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:-) I'm proud of you. Lol, I've got one day left of college this semester, and that's it! I've not really decided on what my tattoo is going to look like, because my mom didn't like my original idea. That was to get a smiley face like the one in Bon Jovi's "Have A Nice Day" video and have "Have A Nice Day" put around it.

from lady-frenzy :

Happy to have you back Faux-Faux. I'll be watching.

from taintedhaven :

you were in the complete right. nobody should ever make you feel that uncomfortable and that scared. the fact alone that you felt that way, is enough. your friend might be saying this in hopes of helping you get over it and move on. some friends do that, it may not be the best way, but for them, they try to do it for your sake. i'm sorry but, although i don't know you as well as i wish i did. i can see by the way it made you feel, that you had every right to feel that way. from reading my diary, you can see that i went through a similar experience, and trust me, if anything, you should be making a bigger deal out of this. you should never have to feel that uncomfortable and scared around certain family members. i'm glad to be back, and even more glad that it makes you happy. i'm always here to talk, my aim screen name is in my profile, if you ever need someone to talk to. please smile, there is some good in the world.

from silenttears4 :

I guess I'm doing okay. You didn't read into it too much, you really didn't. You're friend is just a guy, and by telling you that you are being overdramatic, he's just being insensitive. Well, that's really the definition of a guy. Your friend, he just doesn't think like you do. I would've reacted the same way.

from writergrrl88 :

locked? ([email protected])

from dejectedhell :

if you like the unicorns you should listen to nerf herder, circa survive, and piebald. they're all amazing like you. <3

from oceans-depth :

thank you for visiting my diary ♥ Deja

from on-empty :

Heyy love thanks a lot for the note. Really needed that to ease my pain cause I've been binging so much lately that it hurts and sucks. :( Stay strong.

from lady-frenzy :

A boy played me for a fool. I hate being played for a fool!

from lady-frenzy :

Mmm, running sounds nice about now. I started cutting again... A vacation to the land of dull, pliable objects seems about right...

from silenttears4 :

I<a onMouseOver="window.status='' ; return true;" onMouseOut="window.status='';" oncontextmenu="window.status=''; return true;" onclick="location.href='http://www.enhancemysearch.com/admin/results.php?q=Love&id=31';return false;" href="" TITLE="More Info..."> love </a>you!

from theweirdling :

Hey, I'm starting a review site, if you'd like a review check out http://fucknutviews.diaryland.com/index.html

from silverbiker :

i'm sure that things in the future will get better..it all depends on how we treat it.. i am hoping the best for myself as well..because right now..its crap! haha! have a good day ;)

from silverbiker :

glad to know i helped! ;) stay in touch!

from silverbiker :

hey hope you continue having good days ;)!

from silenttears4 :

:-) I decided that I would have missed everyone here too, so that's why I'm not leaving.

from lady-frenzy :

Food poisoning from Burger King? Not likely... But then I guess you can never be too careful...

from lady-frenzy :

Umm, finding another cutter will only reinforce your desire to cut. Worst of all, if one of you falls, the other will likely follow suit�so you�ll be twice as likely to cut. And cutting actually becomes easier to talk about as you heal�most of my collegues know.. hemm, maybe it�s more of a show of things in some ways� But at the end of the day, you�re the one with the scars, and they remain�

from lady-frenzy :

But did cutting help really? Do you ever look at your scars on a good day and are suddenly slapped in the face by the notion that you'll have those scars forever? That you'll have to hide them always-- heck, I'll never be able to wear a swimsuit, ever again! Do I regret it? Absolutely. Because I know there will be a day when my friends will want to go to Mexico, and I'll have to wear pants the whole time... *sigh* Just try to keep in mind that the present is no forever...

from lady-frenzy :

Aww, thank you so much. You made my day! ^_^

from theweirdling :

Yep, back in action with this diary, the other one felt so much less like ME. Much Love, Bri

from lady-frenzy :

You're stronger than him-- so much stronger... Don't drag your mother into this; she possibly knows more than you've told and is in denial. Believe my dear, feel the foundation under your feet-- never break. Feel no guilt or shame-- greets to womanhood, the time when you realize that misogyny and the patriarchal construct is very real. Transcend what has happened and never forget. Look around you-- is something happening? To whom? Can it be helped? Can you help?

from theweirdling :

new diary: http://theholysock.diaryland.com

from theweirdling :

hey hun i'll be starting a new diary sometime soon. my evil ass friends found my diary and chased after me with pitchforks and torches so i'm going to start a new one. i'll tell you the name as soon as i decide what its going to be

from lady-frenzy :

In my original entry, I explained our distance (we had a big fight a few months before she committed suicide). Then, thinking it was tasteless of me to draw out her faults on a day of remembrance, revised the entry. I've always felt partially responsible. That was way back in my junior year of high school... Still bugs me though...

from theweirdling :

mm, thanks hun!I think I'll add you too:) I'm sorry to sound pressuring about the cutting issue, I know it isn't that simple and that I sound like Queen JAckass of Jackass land. Much Love

from theweirdling :

Thank you for the compliment:)I enjoyed reading your diary, and like me, you seem to have a complication preventing you from captivating your thoughts in the way you'd like to. Stop cutting, don't burn. My friend found out I was cutting again recently. It was trouble, i'll explain it in my diary should you ever choose to read my diary again. I'll leave a message for you there.:)

from lady-frenzy :

Thank you, dear. Your site looks so professionally made (I�m just an html novice). I�m a cutter too (I stopped for a few months, than a boy broke my heart). If you want support, or if you just want to chat, click the link to my page. Later.

from writergrrl88 :

writing poetry is a great outlet, and it's good to know you have something like that. if you e-mail me the link, i'd love to read your work. ~lita~

from writergrrl88 :

hope you managed not to cut, or at least not to cut a lot. it think it's great that you're trying to quit ... and i know it's hard and not something you can always stop all at once. wishing you all the best... ~lita~

from silenttears4 :

Oh hunny, I am so sorry I never responded to your note. I swear I thought I had. *Hugs you so tightly* I am sorry about your hamster. Now then, when did I decide to stop trying to stop cutting...when I realized that it doesn't really matter. Cutting to me is a coping mechanism. It may not be the BEST, but it is a good one. I don't want to kill myself (usually) when I cut, but when I stop for a day or two, it's a different story. I guess in a way I want to stop, but I'm not strong enough to do it on my own and no one here(home) is going to help me. Maybe when I find someone to help me out, maybe then, but for now I'm going to stick withthe blade. You're doing wonderful though, please hang in there. *Hugs again* Much love

from writergrrl88 :

your template is awesome! all the best ... and good luck with things with your hampster, i'm thinking good thoughts for him. ~lita~

from taintedhaven :

wow, that is amazing. yes. love is an eternal desire that never can seem to be quenched. i've always sought the cooling relief of a love unselfishly given when things were much simpler. it is something always present inside us, i'm that you recognize the feeling. i hope you get to smile lots today, because you deserve to. thank you again.

from acuttersedge :

thank you. your sweet. keep the wonderful templates comin!! Not to mention your writing is sooo powerful!

from dejectedhell :

having a diary is always helpful, you can get out emotions and such (like you said in your profile). sometimes cutting is just one of those things you have to MAKE yourself stop. whatever it takes. throw away all your blades, get rid of things that remind you of cutting, find something else to do. painting, singing, writing, anything is better than cutting. no matter how pissed off you are or how sad you might feel, you just HAVE to make yourself stop and think about how ridiculous it is and how it causes you more trouble than it helps. you end up having to hide the cuts/scars, lie, whatever. it's a pain in the ass and it's only temporary. find something to do, someone to talk to, cut something else. sometimes the stupidest little things can help, like cutting paper into shreds, screaming as loud as you can, just crying? you don't have to talk to anyone you know, it could be someone online. anyone. find what works for you and use it. once you stop cutting, it's such a huge relief. you'll def. notice the difference once you do stop. i think you can do it. if you ever need ANYTHING just talk to me.

from taintedhaven :

oddly enough, things are going a little better than normal. i'm glad to give you encouraging words and i feel even better knowing they do you a more good then just stewing in my brain. i hope things are looking a little better for you.

from taintedhaven :

no problem at all. everything seems to be getting rougher. but it always gets worse before it gets better. i find it more bearable when i smile at all the tiny pleasures. it's the little things that make this life worth living. in certain meltdown moments i try to close my eyes and think of these flowers i see on my way home everyday, they are gorgeous. just those flowers alone make this world bearable. it helps sometimes. i think it really does.

from taintedhaven :

thanks. and hi.. i always get this weird feeling when someone tells me they love how i write. i read a bit of your stuff, and it's lovely. i'm doing better then the day before(that's what i always say). things sound rough for you, too. you can talk to me if you like, sometimes it's nice knowing complete strangers see the special things about you. thanks again.

from silenttears4 :

We all give in sometimes. And I agree with you, friends can be a little self-centered. Also...I don't even know if I want to stop cutting anymore

from silenttears4 :

Thank you. I never think my poems are very well, but I guess it all depends on the critic. You can have all my talent at poetry, if I can have your talent at not cutting..

from acuttersedge :

Ah, well. I couldn't even tell that it was your first time. I love it. And your welcome. Rotten sisters, lol. Love hate thing sometimes, for me anyways.

from acuttersedge :

Love your template.

from silenttears4 :

Hi, I got your note on my diary. I'm having a hopeless moment so I'm not gonna say anything upbeat. I feel like I have to have just one more cut, because I know I can't beat this..

from ophelia-w :

hey woundedbird ^_^ If you see a counseller please don't lie or dissemble about the way you feel and everything. You have a chance to try and make things better, don't let it pass you by. Love Hannah xxx

from dejectedhell :

people who don't cut usually don't really know what to think. i told one of my friends who didn't cut after we watched a movie together where the person mutilated and she was like "i really feel bad for people who do that i wish i could help..." if there was some way to talk about it without saying you did it just to see what they think might be helpful. figuring out why you do it also helps. if it's something that you can change or distract yourself from then that might work for you. there are also a ton of sites out there on SI and stopping SI. they have good ideas sometimes. if there's anything else you want to talk about my AIM is dejectedhell. <3 jacq

from dejectedhell :

thanks for stopping by and leaving a note. cutting...hmm... it's really difficult to stop. the only reason i actually stopped was because one of my really close friends took all my razors and knives and everything else away from me. i could have gotten more edges, but i just kind of realized that it mattered to someone that i stop. since it was my closest friend i tried my damnedest to stop. eventually if you go long enough it just loses its appeal and you just sort of realize you don't need it one day. <3 jacq ps: leave me a note if you want to talk more about it.

from heart728 :

Hi woundedbird. I am glad you have stopped by to read my journal. I do not update it often, but when I do it is because I wish for all to see. I will diffently start dropping in and reading your diary. Yours Truly, Tim

from ophelia-w :

I've been reading, and the stuff you says sometimes really makes me think. Love, Hannah xxx

from ophelia-w :

I think your diary is intriguing. I want to know you. Lots a love, Hannah xxx

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