messages to catmelody:
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| from whystinger : |
| I don't know why, but I saw your user name in recent public entries and clicked in to your diary. Interesting? I read the most recent entry, then clicked back and then read the short version. It hit home a bit and hit sort of hard. I'm sorry, but I have a bit to say. First, I feel for you. Why? I went through similar with my wife. When first married, she had a very strong sex drive, but I knew something was wrong. I felt “the sex is not really good, but it sure is plentiful. What it lacks in quality will be made up in quantity.” Boy was I wrong. It dwindled and it was blamed on her anti-depression medicine, blamed on her job and eventually blamed on me. Long story, but I figured out that my wife was withholding sex because she was pissed, but wouldn't discuss it or admit she was pissed and all that. She had some big problems and could not simply tell me what she wanted, but would have to manipulate me or expect me to “know.” “You should know what restaurant I want to go eat at if you loved me enough” (yeah, that is fucked up). Is your husband truly asexual or does he have some problems like depression or low testosterone? Does he stay up and beat off to porn and is that the problem? (probably not from what little I read). Will he talk about it? If so, get his ass to the doctor and make sure it is not physical. If he will discuss it and doesn't want to check with the doctors, then start negotiations with husband about your friend you want to fuck. I asked my (now) ex-wife “so if you don’t want sex with me anymore, how about I get someone who wants sex and no relationship?” Nope, she claimed to want sex and blamed me. If you want to hear more, I will leave another note or give you access to my diary – most of those entries are old, but thinking about this shit is really helpful for me to get it out. I hope you find a good solution. |
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