messages to trapeze-act:
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from raven72d :
Glad that you feel safe and able to write.
from dangerspouse :
You don't know what to do?? Re-read your entry, out loud, to yourself. I think the answer will come to you then. Good luck. Really.
from glorycloud :
Just a note telling you I read your sad entry-your life sounds horrible-I grew up with drunks-peace
from outer-jessie :
Yep. All of what stepfie said is truth. Personally I would avoid the passive aggressive thing, only because I enjoy the moral high ground; tell her she can use it if she comes and gets it, cleans it when the party's over, and brings it back afterward. If she can't be arsed, neither can you. Also, a crazy idea, which might be crazy depending on your financial situation: Is there anyway you can trade in your lemon and put it toward financing another car? I don't know what your credit's like, or if you can afford car payments and all that, but anywho just wanted to throw that out there.
from stepfordtart :
I just stopped dying my hair blonde after ten years. I didnt realise what a royal pain in the arse it is to do until I didnt have to do it anymore. Persevere, dear, Im sure you shall be all platinum gorgeousness before too long! Oh, and I'll tell you what else is a royal pain in the arse - your sister! She'll just have to put her pulled pork in a slow oven instead, wont she. Dont suppose the world will end. Or, she could go buy her own damn crock pot - even over here where things are EXPENSIVE, you can get one for less than 20. s x
from stepfordtart :
Oh FFS! How was it advertised? I sold a car with a blown head gasket once, but I stated in the advert "head gasket gone/good fixer upper". What a bloody nightmare for you. s x
from stepfordtart :
Yay to the new car! Sounds like that was a pretty good deal, too! s x
from stepfordtart :
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes. It certainly is! Thanks for that. s x
from stepfordtart :
Yeh, that happens. Although, I'd have to be pretty damn hungry to get through my two these days. Might have to freeze some for later. s x
from stepfordtart :
Im pretty sure youre not a horrible person - oh and Im pretty sure they dont give your name out when they investigate a noise complaint....although, it would be kind of funny if they knocked the door and said "Yeh. Umm. We got a call from trapeze-act and she said your music was pissing her right off. So, if you let me know what youre going to do about it, we'll just go over to her house - yeh, that one over there, with the light on - and let her know that youre sorry, shall we?" Heehee. I totally wish it worked like that. Not really. s x
from stepfordtart :
Ooch. Sounds crummy. Hopefully a few days at your ma's will help you sort your head out. Thinking good thoughts for you. s x
from stepfordtart :
Umm. Things seem to be a bit up and down in your life at the mo. Are you OK? Seriously? *worries about you* s x
from stepfordtart :
I think thats perfectly acceptable ; ) s x
from stepfordtart :
I had to google fudgcicles. I could easily eat a whole box. You are in good company. Sending calming vibes your way (as I dont have a strong-armed man with a removal truck to hand!). s x
from stepfordtart :
Bah. So what? They all eventually get up and wander off, and you'll sure as hell know about it when she wants something. Treacle didnt bother to speak as her sister instinctively knew what she wanted without her having to say anything. Nowadays we cant shut her up...but then, she IS 11! It'll all come in time dear. s x
from linguafranca :
What she said. She'll get there in her own time, don't worry!
from outer-jessie :
Nonsense, babies do everything on their own time. I didn't walk until I was 18 months (not that I'm bragging or anything) while my younger brother walked at 9 months. She'll do what she needs to do, when she needs to do it. It could be that she just knows that you'll do things for her so she doesn't need to learn it for herself; coincidence that I was an only child until my brother was born when I was 18 months old? You decide.
from julymalaise :
Why, hello! Thanks for suggesting those two bands and songs. I heard of Bat for Lashes and I think they are wonderful as well! The Bird and the Bee song is simply fabulous and I am enternally grateful that you were kind enough to suggest these bands and thank you once again!
from outer-jessie :
Good luck with this change...let us know if there's anything we can do to support you.
from outer-jessie :
So sorry to hear about how you've been feeling. It sounds like that new baby = mommy's loss of self-identity thing is starting to wear extremely thin. Is there a reason you can't have a heart to heart with J when the baby's not around? Is there a reason you can't get a part-time job so you have something of your own to attend to? I know it costs money to have child care, but you'll be making money, right? You have this diary too, and you can put whatever you want in it. Do whatever it takes to support your own sense of self. The baby, of course she needs you, but she'll need you in different ways as she develops HER sense of self, so you'll need to remember how to just be you. She'll be getting smarter too; if you aren't happy, she'll start noticing that before she understands what it means.
from stepfordtart :
Stoopid horse. s x
from glorycloud :
if you like the music of Flying Saucer Attack try the music of Bardo Pond-peace Jonny
from stepfordtart :
Curling Iron??? Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeeee! I would deffo DRAG my daughter to Taste of Amsterdam (our local 'supplier') if it would stop her doing that - Hell, I'd even bankroll the purchase! s x
from stepfordtart :
Jooj once ate a whole jar of Clinique face cream when she was a baby. As she's 15 now I dont think it did her an lasting damage although it was fun to phone their customer services dept and ask 'is there anything actually poisonous in it, cos my baby's eaten the lot?'! s x
from stepfordtart :
*does happy happy joy joy dance for you*! s x
from stepfordtart :
Meh. Hope the screaming hasnt/didnt last all day! s x
from ohell :
sorry to hear about your Grandma...you're so on target w your note, & thanks for that added vote for our 'actual health'. On another note, I checked out your blog and saw the link to A Raw Trial, which is awesome. I love your humor about it - I did a year raw and thought I was the only one who had a bad attitude about it. I hope you keep it up, or something like it, because I bookmarked it...
from futurewifey :
I just wanted to stop by and say thank you for the note. It helps to know that someone else has been in my shoes, so to speak. I hope your baby was okay once you gave away your cat.
from stepfordtart :
'impractical to be glamorous'???? I never heard such damnable heresy! 'Imperative to be glamorous'? Now, thats more like it! s x
from stepfordtart :
Oh! That sounds like a bit of a grim situation. Hope things get better for you. s x
from stepfordtart :
Hey! Thanks for adding me! I shall, naturally reciprocate. s x
from outer-jessie :
Indeed, say I to your post. Even as a non-religious person, I can get behind this logic.
from linguafranca :
Yeah, I saw that! Looks like the parents of today are finally producing the first great works of art related to baby sleep habits.
from outer-jessie :
An intestinal cleanse, huh. http://vegpeace.org/coloncleanse.html
from linguafranca :
This reminded me of you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFANzZTdYM&feature=player_embedded
from outer-jessie :
Yipe. Maybe an ear infection? Baby tylenol do anything to help? As for you, this sounds like as good a time as any to hire a babysitter for a few hours and just go do something for yourself. Get a haircut, sit in the shade, read a book, whatever you want.
from portlypete :
Double-sided tape! What were you thinking of!? Try considering the people you care about. And they are ... ?
from linguafranca :
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself! They look homemade, is all. Your daugher isn't going to hold it against you that they don't look perfect. All that matters is that you took the time to make her birthday treats yourself! Better than storebought any day.
from outer-jessie :
What, those are adorable! Do not be ashamed of your cake pops - any cake pop is a good cake pop!
from outer-jessie :
I went to buy a pair of nice looking but comfortable shoes for my last trip, and when I went in and asked the shoe store guy for "comfortable walking shoes", he looked at me and said haughtily, as if I'd just made a most impossible request, "well that all depends on what you think is comfortable." Come on buddy, you're a shoe salesman; I think we can agree on what IS and IS NOT a comfortable walking shoe. Sneaker, yes; stiletto, no. I think it was a back-handed comment about my weight. Or the guy was an idiot. Or option c, all of the above.
from glorycloud :
pagan Christianity-I do not know if I would call certain practices that go on in a church/American evangelical church pagan-maybe cultural-meaning American Christian do worship based on cultural likes and dislikes-I do not see Christian worshiping the Lord like they did in the New Covenant communities-who does? But there are elements of NT worship in American churches like preaching-teaching-praising God-giving money to help the poor-fellowship etc-basic simple Christian worship-but somethings are cultural like choirs-special music-praise bands-an American flag behind the pulpit etc. . . We should strive to have our Sunday worship conform to the model found in the letters of the Apostle Paul-but once again folks tend to worship in ways that they find entertaining-is that pagan? I do not know? peace Jonny
from glorycloud :
no I have not heard about pagan Christianity-how did you hear about it? Weird-peace Jonny
from outer-jessie :
YOU CAN DO IT! Just a little at a time - every little bit counts.
from curioushope :
I really enjoy your writing. I hope you don't mind if I add you to my favorites. Regarding the snoring. I used to feel that way about my ex husband's breathing when he slept. Sometimes I would give him a little punch or an elbow. In their sleep, they never know what hit 'em :)
from akasha90 :
the snoring reminds me of my step-father. i was always kind of angry that my mom had to sleep so uncomfortably on the sofa. i hope the same doesn't happen to you.
from omfggwtf :
ohhhhhhhhhhhh, adding you. if you don't mind! by the way, my mum was the same with my dad. sleeping on the sofa for a few years 'cos of his snoring.. then she discovered ear plugs hahah. i dunno if she still uses them but she's not on the sofa anymore! x
from outer-jessie :
How about breathe-right strips?
from linguafranca :
I see what you mean (re: counterparts). How old's your girl now? If she's getting interested in food, you might check out baby-led weaning. No purees, no spoonfeeding. The forum is very helpful: babyledweaning.com/forum.
from outer-jessie :
That sucks. But here: http://dailyburn.com.
from outer-jessie :
Great idea on the fruit! I'm a veggie fan myself, so roasting up an eggplant or steaming an artichoke is what it's all about for me. As for the online workout buddies plan, I'm in! I recently realized that my walking regimen won't quite pan out the way I thought, so I need to build some more exercise into my week. Any thoughts?
from outer-jessie :
I'm with you on that. I'm 5'2" and about 170, more or less the same boat, but I accomplished it all on my own, no baby to blame. Sigh. But I figure, small changes, cumulative effect. Burning 50 or 100 calories here and there will start to make a difference. I started parking my car further from my office and power walking (ish) to work. You could dance with the baby during play time; as she gets bigger, you'll get stronger, bit by bit. Mash fruits and veggies by hand for baby food; juice them by hand for beverages. Little things; no-big-deal things. Over time, they add up.
from outer-jessie :
For what it's worth (and I'm not a mother, so it may not be worth much) I think the baby-identity thing is common, and that it goes away with time. As the baby gets older, she'll need you less and less, and you'll incorporate yourself back into your self. I noticed, in this class I'm taking where people were asked to introduce themselves in a paragraph, how many of them talked about being parents. But they also talked about their careers, their hometowns, their hobbies, their passions. It'll come back. Don't lose sight of yourself in the meantime.
from glorycloud :
thanks for the note-I am doing ok-the Lord keeps us going-pray all is well with you and family-peace Jonny
from outer-jessie :
That totally blows. How exactly are we supposed to protect ourselves form identity theft from our own relations?
from omfggwtf :
hahaha oh yeah i am always here.. it's pretty sad really but oh well! the internet is ruining my life.
from omfggwtf :
oooh, i have a new add ^__^ thank you, x
from glorycloud :
Hope all is going well with you-baby etc. . . peace Jonny
from glorycloud :
I will pray for you and baby-peace
from glorycloud :
Happy to read you had your baby-I am sure she will be fine-I can not remember how much our children weighed when they were born-jaundice is common for new borns-our children were born with jaundice-well thank the Lord-pray all goes well with you baby etc-peace Jonny
from outer-jessie :
Wow, that's a super-fast labor. That baby wanted to start her life ASAP! I'm sorry you've had such a rough week with her, but still and all, huge congratulations on your new daughter! Six pounds doesn't seem at all bad for a premature baby, no? I hope she'll be all right after her time in the NICU. I'm sure it won't seem like it all the time, but man, how lucky you are to have a child of your own. I hope you get to enjoy time with her soon!
from outer-jessie :
Good luck! I hope everything goes well. I'm sure that everything will change when the baby comes, but I'm also sure there's no way to be sure of exactly how, until it happens :) But good luck and best wishes, all the same.
from outer-jessie :
Congratulations! Good for you :)
from outer-jessie :
You don't need to go the doctor/hospital route. Have you looked for a Planned Parenthood in your area? There's bound to be one of those or something similar around you somewhere. I don't think insurance or (much) money are necessary.
from outer-jessie :
Do you voice these things to your boyfriend as well as putting them up here? Because as much as we voyeurs enjoy relishing in the prickiness of a twice-removed individual, these things make no difference at all if he's not hearing them too. No doubt you realize that, but I just wanted to check. Cheers!
from outer-jessie :
Chin up, young one. Only you know what's best for you. Anyway, you're a good read, and I'll be back.
from glorycloud :
what can I say? the Lord opens and closes the womb-hope things work out-peace
from xxholding-on :
hey i saw you were online and i really wanted the vote from diaryland members towards an art contest i joined. It's a coach marketing contest and i need as many votes as i can get, please help! In addition I just wanted to say this is not spam, its self promotion and I need as much help possible. Thanks again! http://www.brickfish.com/Pages/PhotosAlbums/PhotoView.aspx?picid=975395_34070543&pid=2767347&scid=452
from thinfoil :
Please, enlighten me, what is option number three? its surely not treat people with respect, and kindness, and make them feel special. because that doesnt work. all you get for your efforts there is kicked in the teeth.
from sunflowerowl :
Yeah it is! I love the fishing teddy bears with top hats. It's all good fun. Thanks for leaving a note. I'm about to read your diary :)
from glorycloud :
I dig your diary because it is so real-but I do wish your life was not so rough
from manfromvenus :
Hey, I do the 'typing on an iPod touch' thing as well. Although usually just for comments in guestbooks. You do whole entries? Jeepers.
from glorycloud :
thanks for the note-we live in dark times-we need to get ready to meet the Lord-peace
from coldandgray :
love your writing; fingers crossed for you on the job front.
from glorycloud :
that lava lamp was a Father's Day gift from our kids many years ago-or was it a birthday gift from our kids? anyway the lamp does not work anymore but I keep it to remind me of our kids-I love my children-peace
from coldandgray :
Thanks for your note, it made me GUFFAW.
from journalmine :
I hope this does go away. I was just doing the "symptom checker" on webmd.com. Very likely an ovarian cyst. Says it should go away in 1-3 menstrual cycles. I'm sure a doctor could ease my mind further, but his bill wouldn't. :-) About the sudden hardness and pain . . . maybe it has to get worse before it gets better? I'm glad you left your note. Thank you. Makes me feel better to have heard from someone with an experience of this. I'm 32 and thought this sort of thing wouldn't happen until the next decade. I feel old now. :-P
from glorycloud :
want you to know I read through a lot of diary entries today-your life sounds rough
from spit-tears :
Good call. Put your foot down! Good Luck winning next time you play.
from beatle-nut :
Yeah there's a photo of it in my diary. It's a bit shiny from bepanthen, but that's ok. I've been busybusy! and when not busy, drinking or hungover... hahaha! it's a good life. How are you doing?
from beatle-nut :
Hey hun! Great to see you back again! I finally got the john lennon tattoo! I'm SOOOO excited! love!
from glorycloud :
read your diary this morning-hope love lasts forever for you-peace
from beatle-nut :
Hey sweets! Don't pay any attention to your dad, you're not making a mistake, you're doing what's best for you in the here and now. If down the track it shows you made a bad decision, it serves as a life lesson in the long run. Muchy love! xxx
from beatle-nut :
It's ok honeybun, you've got me here! :P Fat lot of good that's gonna do you on the other side of the world... ** Glad things went well with the InLaws :P hope everything is getting so much better all the time :D hehe! Miss your regular entries! xxx
from glorycloud :
I collect music by the Swans reissues-also Angels of Light-Michael Gira has put out also solo CD's limited issues signed by him
from beatle-nut :
wow that's a lot of people!! I sometimes wish i lived in america - just for baseball. it's the only sport i really enjoy watching, and we don't really care about it in Oz. Sigh.
from glorycloud :
thank you for adding me to your favorite list-look forward to getting to know you-I see we like the same kind of music-peace
from beatle-nut :
Yeah, lack of KymKarma sucks. But as i say, i'm losing hope on that. more on that today. Jo and i did get a chance for Happy Weed the other night though, which makes everything better! How does it feel not being with the people who bring you down anymore?
from beatle-nut :
Ok, so i did end up getting VERY drunk... but my latest entry explains why. I'm TOTALLY justified!! However i didn't get my KymKarma. I have a funny feeling i never will :( However YAY you're not with the nasty family anymore, but with lovely jon! *dances happily for you*
from beatle-nut :
:D i don't have enough hair to let down!! hahaha! We'll be careful, we've all sworn off tequila, and we are all too broke to get utterly smashed. Maybe my good karma will be Kym... Unlikely, but i can hope. How are those chest pains going??
from beatle-nut :
It's great you two are getting closer! I love it when things go right! I think i'm starting to get all my good karma for the fact everything is going shit recently. I'm back at work again, after a good ol' 6 hour break. I'm heading into my 3rd nightshift in a row... i've been not at work for about 12 of the last 72 hours. Sigh. But all the money coming in means i'm able to get out of my slump sooner! Hurrah! And i shall be getting drunk saturday night - nice drunk as opposed to tequila drunk. *shudder* ... Tequila...
from beatle-nut :
awww hun i'm sorry your cousin's true colours came through. It's always disappointing when that happens! Of course you can always play the "i had sex on yuor couch" card. Maddie still uses the "i had sex on your floor" card for amusement purposes! Escape from your cousin and fly to the other side of the world to watch a DVD in a stuffy flat! :P
from beatle-nut :
Awwww! Happy loveness! I'm so glad you're so happy at the moment hun!
from beatle-nut :
Yes. i'm totally insane. And now you can read ALLLLL about my Friday the 13th. Gawd you could tell that's what it was. It was horriffic! So are you a nanny or something? Hurrah for spending money!! And you should totally come over to australia to watch across the universe with me :P i'll get all my Beatlefreak friends together and we'll have a big showing at the flat :P
from beatle-nut :
have you seen the film Across The Universe? If you haven't, you've gotta. Anyway, it's the strawberry from that. hahaha! It's not easy work, that's for sure, and regardless of age, there are no two that can be treated the same. also since i'm one of like 4 staff that work here, i'm pretty much here all day every day some weeks. Every morning this week i've been up at 6 to get here (that is, if i'm not still here from nightshift and the afternoon before), i go home while they're at school, and then i'm back from 3-9. It's cool though, i'm trained to do a whole lot of procedures that usually you have to be a nurse to do! hahaha i feel very important!! Oh, and what did you think of that Marcy Playground song? Isn't it amazingly profound??
from beatle-nut :
Nah i sleep on my stomach... which was a REAL bummer when i got my strawberry Fields tattoo on my stomach! haha! The first night i had it i was staying at a friend's place, on a bed with a woolen overlay and no sheet... I had to peel myself off in the morning. almost as painful as the tattoo itself!! haha!! The kids i look after are mainly between 5 and 20, but we have about 8 who are 20 to about 60. The 'easiest' we have are twins with high-functioning autism so are pretty self-sufficient, and then they go all the way through with some able to walk a little all the way to cerebral palsy where they can't do anything and are on 50 medications. very sad. And yes, you met her for a reason that will become clear in time :P
from beatle-nut :
Yeah i've added it to my last entry for you to see, i nearly wet myself when she showed me!! Yeah, top of the spine, but it's a specific design. I have a book called the illustrated beatles lyrics, where Alan Aldridge got a bunch of artists to do their interpretations of beatles songs. I love the All You Need Is Love One, i'll probably get it blade to blade. I've posted a picture of that one for you too. Yeah, the kids i look after are completely dependent, most of them can't do anything for themselves as i think i've mentioned in a recent entry. It doesn't come across mean, i know exactly what you mean. i mean, it's 12:06am and i'm at work hoping none of them cry out in the night!! Sigh, but someone has to do it, and that someone is me!
from beatle-nut :
Yeah, a friend of mine once photoshopped my face onto that photo! haha! it looked really realistic also! I'm getting one of the photos Astrid took in Hamburg on my RIGHT calf... and would you believe i'm getting "all you need is love" at the top of my spine? GOD it's getting spooky here!! hahaha! Re: Recent entry, kids are hard work. I work with kids with disabilities and that exhausts me enough, let alone if they were ALL running around and talking... i do love kids though... I wish to eventually be one of those commended mothers of 4+ kids... haha!
from beatle-nut :
Yeah, there's actually a few of us around... if you know where to find the Beatle fans... usually under a moss covered rock holed up with their Record players and back-catalogue of beatles LPs. :D we're an amazing species! I'll be getting a john portrait tattoo on my leg before the year is out with any luck!
from beatle-nut :
Hey! I stumbled upon your diary through the members' area and really enjoyed reading what you had to say. Initially i was just overjoyed at the John Lennon reference in your profile and layout, then i read back and what you had to say about being the one in the school group to go the 'other way' so to speak, and you and i are a little bit in the same boat on that one! :)

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