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hey i just got your note tonight. yeah i never get wrapped up in guys.. he had been a goooood guy friend for a long time. we used to even talk about our relationships together & help each other out. then one day i just fell for him-- so unexpectedly sp? haha. and it took me forever to realize he would never feel the same. so i was dealing with the fact that i would be 2nd to him for a long time. now i finally understand i should be someones 1st- not 2nd and even though it killed that i couldn't win him over-- i did eventually do the right thing. (: thanks for reading. its good to know someone else out there listens to me venting. sometimes the people i'm closest to still haven't got a clue what i feel because the words come out so wrong. anyway.. thanks ( :

from sexyatheist :

hello christina. just leave me somewhere i can send the password and i'll happily send it along.

from carameldolce :

just a thought... maybe you would find yourself more accepted if you didn't measure yourself and others by whom they've slept with or been with. Respect yourself first, be happy with who you are, then people will respect that and relationships may follow... Getting wrapped up in finding a man at 17 to me seems silly... I want to see the world and become my own person before I settle down and commit my life to another. Think about your dreams and goals... and maybe getting a man around your finger isn't top of the list. Just something to think about.

from carameldolce :

sorry I wrote so much.

from carameldolce :

Feel the exact same all the time. And I've never figured out why. Why don't they call, I'm always telling them I'm here for them. Why I can't stay out as I please and do as every other kid seems to be able to do. I lost my parents trust from trying to be the "bad" girl instead of the good one this year... maybe its a phase us "smart shy girls" go through when we finally think we're missing out on something all these other kids do, but are we? A so called friend I made this year never stops telling me how drunk and wasted he gets and how he hates most people in his little circle of friends... it makes them seem almost pathetic.(but some how intriguing?) Just a thought about this whole situation, but if you want to get drunk by all means go ahead... its fun just make sure you are with people you trust... as much as high school seems like the place to do that, your parents are still there trying to keep you safe... college is your chance to experience things good or bad for yourself. I'm sure its not because you are a bad friend in anyway... It's probably because your "real" friends are in the exact situation you are in ... or if you are friends with that group that always seems to be out partying (i tried to join this group recently) they may not except you if you've been classified good... ME lol oh well. it wasn't worth it... my first crappy kiss came from it, but that's what i went looking for. Highschool... :/ can't wait to be out of here. Good luck dear. You don't have to change, you are great as you are... lets be good shy girls, we still have our fun! ;) I'm a pretty good flirt when I want to be lol. Actress at heart.

from carameldolce :

Ah girl! There is true love! I don't know if those are really your friends or not but they make up the fairly small percentage of highschool sluts. There are others of us who actually respect ourselves... having sex doesn't mean you know what love is... actually if all your friends have done is sex without acutally knowing and respecting that person they don't know love. I think you probably know more about love than they will ever. Don't jump off the cliff... are those girls really happier? Yeah we may not attract lots of guys because we don't put out but would you really want one of those guys? When you find a guy that respects you as much as your respect yourself that relationship will be so much stronger than any superficial one they have/had. Stay strong! <3

from carameldolce :

haha you're not a dork! I did write all the poems... I always attribute anything I quote from someone else to the author. Thanks for the note! :) Best wishes <3

from carameldolce :

thanks for adding me to your favorites. I loved your most recent entry because it reminds me of what I've been going through pretty much my entire life. People seem so fake these days, it's hard to trust them, especially with girls. I've never had a best friend either. But I like to hope that in the end those of us trying to be something more than just an ordinary teen will find our place. For now I'll walk my lonely road in search of others who need a genuine friend. I wish you happy days... you're not alone on how you feel.

from teenageriotx :

thanks for the note. haha, yeah he was an asshole. funny thing is he said i was fat when im like not fat at all. i guess he was trying to trigger something since you know girls are weight concious and all. haha, he's a prick.

from zer0-guilt :

hey.. i was going through my diary and fixing/looking at everything and when i got to the 'favorites' part i saw where you had me listed.. and then i remembered you and i read your diary. i thought it was funny how opposite we are, but that you like my diary any ways. i don't know if you really read it anymore.. but i read yours tonight for the first time so i wanted to leave you a note(= ..i don't think you should form a bad veiw of yourself. you spend a lot- to much time- talking yourself down. your the only person who can judge who you are and other people will feed off of your opinion of yourself. chances are if you stop thinking about what other people might consider you as, you could probably be the 'real' you. hAvE a LiTtLe FuN-- be outgoing and free!! i think you should take a risk- the next time you want to say something that you usually would NEVER say out loud... just say it. test yourself. i bet you'll get a good outcome. annnd- even if you don't, you will have atleast done it for yourself and it will be one step closer to caring a little less of what other people think. (=

from intheory27 :

Thanks for adding me to your favorites. :)

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