half ago because we were expecting another baby. It was pretty easy to do although people were always saying it would be difficult because Ri was so "old" but they were wrong. The last nursing "session" I cut out was the wake up one. And I only had to tell him 'no' the first 2 days and instead of nursing we read books. After that he only wanted books so I think I got lucky! :) I would really just do whatever feels right and natural for you, that's what I did. It's okay to nurse him past a year as long as you are comfortable with it but if you want to stop, that's fine too. Don't let people discourage you either way. You're a good mum! ♥
from aliboomboom :
I guess you are right. It just seems like the guys on real world are really short this time. THey are usually at least 6'0". I guess since I'm tall, I never even pay attention to short men. I could never date someone shorter than me after all, ew. I just read a spoiler and it syas that Danny and Melinda are still together. Yay!
from aliboomboom :
I think that you are both adorable!!
from aliboomboom :
I'm sorry to hear that you guys are having a rough spot right now. I'm not married so I can't say I know how it is, I'm sure that everyone goes through these times though!
from mymemry :
Heather, I'm sorry that yall are not on the same page right now. It sounds that you are frustrated, hurt and even questioning stuff. I don't know what to say except that I am thinking about you and will pray for yall. Just to let you know - James has never given Nathan a bath. I ask him if he wants to sometimes, but he always says "not tonight". He thinks it will hurt his back leaning over like I do. James does get up with Nathan some mornings, but not every morning. There are times that I wish that James would do more, but then I think about how hard he is working (being the sole breadwinner of the family), and how hard he is studying for the bar. Have you already had a heart to heart with him? It's no fun to walk on egg shells around your honey. Thinking of you. XoXo Julie
from mamabean :
Amen to the weight thing and the salary thing, sister! There was a time (the Victorian era) that round women were symbols of affluence and success. In fact, if you think about it, staying at home vs. working outside the home should be a sign of the same, really. It does make sense. Can't we go back to that?? Please?
from mystical76 :
I wish your hubby were more on-board with co-sleeping. I love it; I don't know how any baby can sleep without mama nearby. My little guy needs to be touching me all night in order to sleep well!
from theflyingrat :
Kent and I used to have that argument. He told me once to get a job and he'd stay home. So I said I would. I started looking and he got very nervous. Then he apologized one day after he had Riley alone for just a couple hours. Men just don't realise that just because we don't leave doesn't mean we don't work! We spend all day attending to someone who needs our attention [almost] every second. We don't get to eat when we want or even pee by ourselves! Also, I think taking care of a child is more demanding than most other jobs so you need your rest too. *sorry* Didn't mean to go rambling on you, just commiserating. As for co-sleeping, we let Riley sleep with us until he was about 18 months. Then we did transitions to get him to sleep in his own bed (we skipped the crib). I would let him fall asleep in our bed and then move him. Eventually he went to sleep on his own in his own bed. It's different for everyone. :)
from hunterpoo :
Oh my!! Standing in the crib already. I really am having flashbacks to a few months ago when we went through the same thing. I was amazed to see him sitting up without pillows, then he would stand if I stood him up, then pulling himself up, ugh... NOW. he does laps in the crib and throws stuff out. Pulls ANYTHING in that is within reaching distance. Oh.. it gets better.. they try to tip themselves out. Doesn't look like you lowered his crib yet. You may want to figure it out, just so you'll be prepared. hehe. He is so cute though. And the sippy cup DOES make it feel like they're growing. Hunt use to just play with his like another toy. Now he drinks all the water or juice I put in it. *sigh* And the staying up!!! It seems like they just want to keep learning huh?? Ok, I'm babbling. Camden is too adorable in the crib shots. And not too excited about the sippy. hehe.
from mymemry :
Hey there! I REALLY HAVE TONS to do still, but I wanted to leave you a quick note. My parents live in Kennesaw GA. Megan lives about 45 minutes away - we think. I hope it works out for us to get together - we'll see. Yes, I do pump for Nathan's cereal. He is really putting on some weight too. I don't know exactly how much he weighs, but some of his 3-6 month clothes are getting tight. (Yeah, he's still in 3-6 month stuff) Anyway, I pump in the morning right after he nurses for the first time (about an hour or so after he wakes). He usually doesn't nurse much - maybe he's holding out for breakfast. I am usually able to get about 3-4 ounces while he is still happy playing on the floor. It's funny that when you walk into Cam's room he's sitting up in bed sometimes. Nathan has not even tried to start pulling him self up. He's always on his tummy with his head cranked way up to look over the bumper to see if I'm on the floor in the spot I USED to sleep in. That always makes me laugh to walk in and see him looking down over the bumper at 'my spot'. He loves sitting up and playing - he stays put really - until he starts fussing for me to come play with him or scoop him up. He rolls quite a bit, but not across the room or anything. He's still nonmobile as far as that goes. Does Cam crawl everywhere? Or is he just getting started with the crawling? If he is crawling everywhere - no wonder you don't have time to pump. It's hard to chase him around the house and pump at the same time. Do yall go to Disneyworld? Do you have a year pass? How far are you from there? I hope to have internet access at my parents' house - unless my mom screws up the computer - which she does quite often because she doesn't understand enough about it. OK, got to run. Talk to you later. Kisses to Cam. XoXo Julie
from mymemry :
Nathan and I are leaving tomorrow to go see my mom for about 10 days! I have LOTS of packing and laundry to do. Yuck! As far as Nathan's eating goes - I nurse him within an hour or so after he first wakes up (he wakes anywhere from 7:15-8:30 or so), then feed him breakfast about 45 minutes after that (rice cereal made with breast milk - about an ounce of BM, and fruit), then I nurse him prior to his first nap which he takes from about 10:30 or 11 till 12 or 1. Then I play with him for a little while till he gets a little fussy then I feed him lunch - veggie and fruit. Then we play some more before I nurse him prior to his next nap which he takes at about 3:30 or 4 till about 4:15 or 5:15. Then we play, and then I feed him dinner around 6 - rice cereal with 1oz BM, veggie and fruit. Then play a little till bath at 6:45 or so then I nurse him before bed at about 7:15 or so. He must be going through a sleep disturbance or something, because he is waking MUCH more frequently these last several nights. After I nurse him at around 7, sometimes I nurse him again around 8:30, then around 11:30 or 12 then again around 3 - 3:30 or 4. He has been letting me put him back in his crib, but he is eating about one more time in the night than he was before. I think to myself, "This too shall pass". I don't mind really - I just love snuggling up to him on our new bean bag while nursing him. We rub noses together. He's so cute. He now shakes his head side to side really fast. I think it makes him dizzy. If I see him doing it, I rush over to rub noses with him. We are so blessed, aren't we? Take care. Julie
from aliboomboom :
Thanks for the comment. It really was hilarious. People get mad because I tell people how I feel and I say it in a very eloquent way and what not. She made a reference to that in one of her pathetic attempts at an eloqent way saying that I plague everyone else with my opinions. Well at least I leave my name and diary info when I do that. I'm not scared. She's pathetic and it was really quite humurous to me. Aida and I had a good time laughing over it. The woman who wrote the comments is obviously miserable and she's probably not pretty and she probably hates me. Hell I've dealt with petty girls my whole life, ya know? Still I love you for defending me. I was afraid no one would!! As for Babies R Us, it's hard for me to go there without buying a ton of stuff as well. I went on Friday to buy Griffin's new carseat and I ended up buying two more picture frames and a crown that says Birthday Prince for his birthday and more baby wash. I so didn't need to do that. Thanks for standing up for me, I appreciate it. I hate being attacked!!
from mymemry :
Hey there miss Heather! I enjoyed your latest entry. Nathan is quite 'active' while nursing too. He finally winds down though and nurses peacefully - usually. I am not brave enough to nurse him in public. He takes himself on and off WAY too much for that. If we are out, I nurse him in the van or a restroom standing up. I want to know where you got his ABC... mat. My sister had one for her boys but it is long gone. I think that mat would be perfect to put on my wood floor in the kitchen. I am always concerned that Nathan will bump his head in there, so I don't usually take him in there to play on the floor while I'm in there. In nursing school, I LOVED my clinical in Mental Health. I was on the locked unit several times (did not like this as much because I felt paranoid, having to watch my back at all times). I really liked the unlocked unit. OCD, Anorexia, interesting personality d/o's. The worst for me was the geriatric unit - Alzheimerís' disease and Major depression. I agree that when you work with people with some sort of major illness, your problems just don't seem so bad. Take care. XoXo Julie
from theflyingrat :
Please don't feel stupid! There's no way you could have known. I don't expect people who've just met me (or just started reading my drivel, haha) to know my life history! Thanks for reading though. :) Riley sleeps in EVERY position you could think up, haha. He is all over the place when he sleeps. Main reason we moved him to his own bed so soon. Good luck with the nursing. It's different for everyone so I always go with my instincts. Mothers tend to know what's best for their kids, I think. ♥
from hunterpoo :
Babies R us is SOOOO bad for me to go to. I try to stay away because I find it to be too expensive on most things. I love the board books they have for kids now too. I have Hunter in a monthly book club, and tend to get quite a few board books for him through there at great prices. Get him a new one nearly every month, within my budget, and he's got an excellent collection going. It's actually located at http://www.cbomc.com if you just want to explore the idea.
from theflyingrat :
Sounds like you're doing great with Camden. I nursed Riley up until about a month ago. I also nursed him in the night up until he was about 15 months old (he's 20 months now). Everything is different for everyone and you should trust your instincts always! ♥
from thaichic :
Hey girl. How are things? I meant to ask about where you got Cam's playmat. I love it. I hope the family is doing well. I know you just wrote an entry two days ago, but for some reason it feels like forever. Take care-Jen
from hunterpoo :
I live in Central California. I think I do aim to hurt Josh. Mostly because he hurt me so bad, but it just seems karma never come back his way. He has a daughter that will be 5 this year, and really has nothing to do with her either. He was hurt over it, even made me believe if he had a second child he'd be a better father. It's a stupid situation, and I know my way of dealing could be selfish, but I also consider my son's future before even my own feelings.. yaknow? I try not to get pulled into his games, but I like to win.. so the competition is too much. hehe. Thanks for the comment though. You know I forgot about it being the disease talking, I've even heard that before.. but never thought of it as advice to myself. I need to try to think like that next time. Maybe I can calm myself down before I break down. Thank you girl. =)
from hunterpoo :
AWWWWW!!! that's so cute you were able to get the whole sitting up process. SOOOO CUTE. I love his eyes, they're so beautiful.
from frogmom :
Glad you and MIL had a good visit. Thats the same way Madison used to sit up! Cam is sooo cute!
from theflyingrat :
Your son is so adorable. I remember feeling the same way when my son first started sitting up. ♥ I hope you don't mind I added you to my favorites. I found you through kate (hunterpoo).
from aliboomboom :
He is so cute!!
from aliboomboom :
You are right. I just have only really felt anything for three boys my whole life. I have dated a lot and I have liked boys but ultimately things end and I understand that and don't care. I really fell for him. I think he's amazing. I want closure but I don't want to hear what he has to say. I just want him to know what I have to say, what I feel, that way I cna move on. I don't want to look like an idiot though so I doubt I'll ever contact him.
from aliboomboom :
I need to lose more. I need to be obsessed and try harder but I'm not. As for B, I don't know why I feel that way about him. I shouldn't be so fucking obsessed. I tried to write him an email but I started crying. I don't know that I would really want a response anyways. I just want him to know how I feel. I want to tell him so I can close off my feelings for him.
from aliboomboom :
I am glad thatl you had such a nice weekend. Yay!! I put cinnamon on Griffin's oatmeal, he loves it.
from mymemry :
Happy Fathers' Day to Ryan! Hope yall are having a fun and relaxing day. James out fishing for a half a day with his cousin Jeff who has a fishing boat and lives about 25 minutes away. They left at 5:30am. Nathan and I were wide awake - he woke at 4:00 and decided to get up and see his daddy off, I guess. I took him back to the bedroom after James left and we slept together on the bed - its been a long time since we've done that. It was sweet. So glad Cam was such a good boy away from home. Can't wait to hear all about your trip. XoXo Julie
from mymemry :
Hey there Heather! I have been thinking about you lately - we have been so busy with James' parents this past week. I hope things with your MIL are better - don't know if anything has happened - like a talk or maybe she is just still acting as if nothing ever happened. I meant to write you before now - in answering your question about another baby. The VERY soonest would be September of next year and hopefully before February of 2007. We want 2 years between them give or take a couple of months either way. What about yall? Hope yall are having a nice weekend. XoXo Julie
from frogmom :
hes darling
from hunterpoo :
AWWWW!! He's so cute. I love the chubby guys, just like my lil man. He's gorgeous!!
from aliboomboom :
He's so big!! And he has hair!!
from mamabean :
wow! that's neat about the going from lying to sitting. Alex still can't get from sitting to lying (except accidentally... ouch)! Good for him. He'll be up and about in no time! :)
from frogmom :
thank you for the note!
from aliboomboom :
CT is good looking but his attitude kills me. I think the Bad Ass team is terrible, there is no way that they are going to win. No way. As for dating, I am just over it. I don't even want to worry about it. I am always fine without them and then they fall into my lap and ruin me.
from mymemry :
Evening Heather. Cam looks so sweet and peaceful in his little 'corner'. I know how full of pride you feel about your little one. Your friend sounds very nice - I'm glad you have her all to yourself too. I am sorry about the MIL situation. It really hurts my heart that she is someone you kind of have to 'deal' with instead of interact with, love, respect, enjoy. I am truly sorry and hope that things change in that department. It is your decision, but do whatever you have peace with - go with Ryan or let him take care of it - there is no right or wrong answer. Maybe if you wanted to let him go alone, you could write a heartfelt note for him to give to her on your behalf. Just an idea - maybe not too good, but it came to mind. Talk to you later. XoXo Julie
from frogmom :
what a little doll! Hes so cute! mmm the new "love of your life" (lol) looks awesome!
from thaichic :
Hey Heather. When did you start Cam on solids anyway? I'm sure I could just go back a few entries. Tim and I have introduced some banana rice cereal as of this week. Actually last night was the first night, my mom has been giving him a few bites in the morning. I told her I didn't think he was ready, but last night I tried it and he loved it. He loved taking the spoon himself and to bring it to his mouth. God he was so adorable. Tonight I feel so good. It's 1030 pm here. Aidan is just now going to sleep, BUT he went to sleep to me singing to him. AND he's in his crib. I'm going to keep a sleep journal so I can at least give his pediatrician an idea of how he's sleeping. I'm just excited about what happened 20 minutes ago and I really wanted to tell you and Julie. Well girl here's to hopeful sleeping tonight! Night.
from aliboomboom :
How cute. Are the girls twins? They are adorable. My cousin has a baby boy 12 days younger than Griffin and I wish that we lived closer so they could be playmates, unfortunately we don't!!
from mymemry :
The beautiful note you left me made me feel horrible for ever allowing myself to think you would ever knowingly hurt my feelings. Like I said, I was just too sensitive. Thank you for the note. I guess I reacted that way because I am still overly sensitive about letting Nathan cry at all. When I feel the need to go in and comfort Nathan, sometimes James says, "He's fine, give him another minute". Sometimes I do, sometimes I snap back at him, "You're lucky I'm doing what I'm doing as it is!" and go in to reassure Nathan. Also 'cry it out' might mean different things to different people. Nathan does get worked up to tears at times and that is my cue to go in and comfort. Yes, I have been lucky in that I can calm him by talking to him, touching him, distracting him with his puppy or turing the mobile back on, but sometimes the moment I leave he starts getting upset - but it only lasts a few minutes max - if it extends beyond that, I go in again. I'm sorry - it seems I am trying to defend what I am doing once again. I suppose that stems from how deeply I used to feel about never letting him cry. Again Heather, I am sorry I made you feel bad for just expressing your opinion about something that we really agree about for the most part anyway. Your note said it all really. I agree with everything you wrote. Thank you! Julie
from hunterpoo :
Ohhhhh How Adorable!!! Funny what a few months difference makes huh? Oh the outfit it too cute. I had one very similar to that for my lil guy. Brings back memories, even if they are only a few months old memories. =)
from eerlijk :
Awe that is such a cute picture of the three of them! =)
from frogmom :
Oh my gosh all three of them are so cute!!!
from mymemry :
Heather, I feel that kind of sounded cold - that message I wrote a little while ago. Betrayed is a strong word. I am glad I spelled it and judges wrong because it gave me a chance to add a little more to that last note. I did feel that way, but I don't now. Like I said in my entry tonight - we all have different opinions about things at times and that is OK. There are no hard feelings. It is all worked out. It just took me a bit to get that way. I hope yall have a nice night. Julie
from mymemry :
Heather, yes - I have been quiet. I really didn't know what to say. Yes your entry a few nights ago (6/4) hurt. In fact, to be honest -I felt somewhat betrayted by you. It had nothing to do with your sleep goal for Cam. I have said before that you have to do whatever you need to do in order for everyone to be at peace and get sleep. What hurt was reading that you think that Nathan 'took to the process right off', when in fact I started working with him months ago. It was also sad and painful for me to read about your harsh judgements about letting a baby cry and what you think it does to them. I went back and read all my entries in order to gain a clearer picture - thus last night's entry. I also felt the need to defend my position because of the way your entry left me feeling. Tonight's entry was honest without being defensive. Of course everything is fine - just like I wrote. Take care. Julie
from mymemry :
My sentiments as well.....
from frogmom :
hey Heather, Thank you for your note you left! Sounds like Cam is doing awesome!
from aliboomboom :
I am so glad that you like my diary. Your little boy is so cute!! Griffin doesn't sleep in his own bed either. I rock him and put him in there and sometimes he sleeps longer than others but most of the time he's in my bed by midnight. I can't let him cry either. I really can't. So don't feel bad about letting him sleep with you or I'll feel bad about letting Grififn sleep iwth me!
from hunterpoo :
I was surfing through friends diaries, and found you through actually a few of my new reads, like thaichic, mamabean, mymemry.. to name a few. =) I love the way you express yourself in your writing!! And Camden is such an adorable name.. and quite a cutie pie himself!! Just thought I'd leave ya a note. =) kate
from frogmom :
I read somwhere I dont rememeber where that black and white is more stimulating then colors? I dunno how true this is tho? Lovely pics as usual!
from frogmom :
I read somwhere I dont rememeber where that black and white is more stimulating then colors? I dunno how true this is tho? Lovely pics as usual!
from mymemry :
Heather, good morning! Nathan is sleeping at the moment and went down without protesting at all. Hopefully the rest of the day will be like that. He too, had a rough night. We skipped his last nap yesterday afternoon due to his refusal to get to sleep. He fell asleep while nursing before bed, woke 2 hours later, so he nursed at 9pm then again at 11pm. So, I made my mind up to wait till at least 4am to feed him. He woke somewhere around 1am, but only fussed a few moments then got himself back to sleep. He also woke at 2:15am playing, talking etc. He finally started fussing and I waited and waited, but he needed to be comforted. I knew I couldn't do it because he would smell milk. I sent James in. (I was not on the floor in Nathan's room, I was in our bed in our bedroom) James turned him to his side and patted his back for a few minutes. Nathan was fine after that and went back to sleep. I assumed I would hear from him around 4 or so, but he slept till 7:15. I woke up in a bit of a panic and went to check on him and lie on the floor while waiting for him to get up. SO PROUD!! So anyway, hopefully we are over the bump and won't come to another for awhile. So, I would like to know about how yall are with sleep - like your routine and such. Have you changed things? The latest picture of Cam is so great. I think Nathan has a major overbite, like I did before braces and rubberbands, anyway - I never get to see his bottom gums. I love it! Can't wait to see a tooth peeking through. Were you able to get your milk you needed? Have you thought of using 1/2 milk, 1/2 water for his cereal? That may help. Are you trying to build your production? Do you pump after feeding Cam each time? About the sweets - I don't know. That sounds like a good assumption. I don't drink caffine because of how it makes me feel. I do love the occasional coke though. And I do eat chocolate. Milk chocolate. Dark chocolate. YUM. Well, I better scoot and try to get a few things done before mr. man wakes up. I look forward to hearing from you when you have time. XoXo Julie
from frogmom :
hes too cute for words!
from frogmom :
Some people just dont seem to understand you dont wanna use formula! I could not pump at all, I got nothing! Its was frustrating so Maddie did get bottles of formula if I was away from her. I used to get that from my mom a lot too, NO mom I am not starving my kid! Glad you had a good day today!
from frogmom :
awww thank you! I dont think I good all that great tho! LOL We had a pretty good time considering Makayla wasnt feeling well at all. She seems to be doing a lot better tho. Yup, I live in NW Oregon. It is pretty here I guess. Its all I have ever known tho. I moved here as a baby! It rains a lot, so if that doesnt bother you its pretty nice!
from frogmom :
My kiddos do this too! Madison used to be really really bad about cryting ouyt in her sleep! Now they both will whine and there, but not that often.
from mymemry :
Hopefully you and Cam are sound asleep. It is 10:25 - I just finished nursing Nathan and put him back in bed. So far so good. I want to start by saying that we have been very blessed the last couple of days because Nathan has been going to sleep without protesting whatsoever. BUT, I do not expect this to continue. I think that it is great, and I am grateful, but I know in my gut that he is going to 'catch on' too from time to time. He will just decide one day or night that he has gone to sleep one too many times without protesting and it will be just time to protest again. How I will handle it will be based on how upset he becomes. I have learned with Nathan that he can sound quite upset - like he is crying, but when I go in to comfort him there are no tears or red blotchy face to go along with it. Nathan is so fair that when he gets upset and cries, tears and a red blotchy face ALWAYS go along with it. My point is make sure Cam is crying and not just mad fussing. At least with Nathan, fussing and crying are two different things entirely. I was thinking about your situation and I think it is temporary. I would keep doing what you are doing as much as you can. From everything you have told me about what you are doing, I have gathered this: you nurse him till he is full, you put him in his crib and wait till he gets upset, then you pick him back up, comfort him, get him sleepy put him back in his crib and do it again and again till he goes to sleep without protesting and in a good mood. Do set him in his crib and keep your arms around him so he still feels you right there? I did that with Nathan for awhile at 4 months or so. I would pick him up from his crib as soon as he started fussing, jiggle him around to calm him, even nurse him if I had to to get him calm again, then carefully place him in his crib still holding him, then slowly slip my arm out and hold his arms down gently then slip my other arm out and start pat, pat, patting his back, FOREVER etc. Pantly's 'gentle removal' right? Even if you have to do it a hundred times before he gives in. BUT if he is getting upset before you even try to do this, maybe you have to take a step back and nurse him longer till he is flutter sucking then break suction over and over till he lets you go. Then wait and put him down in his crib when he is asleep then work toward putting him down sleepy, etc. These are the steps in the book right? Sometimes you have to go back a step or two and sometimes ditch the plan all together for the night. Just remember your goal. Or maybe your goal has changed. I don't think it has anything to do with food, really. It may, but I just don't think so. I think that his nervous system is still maturing and he is not going to be as consistent with sleep as you would like. Same with Nathan - although he has woken around the same times at night for the past few nights, I know it is just chance if it will happen that way tonight. I don't think you are lacking consistency. He just knows the difference between your nice comfy arms and his bed. Like I said, I did try this approach with Nathan at about 4 months (I was determined to not let him cry) but I did not ever get the results that you have already gotten. The only 'problem' with this approach in my opinion is that he relys on you still for the bulk of 'putting him to sleep'. I am not saying that it's bad, but eventually you would want to get to the phase where you could put him down awake and he is secure and comfortable enough to fall asleep on his own. Like you said - you must do what you think is right and let me say that I do not agree that allowing a baby to 'cry it out' is right. 'Crying it out' to me means that you put a baby in a crib and leave them there to scream their head off till they fall asleep from sheer exhaustion. I do however feel that some 'controlled' crying with frequent comfort visits, and lots of fussing/whining is not the end of the world and in our case has been instrumental in Nathan's sleep. We have come a long, long way. I never thought Nathan would respond to it the way he has, not in a million years. I assumed that he would never accept it. BUT HE IS. You must decide what is acceptable in terms of him getting agitated. You also have to decide how often you are willing to feed him through the night. I thought about what you said and decided that Nathan can eat twice a night. I enjoy it, he feels he needs it still. Perfect. 10pm and anytime after 4am. He is responsible for sleeping in between though. That's his job. I guess what I am trying to say is that you need to place reasonable expectations on Cam and enforce them. Maybe you are expecting too much from him. I don't think so, but if you do, then that's what matters. As far as napping goes -how much sleep total does he get in combined naps? 3hours? more? less? Maybe 3 naps a day is too many to expect him to sleep thru the night. If he wakes at 1am in his crib and plays for awhile, whats wrong with that? Then what? After he plays is he hungry? Does he cry? Do you feed him and he doesn't go back to sleep? Is the problem that he is awake, that he is keeping you awake or that he can't get back to sleep on his own? Remember too, that he was quite used to the way things were before all this started about 2 weeks ago. Right? We started all this around may 13th. I am really sad that you are having a setback. But that is all it is. It will get better and 'This too shall pass'. Just get it straight in your head and heart what you want to happen and work toward that. Look what he is capable of! You have seen it with your own eyes! You have been AMAZED at his sleep stretches over the past 2 weeks. This is a bump in the road. Go back or just walk right over it. I had a bump too, remember? We will have another. I pray that the Lord gives me the strength, wisdom and abiltiy to make good decisions and to go forward and not back. But if I do go back, I know in time we will move forward. Same with you. If you must retreat and take a break from his training because you feel that your little puppy is sick or broken hearted and won't budge no matter how hard to nudge him, then give yourselves a breather and just snuggle with your cute little puppy. I have done that with our last nap of the day two days in a row. I love napping with him. It hasn't affected my putting him in his crib for sleep. I don't want to make it too much of a habit though. Well, I have to go to bed. I hope this did serve as encouragement. Yall are doing great. And you are an Incredible mommy!! XoXo Julie
from mymemry :
Hey Heather. I will write you later tonight, but I wanted to say "HANG IN THERE". It sounds like he has indeed caught on. I have several thoughts. My first thought is that he is a very clever little boy! Will write asap. XoXo Julie
from mymemry :
Good afternoon Heather! About the template - been there, done that. We live, we learn, we get luvs. Just kidding. But really, do you use disposables or do you do cloth? I thought I remember you giving Alice some pointers regarding cloth diapers at some point in time. I have to get use to your new color...I like it and all, but it is so different from what I usually see. Did you feel that way when I changed from purple to green? Green is my favorite color. I found LOTS of cool colors for backgrounds on a website called Webmonkey. Anyway, I like it. Funny though, because when I erased mine a few weeks ago, I had to go looking for that note I sent you on how to add your link to your notes. I had forgotten how. Anyway, a 6:30 bedtime sounds a little scary to me. 7:00 is working for us, but when he does sleep for some GOOD stretches, he thinks it is time to rise and shine pretty early (4:30-6). I may even try to slowly move up his bedtime to 8. I just don't know. Maybe it won't change anything. About late afternoon naps - when are you trying to start it? I wouldn't try to get Nathan to nap ANY later than 4:30 start time and I would wake him at 5:15 (like I would even have to wake that little 45 minute napper), so we had almost 2 hrs before bed. Nathan has been getting up at like 3 -3:30 for his last nap of the day too. He really starts to get cranky about 5:30-5:45. That is a perfect time to get daddy to take his exersaucer out in the back yard and we 3 go outside and hang out with 'Blossom' our Brittany until bath time at 6:30. He usually does real well outside. Plus it gives the 3 of us something to do together everyday. Their little schedules change all the time don't they. We think we can predict what they will do then BAM, they go and do something else. At least Cam's bed time and wake time is predictable like you said. As far as the spots/rash - that does indeed sound like a little allergy - around the mouth (contact dermatitis) is a big clue. What did you feed him last? Avacodo? Did you feed him something else new around the same time or did you wait a few days after trying the last new thing before you tried the avacodo? If you waited, you should feel certain it is indeed the avacodo. If you didn't wait, your guess is as good as mine. Whatever it was, doesn't sound like too bad of a reaction. I have noticed that Nathan's got a few spots of diaper rash since starting cereal and peas. That's it so far. I have fed him peas for the past 3 days and plan to wait 3 more before moving to the next veggie. I am just giving him more 'air time' for his butt and using more A&D ointment than usual. He has just about cleared up. I think their butts have to just have to get use to the nuclear poop! Where else was the rash? Tummy? It could very well be the new laundry detergent but I don't see it being on his face....I am sure you are already doing this, but make sure you wait at least 3-4 days between new foods. About my milk supply - I guess it has gone down some. I haven't been pumping at night and I am very full when he wakes up. I want to pump though so I can have some in the freezer. I have to go, but will write more later. XoXo Julie
from bubbles11090 :
Awww...I am so sorry that things aren't working out quite the way you want them to with your husband. Have you tried just sitting down with him and talking to him about everything that has been bothering you?? It's his responsibilty to help out with Cam too... Good luck and by the way, great job with the whole sleeping issues. That's wonderful!!
from mymemry :
Hey Heather, for a change I thought I'd write in your guestbook, but it has vanished. My guess is that you were messing with your template and lost your previous settings. I need to go get Nafin and feed him some peas please! Talk to you later. Hope your day is going well. Hugs to Camham. XoXo Julie
from thaichic :
Hey chica, sounds like everything is still going great for you. Aidan is a month younger than Cam and he's already 18 pounds. Well 7.5 but pretty much 18. He sure does feel about 30! Anyway, I know how you feel about being sexual. Tim and I were "steamy" in the beginning then when I got preggers, nada, zip, zilch. I couldn't stand to be touched. It actually wasn't till like a week before Aidan was born that we slept together again, but that was because I wanted Aidan out and I heard/read that that would help bring on labor. Yeah. Right. After Aidan's birth, it was worse. My six week checkup came and went and Tim was ready. I didn't want to have anything to do with anything sexual. I just didn't think about it, and I definitely didn't want it. Haha. Just recently I finally "gave in" and Tim really showed me what I was missing. No nothing like what you may be thinking. I'm not wanting to be perverted here! He showed me how beautiful it is when two people are just so in love still. He was so gentle and it has been amazing everytime after that. I'm glad we've moved on from where we were in the beginning of our relationship to what we have now because it's much more meaningful. All of this just sounded dumb didn't it? :)
from mymemry :
Evening Heather. I was just on the internet looking for large plastic bibs. Nathan woke at 10:00. I nursed him on the floor and put him back to bed. He turned on his back in protest, but I just rolled him to his side and patted his back for a few seconds and to my amazement he is back out. They really are growing up. IT IS SAD! AND SCARY! You wrote, "Could you have done that before and he would have slept? I know with Cam it wasn't even possible, no matter how asleep he was, he would wake up 10 minutes later." This is so true. I used to spend SO much time getting him to the point I could leave his side and slip away. It used to take like over an hour each night! They needed us so much more back then....About the food, if I want to cook a specific veggie, how long do I cook it? Must I boil the vitamins all out? Or just steam till soft? Do I add anything? What about non-organic? I fed him gerber peas today. He ate a few bites. I didn't feel bad about giving him gerber peas, but maybe real peas would have tasted better. Is avacodo a fruit or veggie? LOL. I don't eat them. Breastfeeding being "very supplemental to real food" sounds so horrible and so sad! I just don't know about all this. I too, hope our nursing relationship continues for QUITE some time, especially at bed time. "Unload" on one side. I LOVE IT! I don't mind getting up to feed Nathan. We'll see how it goes. Maybe the night weaning will just happen on its own - it kind of already has. I have more to say, but James is waiting for me. Good night. XoXo Julie
from mymemry :
I had to read to see where I left off. Yes about the nostril cleaning - he despises it and gets very worked up. That kind of cry is a mad cry. I know it from cleaning out his nose. I have heard him get that way in his crib (but very few times). I ALWAYS go to him the second I hear it and stay till he calms, not just to appear only to dissapear a few seconds later. Once he hits that mad cry, he needs help calming down. It would be frustrating if they wanted to get up and play during the night. At sometime we would have to break that too. I SOOOO agree with this statement, "The earlier in the morning that he wakes the harder is is to get him back to bed..." Nathan slept from 11pm - 4:20am last night, but after he nursed and I put him in his crib, he talked and watched his mobile for awhile and was pretty awake. I was right on the floor in his room. I let him fuss/whine and even let him cry a bit before getting up to show my face, touch him and try to turn him so I could pat his back. Well, he wanted nothing of it, so I went back to my pallet on the floor. He cried some more and was asleep by 5:15 or so. (I put him down at 4:45 and he was quiet for at least 15 minutes, so he fussed/whined the majority of the time and probably cried off and on for at least 5-7 minutes. The key for me is the off and on. Once I feel he is getting worked up, I wait about a minute or so, usually, he quiets on his own for a few minutes then works back up again for a minute or two). Anyway, he slept till 8:15. I was VERY impressed. It is 10:11 now and he is getting to the point of needing a little nappy. Poop at night! AARRRGGGG! I hate it too - especially because it needs to be changed. I am lucky because Nathan usually only wets at night. His diapers weigh a TON in the morning, but he remains rash free if it is just urine. He has such sensitive skin. Does Camden? With as fair as he is? As far as Nathan sleeping with me - I know in my head that I shouldn't induldge in this AT ALL right now while I trying to teach him to fall asleep alone. BUT, maybe it would be possible to nap with him sometimes on special occasions, or at night to take him with me to the spare room when he starts teething or if he gets sick etc. I have to share this with you because it just happened !!!!! from an entry I will post tonight : 10:22am Ė I just put Nathan down. He nursed ok, had some cereal before that, and nursed before the cereal. I just canít put him in his crib without nursing him a little. I am not sure thatís a good routine though. What if I need James to put him down? I need to think about his naptime routine. I want him to have a specific routine Ė so he starts to know itís about to be naptime, but Iím just not sure what is best for us yet. I will do some research on it. Well, he fussed for about 20 seconds when I left the room. All is quiet at the moment. I assume he is watching his mobile. BUT HEíS NOT. HE IS ASLEEP. 10:27. I canít believe it! He whined for like 20 seconds and that was it! Oh my! OH MY!! Heís the man!! Ok, back to your note and my responses to it. I still am unable to get Nathan to take a longer nap. If we were sleeping side by side, I would have a better chance, but with him alone in his crib - no way. I will NOT, (not never, just hopefully never) make him cry himself back to sleep after waking from a quickie nap. I think that would be cruel to do to him. It seems that the 45 minute naps are working ok for him since he is getting better sleep at night. You write, "I respect any decision any family needs to make in regards to what works for them. I hope you know that." Of course I do Heather. It is evident in the way you word things. You too,"... definitely have your own thoughts on things and I think that is fabulous!" I don't ever feel that you are judging me for making the decisions I feel I must make. I want and expect you to add your 'two cents'. It allows me to see different perspectives and add them into the mix! I think you are wonderful and I think how you are raising Camden is wonderful. You are a loving, attentive, loyal mama dog to your sweet little puppy. I have a snuggle puppy too, you know. You said a whole lot here in these next few sentences, "Don't you dread the cries that come when they know how they affect us? The whining cries, the temper tantrum cries? I am such a softy. I hope I can ignore these type of manipulative cries when they start to happen. I haven't even really thought about discipline. I suppose this type of sleep training can be viewed as discipline, but not punishment." I too hope I will be able to act accordingly with manipulation attempts in the future. It is coming. Soon. Maybe now. I believe Nathan thinks he needs to be picked up every time he gets bored. I think he needs different stimulation. Sometimes it works and he reluctantly give in and focuses on the next 'activity' I give him, sometimes he fusses and whines to the point I just want him quit - so I pick him up and haul him around for awhile. He knows how to press my buttons that for sure. I am glad he hasn't been pressing them too hard in the area of sleep. We would never have gotten this far if he fought it like he could have. That is a blessing from the Lord. Dicipline - wow. That is so HUGE. My sister Karen (whom I adore and love with all my heart) has two boys 4 and 3 (whom I feel the same about). BUT, there is a major lack of dicipline in their lives. From my perspective Shawn, their father, expects Karen to keep them in line. The parents are not on the same page when it comes to dicipline. That is so necessary. The boys know Shawn will give in to them but Karen won't. But they act up with Karen because they think she MAY give in like daddy does. They run through the house, scream, act out when they don't get their way. Karen and Shawn don't understand why. I do. The boys do not understand about having consequences for their actions. My husband is stronger than me when it comes to this, but I believe I will become strong enough because I have the strong desire for well-manored children who understand their parents are in charge. I know James will see to it that our children are always provided for. He will also keep me in check when it comes to dicipline because he knows that children thrive when they are given clear boundaries. Their will be consequences to actions both good and bad. Have you discussed dicipline with Ryan? James and I have more to discuss, but because we are older having children (me 30, James 38), we have benefitted from learning from friends with children. Yes, Nathan has really done well. He used to wake 8-12 times a night, not 4-5. I have a sleep journal that I did April 15th. He woke 12 times that night and 10 the next. We had slowly gotten down to 4-5 wakings in the past month, but in the past week and a few days he has exceeded my greatest expectations. Clever boy! I do hear him move around a bit and then I just hold my breath. He doesn't whine/ fuss unless he actually wakes and expects me to rescue him. I just can't bring myself to ignore him even if it is not time to eat. I will go in a pat him if I need to and acknowledge his waking and let him fuss/ whine if needed after that. I can't let him think I am ignoring him for 10 minutes after first waking from slumber. I feel he deserves to at least see me and feel my touch, knowing that I know he is communicating with me that he is now awake. I do think that 6 months is a 'key' time, but I also know that coupled with that was my expectation that it was time for him to do it (or at least try - but in our case, he's doing it!) About James putting him down - No. This is an issue - or will be one if I don't let James try. James has offered several times, but I just can't seem to give this over to him yet. I could nurse Nathan a little then pass him to James so James could cuddle with him for a minute and sing a little song before putting him in his crib and saying "night, night Nathan". We need to try that soon! Thanks for bringing that up. I think it is important for others to be able to get them to sleep. If someone were to watch Nathan at naptime I would worry and wonder about how it would go. :-( I pray I don't have to do that anytime soon. So, I guess those are my thoughts. It is 11:32. Nafin is still asleep...(my nephew Joey, age 3, calls him Nafin - cute huh?) Well, write back when you can. How is feeding going with Cam? I am feeding Nathan rice cereal once or twice a day after offering the breast to him. He is doing well, I think. I think I will try peas on Wednesday. I think lots of people start fruit first sometimes, but I learned in school that veggies should come before fruit. I'm sure it's not that big of a deal, but my thinking is that Nathan doesn't know that there is yummy fruit right around the corner as he eats his bland peas and carrots! What do you think? Also, I was thinking of making his baby food. I wonder how to do it - do you know? Would I steam veggies, or boil them till all the vitamins are GONE? Store them in ice cube trays? Tell me your thoughts. Also, Megan was talking about big soft plastic bibs with pockets. Do you know where to get those? Have a great day! XoXo Julie
from mymemry :
Good evening Heather! Nathan is fast asleep, I just put him down a few minutes ago. I love watching him fill his tummy with my warm milk and drifting closer and closer to a peaceful sleep. He was just about asleep tonight when I put him in his crib. My sweet, tired boy. You wrote, "I do notice he calms down quicker when I leave the room between intervals of comfort. Have you noticed this also with Nathan?" Usually now, when he is pretty fussy or actually crying tears and I go in to comfort him, he just gets more upset during that time and right as I leave, but about 30 seconds later, he calms right down. Like Cam, Nathan seems to know about bedtime too. He is getting much better with nap time, but we still have a ways to go. I know Nathan's cries pretty well. When I clean out boogers from his nose and don't give him time to recover he wails big time! Tears, red face etc. I have more to say, but James needs me. Will finish later. XoXo Julie
from mymemry :
So happy to hear from you the other day Heather! Sorry its taken me so long to reply. Yes, I was talking about the lettering for e-mail and url adresses. The only reason I even brought it up was because I didn't read the first guestbook entry, initally. I thought I was the second person to leave you a message, but I just couldn't make out the person's email or url, until I read the message, then I knew it was you. I just didn't know if you noticed it or not. Anyway, about the crying it out: I can honestly say that if you told me a month ago that I would be doing what I am doing now, I would have told you how dead wrong you were and that it would NEVER happen. Did anyone ever tell you to NEVER say NEVER - for me in my life, this is so true. I hate that. I still 'feel' that way, but my gut instinct says that Nathan does indeed need some 'time' to get settled. I came to this conclusion when he started refusing to be nursed to sleep. He has never allowed me to rock him when he is tired or any other time for that matter! (oh how I would love to rock a baby to sleep - you are lucky to get to experience that sweet feeling). He does allow me to walk around with him when he is tired- until he realizes how tired he is then starts struggling and fighting sleep. So, he was fighting sleep period. Could I have gotten in the van and got him to sleep easily, without a fight? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I just know that I got to a certain point that made me realize that I was not in control of the situation, he was, but I needed to be. He fought sleep, I did anything I could to help him in the process. I knew he was old enough to sleep longer stretches. I knew that at 6 months, developmentally, he would have the capacity to learn self- soothing skills better than at 3 or 4 months old. I also felt that I was doing FOR him what he needed to learn to do on his own at some point in time. The method in which I choose is the last one I thought I would, BUT it is working for us. Plain and Simple. Yes, I had a day and night of setbacks. I probably will again, but I know that now and will be ready for it. I may tweek the way I handle things here and there when necessary. If he were to start teeting and couldn't sleep, I would hold him and comfort him all night if he needed it. If he is hungry and needs to nurse 5 times in a night, then that is what we'll do. I am never more than a room away when he is going to sleep on his own. I keep track of the exact time I put him down, when I go in to comfort, how he responded, when it is quiet, and when he is asleep. I am letting him fend for himself in there. Is it sad sometimes? Yes. But I am coming to him when he really needs it. He fusses/whines the bulk of the time he is not happy. I havenít been in to Ďcomfortí much lately. I walk to the door and watch him some, but donít actually intervene unless it is necessary. I am so proud of him. He is a little trooper. You wrote, ďI agree a small amount of time may not hurt them in a visible way, but along with teaching them to fall alseep (perhaps from exhaustion) it does also teach them that we aren't going to respond to their cries (even if it is only at certain times).Ē I agree with your statement, but I believe that it applies to newborns, not 6 month old babies who are at a different developmental stage. I believe it is important to answer every cry of a new baby 24/7 because they have no knowledge of anything. But, Nathan is a big boy now. He has learned over the past 6 months that his voice will always work to get what he wants. It is sad, but he needs to learn that he doesnít always get what he wants, when he wants it. Sometimes he will, sometimes he will have to wait, and sometimes he will never get it. I believe that although he is still a baby, I am going to start treating him as a child. I canít have an expectation that a child will do something unless I give them a chance to perform. I donít play with Nathanís toys for him, I let him explore them and do what he wants to with them. I step in when he gets too upset and frustrated, but I let him try to work it out on his own too. Same with sleep. I have the expectation that he can do it, but I must let him try. I step in when he really needs me. He doesnít ďcry it outĒ with tears and a red face. He fusses it out. He doesnít fall asleep out of exhaustion from crying, he falls asleep because he is tired and needing to sleep at the moment. I do not believe that I am hurting him in a physical way, or an invisible way. He is sleeping better because of this, he is happier when he is awake. He is more talkative during wake times. He is more active and full of energy. He is more mature. Nap times arenít always as easy, but I can just put him down in his bed at night to go to sleep after nursing. AMAZING. It used to take like 30-45 minutes for this at bedtime (when I would nurse him till he was almost asleep, put him in his crib, pick him up / comfort/ put back down/ pat, pick him up/ comfort/ put back down and pat). We did do this for awhile, but he was just about asleep while this was going on. He does everything himself now. As far as how doctors believe they know that it doesnít hurt them psychologically to cry for long periods of time (at night for sleep purposes, not during the day out of neglect), that is the way the majority of people have done it for centuries. They themselves probably were left to cry/ fuss themselves to sleep at night. Your last question Ė Do I let him cry when he wakes at night? Well he hasnít been waking at night. I did let him cry some on Wednesday early morning (I think), but ended up realizing he was hungry and nursed him. But I put him in his crib and he went back to sleep easily. I feed him once during the night now after his bedtime feeding at 7. Usually sometime between 10:30 and 2:30. If he were to wake, I would see if he needs to be changed, repositioned etc. I will be able to tell if he is TRULY hungry. If all the above is done, I may have to let him fuss awhile, but I will be there every 10 minutes to determine if he is needing help. I have to go, my hubby needs me. Take care. Talk to you later. XoXo Julie
from frogmom :
when I started reading this entry I was thinking man I cant wait for nice weather here, its been poring rain and in like the high 50s! I cannot wait to get the girls a swimming pool! Then I see your from florida I think man I would love to live there, then I remeber about the hurricanes! I cannot even imagine what thats like! I live in Oregfon not all that far from the beach, so we have had pretty bad wind storms, but I think the highest ever was like 100 mph and that scred the crap out of me! I was pretty young and it was just slat out scarey! Were you close to where all the masive damage was in florida?
from mymemry :
Heather - I wanted to tell you that you may want to change the text color of the e-mail and url blanks in your guestbook because you can't see the white on the yellow. You may have seen this already and want it that way, I just thought I'd point it out. Well, I miss our back and forth note writing. I hope you and your little man are doing well. It seemed that Nathan and I were at a very critical point the other night - at critical points, I have found that you either regress or progress. I am THRILLED to report that we have progressed. I am keeping sleep logs for each and every sleep period. (I started this on the 13th, but started over yesterday since I am revising my method). I am keeping them in Word and will be adding them to my entries until I don't find them useful anymore. Thanks for your encouragement. Talk to you later. I will just write in both places if you don't mind. XoXo Julie
from rdhdprincess :
Aw, he is just beautiful! So is his room. That was such a sweet letter. I am going to go read more! C
from mymemry :
Heather - thankyou for sharing your letters to Camden. His room looks like a wonderful place to be. Hope all is going well with yalls training. Julie
from mamabean :
Aw. That one made me cry! His room is so nice and cozy, and the quilt will be a great heirloom for him as he does make a home and have his own little ones! I feel so proud of you both, and so happy to have met you! :)
from frogmom :
I am soo soo glad that everything is working out for the best for the both of you! Thats just wonderful! I sure wish I had tried that when Makayla was 5 months old tho! LOL She was a horrible sleepr, woke a few times a night til she was over 2!
from mamabean :
Morning Coach! Thanks for the encouragement about homeschooling. In answer to your question, I do not expect to have another baby... Al has two children from a previous marriage (a girl, Charlee, who is 9, and a boy, AJ who is 7), so that makes three total for us. The two older kids live with their mom in Ohio, but visit us on holidays and in the summer (they will be here for the month of July this year). Plus, who's kiddin' who? I'm nearly 38 and Al is 41, so we'll already be close to 60 when Alex goes to college... and I'd like for the two of us to have a nice, long, healthy retirement to enjoy one another and this big world. i'm soooooooo proud of you and Cam and your sleep training! You are giving him such a great start with the bedtime routine. Just think, this is a foundation that starts as discipline and establishes your place as the Mama Dog, but also will, later in life, translate into a love for his own bed and positive feelings about bedtime! Go, YOU!
from thaichic :
Hey Heather, you have been ever so kind to me and so supportive, I really hope you didn't take any offense to anything in my entry. I wasn't trying to say it's easier on you and Julie or anyone else, I was just saying that I didn't feel I had the time to try your ideas or the Baby Whisperer. BUT I am going to. Aidan slept in his crib one again last night for a couple of hours until he woke because he was hungry. I know this because he didn't eat much before bed. I'm going to try the pick up, put down scenario for a while. Is that all you do? Right now we're putting him down while he's still awake but about to dose off and we turn down the lights, play some soft music and just pat his back while talking softly to him. It seems to be working. Anyway I just wanted to say thanks .
from frogmom :
Adorable pics of Cam!! Glad your guys sleep is getting better!
from mymemry :
Great pictures! How much does he weigh anyway? He is growing so fast. Nathan will be 6 months old tomorrow. We have our 6 mo check up on Friday. I think I will wait till then to feed him cereal. You asked if I am kind of sad - yes, I was till today. Nathan had a very, very hard day with naps. We are both pooped out. He was especially angry about being put in his crib. I was sad. Still am, but that just goes to show that there will be some setbacks...just have to pick back up and try again. I am so thrilled for yall. Only woke twice last night. Amazing. I spent the night cleaning for my parents arrival. Will be on the computer less while they are here, I think, but will still check in from time to time. I hope your night tonight is as great as last night. Goodnight. Julie
from mymemry :
Hey Heather. Just wanted to quickly say how great you are doing. I am so proud of you and impressed with Cam. Hang in there. Nathan and I took the day/night off yesterday due to our trip to Destin. Today we start back, he did not need any assistance in getting to sleep for his first nap today. I have to go prepare for my parents arrival tomorrow. I will write more later. Julie
from mamabean :
Yes, I agree with frogmom... when Cam is sleeping, take at least part of that time to nap, or read, or drink tea, or whatever YOU'd like to do, just for Heather. You deserve it and he will benefit from a nice, refreshed, happy Mommy. Regarding waking in the night to eat, you may be surprised at how infrequently it'll happen once you've got him used to his crib and good at settling himself... he'll wake, but you may never hear him. Alex got up to feed only once and only sporadically for the first few months. I knew I had to go get her because instead of just a little fussing, she'd be outright crying, and I could tell by her tone she wasn't going to stop without a little comforting. I'd go in and tell her it was still night time and not time to get up and pat her, rearrange her covers, and give her Katie Kitty... but most of the time (again, on the rare occasions this happened), I got her up and fed her, in very dim lighting, without saying much, breathing slowly and peacefully, touching her gently, and she'd go back to sleep at the breast or bottle, and I'd put her into her crib, which always woke her, but then she'd settle right down and go off to sleep again. Again, once you have Cam used to and happy in his crib, and able to go to sleep on his own, you'll probably find that he's easy to feed and put back to bed, whenever you want to, or he wants to. Congratulations, again.. I hope last night went well for all three of you!
from frogmom :
thats really cool about Cam sleeping with you. Makayla did with us for like 3 months Madison never did she was a super good sleper from day one, so I figured why screw up a good thing!
from frogmom :
sounds like you are soing great! Its a big change tho, has Cam slept with you since he was born? I would definately say take a nap while he is! Or take a nice long hot bath, have some "you" time! Before you know it the naps will be gone, or so I have beent old. I guess I have lucked out, Makayla is almost 4 and still naps for the most part an hr or two each day. But only at home. She has ever only slept at home tho. I wish i would have been able to pump, I just couldnt do it? Nothing came out? LOL I wish the girls would have nursed longer. Makayla 5 months, I gave up. She never learned to latch on well. Madison 6 months and I have no idea why but it just stopped, dried up I guess?
from thaichic :
What are you doing Heather for his sleep? I'll try it. And I'm not sure what you meant by the note-post comment?
from mamabean :
haaaa! no, the daddy dog leaves and goes and makes more puppies with some other mommy dog!!!okay i am keeping an eye on you all day today because i'm so excited for you! Go Cam! Sleepy sleep sleep!
from mamabean :
Yaaaaaaay YOU! Don't worry, you will figure out how to sleep again... and also, think of this: only three good nights in a row will create a new sleep pattern for a baby. You and Cam could be having full, uninterrupted nights of sleep by the weekend! Keep up the great work, both of you! oh yes, and aren't sweet potatoes fun? try creamed corn (i think gerber calls it corn casserole)... they LOVE it!
from mymemry :
Hey there again. Again, Way to go. I bet that time seemed to go by slowly. The more I think about it, I do think Cam has a suck/sleep association. You Could use that to your advantage, but it would be easier in the long run if you didn't. If Nathan wouldn't have started fighting my old way of nursing him to sleep for naps then we would still be doing that. It is easy and reliable, or at least it was. I didn't know what to do when he started refusing to be nursed to sleep. Anyway, I am glad he did because we wouldn't be on the road we are on. Let me just tell you that while I have been typing this my little star went to sleep after being nursed in the rocking chair (very different), burped, put in his crib, picked back up to try to burp more. He was awake and fussy when I left the room and I don't hear a peep out of him now. I feel very blessed right now. Remember I said I was going to make him wait 3 and a half hours between feedings tonight? Well I caved in 15 minutes early because I think he really was hungry. NOW that I KNOW he has a full belly, I will not feed him before 1:45. Ok, so the rest of the day? I don't remember if I told you about the first nap of the day? I put him down at 9:06, didn't have to go in till 9:18 then he was asleep by 9:24. (I am keeping a sleep journal on WORD - thats why I have exact times. It makes me feel better to write what is happening in there with him) I went into his room 40 minutes into his nap and stood by his crib, fully expecting him to wake up. And he did. He opened his eyes, I put my hand on his back and once he saw me, he closed his eyes again. He slept for an hour after that. So he slept for 1hr 40 minutes. I was SOOO proud...Then we met James for lunch. He was in such a good mood. I was SOOOO proud. So when we got home I nursed him and tried to put him down, but 30 minutes later and after going in a zillion times during that time, I decided he was not ready for sleep yet. Sure, I could have waited it out, but when I finally got him calmed down that last time, he looked up at me and kind of laughed. He wanted to play! So, I got him up and he stayed up about 45 minutes till he started getting fussy. The second (and last) nap of the day started with me putting him down at 2:29. He was NOT HAPPY AT ALL. Some of the worse crying yet. I went in a few times, but he was pissed. I knew he was thinking I may cave in, but I knew he was tired. He didn't last long, he was asleep by 2:42. I went in 40 minutes into his nap but he slept through till 4:23. What a big boy! So then we went to Toys r us with James to get an infant boat thing to push Nathan around in the water. We are going to Destin tomorrow to visit some relatives that are staying in a condo there. We are going to put him in the pool in that boat thing. I can't wait! Anyway, we got home at 6:40. Bath, nursed and in bed by 7:16. He fussed, but did not ever get to the point that I needed to go in. I did hear him start to get mad, but before I made it into his room (and I am only in the next room over), he quieted down. He was asleep by 7:32. I WAS THRILLED. James later told me he went in once to take his puppy off his face (I told James to check to see if Nathan's puppy blankie - very small was on his face) James took it off and Nathan saw him, but James said he didn't comfort him at all. Nathan started stirring a little after 9. I was in the shower but James went in to pat his back. James never let him get to the point of waking up, but Nathan would have woken up if James hadn't gone in. James had to go in like 7 times while I was in the shower (I had to shave for the beach/pool tomorrow). So then I went to check the computer and read your entry then he woke while I was typing you a note. So here I am. Did you see I worked on my template this afternoon? Well, it will be tomorrow night before I can get on again. I hope your night goes well. So, what is your plan? Are you going to take small steps toward your goal or what? My small step (which is quite large for me) is to put Nathan back in his crib. Tonight I have done what I did not do last night and tomorrow night I will put him back in his crib after 2 feedings, the next night 3 feedings till he is in his bed all night. :-( Goodnight or goodmorning whenever you read this.
from frogmom :
yeah thats great! Way to go Cam and Mom!
from mymemry :
YEAH for Cam! Will write more soon. Nathan is waking. GREAT JOB Heather!!
from frogmom :
Thank you for your kind note Heather! I am starting to feel better already! I knew it was my gallbladder before I even went in.
from mamabean :
congratulations. i can't wait to hear how the rest of the night goes. it's tough... hang in there! hugs to cam the big-boy! :)
from mymemry :
Heather, your first question "...when you put him down for his naps you do it when he is sleepy, but not alsleep, after nursing?" I guess the answer is yes but let me explain. We do not yet have 'set' naptimes because I am waiting till he starts to stay fussy. We play this and that, put him in his exersaucer, in a swing thing, play with him on the floor, etc and when it seems that he is getting all done, I pick him up, sing a little to him, nurse him, burp him, maybe change him and then tell him I love him, say my key words and put him in his crib and turn on the mobile. He doesn't look sleepy or act sleepy at the time I am putting him in his crib, but I know his mood was deteriorating before I started this process. Your next question "Then you let him cry a bit and he has fallen asleep by himself each time, with minimal reassurance?" Answer: Yes. I do not pick him up. I go in there when my 'mommy sensor' goes off - he's pretty worked up with no end in sight. I go in and talk him down, touch him, give him back his lovey and try to turn him to his side (sleeping position) and pat his back. Sometimes he allows this and quiets immediately, other times he fights me turning him and never completely quiets. After he calms (about 1-2 minutes max usually only about 45 secs), I say my key words (when he is calm), and leave. Most of the time when I leave he cries harder then before I first went in, but only for a minute or two, then he calms again and maybe gets worked up enough for me to go back in again and maybe he quiets enough to fall asleep. This process usually takes between 15 and 30 minutes and I might go in 2-6 times or more if he needs it. I know James has fed Nathan pumped milk for his bedtime feeding before and he fell asleep during the bottle. Even if Nathan falls asleep nursing, I wake him up by burping him and even stimulating him a little because he needs to realize he is in his own sleeping place when he falls asleep. Yes, that means crying for awhile, but hopefully we are working toward the goal of him falling asleep in his crib without crying. Did I already tell you he slept from 7:50-about midnight last night? In his crib, without waking and needing reassurance after initially falling asleep? I am so proud. So what is your long term sleeping goal with Cam? Do you want to co-sleep with him or do you want him in his own room? What if he was up from 1-3 playing in his own crib? That would be fine right? I mean sure, it would be better if he was sleeping in the middle of the night, but if he was going to be awake, at lease you could turn the monitor down enough to hear if he starts crying right? Like the article says, they ARE going to wake up multiple times at night. Sometimes they will be able to put themselves back to sleep, sometimes we will have to help them get back to sleep and sometimes they will just be awake and LOUD for awhile till they get tired again. It would be fantastic if they could learn to put themselves back to sleep after that awake time. By the way, even if you did hire a nanny, you would not be able to stay away during this process. I just know it. I didn't even want to go outside to mow the lawn the other day and let James take over. I want to be there to assist him in this process anytime I feel he needs assistance. Well, Nathan is fussy. Time to see if he is just bored or needing to take a nap and start again. Talk to you later. Julie
from mymemry :
Hey Heather. I got your note and went to the link. I agree with all of it. If I had 'my way' Nathan would be sleeping with us still, but my husband is 100% against it. I know I wouldn't want Nathan in bed with us too much longer though even if James didn't care because James and I need restful sleep and Nathan wakes too frequently. I feel that the 'timing' of this change is good because Nathan will be starting the seperation anxiety stage very soon. My goal is to get him in his crib for every sleep period - even if only for 2 hrs here and 2 hrs there (it is hard at night because I like sleeping with him and he is SO comfy (selfish I know). During the day it is easy - put him down and go in to comfort him each time his cry gets 'serious' enough to make me think he NEEDS reassurance. At night, that is a different story. I am the one that is going to be losing sleep - well James too. At night when he cries it will be just like the day - one of us will be in charge of that 'cry episode'. I know he needs reassurance. Sometimes I think he waits for me to come in and pat his back and comfort him before he will fall asleep. I don't mind nursing him once at night, but I am going to talk to the doctor about that. Well yesterday's first two naps were so short, but at least he was in his crib. His third nap started like the first two, but I picked him up right as he fell asleep and put him on the mattress with me. We slept solid for 2 hrs. We both needed that. Last night though was amazing - first time ever he slept a little over 4 hours!!! I put him down at 7:30 and he was asleep by 7:50. I went in about 3 times and James went in once to comfort him during that 20 minute period, BUT he slept through several periods of awakening during that time. I was so proud of him!! I should have been sleeping, but James and I watched a scary movie 'Dawn of the Dead'. Why? Don't know. But anyway, after he woke I put him in bed with me for the rest of the night. Tonight my goal is to put him back in his crib after the first nursing after he wakes from going to sleep. And I will not feed him more than every 3.5 hours at night starting tonight. I may have to come read this note to remember my goals. Hope yall are having a great weekend. Julie
from mymemry :
You poor thing. Hopefully yall are asleep at the moment - its 8:00. Monster poos in the wee hours of the morning suck big time! Well after I got off the computer last night and went to bed a few minutes after I had fallen asleep little Mr. woke up. So I nursed him and he felt so soft beside me, smelled so clean, seemed so happy to be falling asleep by my side after nursing that I snatched him up and threw him in his crib. NOT. I kept that boy right where he was. I just decided to give him a break. He woke at a 1:00. I nursed him back to sleep beside me but decided not to nurse him till 4 no matter what. Well, he woke at 3 and decided it was time to be awake for awhile. I kind of drifted on and off, he talked, blew bubbles etc. I should have done it sooner, but finally I realized that if he was going to play he should play in his bed with his new BANANA CRIB TOY. So at 3:25 I put him in his crib. Well he played for a few minutes max and then started getting upset. I let him get pretty fussy before I got up to comfort him. I talked to him from the mattress on the floor a few times but only got up two times I think. Anyway, he cried quite a bit and I kept looking at the clock. He fell asleep at 4 exactly, so he did not nurse at 4. So, I just assumed he would wake 45 minutes later and I would nurse him. WELL HE SLEPT FROM 4 till 7:15 in his own crib!!! I didn't sleep all that time though. But he did. My boobs haven't been that full since my milk came in! About your question - I do think that they can get a sleep association to sucking, or anything that is done every time they drift off to sleep. I don't think that ghVBG Nathan has it though. BY the way, the ghvbg was typed by Nathan! Talk to you later. Julie
from mymemry :
Hey Heather. Letting him cry AGAIN to extend sleep after waking from a nap that he cried himself to sleep to begin with is more than I can handle right now. But your probably right about that.... I think we will need to pump or we will become engorged and eventually our milk production will decrease. I don't mind not having my period at all! I may pump for life. I was a 34A BEFORE my milk came in :-) Well, the night time sleep cry thing went horrible and I ended up patting his back to sleep. But he has been asleep since 8:15 and its 10:13. I nursed him at about 7:20 or so in the rocking chair and he didn't know what to think about that. He kept looking at the mattress on the floor! Anyway, he nursed terribly, was fidigity and squirmy. I cuddled with him in the chair for a little while and put him in his crib like nap times today. He started wailing before I was even out the door. I had to go in several times to calm him and even picked him up once. I felt so bad for him and wanted to just give him the night off since I made him cry 3x today already, but I put him back and he started screaming even louder. It was pitiful. So I ended up going in and just patting his back till he was out. This sucks. I don't think I am going to make him cry anymore tonight and maybe not "nights" yet till I talk to the doctor. Maybe we will just start with naps and hope that its enough for now. I am too tired to post any entries in my diary tonight. James has Navy drill this weekend. Today was good. I feel like I got some stuff done around the house and was more in tune with Nathan's behavior. I am sorry you are going through this too, but I am glad we have each other. You have been very supportive and encouraging. Thank you. Talk to you soon. Julie
from mymemry :
Heather, I agree with you that, "Some babies have such an easy time falling asleep and adapting when you let them cry, but others really just do not I think." I kind of feel that Nathan is one of them, but I won't know till I try. I actually started today but with major modification. I really don't even know what 'cry it out' means altogether - there are several "ways". Anyway, after I sang to him a few familiar songs, I nursed him sitting in a rocking chair (very different from our usual side lying), and cuddled and kissed and held him for a few more minutes in the chair, I kissed him again, said "time to go to sleep" put him in his crib with a NEW COOL CRIB TOY (he will only see this toy when it is time to go to sleep), and his little puppy blanket (his designated lovey from Pantley's book). I turned on the mobile, smiled big, rubbed his forehead for a sec and said "Time to go night night, close your eyes and go to sleep love" (my key words from Pantley's book), and left the room. This morning we started at 10:07 and he was asleep a little before 10:35, but I DID NOT allow him to cry all this time. I documented it all and will post an entry later tonight, but I went in every time his crying escalated (spelling?) to a point that I didn't think he would return from. Know what I mean? When he gets REALLY worked up, thats it. So I ended up going in 4 times. 3 times I actually went up to his crib and talked him down and turned him to his side and patted his back and said my key words, 1 time I went in because I thought he was asleep but he was playing with Banana. Believe it or not, the 4th time was the time he was playing, so he drifted off without crying in the end. BUT, 40 minutes later he woke up, happy though. The next nap I did the same thing, it took 20 minutes and I think I went in 3 times. He slept 40 minutes at most. He woke not real happy, not screaming, but whining. He was cranky but engagable in play. This past nap, which he is currently taking, I nursed him, put him down the same way, but James took over while I mowed the grass. I told James not to let him get too upset and not to pick him up. Well when I came back inside to find out how it went and what time he went down and stuff, James caved and picked him up for a minute and patted his back before placing him back in his crib. James said he went in 2 times total. I looked at the clock before going outside it was 3:57 - and he went to sleep at 4:20, so just a little over 20 minutes. If I know my husband, he probably let him cry harder than I would have, but James is in this too and Nathan will be fine. So, I don't know if I am doing it right, but I don't care. It's the only way I can do it right now. I must admit that I got a few loads of clothes folded and put away, the diswasher cleaned out, the two carseats that my sister gave me cleaned and made lunch for James and I. I usually sleep with him every nap. Night time sleep? No clue. I just don't know how to handle that. I know I nurse him at least 5 times during the night, sometimes more. I think I will wait and talk to the doctor about it next week. We can't just cut them off cold turkey. We will have to set boundaries like feeding every 3 hrs max. If it hasn't been three hours, comfort and let cry and comfort again, I guess. I don't know. It would be great to do it together. What are your thoughts about night time plan? Talk to you soon. Julie ps. Maybe once you form a plan, Ryan will help. He better, or I will sick Nathan on him!
from frogmom :
My best friend has twins that will be 2 this month. They are definatelty a handful!
from mymemry :
Heather - Hey! I hope you have a fun day with your cousin and her TWO. I just don't think I could ever handle TWO of Nathan. Sometimes I just feel that I am encouraging him to depend only on me to get him to sleep initially and back to sleep repeatedly through the night. He needs to learn to do that himself. Please include in your diary any helpful hints you have from your new book. I am interested in sleep cues especially. His 6 month appt is on the 20th of this month so maybe our pediatrition will have some advice. I am not opposed to letting him cry some to wind down, but I cannot let him cry continually for a long period of time. I tried to nurse him to sleep for his nap awhile ago and he just sucked, pulled off, sucked, pulled off (it started really hurting), so I shut the buffet and tried to pat him to sleep beside me. He refused and started crying and screaming. I was all done with him and put him in his crib to cry. He WAS PISSED. I went in several times to comfort him in the 10-15 minutes I let him cry but he was no where near close to going to sleep. I finally put the crib rail down and leaned down into his crib and kissed his tear drenched face and patted his back. He stopped crying. I stepped back away from the crib, he started screaming. I leaned back down with him in the crib and he finally allowed me to step back without crying. I do hate that this is such a big issue - our only real issue. Anyway, I hope you had a fun day with your cousin. I don't have any friends here yet. Nathan and I need to get out and go find some! Of course my house is too much of a mess to invite anyone over :-) Julie
from frogmom :
Hey Heather thank you for your comments you left on my diary. Yes I know the addictiveness (is that a word?) of Valuim, I will take one every great once in a while IF other pain killer (tylenol, mortin, ect) are not helping. Your welcome for the comments Camden (that right, right?) Is a freaking doll! Oh I want a boy! Where did you get that blue blanket? Its really pretty! Thank you for adding me, I look forward to reading more!
from mymemry :
Hey Heather! Nathan has the exact blue blanket that Camden has over him on the bed - Some friends just gave it to us about a month ago. He loves to suck on it. I have the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' by Pantley but I just haven't really gotten down to business. I need to start though..... Over the past several days I have been keeping track of his naps and night sleep. He sleeps better at night if he has at least 1 good 2hr nap each day. That seldom happens though. To answer your question - I had a C-section due to him becoming a brow presentation and his heart rate not tolerating active labor.
from thaichic :
Hey girl, I have the same issues with my MIL. It bites too because I always thought I had a great personality tha everyone loved. Haha. She has issues with her sons loving their wives so damn much that they listen to us instead of her I think. She'll get over it. I know I have. I'm done with trying to please her. I'm sure years from now we'll be like best friends. Ha! Right. Anyway you raise Camden how Heather raises him, and don't think twice about it. You're an incredible woman and mother and Camdem is going to reveal that as he grows. I'm envious on how strong you are on putting your foot down on what YOU believe is best for him. I'm so easily influenced sometimes. I was really influenced at the hospital. I didn't want him to have a pacifier. EVER. And the nurse assured me I had the kind of boobs that no pacifier or bottle would cause confusion for him. SO I gave in. But oh well. We live and learn. I feel like I learn something new everyday about parenting. It's awesome. I love being a mother. And I don't mothers should apologize for anything. Keep writing your frustrations. It's good for you because you won't hold it all inside and possibly take it out on your family or yourself especially. Be good to yourself. You need to go out or stay in and just be with yourself. Even and hour does wonders for me. Haha. Camden is so gorgeous. Seriously. I know some moms will just say that but he is freaking adorable.
from mamabean :
You didn't offend me at all, dear. I just wanted to give you another perspective, that's all. Like I said, we're all learning! Alex didn't like bananas either, but loves them mixed with cereal and formula (makes them sweeter) and also, Alex has that same bear dressed as a bunny (only in pink) that I see in Cam's co-sleeper. I just love it!
from bubbles11090 :
I hear ya with Cam not like the cradle hold anymore....Riley hates it. It kind of makes me sad:( He is just getting so big. We didn't have any problems with Riley eating solids...we just scarfed them right up:) Have fun with that:)
from frogmom :
your little guy is so cute!!
from mamabean :
Wow! Sounds like maybe a heart to heart with the mother-in-law might be in order. Not a confrontation, just a "get it all out on the table like adults" discussion so you can re-assert your desires and she can express her concerns. The beauty is, letting her express her own philosophy (ad nauseum, even) should bring about a bit more peace for you, as she will know she's been heard, and you will know YOU'VE been heard, and even if you still end up in full disagreement, at least you have shown respect by hearing each other out. Maybe she will feel less inclined to snap or make those little passive-aggressive comments she's been making once she knows you know what she thinks? (and you may already KNOW what she thinks, but does SHE know you know?) She loves her son and her Grandson... and wants what's best for them, just like you do, but the MIL usually feels as if her thoughts wouldn't be welcome, which I'm sure creates some resentment. How refreshing it'd be for you to approach her with an olive branch and open the lines of communication! Anyway... just thinking outloud... and I also had some major issues with my own Mother when Alex was tiny, so we finally had a long discussion, hashed out our differences (I even found articles to back up some of the things I was doing that she thought were wrong), were pleased to discover we had similar views on many things, and built ourselves a little respectful pact that is working brilliantly to this day! And my Mom, who willingly admitted that she thought I'd be a bad mother (ouch), now respects my parenting style and FREQUENTLY says that she thinks Alex is a wonderful baby and that I'm doing a GREAT job. So, a preemptive confrontation (in the kindest sense of the word) helped us; maybe it'd help you and your MIL, too. She'll be around for a long time, so might as well step up, be the bigger person, and address issues now, if not for yourself or for her, for Cammie-boy! It's not easy, but taking the "high road" normally works out to one's advantage, big time! On another note, I read your vent about Mommies who let their babies cry in order to get more sleep or get more done and wanted to share a different perspective with you about that. I have examined my own motives for letting Alex cry on the rare occasions I've had to, and I can assure you that letting her cry (never for longer than 5 - 8 minutes or so) was *in every instance* the HARDEST of choices I could have made, but the choice that I believed was the best one for Alex's development... the one that would provide HER the chance to learn a new skill that would save her countless hours of misery in the future. I have never (nor will I ever) frowned on the choices that my fellow new Mommies make about raising their children. We are all, even after all our careful research and planning, basically flying blind and learning as we go... and each of us makes brilliant decisions and boneheaded decisions on a daily basis. But, when you read each of our diaries you can see and feel that we all make our decisions out of love, and a strong desire to do what is right for our children and our families, right? What is right for Alex and my family is for her to see and feel the confidence I have in her to learn skills her pediatrician says she is 100% ready for and that ultimately make HER life easier and better (letting her learn how to go to sleep on her own meant I didn't get to nurse her or rock her to sleep myself, which I do miss quite a bit)... and hopefully in doing that, though the process may (infrequently so far) require some initial upset for both of us, I allow her to relate to her world confidently, knowing both that she is deeply loved and can depend fully on me to support her when she needs me, and also that I will give her just enough room to become less and less dependent on me over time, not for me, but for her. Every one of these Diaryland babies is going to thrive, tho, because we love them and we have one another (and our wonderful husbands, families and friends, too!) for support! hugs - m
from frogmom :
Your mother in law needs to get off it he is YOUR son YOU will raise him the way you want to, come on youve made it this far, so obviously you know what you are doing!
from mymemry :
YOU GO GIRL! Camden is YOUR son and you have the right to act in whatever way you feel is in his best interest. YOU are the one who cares for him 99.9% of the time and that makes YOU the authority on what is best for him. Your mother-in-law is walking on very thin ice and she better watch it! She should be thankful that her daughter-in-law is a responsible and loving mother. Anyone can send a mothers' day card out. Don't let her make you feel guilty about doing what you know in your heart is the right thing to do. I am on my high horse just thinking about her!!! Have a good class tonight! Julie
from mymemry :
Heather - I almost feel guilty saying that if my mother wasn't my mother that I WOULD want my mother-in-law to be. I am so very sorry that your in-laws are not responsible grandparents. That is sad. Sad for you, Ryan and sad for little mr. Camden. ))))) I am still with you in the same boat regarding sleep. Sometimes I feel Nathan eats more at night than during the day. He was up from 3-4 just rolling around and chatting last night. I am glad the mattress is on the floor. :-) Julie
from thaichic :
Thanks for the advice sweetie. I know what you mean and how you feel because I feel the same way. I'm not going to stop breastfeeding. I also know how you feel about in-laws. Tim's parents are nothing like mine. But Tim's parents are better with certain issues than mine, but when it comes to Aidan, my parents definitely take the cake. And Aidan is more important than anything else.
from bubbles11090 :
Ugh, I hear ya about the night shift. I wish Jeremiah could switch his too!! Lucky:)
from mymemry :
I really hope you don't mind all these messages... Nathan had his first boat ride at my grandparents house on our trip. He fell asleep during it.....Did Ryan like his diaper book bag? Hint hint? About losing weight - do you like to swim? Have you thought about pushing Cam around the pool? Nathan loves baths and I thought it might be good exercise to push him around while I kick my legs. His life jacket would keep us both up!!
from mymemry :
Heather - I never addressed your note about Nathan and his naps. I just don't know. We are still struggling with it, but to answer your question - YES he is cranky. He is cranky whether or not he gets a good nap, but less cranky if he does get a good nap or two. He is very clingy to me and I can't put him down for more than a few minutes before he starts to whine. He is fine on his own in his exersaucer, or on the floor for about 30 minutes after his naps, but after that he needs me to entertain him one on one. His eyes just pop open after that 45 minute mark. I do try not to obsess about it though.....Does your mother-in-law ever give you advice? However well meaning it may be, maybe you feel a little defensive about someting she may have said or done regarding your son and you may want to keep that special feeding away from her. Its just a thought. I love my mother-in-law dearly, I really do. But one time she made me feel that I wasn't spending enough quality time with her son (my husband). I kind of snapped inside. I said something like 'well if he would help me out more with Nathan then I would have more time for him'.
from mymemry :
Hope you don't mind all the messages - How long did yall try for Mr. Cam? I know exactly what you mean when you say you couldn't imagine him being anything but a boy. I too had a C-section with Nathan. I chose to be induced on my due date and Nathan decided to try to come out face first (but noone knew it till I was in active labor). His heart rate dropped into the 70's with each contraction after my OB broke my water. I will have to write about it like you did some day. I knew in my heart that I too would need a C-section. My background in nursing proved to be my downfall during my labor. I just knew too much and kind of shut down emotionally and ended up just praying for God to take care of my baby. When they discovered that he was face first I said "Time for a C-section?" He was delivered 20 minutes later. His face and eyes were soooo swollen - he couldn't open them for over 24hrs. And my OB accidently cut his forehead with the scalpel when she cut me open. About breastfeeding - I had the most wonderful support system at the hospital. I am so sorry that you did not have that experience, but there MUST BE a God. One who created our babies to know what to do and gives us the instincts we have to know if it is working right.
from mymemry :
Well, I should wait till I have read everything, but I will forget. First and foremost - HE IS A DOLL! He is going to be a heartbreaker for sure. He looks so mature and serious in his facial expression. Yellow looks great on that organic baby of yours. Next about this entry - Isn't it wonderful that you were able to feel the presence of God's Spirit? What is your background in "religion" if you don't mind me asking. Julie
from mymemry :
Heather - I DO KNOW exactly where you are coming from when it comes to your husband and his lack of participation in Cam's care. My husband (wonderful as he may be) needs to be asked, told, etc. what I need him to do. I don't like to have to do that, I want him to just jump in and help before I feel the need to dump Nathan in his arms on the rare occasion that I have had it up to here with his cute little whiny butt. Maybe if you told Ryan what you need - you said it yourself 'define it for him' then it would make a difference. James makes the money, I do not. Therefore, I feel that Nathan is mostly my job, but everyone needs a break right? I do wish my mom lived as close as yours. I know you are really thankful for that. Well, I have more to read in your diary - I started in the present but still need to catch up on everything for the past 2 weeks or so. So, you may hear from me again regarding your past entries :-) Julie.
from frogmom :
hes darling!
from thaichic :
He is so adorable! Be proud! I know you are.
from thaichic :
Your labor sounded rough. But you're one tough woman. My pregnancy was like yours except for the high blood pressure. I had no morning sickness whatsoever. None. I didn't get heartburn till late in the game and I felt great all the time. I'll have to get a picture of Aidan and his pediatrician. Your boy is so cute. Oh and I had the same smile on my face after I got my epidural haha.
from lmcleodcombs :
My pediatrician is pretty mainstream-- I've said before that there are times when I feel like one of the most radical parents in the practice because we nurse and co-sleep-- but she offered sage advice about solids when she asked, "Do you sleep better when your stomach is too full?" "Of course not," I shrugged. "Well, neither does a baby. Stuffing them with food is not going to make them sleep. Sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone." Way to go Dr. H! Might make up a little for the skeptical look I got when I told her we wouldn't have a hard time weaning if I nursed past 12 months (we didn't).
from thaichic :
Misty is absolutely right. Well I agree with her totally. Aidan is the same way. He has to be nursed to sleep, that's why I'm worried about next week when I go away for a conference for four nights. I just know he's going to be confused with Tim trying to give him a bottle and then put him to bed. This whole entry sounds exactly like me. I thought I was reading one of mine. I swear mothers have almost everything in common. Tim doesn't put his pillow over his head, but he rolls over and puts the blankets over him! It's not that we don't want to get up and tend to our child, we just want to feel like we're not alone. I just tell myself Tim is missing out. I notice Aidan sleeps really well next to me, so why should I deny him good sleep. He'll do the crib thing for naps, but like Misty said, I'm sure lots of us slept with our parents as infants and we're not still sleeping with them. If Aidan grows up attached, well I'll figure all that out when we hit that road. Why dwell on it now if we aren't certain it will even happen. You're doing great Heather. You should give yourself more credit.
from mystical76 :
I think you should keep nursing him to sleep. I'm all for it until he doesn't want it anymore. I mean, ALL kids will self-wean at some point or another! You don't see teenagers being nursed to sleep by their mothers! I think our society is far to focused on independence. And far too early! Little babies still need their mothers...they are still one entity...almost like still part of their mother's bodies. I think society needs to focus more on interdependence. I could go on & on, but I know I'm preaching to the choir!
from thaichic :
Awwww. So adorable. Hey we have the same blanket in picture #2!
from mystical76 :
You did it again...brought a tear to my eye! When my little guy went from waking twice during the night to once, I really really missed him! I can't imagine anything besides co-sleeping, too! I think that's my favorite thing about motherhood (thus far).
from thaichic :
Heather, that is a beautiful post. Your son is so lucky to have you as a mother. And you're letter has honestly inspired me to continue breastfeeding. Thank You. Jen
from mystical76 :
I'm wiping the tears from my eyes and cheeks. Your writing is beautiful!
from bubbles11090 :
your letters to Cam are just precious. I love reading them:) They make me want to cry!
from mymemry :
Heather, the new pics are great. His eyes are bright blue!! Glad you had fun. Julie
from mamabean :
aw! i can't view the photos? but i'm glad you had some good family time with hubby and baby... hugs - megan
from mystical76 :
OMG!!! I love you!!! You are, like, my mommy-twin! I had to read every single one of your entries. So many things you said could have been said by me!!! Your mom sounds amazing...I think my mom is pretty awesome, too. I feel so lucky to have been born to her! Oh, and write your birth story. I had a similar experience...I had a c-section after 87 hours of labor. And I was planning for a water birth. I had to mourn the loss of the perfect birth and writing about it really helped me.
from mymemry :
Forgot to add: I enjoyed the ranting yesterday AND HAPPY 4 MONTHS to CAMDEN. Julie
from mymemry :
Hey Heather! Ok about the link. First copy this link: <A HREF="http://members.diaryland.com/edit/notes.phtml?user=camham"> Click here to leave me a note!</A> then to the left in the diaryland members area click on "Change your template", then click on the first link under the heading that reads "Make custom html changes". The link you want to click on reads "Click here to change how each of your entry pages look" Anyway where you paste what you have copied is up to you - depending on where you want a link that reads "Click here to leave me a note!" So, if you want it at the bottom like mine, paste that whole thing after the line that looks like this <P> </P><P> </P> I don't know much about html, but don't interrupt anything when you paste your link and make sure you get the whole thing including the <A at the beginning and the A> at the end. Again, the link you want to paste on your template page is as follows: <A HREF="http://members.diaryland.com/edit/notes.phtml?user=camham"> Click here to leave me a note!</A> Ok. That is about it. It took me like hours to do this, but I am not very computer savy. I am leaving for my trip tomorrow. I will have access to a computer though. Nathan just rolled from his back to his tummy!! He just started doing that. I LOVE IT!! Talk to you later, Julie
from thaichic :
Your son is so adorable. Hi, I'm Jen. I found you through mymemry's diary. Though I'm not sure how I stumbled onto hers. Mother and pregnancy diaries somehow get linked around here at diaryland.:) Anyway I've linked you as well if that's cool. Being a first time mom myself I enjoy meeting other moms and hearing about their experiences. Feel free to read mine if you like. My current journal is thaichic. My before and during pregnancy journal is silverscorp. It's locked since I'm not updating it anymore, but the password and username is aidan. Take care- Jen
from mymemry :
Heather, I love the new pictures. His hair looks like it would be very soft. His eyes remind my of Nathan's. Dark grey blue? Or is that just the picture? Don't forget to tell me his birthday. Julie
from mymemry :
Heather, When is Cam's birthday? I love baby close-ups. Content eyes. They forgive and forget so easily you know? I HAD to wash my hands after mixing the meatloaf with my hands last night and Nathan didn't understand. He was NOT HAPPY (whining eventually led to all out crying), but a few minutes later, it was like nothing happened.
from mamabean :
Beautiful letters! And Camden is absolutely breathtaking! He would inspire me to write lovely letters, too! They are so honest and poignant. I am amazed at how well you express your feelings for him, the good and the challenging. Keep the photos coming...
from mymemry :
Heather, Ok. This is my second message to you and I am all caught up on your entries. What area are you studying for your Masters? Is it one day a week only that you have to go to class? Is that your mother that keeps Cam? Your letter to Cam is beautiful - it brought tears to my eyes. I think the pictures are a perfect size. He is beautiful. Seeing him makes me want to get the Gold membership so I can upload pictures of my beautiful boy also. I look forward to reading your diary on a regular basis. Alice indeed is an inspiration!
from mymemry :
Hi Heather!! I was so excited to see your message in my guestbook. I can tell you how to put a link to your notes page on your main page if you like. That way others can just click on that link directly from your diary page. Meagan(Mamabean) taught me how. Just let me know if you would like that. I have not yet read all of your entries, but I had to stop reading and let you know that our boys are similar in sleep, breaking their mommas' hearts with their cry and even the same exersaucer. I will write again when I finish reading your entries. Julie

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