messages to athenyx:
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from almostrachie :
Well-guarded life secret: -Everyone- is uncomfortable in their own skin sometimes. -Everyone- comes with a batch of problems. The trick isn't trying to fix those things, but to accept that they are part of who you are and that you are completely lovable and worth loving anyways...which is almost more difficult than changing them, unfortunately, but as far as I have seen, it's the only way to go. <3!
from almostrachie :
How amazing would it be if someone just invented a switch to turn off emotions temporarily? I can't imagine how disorienting it must be to spend 4 months in a completely different world and then be thrown right back into regular life again -- I hope you get your much-needed break soon! <3
from julymalaise :
I cannot wait to hear all of the great experiences you will have!! Have fun in America and haha, I am sure you will survive!!! :)
from almostrachie :
Absolutely! Do you still have the same e-mail address? I will e-mail it to you :) Also, so sorry we didn't / won't get to see each other this time while you're here, definitely next time! And, I got my Facebook back, I'll look for you today and add you :)
from julymalaise :
I am glad you are enjoying yourself and you are very lucky that you are traveling this summer!!! :) I always wanted to go to North Carolina, my mom's friend lives in an island near it, so that is cool!! And you definetely have to write down your city experiences when you travel from to city to city, especially when you come to Philly. Aww, so excited!! You are going to love it here!! I am glad you are having fun!! Do stay safe and enjoy Americaaa!!! :)
from julymalaise :
Aww...how is North Carolina? Are you enjoying the States? I always wanted to go down South. The south is a beautiful place. Virginia is where I want to go, but here in the Northeast, it is not that bad! I love Philly! Hope your trip is wonderful!!
from almostrachie :
Ahhhh, you're in the States! I legitimately squealed when I saw that note, haha! I'm not sure what your funds / availability is like, but I will be spending the next 2 weeks (July 18th - August 1st) in northern Indiana, which is at least a little bit closer to North Carolina that Arizona! I think. Hah! I would love to try and arrange some sort of get-together if at all possible, I think that would be uber cool!
from idontpretend :
ty *hugs*
from julymalaise :
Oh thank you!! And my friend's birthday was on Christmas Eve too!
from julymalaise :
Hey, when was your birthday?? Happy birthday to you!! And do have a lovely Christmas!!
from almostrachie :
It makes me so happy to read about how well you are doing and how happy you are! It sounds like you've really found a fantastic place, and that you're going to have such a great time of it -- yaaay! <3
from julymalaise :
Okay, let me know what is going. I'm currently reading The Canterbury Tales!! Such fun!
from almostrachie :
I know exactly what you mean about talking to your diary as if it's a person, it makes perfect sense to me. I get mad at mine, sometimes, too, for showing me how silly and immature I have been. But mostly I am just grateful to have something that can show me how far I've come since I started it. <3 I'll be sending you a package very soon, hopefully this one makes it! :)
from julymalaise :
Yeah Dickens is pretty amazing. And that is cool you got to see "Oliver Twist" at the theather, that's completely awesome! I loveeee the Great Gatsby, such a good book! The best book EVER!! I never heard of those other ones, but they sound good. Maybe I should check them out...
from julymalaise :
It is!! Right now, I'm reading "Oliver Twist." I love it so far. What are you guys reading for American Studies?
from julymalaise :
That's cool that you are taking Creative Writing and American Studies. I'm currently taking British Literature and I have to say, it's a very interesting class!
from crayon :
Ha, I actually went to a zoo last Monday. I'd go again except it's way too expensive (it'd probably be like $19). I need to get a membership. I'm probably going to go out looking for weird stuff followed by some Mexican and a milkshake and time with my sister. Either way, I kind of already feel better. By tomorrow I should be my old self, though.
from crayon :
Thank you. I had to go back and see what all those letters meant and it kinda brought me a bit out of this funk I'm in. I appreciate the reminder.
from julymalaise :
Thank you, you can add me too as well if you like!
from julymalaise :
You have a really cool diary, may I add you?
from fairybones :
ohh thank you for those kind words! it was the nicest note i've ever received. <3
from kabukicharms :
I had to google "rara" skirt, that was a new phrase to me. We just call em pleated skirts. Though googling it educated to the fact that they made a comeback in the UK. Cute!
from kabukicharms :
Thank you! You know, you'll eventually get out and about and see the world, I doubt you'll be contained in English borders. And once I move and have my comfortable little southern home I'm opening the doors and the spare bedroom,that I hope I'll have,to the world. So visit! Also, "talking about nonsense, drinking relentless and eating shortbread", is why your awesome.
from almostrachie :
That sounds so quick and easy! I looked, there doesn't seem to be such a thing here. Boo! I wish it was that easy!!
from almostrachie :
I'm not sure what a deed poll service is, but I will for sure be looking into if we have them or not! I think, though, the only way to change your name is through the court systems which can get pretty expensive. Yuck!
from omfggwtf :
one day i'm sure i'll be laughing at it all (: maybe.. haha x
from omfggwtf :
mm, i think it's about time to give up now. i tried so hard for a long time but it never goes right in the end. i have the choice but i don't think i'm going to accept the offer now. as much as i'd like to.. it's just going to keep happening. oh well. x
from omfggwtf :
aghh :(. this is horrible ha. x
from omfggwtf :
i wouldn't even know what classes to take hahaha. ohh i'm useless!
from kabukicharms :
Dude I love your list! When you cross the states in your top down ride look me up!
from silver4 :
"c = squared route of whatever the fuck are you talking about" hahaha that's pretty much how i remember it all too!
from silver4 :
thank you! :)
from kabukicharms :
Thank ya for the support darlin! I think he might be better! But he's also real old, like sixteen.
from comebacktome :
I freaking LOVE those books. My advice though, make sure you have the 3rd book if you start the 2nd, as you can't possibly live with the suspense if you can't read them back to back. Trust me, I think I started the 3rd book at like 11pm and read through the night. They are that addictive!!! xo
from comebacktome :
Well the Dr thinks it's fractured, but I have to go for an Xray to confirm. Sigh. Thanks for the thoughts though xo
from comebacktome :
Interesting comparison. I'm assuming you don't like mushrooms? And at least they will also hopefully tell me if my toe is broken, so we'll see...
from omfggwtf :
thank you ♥ x
from omfggwtf :
hahaha you must have words spilling out of your ears! if i ever want a new book, i'm coming to you for a recommendation ;) x
from omfggwtf :
goodness me you have a lot of books! i wish i had that many. my little bookshelf is full and all my others are stacked on top of each other on top of the shelf now, it's looking a bit unstable! oops.
from omfggwtf :
aaaaaaha oh the slow dances, i was always on the bench for that aswell.. yeah i do! and JELLY SHOES!!! i only had like, one boring pair. and this girl had a pair of just about every colour under the sun :(. furbies, cabbage patch dolls, ohhh.
from omfggwtf :
HAH i nearly just spat out my drink. yeah, school disco's were DA BOMB aswell! dunno about you, but at my primary school it'd just be the little boys running around skidding and chasing each other, and the girls trying to impressive their "crushes" with their swift dance moves. i mostly stood there awkwardly, i was too slow hahaha x
from omfggwtf :
hahaha. i remember the really terrible ones.. my mum had this awful 3 disc CD of "PARTY TUNES".. hmm.. AAAAAAAY MACARENA! brilliant taste my mother has. just brilliant. x
from omfggwtf :
oh jesus. they were awful hahaha. oh to be young again! x
from kabukicharms :
If it makes you feel any better I think your totally rad! Mostly for using the word "haranguing".
from kabukicharms :
Thank you for the handwriting compliment! My handwriting is actually horrible, that's one of my letter writing handwritings. Yours however is spectacular! I love your pressuring, it adds natural differences in thickness to your stroke.
from autumnrein :
Of courseums!-lol Is there an email that I can send you the password to?-Andrea
from idontpretend :
coughcheckyouremailcough
from idontpretend :
Lol, it wasn't quite every night. Some nights I did manage to get to bed at a decent hour. And I usually managed to catch up on my sleep on the weekends. xD Basically each hour you spend in a class each week is a credit hour. A class with a lab is longer, a class without a lab is shorter. So a lab gives you more credit hours than just a lecture. Sounds like you've got plenty to keep you busy at least. Which is good. Keeps you from getting too bored and all that. Creative writing is epic, I considered that back when I had no idea what I was going for. =D x
from idontpretend :
Hahaha, it's taken some practice to get good at it. When I was in the Navy I functioned on roughly 4 hours of sleep a night for most of the 4 years I was in. Liked staying up late too much and had to be up at 4:30am in order to get on base on time. Fuuuuuun times. And hey, as long as you're getting the grades. ;) That is one lucky alarm clock. Next semester I'm taking Human Anatomy and Physiology, Genetics, and Technical Writing. A&P has a lab, so it's full time credit hours. I'm looking forward to it. =] What about you? x
from idontpretend :
Lol, well, I've been very good and getting to bed at a regular hour. Usually around 12ish or so. Sometimes a lil later. And I always set my alarm for 9am at the latest, so I'm guaranteed to get up at a decent hour. I'm trying to keep my sleep schedule so I don't get out of whack, especially once I start classes in a couple of weeks. I'll def hit you up. =] Oh, it's about a quarter after 6 here right now. x
from idontpretend :
I never denied being a man. xD Yeah, I'm not a big drug person because I don't like not being in control of my body. I never really understood people that do hardcore drugs. I would so hate being that far gone. I'd totally email you, but I don't have your email address. I'm a night person by nature, so I love staying up. There's a bit of a time difference between us btw. haha x
from idontpretend :
I've tried over the counter stuff, not sure if I've heard of Nytol though, hehe. Sometimes it helps, a lot of the time I just get tired but still don't fall asleep. It sucks. It hasn't been as big of an issue lately at least. I think it's more stress related than anything. Thinks are slowly getting less stressful in general. I think staying on top of my workout is really helping too. Insomnia bloooows. There are other things that help me fall asleep pretty easily, but it's a two-person job. ;D x
from omfggwtf :
i don't like themmmmmmmm they're evil!
from idontpretend :
Awww, well, def gotta be careful with that. I try to keep from getting hammered unless I'm around friends I know I can trust. Hmmm, I wonder if I could get a medical prescription for sleeping issues? For some reason, some nights I can't get more than 4 hours before I wake up and can't fall back asleep. It suuuuuuucks. x
from idontpretend :
Hehehe, cuddly and stuff is def a plus. Me, it just puts my arse right to sleep. xD x
from idontpretend :
Hahahaha, at least it keeps your life from getting boring right? And zomg, I shoulda known that. Not my thing, but who am I to judge? ;D x
from idontpretend :
Lmao, sounds like fun. What's a spliff btw? I'm an ignorant American. x
from idontpretend :
Lol, yeah, I'm a tiny bit OCD about certain things myself. I try to keep it under control though. xD Some things are neat and clear-cut, other things you just have to roll with it. x
from idontpretend :
omigah, dont let me get philosophical.
from idontpretend :
Isn't that the point of having a diary? Personally, I think part of humanity's problem is trying to fit everything into nice, neat little boxes. Life, and humanity, just doesn't work that way. It's good to have a way to break that box and let it all out and be yourself.
from idontpretend :
Always!! Anything to help keep from getting stuck in a rut. Nonsense is good for that. x
from idontpretend :
Hahahaha, that's a great way to look at it. Naw, I read a bit of your diary and I think it's worth reading. ~.^ x
from idontpretend :
sweet! i should probably add you then. =D x
from idontpretend :
you seem pretty kool. be sure to keep in touch. x =]
from idontpretend :
x ;D
from idontpretend :
woohoo! the best kind! x
from idontpretend :
nice, i love quotes! x xD
from idontpretend :
very true. but at least it makes us stronger in the end, right? x =]
from idontpretend :
i hate that damn abyss. what we need is a bazillion tons of concrete to fill it in once and for all. what's really scary is that you sound like me. except i never dealt with the physical stuff that you did. mine was always psychological, verbal and emotional with a minimum of physical. i'm sorry for what you went through. but i'm glad it made you a stronger person instead of completely breaking you.
from idontpretend :
aint that the way it is? x
from omfggwtf :
i hope 2011 is brilliant for you :) thanks for all the advice you've given xxxx
from kabukicharms :
Everything will be alright. I'm pretty sure you'll figure something out.
from omfggwtf :
thank you for the virtual hug ;) xo
from omfggwtf :
he's amazing ;). and oh.. i see. hmm well maybe mine is going somewhat like that.. i would much prefer it over the other thing ha! but every two weeks sounds a bit daunting :|. and oooh, that's kind of you but it's okay hahaha, don't put your time into me ahah but thank you for the offer, and thanks for wishing me luck :O x
from omfggwtf :
yeah i did disappear. well, sort of. for about 4 days.. that happens every now and again but i ALWAYS come back ahaha. yeah i guess i should do it.. i was thinking maybe 'cos after the THING i did, IT didn't make an appearance for 2 months, then it was here for a week like usual. and now it's been nearly 2 months again, so i am kind of clinging onto the hope that my cycle is just extremely messed up and it only happens every 2 months or something.. oh how doubtful ahaha.. yeah, i'll get a test, sigh. i think i'll be going tomorrow. and thanks x
from omfggwtf :
eek.. IT has been missing for over 3 weeks now.. do you think it's time to get a test? :/ ha
from kabukicharms :
Ahh I used to love penpaling! May favorite thing was to look at the stamps from all over the world. Of course then I had to stare in utter disbelief at the fact that people whose first language isn't english, who don't even use the western alphabet, have better handwriting than me.
from omfggwtf :
thanks (: ah yeah i'd be the same with the family thing. if they were told now.. it would just cause upset probably and as you said, no point now, as blunt as that sounds ha. ahhh people do piss me off with their motor mouths, but i'm the same.. the people who spoke about it to complete strangers aren't really my friends now either. it is a good quote! and you're right, after knowing so many dickheads in our lives, they must be easier to catch out now ;) xo
from omfggwtf :
oh.. :| wow that's sad. you sound a lot braver than me ha! i told my mum who told everyone else.. and i told a friend who told everyone else.. ohh, trust is such a good thing. anyway, you sound very strong for doing all of that on completely your own. and i'm sorry he was such a horrible prick who couldn't help you out. and thank you for sharing it with me so i don't feel like the only one, ha. yeah i guess it'd be okay to do it now.. i'll have to man up and do it. it's just, my parents can't know this time. i'd be beheaded! oops.. xo
from omfggwtf :
nnnnoooooooo you don't irritate me at all! hmm yeah i guess i should get a test.. would it be alright to do one now? hmm probably. i know i'll end up putting it off for another week or so.. just put it down to something else for a little longer ;). but yeah, i gather you had the same thing, just at a younger age :(? i dunno. i feel better now though, i've calmed down and i'm not being such an over dramatic little miss aha. so i guess have a CALM week and then go crazy about it if it doesn't arrive in the next week or so..... gah. xo
from omfggwtf :
mmm. i dunno hah. it's just scary! y'know. the whole.. is it going to happen again thing.. i dunno how i'd find out.. or when. or just to wait. and eklvj. i dunno. ohhh. grr.
from omfggwtf :
........oh my. that sounds really nice right now :| no wonder you have none left! i'd eat that mmmmmm.
from omfggwtf :
........what';s a snickerdoodle? :O!
from omfggwtf :
aha ooh! i was thinking about getting the implant but i heard all these things can make some women gain weight, or lose it and knowing my luck i'd gain it -_- or there can be a lot of other weird symptoms so it kind of put me off.. i'm kind of mental enough as it is so turning into a walking hormone won't help ahaha. x
from omfggwtf :
ahh that'd be lovely aha, with the no period thing.. then i could stop worrying all the damn time ha. i get a box of the pill that goes on for six months and i was on it a few years ago and never had a problem.. but wklcwklg. i don't want to be too certain about anything anymore :/.. my doctor gave me a leaflet about other things i can try so i'll probably look into that and for now hope for the best ha x
from omfggwtf :
haha ;) yeah good! it's nice to know we're not totally stupid like some people may think ahaha. ah.. yeah that's what worries me. uni sounds okay but for me i know i'd probably end up dropping out. it's my "thing". i left school and got okayish grades in the end but not to make me proud. then i left college after a day because i was too nervous about the work and the people. so i did nothing for a year, and then i went back and wanted to leave but i JUST about managed it and got a DDM grade.. so uni is like BIGGER and SCARIER and i'd fall behind and ugh. but there's literally no jobs about, no matter how much i try, grr. but good on you for being excited, i suppose it's for some people and not for others, aye? xo
from omfggwtf :
hahahah nice :) i liked gossip girl a lot, i have the 1st/2nd series on dvd (ssh). and i'm into that "pretty little liars" series aswell. and obviously the zombie programme.. we all need some american drama in our lives ;).. ahhh nice! well, good on you then :) i was at college doing a national diploma in i.t and i got a triple grade distinction distinction merit, so i was like :O OHH, i did well! everyone was expecting me to fail so i was like HA.. but i'm not sure what to do now, hmm. i am toying with the idea of uni but i think i'd suffer there. but i'm having no luck with job hunting arrrrrrgh!
from omfggwtf :
i notice your notes page is being completely spammed by me :| but well done for getting a distinction! are you in college or uni? i have no idea how you get graded in university soo.. but well done :D... (also gossip girl.. guilty pleasure of mine *blush* even though i haven't watched in months, sigh) x
from omfggwtf :
OVEN. COOKED. WAFFLES. yes! :D mmmmmmmm.
from omfggwtf :
done! x
from omfggwtf :
(: wooooop x
from omfggwtf :
also.. "When i die, i'd like to be pushed from a very high building, so i get one last thrill before the end".. hahaha, i love that.
from omfggwtf :
woahhooooohhhh, music taste! i just stumbled on here, i'd like to add you if you don't mind? if you do i'll take you off ha, i'd like to read more though (: x
from u-saved-me :
hellooo, if you can email beybergen@hotmail.com, then I can give the pw/user to you :D At the moment, I cant risk it falling into the wrong hands.. *shifty eyes*
from kabukicharms :
Typically I had always dated girls that where disproportionately attractive, by a level of several magnitudes, to myself. And it wasnít that difficult to do. Be cocky without being arrogant, find an emotional foothold, date young or dumb. With a few rare exceptions this was standard practice. However I canít say that I was personally attracted to these girls. The perception of outward appearance is motivated by a collective gestalt. Personally I prefer the mousy girl. The girl who hides behind her hair, glasses, or her books. Itís these girls, the girls that by societies standard would only be cute or bordering on plain, that make me get all tongue tied and lose any semblance of poise and charm.
from kabukicharms :
All girls look better in glasses, I'm just saying. Also I have kind of the same idea as you for when I day. I want to be pushed out of a plane, deathbed and all. That way I can enjoy the feeling of weightlessness and free fall. Plus the death should be quick, all be it messy.
from justsanguine :
Thanks! :)
from almostrachie :
I just saw your message in my guestbook, thanks for leaving it! That thing was gathering cobwebs. It's nice to meet another Rachael, even if it is spelled differently! I started reading your diary and I just couldn't stop...a lot of the things you said really resonated with how I feel. I'll definitely be back!

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